Latest / Arroe Collins Like It's Live / Stories That Build Connection The Podcast If You Can Hear Me From Ben Higgins

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Stories That Build Connection The Podcast If You Can Hear Me From Ben Higgins · Arroe Collins Like It's Live

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  Speaker 1: Have you checked it out yet? Ero dot net A
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: r r oe dot net. It's more than a podcast.
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: It is a collection of daily podcasts in one place.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: It's not that big of a choice. But if you
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: don't go there, oh what are we listening to today?
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: One of the hot features on ero dot net is
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: a show called pod Crashing and pod Crashing one on one.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: We actually talked to podcasters from all over the world
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: and on pod Crashing one on one, what we're doing
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: is we're putting focus on you developing your own podcast
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: and locating success. Ero dot net A r r oe
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  Speaker 1: dot net. Enjoy your exploration, Ben. I'm very fascinated with
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  Speaker 1: your process here in the way that you have discovered
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  Speaker 1: the art of listening or you've mastered it in the
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  Speaker 1: way that you're bringing real stories out. And I crave
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  Speaker 1: this stuff and I can't be the only one that
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  Speaker 1: consistently looks for real people with real stories.
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  Speaker 2: Well that's very nice, you know.
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  Speaker 3: I I've loved the process of listening to these stories,
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  Speaker 3: and I think that's why. I mean, I don't know
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  Speaker 3: if i'd say I'm a master of it as very
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  Speaker 3: kind of you to say to me, but I think
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  Speaker 3: It's very easy to get engaged into these like this,
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  Speaker 3: these moments because humans are so interesting. When you actually
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  Speaker 3: pull back the layers and you actually hear you know
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  Speaker 3: who they are as people, and why they think the
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  Speaker 3: way they think, and what things from their past affect them,
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  Speaker 3: and what things that they're from their past don't affect them.
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  Speaker 3: The conversation has become something so illuminating and fascinating.
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  Speaker 2: And I see just.
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  Speaker 3: Like beauty and brilliance in them, and so it's fun
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  Speaker 3: for me to be able to be a part of them.
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  Speaker 1: Do you believe in the mantra they're not happy to
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  Speaker 1: see me, They're just happy that I see them.
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  Speaker 2: Ooh, I've yeah.
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  Speaker 3: I think I mean, I think that puts a lot
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  Speaker 3: of weight right on me. I think every human desires
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  Speaker 3: It's kind of the title of the podcast, right if
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  Speaker 3: you can hear me in a lot of In a
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  Speaker 3: lot of ways, you could change it to if you
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  Speaker 3: can see me. I think every human just wants to
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  Speaker 3: be known, and they want people to take the time
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  Speaker 3: to actually get to know them.
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  Speaker 2: They don't just want the hey, how are you doing great?
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  Speaker 2: To meet you? Let's talk about the business reports from today.
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  Speaker 3: Humans are craving this desire for the conversation to lead
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  Speaker 3: to a place of tell me about yourself, and then
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  Speaker 3: to go from there to the can you just tell.
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  Speaker 2: Me a little bit more, tell me a little bit more,
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  Speaker 2: tell me a little bit more.
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  Speaker 3: We're creating that because we just want to share our
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  Speaker 3: experiences in life with others.
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  Speaker 1: See, I wish I would have been in those rooms
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  Speaker 1: when you when you talked with them. And the reason
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  Speaker 1: why is because I think that when people start talking
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  Speaker 1: about their history, they stare at their feet. It's it's
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  Speaker 1: almost like they're saying, I got a pair of shoes
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  Speaker 1: if you want to try them on, because I'm going
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  Speaker 1: to share these stories with you. But you didn't experience
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  Speaker 1: them with me, and you bring that out to where
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  Speaker 1: it feels like you put on their damn shoes. Dude.
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  Speaker 3: Oh well, you know I would love for you to
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  Speaker 3: be there as well.
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  Speaker 2: First off, that would be a lot of fun. We
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  Speaker 2: could do this together.
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  Speaker 3: You know. I had an interview at the very beginning
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  Speaker 3: of this with I was on a reality television show.
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  Speaker 3: I ended up with somebody on that show for a
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  Speaker 3: few years. We broke up and she married a country
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  Speaker 3: singer named Chris Lane. He was my very first guest
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  Speaker 3: on If You Can Hear Me, and I thought it
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  Speaker 3: was going to be one of those moments where he
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  Speaker 3: was staring at his shoes and it was super awkward
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  Speaker 3: and super weird, and it was hard to kind of
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  Speaker 3: pull anything out, and it just felt like we were
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  Speaker 3: dancing around this massive conversation that we should be having
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  Speaker 3: that we just couldn't have because neither of us wanted
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  Speaker 3: to approach it. And that conversation ended up becoming so beautiful.
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  Speaker 2: Not only did we approach.
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  Speaker 3: You know, the maybe the stuff that people would be
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  Speaker 3: shocked by, but we got to even further to our
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  Speaker 3: lives and how beautiful it is that relationships end so
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  Speaker 3: that new ones can begin, and what that means for
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  Speaker 3: him and his family and me and my family. So
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  Speaker 3: you know, I think for those moments of really that
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  Speaker 3: could be a little standoffish and awkward and maybe somebody's
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  Speaker 3: uncomfortable to be asked the questions that I really want
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  Speaker 3: to ask, it ends up becoming something beautiful when you
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  Speaker 3: actually can get to a place where these conversations are mattering,
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  Speaker 3: where you're digging in deep, because I think that's where
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  Speaker 3: the magic happens.
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  Speaker 1: So how do you even show prep for this because
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  Speaker 1: they sound so natural, your questions, They sound like that
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  Speaker 1: it would actually come up in a conversation if you
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  Speaker 1: were sitting in the front seat of my car.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, well, you know.
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  Speaker 3: I show prep by doing a deep dive on each
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  Speaker 3: one of my guests, deep deep, deep dive. And then
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  Speaker 3: I always spend a little time in prayer, which is important.
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  Speaker 2: To me and my faith.
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  Speaker 3: But my final step is really and I've only been
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  Speaker 3: doing this with if you.
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  Speaker 2: Can hear me.
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  Speaker 3: I have a pop culture show and I are radio
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  Speaker 3: called almost famous. I don't do this for that. I've
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  Speaker 3: only been doing it for if you can hear Me.
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  Speaker 3: I am doing this where I put the notes of
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  Speaker 3: the guests in front of me, and I kind of
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  Speaker 3: start to picture the conversation like people say picture your
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  Speaker 3: golf shot when you're golfing, like picture the shot you
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  Speaker 3: want to hit. I'm kind of picturing the conversation and
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  Speaker 3: picturing the questions I want to ask and almost getting
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  Speaker 3: a sense of, well, how would I feel somebody asked
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  Speaker 3: me that question, or what question would I want to
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  Speaker 3: be asked if this was my response to a story.
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  Speaker 3: And that's really helped me prep and It's also helped
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  Speaker 3: me build a deep sense of empathy towards the conversations.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, but when you start digging that deep, though, Ben,
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  Speaker 1: do you step into their lives? And then when that
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  Speaker 1: conversation is over, you go into post production blues because
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  Speaker 1: you've got to regain your strength. You just stepped into
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  Speaker 1: an area that wasn't you.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, I used to, and I don't know.
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  Speaker 3: Maybe you can help me guide me with this. I
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  Speaker 3: used to have these conversations on a previous show I
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  Speaker 3: did years ago, and I would feel very sad once
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  Speaker 3: the conversations would end, because you almost feel like you
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  Speaker 3: just build a new friend, and a lot of times
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  Speaker 3: it's like I don't know if I'll ever talk to
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  Speaker 3: that friend again.
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  Speaker 2: And then if you try to be friends with every
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  Speaker 2: one of.
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  Speaker 3: Your guests, you're going to be exhausted by the end
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  Speaker 3: of the work, so you can't really do that either.
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  Speaker 3: That's not really an option here. So I've built boundaries,
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  Speaker 3: but there has been zero every I guess I should
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  Speaker 3: say this way, Every conversation I've had on if you
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  Speaker 3: can hear me when I sit and think about it afterwards,
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  Speaker 3: has impacted me and as I process the conversation. There's
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  Speaker 3: been takeaways that I could tell you from each episode,
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  Speaker 3: Like if we ran down the list of episodes so far,
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  Speaker 3: I can say that that was my takeaway here.
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  Speaker 2: That's what moments stood out to me here. That's an
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  Speaker 2: issue like I remember, you know, disagreeing with this statement.
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  Speaker 3: Everyone has that and so for me, I'm more curious
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  Speaker 3: to say, are more interested in the pursuit of what
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  Speaker 3: can I learn also from this than I am to
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  Speaker 3: necessarily say, Hey, I need to carry some type of
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  Speaker 3: weight from this.
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  Speaker 2: You know, post episode.
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  Speaker 1: You're gonna think I'm totally weird here. But every time
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  Speaker 1: I listen to an episode and with you sharing your
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  Speaker 1: journey right now, I get this image of Jesus at
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  Speaker 1: the well with the woman. If he would not have
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  Speaker 1: taken the time to listen to her like you listen
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  Speaker 1: to people. Look what we would have lost, you see
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  Speaker 1: what I mean? Look at what we would have lost
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  Speaker 1: if you would not have taken the time to talk
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  Speaker 1: with him.
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  Speaker 2: Goodness gracious? I mean?
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  Speaker 3: Is that like that could summarize the whole purpose of
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  Speaker 3: the show, right It's to bring the secular and the
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  Speaker 3: sacred together to listen to each other.
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  Speaker 2: So listen more than we talk. You know, I've never.
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  Speaker 3: Been convinced of anything based coming from a place of
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  Speaker 3: anger or fear or you know, counting. It's all experience
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  Speaker 3: and it's all listening. For me, that's where I keep
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  Speaker 3: that's where my mind changes, that's where my heart is convicted.
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  Speaker 2: Jesus shows us.
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  Speaker 3: You know, the Christian faith right now, in a lot
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  Speaker 3: of ways, is doing beautiful things, but it's also known
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  Speaker 3: a lot for what it's against and not much for
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  Speaker 3: what it's for. And one thing I know it's for
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  Speaker 3: is to elevate the human story, to bring together people
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  Speaker 3: who might disagree and just say, hey, is there some commonality?
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  Speaker 3: Is their love flowing from this? How do we love
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  Speaker 3: each other better? And that's what I want to do here.
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  Speaker 3: I feel honored to have the opportunity to get paid
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  Speaker 3: to do it. I feel honored to have the opportunity
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  Speaker 3: to bring guests on and that they share an hour
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  Speaker 3: of their life with me. But ultimately, the whole purpose
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  Speaker 3: and the reason I would even do it in the
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  Speaker 3: first place, is because I think when we listen well,
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  Speaker 3: the human story can absolutely change us and captivate us,
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  Speaker 3: and maybe if we allow it, help us to become
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  Speaker 3: a little bit better as humans.
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  Speaker 1: I kind of giggle when you when you said getting
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  Speaker 1: paid for it, because right away, if we're gonna sit
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  Speaker 1: here and we're gonna talk about Jesus and God, no, no,
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  Speaker 1: that's your tithing coming back. That's the reason why you're
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  Speaker 1: making it. Because you're tithing gave you the opportunity to
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  Speaker 1: get what you've got. And now that you've got it,
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  Speaker 1: you're utilizing it and you're taking down the four walls
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  Speaker 1: of the church and you're bringing forward stories that help
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  Speaker 1: heal people. That's your tithing at work.
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  Speaker 3: It's I mean, and how cool if an opportunity is
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  Speaker 3: it to be able to do that, right, Yes, I
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  Speaker 3: mean it's so fun and uh and in today's world,
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  Speaker 3: and I'm not going to I'm not one to say, oh,
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  Speaker 3: today is so much different than the last fifty years, honestly,
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  Speaker 3: but in today's world, I do think it's easier than
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  Speaker 3: ever to have better conversations than ever across you know, continence,
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  Speaker 3: it's also more important than ever for us to understandferent
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  Speaker 3: cultures and different people.
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  Speaker 2: And to hear these stories. And now I can hear
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  Speaker 2: you know.
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  Speaker 3: I bet if I spent two seconds I could get
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: on Google Arrow and find your story. And that's a
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  Speaker 3: wonderful opportunity, but it needs to be done in a
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  Speaker 3: way that actually pulls out and captivates us and allows
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  Speaker 3: us to learn and listen more than it does just
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  Speaker 3: coming at us in a way that feels like somebody's
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  Speaker 3: trying to pound us over the face with their platform.
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  Speaker 1: Please do not move. There's more with Ben Higgins coming
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  Speaker 1: up next. The name of his podcast. If you can
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  Speaker 1: hear me, you can find it everywhere. We're back with
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  Speaker 1: Ben Higgins. I love those stories when they shock you
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  Speaker 1: with something. For instance, like I was with the members
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  Speaker 1: of the Sex Pistols and what they told me. They go,
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  Speaker 1: You've got it all wrong. You're believing what you read.
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  Speaker 1: You've got to walk through Ireland to see what these
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  Speaker 1: buildings still look like. And I'm going, I did not know.
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  Speaker 1: Until they share the story, we do not know. And
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  Speaker 1: you're opening that door, man.
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  Speaker 2: I mean, I think they're right.
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  Speaker 3: That's wonderful that you can pull that back and remember
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  Speaker 3: I mean until you've walked the shoes, until you've walked
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  Speaker 3: in the shoes, until you've walked to the places, or
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  Speaker 3: until until somebody unlayers.
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  Speaker 2: And unveils that the things that are complex in this
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  Speaker 2: world we do not know.
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  Speaker 3: And in goodness, there's many mornings or many afternoons that
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  Speaker 3: I spend going I.
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  Speaker 2: Don't know if I actually myself that, you know. So
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  Speaker 2: it's a consistent journey.
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  Speaker 3: It's constant, and it's wonderful, and it's one of life's
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  Speaker 3: deep mysteries and deep opportunities. I think it is a
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  Speaker 3: gift from the Lord above. I think community is a
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  Speaker 3: gift from the Lord above.
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  Speaker 2: Uh. It is one of the.
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  Speaker 3: Things that we should treasure and cultivate and dive into.
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  Speaker 1: Uh.
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  Speaker 3: And that's what we get to do on on shows
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  Speaker 3: like this. It's also the thing we get to do
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  Speaker 3: in our everyday lives with our neighbors, the people we
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  Speaker 3: run into is just to listen more than we talk,
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  Speaker 3: and to hear about what people are up to. It
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  Speaker 3: is something I hope to be able to do for
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  Speaker 3: the rest of my life and not always maybe in
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  Speaker 3: a career. But what I'm learning is I could probably
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  Speaker 3: do this even without the microphone in front of me.
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  Speaker 1: Oh my god, Well you're right about that. And I'm
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  Speaker 1: I'm gonna give an example. And this is I call
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  Speaker 1: this you just a word because I kept asking God,
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  Speaker 1: I need to be in a church. God, I need
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: to be in a church. I know, I go to elevation.
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  Speaker 1: I need to be something closer to the people. God,
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  Speaker 1: give me a give and give me. He put me
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  Speaker 1: in a damn grocery store. And oh yeah, And dude,
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  Speaker 1: I mean, you could not ask for what real community
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  Speaker 1: is the rich, the poor, the old, the new, the broken,
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  Speaker 1: the people that need to just laugh, They need to
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  Speaker 1: have just someone to be with them. And I swear
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  Speaker 1: to God I've been. You've been through my line. I
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  Speaker 1: know you have, because your stories tell me exactly what
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  Speaker 1: I hear almost every day.
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  Speaker 2: Oh wow, yeah, I mean I think that's like that.
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  Speaker 3: See if we were, if we were doing it back
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  Speaker 3: and forth here, I'd say, tell me some of those stories,
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  Speaker 3: right right, Like, what are some of the ones that
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  Speaker 3: stand out to you?
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  Speaker 2: Why'd that one stand out to you? How did that
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  Speaker 2: change you?
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  Speaker 3: Because just by you opening yourself up to hear those stories,
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  Speaker 3: now those stories are flowing in. They're all They've always
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  Speaker 3: been around you, they've always been around us, you know.
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  Speaker 3: But now in the mindset shifts, it feels like these
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  Speaker 3: stories just illuminate in a way and they stand out
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  Speaker 3: in a way that maybe I was missing before.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, but don't you, in a very proud and loving way,
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  Speaker 1: feel like, as a disciple of Christ, that you have
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  Speaker 1: to make yourself vulnerable because you know that faith is
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  Speaker 1: going to fill up those voice but you can't get
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  Speaker 1: to those stories until you become one of them. Or
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: like in martial arts, they always tell us, oh, so
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  Speaker 1: what if you're a third degree black belt when you've
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: got a class in there that's all white belts, you
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: are a white belt, not a third degree black belt.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: I mean I think Paul talks about it a lot
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  Speaker 3: of times in the Yeah that's like, you know, the
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  Speaker 3: general idea of what Paul is saying is like, hey,
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  Speaker 3: we need to try to relate with those around us,
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  Speaker 3: and we need to become like and then you you know,
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  Speaker 3: there's a list of likes from there on out. And
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  Speaker 3: so for me, yes, I want to become like the
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  Speaker 3: person that I'm being able to talk to so that
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  Speaker 3: I can relate with them, so that there's some place
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  Speaker 3: of comfort for them. And I think when I know
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  Speaker 3: I'm thirty seven now, when I was twenty three, I
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: felt like there was a pretty clear hierarchy in this world,
• 14:35
  Speaker 3: and then I was at the top. My engo is
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: pretty big, you know, I was pretty proud, prideful at
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: thirty seven. It's been consistently clear to me that I
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  Speaker 3: am not at the top of whatever food Jane I
• 14:48
  Speaker 3: thought if bought. And so for me, it's more of
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  Speaker 3: a place of coming in to just sit and relate
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  Speaker 3: because I know that nobody, nobody, when it comes to
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  Speaker 3: how we are as humans, is higher than the other.
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  Speaker 3: We're all in this together. We're all trying to figure
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  Speaker 3: it out in different ways. Some of us maybe have
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  Speaker 3: a sexier title to our name, or some of us,
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  Speaker 3: you know, maybe have like made a little more money
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  Speaker 3: or have a little more power.
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  Speaker 2: That's all fine and good.
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  Speaker 3: But the thing that I realize about humans when it
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  Speaker 3: comes to the human story is that we're all, you know,
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  Speaker 3: taking one step at a time, trying to figure it out,
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  Speaker 3: trying to deal with our own insecurities and our own traumas,
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  Speaker 3: trying to heal. And I just want to be there
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  Speaker 3: and be a part of the process that is the
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  Speaker 3: walk towards you know, the light.
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  Speaker 2: At the end of the tunnel.
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  Speaker 1: So, Dan, do you allow yourself to be weird? Because
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: according to Pete Holmes, You've got to reveal your weirdness.
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  Speaker 2: I want to.
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  Speaker 3: I don't know what my weird I know, honestly. I
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  Speaker 3: think that was one thing that came.
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  Speaker 2: Out of.
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  Speaker 3: You know, it's Pete said at a few times, and
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  Speaker 3: it's one thing that came out of that interview that
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: I questioned a lot on my walk that afternoon, was
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  Speaker 3: am I actually weird? Like? What do I have to
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  Speaker 3: do to expose my true self is? In a lot
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  Speaker 3: of ways, it's kind of what Pete studies when it
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  Speaker 3: comes to the mystics and the Desert Fathers, and he
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  Speaker 3: reads a lot of Richard Rore and Campbell, which is
• 16:16
  Speaker 3: like the shadow self, this self that is behind us,
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: that we that exists and that we know exists, but
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: it's a shadow of who we truly are.
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: It's not the real thing.
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: It's a shadow of And so for me, it is
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: a lot of work on, you know, my shadow self
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: and who my true self is, and trying to expose
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: those things so that I can truly say one day
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: at the end of my life, Hey, I was true
• 16:42
  Speaker 3: to myself. I was true to people around me, I
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: was true to my Lord and Savior, and I did
• 16:48
  Speaker 3: the best I could.
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: Man, you hit a subject on your podcast that really
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: need to be experienced by listeners. And that is when
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: when we think about, you know, some we lose something
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: in our life and we all think of a person,
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: and no, there's more than that that we're losing in
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: our life. It's just that we don't pay attention to it.
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: But you you really do cover the new normal after loss.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, it was like I got to hear
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: that again. I got it because there are so many
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: easter eggs inside that podcast where you're talking about that.
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: It's like you've got to listen to it several times
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: to pick up on everything that you guys share.
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: Well, I mean, Aero, it's for so many I think loss.
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: I mean, if you just think about right now, and
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: I don't want anybody to be, you know, going too
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: deep down to this, but if they if there is
• 17:34
  Speaker 3: a deep pain in your life, all of us have
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: experienced some pain. It oftentimes makes us feel very alone
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: and very isolated. So in a moment that actually connects
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: us to humans more than ever, which is pain. Everybody's
• 17:51
  Speaker 3: experienced some sort of pain, a thing that so many
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: of us could relate to.
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: We're actually in a place of pain ourselves.
• 17:59
  Speaker 3: It's very isolating because we feel extremely alone. So I
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: think for what I'm learning not only through the conversations
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: being had, but through the processing of it afterwards, is
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: one of the greatest things we can do to get
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: back on track is that vulnerability in the midst of pain,
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: to open up our stories so that we're not sitting
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: in a place afterwards of I don't know how to
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: move forward because I've not met anybody else who has
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: been in it before. It's it's I think there. I
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: could probably say pretty clearly that most of that. One
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: of the greatest things we can conquer in life is
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: the truth that you are not alone, and that's true
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: to all of us. There are people around that love you,
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: that care about you, that have been in it before,
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: no matter how you know how bad it's gotten.
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: Oh man, this has been such a blessing. But twenty minutes,
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: Lord is just not enough. With Ben, you got to
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: come back to this show anytime in the future, because
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: I swear to God, you and I are walking a
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: path that looks identical. It's different, but we're in the
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: art business of listening, and I just got I'm just
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: so proud of you.
• 19:11
  Speaker 3: Oh I'm well then, I'm proud of you too, Er,
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: thanks for having me. It's a big honor to be here,
• 19:15
  Speaker 3: and I'm happy to do it today.
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: Will you be brilliant today?
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: Okay, sir, I will you too,