Latest / Daily Influence / 661. The Charismatic Advantage: Designing Connection Through Social Energy and Presence

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661. The Charismatic Advantage: Designing Connection Through Social Energy and Presence · Daily Influence

• 0:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to Daily Influence, your daily dose of positive influence.
• 0:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm Brian Smith founder of IA Business Advisors and co-author of the Iain team series.
• 0:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: Each day we share stories and insights to help you find be and build your influence in a positive and responsible way.
• 0:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm Greg Clino, partner at IE Business Advisors, and co-host of Daily Influence.
• 0:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: Be sure to follow, subscribe, and share Daily Influence with someone who could use a little extra positivity today.
• 0:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: And make us part of your Daily routine, whether it's during your commute on a walk or an quiet moment just for you, because you're influenced matters.
• 0:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: Welcome to Daily Influence, I'm Greg Collino.
• 0:51
  [SPEAKER_02]: Today, I'm joined by someone whose work is rooted in connection, presence, and the power of intentional influence.
• 0:58
  [SPEAKER_02]: Erin Smalls is a curiously talented host, DJ, and the creator of Charismatic Advantage.
• 1:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: the art of social energy.
• 1:08
  [SPEAKER_02]: As an executive host and experience architect, Aaron Blens leadership, music, and human insight to transform events into meaningful, high-trust experiences.
• 1:20
  [SPEAKER_02]: From his Nickelonian beginnings to major stages, brand activations, and broadcast studios, he specializes in crafting flow,
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  [SPEAKER_02]: elevating energy and creating environments where people feel seen, engaged, and connected.
• 1:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: Born in the Virgin Islands and based in New York City, Aaron brings optimism, culture, curiosity, and intuitive ability to read the room, whether that room holds 50, or 50,000 people.
• 1:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: Aaron, welcome to daily influence.
• 1:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: Alright, thanks for having me on here, man.
• 1:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: That was quite the intro there.
• 1:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: I love that.
• 1:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: Well Aaron, thank you.
• 2:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: Let's begin with your story.
• 2:02
  [SPEAKER_02]: Can you share a bit about your background and what led you from your early Nickelodeon days to becoming a host DJ and creator of charismatic advantage?
• 2:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, absolutely.
• 2:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: That is a very long story, but we'll give it as brief as possible.
• 2:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: Essentially, I started, I went to school in Orlando, University of Central Florida, and I went to school for engineering, and I was two, two and a half years in to engineering, and then that's where
• 2:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: that grew up in Orlando and stage managed that universal and Disney and all that stuff.
• 2:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: And Nickelodeon was starting these new shows.
• 2:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: And he said, hey, man, you've got this energy that's right for these shows.
• 2:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: Why don't you come out in audition?
• 2:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: I will influence it.
• 2:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: I won't say that I know you, you come out, you do it.
• 2:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: If you get it, you get it.
• 2:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: If you like it, you like it.
• 3:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: We'll just take it from there.
• 3:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: and I ended up getting the job and I started as a show assistant so as with an up whipped cream pies and Nickelodeon green slime and moving around these giant cartoon sized props and that's where I started and then from there that kind of changed my entire trajectory.
• 3:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: from this world of engineering into this world of entertainment, and I continuously say that I was betrothed to the entertainment world before I even knew that I was, and so that led me on my journey to where I am today because the hosting led me to DJing and that led me to acting
• 3:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I started at Nickelodeon because someone saw energy in me before I saw it in myself and The engineering was kind of the practical path, but then when I stepped into that Nickelodeon universe
• 4:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: It was like my entire world change, you know, someone put a mic in my hand in the whole world change because I got this feeling where it was just this power presence and connection and energy, all of that in real time and I was hosting these live audiences and I learned how to hold attention and lead a motion and from DJ, I learned how to read a room and respond to the moment and then you talk about the acting side of it
• 4:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: it's really how I started to understand how intention changes perception.
• 4:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: So all of those pieces kind of came together and there was influence there and it wasn't influences performance, it was influence as energy exchange between people and that is really what the through line of charismatic advantage is.
• 4:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: cares my advantage, art of social energy, it's a framework, and it's built on present connection, intentional impact.
• 5:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: And that goes for whether you're on a stage or you're in a boredom or you're having one on one conversations in the serial aisle.
• 5:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know, that's that's really when all of that was born.
• 5:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I learned that we really can architect these experiences and
• 5:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's my whole philosophy, you know, it centers on social energy.
• 5:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so that's a big part of who I am and what I do and cares about advantage and that's kind of the quick version of my origin story.
• 5:37
  [SPEAKER_02]: Well, it's clear your path has been intentional, but also shaped by people, communities, in moments of influence.
• 5:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, absolutely.
• 5:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: your philosophy centers on social energy.
• 5:49
  [SPEAKER_02]: How do you define responsible influence?
• 5:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: And how does that show up when you're reading a wrong, leading an audience or designing an experience?
• 5:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's a great question.
• 6:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: Responsible influence.
• 6:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: Man, there's so many people I'd love to talk to about
• 6:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: what responsible influence really means, um, but that is your job.
• 6:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's that's what you're already crushing.
• 6:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I, I love that.
• 6:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I feel like we should really embrace that more what responsible influences.
• 6:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: But,
• 6:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: For me, responsible influence is it's about reading a room with integrity and leading for presence, not ego.
• 6:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: That is one of the biggest things in this entertainment world and in a lot of different circles is that ego kind of gets a hold of us.
• 6:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so when I'm posting an experience or or I'm designing an experience, I'm constantly asking how does this
• 6:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: How does what I'm doing make people feel?
• 6:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: Do they feel seen?
• 6:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: Do they feel heard?
• 6:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: Do they feel safe?
• 6:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: Do they feel like themselves when they leave?
• 6:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: Because so much of the outside world gets weighted on top of us.
• 7:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then we start to forget who we are.
• 7:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: We start to just, we start to go on this path of what we're supposed to do, right?
• 7:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: The logical, like practical path, as I talked about earlier.
• 7:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm constantly asking those questions, and that's not just influence, that's stewardship.
• 7:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: I have these, I like to use a water order the year, and my word for this year is ownership and along with ownership, it's supported by author and stewardship, which is quickly summarized that it's essentially to do today and make tomorrow better.
• 7:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: So that's what I think about.
• 7:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: when it comes to responsible influence, so it's just, it's understanding that energy is contagious, you know, and whatever I bring into a room that spreads.
• 7:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: So my job is, is not to dominate attention or conversation or anything like that, it's really to direct it with care.
• 8:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: And that's what social energy really is.
• 8:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's awareness, it's intention, it's responsibility and motion.
• 8:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: responsible influence, you know, influence becomes most powerful when it's personal.
• 8:22
  [SPEAKER_02]: Can you share a moment or experience where you realized you made a meaningful and positive impact on someone's life through your presence or your hosting or your energy?
• 8:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, absolutely.
• 8:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, man.
• 8:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'd love to think that there's so many of these, there's these moments of impact and influence.
• 8:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think one of the ones that
• 8:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: stands out to me is a conference I was hosting, yeah, this is a good one, it was a conference I was hosting a while back and I was the MC, so as the MC, my job is is to
• 9:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: warm up the room, make everyone feel welcome.
• 9:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: I could go on and on about hosting and I'm seeing and all that, but essentially I'm there to set the emotional tone and get people ready and not just go over the agenda for the day, but really really open them up, really make them present here
• 9:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: Personally, I really connect with them before any of the strategies in the frameworks and any of those productivity hacks come out.
• 9:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I remember that one of the first mornings.
• 9:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm kind of laying out the picture of how to get the most from this event, the most from this conference.
• 9:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: And one of the things that I brought up was one of my favorite favorite quotes, which is from Jan Barry, who created the world of Peter Pan and all of that.
• 9:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: And that quote is the moment you, on paraphrase it here, the moment you cease to believe that you can fly, you cease forever to be able to do it.
• 10:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it's not just a metaphor, cute line, or anything like that.
• 10:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's this invitation for people to suspend their disbelief.
• 10:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know, to get rid of these limiting beliefs that we frequently have and we hear that voice repeating our heads that invisible whisper, that you're not ready or you're not enough or you don't belong here.
• 10:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: All of that starts to happen.
• 10:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: that limiting beliefs starts to cement in our head.
• 10:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I talked about this and I shared ways and methods and my mindset on limiting beliefs.
• 10:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: And this woman later in the conference,
• 10:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: She came up to the mic and she was talking and she was sharing how she was faced with a challenge and she was going to lean into that living belief and it was going to stop her and then she was like, no, she took a breath and she thought about what I'd said and she said that no, I remember what Aaron said about looting beliefs and and I've got this, you know, I I can do it, this is just that voice in my head, let me let me be confident with this and lean into it.
• 11:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I love that.
• 11:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know, I feel like that was my influence.
• 11:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: That was the ripple taking place there and my job wasn't to give her confidence to give them confidence.
• 11:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: It was to remind her to remind them that.
• 11:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: They already have these wings and they continue to have these wings and that's where the influence comes in.
• 11:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's it's not in trying to change someone but really reminding them of who they are already and that yeah, that they can still fly that's amazing to have the opportunity to see the power of the your positive influence on someone so quickly and those kind of moments where I reinforce or we show up the way we do.
• 12:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it's a great feeling.
• 12:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: In today's world, it gives us so many new tools to support that, such as AI.
• 12:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, hey, hi.
• 12:20
  [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, yeah, are you using AI in your work, whether for creativity, event planning, content development, community engagement, and if you are, how are you using it?
• 12:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know, I've I've done a number of like publications and a number of podcasts and that question is is the question presently everyone is asking about AI and and how it's being used and if it's something that I use in my field just like you brought up and I like to think of.
• 12:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: I like to use the analogy or think of it in terms of formula 1.
• 12:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know if you're a formula 1 fan, but there's a number of celebrities that I get compared to everyone's in a while when the light hits just right I guess and one of those people is Lou's Hamilton who's a formula 1 driver and so the way I think about AI and how I use it in my work isn't necessarily how people normally use it, I think about it.
• 13:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: like telemetry in a Formula One car, which is telemetry is that live stream of data.
• 13:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know, it's the tire temperature, break pressure, fuel levels, wind resistance, lap times, all of that technical stuff that people on the pit crew are going through second after second, really making these micro adjustments because when that driver is zipping down the track at 200 plus miles per hour,
• 13:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: these little things really make a difference.
• 13:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: So that's how I use AI and my work and in my realm, I use it more as telemetry, right?
• 13:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: It gives me insight and it can show me patterns and possibilities and give me recommendations.
• 14:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: And that's how I use it and telemetry isn't driving the car, the driver is driving the car, right?
• 14:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: the driver's taking that information and reacting to the road and the traction and using their senses and all of that.
• 14:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: So that's a lot of how I use AI.
• 14:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: I use it for preparation a lot of the time in the very beginning to think about things that I may not be thinking about.
• 14:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: Let me do some of the research to really tap into the why and the values of a
• 14:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then I take all of that information, I do the preparation for it and then when I get there and in my on that stage or I'm about to do that event in my hands or in the wheel, I let it all go.
• 14:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I just let my human presence take over, you know, because that's really what it's about.
• 15:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's about presence, that true human presence.
• 15:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: And that is what makes a moment.
• 15:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's what makes a connection.
• 15:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's what makes an experience absolutely unforgettable.
• 15:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I use AI to prep myself and to prepare and to gather all the information, because nowadays we have all of this information at our fingertips.
• 15:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: take a breath, I let it all go, and then I tap back into human presence because it's, that's what it's all about, is connecting with people on one and this authentic energy exchange.
• 15:37
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, technology may support us, but your work is deeply human.
• 15:41
  [SPEAKER_02]: So let's explore the human side of connection.
• 15:44
  [SPEAKER_02]: Your brand is built on authenticity, connection, and emotional intelligence.
• 15:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: stay intentional and maintain alignment while you're managing high pressure high visibility environments.
• 16:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's kind of it's gotten too full because I have the same with charismatic advantage, which is aane about you and a lot of the time I say that two people when you're on a stage or when you're having this interpersonal relationship or when you're
• 16:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: you're having this energy exchange, this ping pong back and forth.
• 16:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it ain't about you is about shifting that spotlight to them.
• 16:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I think before we can do any of that, we have to make sure that we are grounded, that we have our self-concept together, that our mindset is together.
• 16:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: Because that's the triangle that I play in all the time is thoughts or mindset,
• 16:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: that leads to the words that we say and then that leads to our actions.
• 16:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then we're kind of playing in that triangle frequently.
• 16:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I try to practice intentional presence, which means I leave myself before I lead others.
• 17:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: That looks like grounding myself before I walk in a room, clearing out any emotional clutter that may be there and just letting go of anything
• 17:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: me or the moment or the people that are in front of me.
• 17:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: So that way I'm going into it very authentically and I'm not performing.
• 17:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm focusing on serving and providing value and service requires this alignment and again, it's not ego like I talked about earlier.
• 17:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: So when I protect my energy and I know that my energy is grounded and ready to go.
• 17:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: then I can connect and really elevate others.
• 17:47
  [SPEAKER_02]: And connection isn't just created and big stages.
• 17:49
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's also shown up in leadership.
• 17:51
  [SPEAKER_02]: And as an experience, architect, you help people feel seen and understood.
• 17:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: How do you use your own influence to elevate others' voices, build trust, and create spaces where people truly belong.
• 18:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's experience architect.
• 18:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: I've worked my way up to that title of experience architect because that really is exactly what life is.
• 18:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's this sequence of moments that we're putting together in this flipbook of life and as we go through, that's creating our arc, that's creating our experience.
• 18:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: It isn't a fill space, it's the curate space.
• 18:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: And elevating others means, like I said, shifting the spotlight and asking better questions and creating environments where people feel safe enough to show up fully, right?
• 18:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: And
• 18:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: when they show fully that that creates a sense of belonging.
• 18:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: And belonging doesn't happen when someone is being impressed or or they're trying to be funnier any of these things.
• 19:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's when you show up authentically and you really connect.
• 19:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: And that's the space that I designed for if you will.
• 19:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and for those listening who want to grow in their own influence, what message or words of encouragement would you like to share with our listeners who aspire to make a positive difference in the world, whether on a stage in their workplace or in their personal relationships.
• 19:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that comes back to, I don't know if I said it already, because I say it so frequently, I often say, I don't need a stage to make magic, but it helps, because anything can be a stage.
• 19:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: It doesn't necessarily have to be at a conference in a ball room, this thrust theater type of stage.
• 19:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: It could be your kitchen when you're talking with your kids or your wife or your husband,
• 19:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: where your partner, any of that can be a stage and that influence that energetic exchange with people, it doesn't need to be loud.
• 20:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: You don't have to be an extrovert, you can be an introvert.
• 20:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: A lot of the times introverts are
• 20:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: the best of this because they really listen and that's what it's all about it's listening intentionally and it's it's hearing and understanding and yeah it's about being intentional and consistent and rooting yourself and care and really just being present and showing up in the moment and giving other others permission to do the exact same thing.
• 20:41
  [SPEAKER_02]: Aaron, thank you so much for sharing your insight and your approach to intentional influence.
• 20:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: Your work reminds us that connection isn't accidental.
• 20:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's crafted, nurtured, and elevated through awareness, presence, and genuine care.
• 20:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: If our listeners want to get in touch with you, what would be the best way to do so?
• 21:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, if they want to again, touch most of my social channels are at the air and smalls or at curiously talented, you can also reach out to me via email contact at air and smalls.com and that's that's one of the best ways to do and they can also reach out to you and find out how they can be on your show and you can get us connected as well.
• 21:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely.
• 21:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: Thank you so much for joining us today and for all the positive influence you're having in so many people.
• 21:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm so grateful for you Aaron.
• 21:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely.
• 21:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you so much.
• 21:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to throw a little a little snippet in there, which is I just love to share and say to people invest wisely.
• 21:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's something that if I had to talk to my younger self, I would say invest wisely and that's not just invest wisely financially, but invest wisely in yourself and invest wisely in people.
• 21:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: And that really is going to make the difference and stick to those positive thoughts and those positive words and those positive actions.
• 22:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: That's great advice.
• 22:08
  [SPEAKER_02]: Thanks for adding that, Aaron.
• 22:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: Thank you for spending a few moments of your day with us and daily influence.
• 22:14
  [SPEAKER_02]: Aaron's perspective is a powerful reminder that your energy is part of your influence.
• 22:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: The way you enter the room, the way you listen, and the way you lead, these choices create ripple effects far beyond what you may ever see.
• 22:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: Thank you for joining us.
• 22:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: And until next time, keep showing up with purpose, clarity, and responsibility.
• 22:34
  [SPEAKER_02]: Have a great day.
• 22:36
  [SPEAKER_02]: Bye-bye.