Latest / The Bald Brothers Podcast / 37: My Wife Faked Cancer! | #Isawthisontheinternet

Transcript

37: My Wife Faked Cancer! | #Isawthisontheinternet · The Bald Brothers Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome to I saw this on the Internet
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: The Random Podcasts created from stories that are completely old
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: and ridiculous on the Internet. You can submit these stories
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: to internet at keam onstage dot com. You can find
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: this show on YouTube wherever you get your podcasts. Forgot
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: to mention that all the other five episodes, but we
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: move on. Today's comedians are Rob Hayes, Keisha E. Don't
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: find out what that stands for, Just Kisha and Ronnie Jordan.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: Hello Internet from Atlanta. Two out of three from Atlanta,
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: the other one from Detroit. Up Top Atlanta, Atlanta. The
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: Great Migration uh top story today, My wife Fake Cancer.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: Her story ripped off The Fault in Our Stores Stars
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: Stars Excuse Me. After rushing into nuptstools with her now
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: ex wife, a woman realized the person she was married
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: to was a fraud who pretended to have cancer, all
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: thanks to aious, fictitious book. At the time, Yah Yah
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: Campin didn't know anything about the twenty twelve best selling
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: young adult novel The Fault in Our Stars, but it
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: changed her life twice. Heart wrenching book written by John Green,
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: follows two teenage cancer parent patients who fall in love
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: It wasn't until the title was adapted into a Blockbuster
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: film in twenty fourteen that Camping became familiar with the
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: storyline and noticed her then wife's bory I'm sorry bore Eerie,
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: Her then wife's life bore Eerie's similarity to the character.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: At the time, I was mad as someone who was
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: dying of terminal bone cancer. She only had a few
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: months left to live. But as I'm watching the movie,
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: I'm realizing that the mostly identical story of the plot
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: was my wife's life. She admitted. The pair didn't know
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: each other very long prior of the time, and not
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: because she was dying of cancer supposedly, but Camping thought
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: the odd Quinston was just too close. So she read
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: the book and its entirely entire tea. When I read fast,
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: I messed up more, messed up, more, mess up more.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: Even the phrases that you use she would use daily,
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: she said in the stitch clip she posted on TikTok
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: so is your story that inspired her to fake terminal
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: bone cancer, but was also your movie from the story
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: that gave me the first alarm bells to prove that
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: she was lying to me about having terminal bone cancer.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: Don't worry. She's still alive and well today. But I
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: guess thank you. She was thinking the people for making
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: the movie when she found out her wife did not
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: have no cancer at all. She's completely healthy.
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: What was she doing orping off like the little marshal
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: dime cups at the gas like collecting.
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: That like did me I got canceled? And me I
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: got canceled?
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: And then you know all that Susan g Cole and
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: ship I'll did shoot that straight to me.
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: Cash? What was the end?
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: Go what.
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: She's got to die? Right right? You got.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: From terminal. That's the god at the end of the year.
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: You like, damn, it's a miracle.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: But you probably didn't like make the wish treat me,
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: so you're giving us stories.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: Might be her the marrier you make of it a marrier.
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: Insurance policy. What was doing when it was time to
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: go to chemo and do?
• 2:58
  Speaker 4: What was she wasn't even taking.
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: Her to her Maybe she took her. Maybe she went
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: in and just.
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: The doctors they are like what she like, I got zoom, chemo.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: Came. Maybe shesed like I'm gonna just I'm gonna just
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: stug it out.
• 3:21
  Speaker 4: The hospital is coming to the.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: Too curious. You can't have some of the bone cancer.
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: You've been here for a long time. Need some milk.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: It's about trying to wrap this up. Need some milks.
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: Looking good over here?
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: Nobody good.
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: Ronnie is the worst thing that black bodies is, Like Ronnie.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: I was just telling my kids just the other day.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: They thought I was lying. I was like when I
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: was a kid, milk had commercials, Beef had commercials.
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: It was just just the other white had a commercial.
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: One you had a commercial line.
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: Was and the milk campaign was had a big budget milk.
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: It wasans somebody.
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: Maybe that's a US repretion milk, beef, pork, all those reparations.
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: If you don't have a parent company name and it's
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: just a product. Slaves did it first, old God, power
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: of cheese. Remember that it was dairy far The field of.
• 4:29
  Speaker 3: Cotton a commercial?
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: Why why is cotton have a whole industries had a commercial?
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: I hate Cotton's the field of cotton. I hit them
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: on Twitter all the time.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: You know, Tony Baker had to joke about drinking milk
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: in public schools like that didn't even go with the stuff.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: We was eating pizza, but that now and find out
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: that's just the whole government contract. You want to be
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: the supplier of drinks in the kids freezer, doesn't matter.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: Milk don't go.
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: Their African descent.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and you my whole life.
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: They knew something that every black public school is somebody
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: do in the urinal.
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: That was because of milk. They couldn't make it to
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: the other one.
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: Pooping the urine was y'all fought black babies, apologies.
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: Want to spend that much time in the bathroom of
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: public res to destroy it? Yea, it was always somebody.
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: I don't know. I'm like, you did this. It's like, bro,
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: this the only bathroom on the third grade hall.
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: Why would anyway projectile?
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: I'm saying.
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: Great at the bottom that was, but the star was
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: probably so nasty to you know. The stall was gross
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: and elements and if you get caught in the stall,
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: it's over with.
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: You over If you do that school.
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: About that, that is something that's continued through their time.
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: My son, do you tell me that.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: My kids would be like, I'd rather die than.
• 6:07
  Speaker 4: Come get me on feel good?
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: But you didn't feel good, So.
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: You got to go to the nurses office because it's
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: a private Star, go to.
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: The coaching bathroom. Locks.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: Bathroom locks. You're safe.
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: If you play football, you can get the coaches keys
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: and go to their personal bathroom.
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: Coaches bathroom. You're good enough, you get the keys.
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: Even when I worked at bowling, I wouldn't do to
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: my own floor. I went down to.
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: You on the two floors up and the handicap Star.
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: That's the v I P. Because you don't want to
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: touch the side.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: Person in the wheelchair just late man is hem.
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: When somebody got a hand good chair in there, You're like,
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: why are you in.
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: A style fan with you?
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: Bro?
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: People?
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: I remember once worked at Baking America. Is uh, tell
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: her was in the bathroom. There's only one bathroom in
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: the break room, right. She blew it up and I
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: just had an honest reactions. She came. It wasn't in
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: there when I got in there. So I walked in
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: and she was just coming out, and I was like,
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: who you sick? I didn't do nothing, I bro. She
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: she her face do something.
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: You are eating wild game man the bathroom you.
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: Found one of the members of the Little Yellow Jackets,
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: and that shows and let it sucks when when you
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: go in and it's nasty and like nobody's there. Then
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: when you come out and they assume it if you
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: like walk out like hey, it was like this when
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: I got here.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: Like nobody, yeah right, everybody. You don't say that.
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: You ever had to use it real bad.
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: You get in the bathroom's dash and your poop just
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: go back in the poops like you know what.
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: Mind.
• 7:52
  Speaker 4: That's how I feel like my body is a general
• 7:54
  Speaker 4: public track statement.
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: I will tell you what I made a mistake now
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: in my life. I don't really drink nothing before I
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: get on a long flight because I want to pee.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: But I used to eat whatever, you know what I'm saying.
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: But we were going to Tokyo four and I tried
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: something new at the airport. I'm talking about as soon
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: as we reach cruising, I'm like, dang, it's thirteen hours
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: and thirty minutes left. I'm not gonna make it. When
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: I had the booboo in the plane, how do you even.
• 8:23
  Speaker 4: That bathroom is so small?
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: Well, the Tokyo bathroom was bigger, plane was bigger, but
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: it's still a porter potty in the sky.
• 8:31
  Speaker 4: And then when you're just in there, somebody they didn't
• 8:33
  Speaker 4: want to take a shower, you know it's not a
• 8:36
  Speaker 4: good one.
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: No, it's not. Nothing is right. The toilet tissue is
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: thin everybody. And I was like, I'm also not gonna rush.
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: I mean we're here now, you know. And I was
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: so mad. I was just was like, dang, so now.
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: My boy on Twitter was like, before I go on
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: a plane, nothing to drink and only sound. I'm not
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: trying nothing new, nothing special. I don't need no surprises.
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: I went to Japan in twenty fourteen. I had to
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: perform for the single Marines. We did all the bases
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: and we went to you were cooney, okay now, but
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: the flight was like twelve hours and they gave us
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: some beef stew type shit, the same shit kep.
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: Ain't or so plane like I hate. I was like
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: this is good, don't give it. Damn.
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: I made it to after the flight and then we
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: got off and I had to use the bathroom in Japan. Man,
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: they don't have toilet. They had like the end the
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: ground joint like you ain't see that.
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: Like yeah I didn't. That was all they had.
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: That's well, it was somebody any other one oh one.
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: And I'm like I'm trying to squad. I'm about to
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: shoot on these Jordan's. I'm like, yo, this is the worst.
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: This is a.
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: Picture of a hole in the ground, some square rectangle
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: hole the ground. You just squat over it, and you
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: ship like, ain't no way it's for you. The places
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: we'll perform at wouldn't take any gigoteen hour flight.
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: Bro. I almost had a show in Dubai, but dudes, like,
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: basically it was like it was cheap tickets dot com
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: type of fly. Oh god, so it's like a twenty
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: four hour it was twenty five hour flight travel day.
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: And basically he was like, you get to Dubai around
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: two pm Dubai time, you perform at seven that night,
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: and then you leave at seven am the next day.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: And I was like, I really want to go to Dubai,
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: but I'm basically gonna be sitting on a plane for
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: three days perform for fifteen minutes. It was for like
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: two hundred dollars.
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: Two hundred dollars human traffic.
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: He was gonna get your kidneys, he was gonna pop
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: that kidney ot we need over there, we need the
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: African American kidney experiment.
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: So for two hundred two.
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: Ticket life money.
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: The ticket fifteen days of my life to perform for
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: fifteen minutes.
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: That's where you startmulating a better Plane's like, I gotta
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: do something else.
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: Listen. Sometimes the money ain't the same in the country.
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: I didn't find that out the hard way was on
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: the Real Comedians tour and it didn't click. Like I'm
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: paying my people in American dollars, but I'm getting paid
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: in Canadian dollars, so the Canadian dollar wasn't And then
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: this is one of the times what it really wasn't
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: nearly a strong one dollar. It wasn't dollar. So I
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: got like a little bit and it didn't even sell
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: out or nothing. I got a little bit and it
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: to go through that.
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: So when me and Rob Hayes book out till you
• 11:30
  Speaker 3: know what market, Yeah, well you could do go right
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: and get in there people. Then you got to pay
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: them in Canadian I only pay you what they gave me.
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: I got to file under CAAD because I'm getting see
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: it because the tickets were like twelve or thirteen dollars
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: to change. What's the difference.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: A thirty dollars US ticket is what I would normally get,
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: and it was like twelve. I was getting the equivalent
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: of twelve dollars. Oh that's yeah at this time, and
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: like it's not always like that, but at that particular time,
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: she was like, you didn't know this, and I was like,
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: I never prefer to Canada before like that, because when
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: I had done my own tour, I could you could
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: set the price to US dollars. So Canadian people were
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: like this, this is fifty six dollars and I was like,
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: oh my bad. I didn't know because I was thirty
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: and thirty. So I made it twenty that year and
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: I still got to make my bread. I'm sorry, Canada,
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: y'all don't got you know, you don't got no money.
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: Y'all got care, man, kiss my b y'all got health care.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: You can get a BBL in.
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: Canada for free. I'm gonna starting a rooming so people,
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: I don't leave it.
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna leave. Speaking of rumors, I meant to say
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: this on the other episode. You know, it was crazy
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: about rumors before the Internet. We just believed them, like
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: Sierra was a hermaphrodite people in all of like I
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: talked to others, I thought that was only a rumor.
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: Where I lived found out pretty much everybody in our
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: generation like who started that? I forgot and why dude?
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: She probably told no to life. I got dick too,
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: that was it.
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: But nobody can't even remember where they heard that. And
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: there's like so many rumors like that, like Janet Jackson
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: cut her ribs out. Oh no, Maryland Manson cut his
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: ribs out taking suckers on meat. We're like that was
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: true though.
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I've had to say these people who believe that one,
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: I believe you don't see him now because if you if.
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: You could do that, you wouldn't be outside in the house.
• 13:25
  Speaker 3: He's occupied.
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: The dogs be doing.
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: That's what.
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: Janet Jackson had cheek bones the room. About Janet Jackson,
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: I can't ribs taking out since she got a secret child,
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: secret child like she.
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: Had with Randy the bar.
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: That one I didn't hear until me and Melissa were
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: watching her documentary and she was gonna talk about secret child.
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: I was child.
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it was someone Richard gear In the gerbil.
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: That one I just found out like last.
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: Week up hiss, But he made it up.
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: He was the first one, a wild one to have.
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: Can you a gerbil from number one? Like what you
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: this bit wiggling. Don't worry, get another house. That might
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: be hate. Somebody saw American Jigglow and it was like, nah,
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: he's too hot in the.
• 14:22
  Speaker 3: Streets right now. The haters started your rumors. The haters
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: start the rumors.
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: See, somebody in Patroon has said, we got the Sierra
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: rumor in London.
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: That was an international rumor.
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: And Sierra was pretty much well loved at the time,
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: like all she did was my buddies and stuff. I
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: want to take a quick break from the show to
• 14:46
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  Speaker 1: the show.
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: Although she moaning a lot on goodies, it's kind of like,
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: all right, you want him in the jar, but she's
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: still like, yeah, sound like fire going on?
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: Is that what the jar sounds like?
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: This?
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: Is that the inside of the jar moaning? Who's moaning?
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: Why he said?
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: It sound like some fingering was going on.
• 16:04
  Speaker 3: It was a prime fingering.
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: You remember one time I made it tune the sound
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: wich fingering back, and I told my boys, I figured
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: this girl there was like you lie. I was like smell.
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: It was like, oh damn, you really did it. And
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: I was like nobody, nobody knew nothing.
• 16:20
  Speaker 4: I found if you did, and it's my fish, like crazy, need.
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: You still got to do it?
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: It was the girl that I had first period pe
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: and yeah, it smelled like a little bit of tuning
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: at about nine jumping Jack, Well.
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm about to say I was in pe.
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: But I'm just saying you went to p and then
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: just what about it?
• 16:45
  Speaker 3: I never had it was the worship of.
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: Eleven or three. You want to go back to school.
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: You were the devil if you took a shower during
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: the day, he's a money. But I used to swim.
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: Never when I saw that in movies, I was like,
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: what kind of.
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: School school head showers?
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: I bet you you have to wait before water came
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: through in middle school?
• 17:14
  Speaker 4: At school, well because I swim. I never had gym
• 17:17
  Speaker 4: because I was on swimms.
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: But the swimming pool usually is a different have.
• 17:21
  Speaker 4: To take a shower.
• 17:23
  Speaker 3: If you take a shower in my high school, you
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: would have got ribbed.
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: It took all your.
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: Clothes, you put them in a showers.
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: They take the hinges off the this private school behavior.
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: No, the public schools with them civil rights shower crazy news.
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: You did not absolutely were they taking showers or was
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: it just the swim to I.
• 17:49
  Speaker 4: Don't know because we was there like five in the morning,
• 17:50
  Speaker 4: so I don't know.
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: You you're talking about after the questry in practice and
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: your elite as childhood we had cross after we do.
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: Question.
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: Ain't you on the jaw or people watching did y'all
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: just put yes or no? Have you ever taken a
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: shower at high school? In high school? And was? I
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: thought you people who have never taken a shower was just.
• 18:21
  Speaker 4: Like plants running around?
• 18:22
  Speaker 5: Yeah what yes, yes, yes, private school ship.
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: Most people were still tracking towards ninety percent of people.
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: I said ninety Yet.
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: Gym would still put soap on the supply list. We're
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: just buying soap for the gym teacher.
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: Seriously, powder to watch your Wow. Nobody was on the
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: on the swim team, Keisha, we didn't have We didn't know.
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they live, they used to live. That would be
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: the littell freshman.
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: Like you know, I can't read the name busy.
• 18:58
  Speaker 4: Somebody said after swimming.
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: See y'all had swim.
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: That's all you did.
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: Atlanta public schools don't got no pools.
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: Atlanta public pools. Yeah, all right. Next story, Uh, this
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: is crazy. Dead man discovered alive eight months after being cremated.
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: What so? What happened was? I'm gonna read it to
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: you so I know it's a lot. It was so
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: it was a case of mistaken identity. Thirty six year
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: old man in India dropped jaws after turning up alive
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: well eight months after he a live, alive and well
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: eight months after he was declared dad and then seemingly cremated.
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: It's macabre. It was it macabre. Macabre caper began in
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: June seventh after mappiord he's a lot of the man
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: job it was a lot those letters to apparently. The
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: breakthrough came ou on July seventeen when police discovered a
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: body from the beach in Kerala, which they identified as
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: belonging to Candy. The missing fans family performed the funeral
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: ceremony and permitted the body, seemingly providing closure to the saga.
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: Wasn't until days later the police realized that course was
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: not Candy. The body actually belonged to another man missing
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: person who bore an uncanny resemblance to the former missing
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: in action man, and subsequently the DNA test confirmed the
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: wrong person's theory, prompted police to launch a man hunt
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: for Candy. After months of searching in Vain, the town
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: finally hit paid there on Tuesday. Walk surveilling hotels, the
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: search of accommodations and an old station led to the
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: discovery of the man whose identification voluntarily retained by Indian
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: citizens performer students. Former students gave away his identity, so
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: it looks like he was Oh he was hiding.
• 20:51
  Speaker 5: Was he was trying to.
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: Told too many people he might have it sounds like
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: like they said, went to a school, like guess what, y'all.
• 21:09
  Speaker 4: Real cool because if he was greenmated and he went
• 21:12
  Speaker 4: to the funeral to be like, this isn't him? So
• 21:14
  Speaker 4: how did they find him out?
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: The people saw him at the school, they wouldn't look
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: for him, which he probably wasn't.
• 21:21
  Speaker 4: So he faced it up.
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: But he was just out and about and it was
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: about hiding. He was hiding in his hotel near the school.
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: But they found him.
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: Oh wow, Well he didn't hide good, right.
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: You got to hide forever, staying at the hotel.
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: Because you can't use your credit cards and stuff.
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: He didn't think this out at all. He was the
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: crazy thing about this is like.
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: Prior to the Internet, people just was like, like the
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: whole my dad went and got cigarettes and never came back.
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: They really could do that. They just started other families
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: in neighborhood. Same people had a cousin like, man, you
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: look just like my sister, little do you know, like
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: that's how wow, the Internet and what the Internet has
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: made a lot more difficult. Like in mad Men, the
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: dude Don Dreper just faked his death with with the
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: dog tags. That was just he took that off the
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: dead man. Now I'm him. That's all it took. Now,
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: Like can you imagine trying to fake your death now
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: and then just be living.
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: Hey, y'all, we found keV. He had a real club cussing,
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: he cut he cussing. You canna be you gonna be
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: a stand up for your in your witness protection life steal.
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: What's up, guys, cav We know this is not keV.
• 22:43
  Speaker 3: This is dev dem on stage.
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: I couldn't go nowhere. You have to live in those
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: little hotels, have.
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: Like a little unit, like a little box, like a
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: little box. Steve Harvey, Yeah, get your little monffy top.
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: Steve Harvey had to. We didn't know, We didn't know
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: it was I'm gonna tell you what though. I had suspicions.
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: It was too perfect.
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: It was too perfect. Every time it looked like this
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: microphone cover.
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: Well I saw one time I think he did cribs
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: and he was like my bottle lived with me that's his.
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: He was like, Bob to stay here.
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and his age.
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: It didn't you got no thinning nowhere, gott to apply
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: your unit.
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: Come.
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: He took off the crown off like you know what
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna say, bacon, because the thing is, once he
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: took it off, he.
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: Was just straight ball. There was no transition down. He
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: didn't go.
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: Look, the head was the same.
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: That was the Fedora era where he had a little
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: straw for door and the.
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: Movies and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true.
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: One day he took the door off and was nothing
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: in there hat and the hair was inside of the
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: door when he took it off, screwed in.
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: You know, there's a large continue to people who believe
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: jay Z's hair is fake for real. Melissa, my wife,
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: started with this a long time ago. She was like
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: that's She was like, who you know, at forty fifty,
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: just start growing hair crazy and it grows all the
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: way through and strong.
• 24:12
  Speaker 3: And they're also super secret rich. Yeah, you done did
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: everything you did. Every hairstyle was you didn't have the
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: long hair.
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: Never early I had, but when I first started I
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: had braids, and then they was like that's what he had.
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: The low even forever. I bring out now before when
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: I started, and how much hair he has now is crazy.
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: He's just letting it grow. He just or is he
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: just growing wigs and he's just having the wigs grow.
• 24:41
  Speaker 3: So the wig has avatar to his scalp.
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: No, he just has like his person make a new
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: one for this month. I need I need to and
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: you know he go away for months at a time.
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: Believable growth in that time period.
• 24:55
  Speaker 3: No, he knows, like right now, he's Tina.
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: Tina would because Miss Tina used to be a haircare
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: you know, she was personal. She knows about she did
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: their hair and their hair and stuff. So yeah, she
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: will probably be able to tell she knows the truth.
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: She might never share though, of nd A, there's a
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: lot of people who believe that. Even the Patreon, they're
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: staying lock extensions. He looks suspect he got.
• 25:22
  Speaker 3: Locks.
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: Yes, dudes out here with real extensions. I'm gonna pull
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: up one day ready.
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: To started.
• 25:31
  Speaker 3: People don't know middle.
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: Do not give her act like nothing, okay, just like
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: I did with my unit. I'm just acting like you know,
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: normal said that.
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: He said he got his locks from this old wise lady.
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: And I said you got your locks, he said, he
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: got his lot and put Jimmy Butler did it.
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: Michig had extensions at the time.
• 25:53
  Speaker 3: Had his hair like he was just cross Delta in
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: eighty nine.
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, miss had he had the same brand, had the
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: same one.
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: He had the Maxie Waters What to do for What's
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: the movie?
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: Had the son had his head like that? To the parent.
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: Michael from the parent had that same Bob Marcus Houston,
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: you go hold Roger, he had the Michigan. We had
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: a Bob.
• 26:21
  Speaker 3: What you came to school with?
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: No, I ain't have a vibe I had. They were
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: straight back, but there was the ones that go like this.
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: It was like they okay, no, but you can tell
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: that it was yeah with the not so it's like
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: straight and then it's not with the with the weave,
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: and then straight back and then it had it was burning.
• 26:43
  Speaker 4: Did you go to the hair?
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: No?
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: I didn't buy the hair. I didn't even know about
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: the hair. And then I was like, my mom would
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: not stand for this. Call my mom right now. And
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: then they called my mom and they're like we already started,
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: so you know you can't get your money back you prepaid.
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: So then she's like all right, go ahead and finish,
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: and the next time you won't get weave in there,
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: nobody will know and so then yeah, so then they
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: put the weave in. In the first two weeks of school,
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: I had weaving. I went to bed, I had like very.
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: Neighborhood.
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: I didn't know theod, watching them soap operas and ship
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: the whole time.
• 27:32
  Speaker 5: You president, what years after.
• 27:37
  Speaker 3: Is fall of O two?
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: This is white tea arrow, this is yeah yeah all time,
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: Lord Willing, this is be dazz up Bandana.
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: Here you acting like you didn't have it.
• 27:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, no, I was acting like like, y'all know what
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: you're talking about.
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: Away, I know you came back.
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: This is the beginning of high school.
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: So it's like I'm meeting people, but people also I
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: hear them whispering, like, you know, I don't know the
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: wrong color.
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: I think it was not giving away that not in
• 28:20
  Speaker 3: the front. You got that weave.
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: It was like coming loose and then like like it's
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: like separating, you know, like like.
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: Roy heard people whispering, y'all. I don't even know, y'all.
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: Just all summer, y'all, I was at my grandma's.
• 28:43
  Speaker 3: Also, my religion makes me grow my hair.
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: I was crying and there I was like stoney and
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: set it off. But you didn't like play it off
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: with the rag. Just throw the dow rag on.
• 28:54
  Speaker 3: Not school, they have rus. You can't wear rag.
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: You want physics, Yeah, you can't ragging physics, physical.
• 29:06
  Speaker 3: Saying, I got it's hilarious.
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: Oh right, I'm just robster.
• 29:21
  Speaker 3: So you like extinguished, back up down. So that's what
• 29:25
  Speaker 3: you have that you have to feed breaks, braid spray.
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: They say you you know what sad you had? You
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: your weed was I got?
• 29:40
  Speaker 3: I'm like, damn, I got a corn row. I think
• 29:42
  Speaker 3: right now, that's so funny.
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: Man. All right, we're gonna get out of here on
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: this question braids with great as wild.
• 29:54
  Speaker 3: Mama.
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: What have you recently found to be ironic? Is the
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: question up? First? I recently found ironic? Well, you recently
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: found it be ironic.
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: I find it ironic that like the height of the
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: party now for this generation is oozy verts shorty one,
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: the rock and hip movement not dancing with girls, dancing
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: in your phone in.
• 30:17
  Speaker 3: The club, but just doing everybody does TikTok.
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: It's not like I used to go to club to
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: dance on the girls like that's what it was.
• 30:26
  Speaker 3: It's like every it's nothing like seeing a thug dude
• 30:29
  Speaker 3: do some TikTok movie. But you're like, what dude is
• 30:33
  Speaker 3: six eight? He just moving is here? Yeah?
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: So the TikTok araage kind of makes it weird. And
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: it's also it's like black folks is learning to dances
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: from white people dancing like black people bad. It's like
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: they're doing a bad impression of black folks and black
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: people doing the impression of that.
• 30:51
  Speaker 3: And then my kids are like, I guess it's how
• 30:53
  Speaker 3: you dance.
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: I'm like, no, it's not. No, it's not ironic. That
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: really is of impression. You don't see the original person.
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: You never see the original person, and somebody black usually
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: made it up first, but it gets popular with a
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: white person and then black people copy it again.
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: Trying to put the soul back in.
• 31:10
  Speaker 3: Man, we'll be reappropriating our ship back. I like the
• 31:15
  Speaker 3: text of the people who like get frustrated like all right,
• 31:18
  Speaker 3: I'm tired of this. All right, It goes like all right,
• 31:22
  Speaker 3: what is this? What is all this? You gotta put
• 31:26
  Speaker 3: some like it's like this and you all doing this
• 31:34
  Speaker 3: stupid stuff.
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: You're doing this y'all ain't really going around with the
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: head like we did in my day. TikTok. You went
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: all the way around, y'all doing this. We need y'all,
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: y'all be done. Y'all ain't even really shooting. I said
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: a lot of this, a lot of this. You gotta
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: loaded pull the click, y'all. Not y'all, don't. You ain't gonna.
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: You really had to be out here.
• 31:59
  Speaker 3: From you have to slide on the ops into TikTok.
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: Y'all ain't doing this.
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: That's what you're not doing. You check your body, y'all.
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: Y'all don't want it. You don't want this. You don't
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: go viral.
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: TikTokers are mad at TikTok because they ain't got enough energy.
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: All right, Keisha, what have you found me? Run?
• 32:26
  Speaker 4: I can't think of anything?
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: What do I find something? Keisha?
• 32:30
  Speaker 3: I'm trying to think.
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 32:38
  Speaker 4: As I get older I find it.
• 32:42
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: You're out.
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: I find it ironic that uh Cam running Mace's UH
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: sports shows called it is what it Is because it's like,
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: how can you be mad at somebody's takes? And the
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: show is called it is what it is? Like we're
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: gonna this is what is gonna be like. I don't
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: know how.
• 33:04
  Speaker 3: It is what it is. Cameron TROLLI Mario Trauma is
• 33:08
  Speaker 3: my favorite. It's pick on. I think I could beat him.
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: Oh, I don't know if this is ironic. It's probably not.
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: I just but I did find it interesting. Somebody said,
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: we be mad at the government. We feel like Republicans
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: and Democrats are very different, and it's just Left Twigs
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: Right Twigs. It ain't no different than nothing else, and
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: we just be falling for the marketing play. And I
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: was like, and I hated Left Twigs Right Twigs as
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: a marketing campaign. I thought that was literally every cent
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: they spent on that was a waste of money. I
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: don't feel like even one Twix was sold more because
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: of that. I feel like less Twigs were sold because
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: it was such a stupid campaign. And Mike and Ike
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: did the same thing. Mike and Ike broke up. These
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: are just mix these are ikes. Nobody's even thinking of
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: the candy like that. This is stupid. But the government
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: part I was like, they do they do be friends
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: and nothing don't change. When you see the parties and
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: the pictures, they'd be all together, like it's them versus us.
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: It was never more pronounced than when the game stop
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: stock thing, when the people actually started playing the game
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: the way the game this is for us, y'all stay
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: over there, and they're like, but we're doing the same thing, y'all,
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: y'all manipulating the market. We manipulated them. Y'all need to
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: stay broke and over there. And they really, in our
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: face changed the whole rules to the game and stop
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: letting people play because the people were winning. They saved
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: and games would not exist today if they had not
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: done one. And you should be able to do that
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: if you want to. They do that to stocks all
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: the time. They killed and short and save, and the
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: people did it and they were like no. And then
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: when the government people do stuff and be bad and
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: they get bailed out immediately. Delta got a million dollars
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: buy baillout package on the fourth day of the pandemic. Wow,
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: it was like lockdown on March twentieth. On the twenty fourth,
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: there was like fifteen billion dollars. How you don't have
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: enough money saved for another paycheck? Delta, y'all don't have
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: two weeks. They were like, no, no, we gave all
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: that to the stockbrokers, but they be the people owning
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: that stock, so they're not gonna let them fail. Same
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: thing with SBC Bank, like all that stuff. You can
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: make million dollar mistakes and you'll never pay for them,
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: but let us not pay two dollsand taxes and we
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: in jail, throw Lauren Hill and jail.
• 35:31
  Speaker 3: You ain't. That's some terrible shit.
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: Shoot, But anyway, we gotta go. I gotta pick my
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: son up. This is us always on the internet. You
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: can find this wherever you find your podcast. If you
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: want to submit a story to us, which just make
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: sure it's funny, interesting, and not new, email it to
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: us at the internet. Keme on stage. It's been Rob Hayes,
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: Keisha E, Ronnie Jordan Ipan Kemo stage. We'll see you
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: next time. Good Bye,