Latest / The Spiritual Parent: Mindful Tools for Raising Spiritual and Conscious Kids / Bonus Mini Episode: 3 Steps to Help Your Kids Become More Mindful Through Connection

Transcript

Bonus Mini Episode: 3 Steps to Help Your Kids Become More Mindful Through Connection · The Spiritual Parent: Mindful Tools for Raising Spiritual and Conscious Kids

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Our child is always watching us.
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: If you're practicing what you're preaching, then sure, they're definitely going to try and change their mindset as well.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: But if you're like, hey, focus on the positive, buddy, and then you're going ah dang it, it's raining outside, what are we gonna do?
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: We're supposed to go to the zoo today for the field trip and, oh gosh, and you're in that mindset yourself.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Your kid is listening, even if he's down the hall with his nose in a book.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: My kid will come in and say, mom, why were you losing your temper?
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: What was going on?
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: What was where was the emergency?
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: What was that?
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: So modeling what that looks like with that positive mindset.
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: So you're not going to be upset about the weather.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: Maybe you are.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: You can say, oh, I had a moment.
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: Sorry, mom was in the right side of her brain.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: Let me kick back in to change that mindset.
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: We're going to pack the raincoats and the umbrellas, but we are also going to pack the sunscreen.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: We're going to think about the weather we want.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: Welcome to Heart, to Heart.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: Parents.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: Let's connect with our kids and learn together.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: I'm Keri.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: I was a former teacher and speech therapist.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: I'm also a parent of two spirited, gifted, highly sensitive kids.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: I was quickly brought to my knees as a parent when I thought that I would see a rosy lens version of parenting just as they present on Instagram, but I quickly learned that's not real life.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: I will provide real life experiences and transform them into moments for connections and change for you to use in your house.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: Hi there, conscious parents, it's Keri here with a bite-sized episode for you today.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: I decided to release a couple of these every now and then for you guys to get a little quick hit of great conscious parenting info with some great tools to build in your toolbox.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: So, if you like this episode or any of our episodes, we would love a five-star review and a few word rating just to give us a little support.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: It's an air five way for us to work together.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: So have a great day and happy listening.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: Hi there, today we're going to talk about using our hearts to connect with our children.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: When we're working with our kids to hear their own hearts, it's very important that we're connecting our heart with their heart.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: That sounds really complicated, but really it's listening to our children, listening to ourselves and watching for red flags of things going on in their lives.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: So I've included some steps today to help you get a better understanding of what that looks like for us in our house, what it looks like in other houses and how I've guided some other families to try this in their own homes as well.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: So one step that we have found is to meet our kids where they're at.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: So, for instance, if your kiddo is one belt away from getting black belt in his taekwondo class and he says, mom, I'm done, I don't wanna do it anymore, you can ask a few questions and encourage him to continue trying.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: But I like to get to the bottom of what's going on.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: What is in his heart?
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: What is this reason that he's suddenly taken this shift where he was motivated before and now something's changed.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: So we're not just going to shut the door and be done.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: I'm going to meet him when he's in a calm moment and he can talk to me about it.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: This is a true story.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: So after I started to ask my son what was going on in his life and why he wanted to close the door on this project that he'd been working on for three years, he told me it's making my self-esteem come down.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: It's making me feel bad about myself.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: I'm constantly corrected and I don't feel like I'm getting anything positive out of this.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: So if I would have just made him continue to go, what would that be doing to his heart?
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: So when we're meeting them where they are at, we are helping them to get their needs met.
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: Another example would be if you're doing dishes or you're folding laundry and your knee deepens something and your kid comes up and wants a hug, we don't necessarily know what's going on in their lives in that moment.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: We don't know.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: Sometimes they're three, sometimes they're four, and they're not communicating what their needs are.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: But putting down our projects, putting ourselves aside for a second to give our kids their hugs, to help them meet their needs, we are modeling what self-care looks like, what empathy looks like, all of these pieces that help us to hear our hearts better.
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: So that's one step is meeting them where they are at.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: Another step is helping them to find the positive mindset.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: We talked about this a little bit recently and I'd like to go a little further in it, and one example I have is our child is always watching us.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: If you're practicing what you're preaching, then sure, they're definitely going to try and change their mindset as well.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: But if you're like hey, focus on the positive buddy.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: And then you're going ah, dang it, it's raining outside.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: What are we going to do?
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: We're supposed to go to the zoo today for the field trip and, oh gosh, and you're in that mindset yourself.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: Your kid is listening, even if he's down the hall with his nose in a book.
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: My kid will come in and say mom, why were you losing your temper?
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: What was going on?
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: What was where was the emergency?
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: What was up?
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: So modeling what that looks like with that positive mindset.
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: So you're not going to be upset about the weather.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: Maybe you are.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: You can say oh, I had a moment.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: Sorry, mom was in the right side of her brain.
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: Let me kick back in to change that mindset.
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: We're going to pack the raincoats and the umbrellas, but we are also going to pack the sunscreen.
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: We're going to think about the weather we want.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: We are not going to think about the weather we don't need.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: And guess what?
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: That's happened to me a couple of times because where I live in Colorado, you never know what's coming with this weather.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: So weather is a big one for us.
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: But you definitely want to be modeling what you want your kid to be doing, and if you're not living it.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: They're not living it.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: So they're watching you at all times.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: Definitely, think about that for yourself.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: And also, if you're helping your mindset, it's going to help you connect better.
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: Right, it's not easy to just tune in and hear our hearts right away.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: It's a work in progress and it's something that you have to believe in yourself, especially when you're teaching your kid to believe in it as well.
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: So step number three is to help our kids find their passion.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: So we're following their leads.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: We're following what they're interested in.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: You can see what books they're reading.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: You can see what pictures they're drawing.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: What are they drawn to?
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: Some of us were given these gifts right when we're born and you can see it right away.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: Like my son, he's a great reader.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: He always loved construction equipment.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: Right when he was three years old, he was pointing to two wheels on a back of trucks and that was his thing, that was his jam, and from there on it was like building.
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: Anything with a yellow construction hat was very exciting to him and that was his passion was building.
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: Little did we know that one little Lego set would turn into 5,000 Legos in our basement, where our son will just go and build all day, because that is his focus, that is where he finds his flow state.
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: We are wanting to help everybody in life find our flow state.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: Don't we all want to have that flow?
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: Why don't we start early?
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: I knew when I was a kid it was with help.
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: People just started to draw it out in me that I could connect with other people heart to heart, and that was my gift as a kid.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: And I became a teacher, I became a speech therapist and I was very highly sought after in both of these areas before I decided, well, I'm going to try something different, I'm going to be a mom, I'm going to try some other pieces and I'm going to start teaching other people how to connect with our hearts too.
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: But it was people around me that started to say, wow, she's really good with kids.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: Wow, she knows how to talk to people, she knows how to connect, she is really strong in those interpersonal skills, intrapersonal as well, knowing ourselves.
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: So as we're following our kids, we're watching, sometimes it's not as evident Like, actually, my daughter is not as easy to tell what her gift is.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: Sometimes she doesn't have an ick factor, so we're like, maybe she'll be a doctor one day.
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: Sometimes she really wants to help care for people or animals.
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: Maybe she'll be a vet one day, but we're really just watching and we're really observing to see what she is drawn toward.
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: We're also providing opportunities for our kids in many different areas.
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: We're not going to pigeonhole them.
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: Hey, you liked hip hop one time, so we're not going to pigeonhole them.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: Hey, you liked hip hop one time, so you're not going to do it for the rest of your life.
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: No, we're still following that lead.
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: We're following what is their interest, what is their mindset?
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: What are they drawn toward?
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: What do they feel like they get into the flow with?
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: Is there anything there for them?
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: And it can change, because sometimes, when you're five, for them, and it can change, because sometimes, when you're five, you're really into dolls.
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: Sometimes, when you're six, you really enjoy hip hop or being boisterous.
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: That's my daughter, a little spicy girl.
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: So it's following our children, it's giving them their voice, it's finding the flow for them and allowing them, showing them how they can start to connect Now.
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: We want to lay this foundation early.
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: We don't want to start putting on the layers of the onion of trying to contain ourselves, to become what society thinks we may need to become.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: We want to allow our children to start, or we want to start fostering in our children what we want to see in them as adults.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: So let's start working on them now, or let's start helping them now to become the best versions of themselves.
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: We want to lay this foundation early.
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: We want to follow them, we want to meet them where they're at, we want to help them find the positive mindsets and we want to help them find their passion.
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: It can be hard and maybe it doesn't show up in a day, because building an intuition and listening to our hearts, that's like lifting weights.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: It gets easier with time.
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: There's 10 different modalities.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: Maybe your kid has one way of hearing it.
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: Maybe they're not following all the steps that you had to follow.
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: I had to learn Reiki to really tune in again as I became an adult, but maybe my son can already hear it.
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: We have to follow them and see and pay attention.
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: And don't forget you are the model, you are the one they're watching.
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: If you don't live and breathe it, why should they Peace out parents Bye.
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: Well, that's a wrap.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: Thanks so much for tuning in Changemakers.
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: This is Keri Peace outlifecom.
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: We also have a brand new website which we're super excited to share it's hearttoheartlifecom.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: Thanks so much for tuning in and happy life, happy times, changemaker families.