Latest / The Warrior Kings Podcast : Men's Self Help Masculinity Podcast / How to Reconnect With Your Wife Before It's Too Late | The Warrior Kings Podcast Ep.106

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How to Reconnect With Your Wife Before It's Too Late | The Warrior Kings Podcast Ep.106 · The Warrior Kings Podcast : Men's Self Help Masculinity Podcast

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This episode is for the man who can't remember the last time him
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and his wife laughed together, the man who feels more like a
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roommate than a husband, and whose senses that the woman he
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married has slowly drifted into a stranger he lives with.
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If it's your first time here, my name is Michael Riggs.
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I'm a full time author, entrepreneur, men's personal
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development and marriage mentor, husband and father of six.
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And I teach men all over the world how to live fully
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optimized, leveled up lives and how to have happy, thriving
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marriages. So if that's something you're
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into, definitely stick around, subscribe to this podcast,
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subscribe to this YouTube channel, wherever you're getting
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this, because this is what we do here every week.
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And today I'm going to teach you exactly how to bring the fun,
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the spark and the romance back to your marriage.
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Stick around. Hello and welcome to the Warrior
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Kings podcast. I'm your host, Michael Riggs
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here to assist you on your journey to living a fully
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optimized, leveled up life as a man.
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So again, welcome and welcome back to the Warrior Kings
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podcast. It's great to be here today.
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It's great to talk to you today. This is part 4 in my 5 part
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marriage series that I've been doing.
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So if you missed the previous three episodes, definitely go
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back and check those out after this episode.
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Lots of valuable information in there because this is going to
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be just part of the whole that is how to be a better husband,
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how to have a happy, thriving marriage with your wife.
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And just a reminder here that I say all the things that most men
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don't want to hear, but make sure you stick around even if
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you feel like screw this guy. I'm closing this thing out and
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never listening to this guy again.
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Stick around because you are going to get something out of
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this episode, I promise. I take kind of a tough love
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approach, but with that being said, let's dive right into the
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episode 1 of the critical. One of the main things that
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causes a marriage to fade over time, the romance, the spark,
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the fun is what I call the routine trap.
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And the routine trap is when life gets comfortable.
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Every day kind of becomes the same.
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You fall into a routine that works during the week.
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Most guys wake up, they go to work, they come home, they watch
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some TV, they put the kids to bed, maybe they get a few
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minutes with their wife, they sleep, and then they wake up and
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repeat the same thing all over again.
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On the weekends they tend to take some time off, relax, watch
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some sports, drink some beer. And the routine actually works.
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It really does. That's the problem with it.
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That's why I call it a trap. It's comfortable enough to not
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feel wrong, but what you don't realize is that it's slowly
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robbing your marriage of everything that made it alive in
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the 1st place. And the routine trap is part of
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what I call the checklist of life.
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Most people follow this checklist.
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That's the things that they feel like they're supposed to do.
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So they end up doing all of them.
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They check those boxes. But the problem with that is
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that they're not doing those things authentically.
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So what is the checklist of life?
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What are some things on there? Well, you go to school, you get
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a career, you get a good job, you get married, you have a
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couple of kids, you get the dog, you buy the house.
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You know, those are all the things on the checklist of life.
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And there's nothing wrong with anything on that checklist.
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The problem is that people are doing those things because they
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feel that it's what they're supposed to do.
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They're not doing it from a place of authenticity, letting
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those things happen naturally and subconsciously.
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I feel like many men feel like the routine trap is part of that
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checklist. It's what they're supposed to be
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doing. And there is no spontaneity.
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There is no adventure. There is no higher calling or
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purpose. Every day becomes a repeat of
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the last day until one day you wake up and realize that your
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life is gone. And that's kind of a hardcore
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way to put it, but many people get towards the end of their
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lives and they realize that they sort of wasted their life
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because they let every day be the same.
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They got comfortable, they checked out, the routine
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actually works. You know what I'm saying?
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It's easy. And we're going to get into how
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this actually destroys marriages here in a minute.
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But I just want to point out here really quick that most
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married couples struggle to spend 2 hours per week together.
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And many marriage therapists, marriage counselors, one of the
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things that they recommend married couples do when they're
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having marriage problems is to try to spend at least two hours
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per week together. And doesn't that sound kind of
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crazy that you commit to spending the rest of your life
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with someone and then you realize that you're struggling
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to spend just two hours with this person.
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It's a challenge to overcome to just spend some time with your
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spouse. I don't know about you, but I
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feel like that's kind of crazy because it is my belief in, hey,
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maybe this is just me here, but I feel like married couples who
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committed to spending the rest of their lives together should
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want to hang out with each other.
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They should want to spend time with each other.
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They should want to talk and have conversations and laugh and
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play and go on adventures. Otherwise, what is the point?
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If you're struggling to spend just two hours per week with
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your wife, you have some work to do and why is that happening?
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You don't want to hang out together.
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You don't enjoy each other's company.
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You feel like you don't have time.
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What is causing that to happen? And I just want to say it.
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I'm not bragging or boasting or rubbing my good life in your
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face or anything. I'm not saying this to say that
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I'm better than you in any way. But me and my wife are best
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friends. When we're apart, we're texting
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each other. When we're on breaks, we call
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each other and talk on the phone.
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We get as much time as we can to spend together, which is very
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little time by the way, because we have 4 kids in the house, 5
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and under, so it can be very chaotic.
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It's a very busy life. We get very little time together
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now, but every piece of time that we can get, every bit of
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time, we're intentional of spending it together and it's
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we're not trying to do that. We just do that because we want
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to be together. We hold each other and talk and
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laugh. If we try to watch a movie, we
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have this inside joke that we never get through a movie
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because we're pausing so much to talk.
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It takes us like several nights to watch an hour and a half
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movie, but we have fun. Our life together is fun.
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We actually enjoy each other's company.
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We're not like looking at a calendar and trying to fit in
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and schedule the time that we are going to spend together.
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Every moment that we can spend together, we are spending it
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together. We don't like being apart.
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You understand what I'm saying? That is a happy, thriving
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marriage when you actually want to be with the person as much as
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possible. And that's why you committed to
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spending the rest of your life with that person, because you
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actually want to do life with them.
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If you're living 2 totally separate lives, if you're living
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like acquaintances or roommates, that is not a sacred connection.
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And I'm not trying to like shame you.
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I'm trying to bring this to your attention.
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If your marriage is struggling, if you're having marriage
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problems, if you're wondering why the intimacy is gone, why
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you're not best friends anymore, a lot of it has to do with that
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routine trap. Every day is the same.
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It's because it's comfortable and easy.
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The routine actually works, so it's easy to miss it because
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everything is working, not doing anything wrong.
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You don't break the law, you know what I'm saying?
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You're a great guy. You're doing everything right.
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It's easy to miss it. And women love spontaneity.
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That's the thing. They want to be on an adventure,
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John Eldridge said in his book Wild at Heart.
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Women don't want to be the adventure.
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They want to be caught up in something much greater than
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themselves. Women want to be on an
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adventure. And I'm sure when you first
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started seeing your wife, one of the ways that you impressed her,
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that you courted her, that you got her to fall in love with
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you, is that you painted a picture for her with your words.
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That was a future filled with adventure and abundance and
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ambition and dreams and goals and where you were going, the
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places that you were going to be going, and that she could come
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along with you if she made that decision.
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You said, this is the life I'm going to live.
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It's going to be awesome. So come do this life with me.
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Then the routine trap happens. Then the checklist of life
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happens and then you miss it. Spontaneity, adventure, do
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something different at least sometimes.
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Don't let every single day be the same.
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You know, one of the things that me and my wife have always done
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is what we call living room camp outs.
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And this is going to sound kind of childish because it is.
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And that's why it's fun. We'll take our mattress off our
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bed and pull it into the living room and hang out and watch a
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movie and we'll have some sort of snack.
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You know, we make some sort of fun snack to have together and
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we just hang out and talk and then we fall asleep in the
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living room. It's a living room camp out.
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Like I said, sounds childish. But here's the thing, it's fun,
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it's adventurous, it's different.
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It's not the normal routine of sit on opposite sides of the
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room staring at your phones, not even talking to each other until
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9:30 comes and then you decide to brush your teeth and go to
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bed. You know, it's something fun and
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different that we do together because we're best friends.
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Sometimes I'll wake up in the morning and just have this urge
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to do something fun and spontaneous with my wife.
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So like 1 morning a while back, I saw my wife in a field of
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flowers. In my mind I was imagining how
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beautiful that would be. So I got on my phone and I
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looked up flower fields near me and I took her to a sunflower
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field at a farm that allows people to go and walk and take
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pictures and enjoy it. And we went and did that one
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time. We ended up at what they call
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Boneyard Beach. It was like it felt like the
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edge of the world. It was a beach just covered in
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driftwood trees, like dead trees.
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And you can find cool areas where you live as well.
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If you want to do something spontaneous like that one day.
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And like I said, women love spontaneity and adventure.
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They want you to mix it up a little bit.
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Go have some fun. Don't tell her.
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You could decide that morning and be like, hey, get ready,
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we're going to this place, you know, and go and check it out.
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That's a spontaneous adventure. So how do you actually start
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having fun again? How do you break free from the
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mundane routine that you've been following where every day is a
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repeat of the last? How do you bring back the fun
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and the spark to your marriage, which ultimately brings you
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closer together? It builds the connection.
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It even brings intimacy back eventually, if that's something
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that's been lacking in your marriage.
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The answer to that is kind of what we just went through is
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women love spontaneity and adventure.
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They want to have fun. That's number one.
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That's the first thing. I did a survey a while back on
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social media where I asked women if they would rather make all
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the plans to to go on a date or if they would prefer if the man
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made all the plans and then surprise them with it.
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And this is no joke. 100% of the women who responded in the
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comments said that they wish their husband would plan
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spontaneous adventures and dates and plan the whole thing because
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they're tired of making all the plans.
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A lot of them said I'm tired of him saying I don't know what do
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you want to do? I wish he would just make plans
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and take the lead and take me on an adventure.
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So it's the difference between I don't know what do you want to
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do when you have some time to spend together versus I'm taking
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checking you out tonight, wear a dress.
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We leave at 7:00. I already got a babysitter.
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Everything's handled. You understand what I'm saying?
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That is so much more important, so much more special to a woman
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then I don't know what do you want to do.
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Going and eating at the same place, doing the same things you
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do all the time, never stepping outside of your comfort zone,
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letting it just be the routine trap.
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Go to the same restaurant, walk at the same place, go to the
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movie theater, All these really basic, dumb, mundane things.
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That's not giving her a life of fun and adventure.
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That's just giving her a mundane, boring life.
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And is that the life that you promised her that she would have
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when you really get down to it? Or did you promise her a life of
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abundance adventure, a life that was ever increasingly getting
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more and more awesome? What did she sign up for?
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Really reflect on that. And here's the thing, it's not
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all about going out. You know, a lot of people, they
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stop hanging out with their spouse because life gets busy.
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You have kids, all these things, right?
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And you think that if it's not a big date night that's planned
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out and you have a restaurant booked and you're going out,
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it's really hard to make that happen sometimes.
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I get that because I live it every single day, but it doesn't
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always have to be this big thing.
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Remember back when I was talking about the living room camp outs
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with my wife? There's this thing we do that's
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called at home date nights. If we can't go anywhere, we
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don't have a babysitter, we don't have a designated date
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night, we're still hanging out. I want to emphasize so much the
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importance to you of actually hanging out with your wife
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again. You remember when you were first
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seeing her in the beginning of your relationship, you guys hung
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out, you talked sometimes it was probably just at home, but you
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were having fun, you were having conversation, you were playing
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together, laughing together. Maybe you were getting intimate
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together. You know what I'm saying?
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So it doesn't always have to be this big extravagant thing
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because most people think that it has to be that big
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extravagant thing or else you can't hang out together.
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And what happens is days, weeks, months, years pass by without
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you ever nurturing that connection.
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So hang out again. Even if you can't go anywhere,
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have it at home. Date night.
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Do something crazy like pull the mattress into the living room
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and lay and watch a movie and have a fun snack.
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Revisit some of the things that you used to enjoy together, the
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things that brought you together in the 1st place.
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Maybe it was music, maybe it was fitness.
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Whatever your shared interests were back then, bring those
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things back into your relationship.
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Find a cool recipe and cook it together.
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It doesn't matter if you totally screw it up.
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It's a, it's about spending time together, doing something
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together. So even if you burn it, even if
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it's disgusting, it's not about that.
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It's not. It's about the activity and
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actually spending time together and that it doesn't always have
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to be this big extravagant date night thing.
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Go to the store and buy a board game.
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You know, these things that to a lot of guys they feel childish.
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You know, one of my coaching clients a while back, he was
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talking to me about actually hanging out with his wife again
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or trying to do that. And he was like, I would never
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do the living room camp out thing where you pull the
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mattress out and all that. But I'll do my best.
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I'll, I'll try to hang out with my wife again.
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You know, he thought that was the most ridiculous thing in the
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world, which it does sound ridiculous, but that's what
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makes it so special. So go to the store maybe and buy
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a board game and play it together.
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There's all sorts of board games that exist now.
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I don't know if you've been in the board game aisle within the
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last few years, but you can go on a murder mystery adventure.
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You can go on a fantasy adventure.
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There's games where you both build your own empire.
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You know, there's all sorts of games now that are adventures
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that you can go through together and sometimes compete against
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each other. You know, these things are fun.
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Bring the fun back to your marriage.
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Don't allow every evening to be exactly the same because here's
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the most important part of this whole thing.
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The most important concept is that if you want to bring the
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connection, the spark, the fun back to your marriage, you need
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to be actually hanging out together and enjoying doing
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that. It takes it from trying to spend
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time time together, trying to get those two hours a week.
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And because that's so difficult to just, I can't wait to hang
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out with my wife again because it's fun.
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It's what I enjoy doing. We have a blast together.
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We make jokes, it's hilarious. We get to have sex at the end.
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You know what I'm saying? Like, it can be super awesome.
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Life doesn't have to be a mundane, boring routine.
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And if you have let it become that, that's the problem.
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And the next thing that I want to talk about today is the
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difference between complimenting versus criticizing your wife.
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And this is where a lot of men go wrong and relationships and
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in marriages. And that's one of the most
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important aspects of bringing your marriage back together,
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bringing that fun, the intimacy back, bringing the connection
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back. Men grow in their lives by
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criticism from others, people telling them, hey, you could
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have done that better or this is how to do this.
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Let me show you how to do this because you're doing it wrong.
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Women are the opposite. They grow through nurturement,
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encouragement. Women grow through compliments.
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So one thing to note here is that if you're always looking
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for compliments to make you feel like you're doing a good job,
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you are acting in the feminine because most of the time men
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grow through criticism, by being shown how to do things the right
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way, through overcoming challenges, by being challenged.
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Do you understand what I'm saying?
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And one of the critical mistakes that men make in their marriages
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is that they end up challenging their wives, communicating with
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their wives like they do their guy friends.
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They roast their wife, they correct their wife, they
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criticize their wife, they point out what she's doing wrong
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because they make the mistake of thinking that that's how a
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person grows when that's just how a man grows to a man.
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That's how you think that you make someone improve.
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That's how you make them better is by challenging them,
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criticizing them, roasting them, picking at them, pushing at
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their butt and saying let me show you the right way to do
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that because you're doing it wrong.
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To a woman that's slowly beating her into the ground and making
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her feel like she's not good enough for you, it has an
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opposite effect. If you do this enough, overtime
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she will begin to resent you. She will begin to pull away.
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She will say to herself, why even try?
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He doesn't me and he doesn't think I'm good at anything.
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He doesn't think I'm good enough for him anyway.
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So I even try. And that might be very confusing
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to you as a man. And you might say I have no idea
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what I've been doing wrong this entire time.
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I have no idea why she pulled away, why we're not connected
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anymore, why the intimacy is dead.
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And then if it's pointed out to you like this, you realize, oh
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snap. I have been beating her into the
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ground with my words for months, if not years, thinking that I
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was doing the right thing to help her grow as a person, to
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make her better at things. So let me give you an example
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here. So say you have a guy friend
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over and you guys are hanging pictures in the house.
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This is an activity that you're doing together.
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He's helping you out. You know what I'm saying?
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And he hammers a nail into the wall and goes to hang the
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picture up. And the picture immediately
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falls and crashes on the ground. What do you say to him?
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Something like, dumbass, you got to put the nail in the stud.
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What the heck are you doing? And when you do that, he would
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be like, what does that mean? Hammer the nail into the stud?
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I didn't know that before. Why don't you show me the right
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way to do this? And you're like, this is how you
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find the stud. And then you nail, you know, you
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show him how to do it. And then he grows from that
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experience. Now he knows how to do something
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that he didn't know how to do before.
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And he gets better in his life that little bit.
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Now, let's say it's you and your wife doing the same activity.
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You're hanging pictures in the house together, and she's on the
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opposite side of the room and you're over here.
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She hammers a nail into the wall and goes to hang the picture up.
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It immediately falls and crashes on the ground and the glass
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breaks. And you decide to take the same
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approach. What are you doing?
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That's not how you do that. You have to hammer the nail into
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the stud. You're doing this the wrong way.
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Now think about that. Is she like your guy friend,
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growing from that experience? No, she's feeling like she can't
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do anything right. She feels beat into the ground.
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She feels she's wondering why you're talking to her that way.
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And ultimately, if this happens enough times overtime, she'll
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just not feel good enough. That's the reaction that a woman
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has to criticism, to being challenged.
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It's not the same as how a man grows from that experience.
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So what's a better way to go about that?
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Making light of the situation? Be like, Oh no, Kind of laughing
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with her about it, making her feel like it's OK, giving her
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some sort of compliment and praise.
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Like you have such a good eye for design.
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Look at my pictures over there and look where you decided to
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put these ones. You're so good at this
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decorating stuff. You're right, this picture will
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look really good here. I think what happened was you
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didn't hammer the nail into the stud.
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Let me show you how to do that. Not in a criticizing or
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challenging way, In a loving way that makes her feel like it's OK
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that she didn't do it the right way and that the picture broke
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and all that. Because she probably already
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feels bad for that in the 1st place.
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But always complimenting her, praising her, nurturing her with
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love. That's how women grow.
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By compliments, through praise, through nurturing.
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Not by being beaten to the ground with your words.
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That's how men grow. That's not how women grow.
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You understand what I'm saying? So how long have you been
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correcting your wife, criticizing your wife?
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You know, when she cooks something, if the chicken is a
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little dry, do you say chickens a little dry?
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Or do you find something to compliment her on or just say
18:42
thank you? Because ultimately, when it
18:44
comes down to it, the chicken isn't too anything.
18:47
You're just lucky to be there. And if you're hearing all this
18:49
and you're wondering now where you stand as a husband, what
18:52
you've been doing right and what you've been unknowingly doing
18:55
wrong, I built a free assessment that you can take that will
18:59
grade you on how you have been showing up as a husband, what
19:02
you have been doing wrong, and what you need to do to fix it
19:05
moving forward. This is a completely free
19:07
download. It's a self-assessment and you
19:09
can grab that at the link in the description of this episode.
19:12
Men and women are completely different beings.
19:15
And as soon as you realize that and learn how to effectively
19:17
communicate with them and navigate a relationship with
19:20
them, you'll see things level up in your marriage like you
19:22
wouldn't believe. It's unfortunate that we're not
19:24
taught these things. Modern society tells us that men
19:27
and women are exactly the same, and that's why we often make so
19:30
many mistakes in our relationships with each other.
19:33
Like we don't know the differences, so we don't know
19:36
how to navigate these things. It's crazy.
19:38
But the next thing that I want to talk about today is the
19:40
importance of making her feel beautiful every single day.
19:43
Always make your wife feel beautiful.
19:46
Women want to feel beautiful, and it has almost nothing to do
19:49
with attracting other men. It's just who they are.
19:52
That's why makeup is a multibillion dollar industry.
19:55
That's why she'll spend an hour on her appearance just to go to
19:58
the grocery store. Women.
20:00
Want to feel beautiful? Your role is to make her feel
20:03
beautiful every single day, even if she hasn't even done anything
20:06
special that day to her appearance, even if she's not
20:09
dressed up, even if she didn't even put on makeup that day and
20:12
she's in some sweatpants. Your job is to make her feel
20:15
beautiful. And here's another thing, when
20:16
she does get dressed up, your reaction should never be
20:20
suspicion. Like, why are you getting
20:22
dressed up like this? Who are you going to be seeing?
20:24
Who are you talking to? You know, all these jealous
20:26
reactions that men have, which I'm going to do a episode coming
20:29
up, not sure when, but I really want to address the jealousy
20:33
thing because that is a huge factor, a huge piece, so
20:36
important to get through that. So if that's something that you
20:38
want to learn about, if you're a guy who finds yourself getting
20:41
defensive and jealous and kind of territorial, possessive, let
20:45
me know in the comments if you're looking forward to that
20:47
episode and I'll get that out sooner.
20:48
But a lot of guys make the mistake of shaming their wife
20:52
when she looks beautiful. Like, what are you getting all
20:55
dressed up for? Why are you wearing that?
20:57
Where are you going? Who are you going to be seeing?
20:58
And then they're surprised when their wife stops trying.
21:01
They say she let herself go. She never looks hot for me
21:04
anymore. What's the deal with this?
21:05
Why doesn't she look hot anymore?
21:07
You know it's and that's because you beat her into the ground
21:09
with your suspicion, with your jealousy, with your judgement,
21:12
with your What are you getting all dressed up for?
21:14
Every time that she looks beautiful and felt beautiful,
21:17
you made her feel like she was doing something wrong.
21:19
O in the end it's like why even try?
21:21
Why get dressed U why put makeup on?
21:23
Why look sexy? Because he's just going to get
21:26
pissed off if I do that. He doesn't want me to look
21:28
beautiful. And when it comes to compliments
21:30
and praise, she will amplify the traits that you compliment the
21:33
most and the ones that you shame, she will abandoned
21:36
completely. She'll stop doing those things.
21:38
So if you like when she looks hot, tell her she looks hot.
21:41
If you like when she looks fit, tell her that she looks sexy
21:44
when she exercises. It has to be through the lens of
21:47
a compliment and a praise. Not through a criticism, not
21:51
through a judgement. That's how men grow to be
21:54
criticized, to be judged. Be told you can do a better job
21:57
than that, can't you? That's how a man grows.
21:59
A woman grows by feeling beautiful, by being
22:01
complimented, by being praised. And here's the thing, man, I am
22:05
guilty sometimes of the exact same things.
22:07
And that's why I know my wife is an elementary school teacher.
22:11
So usually she just wears tea tree kind of things.
22:14
You know, she doesn't get super dressed up and every once in a
22:16
while she'll get really dressed up.
22:18
She looks really beautiful that day.
22:20
She does her hair really nice. She does her make up really
22:22
nice. She wears a dress.
22:24
And sometimes when that happens, that takes me off guard.
22:26
And I've made the mistake before of saying, what's going on
22:29
today? Who are you getting all dressed
22:31
up for? Because it's a pattern break.
22:32
What I have to realize and remind myself of is that
22:35
sometimes women just want to feel beautiful.
22:37
They just want to feel hot. I'm not saying that infidelity
22:40
doesn't happen. I live in the real world.
22:42
I'm not stupid. What I'm saying is, is that
22:44
every time she gets dressed up don't mean that that that's
22:46
what's happening. Maybe that day she just felt
22:48
like looking beautiful. And, you know, when I've made
22:51
the mistake in the past, she explained that to me.
22:53
She said, you know, sometimes I just want to look nice.
22:55
Sometimes I just feel like putting myself together and
22:58
there's nothing to it, you know, and that kind of gives me some
23:00
security. Sometimes I get a little bit
23:02
paranoid. That's that's the point that I
23:03
really wanted to make is that I'm not just shaming and judging
23:07
guys for the way that they react to things away that live the
23:10
mistakes that they make. I make all the same mistakes.
23:13
I just wanted to put that out there.
23:14
And the final thing that I want to talk about today is the
23:17
importance of nurturing your wife's femininity.
23:20
We live in a culture and society that is attacking masculine and
23:24
feminine polarity and attacking the family unit.
23:27
The world is telling men that they should be more feminine and
23:30
it's telling feminine women that they should be more masculine.
23:33
It is your job as a husband to push back against that.
23:36
Nurture her femininity like we talked about.
23:38
Make her feel beautiful like we've talked about through this
23:41
whole series. Make her feel heard, seeing and
23:43
understood. Allow her to relax into her
23:46
feminine energy. And the way you do that is by
23:49
being in your masculine. Being in the masculine role,
23:52
saying I got this, don't worry about it.
23:54
Being a strong protector and provider, nurturing her
23:57
femininity, telling her she's beautiful.
23:59
It is your job to push back against the world in this messed
24:02
up society and not allowing it to tear your family and your
24:06
marriage apart through the slow brainwashing that is happening
24:09
through media, entertainment, music, all of these things.
24:12
It is your job to protect your marriage by being in the
24:15
masculine role and allowing her to be in the feminine.
24:18
Masculine and feminine polarity is what keeps attraction alive.
24:22
It's what keeps the spark alive. It's what causes intimacy to
24:25
happen. When the polarity is thrown off
24:28
in a marriage, when the man starts acting in the feminine
24:30
and the woman starts acting in the masculine, meaning she has
24:33
to handle everything, figure everything out, manage
24:35
everything, if she has to become her own man.
24:37
That is one of the key aspects of why marriages fall apart.
24:41
The attraction dies. Make a massive point to learn
24:45
what it means to be a man, what it means to be in the masculine,
24:47
what your roles are as a man traditionally.
24:50
And the more that you embody that, the more that you embody
24:53
the masculine, the more that you nurture her femininity and just
24:56
allow her to be a woman, the more you 2 will come closer
24:59
together, the more the intimacy will come alive.
25:01
We're living in a culture and society that tells women that
25:04
they need to be girl bosses, that they don't need no man,
25:07
that they should probably just date women.
25:09
You know, I'm sorry, that's just the truth.
25:12
That's just the hard truth. You know, that's what the world
25:14
is telling women. And if your wife spends any
25:16
amount of time on social media, which isn't bad, I'm not telling
25:19
you to take your wife's phone away, don't get this wrong.
25:22
But if your wife is spending anytime on social media,
25:25
sometimes she's seeing these things.
25:27
She's seeing what the world is telling her, just like you see
25:29
what the world is telling men. So nurture her femininity.
25:33
Allow her to relax into her feminine energy and be a woman.
25:37
Allow her to feel beautiful. Tell her she's a Good Wife.
25:40
Tell her she's a good Mama. Compliment her every single day.
25:43
I asked the guy recently who's having marriage problems.
25:46
I say, do you still compliment your wife?
25:48
And he said, you know, not really.
25:50
I don't really think that she's that type of person that really
25:52
likes compliments and things like that.
25:54
I said, do it anyways. Do it anyways because you're,
25:57
you're missing the point, dude. You're missing the point.
26:00
Women grow through compliments and praise and nurturing their
26:03
femininity. That's what it really comes down
26:05
to. So what do we got here?
26:07
Break free from the routine trap.
26:09
Bring some spontaneity and some adventure back to your marriage.
26:12
Have those big extravagant date nights.
26:14
Bring those back. But when you can't make those
26:16
happen, start hanging out with your wife again.
26:19
Make that happen every single day in the evening time.
26:21
If that's the only time you get, if you're away on business, if
26:24
you're one of those couples asked to be apart for long
26:26
stretches of time, guess what? There's this thing called
26:28
FaceTime. Now there's all kinds of
26:30
technologies. You could watch the same movie
26:32
at the same time while talking to each other.
26:34
Text each other, text her compliments, text her.
26:37
I miss you, I can't wait to see you again.
26:39
There's nothing wrong with these things.
26:41
Bring the at home date night into your marriage.
26:43
It doesn't always have to be a big thing.
26:45
Allow her to feel beautiful. Don't criticize her, don't
26:49
challenge her, don't tell her the right way to do things.
26:51
Just always shift those moments into compliments, nurture her
26:55
femininity, let her be a woman. And trust me, your marriage will
26:58
level up like you didn't even know was possible.
27:00
And on the next episode of this series, we're bringing it all
27:04
together. We're going to be talking about
27:06
what it means to be a fully optimized man, not just a better
27:09
husband, but a better everything, mind, body and
27:13
spirit. Because your marriage rises or
27:15
falls based on who you are. But that's what I got for you
27:18
guys today. I hope you got something out of
27:20
this episode. I feel like this is a really the
27:22
important one. I want you to reflect on it,
27:24
digest it, really get into these concepts.
27:27
If you have to listen to it again, please do that.
27:29
A few of you have been asking about my coaching and you're not
27:32
really sure if you want to make the full commitment, but you
27:34
know that you need the coaching. I do what's called a one time
27:37
clarity call where we can connect over an hour or so.
27:40
And this is where I map out your situation, kind of get into what
27:44
you need to do moving forward and allows us to connect before
27:47
making a full commitment, You know, just to see if we vibe
27:50
together, stuff like that. Sometimes I, I talked to guys
27:53
and it seems like I can't help them or that it's not going to
27:56
work out. We just don't vibe together.
27:58
And other times I say, I know exactly what you need to do,
28:01
man, this is going to be so awesome.
28:03
I can help you because this connects to this and that
28:05
connects to that. We vibe really well and it's
28:07
awesome. So if you're curious about
28:09
coaching, start with that clarity call that allows us to
28:12
connect to get to the source of the issues that you're facing in
28:14
your marriage and make a plan moving forward.
28:17
So definitely reach out to me on that contact form in the blink
28:20
in the description of this episode.
28:21
If you're interested in my one-on-one marriage coaching.
28:24
Now get out there, kill it. Level up every aspect of your
28:27
life, a life of overflowing abundance away to on the other
28:30
side of you deciding to make the switch, make the change and
28:33
level up every aspect of your life.
28:35
There is a great calling and a purpose for you in this life.
28:38
You listening to this right now. I love you, I'm proud of you and
28:41
I'll see you on the next one. Thanks guys.
28:43
Bye.