Latest / Silver FM 100.6 / Want to get pregnant? There’s more to it than you think

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Want to get pregnant? There’s more to it than you think · Silver FM 100.6

0:00
Speaker 1: It's so interesting to me how we think about pregnancy
0:03
Speaker 1: and sex, Like, if you don't want to get pregnant,
0:06
Speaker 1: it feels like it could happen so easily, basically if
0:09
Speaker 1: you let your guard down at all.
0:11
Speaker 2: Yeah, as a woman, especially like my whole life, you know,
0:14
Speaker 2: I'm thinking about that very first sex ad class that
0:17
Speaker 2: I think was like in seventh grade. The messaging was like,
0:20
Speaker 2: it is so easy to get pregnant, no matter how
0:24
Speaker 2: careful you are, no matter how much protection you use,
0:27
Speaker 2: you know, if someone just looks at you a little
0:30
Speaker 2: too long or whatever.
0:31
Speaker 1: Yeah, or you're like in a hot tub with a boy. Yeah.
0:35
Speaker 1: But yeah. Then for a lot of women, when the
0:38
Speaker 1: switch flips and they're actually ready to get pregnant, it
0:42
Speaker 1: doesn't happen right away.
0:43
Speaker 2: And they're like, what's going on, which is why.
0:46
Speaker 1: We're doing this whole episode about what it actually takes
0:49
Speaker 1: to get pregnant through sex. By the way, you're listening
0:52
Speaker 1: to Life Kit, I'm maryel Sagada and I'm talking to
0:55
Speaker 1: Life Git reporter Andy Tagle.
0:57
Speaker 2: That's right, and there's more to getting pregnant than you think.
1:00
Speaker 2: For some people it can be that simple, but everyone's
1:04
Speaker 2: going to have a different experience based on a lot
1:06
Speaker 2: of different factors to give you an idea from a
1:09
Speaker 2: statistical standpoint, at what's considered peak fertility. We're talking about
1:13
Speaker 2: people in their early twenties to early thirties having regular,
1:17
Speaker 2: unprotected sex to try and conceive. You only have around
1:21
Speaker 2: a twenty five to thirty percent chance of getting pregnant
1:24
Speaker 2: in any given month. Wow, I've been led to I know,
1:27
Speaker 2: isn't that I I was shocked by this, but as
1:29
Speaker 2: the experts that I talked to told me, that huge
1:32
Speaker 2: gap between what you're taught in high school or middle
1:35
Speaker 2: school and what you actually experience when you're trying to
1:38
Speaker 2: conceive can be.
1:40
Speaker 3: Really jarring for a lot of people.
1:42
Speaker 2: Here's reproductive endoconologist doctor Lucky Skon.
1:44
Speaker 4: A lot of people feel like their bodies are broken
1:48
Speaker 4: or that they've done something wrong. I've had patients even say,
1:51
Speaker 4: is it because I drank too much in college? And
1:54
Speaker 4: I think it is a very natural human nature tendency,
1:57
Speaker 4: especially for women. I might add, to kind of internalize
2:01
Speaker 4: things and blame themselves and take on more responsibility for
2:05
Speaker 4: things when in reality, so much of our fertility is
2:08
Speaker 4: not in our control.
2:10
Speaker 1: That's actually really helpful to know because I can hard
2:13
Speaker 1: relate to that saying Is it because I drank too
2:16
Speaker 1: much in college? You know? Did I cause this problem?
2:19
Speaker 2: Right? Is it me? But you know, maryel One antidote
2:22
Speaker 2: to feeling disempowered is information and this episode is absolutely
2:27
Speaker 2: fertile with no howp path that can help. If you're
2:31
Speaker 2: thinking about getting pregnant.
2:33
Speaker 1: All right, what are some of the topics you're going
2:34
Speaker 1: to get into.
2:35
Speaker 2: Well, do a little conception science crash course. We're going
2:38
Speaker 2: to cover the basic factors that can and cannot affect
2:40
Speaker 2: your ability to get pregnant. We're going to help you
2:42
Speaker 2: think about your timing.
2:44
Speaker 1: Lots lots more that's coming up after the break. A
2:51
Speaker 1: lot of us have basically a mini beauty products store
2:54
Speaker 1: in our bathrooms, and it's easy to feel like if
2:57
Speaker 1: you don't use the right serums, cream acids, and toners,
3:01
Speaker 1: you're somehow doomed to having bad skin. But do you
3:05
Speaker 1: really need all those products? Lifekit made a special newsletter
3:08
Speaker 1: series to help you figure out your skincare goals and
3:11
Speaker 1: what you actually need. Sign up at NPR dot org
3:14
Speaker 1: slash skincare or find the link in the description for
3:17
Speaker 1: this episode.
3:23
Speaker 2: One thing I do want to quickly note upfront for listeners,
3:25
Speaker 2: this episode is going to focus on the so called
3:27
Speaker 2: traditional way to make a baby, meaning through heterosexual intercourse.
3:33
Speaker 2: We want acknowledge, of course, there are lots of ways
3:35
Speaker 2: to make a baby and endless ways to make a family,
3:38
Speaker 2: and we plan to give that non traditional baby making
3:41
Speaker 2: its own spotlight with a companion episode to this one
3:45
Speaker 2: in the near future. So keep an air out, all right.
3:49
Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure I know why a lot of you
3:50
Speaker 2: are listening right now, So let's cut to the chase.
3:55
Speaker 2: You want to know when you should start trying, right.
3:58
Speaker 2: You want to know if you need to worry. Like
4:01
Speaker 2: if you were to walk into your doctor's office, you
4:03
Speaker 2: might say, I'm not ready yet, but.
4:06
Speaker 4: I want you to do whatever testing you can, and
4:09
Speaker 4: I want you to tell me if I'm good and
4:11
Speaker 4: how long I'll be good for.
4:13
Speaker 3: And I just want to make sure I'm not going
4:15
Speaker 3: to have any issues.
4:17
Speaker 2: That was doctor Lucky scon again. She's a New York
4:20
Speaker 2: City based and fertility expert and author of the aptly
4:23
Speaker 2: named new book The Lucky Egg, which is a fertility
4:26
Speaker 2: guide book of sorts. Lucky says she gets this request
4:30
Speaker 2: from patients all the time, and it's great to plan ahead,
4:35
Speaker 2: but the problem is there's no such thing as an
4:39
Speaker 2: all encompassing female fertility test, sorry to break it to you.
4:43
Speaker 2: No nasal swab, no blood draw.
4:45
Speaker 4: The best test for fertility is to try, which is
4:48
Speaker 4: the most annoying, unhelpful answer, right, But it's kind of
4:52
Speaker 4: this confluence of factors and you have to actually try
4:55
Speaker 4: and see how those factors come together.
4:58
Speaker 2: The first of those factors you need to understand and
5:00
Speaker 2: is the process of reproduction itself, because it can be tricky.
5:05
Speaker 4: Each egg that you ovulate each month is kind of
5:08
Speaker 4: like a long shot. So I feel like I need
5:10
Speaker 4: to get that put on T shirts because it's like
5:12
Speaker 4: one of my slogans at this point.
5:14
Speaker 2: And that leads us to our bit of a downer,
5:16
Speaker 2: but crucial to know upfront. Take away one Human reproduction
5:21
Speaker 2: is inefficient and not totally in your hands.
5:26
Speaker 4: I talk about it in my book as being a
5:28
Speaker 4: sort of reproductive slot machine, where pulling the lever is
5:31
Speaker 4: timing when to try, but whether everything after that lines.
5:34
Speaker 3: Up is so out of our control.
5:36
Speaker 2: This part ovulation, I'm assuming you already know about every
5:41
Speaker 2: cycle a single egg cell chosen at random, travels down
5:45
Speaker 2: the Filippian tube, where it can live for twelve to
5:47
Speaker 2: twenty four hours. Around that time or a little before
5:51
Speaker 2: you want to shoot some millions of sperm cells up
5:54
Speaker 2: the vagina through the cervix to meet it. Those guys
5:57
Speaker 2: can live in the reproductive tract for about the eat
6:00
Speaker 2: of five days.
6:01
Speaker 4: So there's this very narrow fertile window, this narrow window
6:05
Speaker 4: of opportunity each cycle.
6:07
Speaker 2: But get this, just getting the egg and sperm in
6:10
Speaker 2: the right place at the right time doesn't guarantee a
6:14
Speaker 2: connection will take place.
6:15
Speaker 4: It's like saying going on a date guarantees you're gonna
6:18
Speaker 4: find your life partner.
6:19
Speaker 3: That's not true.
6:20
Speaker 4: And the same is true of the chemistry between the
6:22
Speaker 4: egg and the sperm. And it's like maybe seventy eighty
6:25
Speaker 4: percent of the time the timing is right, an egg
6:28
Speaker 4: might fertilize successfully. This is extrapolation from what we see
6:32
Speaker 4: in an IVF lab where we really try to orchestrate
6:34
Speaker 4: that meeting happening.
6:35
Speaker 2: If sperm and egg do hit it off, there's still
6:38
Speaker 2: a few more hurdles before you've made it to the
6:39
Speaker 2: finish line. Only about half of the time a fertilized
6:42
Speaker 2: egg will continue to grow and make it to the
6:44
Speaker 2: next step, which is called the blasticis stage. It takes
6:49
Speaker 2: about a week. That blasticist then also has to find
6:52
Speaker 2: its way to the uterus. Sometimes it gets lost along
6:55
Speaker 2: the way, and once it arrives at the uterus, it
6:58
Speaker 2: has to implant and keep growing there.
7:01
Speaker 4: And so it takes a lot of energy, and a
7:03
Speaker 4: lot of them just don't make it to that stage.
7:05
Speaker 2: So suffice it to say, there's a lot that has
7:08
Speaker 2: to go right in order to get pregnant. It is
7:11
Speaker 2: no exaggeration to call it the miracle of life. And
7:14
Speaker 2: I know that all might feel a bit discouraging or intimidating,
7:18
Speaker 2: but it might help you set more realistic expectations. You
7:21
Speaker 2: minimize any shame and blame if you understand upfront what
7:26
Speaker 2: the odds are. According to the American Society for Reproductive Medicine,
7:31
Speaker 2: approximately eighty percent of healthy heterosexual couples will conceive in
7:36
Speaker 2: the first six months of attempting pregnancy. From there, stat's
7:39
Speaker 2: very a bit, but some recent cumulative conception research has
7:43
Speaker 2: shown some eighty five to ninety percent will conceive within
7:46
Speaker 2: a year, and ninety five percent will get pregnant within
7:50
Speaker 2: two years. So your next question, of course, what do
7:55
Speaker 2: you need to get pregnant? When you want to like,
7:57
Speaker 2: should you be running straight to your obi gun's office
8:00
Speaker 2: right this very minute?
8:02
Speaker 5: You know what I like, I like before even going
8:05
Speaker 5: to a doctor. It's like, learn about your cycle. I
8:10
Speaker 5: want you to know how long your menstrual cycle is.
8:13
Speaker 2: Doctor Sarah Oric is a mother of three and a
8:16
Speaker 2: reproductive psychiatrist, which.
8:19
Speaker 5: Means that I specialize in how female reproductive hormones impact
8:23
Speaker 5: mental health throughout the life cycle.
8:25
Speaker 2: She brings us to a quick takeaway too, to track
8:27
Speaker 2: a true period, get off a hormonal birth control. Now,
8:32
Speaker 2: tracking your cycle isn't hard to do. You start by
8:35
Speaker 2: just marking the first day of your period on a calendar.
8:37
Speaker 2: But this might be a bigger ask for some than others,
8:40
Speaker 2: because in order to track your period, you have to
8:43
Speaker 2: have one, and a true period at that, not just
8:47
Speaker 2: the light or complete lack of a period you might
8:49
Speaker 2: enjoy if you have an ID, the a regular spotting
8:53
Speaker 2: you might get with a depot shot or what's called
8:56
Speaker 2: with trawl bleeding, which is actually just a reaction to
8:59
Speaker 2: a drop in hormones, not a result of population. If
9:02
Speaker 2: you're using the pill, the patch, or a vaginal ring.
9:06
Speaker 2: So if you're using a hormonal birth control method, like
9:09
Speaker 2: other millions of American women, this first so called simple
9:14
Speaker 2: step might be.
9:16
Speaker 5: Less so you may find that the hormonal birth control
9:19
Speaker 5: was sometimes helping your mood. If you potentially had more
9:22
Speaker 5: pre menstrual symptoms, some of those might come back. Was
9:27
Speaker 5: helping my skin a lot, and I hadn't realized.
9:30
Speaker 2: It might not be super fun to remove the barrier
9:32
Speaker 2: to a lot of pain, discomfort or oily skin, but
9:36
Speaker 2: it can be extremely useful, even critical to your future
9:40
Speaker 2: reproductive health, to get an idea of your sensitivity to hormones. Maybe,
9:45
Speaker 2: for example, you find you have really significant mood symptoms
9:48
Speaker 2: in the two weeks before your period.
9:49
Speaker 5: There's a chance you have PMS. There's a chance you
9:51
Speaker 5: have pre menstrual dysphoric disorder, which is like really escalated
9:55
Speaker 5: mood symptoms during that time, And having all that information
9:58
Speaker 5: is actually important because sometimes t that PMDD can kind
10:02
Speaker 5: of have you in a risk bucket for maybe increased
10:04
Speaker 5: risk of pregnancy or postpartum depression or anxiety.
10:08
Speaker 2: Another thing about getting off of birth control, with the
10:11
Speaker 2: exception of the depo privera shot you're going to want
10:13
Speaker 2: to consult your doctor. If this is your chosen method.
10:16
Speaker 2: You don't have to plan for any ramp up time
10:19
Speaker 2: and getting off of it.
10:20
Speaker 4: Most people getting off of the pill will get their period,
10:23
Speaker 4: you know, pretty much within a month or so.
10:26
Speaker 2: Now I should say this isn't a hard and fast rule,
10:29
Speaker 2: like if you've been on birth control for decades. Lucky says,
10:32
Speaker 2: there is a minority of people that might need somewhere
10:35
Speaker 2: between three to six months to get their pituitaries to
10:39
Speaker 2: fully wake up and get back to work, so to speak.
10:42
Speaker 4: Having said that, there are many people whose bodies will
10:44
Speaker 4: just snap back into the normal routine. And so unless
10:47
Speaker 4: you're prepared to get pregnant or you're prepared to use
10:49
Speaker 4: a backup method, right like condoms, don't get off the pill,
10:54
Speaker 4: you know, if you're using it for contraception.
10:56
Speaker 2: Copy that all right. Now that you've brought back gampflow,
11:00
Speaker 2: let's learn what she has to share. Take Away three.
11:02
Speaker 2: Track your menstrual cycle for clues about your reproductive health.
11:06
Speaker 2: Sarah says there are a few good reasons why anyone
11:09
Speaker 2: with a uterus should track their menstruation. For one, if
11:13
Speaker 2: you do want to start trying for a baby soon.
11:15
Speaker 2: Once you have a general sense of the length of
11:16
Speaker 2: your menstrual cycle, it should be easier to pinpoint when
11:19
Speaker 2: you're ovulating, which generally happens around two weeks before the
11:22
Speaker 2: start of your next period.
11:24
Speaker 5: Start to learn do I have a twenty six day cycle?
11:26
Speaker 5: Do I have a twenty nine? Is mine pretty regular?
11:29
Speaker 5: I say, like even by ovulation test kits and see
11:32
Speaker 5: if you ovulate.
11:33
Speaker 2: Check in with your body for signs and then track them.
11:36
Speaker 2: One way you might have heard of is through your
11:38
Speaker 2: basal body temperature, which is just the temperature of your
11:40
Speaker 2: body when it's fully at rest. You want to take
11:42
Speaker 2: it every day as soon as you wake up, and
11:44
Speaker 2: then monitor for changes, because when you ovulate, your basal
11:47
Speaker 2: body temp will increase lightly and we're talking super slight here,
11:51
Speaker 2: like from ninety eight degrees to ninety eight point five degrees,
11:55
Speaker 2: and ovulation is likely over when that high temperature has
11:59
Speaker 2: stuck around for three days or more. Another way to tell.
12:02
Speaker 5: Learning what your cervical mucus changes. I mean, I think
12:05
Speaker 5: many of us ceiling owfs something's kind of different. But
12:07
Speaker 5: if you have that sort of white texture your cervical mucosa,
12:12
Speaker 5: it's likely that you're ovulating.
12:14
Speaker 2: Another important reason to track is to spot and get
12:17
Speaker 2: ahead of any potential problem areas. For example, if you
12:21
Speaker 2: always get terrible cramps or your period never arrives on time,
12:25
Speaker 2: that could be signaling something about your ability to get
12:27
Speaker 2: pregnant in the future.
12:29
Speaker 4: If they start to note early on that these patterns
12:32
Speaker 4: are thrown off and there really isn't a pattern, this
12:35
Speaker 4: tells us that it could be more challenging, and it
12:37
Speaker 4: makes sense to get to the bottom of what's going
12:39
Speaker 4: on now so that you have a plan to hit
12:41
Speaker 4: the ground running with once you are.
12:42
Speaker 3: In a position to start trying.
12:44
Speaker 2: Heavy, irregular or painful periods could point to potential threats
12:48
Speaker 2: to fertility like enemy triosis or polyps or pmos formerly
12:54
Speaker 2: known as pcos or these symptoms could be no problem
12:58
Speaker 2: at all, but you can't know until you start tracking.
13:01
Speaker 2: So do you have that first day of your period
13:03
Speaker 2: marked good?
13:04
Speaker 4: Now?
13:05
Speaker 2: Just do it again.
13:06
Speaker 4: Give yourself at least three months four months of tracking
13:09
Speaker 4: your cycle and collecting data to really be able to
13:13
Speaker 4: understand your reproductive rhythm reliably.
13:17
Speaker 2: A dot and redpen on your calendar and some notes
13:19
Speaker 2: in your planner are a fine way to start but
13:22
Speaker 2: there are lots of online tools that can help your too.
13:24
Speaker 2: Of course, if you go this route, be sure to
13:26
Speaker 2: note upfront how any interface will use and share your
13:29
Speaker 2: personal medical data. There are apps that can lock symptoms,
13:32
Speaker 2: predict fertility, help you spot patterns, even share your cycle
13:36
Speaker 2: tracking with a partner, which reminds me. Thus far, we've
13:39
Speaker 2: really only been talking about the person who carries the baby,
13:42
Speaker 2: but as we know, they're only half of this equation.
13:45
Speaker 5: I think boys should be educated around all of these
13:49
Speaker 5: issues as well. And then when it comes to fertility,
13:52
Speaker 5: it's really important to note that about fifty percent is
13:55
Speaker 5: male factor in fertility.
13:57
Speaker 2: Male reproductive health will jump into that break you're listening
14:10
Speaker 2: to life Kit and it's time for takeaway four. Fertility
14:13
Speaker 2: is fifty to fifty. Both sides can make lifestyle choices
14:16
Speaker 2: to boost their odds. So let's talk sperm, shall we.
14:20
Speaker 2: Where female fertility remains at least somewhat of a question
14:24
Speaker 2: mark until go time. I'll expand on that in a bit.
14:27
Speaker 2: Male fertility is extremely testable, largely non invasive, and the
14:32
Speaker 2: big one here.
14:33
Speaker 4: Is that a lot of the things that we see
14:36
Speaker 4: are reversible.
14:38
Speaker 2: Maybe you go in to get tested and your doctor
14:40
Speaker 2: says you have low motility or tells you that your
14:43
Speaker 2: sperm count is lower than the minimum threshold of fifteen
14:46
Speaker 2: million sperm per mile. Leader.
14:49
Speaker 4: I've had couples where the husband was like a professional biker,
14:52
Speaker 4: and that repetitive stress in that area we think led
14:56
Speaker 4: to lower sperm qualities, and they'll say, Okay, I'm gonna,
14:58
Speaker 4: I'm going to stop doing this.
15:00
Speaker 2: Then lucky you will retest two or three months later
15:03
Speaker 2: and see a big turnaround in the quality of the sample.
15:07
Speaker 2: Some other potentially reversible lifestyle factors for men testicular trauma,
15:11
Speaker 2: overly tight underwear, or other similar chronic scrotal exposure to heat,
15:16
Speaker 2: and yes, the rumors are true. Cannabis. Research shows cannabis
15:20
Speaker 2: is strongly linked to reduce sperm count and concentration, but
15:25
Speaker 2: the effects aren't permanent. The same goes for excessive alcohol
15:28
Speaker 2: consumption and nicotine in all forms. Top of the list
15:32
Speaker 2: for women who want to get pregnant in the near
15:33
Speaker 2: future is taking a daily prenatal vitamin starting at least
15:37
Speaker 2: one to three months before trying to conceive. Ingredients to
15:40
Speaker 2: look for include full of acid, iron, and DHA. All right,
15:44
Speaker 2: so now let's jump into lifestyle factors for both men
15:47
Speaker 2: and women to start, a general rule of themb.
15:50
Speaker 4: Whatever is better for heart health is typically going to
15:54
Speaker 4: be better and protective when it comes to your fertility,
15:57
Speaker 4: and also optimal in terms of setting you up for
16:00
Speaker 4: the healthiest pregnancy possible.
16:02
Speaker 2: You want to try to get in that recommended one
16:04
Speaker 2: hundred and fifty minutes of exercise a week, keep stress
16:06
Speaker 2: levels low, and follow a heart healthy diet as best
16:10
Speaker 2: you can. You know, eat the rainbow in forro Mediterranean style,
16:14
Speaker 2: high protein, low carb, lots of leafy green vegetables.
16:17
Speaker 4: Treating food as medicine is a real thing, and I
16:21
Speaker 4: think you know, making sure that you are getting enough protein,
16:25
Speaker 4: enough fiber because that actually helps stabilize your blood sugar.
16:29
Speaker 2: Lucky says this bit in particular can be impactful to
16:31
Speaker 2: fertility if you have a uterus, because if you're churning
16:34
Speaker 2: out too much insulin, it can act like a growth
16:37
Speaker 2: factor on the ovarase.
16:38
Speaker 4: Then can cause your ovaries to overproduce testosterone. And when
16:41
Speaker 4: an egg is going through an ovulation cycle and again
16:44
Speaker 4: when it gets fertilized, it's actually undergoing a massive amount
16:47
Speaker 4: of genetic reorganization.
16:49
Speaker 3: And that's where those errors happen.
16:50
Speaker 2: This is important advice for men too. Maybe you've heard
16:53
Speaker 2: that mountain dew or other sodas can shrinker sperm count.
16:57
Speaker 2: That's a myth. No research shows direct links to caffeine
17:00
Speaker 2: intake and fertility, but consuming lots of sugary drinks not
17:05
Speaker 2: a good idea for that blood sugar. Lastly, what about
17:08
Speaker 2: environmental factors BPAs, pesticides, heavy metals, and air pollution have
17:15
Speaker 2: all been shown to disrupt hormonal balances, which can in
17:19
Speaker 2: turn affect fertility overall. So do what you can. But
17:24
Speaker 2: also no, you can only do what you can because
17:27
Speaker 2: at the end of the day, as Lucky says, fertility
17:30
Speaker 2: isn't logical.
17:31
Speaker 4: There is no single lifestyle factor or something that they
17:34
Speaker 4: did which we can say this is the cause of that.
17:37
Speaker 3: At the end of the day, it's never someone's fault
17:39
Speaker 3: and it's very, very unfair.
17:41
Speaker 2: And the thing is, you just don't know where you
17:44
Speaker 2: fall until you know. Take away five. Timing conception is
17:49
Speaker 2: an educated guess at best. The only true way to
17:52
Speaker 2: test female fertility is to try to have a baby.
17:56
Speaker 4: A lot of it is age timing and our genetic
17:59
Speaker 4: make up.
18:00
Speaker 2: Let's take those in reverse fertility red flag number one
18:04
Speaker 2: genetic makeup. So if you have irregular, heavy, or painful cycles,
18:09
Speaker 2: hopefully you have a good idea of that one now
18:11
Speaker 2: or a strong family history of any other major kynecological issues.
18:15
Speaker 4: Whether that be endometriosis, fibroids, pcos. There's a major heritability
18:20
Speaker 4: factor there.
18:21
Speaker 3: If you have a first.
18:22
Speaker 4: Degree relative with some of these issues, it increases your
18:25
Speaker 4: personal risk by several fold.
18:27
Speaker 2: Next timing, if you're healthy and under thirty five, it's
18:31
Speaker 2: recommended you try to get pregnant on your own for
18:34
Speaker 2: at least one full year before seeking out any infertility treatments.
18:38
Speaker 4: If you're thirty five and older, you shouldn't wait longer
18:41
Speaker 4: than six months, and if you're in your forties, you
18:42
Speaker 4: shouldn't wait longer than the three month mark.
18:45
Speaker 2: Which brings us to our last factor and the TikTok
18:48
Speaker 2: of that pesky biological clock.
18:51
Speaker 4: A lot of people think of turning thirty five like
18:54
Speaker 4: being Cinderella at the ball, and it's like poof, now
18:58
Speaker 4: you know your carriage turns into a pumpkin, and that's
19:00
Speaker 4: just not what it is.
19:02
Speaker 2: Why age thirty five matters, according to Lucky, is that
19:05
Speaker 2: it's considered a turning point. So if you were to
19:07
Speaker 2: map out on a chart the health of your egg
19:09
Speaker 2: cells through your lifespan, age thirty five is when you
19:13
Speaker 2: start to see a downward slope. And what's happening is
19:16
Speaker 2: the proteins that keep the chromosomes in your egg cells
19:19
Speaker 2: lined up correctly slowly break down with age.
19:22
Speaker 4: But I want to say that nobody has perfect eggs.
19:26
Speaker 4: And even in our twenties, twenty to twenty five percent
19:28
Speaker 4: of embryos will have missing or extra DNA, and that
19:32
Speaker 4: increases to about maybe a third of them at thirty five.
19:36
Speaker 2: By thirty seven or thirty eight, your odds are more
19:39
Speaker 2: like a coin flip fifty to fifty.
19:41
Speaker 4: Now at forty this is where the coin flip. It's
19:44
Speaker 4: like a weighted coin and it's flipping in the negative direction.
19:47
Speaker 2: At this point, the split is seventy thirty, meaning up
19:50
Speaker 2: to seventy percent of the time an egg cell will
19:53
Speaker 2: have missing or extra DNA, So it's going to be
19:56
Speaker 2: harder to have a viable pregnancy naturally. The other a
20:00
Speaker 2: each component you might have heard about is the number
20:02
Speaker 2: of eggs you have available. Account is always decreasing, and
20:06
Speaker 2: it tends to decrease more rapidly around thirty five, and
20:10
Speaker 2: by the way, sperm age is two a little differently,
20:13
Speaker 2: but motility can start to decrease after thirty for example.
20:17
Speaker 2: And this is likely unimportant consideration if you're planning on
20:20
Speaker 2: assisted reproduction of some kind egg or embryo freezing or IVF,
20:24
Speaker 2: where egg harvesting is necessary.
20:26
Speaker 4: Because the more eggs I have to work with, the
20:29
Speaker 4: better the chance of getting what I need out of
20:31
Speaker 4: a given treatment cycle.
20:32
Speaker 2: We actually have a whole episode on egg freezing that
20:34
Speaker 2: can give you a lot more on that process if
20:35
Speaker 2: you're interested, and if you just want to arm yourself
20:38
Speaker 2: with as much information as humanly possible. There is one
20:41
Speaker 2: thing you can test that can provide some insight on
20:44
Speaker 2: the state of your egg reserve. It's called AMH or
20:47
Speaker 2: anti malarian hormone. It's a hormone produced by the small
20:50
Speaker 2: developing egg vollicles in your ovaries. But if you do
20:53
Speaker 2: get it tested.
20:54
Speaker 5: Be careful with some of those numbers because it's a
20:57
Speaker 5: full clinical picture that's really important.
21:00
Speaker 2: Sarah says. It can be tempting to put all your
21:02
Speaker 2: eggs in one basket, so to speak, to think of
21:05
Speaker 2: say egg or even embryo freezing as an insurance policy,
21:09
Speaker 2: or maybe a low egg reserve as a sign that
21:12
Speaker 2: you have no chance of conceiving.
21:13
Speaker 5: But you can't just use one outcome or one data
21:17
Speaker 5: point to kind of influence your all of your decision making.
21:21
Speaker 2: Sarah took the test and found she had low AMH
21:23
Speaker 2: for example. Those test results helped her and her partner
21:27
Speaker 2: make the calculation to start trying sooner rather than later.
21:30
Speaker 5: If I didn't have a partner, for example, maybe I
21:32
Speaker 5: would have frozen my eggs and that would have made
21:35
Speaker 5: sense to me and felt like, Okay, this is right.
21:37
Speaker 2: Lucky had her first child the traditional way, then decided
21:40
Speaker 2: to freeze embryos at age thirty four. When she struggled
21:43
Speaker 2: to get pregnant again in her late thirties, she used
21:46
Speaker 2: those embryos to have her second child. Which is all
21:49
Speaker 2: just to say, there's no one size fits all here
21:53
Speaker 2: and unfortunately no magic calculator to tell you the perfect
21:58
Speaker 2: time to start trying. But hopefully you now have a
22:01
Speaker 2: starting point or two from making this decision yourself. So
22:05
Speaker 2: you've tracked your cycle, you've cultivated your ideal baby making environment,
22:10
Speaker 2: you figured out exactly when you want to start trying.
22:12
Speaker 2: What's left on the checklist, Well, nothing to.
22:16
Speaker 1: It, but to do it.
22:18
Speaker 2: Take away six. Don't beat around the baby making bush
22:22
Speaker 2: before we leave you to go forth and multiply. A
22:25
Speaker 2: few last tips for some successful sexy time. First up,
22:32
Speaker 2: don't do what I just did and lead with a
22:34
Speaker 2: you wendo. Be direct about the change to your sex life.
22:38
Speaker 2: That doesn't mean it has to be a chore.
22:41
Speaker 5: Just setting expectations can be so important. I think we should,
22:48
Speaker 5: you know, have sex during these days of my ovulation window.
22:51
Speaker 5: Maybe we can plan some days.
22:53
Speaker 2: Now, how often should you be trying every day of
22:57
Speaker 2: the month? First thing in the morning under the light
23:00
Speaker 2: of the full moon, Lucky says, your most fertile window
23:03
Speaker 2: is the five days leading up to ovulation and the
23:06
Speaker 2: day of ovulation itself. So you could have sex every
23:10
Speaker 2: day of the month.
23:11
Speaker 3: But rather than burning yourself out.
23:13
Speaker 4: Unless I mean there are obviously some people out there
23:15
Speaker 4: that like this is what they would be doing.
23:17
Speaker 3: Anyway, I don't know those people.
23:19
Speaker 2: So your best bet sex on a daily basis the
23:21
Speaker 2: five days leading up to and including the day of ovulation.
23:25
Speaker 2: Another thing you might have heard is that you should
23:27
Speaker 2: save up all those swimmers until that window. You know
23:31
Speaker 2: hold out so that your sperm is extra strong.
23:34
Speaker 4: Nope, If you are abstinate for too long over a week,
23:37
Speaker 4: you can actually build up dead old sperm cells. They
23:41
Speaker 4: need to get out right, and so we actually recommend
23:45
Speaker 4: that they ejaculate at least within a week.
23:48
Speaker 2: That simple schedule should put you in a good position
23:50
Speaker 2: to make a baby. And hey, now that far on
23:52
Speaker 2: the topic, doc, is there a best baby making position?
23:57
Speaker 2: Like before during after?
23:59
Speaker 4: There are sexual positions that are more effective at helping
24:03
Speaker 4: you get pregnant than others. You don't have to have
24:06
Speaker 4: an orgasm, you do not need bed rest, you don't
24:09
Speaker 4: need to be in a certain position.
24:11
Speaker 2: So that covers the mechanics. A final tip, if you dare,
24:15
Speaker 2: try to enjoy the process together.
24:17
Speaker 5: I think it's also a nice time to reevaluate. And
24:20
Speaker 5: people I don't think do this enough of Like what
24:24
Speaker 5: turns you on is that you know intimacy meaning you
24:27
Speaker 5: know chores done at home? Does that mean a date?
24:31
Speaker 5: You know? Really assessing that for yourselves and being able
24:34
Speaker 5: to come together and how can we make this still
24:37
Speaker 5: meet some of the criteria even though there's some goal
24:40
Speaker 5: directed aspect.
24:42
Speaker 2: Okay, team, let's recap take away one. Human reproduction is
24:46
Speaker 2: inefficient and some of it just comes down to luck.
24:49
Speaker 2: Take Way two. To track your period, you'll need to
24:52
Speaker 2: get off a hormonal work control brace yourself. Take Away three.
24:56
Speaker 2: Get to know your cycle. It's important information whether or
24:59
Speaker 2: not you're ready to start. Take Away four. Fertility is
25:02
Speaker 2: fifty to fifty. Both sides can make lifestyle choices to
25:05
Speaker 2: boost your odds. Take Away five. There's no way to
25:08
Speaker 2: fully test female fertility, but factors like age, timing, and
25:12
Speaker 2: genetics can guide you to an educated decision about when
25:15
Speaker 2: to start trying. And Finally, take Away six, Trying to
25:18
Speaker 2: make a baby is probably going to change your sex life.
25:21
Speaker 2: Why not have some fun along the way?
25:24
Speaker 1: That was Lifekit reporter Andy Tagle Before we go, would
25:28
Speaker 1: you take a moment to rate and review us? Tell
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Speaker 1: us a favorite tip that you've learned, or tell us
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Speaker 1: what kind of episodes you like best. We love hearing
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Speaker 1: from you, and when you leave a review, it helps
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Speaker 1: the show grow. This episode of Life Kit was produced
25:41
Speaker 1: by Sylvie Douglas. Our digital editor is Malica Garib and
25:44
Speaker 1: our visuals editor is c. J Ri Kwan. Megan Kane
25:47
Speaker 1: is our senior supervising editor and Lauren Gonzalez is our
25:50
Speaker 1: executive producer. Our production team also includes Claremory Schneider and
25:54
Speaker 1: Margaret Serino. Engineering support comes from Sinila Fredo. Fact checking
25:58
Speaker 1: by Tyler Jones. Special thanks to Maria Goodman. I'm Marie
26:03
Speaker 1: el SIGAda. Thanks for listening.