Latest / Caught on the Mike... / "The Ghoulish Gal" Shanna Stoker

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"The Ghoulish Gal" Shanna Stoker · Caught on the Mike...

1:12
SPEAKER_00: Dennis Doker, welcome to Caught on the mic.
1:15
SPEAKER_00: How are you doing on this crisp where I'm at October evening?
1:21
SPEAKER_02: I'm doing great and I'm very jealous that it's crisp where you're at because I'm in Orlando and it is not crisp.
1:26
SPEAKER_00: Are you guys is it is it really hot out there right now?
1:29
SPEAKER_02: Today's the coolest day it's been.
1:31
SPEAKER_02: Like this morning I woke up and it was it was 70, and I shot myself outside with my cats and was and enjoyed my coffee on the porch.
1:39
SPEAKER_02: Um, but yeah, I could really use a nice, a nice uh 55 day right now.
1:44
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's my sweet spot.
1:45
SPEAKER_00: I was actually just telling somebody that today.
1:47
SPEAKER_00: It's like 55 to 65.
1:49
SPEAKER_00: I don't want it any colder.
1:51
SPEAKER_00: I don't want it any warmer.
1:52
SPEAKER_00: This is my my time of year.
1:54
SPEAKER_00: I am a middle American pumpkin spice bitch.
1:58
SPEAKER_00: I I love this cool weather.
2:01
SPEAKER_02: Uh I love it too.
2:02
SPEAKER_02: I'm just not from it, but I want it.
2:05
SPEAKER_00: Well, thanks for doing the podcast.
2:07
SPEAKER_00: And without any further ado, please introduce yourself and tell us all a little bit about who you are and what you do.
2:14
SPEAKER_02: Thank you so much for having me.
2:15
SPEAKER_02: My name is Shannon Stoker, and I am the co-owner and co-operator of the Ghoulish Garb.
2:20
SPEAKER_02: I go by the Ghoulish gal, see it all goes together.
2:23
SPEAKER_02: Um, and our our business is basically an online shop dedicated to creating unique designs, celebrating the macabre and witchcraft and Halloween and anything spooky and strange that happens to be very much a part of my personality.
2:37
SPEAKER_02: Also, cats.
2:38
SPEAKER_02: Cats are there too.
2:41
SPEAKER_02: Um, but we are best known for our Terror Tarot major arcana deck.
2:46
SPEAKER_02: We are working on another deck right now that is going to focus on celebrating very powerful female figures from different pantheons.
2:54
SPEAKER_02: Um, and so yeah, we have a lot of work ahead of us, but we've just had such a tremendous uh community uh, you know, supporting us.
3:03
SPEAKER_02: So that's who I am.
3:04
SPEAKER_02: I also uh I'm a singer, I'm an actress, and uh yeah, we'll get into all of that, I'm sure.
3:11
SPEAKER_00: The ghoulish garb.
3:12
SPEAKER_00: How did you drift into that?
3:15
SPEAKER_02: Well, I was kind of born into it, I found out, because I am related to Braum Stoker.
3:24
SPEAKER_03: Who is he?
3:25
SPEAKER_03: Who is that man?
3:26
SPEAKER_02: Brom Stoker, he's the author of Dracula.
3:30
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
3:30
SPEAKER_02: So, yeah.
3:32
SPEAKER_02: Friends in my blood.
3:33
SPEAKER_02: Um, but genuinely, pretty much right after I was born, I was born in March of '93.
3:38
SPEAKER_02: And by October '93, that's when Nightmare Before Christmas had come out.
3:42
SPEAKER_02: And my mother says that was my favorite movie, that and The Little Mermaid, of course, because you know, I call myself Persephone God mix.
3:50
SPEAKER_02: Um, but anyway, and I would just, I was obsessed with that movie.
3:54
SPEAKER_02: And so, yeah, it's it's it was always something I've been interested in even before realizing I was related to Braum.
4:01
SPEAKER_02: Um, I've always been kind of the spooky person.
4:04
SPEAKER_02: And to the to my detriment at some points, because even though I was bubbly and sweet, I still would have the occasional pair like dolls say, Honey, you're okay.
4:12
SPEAKER_02: Because I would be reading, you know, scary stories to tell in the dark and showing them pictures of the of the uh spiders crawling out of this woman's face.
4:20
SPEAKER_02: And like it was just I had some very odd interests.
4:24
SPEAKER_02: Um, so it was really it was amazing for my feeling of like identity when I found out that I was I knew I was related to Brahm, but when I found out his significance, I found out what he had done really for spooky culture as we know it.
4:41
SPEAKER_02: And so yeah, growing up with that knowledge has I think helped me better understand myself and to better celebrate my strangeness in a way that some other people aren't encouraged to do.
4:52
SPEAKER_00: Let's see, this is 38 episodes deep into my podcast, and I have had three paranormal experts on my show.
5:01
SPEAKER_00: So obviously, I have a little bit of interest in this as well.
5:05
SPEAKER_00: So, as far as paranormal and the supernatural, where is your belief structure fall in all of that?
5:16
SPEAKER_02: I have been having paranormal experiences since I was uh since for as long as I can remember.
5:21
SPEAKER_02: So I uh absolutely I'm a skeptic by heart, uh bar by nature.
5:26
SPEAKER_02: I really am.
5:26
SPEAKER_02: I try to debunk whatever I can.
5:29
SPEAKER_02: I try to recreate a sound or recreate um, you know, if something moved on its own, I try to see where the air is coming from.
5:38
SPEAKER_02: In a pipe, that kind of thing.
5:39
SPEAKER_02: I've I've learned about how EMF fields from your electrical box can give you similar feelings to the eeriness you might feel if you actually were around a spirit.
5:48
SPEAKER_02: There's so many different things I've tried to or that I've learned and tried to consistently do throughout the years to make sure.
5:56
SPEAKER_02: I mean, our minds are brilliantly powerful things, you know?
6:00
SPEAKER_02: So we have to be aware that our minds and our eyes and our senses can play tricks on us.
6:05
SPEAKER_02: Um, however, I have experienced some things that are absolutely undeniable.
6:09
SPEAKER_02: I've known things I shouldn't have known, things that weren't there but absolutely had historically happened.
6:15
SPEAKER_02: Um, that I was able to, I have a degree in history, so I had resources in the archives and things like that.
6:20
SPEAKER_02: Um, that I was able to, you know, corroborate the things I saw and or or experienced.
6:26
SPEAKER_02: And so it's just I've had too many of those experiences in my life throughout my life consistently to not believe.
6:33
SPEAKER_02: But like I said, you just need to don't take everything on the internet as it's a ghost.
6:39
SPEAKER_02: You know, like there's usually debunk things.
6:42
SPEAKER_02: It's it's very rare to get actual good footage, but it's there, you can find it.
6:48
SPEAKER_00: I find it really interesting because um there's a reason I asked that question, because I ask this of anybody that has an interest in that field, and every guest that I've had on previously, I've asked them the same thing.
7:01
SPEAKER_00: And the thing that's amazingly coincidental, or maybe it's not, is you have all kind of given the same answer.
7:08
SPEAKER_00: You're like, I kind of believe, but I'm not afraid to question everything that happens either.
7:15
SPEAKER_00: And that's that's it, I think.
7:17
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I really appreciate that because uh you know I don't feel you can wholeheartedly know absolutely everything about anything.
7:26
SPEAKER_00: It's give me a picture of the entire universe.
7:30
SPEAKER_00: Well, it's impossible.
7:31
SPEAKER_00: There's not a picture of the entire universe, exactly.
7:34
SPEAKER_00: So are you willing to share any kind of paranormal experiences that you have?
7:39
SPEAKER_00: Do you have any fun stories?
7:40
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I have quite a few fun stories.
7:43
SPEAKER_02: Um, I've had this gift.
7:46
SPEAKER_02: Um I genuinely believe it is a gift because it seems as though I I get sought out by spirits.
7:52
SPEAKER_02: So I've had that as a part of who I am for so long that it's just kind of you have to, I had to get used to it.
8:00
SPEAKER_02: But I will say, okay, no, no, I've got a scary one.
8:02
SPEAKER_02: I've got one that did scare me.
8:03
SPEAKER_02: It scared me really badly.
8:05
SPEAKER_02: Like I could not sleep.
8:07
SPEAKER_02: Was before I had really decided, like, this was the the episode that started.
8:14
SPEAKER_02: I left this school um that I was in my my freshman year, partially because of all the paranormal experiences I was having.
8:22
SPEAKER_02: Very negative ones too.
8:24
SPEAKER_02: They did not feel they felt very malignant.
8:27
SPEAKER_02: Um, and then let's see what else.
8:31
SPEAKER_02: Um, but yeah, it started me leaving that school.
8:34
SPEAKER_02: Uh, and it also started me really working on my abilities to learn because I was like, this isn't going away.
8:42
SPEAKER_02: So, and it was getting more intense.
8:45
SPEAKER_02: Um, so I was like, I either have to learn how to control it, how to deal with it, how to work with it, and how to not be afraid, or I'm gonna go crazy.
8:54
SPEAKER_02: Like I have to deal with this.
8:56
SPEAKER_02: So, what happened was it was okay, so I was a music major at the University of Montevallo in Alabama, Monte Valo, Alabama.
9:07
SPEAKER_02: It is a notoriously very haunted school, extremely haunted.
9:15
SPEAKER_02: Like, just to give you an example, there's just it's like a I felt, and I know so many people from this school who absolutely loved it, and it's wonderful.
9:26
SPEAKER_02: But as somebody in my experience who has tapped into something beyond, it felt like there was this dark cloud that was just ever present over that town, and it's a tiny little town.
9:41
SPEAKER_02: And yeah, there was just a lot of really there were a lot of deaths in such a tiny town.
9:48
SPEAKER_02: Um, and the one year I was there, I had a friend commit suicide.
9:52
SPEAKER_02: I had another friend die in a tragic car accident, and um, I learned that all around the school, at least in three, I want to say three different locations, there are trees planted with a plaque uh where students have killed themselves, flung themselves from windows or whatever on the campus.
10:16
SPEAKER_02: So, anyway, there's lots of hauntings there.
10:19
SPEAKER_02: It's one of the appeals, it was one of the appeals for me was like, oh, and it's spooky, cool.
10:23
SPEAKER_02: You know, it wasn't it was yeah, uh, I was I was not prepared.
10:28
SPEAKER_02: Um so basically it was around Halloween, and uh I was I was a music major, so we had a big choir thing going on, and after one of the performances, uh a group of my friends and I decided to go on a little haunt tour of the campus with one of our friends who was in his doctoral program.
10:48
SPEAKER_02: Um, so he'd been there for like eight years.
10:50
SPEAKER_02: Uh so he knew, and he was like me, loved paranormal and he loved um history.
10:56
SPEAKER_02: So we had done a lot of research.
10:58
SPEAKER_02: Well, he takes us on this tour.
11:01
SPEAKER_02: We find out that the entire campus used to be a plantation.
11:05
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
11:06
SPEAKER_02: Red flag one.
11:08
SPEAKER_02: Um, so the entire grounds was a plantation.
11:13
SPEAKER_02: That's a lot to take in.
11:15
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, for sure.
11:17
SPEAKER_02: The plantation home, the same home of like was the mansion for the president.
11:27
SPEAKER_02: So there are original structures as part of the campus, including one of his guest houses called King House, or what we called King House because it was named after Mr.
11:37
SPEAKER_02: King, who was the owner of the plantation.
11:40
SPEAKER_02: And they used that guest house for functions, parties.
11:46
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes you they might have um big people go and stay in, you know, stay in the house, which I don't know how actually I don't no, no, they don't let anybody stay in the house anymore because it was so haunted.
11:56
SPEAKER_02: In fact, this house, and I don't remember what what movie it's from, but something that happened in this house was the um inspiration behind a really famous film scene where like all of the furniture is upside down on the ceiling or something.
12:12
SPEAKER_02: Um, because supposedly that happened, you know, and I'm I'm a skeptic, I don't know that that happened, but that was supposedly you know the story we had heard.
12:21
SPEAKER_02: And anyway, so we're going through, oh, and also are these tunnels from the Civil War uh all up throughout the campus that have just been completely shut up.
12:35
SPEAKER_02: Um and I also found out that Reynolds Theater that we that I I was a music major and a theater major, so I was a double major, which means I spent a lot of time in that theater, um was a war hospital at one point, but the general had to go fight because he had so many men down.
12:54
SPEAKER_02: So while he was away, uh the hospital was raided and everyone was massacred.
12:59
SPEAKER_03: Oh wow.
13:00
SPEAKER_02: So yeah, like just a ton of death.
13:02
SPEAKER_02: Okay, but then there was this story about the Mr.
13:08
SPEAKER_02: King's daughter.
13:10
SPEAKER_02: Okay, so we are going through campus, we've learned all this stuff.
13:12
SPEAKER_02: There's even more that I'm not telling you about because it's just all stories of their own.
13:17
SPEAKER_02: But my personal experience was when we got to King House.
13:20
SPEAKER_02: So we're standing, I'd say 200 feet away from the front door because like we won't go any closer.
13:29
SPEAKER_02: Um there is here's the story, and I know a lot of it is legend and lore.
13:36
SPEAKER_02: I'm just gonna just I'm just gonna relay the story.
13:41
SPEAKER_02: Okay, so the story is that Mr.
13:44
SPEAKER_02: King had a daughter, and Mr.
13:47
SPEAKER_02: King, I don't think was uh, you know, he was known for for not exactly treating his enslaved people, the or not his, but the people that he had enslaved, um, very well.
14:00
SPEAKER_02: So evidently one man got very angry and supposedly took King's daughter, I think because his daughter had died, got sick or something, um, and he blamed King.
14:18
SPEAKER_02: So he took King's daughter to this house and murdered her, supposedly, and then killed himself because he didn't want to live without his daughter anymore.
14:27
SPEAKER_02: Um, and King went out that night looking for his daughter, and he went out with his lantern um and found her body, found their bodies in the house.
14:41
SPEAKER_02: So the house is extremely haunted, and everybody says that it's haunted by the two who died there, and that King haunts the grounds still looking for his daughter.
14:54
SPEAKER_02: Um, but he can't go inside, or I don't know.
14:57
SPEAKER_02: Anyway, so some the sometimes like you'll just see one random light in the middle of the night.
15:03
SPEAKER_02: You'll just see like one random light on in King House.
15:06
SPEAKER_02: Now, what's my logical brain thinking?
15:09
SPEAKER_02: Nighttime somebody is uh cleaning, you know, it's nighttime, they're doing cleaning, but you know, they also say no, the janitorial staff doesn't decide or does not go in there at night because it's so scary, like it's locked up heavily.
15:23
SPEAKER_02: You only use it for events, there's no reason to clean it during the middle of the night because nobody ever goes in there.
15:28
SPEAKER_02: Like, there's plenty of reasons why that initial thing of there's somebody's just cleaning could not necessarily explain it.
15:37
SPEAKER_02: Uh, and so anyway, there was no light on, but he's telling us the story of what happened.
15:44
SPEAKER_02: And as we're about to walk away, we start smelling kerosene.
15:50
SPEAKER_02: And he's like, Yeah, there's no natural gas wells on here, like in this area.
15:55
SPEAKER_02: There hasn't been since so-and-so, so and so when they switched over to electric and all this other stuff.
16:00
SPEAKER_02: And he's giving us again the history, and he was like, Yeah, so you know that smell that's dark, that's Mr.
16:05
SPEAKER_02: King's uh lantern, and we're like, Oh, that's kind of creepy.
16:11
SPEAKER_02: We've got chills, you know, but oh, but it's kind of cool because it's just you know, it's just a smell, but still, I had I had chills.
16:18
SPEAKER_02: Then all of a sudden, my right hand goes ice cold and then numb.
16:27
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
16:28
SPEAKER_02: And I felt this warmth right around my like abdomen area, like this radiant heat.
16:36
SPEAKER_02: And I'm just sitting here calling, I'm just standing there calling me, like my friend Nadia is right next to me, and I'm like, hey, so this is what's going on.
16:43
SPEAKER_02: Uh, I can't feel my right hand anymore, and I'm feeling a warmth right around my abdomen as though as though someone is holding a lantern very near me.
16:55
SPEAKER_02: And then the warmth went up to my face.
16:58
SPEAKER_02: Okay, like somebody's checking me out.
17:01
SPEAKER_02: It was getting real weird, and again, my hand is still numb, and I was like, okay, guys, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go.
17:06
SPEAKER_02: And I just remember saying that so fast, like, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go, because I'm like trying not to freak out.
17:10
SPEAKER_02: Right.
17:10
SPEAKER_02: And I'm trying to get away from all the people.
17:12
SPEAKER_02: And I start walking away, the heat immediately goes away, but the hand is still cold and numb.
17:18
SPEAKER_02: It and again, I've I've I've sensed things that have been proven to be true that I should not have either known or sensed.
17:32
SPEAKER_02: It felt like he was holding my hand and walking me to the door, like to or walking with me to my building.
17:38
SPEAKER_02: And I don't know why.
17:39
SPEAKER_02: I don't know if I looked like his daughter, I don't know if this was actually him at all.
17:43
SPEAKER_02: Who knows?
17:43
SPEAKER_02: But it felt like him, or it felt like somebody.
17:46
SPEAKER_02: I won't say it felt like him.
17:47
SPEAKER_02: It felt like somebody.
17:49
SPEAKER_02: The lantern thing made sense.
17:51
SPEAKER_02: Like, you know, who it seems like that story's probably just legend.
17:55
SPEAKER_02: I don't understand exactly what the reasoning is, but I did feel these things.
17:59
SPEAKER_02: And so I get to my door and I tell my friend, hey, can you just hold back for a minute?
18:06
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna be over.
18:07
SPEAKER_02: I'm just gonna go here and I I just need a second.
18:10
SPEAKER_02: And I'm doing this because I don't want her to think I'm crazy, but I've done this before and I know what to do, and that is just to calmly talk to whatever is with me as though I'm speaking to somebody else that I know.
18:23
SPEAKER_02: So I go to the door, I go far enough away that she can't hear me, and I just kind of like turn towards the door and I say, Listen, I think that this is Mr.
18:34
SPEAKER_02: King, according to the story I've just heard from my historian friend who also has, you know, been here eight years.
18:41
SPEAKER_02: Um anyway, I was like, I think you're Mr.
18:43
SPEAKER_02: King, and regardless, I appreciate that you have found some comfort in my presence.
18:50
SPEAKER_02: And thank you for holding my hand and walking me to the to my building.
18:55
SPEAKER_02: I'm safe now.
18:56
SPEAKER_02: Um will you please?
18:59
SPEAKER_02: I need to go inside, I need to go to sleep, and I want you to stay here.
19:02
SPEAKER_02: And my hand, I got feeling again to my hand immediately.
19:08
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
19:09
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
19:11
SPEAKER_02: So and that's the thing, is I knew what to do because this has happened before, this type of thing where I can feel, and I've got another one for you if you want to one more that's uh a little bit shorter.
19:24
SPEAKER_02: Um, but yeah, and so but that night, I mean, I because of that right there, that proved to me like something was definitely with me.
19:33
SPEAKER_02: So that was even scarier, even though what I had done was calm and it worked and it wasn't that scary.
19:38
SPEAKER_02: The idea it was, it was, it was I could no longer have that logical brain saying it was probab this or it probably didn't happen.
19:45
SPEAKER_02: Like, no, something was with me, something listened and something responded.
19:52
SPEAKER_02: So I could not sleep.
19:54
SPEAKER_02: Um, because also some weird stuff had happened in my building, and I was 100% sure it was haunted, and there had been things like with me.
20:03
SPEAKER_02: It was just kind of so I was already I wasn't scared about him anymore.
20:07
SPEAKER_02: I was scared about the ghost in my building, and I'm like, I really I I know like right now I'm super open and I'm gonna be just like a vegan right now, and I cannot have that.
20:16
SPEAKER_02: And so I didn't sleep at night, and the next day I like drove over to my grandparents three hours away because I just couldn't, I couldn't handle it.
20:23
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you're creeped out.
20:25
SPEAKER_02: So I was like, I was so freaked out.
20:26
SPEAKER_02: I couldn't sleep, I couldn't do anything because I because that's another thing.
20:29
SPEAKER_02: Like there were there had already been there was a point after that I'd already had experiences, like I said, but that was the most intense one.
20:39
SPEAKER_02: And it's like it opened me up more because I was so like I said, I couldn't deny it anymore.
20:45
SPEAKER_02: All the other experiences I had had, even though I believed they were paranormal, my logical brain was able to tell me in those moments where I needed to not believe they were paranormal because I couldn't handle it.
20:58
SPEAKER_02: Like my logical brain was able to say, Oh, that's probably it was probably just your imagination, you know, at least in those moments.
21:04
SPEAKER_02: And I couldn't do that anymore.
21:08
SPEAKER_02: Um, and it was like it opened me up to so many more experiences because like I remember shortly after I'd returned back to school, I remember walking across the quad, one of the quads, and looking and I saw hundreds of people, and only maybe ten of them were alive.
21:32
SPEAKER_02: And I'm not and I don't know, and the thing is that could very well be residual energy because I pick up on residual energy like a lot, and I have been able to tell exactly things that have happened in the past from in a space from residual energy alone.
21:48
SPEAKER_02: And it's like the same type of thing.
21:50
SPEAKER_02: It's a res In fact, now that I'm looking back on it, since I've learned about this, I haven't really looked back on that, but I'm almost 100% sure it's residual energy because of the way that it reflected in my mind.
22:00
SPEAKER_02: Residual energy usually comes off as like a golden shimmery light for me.
22:04
SPEAKER_02: Like um it has when I say shimmery, it's like a like you know how when you see energy moving like a wave of uh off of a hot pavement, like that, it's golden, but it kind of shimmers because it's it's it's kind of a little wavy, um, and it just looks like energy.
22:20
SPEAKER_02: And yeah, that's or kinetic energy, or whatever, you know.
22:25
SPEAKER_02: I'm not kinetic energy.
22:26
SPEAKER_02: Anyway, whatever.
22:28
SPEAKER_00: I get where you're going.
22:30
SPEAKER_02: You get what I'm saying?
22:31
SPEAKER_02: Like the heat.
22:32
SPEAKER_02: Um, and so basically that was it was just so much more.
22:38
SPEAKER_02: I mean, just one thing after another, I could not get a hold of myself.
22:44
SPEAKER_02: And like I learned later how to harness it, how to control it, how to turn it on and off, um, how to, you know, protect myself.
22:55
SPEAKER_02: It's one of the things that really got me into more of my witchcraft was these experiences and needing to learn.
23:03
SPEAKER_02: Um, and so I feel so much more confident that if I had if I were in the same spaces today, you know, if I went back to school there for something, like I would be okay and I would probably thrive.
23:16
SPEAKER_02: But there or then I couldn't.
23:18
SPEAKER_02: I just absolutely could.
23:19
SPEAKER_02: It was terrifying.
23:20
SPEAKER_02: That one was that one was very scary.
23:22
SPEAKER_02: Um, like I said, not actually a scary experience, but just the realization that like I cannot deny this one, um, even when I need to, you know.
23:31
SPEAKER_02: And but yeah, oh there was one more um where there was a kind of response.
23:40
SPEAKER_02: It was when I I after that first year at Montebalo, I went to Auburn University.
23:45
SPEAKER_02: Um, and I had this my first year there, I had this tiny 300 square foot studio apartment, and it was just a little shoebox, but it was perfect.
23:55
SPEAKER_02: And there was uh about a I want to say it was about a week or two, where every single night at either 3 or 3 33, I would wake up like somebody snapped me out of sleep, immediately look at my clock, see the time, and it felt like somebody was at the end of my bed watching me or next to my bed watching me in some way.
24:20
SPEAKER_02: And I had also previously had um things shooting across uh from my it was two or two times that top of my fridge, and I don't remember what it was now, um, shot across the room.
24:34
SPEAKER_02: And again, I tried to recreate it.
24:38
SPEAKER_02: I tried to think of like what could pop maybe something fell behind it and it shot, but it did it twice.
24:43
SPEAKER_02: Oh, okay.
24:44
SPEAKER_02: So maybe I've got something precariously placed back there that I don't remember, you know, that kind of thing.
24:49
SPEAKER_02: Nothing.
24:50
SPEAKER_02: There was nothing back there behind it.
24:52
SPEAKER_02: It was just sitting there the way it was always sitting there, and I triple checked that it and it just flew across the room, like somebody had just kind of gone up to it and hit it like that.
25:02
SPEAKER_02: And yeah, so I'd already been having some weird stuff happening.
25:06
SPEAKER_02: Um, but then I was waking up every single day, every single night, and fine, and I was just like, I, you know, and I would wake up and you're you're so disoriented, and I was just I was just feeling like I could feel this presence.
25:17
SPEAKER_02: So I would just kind of turn over and pull the curtain, you know, pull the blanket up and just be like, oh, like I'm going back to sleep.
25:23
SPEAKER_02: I'm going back to sleep.
25:24
SPEAKER_02: I'm not talking right now.
25:24
SPEAKER_02: I'm going back to sleep.
25:26
SPEAKER_02: And because I've got school and work and I'm I'm a busy girl.
25:30
SPEAKER_02: I can't be doing this at 3 a.m.
25:32
SPEAKER_02: And so finally I I really it just I thought it would just go away and it didn't.
25:37
SPEAKER_02: And I want to say it was like two weeks, and I just didn't know what to do anymore.
25:41
SPEAKER_02: And it finally dawned on me, talk to it, duh.
25:44
SPEAKER_02: It's trying to get your attention, obviously.
25:46
SPEAKER_02: And I can't believe it took me this long, but I was going through some stuff, you know.
25:50
SPEAKER_02: Anyway, and so finally there was one night though that I could not.
25:56
SPEAKER_02: I had a test the next morning.
25:57
SPEAKER_02: I've had a really crappy day.
25:59
SPEAKER_02: I needed to go to sleep.
26:01
SPEAKER_02: I just needed to go to sleep.
26:03
SPEAKER_02: And so I sat on my bed when I was ready for bed, and I was just like, okay, listen, I appreciate that you're here.
26:10
SPEAKER_02: I understand that you found some safety here.
26:12
SPEAKER_02: You're welcome to stay as long as you don't mean harm.
26:17
SPEAKER_02: I was like, only good things here.
26:19
SPEAKER_02: You're welcome to stay.
26:21
SPEAKER_02: Crash on the couch, but do not wake me up again.
26:23
SPEAKER_02: You can talk to me tomorrow.
26:25
SPEAKER_02: You can talk to me right now if you've got something really important to say.
26:28
SPEAKER_02: Do not wake me up at three o'clock or 3:33 or any other time in the middle of the night again because I have a test in the morning and I've got to get some rest.
26:37
SPEAKER_02: And that's exactly what I said.
26:38
SPEAKER_02: But then I was like, but again, I promise tomorrow after my test, I will come back here, I will light some candles, and we will just have a session.
26:49
SPEAKER_02: And and then I was like, okay, I'm going to sleep now.
26:53
SPEAKER_02: So I laid back and went to sleep.
26:56
SPEAKER_02: I slept the best I think I've ever slept in my life that night.
27:01
SPEAKER_02: I did not turn, I did not move a muscle.
27:05
SPEAKER_02: I woke up and like all I had to do when I got out of bed was just there's my there, that's making my bed, just pulling the curtains up or the uh the bed.
27:13
SPEAKER_02: Uh shoot, sorry, pulling the blankets up.
27:17
SPEAKER_02: But yeah, it's just it was absolutely crazy.
27:19
SPEAKER_02: And I did.
27:20
SPEAKER_02: I came home that night and I did a reading and I did a I did some stuff with the pendulum and kind of talked and helped whatever it was realize that unfortunately they were gone.
27:33
SPEAKER_02: Um yeah, it was uh it was good though.
27:38
SPEAKER_02: It wasn't too difficult.
27:39
SPEAKER_02: I don't know, it was it was good and they they left after that.
27:42
SPEAKER_02: They were gone.
27:43
SPEAKER_02: And I don't I still don't I still don't know I don't know, I didn't pick up much on them, but I was able to to communicate and it was really yeah, it was really simple.
27:53
SPEAKER_02: I just remember it being so simple, I was like, why didn't I do this a week ago?
27:57
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
27:58
SPEAKER_00: So the concept of clockwork is kind of a human construct for the most part.
28:02
SPEAKER_00: I mean, time time time is time, you know, it it exists whether there's clocks or not.
28:08
SPEAKER_00: But the the concept of an actual clock is a human construct.
28:12
SPEAKER_00: There is a commonplace phenomenon about the 3 a.m.
28:17
SPEAKER_00: thing.
28:17
SPEAKER_00: If you actually do a Google search or if you you have any knowledge of paranormal folk folklore, they do refer to that as the witching hour.
28:27
SPEAKER_01: That is Yes they do.
28:28
SPEAKER_00: That is that is the time that people experience paranormal activity the most.
28:34
SPEAKER_00: It's 3 a.m.
28:35
SPEAKER_00: And they will wake up under mysterious circumstances.
28:38
SPEAKER_00: Um it's interesting that you brought that up because I've had so I also exist in this very skeptical place, and I have done the hokey pokey with it.
28:49
SPEAKER_00: I put my left foot in, take my left foot out, you know, um, with my belief practices, but um, I've had probably about a half a dozen experiences of fleet paralysis throughout my life.
29:00
SPEAKER_00: And are you familiar with the what fleet paralysis?
29:03
SPEAKER_02: I'm familiar.
29:04
SPEAKER_02: I've not unfortunate I'm very glad I have not experienced that personally.
29:09
SPEAKER_02: I'm very familiar with it.
29:11
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's terrifying.
29:12
SPEAKER_00: And I I have I have one um that took place when I was a senior year of high school.
29:18
SPEAKER_00: Now I lived on my own my senior year of high school.
29:20
SPEAKER_00: I was supporting myself by the time I was 16.
29:24
SPEAKER_00: And this one incident it's crazy because I actually did see something, and it was, you know, they refer to that as a fleet demon, what you see, and it is the same exact uh uh figure that a lot of people uh also see in these these uh experiences.
29:41
SPEAKER_00: So my point being is you know, people want to challenge other people's belief structures and belief systems.
29:50
SPEAKER_00: What I say in return to that is that science can explain the how, spirituality explains the why.
29:59
SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
29:59
SPEAKER_02: That is beautiful.
30:01
SPEAKER_02: I love that.
30:02
SPEAKER_00: You know, I know whenever we share stories like this, we share experience of like confronted with somebody that is an absolute non-believer.
30:10
SPEAKER_00: They don't believe that they believe you turn you born and then you turn into worm food, and that is your life structure.
30:16
SPEAKER_00: I mean, they're gonna challenge you.
30:18
SPEAKER_00: Um, but for for me, I say, hey, just before you go to that point, just listen, you know, because science describes the how, spirituality describes the why.
30:30
SPEAKER_02: I'm very much a believer uh after an experience that I had that our souls take trips, you know, uh in and out of this world.
30:43
SPEAKER_02: I think I've been here many times before.
30:45
SPEAKER_02: And I think, you know, with people who some people truly aren't ready to accept and understand, and that's okay, you know, and like because I used to get I used to get so defensive and I used to get so like upset like that people didn't believe me or whatever.
31:03
SPEAKER_02: And it's just I've learned, and I think this is for my own peace more than anything, but I've learned that I really just I believe that some people aren't ready.
31:12
SPEAKER_02: And I think that you have to be at a certain level of development in your higher self in order to experience and to understand that side of things.
31:24
SPEAKER_02: And I don't mean that to sound, I don't mean that to sound any sort of way.
31:30
SPEAKER_02: I'm just I genuinely believe that.
31:32
SPEAKER_02: I I think it's a part of spiritual growth.
31:35
SPEAKER_02: Um, I think there's a reason.
31:37
SPEAKER_02: I think it's like because it's a muscle.
31:39
SPEAKER_02: I mean, it's it's a mental muscle, it's a spiritual muscle.
31:42
SPEAKER_02: I think anybody can tap into their psychic abilities and their um, you know, I guess psychic ability is kind of a roundabout way to say all of that, right?
31:51
SPEAKER_02: It's just kind of an overarching theme.
31:54
SPEAKER_02: Um, but I definitely think anybody can.
31:56
SPEAKER_02: It's just are you there spiritually yourself?
32:00
SPEAKER_02: Is your higher self able to understand that you're more than just your ego self, than just this body?
32:06
SPEAKER_02: And it's okay that not everybody's there.
32:08
SPEAKER_02: Would it be great?
32:09
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it'd be great if we all we could all be on the same page.
32:13
SPEAKER_02: But you know, they'll have hopefully more chances, their soul will.
32:16
SPEAKER_02: So, you know, not more chances, but more time to learn.
32:19
SPEAKER_02: And we're all just trying to understand the world around us, I think.
32:23
SPEAKER_02: And unfortunately for or not unfortunately, but I'll say fortunately for me, the world around me uh is a little bit more broad.
32:30
SPEAKER_00: You know, before we started recording, you shared a story with me about a near-death experience, a death experience that you had.
32:37
SPEAKER_00: And that kind of ties into what we're talking about here, doesn't it?
32:40
SPEAKER_02: Very much, very much.
32:41
SPEAKER_02: And it's part of the reason I believe what I do about our souls.
32:44
SPEAKER_00: If you don't mind, please share that story if that's okay.
32:48
SPEAKER_02: Sure, absolutely.
32:49
SPEAKER_02: So it was um June 3rd, 2018.
32:54
SPEAKER_02: I had actually just that morning gone with my business partner to get our business license, and I was headed on my way from Nashville to Mobile, Alabama to visit my family on the way down to Orlando for an audition.
33:08
SPEAKER_02: I've been trying to get down to Orlando for years.
33:11
SPEAKER_02: Um, but anyway, I was about 45 minutes out of Nashville when I lost consciousness at the wheel on the interstate.
33:21
SPEAKER_02: And I was headed about 80 miles per hour towards stopped traffic.
33:26
SPEAKER_02: Luckily, somebody, and I I keep picturing this woman, and she's like in her middle ages, I want to say probably early 50s, um, brown hair, and she was wearing a red top, and I don't know if that's real at all, but every single time I didn't realize until I started talking, telling the story a lot that since the accident, since they since I heard the horn, I've been seeing this woman.
33:51
SPEAKER_02: So I'm gonna go with it.
33:53
SPEAKER_02: Anyway, so this person that I'm seeing as this woman um honked their horn in time for me to wake up just to see the backside of a semi.
34:06
SPEAKER_02: So I all I remember is screaming and turning the wheel to the right as hard as I could, and then I made impact.
34:18
SPEAKER_02: Um luckily I was in the right-hand lane.
34:20
SPEAKER_02: I don't know how I knew to turn the wheel to the right, but because I just woken up, I mean, I don't know, I have no idea, but I did, thank God.
34:28
SPEAKER_02: And so when that happened, it it slammed, you know, the car obviously went to the right, and it slammed me over the inside over the console to the right, right?
34:43
SPEAKER_02: So I was I was all the way across the console.
34:46
SPEAKER_02: And I'm very incredibly lucky I was because when it made impact, the corner of the semi, it took the the top off my car.
34:56
SPEAKER_02: It was a hundred yards away, the top of my car.
34:59
SPEAKER_02: Um, and the corner went through my arm, my left arm, and through the back of the um arm, the seat.
35:10
SPEAKER_02: And so I woke up and I just remember seeing like the remains of this broken windshield and sunlight, the sun.
35:20
SPEAKER_02: I just I will never forget that that waking up like that.
35:25
SPEAKER_02: And then I felt something wet, and I just I knew I'd been in a car wreck, so I assumed it was fluid from the car, but I couldn't move.
35:32
SPEAKER_02: And then I looked down at my arm and it looked like well, it didn't look like an arm anymore.
35:39
SPEAKER_02: Um, and that's when I realized it was blood, and I passed out, and I found out later that I was dead for 11 minutes.
35:53
SPEAKER_02: I remember it.
35:56
SPEAKER_02: So this is why I believe I what I do about our souls making voyages here multiple times.
36:07
SPEAKER_02: Um, and I didn't, I didn't I wasn't like a starkly against it, but I certainly didn't grow up with that belief or really believe that necessarily.
36:17
SPEAKER_02: It was just kind of something that could was a possibility, but I didn't really take much stock in it.
36:21
SPEAKER_02: Um, because I grew up in a conservative Christian household in L in South Alabama, you're like you know, not really big in reincarnation.
36:29
SPEAKER_02: Um but whenever I I I'm gonna say like I I quote unquote woke up in this void.
36:37
SPEAKER_02: Um, and this is when I I guess was dead.
36:41
SPEAKER_02: So I wake up in this void, it's I don't feel my body, and I remember distinctly even when I'm dreaming, I feel a heaviness.
36:50
SPEAKER_02: I feel, you know, that feeling in in your dreams when you're falling or when you're um trying to run, and you can feel the heaviness that your body isn't moving, right?
37:02
SPEAKER_02: You can feel there's that there's that feeling, and and I didn't have that.
37:07
SPEAKER_02: I didn't have any feeling of body at all.
37:10
SPEAKER_02: Um and I wasn't afraid of this darkness.
37:14
SPEAKER_02: I felt very comfortable and at peace there, but at the same time, I was like, well, these I heard the voice in my head, I heard it say, Well shit.
37:24
SPEAKER_02: Um I think I just died.
37:27
SPEAKER_02: That sucks.
37:30
SPEAKER_02: I really liked that one.
37:34
SPEAKER_02: That's the that was it.
37:36
SPEAKER_02: I really liked that one when I heard that and I when I was playing it back after I'd woken up and actually been alive, that was when I was like, oh, oh, because I knew I knew exactly I really liked that one, meant I liked that life.
37:51
SPEAKER_02: And and after I said that, I just remember sitting there being like, well, on to the next.
38:00
SPEAKER_02: And it was just this innate understanding and this innate feeling of like like, yes, there was mourning and grief, and yes, I had to accept the fact that I was dead from this ego self, this body, but I wasn't gone.
38:17
SPEAKER_02: And that part of me, that my that higher self, that part of me would still go on into something else and become another person.
38:24
SPEAKER_02: And I believe I've done that so many times.
38:27
SPEAKER_02: My mother has said since I was born I was an old soul.
38:29
SPEAKER_02: Like she said that my whole life, not my sister who was three years older, but just me.
38:35
SPEAKER_02: And like I've been told that by teachers and adults my entire life that I was an old soul, even when I'm being silly and childish, and you know, I'm a bubbly person and I love to play around.
38:46
SPEAKER_02: But like I've been told that it's something when people look at my eyes or when they talk with me, um, that always tends to be the trigger, which is interesting.
39:00
SPEAKER_02: And yeah, that experience just kind of solidified that for me, where I feel very confident in my belief that I at least have been here before and will be here again, and that maybe that's the reason why I'm so open spiritually to seeing other beings and helping them through death, because I've been through it and I have accepted it, and I've done it in this life and accepted it to where I'm even more available to help others who've passed or others dealing with a passing, and that's a gift, and I could not be more grateful.
39:33
SPEAKER_02: And the thing is, as awful as my accident was, I did not lose my arm.
39:38
SPEAKER_02: The um the doctor, the surgeon said it was a few millimeters away from severing a main nerve that would have left it a dead arm.
39:47
SPEAKER_02: But now I have 98% mobility, I have all my grip strength back, I I lift weights again.
39:53
SPEAKER_02: Like, I mean, I'm good.
39:55
SPEAKER_02: I have my arm and I'm it's it's scarred and a little misshapen, but it's useful and I'm happy with that.
40:00
SPEAKER_02: Right.
40:01
SPEAKER_02: And um, you know, and it was it was traumatic.
40:03
SPEAKER_02: It caused me to go down the worst, deepest, darkest depression of my life.
40:08
SPEAKER_02: Um, I had the worst PTSD symptoms.
40:11
SPEAKER_02: I've I have CPST, uh CPSTD, which is from childhood trauma, but I'd never experienced PTST uh PST, excuse me, PTSD, uh, in the same way that I did after this accident.
40:25
SPEAKER_02: It was just so incredibly debilitating.
40:29
SPEAKER_02: And I had to work through that hard because I went through a lot of times of trigger warning, uh, wanting to unalive myself and feeling like I could never ever again be exactly the person I was before my accident.
40:48
SPEAKER_02: And nobody understood that.
40:50
SPEAKER_02: Nobody understood that I I was immensely changed by that experience.
40:56
SPEAKER_02: Not just the not really the trauma at all, the trauma didn't change me.
40:59
SPEAKER_02: It was that death experience to know and feel so much more in tuned with that side of myself, even more than I was before, which is saying something.
41:09
SPEAKER_02: And and and it was just I could never be that person again.
41:12
SPEAKER_02: And people would say to me, my family would say to me, and I know they meant well, but they would say, you know, I miss the old Morgan because that was my middle name.
41:20
SPEAKER_02: Uh that's what I went by before I was about 20 in college, and and um and they would still call they still call me Morgan.
41:26
SPEAKER_02: So they would say, I miss the old Morgan.
41:29
SPEAKER_02: And I wanted to tell them so badly how much that hurt because I was already in a in an identity crisis kind of.
41:40
SPEAKER_02: Um, but I know they meant well, I know they did, and I obviously wouldn't want to hurt them in the midst of all of that either.
41:46
SPEAKER_02: And so I just kept it to myself, and I was just I was in such a dark place for such a long time, and yeah, I I I mean, witchcraft helped me, horror helped me.
42:00
SPEAKER_02: Um, this just everything spooky that I had not fully allowed to be a part of me, you know, as much as I'd wanted for whatever reason, even though I thought I had, um, I finally was able to just fully be tell myself, you know what, life is short and I've got more coming, and I want this one to be exactly what this person, this ego self wants.
42:26
SPEAKER_02: And this person wants spookiness.
42:29
SPEAKER_02: This person wants theater.
42:32
SPEAKER_02: This person wants this business.
42:35
SPEAKER_02: Like, just do what you want to do, find what you want to do, manifest it and live your best life.
42:40
SPEAKER_02: And so I started really trying to curate what that life would look like and working towards it.
42:45
SPEAKER_02: And I started doing community theater again, which led me to professional theater.
42:48
SPEAKER_02: I started doing, I started singing again.
42:51
SPEAKER_02: Now I'm in the metal band.
42:52
SPEAKER_02: I started, you know, really going ham on the business.
42:55
SPEAKER_02: Now we're three years in and we're both, uh, because my partner and I worked so hard, we're both full-time and we have insurance, you know, and and I've started expressing myself more fully through my witchcraft and my goth interests.
43:08
SPEAKER_02: And I just I've never been happier with who I am.
43:11
SPEAKER_02: And it's a direct represent it's a direct line from what happened in my accident and that near death experience.
43:17
SPEAKER_02: And so, like, I talk about it because I hope, I hope and pray that somebody hearing this, it can help after everything I've been through, and you can manifest the life you want and get out of toxic, traumatic situations and get out of abuse because I did that too.
43:37
SPEAKER_02: And you know, there's just you gotta survive.
43:40
SPEAKER_02: That's why we like horror.
43:41
SPEAKER_02: We like the final girl, and I'm a final girl, damn it.
43:45
SPEAKER_00: If this past two years now, because we're we're about to the two year mark, hasn't taught me anything else, it's to not shit on the things that bring other people joy, you know.
44:00
SPEAKER_03: Absolutely wonderful.
44:02
SPEAKER_00: You know, um personal growth and personal evolution is a gift, but it looks differently for everybody.
44:10
SPEAKER_00: You know, um a phrase that I like to use a lot is you are an individual, but so is everybody else.
44:16
SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes, and that and that's kind of what makes the world go around.
44:21
SPEAKER_00: And you know, we all have our dark times.
44:23
SPEAKER_00: I've I've had them recently, you know, I've had some moments where like I I had a really rough summer.
44:30
SPEAKER_00: I've had actually I've had a pretty rough 2021 uh start to finish, and it's all occupationally related.
44:36
SPEAKER_00: It's it's not related to the podcast.
44:39
SPEAKER_00: My podcast is going great, the the family life is going great, but man, sometimes you can get caught in these ruts and these things that bring you joy, like your business, like the fact that you're singing in a band now, that you're involved with theater, you gotta latch on to those, and you gotta like whenever you have those moments where it's like it's easy to focus on the negative, you gotta focus on the the elements that are that are bringing you joy.
45:07
SPEAKER_00: And trust me, I know more than anybody else.
45:09
SPEAKER_00: It's really hard to do in those moments.
45:12
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I will say I want to add that like you're absolutely right.
45:17
SPEAKER_02: I actually keep a list on my phone called like my list of glitters, which is like the opposite of triggers, they're you know, they trigger happy things.
45:23
SPEAKER_02: Um and I but like, for example, you said you were dealing with it rinse recently, and I'm so sorry to hear that.
45:28
SPEAKER_02: I I also was dealing with it recently in September, and like none of my glitters were working, none of these you know, good things in my life were working.
45:36
SPEAKER_02: And I had to, you know, I'm on medication as well.
45:39
SPEAKER_02: And I called my doctor and we worked on it because I I tried those things and was still really in a dark place.
45:46
SPEAKER_02: And so, like, that's when I turned to back to my doctor about medication.
45:50
SPEAKER_02: I do want to urge anybody who is having those dark, deep feelings to go to therapy.
45:56
SPEAKER_02: Please go see your doctor, try different medications.
45:59
SPEAKER_02: It it takes a minute, but it helps.
46:01
SPEAKER_02: And it's really one of the main reasons I don't have those moments that often anymore, but they do still come.
46:08
SPEAKER_02: But like, you know, when they come, I can realize hey, maybe my dosage is too low right now or whatever.
46:13
SPEAKER_02: And like, so yes, I I I I believe in both.
46:16
SPEAKER_02: Like, you need to have your glitters and have your happy things and find constructive and positive ways to improve yourself or to at least distract yourself.
46:26
SPEAKER_02: But also please do take your health and your mental health seriously.
46:30
SPEAKER_02: And if you need to see a doctor, like that's okay.
46:33
SPEAKER_02: We are in a beautiful day and age where it's fully okay.
46:37
SPEAKER_02: Like, right take advantage of the resources.
46:39
SPEAKER_02: And and I've gotten, you know, I've been able to find a clinic around here that is super helpful.
46:44
SPEAKER_00: So just we are at a point in society where it's like it's okay to be open about these things way more than it's ever been before, but that it doesn't mean it doesn't stop people, second everything you just said, and say, Don't let it stop you.
47:01
SPEAKER_00: Don't let some sort of archaic way of thinking about mental health stop you.
47:06
SPEAKER_02: If it just takes one pill, if somebody takes this pill every day, you would have a better quality of life by like 500%.
47:13
SPEAKER_02: Why would you not take that pill?
47:15
SPEAKER_02: Right, exactly.
47:16
SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
47:17
SPEAKER_02: And that's what it's done for me.
47:18
SPEAKER_00: So I'm glad we have this kinship here.
47:21
SPEAKER_02: Me too.
47:22
SPEAKER_02: Me too.
47:22
SPEAKER_02: I mean, I'm sad for you.
47:24
SPEAKER_02: I hate that boy.
47:24
SPEAKER_02: No, no, no, no, no.
47:25
SPEAKER_00: I at least honestly, that's one thing that I will say that I've really impacted my mindset.
47:32
SPEAKER_00: It's like, I I've always been a person that's like, okay, I can fix this through diet and exercise, and like listening to motivational books and and podcasts and this, that, and the other thing.
47:45
SPEAKER_00: But sometimes you have to have that medical intervention at you get to that point.
47:50
SPEAKER_00: And yeah, it's it's been rough, but I, you know, I'm I'm underselling how great it also has been, too, because you know, that those darkest moments did bring me to my brightest lights by you know, kind of stopping and assessing it.
48:04
SPEAKER_00: So it's there's nothing to be sorry about.
48:07
SPEAKER_00: I'm actually, you know, in some weird way, I'm kind of glad it happened because it needed to happen sooner rather than later.
48:14
SPEAKER_00: I offer to you that just view it from a different perspective, a different side of the coin.
48:20
SPEAKER_02: No, absolutely, absolutely.
48:22
SPEAKER_02: I mean, like I said, I wouldn't have there's so much in my life that I have right now that I would not have if I hadn't been in the worst accident, the worst, the worst situation I've ever been in.
48:31
SPEAKER_02: And I I mean I've got I got cats out of it.
48:33
SPEAKER_02: I I fostered four cats, they're all healthy and happy, and one of them is with me, one's with my mom.
48:38
SPEAKER_02: I got uh I found my soulmate through it.
48:43
SPEAKER_02: Um, I got back into performing again.
48:46
SPEAKER_02: I found out who I am and decided to love her wholeheartedly.
48:50
SPEAKER_02: I, you know, I mean, it's just absolutely sometimes truly, and I don't want to if I had heard this while I was going through my deepest, darkest moments, it would have felt very dismissive.
49:02
SPEAKER_02: But saying it now, looking back on my deepest, darkest moments, right?
49:07
SPEAKER_02: Truly I can say the best things in my life have come from the darkest times, uh, or as a result, and and I mean just beeline result too.
49:17
SPEAKER_01: Like, I mean, just absolutely crazy.
49:21
SPEAKER_01: Um, and I wouldn't change, I wouldn't change it for you know a moment.
49:24
SPEAKER_02: I would go through that entire ordeal again if I knew that that was the only way to get what I have now and the and the beautiful love that I have around me now and and just the life I have now.
49:37
SPEAKER_02: And you know, it's hard to say you're grateful for something like that, but I'm grateful for that.
49:42
SPEAKER_02: You were you said something that made me think about goth culture.
49:47
SPEAKER_02: You said, you know, try to find or you said that the darkest moments led to and and that is for me is what goth is all about is is about finding the beauty in the darkness.
49:58
SPEAKER_02: That's my personal style of goth.
50:01
SPEAKER_02: It's very romantic.
50:02
SPEAKER_02: Um, that's why I call myself kind of a Persephone goth, because I mean, you know, I love flowers and pink and all this other stuff, but I'm I'm also very into the macabre, and it's it's like kind of how it's how it's merged its way into my person and uh and aesthetic.
50:18
SPEAKER_02: And it's very much to me just about like exactly that of yeah, the life kind of is terrible sometimes, but there's so much good.
50:28
SPEAKER_02: And and if you can see it even in the darkness, then you're gonna be okay.
50:34
SPEAKER_02: Because sometimes you can't escape that darkness, you know.
50:37
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
50:39
SPEAKER_00: Man, this has been a lot of fun.
50:40
SPEAKER_00: Shannon, why don't you tell everybody where they can find you online?
50:44
SPEAKER_02: You can find me.
50:45
SPEAKER_02: Actually, if you just go to uh Google and type in Shanna Stoker Link Tree, that should pop up at nice, and that's all my info.
50:55
SPEAKER_02: You'll can find my social media there.
50:57
SPEAKER_02: You can find my business, the ghoulish garb on Etsy.
51:00
SPEAKER_02: Uh also the link is there.
51:01
SPEAKER_02: Things about the band that I'm a part of, the online musical I'm a part of.
51:05
SPEAKER_02: There's everything you need to know right there.
51:07
SPEAKER_02: But also follow me on TikTok.
51:08
SPEAKER_02: You can follow me at the ghoulish gal at the underscore ghoulish underscore gal.
51:13
SPEAKER_00: I that's and that's exactly how I found you.
51:15
SPEAKER_00: I saw you on you came up in my for you page feed, and I was like, man, this video, this is really intriguing.
51:21
SPEAKER_00: So I followed you on Instagram and and here we are having this fantastic conversation on the podcast.
51:27
SPEAKER_02: I'm so glad.
51:28
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I'm having such a good time talking with you finally.
51:31
SPEAKER_00: Well, I wanted to I want to thank you for doing the show tonight.
51:35
SPEAKER_00: And um, you know, we have to do this again sometime.
51:38
SPEAKER_02: I would love that.
51:39
SPEAKER_02: Please, anytime.
51:40
SPEAKER_00: Let's stay in touch and let's see if we can make it happen again sometime in the near future.
51:44
SPEAKER_02: Sounds good.
51:45
SPEAKER_02: Thank you so much for having me tonight, though.
51:47
SPEAKER_02: This has been a blast.
51:50
SPEAKER_00: I want to thank Chana for being on the show today and for being such a good sport and being vulnerable.
51:57
SPEAKER_00: That is a big, big thing.
51:59
SPEAKER_00: She told a lot of personal stories, a personal her, and I really appreciate that.
52:05
SPEAKER_00: Find Chana online toolish gal.
52:17
SPEAKER_00: Follow me, five, two, five, six, two, six, five, out, yes, party, five, so wait, five, two, so, five, spot, yes, I think everybody else next.
52:47
SPEAKER_00: Michael Clark.