Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Some Signs That You Are Healing From Narcissistic Abuse

Transcript

Some Signs That You Are Healing From Narcissistic Abuse · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on, beautiful people?
• 0:01
  Today we're going to be talking about a few signs that you are
• 0:05
  healing from narcissistic abuse or from a toxic relationship.
• 0:08
  Signs that you are getting better.
• 0:11
  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
• 0:12
  I'm a diagnosed narcissist and welcome to another episode of
• 0:15
  The Narcissist Code. Boom.
• 0:33
  Welcome back, folks. Welcome back welcome back.
• 0:35
  Yes Yep Yep. Yep, Yep, Yep, Yep.
• 0:38
  Decky land before time. Yeah.
• 0:42
  What are a lot of people ask me this question right here.
• 0:45
  Lately I've been, I feel like I've been healing forever.
• 0:48
  Like I just, I don't know if I'm getting better though.
• 0:51
  Like what? What are the what are some signs
• 0:54
  to prove to me, to show me not to show everybody not to show
• 0:57
  the world to prove to me that I am healing and getting better
• 1:01
  from narcissistic abuse? What are what are some of the
• 1:03
  tell tale signs and whatnot? Please help me.
• 1:05
  Please help me. Please, please.
• 1:06
  Yeah, I'm here to help you. Like calm down.
• 1:09
  Calm down. No, but seriously, a lot of
• 1:13
  people ask me that because you want to have some mile markers,
• 1:15
  right? You want to see how far you've
• 1:16
  come and that because how far, how far do you know you?
• 1:20
  How far do you know you've gone? If you can't tell how far you've
• 1:23
  come, you know what I'm saying? Like you can't tell how far
• 1:25
  you've came unless you if you don't have mile markers, like
• 1:28
  even if you're walking on a driving on a highway, if you
• 1:31
  don't have a road map or if you don't have Agps or mile markers
• 1:35
  like mile markers that mile, mile 17, mile marker 25.
• 1:39
  If you don't have these mile markers, then they were going to
• 1:42
  tell you. They're going to show you like
• 1:44
  the mile markers. If you don't have them, you
• 1:45
  don't know how far you go. Like, so this video right here
• 1:48
  is going to show you how to tell if you came, how far you've
• 1:51
  gone. Yeah, like I said, there's no
• 1:52
  telltale signs y'all and some of y'all might have some signs You
• 1:55
  some of you might not have these signs, some of you might have
• 1:57
  others. If I miss a sign, which I'm
• 1:59
  probably going to do, drop it in the comment section, They leave.
• 2:02
  This is how I know I was getting better.
• 2:04
  This is how I know I was healing.
• 2:06
  This is how I know how I know that I'm thriving after this
• 2:09
  toxic relationship. And one of the telltale signs
• 2:12
  y'all is the fact that you don't watch as much of the content as
• 2:15
  you need to. I know I feel like as you feel
• 2:18
  like you as you used to like when you're trying to heal, you
• 2:22
  want to learn as much as possible and you want to take in
• 2:24
  all the information that you see online.
• 2:26
  You want to read books, you want to join support groups like
• 2:29
  mine, the mental healers mental illness.net, you can find it
• 2:32
  out. You want to do whatever you feel
• 2:34
  like it's possible for you to heal and grow you like I got to
• 2:37
  heal, I got to grow, I got to thrive.
• 2:40
  So you're doing everything you can in order to try and get
• 2:43
  better, right, right. Am I right?
• 2:45
  So in these spaces, in these in these in these relationship
• 2:48
  dynamics, it makes a lot of sense that you will watch a lot
• 2:51
  of stuff. So when you start tuning down,
• 2:53
  you feel like you don't need to watch it as much.
• 2:55
  Hey, it could be a sign that you're getting better.
• 2:59
  It could be a sign that you're healing.
• 3:00
  Because so many people turn to the videos to soothe them,
• 3:04
  right? Somebody, so many people turn to
• 3:06
  the videos to help them make sense and stuff.
• 3:08
  But over time, I don't know how much time, everybody's going to
• 3:11
  be different over time. You feel like you don't need it
• 3:13
  as much. You feel like you feel like back
• 3:16
  in the day, you feel like I'm hyperventilating.
• 3:19
  Are they treated in the new supply better?
• 3:21
  Let me get on and watch. Let me get on and watch the Lee
• 3:22
  Hammock video real quick. And now you've like, I don't
• 3:26
  kind of treat you no better. I don't need a video today.
• 3:28
  I don't need a podcast. I don't need to type in a
• 3:30
  support group. I'm good.
• 3:32
  That's how you know right there. That's one way that you know
• 3:35
  that you're getting better, right There is the fact that you
• 3:37
  don't need to consume as much content as you used to.
• 3:41
  I've had people in my support groups, right?
• 3:42
  The support group is not a permanent thing, right?
• 3:45
  The support group is to help you get to a point.
• 3:47
  Some people laugh, some people stay in the support group longer
• 3:49
  than others, right? Like it gets to the point where
• 3:51
  for some people you're supposed to leave sooner, sooner or
• 3:53
  later, once you get to that point, you're supposed to leave,
• 3:55
  right? You're supposed to.
• 3:56
  It's kind of like you graduate. It's like turn your turn your
• 3:58
  tassel to the side. You graduated narcissistic abuse
• 4:01
  one O 1 right? That's the point.
• 4:04
  You know, I miss them in a support group.
• 4:05
  I miss them, but we still communicate.
• 4:07
  People e-mail me, people message me on TikTok or Instagram or
• 4:09
  whatever. You know, it's just like you're
• 4:10
  still in communication. So it's cool.
• 4:13
  You're growing, you're thriving, you're healing, you're doing
• 4:15
  everything that you need to do, right?
• 4:17
  You're doing absolutely everything that you need to do.
• 4:20
  Like you're watching the video and that's cool, but you get to
• 4:22
  that point, you're like, damn, I'll need it today.
• 4:24
  I'm good. I'm good.
• 4:27
  I'm good with four O's. I'm good.
• 4:30
  You know what I mean? And it makes sense.
• 4:33
  That's why I'm so happy to help so many people, Y'all in these
• 4:36
  situations, in these scenarios, I'm so happy to help so many
• 4:38
  people thrive and grow. And every time I'm in my office,
• 4:40
  every time I'm in my office, I swear a fire truck goes by.
• 4:43
  I don't. Yeah, I don't know what it is.
• 4:46
  Like every time I'm down here, a fire truck goes by.
• 4:49
  That's how I know I'm healing from fire truck abuse, fire
• 4:52
  truck interruptions. I don't get mad.
• 4:54
  I'm not healing just yet, right? Yeah, it's just like every time.
• 4:58
  So I got to. I don't like to cut the videos,
• 5:02
  so I like to get my pure unedited thoughts.
• 5:05
  There it goes, right there, engine #3 But yeah, that's one
• 5:10
  sign that you know you're healing because you don't need
• 5:12
  to consume as much content, right?
• 5:14
  Another sign that you could be healing, it's the fact that you
• 5:17
  don't feel the need to look at their social media anymore.
• 5:19
  Y'all remember you used to be consumed with looking at their
• 5:21
  social media. Y'all know I call it the
• 5:23
  narcissist TV. You used to be consumed with
• 5:25
  turning on the narcissist TV. Like you don't watch it anymore.
• 5:28
  You like oh damn, I don't need to.
• 5:30
  I don't need to see that. You wake up one day and you
• 5:32
  realize that like damn you go, you go to sleep like damn, I
• 5:37
  don't check that social media all day.
• 5:38
  I don't feel the need to. You're getting better.
• 5:42
  You're getting better. I'm not going to say, I'm not
• 5:43
  going to say this is going to be the last time.
• 5:45
  I'm not going to say you going to message in tomorrow or
• 5:47
  whatever. You're going to check the
• 5:48
  messages tomorrow. You're getting better though,
• 5:50
  right? You're getting better because
• 5:52
  you haven't checked the social media today.
• 5:54
  And that's important. Day by day is where we're let's
• 5:57
  get through today. Let's not worry about tomorrow.
• 5:59
  Let's get through today. So many people focus on
• 6:01
  tomorrow, get through today first.
• 6:05
  You have to be able to get through today first in order to
• 6:07
  make sense of everything, right? In order to empower yourself, in
• 6:10
  order to do so many things, you have to be able to get through
• 6:13
  today first. It's extremely important in a
• 6:16
  lot of these spaces, within a lot of these dynamics, it's
• 6:19
  extremely important, right? And that's why I just tell
• 6:23
  y'all, as you continue to move forward, as you continue to
• 6:25
  grow, you guys say you don't check that social media as much.
• 6:27
  It's a sign that you're healing. Another sign is you're not
• 6:30
  worried about them treating the new supply better.
• 6:33
  Oh my goodness. If they have a new supply,
• 6:35
  you're not worried about it anymore.
• 6:36
  You remember you, you remember you used to be consumed about
• 6:38
  them treating a new supply better.
• 6:40
  I think about them giving a new supply everything that I wanted,
• 6:44
  everything that I begged for. And it just makes me feel so
• 6:46
  little. It makes me feel so feel so
• 6:48
  small, made me feel so less than.
• 6:50
  I don't know what to do now. You've healed to the point where
• 6:52
  you were like, hey, do what you going to do.
• 6:55
  I know who you are, right? I know what you're I know what
• 6:58
  you're going to do. I know what you're doing.
• 7:00
  You're being manipulative. This is who you are, right?
• 7:04
  This is exactly what goes on. This is the space so many people
• 7:08
  fall into right here, right? This is the space that so many
• 7:11
  people deal with. I'm just telling you, that's one
• 7:14
  of the things right there that so many people battle with right
• 7:16
  there. Like you're not worried about
• 7:18
  the new supply anymore, right? You're not like you don't worry
• 7:22
  about them treating the new supply better.
• 7:23
  You, you you're just thriving in your within yourself.
• 7:26
  You're feeling good about yourself right now.
• 7:28
  You're like, damn, I'm good, I'm good.
• 7:31
  You know, it's it's yeah, it's it could be an amazing feeling
• 7:34
  to understand that you are just good right now.
• 7:37
  You're good. And I was just I feel like when
• 7:39
  I'm telling you all this, this is to empower you.
• 7:41
  This is so important that you are absolutely good.
• 7:45
  You are you know, it makes sense.
• 7:48
  But I'll also say this right here, y'all, another sign that
• 7:51
  you are healing and if you are growing and getting away from
• 7:54
  the person is that you don't think about the person as much
• 7:57
  anymore either. You mean you're OK with going no
• 8:00
  contact like every day? And this is this is what kind of
• 8:04
  confuses people right here. In order to not think about the
• 8:07
  person, in order to go no contact, it's like you have to
• 8:10
  think about the person, right? But when you're in no content,
• 8:12
  when you're OK, when you're comfortable in your no contact,
• 8:15
  it's like you don't even have to try hard anymore to not think
• 8:17
  about that. They, they just don't cross your
• 8:19
  mind as much anymore. And the crazy thing about it is
• 8:23
  you won't realize it until they're possibly to your head
• 8:25
  like, oh, damn, I haven't thought about them today, but I
• 8:30
  just did, of course. But today, you know, I normally
• 8:33
  wake up in the morning thinking about what they're doing.
• 8:36
  Now it's it's, it's 6:17 PM. I'm like, damn, be yeah.
• 8:43
  Be proud of yourself if you've experienced these moments
• 8:46
  because that shows you that you're getting better.
• 8:48
  Be proud of yourself. Pat yourself on the back because
• 8:50
  it's difficult. So many people try to make it
• 8:52
  seem like it's an easy thing to do.
• 8:54
  Like it's an easy thing to tolerate, like it's an easy
• 8:56
  thing to work through. It's not, it's absolutely not.
• 8:59
  It's not an easy thing to do. It's not an easy thing to
• 9:02
  tolerate. It's, it's very tough for so
• 9:05
  many people in these situations, right?
• 9:07
  It's very difficult for so many people in these situations to
• 9:10
  deal in the battle with what everything is going on.
• 9:12
  So just be, be proud of yourself in these situations, y'all
• 9:15
  absolutely be proud of yourself. Another step to show you that
• 9:19
  you're here. Another another sign y'all is
• 9:21
  that you don't get triggered when you have to see them as
• 9:23
  much like when you have to see them like when you're exchanging
• 9:27
  your kids or whatever the situation may be.
• 9:29
  You don't get triggered as much you like you just don't see them
• 9:32
  as this triggering force in your life.
• 9:34
  You started to take your power back and strip it away from
• 9:36
  them. So when you see them, it might
• 9:38
  like say it used to trigger you used to cry, you used to miss
• 9:40
  them. Now it's just the person you
• 9:42
  share kids with. Now, is this the father or the
• 9:44
  mother of your children? Even if they show up with
• 9:47
  somebody else to try to trigger you, you're like, this is part
• 9:50
  of the this is part of their plan.
• 9:51
  They haven't changed. When they start doing stuff like
• 9:53
  that, it's just more an indication that they themselves
• 9:56
  have not gotten better, that they themselves have not
• 9:59
  changed, that they themselves are still themselves.
• 10:01
  This is who they are. This is who they're going to be.
• 10:04
  It's just more evidence of the contrary that this is who they
• 10:07
  are. They haven't changed.
• 10:08
  You know what I'm saying? They haven't.
• 10:10
  They are still themselves, you know, Like, this is who they
• 10:13
  are. This is who they are with you,
• 10:15
  who they were with you. This is who they are.
• 10:17
  Regardless of what they're showing the outside world,
• 10:20
  right? Regardless of what they're
• 10:21
  showing the outside world. When you see this person now,
• 10:23
  you don't get triggered as much. Like triggering.
• 10:26
  It can go down. It can go down.
• 10:27
  Yeah, it can. It, can it spike back up?
• 10:29
  Yeah, But it can go down, down, down.
• 10:31
  You're taking your power back. So if I missed any steps out,
• 10:34
  make sure you drop in the comment section.
• 10:35
  Missed any signs, make sure you drop them in the comment section
• 10:38
  and whatnot, because like I said, I'm going to miss some.
• 10:41
  There's some things that I just like, you know, there's some
• 10:43
  things that I, you know, I might miss.
• 10:46
  But one more sign as well, y'all?
• 10:47
  You can't like another sign that you're healing.
• 10:49
  You can actually imagine a life without them.
• 10:52
  You can imagine a life where you're healing, growing,
• 10:55
  thriving, and they're not involved in it.
• 10:57
  That's another sign that you're another sign that you're healing
• 11:00
  because so many people get caught up and I can't imagine a
• 11:02
  life without them. When you get to the point where
• 11:04
  you can, that's another sign of healing.
• 11:06
  Y'all so made it to the end of the video.
• 11:08
  Y'all make sure you haven't already hit that subscribe
• 11:10
  button because TikTok is supposed to be going bye bye.
• 11:12
  So if you only follow me on TikTok, you only watch the
• 11:14
  longer videos on here. Make sure you hit that subscribe
• 11:16
  button so you don't lose contact with each other.
• 11:18
  Check out my support group, check out other of my videos and
• 11:21
  I'm out. Peace what's going on beautiful
• 11:24
  folks. Thank you so much for making it
• 11:25
  to the end of my video. I truly appreciate it.
• 11:27
  You have no idea. If you haven't already, hit that
• 11:30
  subscribe button. You made it this far, you might
• 11:32
  as well subscribe. It really does help the channel
• 11:35
  y'all y'all? It helps me reach more people as
• 11:37
  well. Also, I have coaching my courses
• 11:39
  and my support group available at www.mentalillness.net.
• 11:44
  Thank you so much. Make sure you stick around,
• 11:45
  watch another video or two. I appreciate it.
• 11:48
  I'm out.