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Healing Your Inner Child · Is Your Way In Your Way?

0:25
Cassandra: Good day out there to all my listeners and I'd like to welcome you to Is your Way In your Way podcast and I'm your host, cassandra Crawley-Mayo, and for those new listeners out there, let me just share with you what this podcast is all about.
0:40
Cassandra: It's for those individuals who are in their way, actually individuals who are stuck.
0:46
Cassandra: You know what it's going to take you to start living your best life on your terms, but you're just stuck.
0:53
Cassandra: I don't know, I'm not sure what it is, and I always use my example.
0:59
Cassandra: My book is titled Is your Way In your Way, the same as the podcast, and my way was in my way for a long time, and that's what took me so long to write my book.
1:09
Cassandra: So then I decided to get out of my way and as a result of that, I was able to do one of my goals and aspirations, and that's what we want you to do on this podcast, and I am hopeful and prayerful that there will be something said that will resonate with you to say you know what?
1:25
Cassandra: There it is, that's just what I needed, and I'm going to get started because all it there it is.
1:28
Cassandra: That's just what I needed, and I'm going to get started because all it takes is taking action.
1:32
Cassandra: You can make that decision, but if you don't move forward, nothing's going to happen.
1:36
Cassandra: We talk about topics related to personal development, business development, and it will enable you to do some self-reflection.
1:44
Cassandra: And today I'm super excited about what we're going to talk about because it's not talked about a lot, and it's the art of healing inner child wounds, the tools of emotional freedom, and there is a chapter in my book that talks about your childhood, has a lot to do with your adulthood, and I'm going to introduce you to our special guest.
2:09
Cassandra: Oops, we caught her drinking Alicia, alicia, and I meant to ask her how do you pronounce that last name?
2:20
Cassandra: Is it Fariselia Fariseli?
2:22
Alicia: Farricielli, yes, you were so close.
2:24
Alicia: You get closer than most people, so congratulations, yeah, yeah, great.
2:30
Cassandra: Well, I'd like to welcome you to Is your Way, in your Way, and I am certainly glad that you are here, because I still say that childhood has so much to do with adulthood.
2:42
Cassandra: So, before we get started, I want to read a little bit of your background so individuals will get a clearer understanding of why you are qualified to talk about this topic, and not only qualify, but why do you do what you do based on this topic?
2:58
Cassandra: Alicia is a certified life and health coach with over 20 years of expertise in marketing, public relations and entrepreneurship.
3:09
Cassandra: She's also the host of the Intuitive Revolution podcast.
3:13
Cassandra: She empowers individuals to harness their intuition, overcome those limiting beliefs and achieve holistic well-being.
3:22
Cassandra: Drawing from her own journey of resilience and self-discovery, she helps clients break free from insecurity, anxiety and burnout, guiding them toward authenticity, balance and personal empowerment.
3:38
Cassandra: With empathy and insight, she inspires transformative growth, fostering confidence and harmony, and those she supports.
3:50
Cassandra: Wow, I can't wait.
3:51
Cassandra: I'm so excited about this topic.
3:53
Cassandra: Well, now what I'd like to know and I know my audience would like to know tell us about your backstory.
4:01
Cassandra: What was going on back then in that childhood day, those childhood days?
4:07
Alicia: Yeah, I never thought I would be doing this.
4:08
Alicia: I didn't just wake up one day, you know, when I was a kid, and be like, oh, I'm going to teach people all the traumas I had.
4:13
Alicia: Exactly Right.
4:15
Cassandra: Right.
4:17
Alicia: So I take people back my childhood.
4:19
Alicia: I was born from an extremely conservative, super religious, hell-fired, damnation type of background.
4:28
Alicia: So that's what was thrown at me Very, very, very fear-based.
4:31
Alicia: And so, as you can imagine, a child being born into a fear of, from the day you're into the world and probably through your mother's wound, is like, oh, you have to fear for this, like damnation of hell.
4:43
Alicia: If you make one little mistake, you're like going to be condemned for the rest of your life or eternity.
4:48
Alicia: So imagine that that being and I'm not trying to well, you know it's to say bad about religions, but that was kind of what I was, what I was born into.
5:02
Alicia: It was very, very um, didn't feel any self-worth within myself.
5:05
Alicia: It felt neglected in certain portions of my childhood and I'm not blaming my parents for that, because parents can't necessarily do the best.
5:12
Alicia: I mean, they do the best they can.
5:13
Alicia: They did the best they could with what their belief system were and the fear that was already instilled inside of them.
5:19
Alicia: So, imagine having fear-based parents with being a very fear-based, timid child, I was so shy.
5:25
Alicia: I use the example a lot.
5:27
Alicia: When I was in second grade, I got my name on the board, which was no big deal, because all the other kids got their name on the board.
5:32
Alicia: I don't know probably talking or something, and I did something very, very little the entire day because I was so scared I messed up and so I cried the entire day, come home in tears.
5:43
Alicia: It was just like detrimental and I had that, that, that wound inside of me that I'd forgotten about until I got into my adult years and started to dig a little deeper and get some of these wounds out and I felt like that was keeping me held back from a lot of criticisms in my life, because I always felt like I was going to be.
5:59
Alicia: I was criticized.
6:00
Alicia: It means I was doing something wrong, but therefore I should fear being wrong.
6:03
Alicia: Not that I have the same belief system at all compared to what I was brought into, but it's still that fear.
6:08
Alicia: That's a lot you know subconsciously inside of was inside of me.
6:12
Alicia: There's still some fear inside of me, but I'm very bring it to awareness now and it doesn't.
6:16
Alicia: It's a little bit different, right right.
6:20
Alicia: Yeah.
6:21
Alicia: So I, you know, went into into that, got into my teenage years, was a little rebellious, very rebellious, and so I ended up pregnant, getting married very young, divorced by the age I was 30, had two small children I was trying to raise on my own, having the whole mother.
6:40
Alicia: You know the single mother and that's a huge trauma too.
6:44
Alicia: So don't ever.
6:44
Alicia: If you're a mom out there, I feel for you.
6:46
Alicia: My heart's with you Going through all of that, putting but a lot of the wounds that I had for my inner child starting to play into some of my relationships and work relationships, launch businesses they were successful.
7:00
Alicia: I burned myself out with them, start something new, on and on and on and on and on, over and over and over again, hitting, like you said, that stuck that broke wall and so I got to a point to where in life I was like I can't do this anymore.
7:13
Alicia: I can't live like this.
7:15
Alicia: I was super depressed.
7:16
Alicia: I mean I was at the end of my ropes, so I started down the path of trying to heal myself.
7:22
Alicia: I was like there's something wrong.
7:23
Alicia: There's nothing wrong with me?
7:25
Alicia: There's nothing wrong with me.
7:26
Alicia: It was something wrong with my path and things that were inside of me were not alignment with who I was.
7:31
Alicia: Yeah, that, and as I was getting into it, I was got really far, far and I was like there's still something missing there.
7:40
Alicia: And it's funny how the universe works.
7:42
Alicia: It's like here's inner child work, here's shadow work, so like I put the two of those together and I started like inner child, that's what it was.
7:48
Alicia: Alicia was not listening to her, I was not taking care of her, I was ignoring her and she was still acting out.
7:56
Alicia: Now her is little Alicia.
7:59
Alicia: I call her little Alicia.
8:00
Alicia: I mean the people I work with through workshops and through coaching and stuff.
8:05
Alicia: I have them name their inner child.
8:06
Alicia: Okay, whatever I've had.
8:08
Alicia: My friend of mine named hers a little firecracker because it showed up.
8:11
Alicia: I love that name.
8:12
Alicia: So I was like I have to name that because it's like a little person.
8:15
Alicia: You want to treat it like it's on the side of your hip all the time, you know like a kid, and take care of it and nurture it and it's always inside of you.
8:43
Alicia: So name this thing, learn and bond with this little girl boy or whatever it is inside of you, with this little girl boy or whatever it is inside of you.
8:51
Cassandra: So mature Alicia, not little Alicia.
8:54
Cassandra: Yeah, what happened?
8:56
Cassandra: What was that breaking point that enabled you to confront, to start transforming your life?
9:04
Cassandra: What happened?
9:08
Alicia: Something had to happen.
9:09
Alicia: So I owned an event company at the time corporate event company and I was working 80 hours a week and I was making very little money profitability on it Because I was so far behind.
9:22
Alicia: I'd have to wait for my clients to pay me, I'm talking.
9:24
Alicia: I was working out tens of thousands of dollars a month and then hoping to get paid back on time and it would take sometimes two, three months.
9:30
Alicia: So I was like scrambling this is your, your own company, or your own company?
9:40
Alicia: Oh wow, I had employees.
9:40
Alicia: I had contractors underneath me or behind, they were working alongside.
9:42
Alicia: But with that I had hired on and it was just, it was wearing me out.
9:47
Alicia: I was so worn out so I had this and it was wearing me out.
9:50
Alicia: I was so worn out so I had this and it was six.
9:51
Alicia: I mean, it's successful profit, it could be profitable.
9:54
Alicia: And my daughter was going through something.
9:56
Alicia: She was, I think, 14, 15, 16 years old at the time and we're having just that clashing, a teenage clashing of issues.
10:04
Alicia: She was having her own, you know, drama, all that stuff going on.
10:07
Alicia: Um, my boyfriend's my husband at the time and I were not not seeing eye to eye on things.
10:12
Alicia: So I felt really stuck in life.
10:14
Alicia: I was like I'm miserable.
10:15
Alicia: So one day I was like and honest and like getting down I've.
10:19
Alicia: I was at the very end, to where I was starting to plan my the end of my life.
10:22
Alicia: Okay, it was that deep um I sat down.
10:26
Alicia: I was like, I looked, I was like god, I'm done.
10:27
Alicia: I was like you, either tell me how to do this or you make.
10:30
Alicia: I'd like.
10:32
Alicia: Show me, you know, the show me changes I need to make in my life so you were at your wits end I was at the done.
10:38
Alicia: I was at the wits end, had like planning stages of how I was going to start to end it.
10:43
Alicia: I was like I was done, I can't, I can't go on.
10:44
Alicia: I was think I was 35, 36 years old at the time.
10:47
Alicia: It's like I can't go on and do this anymore.
10:50
Alicia: I was like I just I can't do it.
10:51
Alicia: I could physically, mentally, spiritually, everything drained and exhausted sure, absolutely, absolutely.
10:57
Cassandra: Did somebody help you with that or you did this?
11:01
Alicia: on your own, like I did a majority of this on my own.
11:04
Alicia: I was in and out of therapy back and forth.
11:06
Alicia: I had a couple good therapists, the rest of them were.
11:10
Alicia: It made me end up leaving like there was something wrong with me at the time, and so I ended up connecting with a really good therapist and I work with her now, um, still once a month.
11:22
Alicia: Just because I keep up stuff.
11:23
Alicia: I don't I'm going there and be like I don't have much to talk and so we'll just keep talking, and it's like it's a maintenance type of therapy and I'm very big on that.
11:32
Alicia: Um, right, so I was doing that, um, and I ended up so I started doing the self-development path and I started journaling, I started reading, I started doing things, um, that were I kind of innately knew.
11:43
Alicia: I mean, I had a little bit of background in psychology, so I started kind of pulling some things from that and I really started leaning on more spiritual, a spiritual basis of it.
11:53
Alicia: And so, as I was going that, I ended up hiring a life coach, um, my, for myself.
11:58
Alicia: Um, in 90 days she started to introduce me to energy work, to breath work, meditation, and so I was able to elite release the energetic blocks that were inside of me, that were not going away on their own through talk therapy or through talk, communicate did you say reiki, or what did you say she does?
12:16
Alicia: well, it's energy, energy work.
12:17
Alicia: But I'm a master um, but I do intuitive, and so she taught me a lot of like intuitive wise, and then multiple different sure things, right, multi, I don't, whatever I do, but um, yeah.
12:31
Alicia: So I mean that literally started to release some of these traumas and these um emotions that were locked inside of myself, and so I was able to clear those out.
12:40
Alicia: Yes, I was able to come in and to, to actually get out of my nervous system, started regulating, so I was not, you know, trying the tiger wasn't still chasing me so I was able to regulate that to actually start to open up and receive in the true healing that I needed.
12:56
Alicia: Okay, good, and so I just started to do that um, and then I worked with her for a while.
13:01
Alicia: So work with her on and off, um, and then I came across the inner child stuff.
13:05
Alicia: So inner child wise, when I started doing that, I did all that.
13:09
Alicia: I did that on my own, okay.
13:11
Alicia: I did on my own.
13:12
Alicia: I say on my own.
13:13
Alicia: I didn't have a lot of outside resources and help.
13:16
Alicia: I did that intuitively.
13:19
Cassandra: So I have a very intuitive meditation.
13:26
Alicia: I go in and talk to my guides and spirits and source and they get all the information given to me.
13:29
Alicia: Was able to you know through some books and some courses too, but really able to start to learn the techniques that I've teach people now how to do Right.
13:36
Cassandra: So it sounds like it's taken you a while to get through this and you're still probably a work in progress, right?
13:45
Alicia: Oh, it's going to be a work till the day that I pass away.
13:47
Alicia: It's a work that's.
13:50
Alicia: I mean, if anybody tells you that they're healed, right, I'm going to call.
13:54
Alicia: I'm going to call.
13:55
Alicia: No, you're not healed, there's no, there's no healing and you're not completely healed because there's things that come in that trigger us.
14:02
Alicia: You can get to a very content place, a very happy, joyful place, and you're still going to have up and down days and rocky moments, but still being a happy, joyful place, with those rocky moments, exactly, and that's where we want to get to.
14:16
Alicia: That's the healedness that we, that we're looking to strive to.
14:19
Alicia: Right, people that tell you oh, you're never going to have any more issues You're never going to have, you're completely healed.
14:23
Alicia: It's not.
14:24
Alicia: It's not true because you're going to walk out the door and somebody is going to slam on the brakes in front of you and you're going to have a trauma experience of almost hitting someone.
14:32
Alicia: I mean, that's a little wound inside of you and there you have to heal that too.
14:36
Alicia: Right, you have to sit in a bubble.
14:38
Alicia: They're going to get bored and that's going to be so.
14:40
Alicia: It's like everything that kind of goes in to our lives contributes to this, but we have to learn how to deal with it.
14:47
Cassandra: Right.
14:48
Cassandra: So, um, mature Alicia, do you ever talk to little Alicia?
14:52
Cassandra: Every day, Uh-huh.
14:55
Cassandra: What are some of the things that you do to help overcome what your childhood wounds are?
15:04
Cassandra: What do you do?
15:06
Alicia: Yeah, so that's a great question.
15:08
Alicia: I'm actually in the process of having to relive a lot of this.
15:10
Alicia: I'm writing my book now and so, as I'm writing the book, I'm having to go back and relive a lot of memories that I'm healed mostly from.
15:16
Alicia: But I'm having to go back and relive a lot of memories that I healed mostly from, but I'm having to open those wounds back up again because I have to remember it in the same mannerisms that little Alicia experienced it.
15:25
Alicia: Yes, okay, and so and it's also a big healing process for me too.
15:30
Alicia: But I go and I talk to her every day and I just listen to her.
15:33
Alicia: I mean, and it could be the fact that somebody said something that really rubbed me wrong, that made me feel really bad about myself or made me angry, and they didn't mean it.
15:43
Alicia: That way I have to go back and talk to him, like, how's a little Alicia the fact, like, is this her speaking out?
15:49
Alicia: That's the time it is.
15:51
Alicia: You have to have a conversation with her, like and listen to her and acknowledge her and let her know everything that you're saying is is valued.
16:00
Alicia: It's valuable, everything is great that you get how?
16:07
Cassandra: how has this impacted your children?
16:09
Cassandra: You have two are they girls?
16:13
Alicia: I have a boy and a girl and they are in their 20.
16:15
Alicia: Oh my gosh, yeah, so they're, um, they're grown and unfortunately for for them and for myself, I didn't have this healing when I was going through.
16:25
Alicia: It was a very young.
16:26
Alicia: I was a young mom, um, in my twenties, young twenties, raising these kids still on survival mode, still dealing with these inner child wounds, um, didn't know what to do.
16:35
Alicia: I mean, I was a single mom for many years, I was just surviving and so, unfortunately, I haven't.
16:42
Alicia: But I'm in really good relationships, particularly with my daughter, and so I've been able she's been able to kind of I think hopefully she's proud of me to see how the healing process has begun and I've been able to come back and apologize for a lot of ways that I reacted to things and did the best.
16:57
Alicia: But it's also I hope they understand I did the best I could, absolutely.
17:03
Alicia: Absolutely what I've.
17:04
Alicia: I've put the grace and the grace within myself is knowing I did everything I did.
17:07
Alicia: What I did was out of love for them.
17:09
Cassandra: That's right.
17:10
Alicia: Everything I did was completely out of love.
17:12
Alicia: Um, it may not have been the right reaction or what they needed, and I made probably didn't give.
17:16
Alicia: I know I didn't give them what they needed, but that's okay, because now they can give themselves what they need.
17:23
Cassandra: Exactly Now.
17:23
Cassandra: Do you, based on the work that you do, do you suggest to them, because they're young adults, that perhaps, maybe they should be getting some help?
17:35
Cassandra: Oh yeah, so how is it received?
17:41
Alicia: getting some help, oh yeah, so how is it received?
17:42
Alicia: Oh, um, my son's a little bit different.
17:43
Alicia: We have a different relationship.
17:44
Alicia: We're not really that as close.
17:45
Alicia: We've had some things that have happened that have kind of forced us out to I don't, you know really want to go back into deep, deep detail of that on the podcast but some things that we're not as close as we are we should be.
17:55
Alicia: Um, my daughter and I are extremely close and we'll have multiple conversations back and forth, um, okay, about stuff and she's she does a lot of self-development and growth work on on herself.
18:07
Alicia: Um, I'm super, super proud of her for okay I think my son is doing a lot of growth as well too, from what I yeah, he tells me what I see.
18:14
Cassandra: I'm with it, but she's a little more intimate, as you know, mother-daughter relationships are yeah, yeah, most of them are, but you're right, some of them not, but some of them yeah you're right, yeah, now with your clients.
18:27
Cassandra: What are some of the challenges or limiting beliefs do you encounter with them?
18:35
Alicia: yeah, so a lot of it.
18:36
Alicia: Most of the clients that come in we have it.
18:38
Alicia: They have a very victim mentality and I can completely relate to that, completely, totally relate to that.
18:44
Alicia: So we have to take the victim and they think it's someone else's fault, that the reason they're the way they are, or there's something wrong with them.
18:51
Alicia: So we have to go back and have to get that over the limit.
18:55
Alicia: But there's nothing wrong with you.
18:56
Alicia: You're perfect the way that you are.
18:58
Alicia: You are beautiful the way that you are.
18:59
Alicia: There are things in your life that you're not reacting to.
19:02
Alicia: That in a certain mannerisms, that was getting bringing you to the progress that you want to go, and so we have to go through all of that Um, and then take their the victimization out of from from who, whatever, whatever thing that happened to them, that they're not a victim.
19:16
Alicia: They can't't, they have to.
19:23
Alicia: We have to untie their their selves to it.
19:24
Alicia: So those are two of the biggest, probably the two of the biggest things.
19:25
Alicia: Um, a lot of times, clients come to me they're like I had a great childhood.
19:26
Alicia: That's fantastic.
19:28
Alicia: I'm very happy that they did.
19:29
Alicia: However, everything that they're talking about is tied into the inner child right we're discussing and we get digged down to like, whoa, wow, and again we have to go back.
19:39
Alicia: We're not a victim of it, we're forgiving, we're not, we're.
19:43
Alicia: Everybody do the best they can and that was acknowledgement.
19:45
Alicia: So now you know what to do to move forward and it's such an amazing, amazing, amazing, beautiful thing to see wow, well listen, since they're saying that childhood was great, why, what?
19:59
Cassandra: why are they coming to you?
20:00
Cassandra: For those who say that, what's their reasoning for coming to you?
20:03
Cassandra: How are you?
20:04
Alicia: Well, when you look at a great childhood, typically people think I had two parents.
20:08
Alicia: They were either married or they got along great.
20:10
Alicia: They never had to worry about money, they never were in poverty.
20:14
Alicia: I mean, they take the extremities.
20:16
Alicia: My parents loved me.
20:18
Alicia: My parents did this for me, they took care of me.
20:21
Alicia: Well, sometimes parents can love a little too much in different ways.
20:24
Alicia: Maybe they loved you, but they didn't love you in a way that you're little, when you were a child, that you really felt deeply, genuinely loved.
20:30
Alicia: It doesn't mean they didn't love you, you know.
20:41
Alicia: You know maybe they you came home, they had high expectations for you, right, and you have high expectations of yourself going into your work.
20:44
Alicia: I see that a lot with client, with clients is it's the never, I'm never enough, not good enough.
20:48
Alicia: Um, more and more and more and more do more and more and more and more and more and more and more.
20:53
Alicia: And instead of slowing down and enjoying life.
20:57
Alicia: They're on the train to having to prove themselves.
20:59
Alicia: They're still proving stuff to their parents.
21:01
Cassandra: Sure sure.
21:03
Alicia: So yeah, that's what they mean by I've had a great childhood, okay.
21:08
Cassandra: Okay, what are some of the things that you have done with your clients or yourself that helped you overcome the limiting beliefs that you've had?
21:17
Cassandra: Or let me say it like this what are some of the limiting beliefs you've had in your clients?
21:23
Cassandra: Just name a few of them.
21:26
Alicia: Again, I'm not good enough.
21:27
Alicia: I have to work hard.
21:29
Alicia: I have to please everyone or it's horrible.
21:34
Alicia: Someone gets mad at me.
21:35
Alicia: That was a big one with me too.
21:37
Cassandra: Okay, yeah, those are probably some of the top ones, um okay it's people pleasing is a huge one, yeah yeah, so how did you help and how did you overcome those or work towards overcoming them?
21:52
Alicia: yeah, it's the little baby steps so we come into some a solution.
21:56
Alicia: We want a solution, immediate gratification.
21:58
Alicia: We want it to go from one to a hundred and we can't do that.
22:01
Alicia: The whole beauty of it is going through the process of the healing and then celebrating it.
22:06
Alicia: Okay.
22:08
Alicia: Awareness, so it's becoming aware of your actions, becoming aware of the things that you're doing.
22:12
Alicia: So once you start to become aware of them, you're able to start correcting them.
22:16
Alicia: And then you're going to mess up.
22:18
Alicia: I mean I mess up, my clients mess up all the time.
22:21
Alicia: We mess up.
22:22
Alicia: We're not perfect and it's again the beautiful part of it we give ourselves grace for it.
22:27
Alicia: Like you know what I'm very proud of myself for acknowledging this, acknowledging that I didn't do it this time, so next time I'll be a little bit more aware and a little more aware, and it's more of the awareness.
22:41
Alicia: Of course we have to take some actionable steps behind that, but it's getting to that point of awareness, to where we start to change for people pleasing.
22:46
Alicia: Maybe it's you're going to do something that steps out of your comfort zone just a little bit.
22:52
Alicia: You're going to open up and be a little vulnerable to someone they may not receive it in.
22:56
Alicia: So it's just a little bit, the little steps we don't want to go from.
22:59
Alicia: I'm just completely open and free, because that's not being true.
23:02
Alicia: You're true to who you, you know, are.
23:04
Alicia: At this current state of mind, you have to do the little steps and towards it.
23:08
Alicia: Just the little things that every day yeah.
23:12
Cassandra: So, for example, like myself, um, my thing is perfection, everything has to be just yeah, and I understand where that came from, as growing up, you know as my inner child and never was able to satisfy my mom, you know it was always.
23:30
Cassandra: Oh you, why are you wearing that?
23:32
Cassandra: Why are you wearing your hair?
23:33
Cassandra: like that you know, wanting to be accepted by her.
23:38
Cassandra: Now, being aware of that, how would you, if I were your client, help me through that process Like I can't get.
23:47
Cassandra: I can't do it because, because it has to be right, and many times it will take me so long to do things because I can't get it right and so I don't get it at all.
23:57
Cassandra: So I would take me through that process as a as a client.
24:02
Alicia: That's a big one.
24:02
Alicia: A lot, of, a lot of women, particularly women, struggle with that.
24:05
Alicia: I would tell you to just go back and talk to the story of your mom and look at your mom from who she was, as a human being, cause we're going to look at her parents as superheroes, but as a human being, all the things that she said to you were nothing but her own fears being projected onto you.
24:20
Alicia: So if you can start to see that, um, why are you wearing that?
24:25
Alicia: She's afraid that you might go out and someone's not gonna like it.
24:28
Alicia: You're gonna get make fun of them, just saying, maybe that was her, her thought process, but now we need to be, go down into your site and be like little cassandra.
24:35
Alicia: Was that true?
24:37
Alicia: No, that was your mom's fears projecting onto you right so now does that mean I have to be perfect?
24:46
Alicia: no, think about all the times that I was imperfect and it turned out to be a beautiful thing.
24:50
Alicia: So we're just having conversations with our inner child and it's really starting that first, and then it's saying let's what would happen.
24:57
Alicia: What's what?
24:58
Alicia: What's the best thing that happened if I start the first step?
25:00
Alicia: What's maybe the worst thing that could happen if I start the first step?
25:05
Alicia: Maybe somebody's not going to like it.
25:07
Cassandra: Right.
25:08
Alicia: Am I really going to doing this?
25:09
Alicia: Am I really doing this for them or for me?
25:11
Alicia: I really want to do this for me.
25:12
Alicia: So if that's what's holding you back as this other person, so what if I did this for myself?
25:25
Alicia: What's?
25:25
Alicia: What's the feeling I'm going to have?
25:26
Alicia: And I'm really big into feeling, into feelings.
25:26
Alicia: You can go in and you can talk all day long and do all the whatever If you're not feeling into it.
25:27
Alicia: That's why people say manifestation doesn't work.
25:28
Alicia: You're not feeling into it.
25:29
Alicia: You're saying you're trying to say I want I'm going to use name, I want $10 million.
25:34
Alicia: You're not feeling yet that you're worthy of it.
25:35
Alicia: So you have to feel the worthiness behind it too.
25:38
Cassandra: Okay.
25:39
Alicia: What is what is holding me back?
25:40
Alicia: Is it because I think I'm not good enough to make that next step?
25:44
Alicia: Ooh, that's a big one.
25:47
Alicia: So that seems to step back a little bit.
25:48
Alicia: It's working on the self-worth portion of it, so there's not like a whole right or wrong, like sure.
25:54
Alicia: System to guide.
25:55
Alicia: So like to tell you how that it's a that's a lot of work behind it, but really going back into it, it really comes back down to a self-worth issue that we we tend to struggle with, especially as women the self-worth that we're not good enough so we have to make it perfect.
26:10
Alicia: If it's not perfect, then we're not good enough.
26:13
Cassandra: Right, exactly With that with.
26:26
Alicia: Right, exactly, and so kind of struggling with that thing and where it comes from.
26:28
Alicia: So why do you think inner child work is necessary for everyone?
26:31
Alicia: Because everyone has inner child wounds, and so I think we have.
26:35
Alicia: If everybody, a single person on this entire planet or let's just take the United States right now, for everything we're living under, entire planet.
26:39
Alicia: Or let's just take the united states right now, for everything we're living under yeah, if every single person decided to work on part of their wounds, they would start to open up and see people differently.
26:48
Alicia: You're going to start to open up and you're going to see yourself differently.
26:51
Alicia: You're going to value yourself differently.
26:53
Alicia: You're not going to put up with some of the the things that are being brought to you and you're going to have a different value for yourself.
26:58
Alicia: You're going to treat other people're just.
26:59
Alicia: You're going to have a different value for yourself and you're going to treat other people differently too, because you're going to see the value in them.
27:02
Alicia: So imagine if every single person did that just the domino effect.
27:06
Alicia: You know the light effect that would have for the world.
27:09
Alicia: That's why every single person needs to do that, because there's something in every single person's life that is hindering them from showing a little bit of extra love.
27:18
Alicia: And so we show a little bit extra love to the world.
27:21
Cassandra: That's when the world starts to change.
27:30
Alicia: I'm a, I'm a.
27:30
Alicia: I want to be a world change maker.
27:31
Alicia: That's my mission.
27:31
Alicia: That's my mission is to do it one person, individual by individual, and that's how it starts to have so everyone can have.
27:35
Alicia: I mean, every single person can have a small impact on one person, and that one person tells the next person and teaches the next person and the next person and you got like 20 people that are that are affected by this.
27:47
Cassandra: Right.
27:48
Alicia: Then you're going to have that one person that's going to be like Tony Robbins or Oprah that's standing out there teaching the world about it.
27:54
Cassandra: Right the domino.
27:56
Alicia: Dominant, opening up.
27:57
Alicia: So that's why inner child work to me is you know, in the world selfishly if you want to like you selfishly.
28:03
Alicia: If somebody wants to look at why they should do, it is who doesn't want to live a life of just pure joy and happiness, no matter whatever situation happens.
28:12
Alicia: Yes, who doesn't want to feel worthy right.
28:15
Alicia: I mean, that's enough reason in the world to to do the work behind it okay, okay, great, um.
28:25
Cassandra: Let me talk a bit about because you talked as you were.
28:29
Cassandra: You talked about religion and growing up and, um, you shouldn't do this.
28:36
Cassandra: Of course, when you probably got pregnant, your parents were, oh my gosh, you're a bad girl.
28:42
Cassandra: Why did you do that?
28:43
Cassandra: Oh my goodness, um.
28:45
Cassandra: But but with that, you have implemented some spiritual practices to heal your inner child.
28:53
Cassandra: Okay, not not religious, like you said.
28:56
Cassandra: Spiritual practices.
28:57
Cassandra: What are some of those spiritual practices that you've acquired?
29:02
Alicia: Yeah, so I have a deep connection to, I call, I call the divine.
29:07
Alicia: I don't put names on it because I have spiritual trauma behind a lot, of, a lot of what I've went through, and so I have a huge connection to divine.
29:17
Alicia: I do believe there is such an.
29:19
Alicia: You can people call it universe or whatever there's.
29:22
Alicia: I'm a true believer.
29:24
Alicia: There's something bigger, better than sure, bigger, much bigger, better than us out there where we came from, and so as I connect to that, I get divinely guided and to and to touch into my intuitive.
29:35
Alicia: Everyone can do this.
29:36
Alicia: People think, oh, it's.
29:37
Alicia: But no, you can get intuitive messages.
29:39
Alicia: They're always sent to you.
29:40
Alicia: We just don't sit and listen, and so spending through meditation and listening to the messages, listening to what's coming up for me or for other people, that to me is the spiritual practices that that implement, and it's to me spiritual practices is showing love and kindness to people and if I'm showing love and kindness to people.
29:59
Cassandra: To me, that is true spirituality right, and you're also showing that to yourself absolutely, yeah, it starts with yourself if you can't love yourself you're gonna have a really hard time loving other people to the degree they want that they the love that needs to be given out right, exactly, yeah, there's a scripture in the bible that talks about to love your neighbor as yourself, and when I used to read that, I would always say but if you don't love yourself, it's going to be so difficult to love your neighbor, you know Um.
30:33
Alicia: I think that's.
30:33
Alicia: That's what it's talking about.
30:35
Cassandra: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
30:37
Cassandra: Okay.
30:38
Cassandra: Well, you have a toolkit.
30:41
Alicia: Do I have a toolkit?
30:42
Cassandra: You do have a toolkit.
30:44
Cassandra: You have a toolkit, um, it's like your workshops for inner child, inner child world.
30:50
Cassandra: So share some actionable steps that my listeners could do yes.
30:58
Alicia: So the first thing I want I love to tell the teacher I'll do is to actually connect with your inner child, okay it's as simply as putting your hand on your heart, closing your eyes yes deep breath in and imagine yourself when you were that little little child.
31:14
Cassandra: Okay.
31:15
Alicia: And if you can't do that, I suggest people getting a picture of themselves or something that they can imagine.
31:20
Alicia: That looks just like them.
31:21
Alicia: That reminds them of their childhood.
31:23
Alicia: Okay.
31:24
Alicia: We want to do this on a safe place.
31:26
Alicia: So we want to imagine the most the safest place.
31:28
Alicia: Start at the safest place they've ever been uh-huh go, got it kind of guide them through through that and then to open the door up and there's your little inner child.
31:38
Alicia: So, as you're, you're talking, you're going to speak to your inner child and you're going to ask your inner child how are you?
31:44
Alicia: I'm so happy to see you and just listen to it.
31:50
Alicia: If it says I don't have anything to say, just ask him.
31:53
Alicia: Okay, well, tell me something that's been upsetting and bothering you lately and just have a conversation back and forth.
31:59
Alicia: You may feel kind of crazy at first.
32:01
Alicia: You can do this and close doors, but just have a conversation back and forth with this little child and then you're going to listen.
32:06
Alicia: The most important thing is to listen without judgment, okay, because it can feel the judgment still coming off of you we're treating it like as a third person here, right and let it know that anything it has to say is valid or expected okay, so you're providing safety, you're providing listening and you're providing some love to it.
32:30
Alicia: So after that we're going to go back through and we're going to give the child some love and we're going to assure it and be like you know what.
32:35
Alicia: Whatever you went through, whatever you're feeling is valid and it should not have happened and I'm very sorry that you had to go through that and I love you and I want you to sit every single day.
32:44
Alicia: I always tell people, sit and tell your inner child I love you.
32:52
Alicia: I say I love you a little alicia, and I just feel into that love as I wanted as a child.
32:54
Alicia: How good it would make me feel as a child to have that love, just to feel loved and special and just let that child knows love and special and then when you do that.
33:03
Alicia: You're gonna let it.
33:04
Alicia: Allow it to come out and play you're gonna tie this up and this cannot have to be the same like a one session thing.
33:09
Alicia: It is for me now, but yeah, I'm feeling.
33:12
Alicia: It's multiple different.
33:13
Alicia: You may just spend some time listening for a for a while and spend some time acknowledging it, but then you want that inner child to play.
33:19
Alicia: You want it to bring it out.
33:21
Alicia: I mean, if I take a baby, if you loved, you want to be a ballerina when you're a kid, go to the ballet.
33:26
Alicia: If you're physically able to take ballet lessons, if you you know love, dress up like one.
33:32
Alicia: Or if you don't want to do that, wear a red shirt like Superwoman and walk around like you are just hot, you're Superwoman and go help somebody.
33:40
Alicia: Emanate the things, color, jump, rope, whatever you love to do.
33:45
Alicia: If you love to play basketball, play basketball.
33:47
Alicia: Get it to the childlike spirit.
33:49
Alicia: And so children want to feel.
33:55
Alicia: When you look at a child, it wants to play.
33:56
Alicia: Once it feels safe, of course, it wants those basic necessities met, you know, like a roof over its head and food and shelter.
34:00
Alicia: You know you got to take care of that way and it wants to feel love.
34:03
Alicia: So if you can give that child and that's reparenting your child now forewarning your child may want to play all the time after this and you have to be in parenting back in because there are times that you can't be playing 24 7, unfortunately in the world, yeah.
34:17
Alicia: So it's like when you have to be serious, you have to like okay, a little tight in our title.
34:21
Alicia: Okay, I'm gonna make this deal with you.
34:23
Alicia: I'm gonna work for today and then tomorrow I'll take two hours off and we'll go for a walk in the park or something so you're still playing, you're kind of compromising with it, but you're not ignoring it okay yeah okay.
34:37
Cassandra: So, alicia, so that can be used for, um, not only a happy place in your childhood, but not so happy place.
34:46
Cassandra: You know something could have happened to you, violated or something, and you can talk through that situation with that child like it's not your fault.
34:57
Cassandra: You know that this happened to you and so, because it's not your fault, I want you and you're okay.
35:05
Cassandra: Now you know.
35:06
Cassandra: So, even those bad things we find is bad, you could do that same um, that same scenario, but twist it, switch it a little bit, right?
35:19
Alicia: absolutely.
35:19
Alicia: Yeah, you always want to come from a safe place and I do want to preference this that if you have any type of abuse, such as sexual or physical or any most extreme emotional abuse, um go find like help with a licensed trauma therapist so I always tell people to go go that route because you want to take care of those things with someone who is trained and licensed to walk you through a extreme traumatic thing.
35:43
Alicia: We're talking about little wounds that happened in our childhood.
35:46
Alicia: Maybe we brought home a grade that the teachers didn't, that that you know we thought we deserved better.
35:51
Alicia: Or maybe a kid hit us or something I mean right when that happened.
35:55
Alicia: That are still kind of traumatic for us, but they're not major things that have make a major trajectory of life.
36:01
Cassandra: Okay.
36:02
Alicia: You can use these tools definitely to do that, okay, because we want to listen to our inner child and want to make it feel safe.
36:09
Alicia: So that's the biggest thing is so you want to make sure when you're coming.
36:12
Alicia: That's why you always start off, have people start off with feeling the safe space you want to do this in a safe space.
36:17
Alicia: You want to do this out in the open, I mean where you're feeling people, judgments or anything.
36:22
Alicia: You want to do this in a very safe space for yourself okay because your child can come out and it can be more vulnerable with you, it can be more open with you and it's going to trust you.
36:32
Alicia: So we want to build that trust back up, because we've been ignoring our inner child for so long.
36:35
Alicia: It doesn't trust us.
36:38
Cassandra: Okay, okay, right, because we definitely want to have emotional what we choose of emotional freedom, yeah, so what I'm hearing you say could be a strong possibility of my listeners who are stuck.
36:53
Cassandra: There's certain things that they want to do.
36:56
Cassandra: They maybe want to get out of a toxic relationship, write a book, change jobs, be an entrepreneur.
37:02
Cassandra: It may be an idea for them to go into their inner child wounds, because some of those things could be the catalyst for them being stuck.
37:16
Cassandra: Yeah, yeah.
37:18
Alicia: That was mine.
37:18
Alicia: That was mine.
37:19
Alicia: That's how I I gravitated into this work, because that was what was keeping me stuck was my inner child wounds.
37:26
Cassandra: Oh, wow, Okay.
37:27
Cassandra: Well, that's a different strategy way of looking at things, you know.
37:32
Cassandra: Yeah, that's great.
37:34
Cassandra: How can my listeners get in touch with you?
37:50
Alicia: the top of there there's a book, a link, but our book, a call button.
37:52
Alicia: Click on that button, um, book a call with me.
37:53
Alicia: We'll take about six, 30, 60 minutes, however long you need, and we'll talk through something you're going through.
37:56
Alicia: If you just need a, it's almost like a free coaching call for for the listeners, yeah, um, at the end I'll give you something then, some things to walk away with, to do, to kind of start the healing process of it and also, if they want to work with me long-term wise, then we'll talk about what that looks like.
38:12
Alicia: I do have a workshop coming up in April that's for single women that are looking to for relationship kind of help more, as they're having things that are they're stuck up against, right, how long is that workshop?
38:26
Alicia: It is four hours and it's only $99.
38:29
Alicia: And we're going to take a 30 minute lunch break and it will be recorded.
38:32
Alicia: So if you can't make that date, go ahead and sign up for it okay recording for it.
38:36
Alicia: So, okay, okay, tons of like cool, cool stuff going on in it oh, wow, um.
38:42
Cassandra: Tell us the link for that discovery.
38:44
Cassandra: Call that complimentary discovery.
38:45
Cassandra: Call.
38:46
Cassandra: Repeat that complimentary discovery call.
38:48
Cassandra: Repeat that again.
38:49
Alicia: Yes, it's Alicia Fariselli dot com.
38:51
Alicia: A-l-i-c-i-a-f-a-r-r-i-c-i-e-l-l-i dot com.
39:01
Cassandra: OK, OK, great.
39:03
Cassandra: Now my last question how is your relationship with your parents now?
39:09
Alicia: That's a great question.
39:10
Alicia: My father and I don't have a relationship anymore.
39:14
Alicia: We have a very.
39:15
Alicia: We don't speak anymore, um, due to his disownment of my choices and stuff, and that's okay, because I needed that to heal myself.
39:22
Alicia: I sent him love, I sent him grace, I've sent him forgiveness and I have totally.
39:27
Alicia: It's hurtful, but I've walked the path through and I I love him from a distance.
39:30
Alicia: My mom and I are so close and they're still together, um, so it's kind of a little awkward, but we're right.
39:36
Alicia: Yeah, my mom and I've actually grown so much closer, okay, over the years that we're, yeah, really good, sounds like you and your daughter.
39:45
Alicia: Yes, yeah interesting my mom's a lot of a lot.
39:49
Alicia: I'm so proud of her.
39:50
Alicia: She did a lot of personal growth too over the past few years.
39:53
Alicia: Okay, makes me want to cry.
39:55
Alicia: I'm so happy for her, yeah.
39:57
Cassandra: Well, it's not over yet, so you never know how this all will turn out.
40:03
Cassandra: It'll turn out the way it needs to.
40:04
Cassandra: Yeah, I applaud you for the work that you've done.
40:07
Cassandra: I think it's phenomenal.
40:08
Cassandra: I applaud you for the work that you've done.
40:13
Cassandra: I think it's phenomenal.
40:14
Cassandra: I think the work that you're doing to serve other people is phenomenal and I like to share with my listeners, and I know that you've heard some things on this podcast that have perhaps given you an epiphany, or you know that there's something that you have a friend that you want to share with.
40:29
Cassandra: I ask you to please do so, and also I ask that you subscribe to this channel so that you may hear some other enlightening what I call tidbits, breadcrumbs or diamonds or whatever that you can pick up and use that in your life moving forward.
40:48
Cassandra: So, as I always say, alicia, to my listeners, I always say bye for now.
40:54
Cassandra: I want to thank you, alicia, for your wisdom, and God bless you all.
40:59
Cassandra: Thank you, alicia.