Latest / Skin Anarchy / Building A Mindset For Success with YOU ARE A BADASS Author, Jen Sincero

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Building A Mindset For Success with YOU ARE A BADASS Author, Jen Sincero · Skin Anarchy

0:02
SPEAKER_00: Hi guys, welcome back to anarchy.
0:05
SPEAKER_00: This is actually our 600th episode, you guys, and I have such an amazing guest here to launch a series that I am so excited about.
0:14
SPEAKER_00: It's something I've really wanted to do for a while.
0:16
SPEAKER_00: It's our version of what you could consider something that's like a book club.
0:20
SPEAKER_00: We're more focused on mindset authors and people who are really leading the way in this movement towards mindfulness and how we think about just life.
0:29
SPEAKER_00: So I really hope you guys appreciate this series.
0:32
SPEAKER_00: And I could not be more honored to introduce our guest today.
0:36
SPEAKER_00: She is truly a badass herself, and of course, is the author behind her own book series, You Are a Badass.
0:42
SPEAKER_00: I'm sure all of you have heard of it.
0:44
SPEAKER_00: So without further ado, please welcome Jen Sinchero.
0:47
SPEAKER_00: Welcome Jen.
0:48
SPEAKER_00: I'm so excited to be hosting you.
0:49
SPEAKER_00: I'm so excited to be here, and thank you for saying my name correctly.
0:52
SPEAKER_00: Oh you're welcome.
0:54
SPEAKER_00: No, I have that struggle myself.
0:56
SPEAKER_00: So I completely understand the importance of it.
0:58
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
0:59
SPEAKER_00: But Jen, I want to get started by learning all about you and what really led to You Are a Badass, the first book that you wrote in 2013.
1:06
SPEAKER_00: I know you guys celebrated your 10-year anniversary last year, and I just would love to learn about the vision and where it all stemmed from.
1:13
SPEAKER_01: It stemmed from my own personal journey, as do most of my books.
1:17
SPEAKER_01: I was having such a hard time financially forever into my 40s.
1:22
SPEAKER_01: And I read every self-help book under the sun and hired a coach and really got down and dirty with my wealth consciousness and did really work on my mindset and figured it out and started making money.
1:35
SPEAKER_01: And I was literally like, my God, if I can do this, because I was so such a professional broke person.
1:41
SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
1:42
SPEAKER_01: Like I had spent my whole life perfecting a poverty consciousness.
1:45
SPEAKER_01: So I felt like, if I can do this, anybody can.
1:48
SPEAKER_01: So I just really wanted to share what I had learned and what had transformed my life.
1:52
SPEAKER_01: And also, I was already a writer.
1:54
SPEAKER_01: I'd written a couple of books already.
1:56
SPEAKER_01: And after reading all the self-help books that were so incredible and so helpful for me, I was like, I could write a really good self-help book.
2:02
SPEAKER_01: I could write a funny one, learn cursey one or whatever.
2:05
SPEAKER_01: I sort of found a gap in the kind of book that I was sort of looking for that was a little bit more entertaining than quite so sincere as these other ones.
2:11
SPEAKER_00: But that's awesome though, because your book, I remember I read it.
2:15
SPEAKER_00: I was in my late 20s when I read it.
2:17
SPEAKER_00: I remember just thinking, you know what?
2:19
SPEAKER_00: This is literally the advice I wish any friend of mine or somebody I knew would give me.
2:24
SPEAKER_00: You know, you're always seeking advice.
2:25
SPEAKER_00: And I just remember being blown away by some of the insights that were there.
2:28
SPEAKER_00: And so I look at like, you know, I launched a series about mindset and mindfulness, right?
2:33
SPEAKER_00: And it really comes down to like how we're thinking.
2:36
SPEAKER_00: And I feel like your book kind of embodies that level of almost raising of your awareness.
2:41
SPEAKER_00: You have to start thinking of things in a different way.
2:43
SPEAKER_00: So I want to actually ask you, I know you mentioned like you went through your own journey, but then when it came down to like really getting these insights, were they things you wrote down along the way, like for years, or like how was that like putting that together in a book?
2:55
SPEAKER_01: Oh, my writing process is very panic-motivated.
2:59
SPEAKER_01: So I don't tend to start from a long time and you know, take notes and marinate it and work with my editor.
3:06
SPEAKER_01: I sit down in a panic and write the whole thing.
3:08
SPEAKER_01: So, but that being said, I was using all of the experiences that I had along the way.
3:14
SPEAKER_01: I mean, so much of it is I didn't come up with any of this stuff.
3:18
SPEAKER_01: This was all the stuff that I learned along the way.
3:19
SPEAKER_01: I'm just saying it in a different way.
3:21
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
3:21
SPEAKER_01: So I really focused on the things that I noticed really had an impact on me.
3:27
SPEAKER_01: And I do remember being like reading all the self-help books and going to all the coaching seminars, and I kept hearing that it's all about your thoughts, beliefs, and words.
3:36
SPEAKER_01: And I remember being so grouchy about that because I was like, seriously, I'm living in a garage at the age of 40, and all I have to do is change my thoughts, beliefs, and words.
3:44
SPEAKER_01: And I was really in a bad mood about it because it seemed easy, right?
3:47
SPEAKER_01: So that was the part when I realized, oh, the reason they're all screaming and yelling about this is because it's true.
3:53
SPEAKER_01: And so, you know, it's not beliefs and words inform your action.
3:57
SPEAKER_01: It's not that you just get to sit around and think and speak, create things, and it just lands in your lap, but it absolutely starts with mindset.
4:03
SPEAKER_01: And I just found that so cool that I wanted to shout it from the mountaintop.
4:08
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
4:09
SPEAKER_00: No, and I think you did in such a beautiful way because it really resonated with obviously like so many people.
4:13
SPEAKER_00: You've been a New York Times best-selling author for a while, and rightfully so.
4:17
SPEAKER_00: Your words are resonating in a different way.
4:19
SPEAKER_00: And I find that to be intriguing because I got into like, remember when like the secret came out and everybody was going wild over it, and it was like all of this movement of like law of traction happened.
4:28
SPEAKER_00: And I feel like everyone needs to receive that in their own way.
4:31
SPEAKER_00: And when I was reading You're a Badass, I remember thinking like, I distinctly remember being like, I feel like so many of my friends, my colleagues can relate to the way that this is worded.
4:41
SPEAKER_00: And so that's why I asked you that.
4:42
SPEAKER_00: Because I'm like, I think it's one thing to write a book, it's another thing to resonate on that higher level with people.
4:47
SPEAKER_00: It sounds kind of cheesy, but it's true.
4:49
SPEAKER_00: Like, like you said, this stuff is really true.
4:51
SPEAKER_00: Your thoughts matter.
4:52
SPEAKER_00: So that's why I was very curious about your process, you know, because it's very well worded.
4:56
SPEAKER_01: The way you'll that was sort of it too.
5:00
SPEAKER_01: And for anybody out there who sort of feels like the self-help stuff is cheesy and the woo-woo stuff is, you know, I was so too cool for school with all this stuff.
5:08
SPEAKER_01: But you know, you get to a certain point where you're like, you know, I can't afford to put gas in my car, so I gotta do something differently.
5:12
SPEAKER_01: So that's when I was like, fine, I'll read all these stupid books.
5:15
SPEAKER_01: They were amazing.
5:16
SPEAKER_01: But I remember thinking, gosh, why couldn't this be presented in an edgier way?
5:20
SPEAKER_01: Because I too would have started reading way earlier if it didn't have this sort of gooey feeling around this whole genre, which and I do want to really stress that all of the books I read totally changed my life, so I don't want to lambass them.
5:33
SPEAKER_01: But I was just like, why can't this be written in a different voice so that more people like me can receive the information?
5:39
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
5:40
SPEAKER_00: And I love that.
5:41
SPEAKER_00: So I want to actually go through like some quotes I pulled that I really loved because I think these are just they resonated with me.
5:47
SPEAKER_00: And I would love to get a little more expansion on them from you if you think that's cool.
5:51
SPEAKER_00: Because I think a lot of times we forget about just common things that help with our day-to-day of like how we're perceiving ourselves.
5:57
SPEAKER_00: I find that to be a common theme, at least in you know, my friends, my colleagues that I've seen.
6:01
SPEAKER_00: And I feel like, for example, on self-perception, you wrote something that really resonated.
6:06
SPEAKER_00: It was you're responsible for what you say and do.
6:08
SPEAKER_00: You're not responsible for whether or not people freak out about it.
6:11
SPEAKER_00: And I love that.
6:12
SPEAKER_00: I just I love that.
6:13
SPEAKER_00: And I would love for you to tell me a little bit more about that, like if you could elaborate.
6:18
SPEAKER_01: Right.
6:19
SPEAKER_01: Okay, so that is all about authenticity and all of us taking responsibility for how we show up in this world.
6:25
SPEAKER_01: And so I don't know about you, but I spent my 20s and 30s trying to fit in and please people, and most of my actions were based on insecurity rather than what was really authentic for me.
6:36
SPEAKER_01: And I remember I will never forget having this realization one day.
6:39
SPEAKER_01: I was like, my God, here I am, like bending myself in half, trying to please everybody.
6:43
SPEAKER_01: And I'm not even doing it because guess what?
6:45
SPEAKER_01: I don't know what they want anyway.
6:47
SPEAKER_01: So then I'm in a bad mood, they're not getting what they want, and nobody wins.
6:50
SPEAKER_01: So I was like, well, it's a lot easier to just be myself and de-do and have the things that I truly want.
6:55
SPEAKER_01: And then if it resonates with them, great.
6:57
SPEAKER_01: If it doesn't, that's on them.
6:59
SPEAKER_01: Taking responsibility for everybody else's feelings and emotions is none of your business, and it's exhausting and a big fat waste of time.
7:06
SPEAKER_01: So it really is, you know, you're responsible to other people.
7:10
SPEAKER_01: You've got to be respectful and nice and all the normal things, but you're not responsible for them.
7:16
SPEAKER_01: So how they react or respond is totally upset because guess what?
7:19
SPEAKER_01: You can say the same thing to five different people, and those five different people will have a different reaction to it, right?
7:24
SPEAKER_01: So it's none of your business.
7:25
SPEAKER_00: Oh my God, I love that you said that.
7:27
SPEAKER_00: I literally like, I feel like the other day, I was literally having this conversation the other day with someone, and I remember saying, like, I read this quote somewhere.
7:34
SPEAKER_00: I don't know if you've seen it, Jen, but it was like, There are as many worlds as there are people because everyone's perception is their own world.
7:40
SPEAKER_00: And I remember you know the quote I'm talking about.
7:42
SPEAKER_00: I don't know who said this.
7:43
SPEAKER_00: I know but it's a great one.
7:44
SPEAKER_01: I love it.
7:45
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, somebody said it at one point.
7:47
SPEAKER_00: I read it or I heard it somewhere, and I feel like that really resonates in what you just said.
7:51
SPEAKER_00: And it was actually another quote from your book that I had down was what other people think about you has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.
7:58
SPEAKER_00: That really hits home, you know what I mean?
8:01
SPEAKER_00: So I know what you were saying there.
8:02
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
8:03
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and so all that matters is how you feel about what you've done because when you do something crappy to somebody, you don't feel good either.
8:09
SPEAKER_01: So if you have integrity, that's really all that matters.
8:12
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
8:12
SPEAKER_00: No, absolutely.
8:13
SPEAKER_00: And I think a lot of times right now, especially I feel like with Gen Z, the way I'm seeing it or perceiving it from TikTok and social media and like all these things, there's a lot of emphasis on this, I guess, movement that they're having.
8:25
SPEAKER_00: That's I want to be my own person, but then we still have this era of social media where you're constantly putting your life here up there and then pondering over the comments and pondering over everyone's.
8:36
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think this is such a relevant topic for anyone who's experiencing that, thinking about that.
8:41
SPEAKER_01: So yeah, and it is something that really stops people from succeeding because they're scared.
8:45
SPEAKER_01: I mean, look what we do to our celebrities, just try and get pictures of them without their makeup on and start rumors and tear them down.
8:52
SPEAKER_01: So it is scary to go up there, which is why, again, if you can master this thing of really not giving a shit what anybody else thinks about you, and just coming from integrity and coming from joy, you are so free.
9:03
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, because they will.
9:04
SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
9:05
SPEAKER_00: I want to actually ask you, because I brought up Gen Z, and I think this is something I would love to hear your thoughts on.
9:09
SPEAKER_00: Is in the book, it said you have to want your dreams more than you want your drama.
9:14
SPEAKER_00: And I really love that.
9:15
SPEAKER_00: And I would love to hear your thoughts on that.
9:17
SPEAKER_01: Well, you know, we get so cozy with our excuses and we get so caught in this web of going for what's familiar and comfort zone.
9:26
SPEAKER_01: And I don't like the expression comfort zone because your comfort zone actually isn't that comfortable.
9:30
SPEAKER_01: Usually it's familiar though, right?
9:32
SPEAKER_01: So we like the familiarity, and so it's about your drama helps you stay mostly unconsciously.
9:39
SPEAKER_01: You create drama to self-sabotage so that you can stay back and so that you can stay in that familiarity zone.
9:45
SPEAKER_01: So your dreams are outside of that familiarity zone, and you have to want them and be willing to step out into the unknown and be uncomfortable more than you want your drama, which is going to keep you in that cozy zone.
9:57
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
9:57
SPEAKER_00: And I love this because I feel like for us, like a lot of entrepreneurs tune into the show.
10:02
SPEAKER_00: So I feel like this applies a lot to the entrepreneurial space because there's a lot of oh yeah, beauty, like there's a lot of angst here.
10:10
SPEAKER_01: Have you ever heard that create expression that says the best self-development course is starting your own business?
10:15
SPEAKER_01: Oh no, now I heard it though.
10:18
SPEAKER_01: You have to look at all your stuff.
10:19
SPEAKER_00: It all comes right in your brain.
10:21
SPEAKER_00: That is so true.
10:22
SPEAKER_00: That is so true.
10:23
SPEAKER_00: I love that.
10:23
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think entrepreneurs go through this a lot, though.
10:26
SPEAKER_00: And you start something and it turns into something else because things happen, life happens, and then you forget this quote that you have in the book about you have to want your dream.
10:36
SPEAKER_00: I don't know, that really resonates so hard with me because I know with medicine, I can tell you right now every day is different, you know, and you kind of forget like what is your dream?
10:43
SPEAKER_00: Like, what am I doing this for?
10:45
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
10:46
SPEAKER_01: Yes, which is why, again, surrounding yourself with really kick-ass people is one of the best things you can do.
10:51
SPEAKER_01: Because when you're alone with your head, that's a dangerous place to be.
10:54
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
10:55
SPEAKER_01: You know, so if you're around other people who are really supportive, who remind you, who energize you, and hold you up, it's one of the best things you can do for yourself.
11:01
SPEAKER_00: What does that for you at this point?
11:03
SPEAKER_00: Now you have this amazing franchise of these amazing books that are helping everybody.
11:07
SPEAKER_00: But what is it that you do, if you don't mind me asking, that keeps you in this place of being grounded?
11:13
SPEAKER_00: If you could share that with us.
11:14
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you know, I'm actually in kind of an interesting place with all that.
11:17
SPEAKER_01: I have to say, I'm 58.
11:19
SPEAKER_01: I've written the books.
11:20
SPEAKER_01: I'm sort of like, well, maybe I'll just do cross-tree puzzles and look at birds and go for hikes.
11:24
SPEAKER_01: Like, you know, maybe I'm which I was doing for a while, then I got really bored.
11:28
SPEAKER_01: So now I am in this awesome, awesome space of being like, okay, what is next?
11:32
SPEAKER_01: And what is gonna the fire under my butt?
11:34
SPEAKER_01: So again, I live in the middle of nowhere, but I'm going to New York City tomorrow and being around people.
11:39
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna see my agent and I'm gonna picture some ideas and staying in close touch with her, staying in close touch with some other writer friends of mine who are going for it and who are successful.
11:48
SPEAKER_01: Exercising is really good for me.
11:50
SPEAKER_01: Music is great.
11:51
SPEAKER_01: Listening to music that pumps me up can pull me out of any low frequency mood and raise it.
11:56
SPEAKER_01: But it really is being intentional about your environment.
12:00
SPEAKER_01: And we tend to just sort of flop around and go through our routine and just sort of day after day do the same things.
12:06
SPEAKER_01: But if you aren't feeling energized and you're not feeling inspired, you got to make the conscious effort to change it up.
12:12
SPEAKER_01: And it doesn't need to be a big whoop-de-doo.
12:13
SPEAKER_01: You can call a friend who always kicks your butt or you know, listen to a podcast, podcasts like this.
12:18
SPEAKER_01: There's so many resources out there, but you've got to be intentional with it or else you're just gonna be status quo.
12:23
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I love that.
12:24
SPEAKER_00: I'm so glad you're saying that because it is you're so right.
12:26
SPEAKER_00: I think we get so wrapped up in oh my god, the doom and gloom of it all.
12:30
SPEAKER_00: And it's just so easy to get sucked into that lifestyle, especially like I was telling you social media earlier.
12:35
SPEAKER_00: Like that, I feel like one of the biggest catalysts in my life is social media.
12:39
SPEAKER_00: Like every time I'm sitting on my phone just scrolling, I find myself in a place where I'm like, am I aware of my where am I?
12:44
SPEAKER_00: No, I'm not, because I'm sitting here just learning and going on a tangent.
12:48
SPEAKER_01: And that doesn't make me feel good.
12:50
SPEAKER_01: I don't know about you, but I actually stopped going on because it makes me feel slimed, is the best way I can put it.
12:56
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
12:58
SPEAKER_01: Like architecture and art and stuff, but there's just something about not being on earth, having my brain sucked into the computer, just does not feel great to me personally.
13:07
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
13:08
SPEAKER_00: That's exactly what it is.
13:09
SPEAKER_00: Like your brain being just sucked out of your body.
13:11
SPEAKER_00: You forget to do normal things, like go outside and so.
13:16
SPEAKER_00: But I want to ask you, because I know you had mentioned this earlier when you were explaining what led to the book and it's the relationship with wealth.
13:22
SPEAKER_00: And I feel like people have a lot of questions around this.
13:24
SPEAKER_00: I'm sure you get them, or people probably ask you all the time about this because I think that's what everyone's looking for advice on these days.
13:31
SPEAKER_00: How do I apply these principles, which is meant for like just higher awareness and really understanding yourself?
13:37
SPEAKER_00: But then how do I apply this whole thing to making my life more comfortable?
13:41
SPEAKER_00: Right.
13:41
SPEAKER_00: And so, like, I would love to hear your current viewpoint and what you think of wealth because I know there are some quotes in the book, but just to get your take on that, where you're at now, after writing everything and reflecting on it.
13:51
SPEAKER_01: I don't know if I understand the question.
13:52
SPEAKER_00: What I think of wealth, like your perception of how people view wealth and how our society is viewing wealth and then our relationship with it, like in a healthy way.
14:01
SPEAKER_00: How should we be looking at it in our own life?
14:03
SPEAKER_00: That kind of thing.
14:04
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's I was so excited to write You Are Bad Us at Making Money because I got so fired up about the fact that we all have such a craziness around money.
14:14
SPEAKER_01: Like I wrote a book about sex, I've never written a book about religion, but I know that's a big loaded topic.
14:19
SPEAKER_01: But I feel like money is the most loaded topic we've got going because we're all supposed to be good at making it.
14:24
SPEAKER_01: We all need it, whether we like it or not, but we are not allowed to talk about it because that's gauche, right?
14:29
SPEAKER_01: And we all have, if I told everybody, I'm gonna give you$10,000, you'd be like, woohoo.
14:34
SPEAKER_01: But if I told you to charge$10,000 for something, or that somebody charges$10,000 for a session of something, you know, all this stuff would come up about you just immediately go to a place that anybody who's rich is compromising their morals, that you're not worth that much, or you're ripping people off, or there's so much stuff around being wealthy.
14:54
SPEAKER_01: And really, money is currency and currency is energy.
14:57
SPEAKER_01: And I had to hear that about 500 times before I really got it.
15:00
SPEAKER_01: But if money is energy, all it is is energy between two people.
15:03
SPEAKER_01: It's just an energetic.
15:04
SPEAKER_01: So the shirt I'm wearing could cost$5 or$500.
15:07
SPEAKER_01: It's just the energy that somebody puts behind it.
15:10
SPEAKER_01: And whether my energy is at a certain frequency to pay$5 or$500, it's just energy.
15:14
SPEAKER_01: It means nothing.
15:15
SPEAKER_01: It's all make believe.
15:17
SPEAKER_01: What things cost is all whatever we make ourselves believe.
15:21
SPEAKER_01: So that really helped me when I was trying to understand how mindset related to wealth.
15:26
SPEAKER_01: So I wanted to start making myself believe that I, first of all, was worth charging good money and that I was giving something in return for good money and that it was okay to make good money and that I was still a good person.
15:41
SPEAKER_01: So that all in our conscious minds are like, sweet, bring it on.
15:44
SPEAKER_01: I'm ready to be rich.
15:44
SPEAKER_01: But we've got so much stuff underneath in the subconscious that is super duper freaked out about it.
15:49
SPEAKER_01: And that's why doing the real hardcore self-investigation.
15:53
SPEAKER_01: I put an exercise in both you are a badass and you're a badass at making money, that is the one where you write a letter to money as if it's a person.
15:59
SPEAKER_01: I don't know if you have that one, but you can.
16:01
SPEAKER_01: It did that blow my tan in mind.
16:04
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
16:05
SPEAKER_00: I've done that.
16:06
SPEAKER_00: It really did change the way I was thinking about my own stuff.
16:08
SPEAKER_00: And it brings out a lot too.
16:10
SPEAKER_00: It brings out a lot.
16:11
SPEAKER_00: We don't think about some of the belief systems we have around money and prosperity and stuff.
16:15
SPEAKER_00: And I feel like that exercise is something that for me definitely brought out a lot of those hidden subconscious thoughts that I've always had.
16:22
SPEAKER_00: And yeah, it's a very powerful exercise, actually.
16:24
SPEAKER_01: And I think today where we're living in a world where five bazillionaires are running everything and people just keep getting richer and richer, and other people keep getting poorer and poorer.
16:34
SPEAKER_01: The stigma around money is getting even crazier, right?
16:37
SPEAKER_01: Because these people, like, how much do you actually need, dude?
16:40
SPEAKER_01: So I think that it makes everybody feel even dirtier about getting rich because we see it in such ridiculous ways today that it's really important.
16:49
SPEAKER_01: We need the good, big-hearted people of Earth to be rich because money is power and you can make such beautiful change with it.
16:55
SPEAKER_01: So I really feel surprised.
16:56
SPEAKER_00: Oh my God.
16:57
SPEAKER_00: I love what you said.
16:58
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I completely agree with you, by the way.
17:00
SPEAKER_00: I know there's like literally three people running this entire planet.
17:03
SPEAKER_00: And even when you think they're not, they actually are.
17:06
SPEAKER_00: So you know, yeah, it's kind of scary.
17:09
SPEAKER_00: But at the same time, I think that's where self-empowerment really is a big player, right?
17:14
SPEAKER_00: It's like we have to find ways, like you said, those are the people that are out here with good hearts and really don't give a crap about genuinely donating to like, you know, poverty-stricken situations or something like where you're gonna make a change.
17:26
SPEAKER_00: People need to emerge in that realm and in that way.
17:29
SPEAKER_00: And I think self-empowerment, personally, this is my opinion, is at the core of that.
17:32
SPEAKER_00: And it's everything, you know what I mean?
17:34
SPEAKER_00: If you don't feel like you can make a difference, you're not going to.
17:36
SPEAKER_00: So I think that's that's right.
17:38
SPEAKER_00: I love your book because of that.
17:40
SPEAKER_00: That's honestly like I think a lot of the reason I gravitated so heavily towards you are a badass and the whole franchise was because it was this exercise of putting power back in my own hand in that way.
17:50
SPEAKER_00: And I would love for you to like speak a little bit about self-empowerment if you could, and just like kind of rant about it a little bit because I think people just need to hear the word sometime about what does that mean when you think of self-empowerment to you?
18:01
SPEAKER_00: Like, what does that mean?
18:02
SPEAKER_01: Self-empowerment to me means giving yourself the permission, first of all.
18:07
SPEAKER_01: Permission is huge, especially us ladies that feeling entitled to be do and have everything you desire.
18:14
SPEAKER_01: That's why you're here.
18:15
SPEAKER_01: You know, the word desire is literally day sire of God, whatever you believe.
18:19
SPEAKER_01: But your desires are different than my desires.
18:21
SPEAKER_01: Like it makes you who you actually are.
18:24
SPEAKER_01: And the most authentic thing you can do is allow yourself to go after your desires and grace this planet with who you are and why you're here.
18:32
SPEAKER_01: And so, self-empowerment to me is anybody who overcomes their BS around money, overcomes their people pleasing, overcomes, you know, the insecurity and all that stuff.
18:44
SPEAKER_01: Listen, I don't think anybody really, I don't care how much you meditate, overcomes it completely, but overcomes it enough to where you can allow yourself to figure out first of all who you are and what lights you up and really get clear on that without any outside input, and then go out and make that happen for yourself.
19:00
SPEAKER_01: That really is it, regardless of what anybody else thinks about it and regardless of where you're standing right now, whatever reality you're standing in right now, no matter how impossible it seems, allowing yourself to think those big crazy thoughts and going and doing it.
19:14
SPEAKER_00: I love that.
19:15
SPEAKER_00: I really, really love that.
19:16
SPEAKER_00: A follow-up question for you is did you ever have a moment where or one that you remember when you achieve a certain point and you stop wondering about the success, like in terms of chasing it?
19:25
SPEAKER_00: Did you have like a distinct moment where you were like, I'm content, like I'm good, you know?
19:29
SPEAKER_00: Like I'm not chasing anymore because I'm just curious, like if that was there for you.
19:34
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it was.
19:34
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I don't remember the day I was like, I'm not freaked out about money anymore, but I I'm not.
19:40
SPEAKER_01: And I'm telling you, it's so funny.
19:42
SPEAKER_01: I just had a friend visit me who I grew up with, and apparently I don't even remember doing this, but I wrote her letters.
19:47
SPEAKER_01: We wrote back and forth for like 10 or 15 years in our 20s and early 30s, and all of my letters are about how broke I am and how drunk I am, you know, all that stuff.
19:56
SPEAKER_01: But like they're all about freaking out about money.
19:59
SPEAKER_01: I was like, God, I can't even relate to that anymore, which is really, I cannot stress enough.
20:03
SPEAKER_01: Like into my 40s, I was still so scrappy, but now it's totally normal for me.
20:08
SPEAKER_01: And I feel, you know, I'm not as rich as, you know, whatever.
20:11
SPEAKER_01: But for me, Jen Sincero, like I have hit the number that I feel like I'm good with, and it's sort of the gorilla has climbed off my back.
20:18
SPEAKER_01: Although I will say I just bought a piece of land and I'm gonna build a house.
20:21
SPEAKER_01: So now I gotta make a little bit more money.
20:23
SPEAKER_01: And I was kind of psyched.
20:24
SPEAKER_01: I was like, okay, here's a fire under my ass.
20:26
SPEAKER_01: Now I gotta hustle again.
20:27
SPEAKER_01: So I'm pretty excited, actually.
20:28
SPEAKER_00: Well, I mean, hopefully the new adventure brings more tranquility in life and good vibes bring more, you know, good things.
20:34
SPEAKER_01: So that yeah, no, and maybe like the tranquility is great, but I also really love a challenge and I love being engaged and I love I love working actually.
20:43
SPEAKER_01: So I'm excited to have that motivation because one of the weird things, and this is such a quality problem, but I lost some of my motivation because I was almost always motivated by money because I had to support myself.
20:54
SPEAKER_01: So once that I was like, well, you know, I don't really have to, I could, but then the second it got challenging, I was like, Yeah, I'll just look at some more birds, you know.
21:02
SPEAKER_01: So I love that.
21:04
SPEAKER_00: Actually, I'm curious just your thoughts on this in general.
21:07
SPEAKER_00: I've always heard the phrase, we have first world problems in the West.
21:10
SPEAKER_00: I mean, obviously we do, we're not oblivious, all of us know that.
21:13
SPEAKER_00: But what are your thoughts about those kind of statements?
21:15
SPEAKER_00: Because I feel like sometimes they can be a little like I think they're true.
21:18
SPEAKER_00: There is such a thing as like first world, but I feel like sometimes we over-generalize being like in a state of like good.
21:24
SPEAKER_00: So, what are your thoughts around that if you were to hear that, these kind of blanket statements?
21:28
SPEAKER_01: That's such a great question.
21:29
SPEAKER_01: I feel like it is true, and it doesn't mean just because you're first world and we really are so, so charmed to have the lives we have.
21:39
SPEAKER_01: It doesn't mean then that you don't have feelings and emotions and that you can't have a bad day and that you should feel ashamed of yourself for not being joyful 24/7.
21:48
SPEAKER_01: So it's like, yes, be grateful and aware of it and appreciate the fact that you are so charmed and allow yourself to be a human being and to go through what you're going through.
21:58
SPEAKER_01: And you know, you're human, it's just the way it is.
22:00
SPEAKER_00: So, yeah, exactly.
22:01
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
22:02
SPEAKER_00: No, I feel like those kind of statements can be a little just annoying because it is.
22:05
SPEAKER_00: It's like for me, it was always like, I get it.
22:08
SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna sit here and deny.
22:09
SPEAKER_00: I mean, my family's from India, you know, they grew up in this place that the village and the rural area in those countries, and it's very humbling to say the least, right?
22:17
SPEAKER_00: But then it's like just because you acknowledge that doesn't mean that you have to belittle your own version of success or comfort or whatever you think.
22:25
SPEAKER_00: So I always found them to be a little challenging as well.
22:27
SPEAKER_00: It's like I felt like they were supposed to motivate me, but I wasn't feeling the level of motivation that's shaking.
22:34
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's kind of shaming.
22:36
SPEAKER_01: And also, I just want to say on the whole money thing, too, that the more you have, the more you can give.
22:41
SPEAKER_01: So it's like when entrepreneurs are starting out their business and they're giving the friends and family discount and sort of cutting their prices in half for other people.
22:48
SPEAKER_01: It's like I love the sentiment around that.
22:50
SPEAKER_01: But if you are struggling, all that does is max you out and make you exhausted because you don't have the reserve to give freely.
22:58
SPEAKER_01: So it's one thing that whole thing about putting the oxygen mask on yourself on the plane before you put it on somebody else.
23:03
SPEAKER_01: You've got to feed yourself because if you put the oxygen mask on other people first, you're gonna pass out, literally.
23:08
SPEAKER_01: And so I mean, I have worked with many entrepreneurs who are basically on the brink of passing out because they're so spread thin because they feel like they have to give back all the time.
23:16
SPEAKER_01: And it's like, listen, work on yourself, build yourself up, get yourself up there, and then give as much as you possibly can and as much as you want to.
23:24
SPEAKER_01: But doing it in the beginning is just asking way too much of yourself, I think.
23:28
SPEAKER_00: Yes, and I agree with you.
23:30
SPEAKER_00: I think I see that a lot actually, just through this podcast of interviewing such amazing new founders, right?
23:35
SPEAKER_00: And there's always this underlying theme, exactly what you're speaking about, which is just they want to give back, of course.
23:41
SPEAKER_00: I feel like they want to do what's good, but it's like, yeah, secure that oxygen mask for yourself.
23:45
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely agree with you.
23:47
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and use it as a motivation.
23:49
SPEAKER_01: Use that to motivate you to get successful and to get in it, you know.
23:52
SPEAKER_01: You can, of course, give the whole time and give in ways that aren't maxing you out, but maybe use that as a motivation to get as big and successful and have a clear idea of exactly what you want to give to who and when, and use that as a motivation.
24:04
SPEAKER_01: I mean, how fun is that?
24:06
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely agree with you.
24:07
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
24:08
SPEAKER_00: And also, I was gonna say it's kind of become a little peer pressury too, hasn't it?
24:12
SPEAKER_00: Especially in the entrepreneur space, I'm starting to notice there's some great brands out here doing some great charity work, and I applaud you truly hats off, but you don't have to feel that pressure.
24:22
SPEAKER_00: And I feel like sometimes we do, especially women.
24:25
SPEAKER_00: I know the women that I know in my life, as colleagues, family, whatever, we all have this underlying like, oh my God, we have to do the right thing, or like, you know, it has to come from this place of like, yes, I support.
24:35
SPEAKER_00: That's great, but there's peer pressure there a little bit.
24:38
SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna lie.
24:40
SPEAKER_00: Totally, totally.
24:41
SPEAKER_01: And listen, most people go into business.
24:43
SPEAKER_01: Most businesses literally exist because they help other people.
24:47
SPEAKER_01: No one's gonna buy your stuff if it's not gonna help them.
24:50
SPEAKER_01: I mean, you're helping just by doing what you're doing.
24:52
SPEAKER_01: So let's just start there.
24:53
SPEAKER_01: And yes, you should be paid for it and all that stuff.
24:56
SPEAKER_01: And if you don't want to give back, if you don't want to start a foundation or donate or whatever, like you can give back in whatever way works for you.
25:03
SPEAKER_01: This comes back to what we were talking about, to being authentic and really being doing and having what lights you up.
25:09
SPEAKER_01: And if giving back lights you up, which it does a lot of people, which is awesome, go for it.
25:14
SPEAKER_01: But if it doesn't, I just that's that's your desire.
25:17
SPEAKER_01: Like that's who you are.
25:18
SPEAKER_01: I think it's really important.
25:19
SPEAKER_01: But I do think most people feel better, the best when you're lighting up somebody else's life.
25:24
SPEAKER_01: But that can be in whatever way you choose it to be.
25:27
SPEAKER_01: And this peer pressure stuff is such garbage.
25:29
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, absolutely agree with you.
25:31
SPEAKER_00: No, I love it.
25:32
SPEAKER_00: And I think that a lot of people can relate to that.
25:34
SPEAKER_00: I I know you had in the original book there was some commentary on like the idea of fear, right?
25:38
SPEAKER_00: Like what is facing your fears?
25:40
SPEAKER_00: What does that really mean?
25:41
SPEAKER_00: And I feel like that also ties in here because a lot of times I've heard at least the feedback we've gotten from people that are maybe young entrepreneurs or new to this.
25:50
SPEAKER_00: I don't want to get left out.
25:51
SPEAKER_00: I don't want to be blackballed or whatever that might be.
25:54
SPEAKER_00: So I would love to hear just some words of wisdom from you around the aspect of fear in general.
25:59
SPEAKER_01: Right.
25:59
SPEAKER_01: Well, like fear of being judged.
26:01
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, like just fear of being judged.
26:03
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, anything like that.
26:04
SPEAKER_01: You're gonna be.
26:04
SPEAKER_01: I don't care who you are, I don't care what you're doing.
26:07
SPEAKER_01: There is gonna be some crabby ass person out there who you're gonna get judged.
26:11
SPEAKER_01: There's just no way to be human on earth without it.
26:13
SPEAKER_01: And so I find that kind of comforting, just really like, oh well, I'm not for everyone.
26:18
SPEAKER_01: I mean, believe me, I get plenty of hate mail along with the fan mail, but the trick is to really not buy in, just not to honestly give either anything, right?
26:28
SPEAKER_01: Because if you get too caught up in the fan mail, then you're screwed too, because you're getting all your self-worth from outside.
26:33
SPEAKER_01: So either direction, it's none of your business.
26:36
SPEAKER_01: Again, other people's reaction to you.
26:37
SPEAKER_01: It's just like, do I feel an integrity?
26:39
SPEAKER_01: Am I excited about what I'm giving?
26:40
SPEAKER_01: And do I feel like I'm helping the people I'm here to help?
26:43
SPEAKER_01: So any of those fears around judgment, if you can catch yourself when you're being hooked by it and just keep returning inward, like, do I feel like I'm an integrity and being authentic and being a good person?
26:54
SPEAKER_01: And that is all that matters.
26:56
SPEAKER_00: And so, yeah, yeah, I love that.
26:58
SPEAKER_00: I really love that.
26:59
SPEAKER_00: And I think it's something that we are all plagued with.
27:01
SPEAKER_00: I think a lot of times it's just this constant worry.
27:04
SPEAKER_00: And I always wonder because I myself have read a lot of what people used to call self-help books, and then I know the names changed over years, but like I've always been an avid consumer of that kind of information.
27:15
SPEAKER_00: And I remember like there's been so many moments where I'm like, you have to kind of force yourself, right, to do these like exercises, do these things that are gonna not, I don't want to say detach, but almost take you away from that state of existence that you're in when you are scared or you're in a negative place, like you have to almost train yourself out of it.
27:32
SPEAKER_00: I don't know if you're a big listener with Abraham Hicks, but I've been following them.
27:35
SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
27:36
SPEAKER_00: I'm set, right?
27:38
SPEAKER_00: Uh, it's been so long, and I've been listening to everything Esther puts out, and it's always comes back to the same thing.
27:44
SPEAKER_00: And I feel like it's literally changed the narrative.
27:46
SPEAKER_01: Well, and how exciting is that?
27:48
SPEAKER_01: That whole message and all the stuff we talk about, where you place your focus is a choice.
27:53
SPEAKER_01: We have the conscious choice as human beings to choose.
27:57
SPEAKER_01: Like right now, you and I can be like, holy shit, we're on a planet in infinite space.
28:01
SPEAKER_01: Like anything could happen.
28:02
SPEAKER_01: Like you get hit by a meteor.
28:03
SPEAKER_01: You could be freaking out 100% of the time very easily if you chose to, right?
28:08
SPEAKER_01: You could also be in a state of bliss 100% of the time if you chose to, where you place your focus.
28:14
SPEAKER_01: It's all around us all of the time.
28:16
SPEAKER_01: So it seems so simple, but it's so true.
28:18
SPEAKER_01: So when you place your focus and your beliefs, thoughts, and words, you mirror that focus.
28:23
SPEAKER_01: That's what we're talking about with this mindset stuff.
28:25
SPEAKER_01: Like, what are you gonna focus on?
28:27
SPEAKER_01: And so the whole thing of training your brain, I call it going to the spiritual gym, it is about putting some effort into it.
28:34
SPEAKER_01: And again, it doesn't need to be a big whoop-de-doo.
28:36
SPEAKER_01: It's like listen to music that pumps you up instead of makes you sad.
28:39
SPEAKER_01: When I was really working on my mindset, I put a moratorium on listening to Neil Young, even though I love Neil, but he's so depressing.
28:45
SPEAKER_01: So I was like, okay, he's not making me feel good.
28:47
SPEAKER_01: He's out for a little bit.
28:48
SPEAKER_01: And like, you know, and being out in nature and hanging out with the people who lit me up and meditating, and these are the spiritual gym practices, and it can be 15 minutes a day, but you've got to keep catching yourself and training your brain not to get lost in the hallucination of your quote unquote reality and being like, oh, wait, I'm in this situation.
29:06
SPEAKER_01: I have so many different ways I could be perceiving it right now, and I'm gonna make a better choice than the one I just caught myself in.
29:12
SPEAKER_00: Oh, I love that.
29:13
SPEAKER_00: I love that.
29:14
SPEAKER_00: So well said, and I love everything that you're all about.
29:17
SPEAKER_00: Genuinely, I love the way you think, and I think that's what's so magnetic about the entire franchise and you are a badass is absolutely one of my all-time favorite books.
29:26
SPEAKER_00: And I cannot thank you enough for coming on to the show, for doing what you do, seriously.
29:32
SPEAKER_01: Likewise.
29:34
SPEAKER_00: It's been great.
29:35
SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much, Jen, and for everyone listening.
29:37
SPEAKER_00: I hope you guys learned something in this episode and you found it to be interesting.
29:41
SPEAKER_00: But if you have not already, definitely make sure you go check out the first book, which is a beautiful yellow cover.
29:46
SPEAKER_00: You can't miss it.
29:47
SPEAKER_00: And we're gonna be linking everything in the concept card.
29:49
SPEAKER_00: So let us know if you have any questions and we can pass them to Jen's team.
29:53
SPEAKER_00: But thank you for tuning in and thank you, Jen, so much.
29:55
SPEAKER_00: This was such an honor.
29:57
SPEAKER_01: Oh, likewise, it was such a pleasure talking to you.
29:59
SPEAKER_01: Thanks.
29:59
SPEAKER_00: Hey guys, so I hope you love that episode.
30:02
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31:06
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