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Does the relationship with a narcissist ever end? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Today we are talking about. We're answering the question, do
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  relationships with narcissists ever really end?
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist and welcome to
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  episode 977 of The Narcissist Code
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  Boo 977 episodes. Y'all Goodness gracious, we are
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  we are rolling it alone. I I need some ideas on what to
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  do for episode 1000, which is coming up pretty soon.
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  Y'all this is crazy, crazy crazy.
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  So yeah, do relationships with narcissists really truly ever
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  end? Do they?
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  What do you think? Drop your answer in the comment
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  section right now. You got 2 seconds, 12GO.
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  But seriously, so they do end. Y'all they can end, you know?
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  But a lot of times, like sometimes a narcissist will
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  absolutely leave you alone, right?
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  Some narcissists don't Hoover you.
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  They don't mess with you. After the relationship ends,
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  some of them will disappear and be out of your life like they
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  never even like it never even happened.
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  You know, like you've rebuilt after the wreckage and all the
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  others, like, like a a little toxic tornado came through and
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  ripped up a lot of stuff. And now you've rebuilt and it's
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  like they never existed, right? But some of them will.
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  Some of them will make it hard to get rid of them.
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  Like a a a tick that's dug deeply into your arm.
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  He was like, I got to grab his butt and twist it.
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  You know what? You know what?
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  I tell you don't. You got to grab the butt and
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  twist. Make sure you get the mandibles
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  to make sure the tick, the tick is out of your system.
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  But even when you pull them out, just like a tick, even when you
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  pull them out, sometimes they leave things behind, right?
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  Some ticks leave behind Lyme disease, which could ruin your
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  life. You know, They leave behind
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  crazy debt. They leave behind toxic traits.
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  They leave behind emotional, physical, mental trauma.
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  They leave behind just so much wreckage in your life will leave
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  you to pick up the pieces. But does the relationship ever
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  end? Yeah, some of them do.
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  Yeah, most of them do. There.
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  Are there some narcissists that will just continuously,
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  constantly try to keep popping up into your life?
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  Yes, there's some narcissists that damn near will almost never
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  give up 5101520 years down the road, and I'm pretty sure that a
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  lot of people can attest to that.
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  Five years later, I've moved on. They've moved on, but they're
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  still in my inbox. They still create fake profiles
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  and stalk me. They still send me messages and
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  this, this, that. A lot of y'all already have
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  experienced that and that sucks. I'm just telling you that and
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  that sucks. But it's because sometimes, like
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  this is the like this topic kind of crosses the the threshold of
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  what a lot of people refer to as the final discard, right?
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  Like the final discard. Like is this the final discard?
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  It could be, but a lot of times it's up to you when the final
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  discard happens. Like when a when it when it when
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  it's finally final. It's up to you to be done with.
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  It's up to you to keep cutting the cut off communication.
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  It's up to you to remain maintain no contact.
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  It's up to you to maintain the lowest of low contact.
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  Just about the kids. If y'all have kids in the
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  picture, it will not be. It falls into up to you because
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  some narcissists will leave you alone.
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  I told you, some of them, some of them will disappear and leave
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  you alone. And never, never, never to be
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  heard from again. It sounded like the beginning of
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  Moana Maui lost his hook and fell into the sea.
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  Never to be heard from again. But Tafiti Groove.
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  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I watched too many movies.
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  But yeah, some of them will leave you alone and disappear.
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  But some of them will remain in your life.
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  They'll try to, they'll try to Hoover you.
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  You know, the back and forth, the on and off that type of
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  stuff continues until you decide to put an end to it.
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  You you have to decide to put an end to it.
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  You have to decide to put the put the the nail in the coffin.
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  You have to decide to file the restraining order.
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  Sometimes you have to decide to file the eviction notice to get
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  them the hell up out of your spot because they refuse to
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  leave. They're not on the lease,
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  They're not on the deed. They're not, they're not on the
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  mortgage, y'all not even married.
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  But they refuse to leave. You have to evict them.
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  But you have to be safe. Of course you have to be safe
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  because you never know how people are going to react when
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  they they feel like their life is on the line or their life is
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  about to be turned upside down. You just never know in that
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  space right there. So that's what I'm telling you.
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  You have to you. It falls under you.
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  And I know it doesn't sound. I know it doesn't seem fair,
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  but, you know, a lot of times in these types of relationship
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  spaces, fairness goes out the door.
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  You know, fairness leaves the fairness packs its bag, packs,
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  packs its bags up and leaves. It's not fair.
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  It really isn't. So it falls onto you.
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  To be strong, you have to be. Sometimes you have to be
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  stronger than a person that's going through a similar
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  situation. Some survivors have to go
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  through more than other survivors.
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  Some thrivers have to go through more than other thrivers.
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  But you're still a thriver. You're still a survivor.
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  You still got out of it. You still ended it.
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  You still, there's still finality to it.
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  But sometimes you have to fight a little harder.
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  Some battles are tougher than other battles.
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  And it's not me trying to diminish anybody's struggle,
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  because your struggle is your struggle.
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  I'm not trying to diminish anything that anybody went
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  through. But I think people couldn't
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  acknowledge that. Some people go through more, you
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  know, Some people go through physical abuse, mental abuse.
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  Sometimes it's verbal abuse, a boost, a boost.
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  Sometimes it's verbal abuse, emotional abuse.
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  You see what I'm saying? I'm not saying one is worse than
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  the other, but sometimes it's like, well, I had this.
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  They set my house on fire while I was in it and had me chained
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  to the chained to the bed. I had to fight through and crawl
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  through the flames and stuff like that to to get out of
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  there. You see what I'm saying?
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  Somebody y'all has. There's different level.
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  I mean, there's different survivors.
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  I'm not trying to minimize anybody's struggle, anybody's
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  strife. I promise you, that's not my
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  goal here because I know everybody's survival is your
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  survival. Somebody's little could be
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  somebody's big, somebody's less could be somebody's locked.
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  Somebody's few can be somebody's much.
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  You know what I mean? Within that space right there,
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  that's what That's what goes on. That's what That's what happens
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  right there. Because within this dynamic.
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  But you are a survivor. You made it through.
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  But if you wanted to end, you have to be the one to end it
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  late. When does it?
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  When does it end? Would it?
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  Why do they keep coming back? Why is it?
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  Why are they not blocked? I know some of y'all do block,
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  but some of y'all just ignore. I know, I understand that you
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  have kids, but some of y'all don't have any more ties to the
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  person. All the ties have been severed.
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  They're just not blocked. You know what's keeping you from
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  blocking it? What's keeping you from close,
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  from making this the final chapter in the book?
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  The and I block. They ask the end.
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  What's stopping you from doing that?
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  What's stopping you? This is not.
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  This is again, this is not no blame.
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  But what? I'm asking you a question.
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  What's stopping you? This is not victim, not victim
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  blaming. This is victim empowerment.
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  To help you shift from victim to survivor to Thriver.
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  We love, we love it. We love them all over here.
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  We love it all over here. But we want to help you
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  transition to the next stage. So what?
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  What is? What is stopping you from doing
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  that? Because it ends when you end it.
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  Sometimes. Sometimes you have to be the one
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  that just says, hey, look, I'm done with this.
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  Don't call me anymore. Block you everywhere.
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  Boom. Sometimes you had to be 1 to
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  move out while they're at work because they're dangerous,
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  because they're scary. Sometimes you have to disappear
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  on them. I'm not saying abscond with the
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  kids. I'm not saying that on
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  everybody's situation is different because then sometimes
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  you take the kids, you disappear, they'll file parental
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  parental alienation, some kidnapping stuff and they'll,
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  they'll get cut to the kids, you know, you know, follow up one
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  mom's battle. She's.
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  I see her posting a lot of stuff about this.
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  One one, ONE mom's moms battle. She's on TikTok, Twitter,
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  Instagram, she's everywhere. My name is Tina Swinton.
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  She's amazing creator y'all just check her out.
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  But she posts a lot about this type of stuff like like she she
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  can help you get out. I mean she she she has she she
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  she survived with her kids. I'm stuttering because she she
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  affected me in a positive way. So shout out to Tina.
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  She's one of the first people to help me on my platform on my
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  journey. So shout out to Tina Swinton
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  over at One Mom's Battle. But that's what I'm just telling
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  people. Make a plan.
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  You can plan sometimes you, sometimes you can plan.
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  Well, Lee, I don't have any money.
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  I don't have any financial situation.
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  That's why you have to start planning now, because that's
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  what the narcissist wants. They want you to feel beat up.
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  They want you to feel beat down. They want you to feel like
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  you're on a desert deserted island by yourself with just the
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  narcissist. They want you to make you feel
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  like you see you're shooting smoke signals into the air.
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  Nobody's going to see. They want to make you feel like
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  you're alone, like nobody's coming to save you.
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  Because sometimes, a lot of times nobody is coming to save
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  you. Because guess what, sometimes
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  you got to save you, Sometimes it falls onto you.
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  To save you, you have to take the ability.
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  You have to take the responsibility of saving
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  yourself. You're a superhero and
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  sometimes, sometimes you have to be the biggest superhero to
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  yourself. Sometimes you have to put on
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  your Superman or your superwoman Cape and a super person Cape and
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  save yourself. Sometimes you have to be the
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  hero to you. You don't need another hero.
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  Sometimes you have to be the hero to you.
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  You know you can save yourself. You can look, there's nothing,
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  there's absolutely nothing wrong with stepping into inside the
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  phone booth and changing into your super person costume and
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  saving yourself. You can save you.
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  You can save your kids. You could end this for good, you
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  know? Because sometimes being in these
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  types of relationships can take you to a dark place.
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  Y'all know what I mean by dark place?
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  I don't go into details. In that dark place where you
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  feel like you don't want to be here anymore, It'd be easy to to
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  to opt out. We're not doing that.
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  We're not opting out. You're opting into life and
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  we're opted into thriving and we're opting into getting out of
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  this for good, ending it for good.
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  Every time I'm on a pathway to healing lead, they come back
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  into my life, then kick up all your life.
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  It's your life. You have to stop them from
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  coming back. Restraining orders, Eviction
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  notices, Protecting yourself. You.
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  If you're the United States of America, you might as well go
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  ahead and arm your damn self. It's the Second Amendment,
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  right? Protect yourself.
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  Because they don't. They don't want to protect you.
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  They the ones you need protected from.
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  They. Oh, I just want to.
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  Look, I'm just calling you from 17 fake numbers because I just
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  want to make sure you're safe. You're the person I need to be
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  safe from. I need to be safe from you.
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  Stop calling me. Leave me the hell alone.
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  So do relationships with narcissists ever end?
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  Yes. When you you end it for good.
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  Even if they even if they are the ones that leave you, you can
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  end it for good by healing, by growing from it.
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  Because just in case they come back, you want to be strong
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  enough to say hell no. Leave me the hell alone.
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  I'm done. You didn't see the last chapter
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  in my book. I left a block.
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  They asked the End Self Love Journal on Amazon.
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  You see what I'm saying? I'm yeah, I'm trying to empower
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  you. I love, yeah, I love helping
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  you. I love seeing y'all thrive.
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  I've been doing this coaching stuff for almost three years
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  now. Y'all know there's there's
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  people I talked to in the very beginning of my coaching journey
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  that were in touch relationships.
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  They were in super abusive relationships where they were on
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  the calls with me bloody and bruised up, didn't know what
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  they wanted to do. We're talking about opting out.
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  And we we talked and they opted in and now there's three years
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  later, they're married to other people.
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  They're having happy, healthy lives right now.
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  There's hope on the other side of it.
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  That's what I'm trying to convey to you.
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  It ends when you end it and there's hope on the other side.
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  Sometimes the scariest, the the scariest part of the hill and
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  journey is taking that first step because you don't know what
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  comes next for you. That could be exciting, or it
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  could be terrifying, or keep a little bit of both.
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  I'm excitedly terrified. What's coming next?
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  But it ends when you end it. It ends when you take your power
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  back. It ends when you love you more
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  than you love them. It ends when you understand that
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  you can give yourself more than they ever gave you.
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  It ends when you decide that you can.
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  You deserve way more than they can ever provide you.
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  You love you. It ends when you love you.
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  So do they end? Yes, they absolutely do end.
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  Just because just because they keep messing with you doesn't
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  mean it hasn't ended. It's because they keep coming
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  back five years later. Texting you from a fake number
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  doesn't mean it's not over. It is over.
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  You done with them? You're over them.
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  Who gives them? They reach out from a fake
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  number later on. That doesn't.
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  That doesn't mean the relationship is still going on.
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  It's over. You've been moved on.
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  You've healed. You've grown.
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  It's been over. Nobody give a damn if they
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  reaching out now. What the heck they going to do?
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  They're going to try to ruin your life now?
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  No. Hell no.
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  They had their shot. They've ruined it.
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  They tried to destroy you. They tried.
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  They tried to bury you, but they forgot that you were a seed.
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  They tried to bury you in six feet of dirt.
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  Not realizing this, they they tried to bury you and not
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  realizing that they were actually planting you.
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  And they left you for dead. And they came back and saw a six
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  foot Bush where they thought they buried you 6 feet deep.
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  They saw a giant tree in a place.
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  That little seed they dropped in the ground.
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  We're growing through it now. Y'all.
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  Y'all not fired, Are you? Not fired up?
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  God damn. Oh, this might be my hype.
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  This video right here. I'm sweat.
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  Y'all see this way. I'm sweating.
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  That is a sweat. That's an empowerment.
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  It's what I love it. I love it.
• 13:44
  Y'all subscribe to my newsletter because my video series about
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  self love is coming out here pretty soon.
• 13:50
  Subscribe to the newsletter. The link is in the bio.
• 13:51
  The link is in the description of every video and podcast I do.
• 13:55
  Every almost every video from my 30 day video series about self
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  love and growth. It's called How to Love Me 30
• 14:00
  Days of Self Love with Lee Hammock.
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  Almost every video is like this super empowering.
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  There's no blame. It's it's just it's healing the
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  growth. The newsletter is coming out
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  pretty I'm going to drop it here pretty soon.
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  Working on right now. Make sure you subscribe to the
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  channel. It ends when you end it.
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  Mr. Hill, this is out peace. Thank you so much for making it
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  to the end of my video. You are a mental illness
• 14:20
  Rockstar and I appreciate you for being here.
• 14:22
  If you haven't already, make sure to click on the screen to
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  subscribe to the channel and watch another one of my videos
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  on my playlist. There's also a link available up
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  here for you to purchase my kids.
• 14:32
  But remember, it's not your fault on Amazon so check that
• 14:35
  out. Thank you.
• 14:36
  I will see you in the next video.
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  Peace.