Latest / The You Project / #1793 F**k Your Feelings (Or Maybe Not) - Unna Goldsworthy

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#1793 F**k Your Feelings (Or Maybe Not) - Unna Goldsworthy · The You Project

0:01
Speaker 1: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the You Project. Craig
0:03
Speaker 1: Anthey Harper's mind name. Anna Goldsworthy from Una Movement has
0:07
Speaker 1: graced us with her presence yet again.
0:10
Speaker 2: Hi kid, Hi, I just gracefully came in of grace Like.
0:16
Speaker 1: Oh, when I think of graceful, I think of you
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Speaker 1: like a little swan just gliding across my computer screen.
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Speaker 1: Just elegant, almost regal. Well, you're dressed in white, so
0:33
Speaker 1: you're the right color.
0:34
Speaker 2: I will take that. I will take it. But I
0:36
Speaker 2: get more of the Elaine Benis version of.
0:40
Speaker 1: Graceful Elaine from Seinfeld.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, there's a great episode where someone gives her a
0:48
Speaker 2: compliment and might even be the exact word graceful, and
0:51
Speaker 2: she kind of leans in in this really ungraceful way
0:54
Speaker 2: and was like really me, and it's hilarious, and that's
0:59
Speaker 2: pretty much how Yeah, I'm a tom boy, that's me.
1:04
Speaker 1: When I was thinking of Swan, I also thought of Tiff,
1:07
Speaker 1: and I thought you too, were so bloody. You're not swans,
1:10
Speaker 1: more like newborn foles, just clunking around all over the joint,
1:14
Speaker 1: just trying to stand up straight and trying to.
1:16
Speaker 2: I don't know, I wouldn't. I feel like that's not accurate.
1:20
Speaker 2: So I'm going to defend there, like.
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Speaker 1: I'm pretty cool.
1:25
Speaker 2: You are personality trait version of not graceful coordinate.
1:30
Speaker 1: Yeah, well also tif, Tif's pretty fucking coordinated and she
1:33
Speaker 1: could punch my lights out, so I better attract that.
1:36
Speaker 1: What do you have? I mean, we know she's a
1:39
Speaker 1: boxer and quite just an all round good athlete. Are
1:42
Speaker 1: you were you particularly good at anything or genetically or
1:48
Speaker 1: athletically predisposed to a sport or a particular event when
1:54
Speaker 1: you are not that year old now are You're still young?
1:56
Speaker 2: But when you were younger, I was a huge fan
2:00
Speaker 2: of netball and that was my safe place because I
2:05
Speaker 2: felt good at it and I got a pat on
2:07
Speaker 2: the back. But the older I get, the more I'm like,
2:12
Speaker 2: was it just that I really really really liked it?
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Speaker 2: Or was I okay at it? And I will never
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Speaker 2: know because maybe the crowning moment to know I was
2:24
Speaker 2: good at it was when i'd moved to Geelong. We
2:27
Speaker 2: left the country, sorry, left country town, Australia and moved
2:33
Speaker 2: to Geelong, not left the country. And there was a
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Speaker 2: competition to try out to be part of one of
2:41
Speaker 2: the above amateur geelong netball teams and the night before
2:48
Speaker 2: because I just couldn't get enough of Neddie, like just
2:53
Speaker 2: any time when I could get it, I got it,
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Speaker 2: and someone asked me to fill in the night before
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Speaker 2: in a competition, some blazing around the court doing my thing.
3:02
Speaker 2: Goldfence was my favorite team. You cannot get any better
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Speaker 2: than the feeling of an interception, like the timing's perfect.
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Speaker 1: I think you mean favorite position you said favorite team?
3:13
Speaker 2: Oh, excuse me, thank you did I thanks Craig, favorite position,
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Speaker 2: gold Fence and just oh, I can feel it now,
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Speaker 2: like when you time it just right and you snatch
3:26
Speaker 2: that ball away and you're the absolute hero of the
3:29
Speaker 2: other end of the court. Anyway, it was a moment
3:33
Speaker 2: like that, and some other player's foot came in under
3:37
Speaker 2: where my foot was landing, and I absolutely chaoed my ankle.
3:42
Speaker 2: It It went was like a prawn cracker from a
3:46
Speaker 2: tiny little prawn to wow wow within seconds. And I
3:51
Speaker 2: don't know if there was any crunching or cracking because
3:54
Speaker 2: I'd done that ankle before and that it passed, and yeah,
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Speaker 2: it wasn't the best.
4:00
Speaker 1: How old were you at this particular stage of your
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Speaker 1: athletic career.
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Speaker 2: I moved too long a year ten, so I would
4:07
Speaker 2: have been like just sixteen. So I'm one of those
4:11
Speaker 2: younger I started school young, and yeah, I can still
4:16
Speaker 2: remember sitting on the wheelchair with my leg out and
4:20
Speaker 2: that was the point where whereby my life went, Okay,
4:24
Speaker 2: I can't go back there. I've got to go now,
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Speaker 2: I go after UNI or whatever else. I really can't.
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Speaker 1: Oh bugger, We'll never know.
4:31
Speaker 2: I will never know. But I was at least, you know,
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Speaker 2: the fact that I got the invitation. Maybe I was
4:38
Speaker 2: good enough. I hang my hat on that.
4:40
Speaker 1: But I have a similar I have a similar story.
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Speaker 1: But I did make it to the tryouts, and I
4:46
Speaker 1: didn't make it, but I was, you know, has been
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Speaker 1: well advertised on this show, genetically and athletically and sportingly
4:55
Speaker 1: not super gifted. There's a shock. So I did train
5:01
Speaker 1: like a motherfucker like I did like at fourteen. I
5:04
Speaker 1: was training like I was doing strength. I was stretching,
5:07
Speaker 1: I was running, I was doing interval like I was training.
5:10
Speaker 1: I didn't exactly know what I was doing, but I
5:13
Speaker 1: was training away from the training. So when the other
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Speaker 1: kids would do Monday night Tuesday Night footy and play
5:18
Speaker 1: on the weekend, like training and then play on the weekend.
5:21
Speaker 1: I would train pretty much every other day all the time,
5:25
Speaker 1: for a range of unhealthy reasons, right, but it got
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Speaker 1: me very very very fit and pretty fast and reasonably skillful.
5:35
Speaker 1: So I took my very mediocre baseline talent and genetics
5:39
Speaker 1: and kind of tweaked them as much as I could
5:42
Speaker 1: with the amount of expertise I didn't have. And yeah,
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Speaker 1: and so I think we had about thirty or forty
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Speaker 1: players in our team, obviously not that many on the field,
5:53
Speaker 1: but and they picked four to go and try out
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Speaker 1: for what was called the interleague team, where they picked
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Speaker 1: the best players from all the teams in the comp
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Speaker 1: And I did all right, And I think I made
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Speaker 1: the first cut and the second cup, but not the
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Speaker 1: final cut. And so I was but I was well
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Speaker 1: aware of how good I wasn't so I was kind
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Speaker 1: of pretty happy with that I went because I went
6:20
Speaker 1: from being the fat kid who never even got a
6:23
Speaker 1: game too, through nothing but just focus and commitment and
6:28
Speaker 1: a little bit of resilience. So it's good what we
6:32
Speaker 1: can do when we optimize. We've got to work with
6:35
Speaker 1: what we've got to work with. Speaking of that, let's
6:38
Speaker 1: talk about grown ups. Let's talk about grown ups. I
6:42
Speaker 1: want to talk about a few things today. Just remind
6:46
Speaker 1: people who are or just either remind listeners who've met
6:51
Speaker 1: you but can't remember exactly what you do, or new
6:53
Speaker 1: people because new people will hear you today. Give us
6:56
Speaker 1: the quick snapshot of your job, your quals, and kind
7:03
Speaker 1: of what you do in this space.
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Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, I'm a changeologist. I help people make change.
7:12
Speaker 2: So we all have these tricky transitions in life where
7:15
Speaker 2: we're either aiming to make change or there's an itch
7:19
Speaker 2: that some change needs to happen and we're just not
7:22
Speaker 2: sure what levers to pull, so I help figure them out.
7:26
Speaker 2: And then there's transitions where we go, okay, this I'm
7:30
Speaker 2: redundant or I'm being put into a new role, and
7:34
Speaker 2: we start to get this weird human experience where we
7:36
Speaker 2: doubt ourselves all of a sudden because we've defined ourselves
7:39
Speaker 2: by what we did for fifteen years, and then who
7:42
Speaker 2: am I when I'm looking for something new? So I
7:46
Speaker 2: help people define that space and get rid of old
7:49
Speaker 2: habits and patterns that are serving us anymore. And that's
7:54
Speaker 2: done in a couple of ways. It's well on a movement,
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Speaker 2: the name of my business is a movement is part
8:01
Speaker 2: of it because I'm an exercise physiologist, But the movement
8:04
Speaker 2: part of it is more a collective or mindset movement
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Speaker 2: that we need to have a really good understanding of
8:11
Speaker 2: who we are and how we get in our own
8:13
Speaker 2: way before our health can come on board. So in
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Speaker 2: three we can do that with exercise to some degree.
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Speaker 2: But it's not an amazing tool, and it's not a
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Speaker 2: tool that many adults commit to for long enough time
8:28
Speaker 2: to really test or stretch their capacity.
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Speaker 1: So could you just say that, did you the exercise
8:34
Speaker 1: physiologists say that exercise is not an amazing tool.
8:38
Speaker 2: It's not an amazing tool for humans because humans tend
8:44
Speaker 2: to getting first argument, No, no, I need to clarified.
8:52
Speaker 1: It better be good, be good.
8:54
Speaker 2: It's a we're going to swear we're going to get
8:56
Speaker 2: into it's a fucking fantastic tool. But what happens is
8:59
Speaker 2: human get in their own way. So we can go okay, yeap's.
9:04
Speaker 1: But that's not saying exercise is not a good tool.
9:07
Speaker 1: That's saying the mind gets in the way of what
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Speaker 1: the exercise can do. That's a different thing.
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Speaker 2: Correct a mondo. So if we read structure the sentence.
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Speaker 2: Exercise is not always the best tool for people to
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Speaker 2: understand themselves well, and people often avoid the magic parts
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Speaker 2: of exercise where all the good stuff happens, where we
9:29
Speaker 2: commit to feeling a bit of discomfort, or commit to
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Speaker 2: doing a version of exercise that's better for our nervous
9:35
Speaker 2: system at this point in time, or our ego goes no.
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Speaker 2: I used to be the best netball or the best winner,
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Speaker 2: and now I can't do anything where I wouldn't win
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Speaker 2: or I would be the beginner. So exercise doesn't teach
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Speaker 2: us that. In exercise, we absolutely stretch and create capacity
9:54
Speaker 2: in our will and I can do hard things, and
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Speaker 2: we within that process we make our brains stronger, and
10:03
Speaker 2: we do all these things at health performance in the
10:05
Speaker 2: long run. But I think the challenge is that most
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Speaker 2: people don't actually engage, or a not of us, not
10:12
Speaker 2: enough of us engage in exercise in the way that
10:14
Speaker 2: would create that. And what we have to generally do
10:19
Speaker 2: first is get out of our own way. And usually
10:22
Speaker 2: what happens in a six or eight week period of
10:26
Speaker 2: working with someone is we get behind the reasons we
10:29
Speaker 2: make decisions, and then we haven't actually talked about putting
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Speaker 2: exercise in yet, and people often just come back and go, hey,
10:37
Speaker 2: I just went to an exercise class last night for
10:40
Speaker 2: the first time because I felt like that's what I
10:43
Speaker 2: wanted to do now. Because you just we create more
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Speaker 2: time capacity, We create more capacity to get out of
10:50
Speaker 2: our own way and our own narratives and stories, and
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Speaker 2: we make more room to make health decisions outside of
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Speaker 2: fitness decisions.
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Speaker 1: It's a little bit that's very interesting, and we avoided
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Speaker 1: our first fight. Fuck, thank goodness. It's interesting because it's
11:08
Speaker 1: a little bit the chicken and the egg. Because I
11:12
Speaker 1: often say to people, I don't care if you don't
11:14
Speaker 1: want to do it, I don't care. Just start, Like,
11:17
Speaker 1: do you want to be fit, a healthier lena, stronger,
11:20
Speaker 1: more functional, better bone density? Yes, I want all of that. Cool, Well,
11:25
Speaker 1: just start and even if you don't like it or
11:27
Speaker 1: enjoy it, or you'll have a mind shift. So like,
11:32
Speaker 1: it's amazing how much people's attitude and thinking and outlook
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Speaker 1: an emotional state and level of optimism changes once they've
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Speaker 1: got six, eight, ten weeks of something constructive and consistent
11:46
Speaker 1: under their belt. So I don't think it's one or
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Speaker 1: the other. I think it's probably and also, as you
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Speaker 1: and I both know it, different approach is going to
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Speaker 1: work for different people, isn't it. It's like some people
12:01
Speaker 1: just dive the fuck in, but for some people, some
12:04
Speaker 1: other people, it might be maybe go away and figure
12:07
Speaker 1: psychological and emotional stuff out a little bit, and then
12:10
Speaker 1: maybe when you genuinely are ready to do the work
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Speaker 1: and roll up your sleeves, then come back. But it's
12:14
Speaker 1: probably not a three step plan for anyone.
12:18
Speaker 2: Right, yeah, and I completely agree. Some of the best
12:23
Speaker 2: starts to building something good with someone is where they go, oh, yep,
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Speaker 2: I want this is what I want. I want an
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Speaker 2: exercise program, and you're come in and you do the
12:32
Speaker 2: logical exercise physiologist thing and you go, okay, we've got
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Speaker 2: to get ABCD in line. Here's the exercises you'll do.
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Speaker 2: This is the best amount to do. Go off and
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Speaker 2: do that, and you see them in a fortnight and
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Speaker 2: they haven't done it. So that's where the fun part
12:46
Speaker 2: where you get to go. So what got in the way?
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Speaker 2: So a good example, and to your point, right, maybe
12:54
Speaker 2: nutrition is the first point. Maybe that's the block that's
12:57
Speaker 2: blocking our access to you know, there's lots of windows
13:02
Speaker 2: to look through, but The one that pops up for
13:06
Speaker 2: me that might be helpful for people is working with
13:10
Speaker 2: someone the other day and they had engaged in going
13:15
Speaker 2: to the gym fantastic and the leave it that they
13:17
Speaker 2: needed to pull. We're looking to have fun and take
13:20
Speaker 2: the perfectionism away. So part of that was that they
13:23
Speaker 2: were going with a friend so that they could keep
13:25
Speaker 2: the friendly, the playfulness about it, all that kind of thing.
13:28
Speaker 2: So they're cruising off to go to the gym and
13:31
Speaker 2: they're meant to be meeting up with this person and
13:34
Speaker 2: they get a text last minute that their training partner
13:37
Speaker 2: can't arrive, and they were out of the car on
13:41
Speaker 2: foot about to walk in the door, got the text,
13:45
Speaker 2: turn around and didn't go in. So that was the
13:49
Speaker 2: perfect session for us to peel away. Why did you
13:53
Speaker 2: choose that you didn't belong in the gym at that
13:57
Speaker 2: moment without that safety blanket. Why did you choose to
14:01
Speaker 2: abandon your goal of what you need physically, mentally, emotionally
14:06
Speaker 2: in ten years time. Why did you take away that
14:10
Speaker 2: little moment to give yourself that So it was a
14:13
Speaker 2: wonderful deep dive, and now they've got skills so that
14:17
Speaker 2: when they're at the door and they're getting that whatever
14:21
Speaker 2: they feel that has them procrastinate in you know, in
14:26
Speaker 2: air quotes, because most of the time procrastination isn't a
14:30
Speaker 2: lack of idea or a lack of capacity. It's to me,
14:33
Speaker 2: it's a narrative that's boiling up that you just haven't
14:37
Speaker 2: figured out how it's presenting, and that feeling that you go,
14:43
Speaker 2: I felt this before and it's uncomfortable and I don't
14:45
Speaker 2: want to deal with it.
14:47
Speaker 1: I think it's I think it's just fear. It's like
14:51
Speaker 1: it's people get and they go, oh fuck, Anna's not coming.
14:55
Speaker 1: I'm not going in, Like at some stage it's just
14:58
Speaker 1: got to be some fear or some desire to stay
15:03
Speaker 1: comfortable or not to go into uncertainty, or not to
15:07
Speaker 1: go into unfamiliarity, or not to go into this environment
15:11
Speaker 1: where clearly everyone will stare at me because I'm the unfittest,
15:15
Speaker 1: unhealthiest person they've ever seen. And you know, it's all
15:19
Speaker 1: that's just fear based bullshit. It's understandable, but really, do
15:25
Speaker 1: we need do we need to be holding people's hands
15:29
Speaker 1: so much to get them to walk in? Like can
15:33
Speaker 1: we not just go, hey, you're a fucking adult, walk
15:36
Speaker 1: in it's okay. You'll be uncomfortable. A couple of people
15:39
Speaker 1: might look at you, Probably not in truth, nobody get
15:41
Speaker 1: everyone thinks right, I've had this so much that and
15:44
Speaker 1: this is a bloke who spent his life in gyms.
15:47
Speaker 1: People who don't go to gym's think that when they
15:49
Speaker 1: go to the gym, everyone's gonna stare at them. I'm like,
15:53
Speaker 1: you are not that fucking special, and everyone in the
15:56
Speaker 1: gym is pretty much looking at themselves, looking at their
15:58
Speaker 1: phone more and more these or thinking about themselves. So
16:03
Speaker 1: just go the fuck in, get through, and if you
16:05
Speaker 1: feel uncomfortable, that's fine. Guess what life's uncomfortable like when
16:11
Speaker 1: we have to be given therapy to people about just
16:15
Speaker 1: fucking turning around at the gym door. I'm like, what
16:18
Speaker 1: how much resilience don't we have?
16:22
Speaker 2: I think that is coming from us. So there's two
16:25
Speaker 2: things on my mind. One I would bop off and go.
16:28
Speaker 2: The same scenario comes with people when they go I'm
16:31
Speaker 2: going to walk in the boss's door and ask for
16:33
Speaker 2: a raise. That's the same to me. It's what value
16:37
Speaker 2: am I giving? So it's not just a gym scenario.
16:40
Speaker 2: It's making that change and what have I got to
16:44
Speaker 2: deal with that. I need some tools to do but
16:48
Speaker 2: to get over that line. But I think the bigger
16:52
Speaker 2: thing there is that people are operating at a capacity
16:57
Speaker 2: where they actually just don't I don't know how much
17:01
Speaker 2: shit they've got on their plate and if they had
17:03
Speaker 2: room for it. So we're from a nervous system point
17:06
Speaker 2: of view, we'd call this the window of tolerance. And
17:09
Speaker 2: when we've got so much on our plate, from a
17:12
Speaker 2: nervous system point of view, I've got this stacked up,
17:15
Speaker 2: this stacked up, this stacked up, and we don't give
17:19
Speaker 2: ourself enough space to go, oh, I'm actually processing thoughts
17:23
Speaker 2: that aren't helpful for me at the moment, or of
17:28
Speaker 2: taking my feelings really seriously. And it's more about I'm
17:32
Speaker 2: sensing a feeling, not that that feeling is correct or helpful.
17:36
Speaker 2: That we're so bombarded that we can't make those distinctions.
17:41
Speaker 2: So we kind of get bossed around by our internal
17:44
Speaker 2: dialogue and our sense of our body, and then before
17:49
Speaker 2: we know it, we've turned around and we're back in
17:51
Speaker 2: the car, before we've even done a gym session or
17:55
Speaker 2: given ourselves that chance to knock on the boss's door like.
17:59
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I know what he's saying, and it is true.
18:04
Speaker 1: And I'm not trying to be insensitive to people who
18:06
Speaker 1: have a legit fear of things like that, recognize that.
18:10
Speaker 1: But I also think there are so many people in
18:13
Speaker 1: the world right now, in the world. I don't mean
18:16
Speaker 1: in Australia, I mean around the world, living in horrible
18:19
Speaker 1: fucking situations, who every day have to deal with harder
18:23
Speaker 1: things than most of us will deal with once in
18:26
Speaker 1: a year, and every day that like they don't have
18:30
Speaker 1: time for a breakdown, they don't have time to turn
18:33
Speaker 1: around and walk the other way, like they just find
18:35
Speaker 1: a way. Now, I'm not saying where we can shit,
18:38
Speaker 1: we're not. We're all human. But I just wonder if
18:43
Speaker 1: you know, like when you don't for example, if there
18:46
Speaker 1: was no option but to walk in the gym, that
18:48
Speaker 1: person will just walk in the gym. But they have
18:51
Speaker 1: an option. Ah, I'm not gonna nah, I'll come back.
18:57
Speaker 1: And when you were always giving yourself a get out
19:00
Speaker 1: out a jail card, it's like people say to me, oh,
19:03
Speaker 1: I just can't do whatever fill in the blank. Now
19:06
Speaker 1: we're talking about something that is actually quite possible. Well,
19:09
Speaker 1: the truth is you can, and the other truth is
19:12
Speaker 1: you won't though. There's a big difference between I can't
19:15
Speaker 1: and I won't, right like, and I'm not saying you should.
19:19
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, let's be clear about what is true.
19:23
Speaker 1: You actually can walk ten thousand steps a day. You
19:27
Speaker 1: can because you're not injured, you're not morbidly obese, you're
19:31
Speaker 1: not you know, you're not a weirdo. It's like, you can,
19:34
Speaker 1: but you won't. And I'm just using that as a
19:37
Speaker 1: practical example. We're so preoccupied with finding reasons to fail
19:42
Speaker 1: and excuses to avoid things, but we're not solution focused.
19:48
Speaker 1: And I feel like we're molly coddling everybody who you know,
19:54
Speaker 1: Oh god, I don't know. I know I sound harsh,
19:57
Speaker 1: but I'm like, fuck, what has to happen. It's like,
20:00
Speaker 1: when you've really really got like terribly horrible, real hardshit
20:05
Speaker 1: going on, what happens then if we can't deal with
20:08
Speaker 1: the day to day stuff, Am I being insensitive? No?
20:12
Speaker 2: I don't think you're being insensitive. But there's little truths
20:15
Speaker 2: within there where it's like, Okay, we're looking through another
20:21
Speaker 2: angle in door, and you know, maybe I think there
20:24
Speaker 2: is time for moments when you go there's a famous
20:29
Speaker 2: quote and I think as Goggins or something like that,
20:32
Speaker 2: and he just says bucket feelings. And I think there
20:35
Speaker 2: is time for that where you are sitting in a
20:38
Speaker 2: decision made like you're stuck. But I think the challenge
20:42
Speaker 2: is that our operating system, i e. Our brain, which
20:46
Speaker 2: we never got given a manual for, is actually preoccupied
20:52
Speaker 2: with making sure that we're safe. And for some people,
20:56
Speaker 2: they don't even they're not even aware or conscious that
20:59
Speaker 2: they're making these decisions. And then you add up a
21:02
Speaker 2: couple of years and I still haven't asked for that raise,
21:06
Speaker 2: or we still haven't gone for that holiday, or because
21:09
Speaker 2: I've committed over committed myself to things. So it's but
21:15
Speaker 2: I get that, but I think we also need to
21:18
Speaker 2: be sensitive to the idea that the broken leg is
21:21
Speaker 2: visible and it's obvious to us. The challenge of internal
21:26
Speaker 2: mind crutches is harder for even us to forgive ourselves
21:31
Speaker 2: and then go on. So we end up in these
21:34
Speaker 2: loops that feel more cognitively comfortable, and then that's how
21:40
Speaker 2: we abandon our health. And again it's you know, not
21:45
Speaker 2: everyone needs it, but I think for those that we
21:48
Speaker 2: can hold that space for, we then create big capacity
21:52
Speaker 2: for them to go, oh shit, I've I've got way
21:56
Speaker 2: more in me. I've got way more. And I think
21:59
Speaker 2: that's why I sometimes exercise doesn't work. First. Yeah, sometimes
22:04
Speaker 2: for people because they can't even get in the door.
22:08
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I get that, I think. Okay, so let's
22:13
Speaker 1: go back to feelings. So there's feelings and there's facts,
22:16
Speaker 1: and sometimes feeling is a fact, but generally not. You know,
22:19
Speaker 1: I'm useless, I'm unlovable, I'm this, I'm that. Those feelings
22:24
Speaker 1: for you might be real, but they're not truthful like
22:28
Speaker 1: they might. You might genuinely feel that, but does anyone
22:32
Speaker 1: in the world love you? Oh yeah, okay, so you're
22:35
Speaker 1: not unlovable. Have you ever lost weight before? Yes? Well,
22:39
Speaker 1: all right, well you can lose weight. Have you ever
22:41
Speaker 1: done anything clever or yeah? Well then you're not an idiot? Right,
22:45
Speaker 1: And I think and it's it's difficult because it's we
22:50
Speaker 1: need different things for different people, of course, but everyone
22:55
Speaker 1: wants to be resilient. Nobody wants to be weaker, nobody
22:59
Speaker 1: wants to be less functional, nobody wants to be less healthy,
23:03
Speaker 1: nobody wants to be physically weaker. So if you sit
23:06
Speaker 1: a hundred strangers in a room and say, listen, don't
23:09
Speaker 1: overthink this, but put up your hand. If you'd like
23:11
Speaker 1: to be more resilient, more mentally and emotionally capable than
23:14
Speaker 1: you are right now, I would think every hand would
23:17
Speaker 1: go up. I've done similar things, and typically every or
23:20
Speaker 1: nearly every hand goes up, and then cool. How do
23:23
Speaker 1: we build mental and emotional resilience? How do we become
23:26
Speaker 1: more capable of performing under pressure? Well, not by avoiding pressure,
23:31
Speaker 1: not by taking the wide path instead of the narrow path,
23:34
Speaker 1: not by choosing easy, not by turning around at the
23:38
Speaker 1: fucking gym door when you're dressed to go to the gym,
23:41
Speaker 1: and the gym's in front of you, and you remember,
23:44
Speaker 1: and then we go, oh, I understand, Like really, when
23:47
Speaker 1: do we go? Hey, I'm on your team, I'm all
23:51
Speaker 1: for you, but you're forty and it's not my job
23:55
Speaker 1: to tell you what you want to hear, or rub
23:57
Speaker 1: your back or make you feel okay. It's your job
24:01
Speaker 1: to be brave, to do new things, to try to
24:05
Speaker 1: improve and learn and grow if they are your goals.
24:07
Speaker 1: If not, then forget everything I'm saying. But like this
24:11
Speaker 1: thing that when you mollycoddle people five years down the track.
24:16
Speaker 1: It's not a good outcome, Like there's no they don't
24:19
Speaker 1: get magically better.
24:21
Speaker 2: I wouldn't call this molly coddling, though, because there's a
24:24
Speaker 2: difference between logic and psychologic. So everyone agrees with everything
24:31
Speaker 2: you just said. The thing that gets in the way
24:34
Speaker 2: is the psychology behind the decision. So the idea that
24:38
Speaker 2: I notice, I'm having a thought and it says it
24:41
Speaker 2: is at it as it is, versus having the capacity
24:46
Speaker 2: to go know that thought is not as it says
24:49
Speaker 2: it is right and that we're not absolute. So I
24:54
Speaker 2: would you know, you'd go okay, This was actually really funny.
24:57
Speaker 2: My son graduated from grade sixty other day and they
25:00
Speaker 2: asked them what do you want to be known for?
25:04
Speaker 2: Majority of them said they wanted to be known for
25:06
Speaker 2: being kind and we're being rough here because they're water
25:09
Speaker 2: they're twelve and eleven type thing. But I just sat
25:12
Speaker 2: back and thought, Wow, a lot of you little shits
25:16
Speaker 2: are actually really bullies. You've been problematic through the year,
25:21
Speaker 2: so what about you know I'm kind, Let's just be realistic.
25:26
Speaker 2: You're kinder than you were the other day. But when
25:30
Speaker 2: you've lost you know, we've pushed yourself. You haven't slept enough,
25:34
Speaker 2: you didn't go to the gym to clear your head,
25:36
Speaker 2: you haven't been eating right. Your kindness slides a little
25:40
Speaker 2: further back down, like you're not kind. Your variations have
25:45
Speaker 2: kind based on the choices that you make. So when
25:48
Speaker 2: you go, okay, when you flip exercise, I'm not doing
25:52
Speaker 2: exercise just to be an exerciser, and that's how I
25:55
Speaker 2: get healthy. When you flip and you go. If I
25:59
Speaker 2: don't exit size, my capacity to be kind and how
26:03
Speaker 2: I want to operate in this world goes down. Then
26:08
Speaker 2: is that an easier way to walk through the gym.
26:11
Speaker 2: I'm not doing it for my body or the fear
26:13
Speaker 2: of what other people think, and my judgments of them
26:16
Speaker 2: are also my judgments of myself. It's like, hey, I'm
26:20
Speaker 2: walking into the gym to work on my capacity to
26:23
Speaker 2: be available and kind because I know if I don't,
26:26
Speaker 2: I slide down the scale of kindness. So we think
26:30
Speaker 2: of ourselves in absolutes. I am and it's ah, I'm
26:35
Speaker 2: having the thought that I am. I notice I'm having
26:38
Speaker 2: the thought that I am kind, But I was actually
26:42
Speaker 2: a bit rude to the supermarket checkout person. Then, because
26:49
Speaker 2: I'm in my thoughts.
26:52
Speaker 1: I think, yeah, I'm all for radical self awareness and honesty.
26:58
Speaker 1: And you know, I'm very flawed. I talk about my
27:01
Speaker 1: flaws all the time, but I try hard. I've fucked
27:04
Speaker 1: up more things than I've got right, and that's okay.
27:08
Speaker 1: And I'm not trying to deny people their feelings or
27:11
Speaker 1: their fears. I'm like, yeah, I completely understand, and you
27:15
Speaker 1: have my support. But when you are controlled by your
27:19
Speaker 1: feelings and your fears, that doesn't work out well over
27:22
Speaker 1: the long time, long term. And so you can be
27:26
Speaker 1: fucking terrified and also courageous. That's a choice. So how
27:32
Speaker 1: do I be brave? And being brave is for some people,
27:36
Speaker 1: being brave is running into a burning building. For some
27:39
Speaker 1: other people, it's looking someone in the face and having
27:41
Speaker 1: a conversation, and it will promote the same fear response
27:47
Speaker 1: in each person. So it's not a generic global thing.
27:50
Speaker 1: It's an individual thing. But yeah, I think just that
27:54
Speaker 1: and that I want to be kind really. I mean,
27:58
Speaker 1: that's what people say when they've got to say something publicly,
28:01
Speaker 1: Like it's like, what's the right thing for me to say?
28:05
Speaker 1: You know? What's really the brave thing is to say, look,
28:07
Speaker 1: I'm pretty fucked up sometimes I've done good stuff and
28:11
Speaker 1: bad stuff. I'm a work in progress. I'm pretty flawed,
28:15
Speaker 1: but I'm trying. You know, that's more real. I mean,
28:19
Speaker 1: that's like, well, that's all of us. Like, let's not
28:22
Speaker 1: pretend that your overarching goal in life is kindness. Sounds beautiful,
28:28
Speaker 1: but it's just not fucking true because all I've got
28:30
Speaker 1: to do is stand back and look at you and
28:32
Speaker 1: what's your behavior. There's very little kindness going on.
28:37
Speaker 2: That's it. So I think you start we're wrapping it
28:40
Speaker 2: into a nicer little bow. Is that the skill that
28:44
Speaker 2: we're helping people develop from this angle is the skill
28:49
Speaker 2: of not taking their feelings seriously. So it's the concept
28:57
Speaker 2: of workability. So I'm having a feeling, but how helpful
29:00
Speaker 2: is that feeling to get me to where I want
29:02
Speaker 2: to be? So it's not that we're tending to everyone's feelings,
29:06
Speaker 2: but we're allowing them to have a skill which allows
29:10
Speaker 2: them to see mindfully as they are. Thoughts and feelings
29:14
Speaker 2: are not always true and helpful. And that the control
29:18
Speaker 2: agenda that I can control all my feelings, i e.
29:22
Speaker 2: I have to feel good about walking into the gym
29:26
Speaker 2: is an illusion. So there's the paradigm shift. I can
29:30
Speaker 2: still walk into the gym and be feeling nervous and
29:35
Speaker 2: judged at the same time. Right, it's not that we're
29:41
Speaker 2: sitting on the couch and going that, you know, that's
29:44
Speaker 2: the paradigm shift. It's that not all thought, thoughts, and
29:49
Speaker 2: feelings aren't good or bad. It's how I operate around
29:54
Speaker 2: them that is defining my health and the path and
29:56
Speaker 2: the potential that I take. And then we're just looking
30:00
Speaker 2: for patterns that pops up. It's the same thing, but
30:05
Speaker 2: it pops up in seven of my relationships or five
30:09
Speaker 2: of my environments, and I say I want X, y Z,
30:13
Speaker 2: but I end up operating in a way that completely
30:17
Speaker 2: ham strings hamstrung. Is that the phrase I hand.
30:20
Speaker 1: Ham strings ham hamstrings, ye strings myself.
30:25
Speaker 2: So it's I can see where the language gets tricky,
30:28
Speaker 2: where that confirmation bias comes in of going, oh, but
30:33
Speaker 2: I like, come on, people have got a lift. It's
30:37
Speaker 2: just another way of getting people to lift. It's like, okay, yep,
30:42
Speaker 2: that was a thing, and that triggers this. But then
30:45
Speaker 2: before you know it, you're in an argument, and then
30:47
Speaker 2: you've taken on a role at work that you don't
30:50
Speaker 2: need to and now, all of a sudden, you're working
30:53
Speaker 2: till six and that was the time you were meant
30:55
Speaker 2: to be at the gym, and you've got no problem
30:58
Speaker 2: walking walking into the gym. But we've responded to a
31:01
Speaker 2: thought or a feeling in a way that then has
31:04
Speaker 2: increased our workload on our nervous system or our literal workload.
31:09
Speaker 2: And we're working by a lamp when we should be
31:11
Speaker 2: at home with our family. So it's how we're responding
31:15
Speaker 2: to them, and how do they flow into how much
31:18
Speaker 2: energy I've got left in the day to look after
31:21
Speaker 2: myself and how effective have I been doing the things
31:24
Speaker 2: that I'm meant to be doing all day?
31:27
Speaker 1: Yeah? Good, good, like good self awareness stuff. I think
31:32
Speaker 1: also thinking about. So you do some corporate speaking now,
31:37
Speaker 1: and I've been helping you, coaching you, mentoring you in
31:41
Speaker 1: bits and pieces over the years, and you know, I
31:45
Speaker 1: can't say, but I'm sure the first time you ever
31:48
Speaker 1: did a gig, the level of anxiety and nerves and
31:51
Speaker 1: confidence and whatever lack of confidence was, whatever it was,
31:56
Speaker 1: and then the second time different, and then now you've
31:58
Speaker 1: done quite a bit and doing more. I'm sure now
32:02
Speaker 1: that when you step up in front of a group
32:05
Speaker 1: that even though you're doing the same thing, you're talking
32:08
Speaker 1: to a room full of people, same person doing the
32:11
Speaker 1: same thing essentially, which is talking about stuff to a
32:13
Speaker 1: group of people that are listening to you talk about stuff,
32:17
Speaker 1: the experience is quite different, not because it's a radically
32:20
Speaker 1: different situation, but because your relationship, the way that you
32:25
Speaker 1: think about that, your feelings about that, your paradigm with that,
32:31
Speaker 1: you and that have shifted, right, And so it's the
32:34
Speaker 1: same with as you said, with you know, the first
32:38
Speaker 1: time someone goes to the gym, maybe they're terrified. And
32:40
Speaker 1: I'm not saying, hey, don't be terrified. I'm saying, I
32:43
Speaker 1: understand it. I understand it, and I get that it's scary,
32:46
Speaker 1: and I get that to you. This is for me,
32:49
Speaker 1: it's very familiar and comfortable, but I understand it's the
32:51
Speaker 1: opposite for you. And I'm not saying be more like me.
32:54
Speaker 1: I'm saying, be exactly you, but come in anyway, because
32:58
Speaker 1: you need to get in shape, because we spoke about that.
33:01
Speaker 1: And then the second time it's less terrifying, and the
33:04
Speaker 1: tenth time it's it's a two out of ten, not
33:06
Speaker 1: a nine. And the twentieth time you're fucking excited because
33:10
Speaker 1: you met three people the bloke who owns the joint
33:12
Speaker 1: or the lady who owns the joints great, and you
33:15
Speaker 1: know what the machines are called, and you've got a
33:17
Speaker 1: bit of muscle, and you're a bit fitter and your
33:19
Speaker 1: heart rates dropped and bibbitdy bobby boo. Same person in
33:22
Speaker 1: the same environment, completely different experience because they did the
33:26
Speaker 1: brave thing up front.
33:28
Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess that's where the irony for me works.
33:31
Speaker 2: Back to the start of our conversation is at the
33:35
Speaker 2: end of that, you've got a brain that's way more
33:38
Speaker 2: balanced in neurochemicals, way more available to make healthy decisions.
33:44
Speaker 2: That's the brain you needed to make the decision in
33:46
Speaker 2: the first place. So the avenue that I come from
33:49
Speaker 2: is some people are able to get through the door
33:52
Speaker 2: and get that happening and then start working on these
33:55
Speaker 2: other things at that point versus sometimes we've got to
33:58
Speaker 2: come in from the other or and go, Okay, you've
34:01
Speaker 2: got a relationship with perfectionism that means that you never
34:05
Speaker 2: actually take the loop to manage your nervous system at
34:09
Speaker 2: work in a way that allows you to even get
34:11
Speaker 2: in the door because you've used all your time at work,
34:14
Speaker 2: or your energy at work, and you've got fatigue that
34:17
Speaker 2: you know is apparently unanswerable for anything. No, it's because
34:23
Speaker 2: you're at work with your gearbox in neutral, reving the
34:27
Speaker 2: crap out of your nervous system car and running out
34:31
Speaker 2: of fuel while we're getting nowhere. So that's what I love.
34:35
Speaker 2: We can come in from and create change at a
34:39
Speaker 2: brain and nervous system level from exercise. We can do
34:44
Speaker 2: it from a mindset point of view, or you can
34:46
Speaker 2: mix the two together, but ultimately, for me it ends
34:50
Speaker 2: up being one or the other. Door it presents itself
34:53
Speaker 2: through your behavior and then we figure out which way
34:57
Speaker 2: to go with it. But it's yeah, it's an interesting
35:03
Speaker 2: space to be in where people are willing to care
35:07
Speaker 2: for themselves. I think, ultimately is the perch that I
35:10
Speaker 2: sit on. It's just sometimes we get stuck on how
35:12
Speaker 2: to do it.
35:14
Speaker 1: I think. I love that. I think another really good
35:20
Speaker 1: individual project for us all to do is to get
35:26
Speaker 1: curious around our own mind, Get curious around our own thoughts,
35:32
Speaker 1: get curious around our feelings and our responses and our reactions.
35:37
Speaker 1: I was talking to someone the other day who's quite successful,
35:41
Speaker 1: and I was standing out the front of the Hampton's
35:44
Speaker 1: down the road. I know them reasonably well, not super well.
35:50
Speaker 1: I've met them ten times, so they know me. I
35:53
Speaker 1: know them, but we're not best mates. Anyways, talking to
35:57
Speaker 1: them and I found he's a fuckingbarrassing. They said something
36:02
Speaker 1: and then I said something which could have been almost
36:05
Speaker 1: interpreted as you know, I caught a fish this big,
36:09
Speaker 1: And then I went, I caught a fish this big, right,
36:12
Speaker 1: It was a little bit of that, and as it
36:15
Speaker 1: was coming out of my mouth, I kind of laughed
36:17
Speaker 1: at myself and I said to him, that's embarrassing. I
36:22
Speaker 1: think I just tried to impress you, and he laughed.
36:25
Speaker 1: I said, that's called self awareness, you know. And it's
36:28
Speaker 1: so funny because you know, I still do stupid shit
36:32
Speaker 1: where I'm insecure around some people and I want some
36:35
Speaker 1: people's approval and I want I want to you know,
36:38
Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh, but just in that moment and anyway,
36:42
Speaker 1: we chatted. Then I walked home and as I was
36:45
Speaker 1: walking home, I was thinking, not in a self loathing way,
36:49
Speaker 1: just in a curious way. I'm like, why did I
36:51
Speaker 1: just do that? I almost never do that. I almost like,
36:56
Speaker 1: I rarely try to be impressive, because I think trying
37:01
Speaker 1: to be impressive creates the opposite result. Firstly, it's not
37:05
Speaker 1: a good idea, but then I went, oh, yeah, and
37:08
Speaker 1: it's just that I encourage people to think about how
37:12
Speaker 1: they think. You know, that metacognitive deep dive on what's
37:15
Speaker 1: going on in my mind with curiosity, not with judgment,
37:19
Speaker 1: but just what's going on in my mind? Why is
37:21
Speaker 1: that going on in what's going on in my nervous system,
37:24
Speaker 1: what's going on in my body? More broadly, speaking of that,
37:28
Speaker 1: I want you to explain to us in regular, normal speak,
37:33
Speaker 1: not bloody on a exercise physiologist, academic genius speak, what's happening.
37:40
Speaker 1: I know there are a multitude of things, and then
37:42
Speaker 1: I've got a couple of specific things I want to
37:44
Speaker 1: ask you about. So if you could do a few
37:46
Speaker 1: minutes on this, this would be great, or as long
37:48
Speaker 1: as you need to. But when we are stressed and
37:51
Speaker 1: or anxious, and they somewhat work together, what's happening in
37:56
Speaker 1: our body? What are some of the things that are
37:59
Speaker 1: happening in our body? And I know there's no three
38:02
Speaker 1: step fix, but talk to us around all that stuff.
38:06
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I know that you kind of have given
38:09
Speaker 2: people that update on you know, your heart rate goes
38:12
Speaker 2: up and all that kind of thing. So maybe where
38:14
Speaker 2: I can add some detail or some interest here is
38:17
Speaker 2: like when our nervous system, let's start with something just
38:22
Speaker 2: super interesting. So what triggers our nervous system isn't often
38:26
Speaker 2: within our own stories that we can grab the self
38:31
Speaker 2: awareness that you were just talking about. So little study.
38:34
Speaker 2: They took a little animal study, So if anyone's don't
38:38
Speaker 2: love that, skip ahead. Little mouse, and they gave it
38:42
Speaker 2: the smell of let's say, lavender. I don't know what
38:44
Speaker 2: the smell was, but they gave it the smell of lavender.
38:47
Speaker 2: And then after a while they associated the smell of
38:51
Speaker 2: lavender with a shock. So they stressed that little mouse's
38:56
Speaker 2: nervous system out.
38:58
Speaker 1: There are people jumping out of our trying to fucking
39:00
Speaker 1: cost me listeners.
39:02
Speaker 2: Sorry, sorry, oh it's yeah anyway, thank you mouse, thank you.
39:09
Speaker 2: So that mouse's nervous system in that moment is going
39:13
Speaker 2: through a couple of scenarios. Its breath rate would have
39:16
Speaker 2: gone up or its breath rate would have gone down.
39:19
Speaker 2: So I'm going to pause on that point and come
39:20
Speaker 2: back to it in a second. So then what they
39:23
Speaker 2: did was. They continue to train that mouse's nervous system
39:27
Speaker 2: with the smell being associated with the shock, and then
39:33
Speaker 2: that little mouse went off and had baby mice, and
39:37
Speaker 2: then with those baby mice, they tested the mice's nervous
39:41
Speaker 2: system so they would give it the smell of lavender,
39:46
Speaker 2: and the baby mice had the same nervous system response
39:50
Speaker 2: as the parent mouse getting a shock, but with no shock.
39:56
Speaker 1: So that's amazing.
39:57
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think this is where the complex city
40:00
Speaker 2: of sometimes where the story has to come first. Sometimes
40:04
Speaker 2: it's not our shit that we're carrying around in our
40:07
Speaker 2: genes that'sating our nervous systems.
40:10
Speaker 1: What do you call that? Again? What do you call it?
40:12
Speaker 1: There's a name for that. You know, when like something
40:15
Speaker 1: gets passed down genetically, like an experience or a trauma
40:19
Speaker 1: is a genetic I don't know, but there is yeah
40:23
Speaker 1: that where that generational trauma it's almost passed on genetically.
40:29
Speaker 2: Yeah, epigenetic coding and coming through into there. But there
40:33
Speaker 2: is another phrase. It's trans something transcription or.
40:37
Speaker 1: Something anyway, it doesn't matter, we know what it is.
40:40
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're we're on the path. So how that becomes
40:44
Speaker 2: interesting and maybe it'll add to your cruise ideas is
40:49
Speaker 2: that then our breathing becomes an interesting thing about that.
40:53
Speaker 2: So how we breathe, and as a huge collective, we're
40:57
Speaker 2: breathing faster and more shallow than we have before. When
41:01
Speaker 2: we exercise, we do that we breathe fast and shallow.
41:06
Speaker 2: We shouldn't be shallow, we should be deep. But no
41:08
Speaker 2: one gets taught that. We just kind of exercise. So
41:11
Speaker 2: some of the best Olympic athletes aren't very good breathers.
41:15
Speaker 2: So what ends up happening is at the time of
41:19
Speaker 2: making a memory, there are two pathways that our brain
41:23
Speaker 2: can do that that then informs our nervous system about
41:26
Speaker 2: how safe we feel. So one is if we're breathing
41:30
Speaker 2: too fast and we've not got enough oxygen on board,
41:35
Speaker 2: and the other one if we tend to maybe hold
41:37
Speaker 2: our breath, which is a strategy we do when we're
41:40
Speaker 2: in shock or we're preparing for something. So our CO
41:44
Speaker 2: two is going up. So there's two pathways in the
41:48
Speaker 2: brain that then lock in that experience as a code
41:52
Speaker 2: for don't do that again. It wasn't nice. So then
41:57
Speaker 2: we get these nervous system or these sensation or we've
42:01
Speaker 2: said before, the word interoception, this sensation that we get
42:05
Speaker 2: in our body from our nervous system about what's safe
42:08
Speaker 2: to do and what's not safe to do. So sometimes
42:12
Speaker 2: part of that walking in the gym is retraining our
42:15
Speaker 2: nervous system at a conscious or awar level that that
42:20
Speaker 2: thing isn't happening to me. It's just a sensation. So
42:26
Speaker 2: that here again, as you said, is it fact or
42:29
Speaker 2: is it just a sensation? And that part of this
42:32
Speaker 2: process is helping to detach the body from what we
42:37
Speaker 2: would call a predictive system. This has happened before, so
42:41
Speaker 2: my body is predicting it to happen again. So it
42:44
Speaker 2: follows that system until we get to break the cycle.
42:48
Speaker 2: So it's that wonderful phrase of I notice it as
42:53
Speaker 2: it is versus it's not as it's saying it is.
42:58
Speaker 2: So the fear might say I'm in danger versus you go, no,
43:03
Speaker 2: I'm just having a sensation and everything's okay. I'm going
43:06
Speaker 2: to keep pursuing my goal as I take this feeling
43:09
Speaker 2: with me, And as you said before, people can deal
43:12
Speaker 2: with that in different capacities. So that's where breath training
43:15
Speaker 2: can be a really powerful tool. But again with variations
43:20
Speaker 2: on you know what, trauma comes behind it or yeah,
43:24
Speaker 2: so an interesting quick story I can give you quick,
43:27
Speaker 2: quick quick as I had that pathway recently when my
43:31
Speaker 2: father passed away. It was a sudden, sudden that he
43:37
Speaker 2: was going to be passing. So I had to jump
43:39
Speaker 2: in the car and drive probably about an hour and
43:42
Speaker 2: a half, not fully knowing what was going on, not
43:45
Speaker 2: knowing how much time I had. So in that state,
43:48
Speaker 2: my sense of what my body is telling me while
43:51
Speaker 2: I tell you this story is that I was breathing
43:53
Speaker 2: fast and shallow, so not enough oxygen on board, so
43:56
Speaker 2: which locks in the lactaate system in my brain to
44:00
Speaker 2: use energy. So then that locked in a little pathway
44:05
Speaker 2: in terms of locking in memories in my brain. So
44:08
Speaker 2: then fast forward to when my father passed away, passed away,
44:11
Speaker 2: the next day he has Then I've gone back to
44:16
Speaker 2: do exercise. Eventually, you know, I went through appropriate grieving
44:20
Speaker 2: and eventually I felt like I wanted to use my
44:22
Speaker 2: body again. So then when I was exercising, the lac
44:27
Speaker 2: tape from my muscles was passing into my brain and
44:31
Speaker 2: unlocking the memories. So I would exercise and as soon
44:35
Speaker 2: as I got my heart rate up, I would burst
44:37
Speaker 2: into tears.
44:39
Speaker 1: Wow.
44:41
Speaker 2: Wow, So the lapstate was opening up these memories I
44:47
Speaker 2: wasn't yet ready to deal with.
44:49
Speaker 1: That is super interesting. This is slightly related, but I
44:55
Speaker 1: don't know. But a few years ago I went to Ireland.
44:59
Speaker 1: I've told this story on the show maybe twice over
45:03
Speaker 1: eight ten hundred episodes, so a quick third time maybe once.
45:07
Speaker 1: But I've never been to Ireland except this once. And
45:10
Speaker 1: my grandma was from Ireland, right. Her name was Molly Malone.
45:16
Speaker 1: Is there a more Irish name than that? And I
45:19
Speaker 1: never met her because she died giving birth to my mum.
45:24
Speaker 1: And anyway, when I went to and there was no
45:29
Speaker 1: I had no expectation. I was just going there to
45:31
Speaker 1: do some work. Actually, and I've been to lots of
45:34
Speaker 1: lots of countries. I was excited to go there, but
45:37
Speaker 1: I wasn't. There was no expectation of anything, particularly other
45:40
Speaker 1: than people say it's nice. It was weird because I
45:45
Speaker 1: felt like I had come home. I felt a real
45:51
Speaker 1: sense of familiarity with like and a knowing with Irish
45:55
Speaker 1: people with the Irish accent. I stayed most of my
45:59
Speaker 1: time in a country town called Tullamore. I don't know
46:03
Speaker 1: where my grandmother grew up, But bloody hell, it's like
46:07
Speaker 1: everything is so weirdly familiar and comfortable for me, like
46:13
Speaker 1: I could be here. Yeah, I don't know. And it's
46:16
Speaker 1: not that it wasn't like I didn't create it with
46:21
Speaker 1: my mind because I wasn't expecting it. I was just
46:23
Speaker 1: going to just like it's probably the twentieth country I've
46:26
Speaker 1: been to, right, so it was just another country. But
46:30
Speaker 1: I'm like, wow, have I been here? Did I used
46:33
Speaker 1: to live here? Is this? Why? Why are these people?
46:37
Speaker 1: Why do I feel like I'm one of these people?
46:40
Speaker 1: I don't sound like them and they don't sound like me,
46:43
Speaker 1: but you know, yeah, amazing, there's definitely something that gets
46:49
Speaker 1: handed down.
46:50
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's definitely so I think the science saying
46:54
Speaker 2: says currently that it's two generations before us and that
46:57
Speaker 2: wouldn't look at our nervous system even to our point
47:01
Speaker 2: today is that you know, fuck your feelings and how
47:04
Speaker 2: do you get past it? It's actually our senses that
47:07
Speaker 2: come milliseconds before our thoughts if we actually consciously process them,
47:13
Speaker 2: or the thing I see or the thing I feel
47:16
Speaker 2: that drives my decision. So that's where metacognition becomes way way,
47:20
Speaker 2: way more powerful because oh, what was the thing that
47:24
Speaker 2: happened just before? And it's not that I need to
47:27
Speaker 2: control it. I don't control agenda is not helpful because
47:32
Speaker 2: you know George Clooney's behind you. That can't stop you
47:36
Speaker 2: all the thoughts. It's then going, okay, I've got to
47:40
Speaker 2: have a relationship with the sensation that then turned the
47:44
Speaker 2: alarm down from a red to an orange, and maybe
47:47
Speaker 2: an orange to a green. And then I'm operating in
47:50
Speaker 2: a space where I can have air quote threats, but
47:53
Speaker 2: I'm still able to turn up, which is a bit
47:56
Speaker 2: like your analogy about public speaking. Mine was about getting
48:00
Speaker 2: over the wrong and right story personally.
48:02
Speaker 1: So I want to finish with one thing, and I
48:07
Speaker 1: want you to put on your exercise physiologist hat for
48:12
Speaker 1: five minutes. So I recently read that there's never been
48:17
Speaker 1: and this makes sense to me, but there's never been
48:21
Speaker 1: a generation in the history of you know, humans that
48:26
Speaker 1: has sat down the way that we sit down, has
48:29
Speaker 1: spent as much of their twenty four hour cycle sitting,
48:34
Speaker 1: so and some of the consequences. You know, this is
48:38
Speaker 1: your area more than mine, but you know hip flexion,
48:40
Speaker 1: So what that means everyone is at the hip at
48:43
Speaker 1: your hip where your kind of Your legs are in
48:45
Speaker 1: front of you, and your thighs are horizontal or parallel
48:49
Speaker 1: to the ground, so and your knees a bent, and
48:53
Speaker 1: your shoulders are a bit forward, and your back's a
48:55
Speaker 1: bit hunchy, and your head sitting a bit forward, and
48:59
Speaker 1: tell us about tell us about some of the potential
49:03
Speaker 1: carnage that's happening being a person like me. Let's not
49:08
Speaker 1: use me as an example, though, because I know you'll
49:10
Speaker 1: throw me under the bus, So fuck that. Because tell
49:16
Speaker 1: us about the dangers and potential solutions of being an oversitter.
49:23
Speaker 2: An oversitter, I think an oversitter in front of in
49:28
Speaker 2: front of a stimulus is really interesting because it's either
49:32
Speaker 2: in front of a telly or it's in front of
49:34
Speaker 2: a computer. And to our little nervous system conversation today,
49:38
Speaker 2: it's kind of in charge with how we feel. So
49:42
Speaker 2: where disconnected with the signals that's required from our body.
49:47
Speaker 2: So I'm disconnected in a way that I'm not moving,
49:51
Speaker 2: so I'm not part of I'm not tuning my circadian rhythm,
49:55
Speaker 2: so outges my sleep cycle. That email or the fifty
49:59
Speaker 2: email I've got all the article that I'm trying to
50:02
Speaker 2: write or whatever it is I'm so in tune with
50:05
Speaker 2: it that my nervous system is driving that I'm under
50:07
Speaker 2: a threat because I've got to get this done in time.
50:10
Speaker 2: And now. For some people that means no, excuse me,
50:14
Speaker 2: no hunger signals, but for other people it will mean
50:20
Speaker 2: fifty hunger signals. For one person, they're not eating enough
50:24
Speaker 2: and then realizing they're hungry at the end of the day,
50:27
Speaker 2: versus the other person's going, oh my god, they're doing
50:30
Speaker 2: all this and then they're eating excess carbohydrates or something
50:33
Speaker 2: like that. So it always tips out to that type
50:36
Speaker 2: of behavior response because there's no flexibility in the nervous
50:42
Speaker 2: system because we're sitting too long. So the benefit of
50:47
Speaker 2: exercise when we get out of that shape and move
50:49
Speaker 2: around is that we're stimulating our nervous system to rev up,
50:53
Speaker 2: and then that teaches us to deal with stress at
50:57
Speaker 2: a brain level. So after we exercise, we're actually more
51:01
Speaker 2: likely to have a better emotional response to a trigger,
51:05
Speaker 2: particularly after a high intensity exercise about in the coming
51:09
Speaker 2: I think it's like twenty four to thirty six hours.
51:12
Speaker 2: So the opposite to that is if we sit and
51:15
Speaker 2: consume information constantly, we're driving this false version of an
51:21
Speaker 2: upregulated nervous system that then tells our body we need
51:25
Speaker 2: more adrenaline, we need more cortisole. Cortisole is great for
51:29
Speaker 2: our immune system, but not when it's aligned with not
51:32
Speaker 2: being able to turn off or have a task to
51:35
Speaker 2: align itself with. So there's all these kind of funny ways.
51:40
Speaker 2: Even with the way we breathe, we can't. We don't
51:43
Speaker 2: breathe deeply when we sit. Our hip flexes, particularly our
51:48
Speaker 2: so as the deep guy that stabilizes the front of
51:51
Speaker 2: the spine is attached to the diaphragm. So when we
51:54
Speaker 2: don't actually stretch it with a normal full breathing cycle,
51:59
Speaker 2: we all say we've got tight hit flexes. My argument
52:02
Speaker 2: would be, we haven't taken a full breath for twenty
52:05
Speaker 2: six hours, so that might be part of the process
52:10
Speaker 2: where our body is not getting that stimulus of on
52:14
Speaker 2: off chain shapes front back, just absolutely down to the basics.
52:20
Speaker 2: So I would offer people the idea that put on
52:24
Speaker 2: a timer for twenty minutes and if you're not taking
52:27
Speaker 2: a break within twenty minutes, and it can simply be
52:30
Speaker 2: looking to the side, look for the horizon, get you know,
52:34
Speaker 2: two minutes, one minute of a different physical shape or
52:38
Speaker 2: a different perspective done throughout the day is an absolute
52:45
Speaker 2: tuning of the nervous system that could be mind blowing
52:48
Speaker 2: for some people's healthy capacity.
52:51
Speaker 1: Stand up workstations, yes or no.
52:55
Speaker 2: You'll hate me. Because it's individually based. We look at
53:00
Speaker 2: the perimenopause. Women who's bled blood prepore started to change
53:04
Speaker 2: and they're having dizzy feelings here and there in parts
53:06
Speaker 2: of their cycle, then that might not be a great
53:09
Speaker 2: idea because then their body's giving them alert systems something's
53:12
Speaker 2: wrong and they're just trying to do an email. Versus
53:15
Speaker 2: people that have disautonomias, it's really bad for them. But
53:19
Speaker 2: for someone who's needing more movement and trying to manage
53:22
Speaker 2: the glucose level from that perspective and they've got nothing
53:25
Speaker 2: over there. Great idea, twenty minutes standing, twenty minutes sitting,
53:30
Speaker 2: twenty minutes standing, twenty minutes sitting. But I think remember
53:33
Speaker 2: that the brain is at the other end of that standing.
53:38
Speaker 2: So our body is not great at cycling blood and
53:41
Speaker 2: less we're moving. So if you're standing still, that's a
53:46
Speaker 2: long way away for your body to be pumping blood.
53:50
Speaker 2: If your routine exerciser your blood vessels aren't great at
53:55
Speaker 2: pumping that up to you. So if you're standing chucking
53:59
Speaker 2: some calf rais is, march on the spot, do some
54:03
Speaker 2: you know, some star jumps or something. And I think
54:06
Speaker 2: there's a beautiful study that came up recently which was
54:10
Speaker 2: ten bodyweight squats every forty five minutes helps us to
54:14
Speaker 2: regulate the neurotransmitters in our brains and our blood gluecose
54:17
Speaker 2: level in a profound way. So I don't think it's
54:21
Speaker 2: as simple as sit or stand. I think it's about
54:24
Speaker 2: what do I need to do to regulate myself with
54:27
Speaker 2: my with my health knowledge on board. Yeah.
54:33
Speaker 1: Perfect, that's why we get you as if you're going
54:36
Speaker 1: to say yes or no, fuck, I don't. Oh god,
54:41
Speaker 1: all I wanted her to say was stand the fuck up.
54:44
Speaker 1: But would she do it? No? No, No, you gave
54:47
Speaker 1: us the right answer. Tell people what you've got going
54:51
Speaker 1: on and how they can come and do stuff with you,
54:54
Speaker 1: find you, follow you, connect with you, ready, set go.
54:58
Speaker 2: Okay, So I'm on socials, Come and jump on Instagram.
55:03
Speaker 2: I put just handy little hints in there and let
55:05
Speaker 2: you know what's going on my website. If you're wanting
55:08
Speaker 2: to start a conversation. There's a little how I can
55:11
Speaker 2: help your teams or you individually if you've got some
55:15
Speaker 2: changing that needs to happen, if you're around in on
55:19
Speaker 2: the peninsula, So Mornington Peninsula, We're happy to travel down
55:24
Speaker 2: from Melbourne. I'm doing a breath work session at two
55:28
Speaker 2: Session Piece that starts this Thursday at the wonderful Private Seat.
55:34
Speaker 2: That's an evening session to help people out with their schedules.
55:38
Speaker 2: And there's a beautiful online course that I'm doing called
55:42
Speaker 2: Meet Your Mind, which is basically diving into how do
55:46
Speaker 2: I do the stuff that you and I have talked
55:48
Speaker 2: about today? Yeah, that's a four week, four week little
55:51
Speaker 2: deep dive.
55:53
Speaker 1: Great. And where do people go to book in or
55:55
Speaker 1: get more?
55:57
Speaker 2: Get more? Jump on to my jump onto my website,
56:03
Speaker 2: Jump onto my website, into the under the events events page.
56:08
Speaker 1: Idiot? And what's your website? What's your web address?
56:12
Speaker 2: Literally?
56:13
Speaker 1: Yes?
56:14
Speaker 2: Anna? And this spell that you double in an a
56:18
Speaker 2: movement dot com?
56:20
Speaker 1: Can I tell you you're the worst at self promotion? Like
56:24
Speaker 1: You're like, I'm like, and where can they find it?
56:27
Speaker 1: I'll go to my website? Cool? Do you think you
56:29
Speaker 1: could tell them the address? Ah? Yeah, all right?
56:33
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, So Instagram is Auna dot movement. If you're facebooky,
56:38
Speaker 2: it's the same. LinkedIn it's Anna dot Gold's with you,
56:44
Speaker 2: and my website's anamovement dot com. Yeah much, thanks.
56:50
Speaker 1: Connor, it's always a pleasure. You have a good day.
56:55
Speaker 2: Thanks, thanks for joining us again, Thanks Craigils. Thanks to
57:00
Speaker 2: the chat.
57:02
Speaker 1: Oh no, thank you. Could you agree with me more
57:04
Speaker 1: next time? They and make it fucking easier.