Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #296 Dinosaurs Under the Bed

Transcript

#296 Dinosaurs Under the Bed · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: time poor parent who just wants answers.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: Now we've got to let go of our own agendas.
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: And dinosaurs are the thing that lighter up at the moment.
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  Speaker 1: And now here's the stars of our show, my mom
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  Speaker 1: and dad.
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  Speaker 3: If you are in Queensland or any number of other
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  Speaker 3: Australian states right now, it's an exciting day. School holidays Queensland,
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  Speaker 3: New South Wales, Victoria Act.
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  Speaker 4: We made it. Throw it out the dam.
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  Speaker 3: If the kids are at public schools, this is it.
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  Speaker 3: School's over for a couple of weeks. And doesn't that
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  Speaker 3: feel good?
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  Speaker 4: It feels so good.
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  Speaker 5: In two weeks time, we're going to be saying no.
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  Speaker 4: More lunchboxes for two whole weeks.
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  Speaker 3: In two weeks. So I'm like, I wish the school
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  Speaker 3: holidays didn't go this lot. I can't wait to tell
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  Speaker 3: you about our.
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  Speaker 2: School and to iron uniforms or even know where they
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  Speaker 2: are for two whole.
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  Speaker 5: Weeks and we're gonna have some fun with the kids.
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  Speaker 4: I can't wait.
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  Speaker 3: We are Justin and Kylie Coulson, where the parents have
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  Speaker 3: six kids. I'm the author of a bunch of books
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  Speaker 3: about raising Happy Families and the founder of Happy Families
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  Speaker 3: dot com DOTU. And this is the Happy Families podcast.
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: Every Friday we talk about I'll Do Better Tomorrow. It's
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  Speaker 3: a whole bunch of ideas that we've picked up as
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  Speaker 3: we've considered what's gone on over the last week in
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  Speaker 3: our family and figure out ways that we can be
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  Speaker 3: more intentional next week, either by having got stuff right
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: or having got stuff wrong bad English very bad. Having
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  Speaker 3: got stuff right before we start though, As always on
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  Speaker 3: and I'll Do Better Tomorrow Friday.
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  Speaker 4: We do our Little Wins Wednesday Winner.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, so every Wednesday on Facebook we ask you about
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  Speaker 3: your little wins with your little ones, and we pick
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  Speaker 3: a winner who picks up a twelve pack of our
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  Speaker 3: A five posters, all the justinisms, all the stuff that
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  Speaker 3: I say to help make your family happier. Kylie, I
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  Speaker 3: haven't got my glasses on. They're over on the other table,
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  Speaker 3: So can you please tell us who won and why?
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  Speaker 3: With their little winds and their little ones.
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  Speaker 2: Well, let's just say her name is Stephanie, because I'm
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  Speaker 2: not even going to try and say that last name,
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  Speaker 2: and I don't want to get it wrong. But she said,
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  Speaker 2: mister six was really excited this morning to go and
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  Speaker 2: try out a home school chess club for the first time,
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  Speaker 2: but he was also feeling really nervous about it, and
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  Speaker 2: I could see that he was pretty close to a
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  Speaker 2: big emotional outburst. I was frantically trying to think what
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  Speaker 2: to do so he wouldn't melt down and would be
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  Speaker 2: able to enjoy the experience. And then I remembered last
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  Speaker 2: week's Lighten the Load, So I'll.
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  Speaker 3: Just jump in here really quickly. Lighten the Load is
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  Speaker 3: our weekly newsletter that all Happy Families members received that
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  Speaker 3: gives people great ideas on how to make their family happier.
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  Speaker 3: And it sounds like I did that for Stephanie. So
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  Speaker 3: what happened when she remembered last week's light in the
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  Speaker 3: Load newsletter?
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  Speaker 2: After five things, he could see he was visibly calmer,
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  Speaker 2: and after things he could feel he was smiling again.
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  Speaker 2: The instructor started at that point and my son had
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  Speaker 2: a great time. There were a couple of little emotional
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  Speaker 2: overflows at other points, but I was really proud of
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  Speaker 2: how well he was able to calm himself down with
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  Speaker 2: some assistance from me. Plenty of other times this would
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: have ended with us needing to leave early because it
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  Speaker 2: was just too overwhelming in a new place with lots
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  Speaker 2: of new people. Such a win for him and me.
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: Thanks for that little email tip reminder.
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  Speaker 3: So for those who have missed the whole five things
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  Speaker 3: he could see, four things he could feel. When your
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  Speaker 3: kids started to get a little bit emotional, before it
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  Speaker 3: gets all too much, we get them to focus on
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  Speaker 3: their senses, to really ground themselves, to be present right here,
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  Speaker 3: right now, with five things they can see, four things
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  Speaker 3: that they can feel, three things that they can hear,
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  Speaker 3: two things that they can smell, and one thing that
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  Speaker 3: they can taste.
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  Speaker 4: Emily tried to take you through that the other night,
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  Speaker 4: didn't you? In bed?
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  Speaker 3: Our seven year old came and jumped in a bed
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  Speaker 3: and said, Daddy, Daddy, daddy, what's five things you can smell?
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  Speaker 3: And I knew straight to what she was doing, Like, No, No,
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  Speaker 3: you mean five things that I can see?
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  Speaker 4: Oh yeah, So what's four things you can smell? No,
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  Speaker 4: not smell?
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  Speaker 5: What can I feel? What's three things you can smell? No,
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  Speaker 5: we've got to do here next. And what about two
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  Speaker 5: things are yeah, we can do, two things we can smell.
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  Speaker 5: That was a lot of fun.
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  Speaker 3: So congratulations Stephanie, thanks for jumping in and chiming in
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  Speaker 3: with little wins Wednesday, your little wins with your little ones.
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  Speaker 3: We're going to take a break from that over the holidays,
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  Speaker 3: but I'm sure that we'll resurrected again in term three
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  Speaker 3: so that we can celebrate the little wins that you
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  Speaker 3: have with your little ones.
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  Speaker 5: Now, Kylie, who's going to go first? You or me?
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  Speaker 3: When it comes to I'll do better tomorrow and a
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  Speaker 3: quick analysis of either what worked or what didn't and
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  Speaker 3: how it can be more intentional tomorrow without our parent
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  Speaker 3: child relationships.
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  Speaker 4: Well, I had a really cool win this week, so
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  Speaker 4: did I?
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  Speaker 5: For you go first, ladies before gentlemen.
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  Speaker 2: A few weeks ago, I shared that miss Emily has
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  Speaker 2: been taking me through a completely different nighttime routine. Instead
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  Speaker 2: of me talking about all of these cutesy little stories
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  Speaker 2: that I have loved reading to my children for the
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  Speaker 2: last nearly twenty years, I have now turned to information
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  Speaker 2: books and she has pulled out every stop. I'm reading
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  Speaker 2: about dinosaurs and dragons and ants and bees and habitats
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  Speaker 2: and environments, and she has just loved it.
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  Speaker 3: She's fallen in love with dragons, like crazy about dragons
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  Speaker 3: and it reminded me of this old song that my
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  Speaker 3: parents raised me on from Anne Murray.
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  Speaker 5: I don't know if you remembered this one. I hope
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  Speaker 5: you do.
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  Speaker 4: Daddy. There's drag in the drag way.
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  Speaker 5: Oh yeah, Mama, there's grisly. Did you grow up with
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  Speaker 5: any of this?
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  Speaker 4: I did not. You introduced all of these to me
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  Speaker 4: when we had kids. But we get some real volume
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  Speaker 4: when this one goes on in the car.
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  Speaker 3: So we grew up with this and my parents used
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  Speaker 3: to play it all the time. And every time Emily
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  Speaker 3: starts talking about the dragons, I just think of hey,
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  Speaker 3: daddy by Anne Murray, this dragon in the driveway, this
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  Speaker 3: hippo in the bathtub. Anyway, so you've been obviously spending
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  Speaker 3: some time with our baby girl around this.
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  Speaker 2: I have, and one of the things that I love
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  Speaker 2: doing is a bedroom makeover. Recently, Emily has made it
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  Speaker 2: very very clear that the pink Doner cover that she
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  Speaker 2: has and the flamingos that are all over her walls,
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  Speaker 2: which she painted.
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  Speaker 4: I might add, are no longer what she would like
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  Speaker 4: to be looking at every day. She just wants to
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  Speaker 4: see dinosaurs.
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  Speaker 5: That reminds me.
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  Speaker 3: I love that classic ad. Do you remember the ad
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  Speaker 3: for the Natural Confectionery. The kids used to scream this
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  Speaker 3: at the top of their lungs every time we'd bring
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  Speaker 3: the lawis out and pulled the dinosaur out, and then
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  Speaker 3: there'd be.
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  Speaker 5: Quick game chumping dis daddy, don't chump.
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  Speaker 3: The daddy, don't chump the dinosaur daddy.
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  Speaker 2: So anyway, she wants dinosaurs and I rang you and
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  Speaker 2: I actually said, Emily's been asking for a dinosaur room.
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  Speaker 4: I think I'm going to do it. What did you say?
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  Speaker 3: I said, Well, you know what, it's really hard for
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  Speaker 3: me to admit this, but I said really, because she's
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  Speaker 3: my little girl, and I'm so used to all of
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  Speaker 3: our girls having these girly rooms, and now we're going
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  Speaker 3: to have this dinosaur room.
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  Speaker 5: Now.
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  Speaker 1: I know that.
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  Speaker 3: I know, theoretically, at every level, that's fine, that's wonderful,
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  Speaker 3: but she's hanging out with all these boys at school
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  Speaker 3: and she's into dragons and dinosaurs, and it's so unfamiliar
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  Speaker 3: to me.
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  Speaker 4: Well, We've had six girls, I've never had to do
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  Speaker 4: a dinosaur.
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  Speaker 5: Room ever, and it kind of did my head in.
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  Speaker 5: I really love it, but at the same time, I'm like, wow,
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  Speaker 5: what is going on here?
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  Speaker 4: Well, I needed some retail therapy.
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  Speaker 5: Nowdays, now that I've got my head around it, go
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  Speaker 5: for your life.
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  Speaker 4: I needed some retail therapy.
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  Speaker 5: It's been a hard, hard week.
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  Speaker 2: We're really missing Benson, and so I just thought, you
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  Speaker 2: know what, I'm just going to go and do it.
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  Speaker 2: So I went out and I started O I Care
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  Speaker 2: because they've got some gorgeous plush dinosaurs, and I thought
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  Speaker 2: that's a great place to start.
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  Speaker 4: So I ended up getting these dinosaurs.
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  Speaker 2: And I got fake trees, and we had some cut
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  Speaker 2: logs in the backyard and I pulled them in with
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  Speaker 2: some rocks, and she is in heaven.
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  Speaker 3: This room looks like it's a dinosaur fantasy. It's so good,
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  Speaker 3: and this is this is your incredible ability.
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  Speaker 4: I did have to steal our fake plants, big yeah.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah. We no longer have fake plants anywhere in the house.
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  Speaker 3: They're all just crowding the jungle that has become Emily's room.
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  Speaker 3: So your take home message around this I'll do better
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  Speaker 3: tomorrow concept is we've got to let.
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  Speaker 2: Go of our own agendas. I loved the Flamingo room.
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  Speaker 2: It was really hard for me to take it all down.
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  Speaker 2: But the reality is it's not her thing, and dinosaurs
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  Speaker 2: are the thing that light her up at the moment,
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  Speaker 2: and she just from the moment we started putting it
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  Speaker 2: all together, I couldn't get her out of there. She
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  Speaker 2: just was engrossed and engaged. And there's nothing that I
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  Speaker 2: love more than seeing my children engaged in their play.
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  Speaker 3: We'll pop a photo of the bedroom up so that
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  Speaker 3: everyone can see it on Facebook and find out what
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  Speaker 3: you've done to be creative in your kids' bedrooms. Next,
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  Speaker 3: we'll find out about my I'll do better tomorrow and
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: talk a bit more about the upcoming school holidays. It's
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: the Happy Families Podcast.
• 8:53
  Speaker 6: Imagine a home where discipline got results without anyone having
• 8:56
  Speaker 6: to feel bad or in trouble. The do's and don'ts
• 8:59
  Speaker 6: of discipline jbinar to help parents set limits with love, compassion,
• 9:03
  Speaker 6: and humanity. Find it now at happyfamilies dot com, dot
• 9:06
  Speaker 6: au slash shop.
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: It's the Happy Families Podcast, the podcast for the time
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: poor parent who just wants answers now and today we've
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: been sharing our insights of our week.
• 9:15
  Speaker 5: And the things that we've learned or made mistakes around
• 9:17
  Speaker 5: yeah or done well.
• 9:18
  Speaker 4: Where you teased us you said you did well this week.
• 9:21
  Speaker 5: So I did.
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  Speaker 3: In fact, a couple of things have gone well. First up,
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: last Saturday, we did Better Together. This was a webinar
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: workshop with fifty couples talking about how to strengthen their relationships,
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: and the feedback was overwhelmingly amazingly positive. People were saying,
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: this is just what our relationship needed. We were not
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: doing so well, and we've had the best weekend, the
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: best connection, the best conversations we've had in years.
• 9:43
  Speaker 5: It just it feels so good to.
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: Make a difference in people's lives, families, relationships. And that
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: was a real highlight, and it helped us to be
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: a lot more intentional about our relationship as well, which
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: was great. But the thing that really did it for
• 9:53
  Speaker 3: me this week was just one afternoon after school. I've
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: been working all kinds of hours, doing webinars at night,
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: working all day, kind of just doing the stuff that
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: so many parents do, where you're busy working and you
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: don't get time with the kids. And I just thought,
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: one afternoon, blow it, I've done enough of this. I
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: need to see my kids. And so I walked out
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: the door and.
• 10:12
  Speaker 5: She said I'm done.
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: At about three thirty four o'clock one afternoon, took them
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: to the park, kicked a ball, throw a frisbee, pushed
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: them on the swings, just the three little ones. It's
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: so simple, and the word that comes to mind is
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: it was just heaven.
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: I think you had a milkshake. The kids jobbed you in.
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: Did you have a milkshake? And you didn't bring me
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: one home?
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  Speaker 3: I don't think that I had one. I think I
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: bought one for everyone else though. You know what I'm like,
• 10:33
  Speaker 3: I'm too cheap to buy one for myself or me. Clearly,
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  Speaker 3: I hate spending eight bucks on a drink. It's ridiculous.
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  Speaker 3: And there were three kids with me. You don't how
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: many milkshakes I could have made it home with twenty
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  Speaker 3: four dollars. That's milkshakes for a month.
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  Speaker 5: Unbelievable. I'll do better tomorrow. I don't know. Is that
• 10:52
  Speaker 5: a win?
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  Speaker 3: Am I getting it right if I buy the kids milkshakes?
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  Speaker 3: Or is that a bad budgetary decision that just crosses
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: out all the good that I did by spending time
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: with the kids.
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: I think getting frustrated that you spend the money is
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: when you went wrong, right.
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  Speaker 3: I should just gladly hand it over here, have eight
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: dollars for five hundred milli liters of milk.
• 11:09
  Speaker 4: Gosht it tastes so good.
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: Hey, it's school holidays just around the corner for most
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: states starting this afternoon. That means that you and I
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: Kylie are going to well, we're going to keep the
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: podcast going with three minute reminders each morning.
• 11:22
  Speaker 5: We're going to keep it really short.
• 11:24
  Speaker 3: A couple of bonus episodes in the holidays with some
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: interviews and other good stuff, but we're really going to
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: just do our best to help everyone to have a
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: happier family with three minute snippets. We could call it
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: three minute therapy, just to help people have a happier family.
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: So that's going to kick off if you talk for
• 11:39
  Speaker 3: less than three minutes, that's going to kick off from Monday.
• 11:42
  Speaker 5: I can'pfully you said that. Gosh, do you want to
• 11:45
  Speaker 5: do the outro stuff? Then? Since I've talked so much, no,
• 11:48
  Speaker 5: come on.
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: The Happy Families podcast is produced by Justin Rulan from
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: Bridge Media.
• 11:55
  Speaker 5: YEA our executive producer.
• 11:57
  Speaker 4: Our executive producer is come on, you talk.
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: To me about all the t's Craig Bruth, Craig, are
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: you ever going to forgive Globe for that You're so
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: unfair to me?
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  Speaker 5: Yeah, and what happens next?
• 12:13
  Speaker 4: You are so unpair?
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: Come on?
• 12:15
  Speaker 4: What am I supposed to say?
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: Now?
• 12:17
  Speaker 5: If you really love the podcast?
• 12:19
  Speaker 4: If you really love the podcast, you can contact us.
• 12:21
  Speaker 5: On you can contact your phone number.
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: You can contact contact us at podcasts dot com dot au.
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: No one's going to get us if they do that
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: this podcast at happy families dot com dot A you,
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: But that was supposed to be the bit where you
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: ask people leave us a rating and review because they
• 12:40
  Speaker 3: love us so much, they love you.
• 12:42
  Speaker 5: So much, they won't love me this much anymore. Just
• 12:45
  Speaker 5: do that bit. I think we should drag this on
• 12:48
  Speaker 5: all the way to the very end.
• 12:49
  Speaker 4: Craig, save me.
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: If you enjoy the podcast, you can leave us a
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: rating and review Apple Podcasts. Those ratings and reviews help
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: other people to find out about the podcast and make
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: their families happier. And if you'd like a need more
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: information about making your family feel great, you can find
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: it at
• 13:04
  Speaker 4: At happy families dot com dot are you we need
• 13:07
  Speaker 4: a holiday