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Did My Negligence Kill My Baby? · Pastor John Piper's answers

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  Speaker 1: Well. By far, the hardest part of my work on
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  Speaker 1: this podcast is reading the sorrow filled emails that we get,
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  Speaker 1: and especially those from parents who have lost young children.
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  Speaker 1: Some of you who are listening are enduring tremendous pain,
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  Speaker 1: which is so evident in the stories that you share
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  Speaker 1: with us, and this sorrow of losing a child is
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  Speaker 1: only made heavier when that loss may be connected to
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  Speaker 1: a parent's own decision, as is in the case in
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  Speaker 1: this email from an anonymous woman. Pastor John and I
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  Speaker 1: have been passing through a very dark and hard time
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  Speaker 1: since the recent loss of my unborn baby girl. My
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  Speaker 1: expected delivery day past and I was told to go
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  Speaker 1: to the hospital for an induced labor. I delayed that decision,
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  Speaker 1: trusting that I would eventually deliver by baby girl without
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  Speaker 1: any force labor needed. A week later, I was told
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  Speaker 1: my baby died in the womb. I was shattered by
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  Speaker 1: the news. Directly responsible for my child's death. I feel
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  Speaker 1: God should have given me a sign or something. Why
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  Speaker 1: did he allow my baby to die. It's been seven
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  Speaker 1: weeks and it still feels like yesterday. The pain is
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  Speaker 1: fresh every day, my heart is broken. I cry whenever
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  Speaker 1: I remember the whole scenario. I find it hard to pray,
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  Speaker 1: and when I do, I now doubt if God still
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  Speaker 1: hears me. I'm way down to the point that I
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  Speaker 1: feel my faith failing.
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  Speaker 2: When I was in Africa in nineteen ninety six visiting missionaries,
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  Speaker 2: I met a young Quaker missionary couple who had been
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  Speaker 2: there for fifteen years. The year before I got there,
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  Speaker 2: their eighteen month old daughter was backed over in a
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  Speaker 2: car and killed by a visiting missionary in there, And
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  Speaker 2: as I was visiting them those months later, their computer
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  Speaker 2: was broken, they had car trouble, their housing was being
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  Speaker 2: taken from them because the landlord had defaulted on a loan.
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  Speaker 2: And in all of that, this couple, to my other astonishment,
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  Speaker 2: was radiant with hope and with the love of Jesus Christ.
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  Speaker 2: They had not even gone home to bury the baby.
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  Speaker 2: They buried the baby in Kenya and pressed on with
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  Speaker 2: the work. Now I'm very aware that this young woman
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  Speaker 2: who has written to us can respond to that story
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  Speaker 2: in two very different ways. She can be angry with
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  Speaker 2: me or upset, as though I were trying to shame
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  Speaker 2: her that she hasn't yet felt that kind of hopeful.
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  Speaker 2: But she doesn't have to respond that way to my story.
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  Speaker 2: She can respond by saying, thank you God that you
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  Speaker 2: gave to that Quaker couple such grace to survive that
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  Speaker 2: unspeakable tragedy and survive it in hope. I don't feel
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  Speaker 2: that way, God, but I want to, and I ask
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  Speaker 2: for that miracle to happen in my life. She could
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  Speaker 2: respond that way. I hope she does. So here are
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  Speaker 2: a few thoughts that I pray God would use to
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  Speaker 2: give this kind of sustaining grace to our broken hearted mom. First,
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  Speaker 2: we don't know if your baby would have died anyway,
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  Speaker 2: and so we don't know if you were part of
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  Speaker 2: the reason the baby died. We just don't know. There're
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  Speaker 2: too many variables. You don't know. As much as you
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  Speaker 2: feel responsible, you don't know. Maybe maybe not. Second, you
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  Speaker 2: refer to your negligence. Maybe it was. I don't know
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  Speaker 2: enough to pass judgment, but frankly I doubt it. I
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  Speaker 2: doubt that you were negligent. Millions of women have passed
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  Speaker 2: their due dates and waited for birth without inducement. All
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  Speaker 2: the Piper babies were late, some as much as three weeks.
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  Speaker 2: To wait for a natural readiness need not be negligence. Third,
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  Speaker 2: your baby's life did not end. If you persevere in faith,
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  Speaker 2: you will be with your child in due time. I
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  Speaker 2: tried to spell out the reason for believing that in
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  Speaker 2: episode five hundred and fourteen of as Pestre John. You
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  Speaker 2: can go listen to it. Why I believe that there
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  Speaker 2: are just many significant reasons, even biblical ones that I
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  Speaker 2: think are compelling. Don't assume your baby is dead, not
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  Speaker 2: ultimately and not eternally, and that you'll never know what
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  Speaker 2: that baby would turn out to be, as God mysteriously
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  Speaker 2: gives it mature life. Fourth, I don't know what you
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  Speaker 2: have been taught about the sovereignty of God over life
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  Speaker 2: and death, but the biblical truth is that God is
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  Speaker 2: sovereign over who lives and who dies, and when and
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  Speaker 2: how they die. James four fifteen says, if the Lord wills,
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  Speaker 2: we will live. This is why. When Job's ten children
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  Speaker 2: died all at once in a collapsing house, Job arose
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  Speaker 2: toward his robe, shaved his head, fell on the ground,
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  Speaker 2: and worshiped and said, naked, I came from my mother's womb.
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  Speaker 2: Naked shall I return? The Lord gave and the Lord
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  Speaker 2: has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord,
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  Speaker 2: It is no true comfort to believe that death is
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  Speaker 2: controlled by the evil of Satan or the meaninglessness of chance.
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  Speaker 2: That is not a comfortable theology. What comforts us in death,
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  Speaker 2: ours and those we love. What comforts us in death
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  Speaker 2: is that the all, wise, all governing God has good
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  Speaker 2: reasons for whom he takes and whom he leaves, and
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  Speaker 2: and he does it. Your baby did not die in vain.
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  Speaker 2: God is doing a thousand things, yes, ten thousand things
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  Speaker 2: you cannot see. All of them are wise, All of
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  Speaker 2: them work for your good if you trust him. Fifth,
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  Speaker 2: even though we don't know ninety nine percent of what
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  Speaker 2: God's doing in the calamities of our lives, we do
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  Speaker 2: know a few of his purposes because He tells us
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  Speaker 2: in the Bible why he appoints suffering for his precious children.
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  Speaker 2: For example, James one twelve says, blessed is the man
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  Speaker 2: who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood
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  Speaker 2: the test, he will receive the crown of life, which
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  Speaker 2: God has promised to those who love him. Every loss
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  Speaker 2: is a test from God of our love. For God,
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  Speaker 2: our faith and love are being tested to prove that
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  Speaker 2: they are real and to make them stronger. Paul said
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  Speaker 2: of his own experience of suffering this, we were so
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  Speaker 2: utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed,
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  Speaker 2: we felt that we had received the sentence of death.
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  Speaker 2: But that was to make us rely not on ourselves
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  Speaker 2: but on God, who raises the dead. That's second Corinthians
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  Speaker 2: one eight and nine. God has dealt you just like Paul.
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  Speaker 2: He has dealt you a very painful blow, just like
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  Speaker 2: he did Ruth and Naomi in the Old Testament. But
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  Speaker 2: he is not against you. He wants you to trust
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  Speaker 2: Him even more deeply than you do now or ever have. Sixth,
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  Speaker 2: it is possible to live with a lifetime of regret
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  Speaker 2: and not be paralyzed or miserable. The apostle Paul regretted
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  Speaker 2: all his life that he had been a murdering persecutor
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  Speaker 2: of Christians. To the end of his life, he called
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  Speaker 2: himself the chief of sinners because of this horrible history
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  Speaker 2: in his life. But instead of paralyzing him, it made
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  Speaker 2: him even more effective, more effective minister of mercy because
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  Speaker 2: of the mercy shown to him after his sin. He
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  Speaker 2: wished it had not happened, because it was sin to
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  Speaker 2: kill Christians's sin, but he knew God could make even
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  Speaker 2: a history of sin serve his saving purposes. You can
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  Speaker 2: read that in One Timothy one twelve to seventeen seventh.
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  Speaker 2: Whatever measure of sin or guilt attaches to you because
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  Speaker 2: of your child's death, God is ready to forgive it.
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  Speaker 2: We don't know. I just don't know, and I don't
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  Speaker 2: think you know what measure of involvement was there. But
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  Speaker 2: you do know this. If we confess our sins, he
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  Speaker 2: is faithful and just to forgive our sins and to
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  Speaker 2: cleanse us from awe on righteousness, slate, wipe clean. And finally,
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  Speaker 2: what we can know for sure in this situation is
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  Speaker 2: that God's will for you is that you fight the
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  Speaker 2: good fight of faith, and that you win. You win.
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  Speaker 2: Two Timothy four to seven. He promises to help you.
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  Speaker 2: He speaks these words over you, you right now from Psalm
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  Speaker 2: ninety one fourteen, because you hold fast to me in love,
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  Speaker 2: I will deliver you. Or again in Psalm thirty two ten,
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  Speaker 2: steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the Lord.
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  Speaker 2: Or once more Psalm thirty four eighteen. The Lord is
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  Speaker 2: near the broken hearted and saves. He saves the crushed
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  Speaker 2: in spirit or circling back to Job, who lost all
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  Speaker 2: ten of his children. James says this in James five eleven.
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  Speaker 2: We consider those blessed who remain steadfast. You have heard
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  Speaker 2: of the steadfastness of Job, and you have seen the
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  Speaker 2: purpose of the Lord. How the Lord is compassionate and merciful,
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  Speaker 2: So be stead fast. Trust him. He's going to bring
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  Speaker 2: you through this humble, strong, wise, kind, confident.
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  Speaker 1: God is doing ten thousand things you cannot see. All
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  Speaker 1: of them are wise, all of them working together for
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  Speaker 1: your good if you trust him. What a perspective. Thank you,
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  Speaker 1: Pastor John. Again, check out APJ five fourteen are my
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  Speaker 1: Steptuplets in Heaven? That episode is available right now at
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  Speaker 1: Askpastor John dot com. And while you're in the archive,
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  Speaker 1: you may also want to check out an episode I
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  Speaker 1: did with Randy Alcorn. Randy as a friend of ours
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  Speaker 1: who appeared as a guest on APJA back in twenty fourteen,
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  Speaker 1: back when we had guests on pretty regularly, and he
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  Speaker 1: and I recorded an episode titled what age will I
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  Speaker 1: Appear in Heaven? That's APJA episode three sixty three, and
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  Speaker 1: at the end of that episode, he looks at Isaiah
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  Speaker 1: eleven and Isaiah sixty five, where there are apparently children
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  Speaker 1: in the New Creation, and he asks why why are
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  Speaker 1: there chill in the New Creation? And who is raising them?
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  Speaker 1: His answer to that I found very fascinating in Anyone
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  Speaker 1: who has lost a child will be interested in his
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  Speaker 1: answer as well. Abj's five fourteen and three sixty three
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  Speaker 1: available right now at askpastor John dot com. Well, what
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  Speaker 1: is white hot worship? White hot worship? Pastor John likes
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  Speaker 1: to use that phrase, but for those of you with
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  Speaker 1: a certain charismatic and Pentecostal background, you're going to hear
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  Speaker 1: that phrase in a whole different light. So what is
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  Speaker 1: white hot worship? We'll ask Pastor John next time. I'm
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  Speaker 1: Tony RANKI. We'll see you on Thursday.