Latest / Movie Meltdown / 106.1: Treevenge of Six to Eight Black Men

Transcript

106.1: Treevenge of Six to Eight Black Men · Movie Meltdown

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Merry Christmas!
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: Dinner with Bob!
• 0:03
  Speaker 3: The following feature has been rated R by the Motion
• 0:06
  Speaker 3: Picture Association of America. It is intended for mature audiences
• 0:10
  Speaker 3: and parental discretion is advised.
• 0:13
  Speaker 4: Our nuclear reactor.
• 0:14
  Speaker 5: Pumping out one million kilowatts of power.
• 0:34
  Speaker 3: It comes along just once a year.
• 0:59
  Speaker 4: On winter's wings, December's rear.
• 1:03
  Speaker 6: Ah, humbug faces commandeer. And then appears a perfect Christmas time.
• 1:09
  Speaker 7: All the world assembles its pieces.
• 1:15
  Speaker 4: Grandmothers, nephews and nieces. With everyone, the joy increases. Get
• 1:22
  Speaker 4: behind the perfect Christmas time.
• 1:25
  Speaker 8: What's up and welcome to Movie Meltdown. I am Brian.
• 1:27
  Speaker 4: I'm Greg.
• 1:28
  Speaker 6: I'm Marlena.
• 1:29
  Speaker 8: And welcome to Movie Mountdown's Fuck Me Santa Holiday Special.
• 1:32
  Speaker 6: Fuck me Santa, fuck me Santa, fuck me Santa.
• 1:34
  Speaker 4: Wow, I didn't know it had a special name.
• 1:36
  Speaker 8: Oh, it's special, as we always are quite special. Oh,
• 1:43
  Speaker 8: so wonderful holiday times.
• 1:46
  Speaker 4: Yay, it's snowy outside.
• 1:49
  Speaker 8: Yeah, it actually is here and it's freaking cold and
• 1:52
  Speaker 8: we're all really annoyed by it. the background yeah which
• 1:58
  Speaker 8: doesn't even work actually so we're also taking donations to
• 2:01
  Speaker 8: keep us from freezing to death because it's usually about
• 2:03
  Speaker 8: 40 degrees in here most of the.
• 2:05
  Speaker 6: Time it was 55 when i got.
• 2:06
  Speaker 8: In that's because i've been running it all day plus
• 2:09
  Speaker 8: two space heaters just to get it up to 55
• 2:11
  Speaker 8: right sad is what.
• 2:14
  Speaker 6: It is that's not an exaggeration it really was.
• 2:17
  Speaker 8: 15 degrees and again i've been running it all day we.
• 2:21
  Speaker 4: Can see our breath yeah you'll hear me coughing throughout.
• 2:24
  Speaker 8: The episode is what it is So while we're on
• 2:27
  Speaker 8: the holiday topics, yeah, this one I just wanted to
• 2:31
  Speaker 8: throw out there. OK, people in the world out there,
• 2:36
  Speaker 8: you can stop with your funny winter hats. I get it.
• 2:39
  Speaker 4: Is it just me?
• 2:40
  Speaker 8: I mean, I've seen them in years past, but all
• 2:43
  Speaker 8: of a sudden this year it is. rampant it is
• 2:45
  Speaker 8: just overrun every dork who thinks they're cool is wearing
• 2:49
  Speaker 8: a hat that looks like a moose or has ears
• 2:53
  Speaker 8: on it and they look like a giant cat or
• 2:56
  Speaker 8: has giant ear flaps in his plaid and they look
• 3:00
  Speaker 8: like they're pretending like it's a halloween costume that i'm
• 3:02
  Speaker 8: a lumberjack and they're so exaggerated and over the top
• 3:05
  Speaker 8: and is it just me or is everybody saying.
• 3:07
  Speaker 6: These I think they're... I've seen them on children.
• 3:13
  Speaker 8: No, that's the sad part. I would have no problem
• 3:15
  Speaker 8: with them on children. In fact, actually, I almost stopped
• 3:17
  Speaker 8: that kid the other day because he went by. His
• 3:19
  Speaker 8: was a normal hat, but on it, it had an
• 3:21
  Speaker 8: embroidered robot. I was like, dude, you are cool. Where
• 3:24
  Speaker 8: can I get a big version of that hat?
• 3:26
  Speaker 4: That's awesome.
• 3:27
  Speaker 6: I got a little strawberry hat. for my niece it's
• 3:29
  Speaker 6: real cute to hit everyone like stops her and wants
• 3:32
  Speaker 6: to like be like oh that's so cute and it
• 3:34
  Speaker 6: is cute it's damn cute.
• 3:36
  Speaker 4: Does it say like very cute on it no it's just.
• 3:39
  Speaker 8: A strawberry not sponsored by strawberry shortcake.
• 3:43
  Speaker 4: It smells like strawberries.
• 3:45
  Speaker 8: I don't know. I've noticed that a lot lately.
• 3:47
  Speaker 4: That's the thing.
• 3:47
  Speaker 8: If it was kids, I'd be like, well, whatever. You're
• 3:49
  Speaker 8: not even to blame. Your mom's put that on you.
• 3:52
  Speaker 8: Or sometimes kids just like to randomly wear goofy costumes
• 3:55
  Speaker 8: out in the public. I kind of like that on kids.
• 3:57
  Speaker 8: You know what? These people are in their 20s. You're
• 4:00
  Speaker 8: not a kid anymore. You're not that cool, I hate
• 4:02
  Speaker 8: to tell you.
• 4:03
  Speaker 6: Well, they have those hats that are now, it's like
• 4:06
  Speaker 6: a hat scarf mittens combo for adults. It'll be like
• 4:09
  Speaker 6: a panda hat. And it's like a scarf, and then
• 4:11
  Speaker 6: it's got a little panda face to it.
• 4:13
  Speaker 8: See, I think that's part of the problem, is it's
• 4:15
  Speaker 8: hit that point. Because we saw that on the way
• 4:17
  Speaker 8: back from when we went to Horror Hound, when we
• 4:20
  Speaker 8: hit the wonderful mall.
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 4:23
  Speaker 8: There wasn't really anything in that mall. It kind of sucked.
• 4:26
  Speaker 4: No, that mall was awesome.
• 4:27
  Speaker 6: The Florence Mall?
• 4:28
  Speaker 4: Whatever you say.
• 4:29
  Speaker 8: I didn't buy nothing.
• 4:30
  Speaker 6: Well, it's mostly girl stuff.
• 4:32
  Speaker 8: And I had no money.
• 4:33
  Speaker 4: That was the.
• 4:34
  Speaker 6: Most exciting mall trip I've ever had.
• 4:36
  Speaker 9: Yikes.
• 4:36
  Speaker 6: I keep thinking, like, every weekend, I'm like, fuck, I
• 4:38
  Speaker 6: need to go back to Florence. Go to H &
• 4:39
  Speaker 6: M and, like. Florence Mall, that's where it's at.
• 4:42
  Speaker 8: Whatever. But that's when I saw that it hit, because again,
• 4:46
  Speaker 8: I think I've avoided malls the rest of this year
• 4:47
  Speaker 8: so far. So I think that was the first time
• 4:50
  Speaker 8: I'd seen those hats and those level of dorky hats
• 4:53
  Speaker 8: had hit super mainstream. I've seen people for years now
• 4:56
  Speaker 8: kind of making hand-knitted versions that were kind of crossing
• 5:00
  Speaker 8: over into the dorky territory. But now that they're mass
• 5:03
  Speaker 8: marketed and you could get them in five different shops
• 5:05
  Speaker 8: in that mall, I was like, okay, Now it's gone
• 5:08
  Speaker 8: too far. It's way too popular. And then after that,
• 5:10
  Speaker 8: I've seen 20 people wearing something equally as ridiculous in
• 5:14
  Speaker 8: the last several weeks.
• 5:16
  Speaker 4: So, yeah, I don't know.
• 5:18
  Speaker 8: I'm all for people being able to dress however they
• 5:20
  Speaker 8: want and do whatever they want, but I just don't
• 5:22
  Speaker 8: get it. They're overly dorky. Just buy yourself a toboggan.
• 5:26
  Speaker 8: I don't know what you're going for.
• 5:27
  Speaker 4: I think anything goes if you're cold, but if it's
• 5:32
  Speaker 4: your only option. animal faces?
• 5:34
  Speaker 8: I mean, to me, that seems like a very free plan.
• 5:36
  Speaker 4: No, I'm not advocating them. I'm not advocating them. I'm
• 5:39
  Speaker 4: just saying, I've worn some pretty dorky looking things out
• 5:44
  Speaker 4: in the bitter cold, but that's just because I'm mixing
• 5:48
  Speaker 4: and matching to stay warm you know again planning on
• 5:51
  Speaker 4: looking like.
• 5:51
  Speaker 8: An idiot that'd be different if we were like in
• 5:53
  Speaker 8: the wreckage of a plane crash and i was about
• 5:56
  Speaker 8: to eat one of them anyway i probably wouldn't call
• 5:58
  Speaker 8: them out for having a funny hat but just i
• 6:01
  Speaker 8: mean this was not like they were out in the
• 6:03
  Speaker 8: bitter cold they walked from their car into the building
• 6:05
  Speaker 8: you know from five feet away so it's like no
• 6:08
  Speaker 8: you were wearing that because you're trying to get attention
• 6:10
  Speaker 8: basically But maybe that's just me. Hey, if you guys listening,
• 6:13
  Speaker 8: if you're one of those people that have one of
• 6:15
  Speaker 8: those hats, let us know why. Are you actually getting
• 6:19
  Speaker 8: your fulfillment out of it, or are people actually commenting
• 6:22
  Speaker 8: and being like, wow, that's an awesome hat? Maybe so.
• 6:25
  Speaker 8: Maybe I'm just missing the boat. Wouldn't be the first time.
• 6:29
  Speaker 6: Well, yesterday I was at Bingo, and there was this
• 6:32
  Speaker 6: lady wearing.
• 6:34
  Speaker 6: Wearing this very bold graphic print muumuu, and she had
• 6:40
  Speaker 6: this little hat that was like a horsey, I guess.
• 6:44
  Speaker 6: It had the little eardrums, but it had a mane,
• 6:46
  Speaker 6: and then she had rain boots on.
• 6:48
  Speaker 4: See what I'm saying?
• 6:49
  Speaker 8: That's too much, man.
• 6:50
  Speaker 4: The people that go to bingo, they're not trying too hard.
• 6:52
  Speaker 4: They're just... They're clueless.
• 6:55
  Speaker 8: They're crazy old ladies is what they are.
• 6:57
  Speaker 4: I've seen crazy old ladies at bingo so... ensconced in
• 7:01
  Speaker 4: whatever they're doing that they can't even wipe their nose.
• 7:04
  Speaker 4: It's like dripping from the tip of their nose. I
• 7:06
  Speaker 4: used to work bingo as a kid at church. Yeah.
• 7:11
  Speaker 4: Or they can't tap the ash off their cigarette. That's bad.
• 7:15
  Speaker 8: They might miss, you know, a number.
• 7:17
  Speaker 4: One letter. Yeah. I love that. Serious, serious people play bingo.
• 7:24
  Speaker 4: Don't mess with them.
• 7:25
  Speaker 6: I know. I've never, ever won at bingo.
• 7:27
  Speaker 9: Ever.
• 7:28
  Speaker 4: I try to stay away from bingo.
• 7:30
  Speaker 6: I fucking love bingo. Love the shit out of bingo.
• 7:33
  Speaker 8: So, yeah, that was my winter-related complaint. Does anybody else
• 7:37
  Speaker 8: have any before we get into our geek week?
• 7:39
  Speaker 4: I get sick of the constant... Same thing within the summer, though,
• 7:44
  Speaker 4: is the constant need for... some people to express to
• 7:48
  Speaker 4: everyone it's cold outside really it was 15 fucking degrees
• 7:53
  Speaker 4: outside you have to tell me it's fucking cold my
• 7:55
  Speaker 4: heater's on i've got a blanket on don't tell me
• 7:57
  Speaker 4: it's cold outside.
• 7:58
  Speaker 8: It's just bullshit i mean it's what people do they
• 8:01
  Speaker 8: also and i go through this all the time when
• 8:03
  Speaker 8: people are like hey how's it going how are you
• 8:05
  Speaker 8: and i'm like you don't really care because because certain
• 8:08
  Speaker 8: people i'll be like you know what and i'll tell
• 8:09
  Speaker 8: them i'll unload on them and i'll be like well
• 8:12
  Speaker 8: you know what actually and then they're like i just
• 8:15
  Speaker 8: want to just say fine So, yeah, it's just sort
• 8:18
  Speaker 8: of the bullshit conversation that people make for no good reason. So, yeah, weather,
• 8:23
  Speaker 8: how you doing, how's the kids? I don't know. Nobody
• 8:27
  Speaker 8: really cares about any of that shit.
• 8:29
  Speaker 4: It's what we do.
• 8:30
  Speaker 8: Anything else?
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: No.
• 8:32
  Speaker 6: No weather-related complaints here.
• 8:35
  Speaker 4: Mine was fashion, actually. Slash weather.
• 8:39
  Speaker 8: Seasonal fashion complaints.
• 8:41
  Speaker 6: Nothing else.
• 8:43
  Speaker 9: All right.
• 8:43
  Speaker 8: Then we can roll on into this week's and several
• 8:46
  Speaker 8: weeks back. Cause it's been a while since we've actually
• 8:47
  Speaker 8: sat down here in the, uh, makeshift studio here. So it's, yeah,
• 8:52
  Speaker 8: it's been a while. So we probably got some good
• 8:53
  Speaker 8: buildup going here.
• 8:54
  Speaker 4: So no idea.
• 8:56
  Speaker 8: Yeah. See, luckily I didn't do anything. So I, at
• 8:59
  Speaker 8: least we, you know, I've at least had a chance
• 9:02
  Speaker 8: to sit down and watch a few things. So the,
• 9:04
  Speaker 8: the most, uh, important of which, especially since it just
• 9:08
  Speaker 8: happened yesterday was the, the wrap up of Dexter, uh,
• 9:11
  Speaker 8: which I guess, have you not seen it?
• 9:12
  Speaker 6: I haven't seen the current season.
• 9:13
  Speaker 8: Then I won't go into it in depth, but it's
• 9:16
  Speaker 8: pretty awesome. I've been pretty impressed with this season, and
• 9:21
  Speaker 8: a lot of people have issues with it because they
• 9:22
  Speaker 8: don't like the new characters. It is funny, up to
• 9:26
  Speaker 8: season three, it was just all about him and the regulars,
• 9:29
  Speaker 8: and by the time they hit four and they brought
• 9:31
  Speaker 8: in a huge name like John Lithgow, it was like, okay,
• 9:35
  Speaker 8: now it's a big deal to be the guest star
• 9:37
  Speaker 8: in Dexter. So he was such a big deal that
• 9:39
  Speaker 8: now it's like, Once he's not on the show in
• 9:42
  Speaker 8: the next season, they had to replace him, and they
• 9:44
  Speaker 8: couldn't even replace him with, like, one. There are, like,
• 9:46
  Speaker 8: three people this time that are, like, their new guest stars.
• 9:48
  Speaker 6: There's probably people fighting to be on this. Yeah.
• 9:50
  Speaker 8: I mean, it's such a huge cultural thing now, and
• 9:53
  Speaker 8: it's got such a following. And they're all so devoted
• 9:56
  Speaker 8: that even if you just get kind of tied in, yeah,
• 9:58
  Speaker 8: you can kind of bank on that for Rick. for
• 10:00
  Speaker 8: the rest of your career possibly so yeah i actually
• 10:03
  Speaker 8: like again i wasn't thrilled with the actress i don't
• 10:06
  Speaker 8: know i was questioning the choice when they brought in
• 10:09
  Speaker 8: the new actress for this season she actually did a
• 10:11
  Speaker 8: good job um i won't go too far into because
• 10:15
  Speaker 8: a lot of people were pissy yesterday because people were
• 10:17
  Speaker 8: already posting how it ended online and people were.
• 10:20
  Speaker 6: Really pissy about how it ended last year.
• 10:22
  Speaker 8: Yeah, same thing.
• 10:23
  Speaker 4: And I'm like, well, if you don't like it, don't
• 10:25
  Speaker 4: watch it.
• 10:25
  Speaker 8: Stay off the internet.
• 10:27
  Speaker 10: Right.
• 10:28
  Speaker 4: I don't know. There's a way to avoid getting information
• 10:32
  Speaker 4: about Dexter. Don't look up Dexter.
• 10:34
  Speaker 8: Well, not necessarily because on any of the feeds, any
• 10:36
  Speaker 8: of your Facebook and Twitter feeds, people are like, oh man,
• 10:39
  Speaker 8: I can't believe he got shot in the head.
• 10:41
  Speaker 4: Thanks for fucking blowing it for me.
• 10:42
  Speaker 8: So, which is not actually how.
• 10:46
  Speaker 4: The shower at the end of the season oh my
• 10:48
  Speaker 4: god it was a dream the whole series was a
• 10:52
  Speaker 4: dream so.
• 10:55
  Speaker 8: If only that was the first time that's happened so
• 10:59
  Speaker 8: yeah it actually i liked as it went on i
• 11:01
  Speaker 8: actually liked what they did with this new character i
• 11:03
  Speaker 8: like how they progressed and the relationship that actually kind
• 11:07
  Speaker 8: of builds between them and i think it's it's probably
• 11:09
  Speaker 8: one of the most impressive things i've seen especially from
• 11:13
  Speaker 8: from him from dexter it's like it really gives him
• 11:15
  Speaker 8: a whole new side to his character that I've never
• 11:18
  Speaker 8: seen him tap into before. So it was kind of interesting, actually.
• 11:22
  Speaker 8: I liked what they did with that. I actually liked
• 11:24
  Speaker 8: the other two. They bring in Peter Weller, who is
• 11:27
  Speaker 8: pretty awesome, which I cannot get back to on another
• 11:30
  Speaker 8: one of these. Yeah, he was another one of those
• 11:32
  Speaker 8: that they brought in. He's just entertaining.
• 11:34
  Speaker 4: Like, he's so good.
• 11:35
  Speaker 8: And this one, he's like a sleazeball, and he, like,
• 11:38
  Speaker 8: just goes with that. And he totally delivers on that.
• 11:41
  Speaker 8: Johnny Lee Miller's worked in, who is awesome. He's in
• 11:44
  Speaker 8: his fancy business suit the whole time. He's looking, yeah,
• 11:47
  Speaker 8: he's looking cool. And he does another good performance. So
• 11:50
  Speaker 8: pretty much all of the people they brought in are
• 11:52
  Speaker 8: really solid, so. If you haven't seen it, yep. I
• 11:55
  Speaker 8: think it's definitely worth watching, but that's definitely up for
• 11:58
  Speaker 8: argument because people were kind of pissy about the whole
• 12:00
  Speaker 8: new direction. The one thing I will say is it
• 12:02
  Speaker 8: doesn't veer off once it goes in the storyline. Especially
• 12:05
  Speaker 8: in the old episodes, they would have those one-off shows
• 12:08
  Speaker 8: where it would just be about one person and he
• 12:10
  Speaker 8: would take care of that, and then it would go back.
• 12:12
  Speaker 8: There was still the overall story arc and main things
• 12:14
  Speaker 8: that were going on throughout the whole season, but... It
• 12:17
  Speaker 8: would take turns here and there and do the one-off
• 12:19
  Speaker 8: stories and then come back to the main story down
• 12:21
  Speaker 8: the road.
• 12:22
  Speaker 4: Like X-Files.
• 12:23
  Speaker 8: Like X-Files used to always do that. It was the
• 12:25
  Speaker 8: big government conspiracy was the main thing, and then there'd
• 12:27
  Speaker 8: be a Monster of the Week episode.
• 12:28
  Speaker 4: So they had that too.
• 12:30
  Speaker 8: His was just the Psychopath of the Week, and he
• 12:31
  Speaker 8: went and took care of him, and then it came
• 12:33
  Speaker 8: back to whoever the main villain of the season was
• 12:35
  Speaker 8: that year. This year didn't really do that. The second
• 12:38
  Speaker 8: episode in, I thought that's what they were doing. I
• 12:40
  Speaker 8: thought this guy that they bring in is sort of
• 12:42
  Speaker 8: their Psycho of the Week, and they were going to
• 12:43
  Speaker 8: take care of him. And as it goes on... It
• 12:46
  Speaker 8: ends up just following, you know, you go down the
• 12:48
  Speaker 8: rabbit hole at that point, and everything that takes place
• 12:50
  Speaker 8: after that is part of this one big story.
• 12:52
  Speaker 4: Sounds like good writing, though, that season does that.
• 12:56
  Speaker 8: Again, I liked it. I liked where it went. But again,
• 12:58
  Speaker 8: a lot of people had problems with this new character
• 13:01
  Speaker 8: they brought in, so that's what pisses them off about
• 13:03
  Speaker 8: the entire season is nothing but about.
• 13:05
  Speaker 4: This new character.
• 13:07
  Speaker 8: Some people might have issues with that.
• 13:09
  Speaker 4: I always complain about shows that obviously don't really have
• 13:12
  Speaker 4: a logical next step like prison break or something like that.
• 13:16
  Speaker 4: Not that I've seen prison break, but you can only
• 13:18
  Speaker 4: have prison break for so fucking long. You would think,
• 13:20
  Speaker 4: but yeah. How many seasons?
• 13:22
  Speaker 8: At least two or three.
• 13:23
  Speaker 6: Well, they like broke out of prison and didn't they
• 13:24
  Speaker 6: try to break back into prison?
• 13:26
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's something crazy.
• 13:27
  Speaker 8: Sometimes you have to do that.
• 13:29
  Speaker 4: My point is, you know, if you don't like your series...
• 13:33
  Speaker 4: changing so that it can run longer, then just watch
• 13:37
  Speaker 4: the old episodes and shut up. Because I want it
• 13:39
  Speaker 4: to be exactly the way it used to be. Then
• 13:41
  Speaker 4: just watch them on DVD. Now you can have that.
• 13:45
  Speaker 4: But things have to change to move a story along.
• 13:47
  Speaker 4: And eventually everything has to have some kind of ending
• 13:51
  Speaker 4: or some kind of development in your character.
• 13:53
  Speaker 8: Sometimes they just take a huge left turn. I was
• 13:55
  Speaker 8: thinking this because now they've started running the reruns of
• 13:59
  Speaker 8: My Name is Earl. And you get to that season
• 14:01
  Speaker 8: in the prison. And I'm just like, wow. I mean,
• 14:05
  Speaker 8: it is just far and away from every other season
• 14:07
  Speaker 8: of that show. It's its own thing. And it's like,
• 14:10
  Speaker 8: I guess if you're on board with that, you're okay.
• 14:12
  Speaker 8: If you like the old show, you're kind of screwed
• 14:14
  Speaker 8: because they don't really get back to that. And I
• 14:17
  Speaker 8: think I kind of quit watching around there. And it
• 14:19
  Speaker 8: wasn't even because I was mad. I think they just
• 14:21
  Speaker 8: switched the schedule or something and I fell out of it.
• 14:23
  Speaker 8: But it's funny when I go back and I'm like,
• 14:24
  Speaker 8: did they even resolve that story? It's like, I don't know.
• 14:27
  Speaker 8: It took such a weird turn. that you don't even
• 14:30
  Speaker 8: you know it's not even the same show.
• 14:32
  Speaker 4: Almost I've only ever watched it in syndication I've seen
• 14:37
  Speaker 4: probably most of the episodes in syndication now so I
• 14:40
  Speaker 4: you're so out of time sometimes with those that I
• 14:43
  Speaker 4: don't really know where that whole thing but yeah definitely
• 14:45
  Speaker 4: I know there definitely is a difference I don't even
• 14:48
  Speaker 4: know if Maybe those episodes aren't even on syndication yet.
• 14:51
  Speaker 4: I'm not sure.
• 14:51
  Speaker 8: I think maybe they're just coming on because I just
• 14:53
  Speaker 8: saw one this week and I was like, oh, yeah,
• 14:55
  Speaker 8: I forgot about the prison season. And it's like it's
• 14:57
  Speaker 8: the whole run of the season.
• 14:58
  Speaker 4: Like it's a big turn in that storyline, which.
• 15:01
  Speaker 8: Again, is a much sillier plot line, but I still
• 15:04
  Speaker 8: think the writing on that was genius.
• 15:06
  Speaker 4: I think some of those are the best developed characters
• 15:09
  Speaker 4: I've seen on TV in a long time.
• 15:10
  Speaker 8: Crab Man is awesome. Darnell rocks.
• 15:15
  Speaker 6: My mom loves that show.
• 15:17
  Speaker 8: I think we've discussed the fact that she doesn't get
• 15:19
  Speaker 8: the irony.
• 15:19
  Speaker 6: No, she doesn't. It's a slice of life.
• 15:24
  Speaker 8: They're shooting this next door at the other trailer.
• 15:26
  Speaker 6: I was watching this, or I saw the DVD set
• 15:28
  Speaker 6: at Target, and I was like, I was trying to
• 15:31
  Speaker 6: explain to someone, I was like, this is mine and
• 15:33
  Speaker 6: my mom's man. She'll call me and be like, our
• 15:36
  Speaker 6: man's on TV. Or I'd be in the other room
• 15:39
  Speaker 6: and she'd text me and be like, our man's on TV.
• 15:42
  Speaker 6: And I'm just like, I don't like sharing a man
• 15:43
  Speaker 6: with my mom.
• 15:45
  Speaker 8: Really creepy.
• 15:46
  Speaker 4: But if he was in the room.
• 15:49
  Speaker 8: I'm not saying, you know, if he still had the mustache, sure.
• 15:51
  Speaker 9: Right. Yeah, yeah.
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: Oh, man.
• 15:55
  Speaker 4: So, yeah, but.
• 15:57
  Speaker 8: I guess back to the Dexter setup where we veered
• 15:59
  Speaker 8: off from. The only other thing I was going to
• 16:03
  Speaker 8: say is I've always been impressed with it, but I
• 16:05
  Speaker 8: will give it credit because it's held up. It's done
• 16:08
  Speaker 8: this impressively all along, but it's still doing it. I
• 16:10
  Speaker 8: don't think there's any show or even movie really that
• 16:14
  Speaker 8: ratchets up the tension like it does. I've just noticed
• 16:18
  Speaker 8: it in these last two seasons. It's uncomfortable sometimes. You're
• 16:22
  Speaker 8: just like, holy shit they're gonna get busted and one
• 16:26
  Speaker 8: part of it is just good writing and it really
• 16:28
  Speaker 8: is tight and they do make sure that all these
• 16:30
  Speaker 8: elements are there to create the tension but on top
• 16:32
  Speaker 8: of that i'll also give them credit for writing because
• 16:34
  Speaker 8: sometimes they just say fuck it and you know it's
• 16:36
  Speaker 8: one of those oh they're gonna get out of it
• 16:38
  Speaker 8: oh it's gonna go back to the way it was
• 16:39
  Speaker 8: and sometimes it's not sometimes they just turn around and
• 16:41
  Speaker 8: off somebody or he ends up killing somebody that's a
• 16:44
  Speaker 8: regular cast member or you know it's like it really
• 16:47
  Speaker 8: does like they don't you know shy away from those
• 16:51
  Speaker 8: changes that really could be monumental. They, they've done that before.
• 16:54
  Speaker 8: So now that you're on season four and five, you're like, okay, uh,
• 16:59
  Speaker 8: they could do something like that. So who the hell
• 17:00
  Speaker 8: knows where they're going to go with this? I think
• 17:02
  Speaker 8: it also adds another level of uncomfortableness where you're just like, fuck,
• 17:07
  Speaker 8: what the hell's going to happen now? So I, I
• 17:09
  Speaker 8: give him credit. It's, it's still really impressive to.
• 17:11
  Speaker 4: Watch as far as I'm concerned, but that sounds, I mean, again,
• 17:14
  Speaker 4: I've not, I've always been very interested in it and
• 17:16
  Speaker 4: not had a chance to watch it, but that whole
• 17:18
  Speaker 4: premise of the fact that, uh, main character can die
• 17:22
  Speaker 4: that's to me that ups the stakes and that's why
• 17:25
  Speaker 4: it makes it more realistic because so many shows well
• 17:28
  Speaker 4: at least I know these eight people are still going
• 17:30
  Speaker 4: to be okay and things are going to go on
• 17:32
  Speaker 4: next week But if somebody dies, that throws your whole
• 17:34
  Speaker 4: world out of order.
• 17:36
  Speaker 6: It's like the Harry Potter thing.
• 17:37
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 17:38
  Speaker 8: Or, I mean, if anything, yeah, watch some more Joss Whedon.
• 17:41
  Speaker 8: Because Joss is not afraid to fucking kill a regular. Which,
• 17:44
  Speaker 8: I mean, and out of nowhere. Like, it's not even
• 17:46
  Speaker 8: a big monumental episode. Midway through the season, sometimes you're
• 17:48
  Speaker 8: just like, shit.
• 17:49
  Speaker 4: Did they just die? Like, wow.
• 17:52
  Speaker 8: So, yeah, anybody who writes that way and, you know,
• 17:56
  Speaker 8: kind of breaks the conventions of TV... That's why I
• 17:59
  Speaker 8: don't watch a lot of TV, because most of it
• 18:01
  Speaker 8: is boring, and it does wrap itself back up in
• 18:03
  Speaker 8: 30 minutes or 60 minutes, and everybody that's in the
• 18:06
  Speaker 8: opening credits sequence will be back next week.
• 18:08
  Speaker 6: Full house. No matter what, everyone's going to be okay
• 18:11
  Speaker 6: at the.
• 18:11
  Speaker 4: End of the day.
• 18:12
  Speaker 6: Other than that episode where Grandpa died.
• 18:15
  Speaker 4: A few episodes of Friends might have been a lot
• 18:17
  Speaker 4: more interesting if they'd have just offed a few people.
• 18:20
  Speaker 4: Off Joey.
• 18:20
  Speaker 8: Midway through.
• 18:22
  Speaker 6: Oops.
• 18:23
  Speaker 4: I don't know which person I'd pick, though. Ross. Ross.
• 18:27
  Speaker 4: I'd have killed that fucking monkey on the first episode. Oh, man.
• 18:33
  Speaker 7: Oh, snap.
• 18:34
  Speaker 4: Not that I want to get into Friends.
• 18:36
  Speaker 8: Yeah, really. We already made a Friend reference once before
• 18:39
  Speaker 8: the episode. But we were making fun of Friends, so
• 18:42
  Speaker 8: it's okay.
• 18:43
  Speaker 11: Right.
• 18:44
  Speaker 8: Oh, Lord. So yeah, just to run through some of
• 18:47
  Speaker 8: the other stuff. I did watch Zodiac. Everybody continually over
• 18:52
  Speaker 8: the last, because somehow I'd avoided it. And I think
• 18:55
  Speaker 8: it was one of those that totally was under the radar,
• 18:57
  Speaker 8: because I think it was like a year after it
• 18:58
  Speaker 8: came out before I even knew it was a Fincher movie.
• 19:01
  Speaker 8: I was just like, wait, he did another movie? When
• 19:03
  Speaker 8: the hell did this happen? So it must have not
• 19:05
  Speaker 8: done anything at the box office, or I just didn't
• 19:07
  Speaker 8: have any money to go to the movies for a
• 19:08
  Speaker 8: long time there or something, because it was totally off
• 19:11
  Speaker 8: the radar. So I've heard a lot about it in
• 19:13
  Speaker 8: the last few years, and I finally went back, and
• 19:16
  Speaker 8: everybody that talked about it, the only term they used
• 19:19
  Speaker 8: was procedural movies. Everybody that talked about it used the
• 19:23
  Speaker 8: term procedural. And I was like, what the fuck are
• 19:25
  Speaker 8: you talking about? Stop saying that. And then I watched it.
• 19:28
  Speaker 8: And about two hours in, I'm like, holy shit.
• 19:30
  Speaker 4: You might as well.
• 19:31
  Speaker 6: Have just broken out the case files and just read
• 19:33
  Speaker 6: the case files.
• 19:34
  Speaker 8: It would have been more captivating.
• 19:36
  Speaker 12: Yeah.
• 19:36
  Speaker 8: I mean, it's not like he doesn't do a good
• 19:38
  Speaker 8: job on it. But it really is like hardcore, sticking
• 19:41
  Speaker 8: to the facts, not cutting out a lot of stuff.
• 19:44
  Speaker 8: I mean, it's almost a two-and-a-half-hour movie, I think.
• 19:46
  Speaker 4: It's really long.
• 19:47
  Speaker 9: Yeah.
• 19:48
  Speaker 8: What I guess was interesting, and usually I know a
• 19:50
  Speaker 8: good amount about serial killers because I'm a psycho, but
• 19:53
  Speaker 8: for some reason I guess I didn't know that much
• 19:55
  Speaker 8: about Zodiac because I had no idea it spanned so
• 19:58
  Speaker 8: much time. I mean, it goes on all the way
• 20:00
  Speaker 8: up into, like, the early 90s. They're still talking about him, so...
• 20:04
  Speaker 8: It's amazing how far, you know, what this started. It
• 20:08
  Speaker 8: would go through, like, dry spells where he would just
• 20:10
  Speaker 8: disappear for later. They would find out very specific reasons sometimes.
• 20:13
  Speaker 6: I like that he would kill people in the middle
• 20:15
  Speaker 6: of the day and they, like, never could figure out
• 20:17
  Speaker 6: who it was.
• 20:17
  Speaker 12: Yeah.
• 20:18
  Speaker 8: And, like, there was no real pattern at all. Like,
• 20:20
  Speaker 8: it was just like, here's a couple, here's a couple,
• 20:22
  Speaker 8: here's a random guy.
• 20:23
  Speaker 4: Like, okay.
• 20:25
  Speaker 8: And then it would be in totally different cities. And
• 20:27
  Speaker 8: it's like there really was no logic to it. It
• 20:29
  Speaker 8: was just he was crazy and he wanted to kill people. So,
• 20:32
  Speaker 8: you know.
• 20:33
  Speaker 4: There's a psychopath for you.
• 20:35
  Speaker 8: So that one's interesting. I would almost be willing to
• 20:37
  Speaker 8: most of these.
• 20:38
  Speaker 4: I watched these.
• 20:39
  Speaker 8: I'm like, yeah, that would be good to sit down
• 20:40
  Speaker 8: and watch for the show. So any of these you
• 20:42
  Speaker 8: want us to come back to, I'll do a light
• 20:44
  Speaker 8: version of. And yeah, one of the other ones was
• 20:46
  Speaker 8: mind warp. I'm assuming nobody's seen it. Well, nobody here,
• 20:51
  Speaker 8: you guys out there might be super hardcore and have
• 20:53
  Speaker 8: already seen it. It was one of those. I thought
• 20:55
  Speaker 8: I knew of at least if not seen, but at
• 20:57
  Speaker 8: least knew of every movie that Bruce Campbell was in and,
• 21:01
  Speaker 8: This was on the little cable setup, and I'm going by,
• 21:04
  Speaker 8: and I'm scrolling down, and I'm like, Mind Warp?
• 21:06
  Speaker 4: What the hell?
• 21:06
  Speaker 8: And I'm kind of probably mixing it up with Brain
• 21:09
  Speaker 8: Scan and all these other weird movies that came out.
• 21:12
  Speaker 6: Mind, Brain.
• 21:14
  Speaker 9: Yeah.
• 21:14
  Speaker 8: Well, I mean, there's so many of them that are
• 21:15
  Speaker 8: sort of a version of that title. Some change both
• 21:19
  Speaker 8: ends of the word, and you've got a whole new title.
• 21:21
  Speaker 8: So I'm thinking it's one of those maybe, and then
• 21:24
  Speaker 8: I see the cast is Bruce Campbell and And then
• 21:27
  Speaker 8: Angus Scribb, the tall man from Phantasm.
• 21:32
  Speaker 13: Oh, yeah.
• 21:33
  Speaker 8: So he's in it, too. And I was just like,
• 21:34
  Speaker 8: what is this movie? And it's like mid-90s, like early mid-90s.
• 21:40
  Speaker 8: And I'm just like, that's right at the point where
• 21:41
  Speaker 8: he was getting kind of, you know, that was post-Army
• 21:44
  Speaker 8: of Darkness. So it's like he was kind of making
• 21:46
  Speaker 8: a name for himself, at least in the geek circle.
• 21:48
  Speaker 8: So I'm like, that's weird. So I went ahead and
• 21:51
  Speaker 8: I was like, okay, I'll watch it. I was not
• 21:53
  Speaker 8: prepared for how weird it is. It is post-apocalyptic Bruce Campbell. Um,
• 22:00
  Speaker 8: it's also got some sort of weird future society where
• 22:03
  Speaker 8: everything takes place in their mind and they're like hooked
• 22:05
  Speaker 8: into a machine all day. And then there's this other
• 22:08
  Speaker 8: crazy subplot once they get out in the world where
• 22:10
  Speaker 8: there's like this other underground society that store like just
• 22:15
  Speaker 8: basically fucking cannibals and they're trying to, you know, run
• 22:18
  Speaker 8: everything with what's left in the wasteland.
• 22:20
  Speaker 4: So it's, It's a weird movie.
• 22:23
  Speaker 8: It's another one, yeah, I would be up for watching,
• 22:25
  Speaker 8: but I'm not sure if anybody would like it. It's
• 22:27
  Speaker 8: a weird movie. It's entertaining if you like Bruce Campbell,
• 22:31
  Speaker 8: but it's pretty silly.
• 22:33
  Speaker 4: I don't know.
• 22:36
  Speaker 8: Oh, moving on.
• 22:37
  Speaker 4: I also watched Screamers this week.
• 22:40
  Speaker 8: It's another one I sort of just passed over for
• 22:42
  Speaker 8: years there and knew, again, Peter Weller. I knew Peter
• 22:45
  Speaker 8: Weller was in it. That was really all I knew.
• 22:46
  Speaker 8: It was sort of sci-fi horror and I had Peter Weller.
• 22:49
  Speaker 8: That's about as far as I ever went with it.
• 22:51
  Speaker 8: I probably saw the trailer.
• 22:52
  Speaker 4: When it was new.
• 22:53
  Speaker 8: I liked it a lot more than I expected. Have
• 22:56
  Speaker 8: you seen it, either of you?
• 22:57
  Speaker 4: No. It's... I mean, some of.
• 22:59
  Speaker 8: It was.
• 23:02
  Speaker 8: It's still a little dated at this point. You know, effects-wise,
• 23:05
  Speaker 8: you can tell there's some things that are a little cheesy.
• 23:07
  Speaker 8: But I will give them credit for, like, set decoration and, like,
• 23:11
  Speaker 8: set design because it's another one that's sort of... Well,
• 23:14
  Speaker 8: it's on a different planet and sort of post-apocalyptic, so...
• 23:17
  Speaker 8: The set design on it, I mean, they go into
• 23:19
  Speaker 8: some of these cityscapes and they're walking through this wasteland
• 23:22
  Speaker 8: and it all looks good. Like it almost looks like
• 23:24
  Speaker 8: a really well-budgeted movie. And then midway through, I'm looking
• 23:27
  Speaker 8: at some of the other stuff. I'm like, this is
• 23:28
  Speaker 8: like a B movie, really. It's like the biggest name
• 23:31
  Speaker 8: and it's Peter Weller, you know? So it's like, it's
• 23:32
  Speaker 8: not like it's a huge budget movie, but I think
• 23:36
  Speaker 8: it's pretty entertaining for what it is. Once you get
• 23:38
  Speaker 8: into what these screamers are, because I went in with
• 23:41
  Speaker 8: a very different idea of what I thought was going
• 23:42
  Speaker 8: on with that. I think it's almost a more interesting
• 23:45
  Speaker 8: story the way it goes with it, really. I thought
• 23:48
  Speaker 8: it was just going to be sort of an aliens
• 23:49
  Speaker 8: ripoff on an alien planet kind of thing, but it's
• 23:52
  Speaker 8: very different. It gets into a very different, into the
• 23:55
  Speaker 8: future politics and whatnot. Yeah, a whole other subplot. But
• 24:00
  Speaker 8: it's no Avatar, right?
• 24:01
  Speaker 4: I don't know.
• 24:02
  Speaker 8: I've avoided that one. I'm not watching no damn Avatar.
• 24:07
  Speaker 4: Oh, so yeah. Watching the pan and scan just for spite.
• 24:12
  Speaker 8: Non-3D pan and scan just to fuck with James Cameron.
• 24:15
  Speaker 8: Sounds good to me.
• 24:18
  Speaker 4: Let's see.
• 24:18
  Speaker 8: Yesterday they were running Star Trek The Motion Picture.
• 24:21
  Speaker 6: Oh, wow.
• 24:22
  Speaker 4: On regular cable.
• 24:23
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 24:24
  Speaker 8: Which is one I'd seen like years ago. Like when
• 24:26
  Speaker 8: I was a kid, I saw it and I was
• 24:28
  Speaker 8: just like, maybe I'm just because I'm a kid, but
• 24:31
  Speaker 8: I'm bored by this. Because you're a kid. You have
• 24:33
  Speaker 8: a short attention span. You get kind of bored. And
• 24:35
  Speaker 8: over the years I've heard people say it's really slow,
• 24:37
  Speaker 8: but yeah, it's pretty slow. And granted that's early for them.
• 24:41
  Speaker 8: I mean, they're just coming out of like 2001 era.
• 24:43
  Speaker 8: I mean, it's, it's sort of like them going in
• 24:46
  Speaker 8: between 2001 and Star Wars, you know, it's like them
• 24:49
  Speaker 8: trying to counteract both of those because you've got a
• 24:51
  Speaker 8: lot of long drawn out space shots, a lot of
• 24:55
  Speaker 8: the ship going around this corner and around into this
• 24:58
  Speaker 8: thing and into something or other. And I'm just like,
• 25:02
  Speaker 8: You guys have some fancy special effects. I know it
• 25:04
  Speaker 8: was a big deal at the time. So I give
• 25:06
  Speaker 8: them credit that they were showing off what they could do.
• 25:08
  Speaker 8: You know, at that point in time, you kind of
• 25:10
  Speaker 8: need to do that. But looking at it now, I'm like, oh,
• 25:13
  Speaker 8: my God, you could cut a half hour out of
• 25:14
  Speaker 8: this easily. The story is interesting. The only thing I'll
• 25:19
  Speaker 8: say is Leonard Nimoy comes off like a jackass. Like,
• 25:23
  Speaker 8: it's weird. I mean, he found this really fun version
• 25:26
  Speaker 8: of Spock in the TV show. And then by the
• 25:28
  Speaker 8: time you come back to him in like the later movies,
• 25:30
  Speaker 8: because I watched the later movies like a million times.
• 25:32
  Speaker 8: This was like the one for some reason I skipped over.
• 25:35
  Speaker 8: when I kept rewatching all the other ones, but he
• 25:36
  Speaker 8: finds this really fun version of himself where he does
• 25:39
  Speaker 8: make sort of the, the goofy human side of him
• 25:41
  Speaker 8: and the, you know, the straight laced Vulcan version.
• 25:44
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 25:45
  Speaker 8: And this one, he's just a jerk. Like he just comes,
• 25:47
  Speaker 8: like he, he doesn't say anything, not even like Vulcan.
• 25:51
  Speaker 8: Like if you've seen all these other versions of people
• 25:53
  Speaker 8: trying to pull off Vulcan, he just seems like a jackass.
• 25:55
  Speaker 8: And he's like almost trying to screw up the mission.
• 25:58
  Speaker 8: Or at least he seems like they put the spin
• 26:00
  Speaker 8: on it. Like, some sort of sinister plot. Like he's
• 26:03
  Speaker 8: there to, you know, to stab them in the back
• 26:05
  Speaker 8: and do his own thing, which I don't know.
• 26:07
  Speaker 4: Doesn't he do that a lot of the time?
• 26:10
  Speaker 8: And it only then occurred to me, they're kind of
• 26:12
  Speaker 8: ripping off this movie and their other movies. It's like
• 26:14
  Speaker 8: parts of it end up back in four and six.
• 26:18
  Speaker 8: There's like, or no five. There's like the end of five,
• 26:20
  Speaker 8: sort of like this for the basic setup sort of
• 26:24
  Speaker 8: comes around.
• 26:24
  Speaker 4: So I don't know.
• 26:25
  Speaker 8: I mean, they kind of ripped themselves off time and
• 26:27
  Speaker 8: time again and, Which is sad because they only had
• 26:29
  Speaker 8: a run of, you know, it's not like they had
• 26:30
  Speaker 8: 20 or 30 movies. They only had like eight. I
• 26:34
  Speaker 8: don't know. It depends on which ones you count.
• 26:35
  Speaker 4: Which ones, yeah.
• 26:36
  Speaker 8: I don't even count the last one. So six, really,
• 26:38
  Speaker 8: as far as I'm concerned. But yeah, the funniest part,
• 26:43
  Speaker 8: and again, this was me playing Mystery Science Theater at home.
• 26:45
  Speaker 8: They're in a scene towards the end, and they're all
• 26:47
  Speaker 8: wearing their fancy leisure suit outfits that they had in
• 26:51
  Speaker 8: that version. The motion picture had those weird outfits that
• 26:53
  Speaker 8: they never came back to again. So they're all on
• 26:56
  Speaker 8: the deck wearing those outfits, and they're like, all right, well,
• 26:58
  Speaker 8: we've got to go out to meet whoever or whatever.
• 27:01
  Speaker 4: If you've seen the movie, you know what I'm talking about.
• 27:03
  Speaker 8: But then the next scene, it cuts to them, and
• 27:04
  Speaker 8: they're all wearing these fancy outer space coats, I guess.
• 27:09
  Speaker 7: Right.
• 27:10
  Speaker 8: So I'm just picturing the scene before. Okay, kids, put
• 27:12
  Speaker 8: on your space coats. It's going to be chilly out
• 27:14
  Speaker 8: in the Nexus. Maybe that was just me, but I
• 27:18
  Speaker 8: was really fucking amused by that.
• 27:21
  Speaker 4: They had it in their budget that they, you know, well,
• 27:23
  Speaker 4: we got these coats. We got to use them. Everybody
• 27:25
  Speaker 4: put them on.
• 27:25
  Speaker 8: They were like Starfleet issue because they all matched. You know,
• 27:28
  Speaker 8: they were all fancy space coats. And I was just like,
• 27:30
  Speaker 8: put your space coats on, kids.
• 27:32
  Speaker 4: Maybe that's just me. I thought it was funny. It's
• 27:35
  Speaker 4: been so long since I've seen that one that I.
• 27:37
  Speaker 8: Yeah, me too.
• 27:38
  Speaker 4: I'll have to.
• 27:39
  Speaker 8: That was the first time I came back to it.
• 27:40
  Speaker 8: And again, by the end, the wrap-up's an interesting story,
• 27:43
  Speaker 8: but it's slow.
• 27:45
  Speaker 4: I think the only one that I just... always rewatched
• 27:48
  Speaker 4: was the wrath of Khan. I think like anybody else, that's.
• 27:51
  Speaker 8: Yeah, it's the go-to. I mean, it is awesome. Right. I, again,
• 27:55
  Speaker 8: I'm with the, the theory of every other one. I
• 27:58
  Speaker 8: like voyage home.
• 27:59
  Speaker 9: Yes.
• 27:59
  Speaker 4: It's goofy as hell, but it's a.
• 28:01
  Speaker 8: Damn entertaining movie. I didn't like Undiscovered Country, and I'm
• 28:05
  Speaker 8: like the only one. Like, nobody liked that one. That
• 28:07
  Speaker 8: was when everybody gave up on that series. I think
• 28:09
  Speaker 8: that's a really interesting storyline that, you know, you can
• 28:11
  Speaker 8: skip five. Five is kind of a big mess. But, yeah,
• 28:14
  Speaker 8: Undiscovered Country I thought was pretty entertaining as well. So
• 28:18
  Speaker 8: I'll go with every other one theory.
• 28:20
  Speaker 4: I think the Voyage Home I did a book report
• 28:22
  Speaker 4: on in school. There's some interesting stuff going on there.
• 28:26
  Speaker 8: I could see coming up with some interesting time travel theories.
• 28:29
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it was.
• 28:32
  Speaker 4: I actually, I think I got a pretty, I was
• 28:34
  Speaker 4: pretty young, but I think I got a pretty good
• 28:35
  Speaker 4: grade on it. Awesome. You know.
• 28:39
  Speaker 8: The only thing I'll round it out with, they were running,
• 28:42
  Speaker 8: just because it's the holiday, you know, the Fuck Me
• 28:45
  Speaker 8: Santa special. They were running It's a Wonderful Life this week.
• 28:48
  Speaker 8: And I just sort of saw part of it. It
• 28:51
  Speaker 8: was just on TV, and it's still amazing. I know
• 28:55
  Speaker 8: it's one of those that people don't like, or many
• 28:57
  Speaker 8: people get an attitude about because it's an old movie
• 29:00
  Speaker 8: or it's a classic movie or, you know. It's so cheesy. Oh,
• 29:03
  Speaker 8: it's the, it's the cliche Christmas movie, but I'm just
• 29:05
  Speaker 8: kind of like, it was one of those. I didn't
• 29:08
  Speaker 8: watch it for years because of that. I bought into
• 29:09
  Speaker 8: everybody's bullshit. And then finally one year I was like,
• 29:11
  Speaker 8: all right, screw it. I'm going to watch it. And
• 29:12
  Speaker 8: I was like, Holy shit.
• 29:14
  Speaker 4: This is impressive.
• 29:15
  Speaker 6: It's a really deep movie.
• 29:16
  Speaker 4: It is.
• 29:16
  Speaker 8: And it's actually one that I'm probably going to come
• 29:19
  Speaker 8: back to eventually.
• 29:20
  Speaker 4: It's a well, not just a good story. It's a
• 29:23
  Speaker 4: well-made movie. That's the part. It's Capra.
• 29:26
  Speaker 8: I mean, he doesn't skimp on anything. Like, story's amazing.
• 29:29
  Speaker 8: Character development on everybody. There's so many characters. And you
• 29:33
  Speaker 8: feel like they're all real people. It's not just like
• 29:35
  Speaker 8: these penciled in little, you know, caricatures that town feels
• 29:39
  Speaker 8: lived in. Those people feel like real people. So it's,
• 29:43
  Speaker 8: I've got to give him credit just for that, if
• 29:44
  Speaker 8: nothing else. It's just how well the character development is
• 29:48
  Speaker 8: in the town. Building that environment is just amazing. It's
• 29:53
  Speaker 8: one that's still impressive to me, even after all these years.
• 29:56
  Speaker 6: It's funny because it's way... I know it's like this
• 29:59
  Speaker 6: happy Christmas movie, but it's way darker than people really like.
• 30:02
  Speaker 8: It's very dark.
• 30:04
  Speaker 4: Really dark. It's really not even... christmas movie.
• 30:06
  Speaker 8: It just got attached because you know it sort of
• 30:09
  Speaker 8: wraps up around christmas but yeah i mean the whole
• 30:12
  Speaker 8: thing is over years and that's the thing as you
• 30:14
  Speaker 8: look at it it's a pretty realistic version of somebody's.
• 30:17
  Speaker 6: Life i know it's basically about wishing you were dead
• 30:20
  Speaker 6: or like well.
• 30:21
  Speaker 8: It's about wishing you know what you wanted to do
• 30:23
  Speaker 8: with your life as a kid and what really happens
• 30:26
  Speaker 8: to you yeah if you know it's it's a very
• 30:27
  Speaker 8: different thing than what they you would expect on a
• 30:31
  Speaker 8: cheesy holiday.
• 30:32
  Speaker 6: Movie yeah well the part that always stuck with me
• 30:34
  Speaker 6: is the part where it You know, they're going through
• 30:36
  Speaker 6: what would happen if he didn't exist. And that's really dark.
• 30:40
  Speaker 12: Yeah.
• 30:40
  Speaker 6: And I guess the reason, it's similar to Christmas Carol
• 30:44
  Speaker 6: in a way.
• 30:44
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 30:45
  Speaker 6: I think that's why it also gets tied in with.
• 30:49
  Speaker 4: I always associated it younger, maybe the first few times,
• 30:53
  Speaker 4: because it was always on, well, like anybody, it was
• 30:55
  Speaker 4: always on as a kid around Christmas. I always associated
• 30:58
  Speaker 4: it with almost like an Edgar Allan Poe story.
• 31:02
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 31:02
  Speaker 4: It really has that feel. It has that... ambiance just
• 31:06
  Speaker 4: um if you could just ratchet up a few more
• 31:09
  Speaker 4: things yeah and make it a little bit more intense
• 31:12
  Speaker 4: and a little darker it really would feel like a
• 31:14
  Speaker 4: poem i mean not as good not.
• 31:15
  Speaker 6: As good not as macabre like writing but.
• 31:18
  Speaker 8: Yeah almost more of like a twilight zone like it
• 31:20
  Speaker 8: feels very otherworldly i mean there is that whole angle
• 31:23
  Speaker 8: that yeah i mean and it's around that same time
• 31:25
  Speaker 8: period it's in you know black and white it feels
• 31:27
  Speaker 8: old so you do kind of get that vibe off
• 31:29
  Speaker 8: of it like it's you know you're watching an old
• 31:31
  Speaker 8: twilight zone or something so it yeah I can see that.
• 31:34
  Speaker 8: And once again, there's no, no downside to that. Cause
• 31:37
  Speaker 8: there's another amazingly written TV series. So, but yeah, that
• 31:41
  Speaker 8: was pretty much it for me.
• 31:43
  Speaker 4: So, okay. So am I, am I up next? Next up. Okay.
• 31:47
  Speaker 4: I've seen a lot, but I'm not going to go
• 31:50
  Speaker 4: into everything. I'm going to cut touch on some highlights.
• 31:52
  Speaker 3: I did.
• 31:53
  Speaker 4: Cause last time we, I think it was last time
• 31:55
  Speaker 4: I was here. We talked about Harry Potter. I did
• 31:57
  Speaker 4: go see the new episode, the new episode, Deathly Hallows.
• 32:00
  Speaker 13: Yeah.
• 32:01
  Speaker 4: Um, it, like we had talked about, is they take
• 32:05
  Speaker 4: a lot of time. There were scenes that I thought,
• 32:07
  Speaker 4: I can't believe they're going into the scene. They really
• 32:10
  Speaker 4: don't need to tell a story, but I appreciated that
• 32:14
  Speaker 4: it was there. It takes time and development, and I've
• 32:17
  Speaker 4: not really read anything since I saw it. I just
• 32:20
  Speaker 4: went out and saw it and tried to stay away
• 32:22
  Speaker 4: from the fan stuff about it. There is one thing
• 32:26
  Speaker 4: that I will recommend to anybody that Maybe hasn't or
• 32:33
  Speaker 4: wouldn't see. I figure if you've seen them at this point,
• 32:35
  Speaker 4: you're going to see it anyway. But the animation, they
• 32:38
  Speaker 4: do an animation sequence to tell the story of the
• 32:40
  Speaker 4: Deathly Hallows. Not that it matters what they are, but
• 32:44
  Speaker 4: it's a story about some brothers that receive some items.
• 32:47
  Speaker 4: And those are the Deathly Hallows. And it's done as
• 32:51
  Speaker 4: about a seven minute or so animation sequence that just
• 32:55
  Speaker 4: has this Well, it's about death. It's about death trying
• 33:00
  Speaker 4: to cheat these three men. It's just a short story,
• 33:05
  Speaker 4: a short film. If you just submitted that, it would
• 33:09
  Speaker 4: blow everything away. It's one of the best things that
• 33:11
  Speaker 4: I've seen in a long time. It's worth the price
• 33:13
  Speaker 4: of admission, and I paid matinee prices, but I paid,
• 33:16
  Speaker 4: and I walked out of there thinking, good movie, and
• 33:19
  Speaker 4: there's a great short film right in the middle of it.
• 33:22
  Speaker 4: It's fantastic. Awesome. So whether you're even interested in Harry
• 33:27
  Speaker 4: Potter or not, when it comes out, rent it and
• 33:31
  Speaker 4: just skip to that scene. I'm sure they're going to
• 33:33
  Speaker 4: have a... A chapter stop. Yeah, it's that good. It
• 33:36
  Speaker 4: really is. We'll stick on an animation theme for now.
• 33:40
  Speaker 4: I saw two movies. Adam Elliot, Claymation. He's Australian. The
• 33:47
  Speaker 4: one is, it's a short, well, about 20 minutes or so.
• 33:52
  Speaker 4: Harvey Crumpet. It's about a man that grows up in,
• 34:00
  Speaker 4: I guess he was Polish and gets sent to Australia,
• 34:02
  Speaker 4: but it's just a story about his family. His mother's crazy.
• 34:08
  Speaker 4: His father, I think, was a lumberjack. And everything wrong
• 34:12
  Speaker 4: happens in this man's life. He's just, I think they say,
• 34:15
  Speaker 4: you know, oh, I forget the line at the beginning,
• 34:19
  Speaker 4: but they introduce that, you know, these are those other
• 34:22
  Speaker 4: people that everything just basically goes wrong. And it's, I
• 34:25
  Speaker 4: sympathize with it.
• 34:27
  Speaker 9: It is.
• 34:28
  Speaker 8: It's one of those things where.
• 34:29
  Speaker 4: You could feel every, if it can go wrong, it
• 34:32
  Speaker 4: will go wrong. And a person that just has, um,
• 34:36
  Speaker 4: every card stacked against them. And it's not a feel
• 34:39
  Speaker 4: good story. There's nothing about it. That's a feel good story,
• 34:41
  Speaker 4: but there's a lot of humor. There's a lot of emotion.
• 34:44
  Speaker 4: You feel a lot of sympathy and empathy for this
• 34:47
  Speaker 4: character as you go along. Um, It's amazing to me
• 34:51
  Speaker 4: how sometimes the animation you can almost feel a human
• 34:54
  Speaker 4: connection to more than you can a character. That's how
• 34:57
  Speaker 4: good a writing this is. And again, it's a short,
• 35:02
  Speaker 4: it's a definite watch, I think, for anybody. I'm already
• 35:06
  Speaker 4: forcing it on my wife. And the other is he
• 35:08
  Speaker 4: has a full-length movie called Max and Mary. And this
• 35:13
  Speaker 4: was one of the best movies I've seen in a
• 35:17
  Speaker 4: long time.
• 35:18
  Speaker 8: Are these on DVD or online?
• 35:20
  Speaker 4: I saw these on Netflix. So if you have that,
• 35:21
  Speaker 4: you can watch it for free right now. But you
• 35:23
  Speaker 4: can get them on DVD. I'm going to go out
• 35:26
  Speaker 4: and purchase them. They're that good. Awesome. Max and Mary.
• 35:31
  Speaker 4: I'm going to go over it just a little bit,
• 35:32
  Speaker 4: but I think this could be great for the show.
• 35:35
  Speaker 4: I think everybody here would love it. She is... a
• 35:39
  Speaker 4: girl in Australia, um, overweight, her mother's an alcoholic, her dad, um,
• 35:47
  Speaker 4: dabbles in taxidermy and you think he's maybe doing unkind
• 35:51
  Speaker 4: things to these animals. He likes these cheery stories. Oh yeah.
• 35:56
  Speaker 4: And I like this guy already. The, the, uh, uh,
• 35:59
  Speaker 4: Max is, um, uh, obese, very obese, uh, gentleman in
• 36:07
  Speaker 4: the United States with ass murders and can't fit in
• 36:12
  Speaker 4: society at all. Just does not fit in society. Tells
• 36:17
  Speaker 4: the truth about everything. Gets upset about people telling the truth. Well,
• 36:20
  Speaker 4: they happen to end up being pen pals. It's basically
• 36:25
  Speaker 4: just the series of them two sending their letters back
• 36:29
  Speaker 4: and forth to each other over years. It's... you know
• 36:34
  Speaker 4: it's going there eventually. You have the feeling that it's
• 36:36
  Speaker 4: going there. It's the first time that I've cried watching
• 36:40
  Speaker 4: a movie in years. This isn't just a few tears.
• 36:42
  Speaker 4: It deeply affected me. It's one of those go out,
• 36:51
  Speaker 4: rent it, Netflix, watch it. It's that good. And just
• 36:54
  Speaker 4: the animation. If you love animation, see it. But it's
• 36:57
  Speaker 4: a lot of humor. It's dark humor. Don't show it
• 37:00
  Speaker 4: to your kids.
• 37:02
  Speaker 8: It's good to get that in.
• 37:03
  Speaker 4: Not because of the– because it looks like it could
• 37:06
  Speaker 4: be a kiddie movie. It's definitely for adults. Not that
• 37:09
  Speaker 4: it shows anything. It does show a few things. But
• 37:14
  Speaker 4: just the feeling of it would be a downer for children.
• 37:18
  Speaker 4: But it's– yeah, it's a wonderful movie. I highly recommend it.
• 37:23
  Speaker 4: I'm not going to go into anything else because I've
• 37:25
  Speaker 4: got– I always say this. I rewatched Punch Drunk Love
• 37:30
  Speaker 4: not too long ago one day and I sat down
• 37:32
  Speaker 4: and I just watched it for the camera work alone. Yeah.
• 37:36
  Speaker 4: And my God, if every person that ever picked up
• 37:39
  Speaker 4: a camera or directed a film tried to do, you know,
• 37:44
  Speaker 4: one twentieth of what they do in that movie, we'd
• 37:46
  Speaker 4: have a much better movies out there. So anybody out
• 37:48
  Speaker 4: there that's a filmmaker, um, Especially that likes to pick
• 37:53
  Speaker 4: up a camera, watch Anderson's films because, my God, he's fantastic.
• 38:00
  Speaker 4: I'll move on to Marlene, I suppose. All right.
• 38:05
  Speaker 6: Well, I have very opposite spectrums, I guess, concerning movies
• 38:11
  Speaker 6: that I've watched. Let's see, the first one I'll go into,
• 38:14
  Speaker 6: Holy Mountain.
• 38:16
  Speaker 8: Yeah, I know of that.
• 38:18
  Speaker 6: Right. It was amazing. It was very long. It was
• 38:22
  Speaker 6: visually amazing.
• 38:23
  Speaker 4: Freaking weird.
• 38:25
  Speaker 6: It made not a lick of sense.
• 38:27
  Speaker 12: Yeah.
• 38:27
  Speaker 6: I really, like, maybe I should have done a bunch
• 38:30
  Speaker 6: of acid or something before I watched it.
• 38:32
  Speaker 8: I think that would just make your head explode.
• 38:33
  Speaker 12: I know.
• 38:34
  Speaker 6: Probably. Probably. But, I mean, it was.
• 38:38
  Speaker 6: It was just amazing. I mean, all the work and
• 38:40
  Speaker 6: the money and the effort that went into it for
• 38:43
  Speaker 6: a storyline that doesn't make a whole lot of sense.
• 38:46
  Speaker 6: I mean, it does. It's real hard to follow. It's, like,
• 38:48
  Speaker 6: real heady and, like, over. I mean, I'm not, like,
• 38:54
  Speaker 6: a Harvard scholar by any means, but, you know, I
• 38:59
  Speaker 6: think it's one of those movies you have to be
• 39:01
  Speaker 6: a special kind of person to really be able to
• 39:03
  Speaker 6: fully wrap your mind around that. I don't know. But,
• 39:06
  Speaker 6: I mean, visually it was stunning. It was just.
• 39:08
  Speaker 8: I'm not sure how much anybody really makes sense of it.
• 39:11
  Speaker 8: Everybody I know is just like, oh, it's awesome to
• 39:13
  Speaker 8: look at. Just watch it.
• 39:14
  Speaker 6: You can follow it to a certain point and then
• 39:17
  Speaker 6: you're just like... And, like, at one point they start
• 39:21
  Speaker 6: introducing all these new characters and, you know, we were
• 39:23
  Speaker 6: trying to deduce what the characters meant or what they...
• 39:26
  Speaker 6: It's very... It's it's all about symbolism. The movie.
• 39:29
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 39:29
  Speaker 6: It was, it was amazing visually. Um, I also watched
• 39:32
  Speaker 6: this movie called The Doom Generation because it had James Duvall,
• 39:35
  Speaker 6: who I love, Rose McGowan.
• 39:37
  Speaker 8: I've heard bad things.
• 39:38
  Speaker 6: It was terrible. It was the worst movie ever.
• 39:42
  Speaker 8: Sadly, I think that's what I heard from the only
• 39:44
  Speaker 8: other person who ever gave me a wrap-up. Yeah, I
• 39:46
  Speaker 8: hated it.
• 39:47
  Speaker 6: I wanted to like it because the characters seemed kind
• 39:49
  Speaker 6: of cool. No, no.
• 39:52
  Speaker 8: Did it feel like it was trying really hard to
• 39:53
  Speaker 8: be Pulp Fiction-y? Almost. It came out in that wave
• 39:56
  Speaker 8: of movies in the next couple of years.
• 39:58
  Speaker 9: Yeah.
• 39:59
  Speaker 6: I remember when I was younger, before Netflix existed, when
• 40:04
  Speaker 6: I first got really into movies, I would rent these
• 40:06
  Speaker 6: weird movies from Hollywood Video. We lived next to a
• 40:10
  Speaker 6: Hollywood Video. I don't even remember the name of them,
• 40:14
  Speaker 6: but they were just weird Generation X 90s movies. They
• 40:20
  Speaker 6: didn't have a whole lot of sense or purpose. They
• 40:22
  Speaker 6: were just like... Let's be out there, you know?
• 40:25
  Speaker 4: Let's be cool.
• 40:25
  Speaker 6: You know, like, they kind of, like, there's no plot
• 40:28
  Speaker 6: or storyline to speak of. It's just, like, the theme is, like, sex, drugs,
• 40:32
  Speaker 6: and rock and roll. Like, you're really tired.
• 40:33
  Speaker 8: It was, like, two different roads from that point. You
• 40:36
  Speaker 8: had the crime version, which was wannabe Pulp Fiction, or
• 40:39
  Speaker 8: you had the getting laid version, which was wannabe swingers.
• 40:41
  Speaker 12: Yeah.
• 40:41
  Speaker 8: So there were, like, an overrun, the movie theaters, well,
• 40:45
  Speaker 8: more the video stores, because half of it didn't see, yeah, theaters.
• 40:48
  Speaker 10: But.
• 40:49
  Speaker 6: I remember watching a whole bunch of movies that felt
• 40:51
  Speaker 6: really similar to that. You know, like, and this wasn't
• 40:55
  Speaker 6: in the 90s. This was, like, early 2000s or something.
• 40:59
  Speaker 6: I was just a teenager then. But, like.
• 41:03
  Speaker 6: They all feel real similar and they're all kind of
• 41:05
  Speaker 6: stupid and just weird. And it's like weird for weird sake,
• 41:08
  Speaker 6: you know?
• 41:09
  Speaker 8: And like, which is, again, it's like the stupid hats.
• 41:13
  Speaker 4: That's what I was going to say.
• 41:15
  Speaker 8: You're just trying too hard to be weird.
• 41:16
  Speaker 4: Just settle down.
• 41:17
  Speaker 6: That's what it was. And I mean, it had, it
• 41:19
  Speaker 6: had its funny moments or it's good aspects and stuff
• 41:21
  Speaker 6: like that. But you know, it's like at one point
• 41:23
  Speaker 6: you think like, Oh, there's a plot and this is
• 41:26
  Speaker 6: going to go somewhere. But then the movie just ends
• 41:28
  Speaker 6: and you're like, what the fuck? For real? For real?
• 41:31
  Speaker 6: Are you kidding me? But, yeah, it was just one
• 41:34
  Speaker 6: of those. It wasn't too great. I also watched Confessions
• 41:40
  Speaker 6: of a Shopaholic.
• 41:41
  Speaker 4: Oh, God.
• 41:43
  Speaker 8: It's weird, she's like in a real movie now. What's
• 41:46
  Speaker 8: the new thing she's in? Because that's Amy Adams, isn't it?
• 41:49
  Speaker 6: No, no, it's Isla Fisher.
• 41:50
  Speaker 8: See, I can't keep track of them.
• 41:52
  Speaker 4: They're too interchangeable.
• 41:53
  Speaker 6: They both have red hair. One is married to Sacha
• 41:56
  Speaker 6: Baron Cohen and one is not.
• 41:58
  Speaker 4: What a bad idea.
• 41:59
  Speaker 6: Isla Fisher is the one that is.
• 42:01
  Speaker 8: I can't keep track of those two. And I think
• 42:03
  Speaker 8: there's another actress that's way too close to them that
• 42:05
  Speaker 8: I keep rotating in.
• 42:06
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I used to get them confused too, but after
• 42:08
  Speaker 6: seeing that, I kind of can tell them apart now.
• 42:12
  Speaker 6: They're both gingers.
• 42:14
  Speaker 8: No, it's the fighter thing I've seen. Amy Adams is
• 42:17
  Speaker 8: in the fighter. And it's, like, a really dramatic role.
• 42:20
  Speaker 8: And I've never seen her do anything but.
• 42:21
  Speaker 4: Like, silly, goofy comedy.
• 42:24
  Speaker 8: Well, I'm thinking more of, like, what was the Enchanted
• 42:27
  Speaker 8: win or whatever the one where she was, like, the
• 42:28
  Speaker 8: fairytale girl.
• 42:29
  Speaker 6: Oh, yeah, but that, like, was Oscar-nominated, wasn't it, though?
• 42:33
  Speaker 4: I think it got something.
• 42:34
  Speaker 6: Something.
• 42:34
  Speaker 8: I think it got, like, song or something.
• 42:36
  Speaker 4: There's only so many big musicals. They're going to throw
• 42:40
  Speaker 4: costumes in there.
• 42:41
  Speaker 8: I always think of her in those kind of roles.
• 42:43
  Speaker 8: Seeing her in this gritty drama off in a gym somewhere,
• 42:48
  Speaker 8: it just seems weird.
• 42:52
  Speaker 6: It got a star and a half on Netflix, but
• 42:55
  Speaker 6: I enjoyed it, mainly because I'm a shopaholic.
• 42:59
  Speaker 4: I was like, oh.
• 43:00
  Speaker 6: Man, I totally relate to this girl.
• 43:02
  Speaker 8: As your mall story earlier just proved.
• 43:05
  Speaker 6: Yesterday, when I got a text message from a friend,
• 43:08
  Speaker 6: they're like, what's up, shopaholic? I'm like, shut up, I
• 43:11
  Speaker 6: only bought a pair of tennis shoes and a hat.
• 43:15
  Speaker 6: And then later I was like, I just bought eight sweaters.
• 43:19
  Speaker 6: And then today I bought the exact same pair of
• 43:20
  Speaker 6: tennis shoes for a spare. They were on clearance.
• 43:25
  Speaker 4: I think I get physically ill walking into a mall.
• 43:29
  Speaker 8: I just have flashbacks.
• 43:30
  Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly. I'm like, I'm going to work now.
• 43:32
  Speaker 9: Really?
• 43:33
  Speaker 8: I remember those days. I don't miss them, really. I'm
• 43:38
  Speaker 8: kind of glad they're gone.
• 43:39
  Speaker 4: I watched Mallrats the other day. It's been 15 years
• 43:44
  Speaker 4: or so since I've seen it. It's so dated. It's
• 43:48
  Speaker 4: such a dated movie.
• 43:49
  Speaker 9: Yeah, I know.
• 43:50
  Speaker 4: But Jason Lee, callback to earlier in the show, that
• 43:55
  Speaker 4: would be a horrible movie if not for him. Yeah.
• 43:57
  Speaker 8: I mean, The London Boy is annoying as fuck.
• 44:00
  Speaker 6: Oh, God.
• 44:00
  Speaker 4: I've never seen it.
• 44:01
  Speaker 8: Jason Lee carries that movie on his back from the
• 44:04
  Speaker 8: first frame. I'm just like, everything about that movie that's
• 44:07
  Speaker 8: awesome is Jason Lee. And Ben Affleck being a douchebag.
• 44:10
  Speaker 8: Because that was the Days of Confused era where he
• 44:12
  Speaker 8: was so good at being a douchebag.
• 44:14
  Speaker 12: Right.
• 44:14
  Speaker 8: Now he's just... Well, actually, people kind of like him
• 44:17
  Speaker 8: again because he's directing, so... He's come back around, but
• 44:20
  Speaker 8: for about 10 years after that, people just hated him
• 44:22
  Speaker 8: as a douchebag in.
• 44:22
  Speaker 4: The real world. Right.
• 44:24
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 44:25
  Speaker 4: Yeah, no, he.
• 44:27
  Speaker 4: Yeah, definitely Jason Lee. And Shannon Doherty actually... If you
• 44:32
  Speaker 4: forget that she's Shannon Doherty and you just watched the movie,
• 44:35
  Speaker 4: she's actually one of the better actors in the movie
• 44:37
  Speaker 4: as well. She's like, you know, the next step down
• 44:41
  Speaker 4: and then.
• 44:41
  Speaker 8: I mean, she's pretty well practiced. I mean, she started
• 44:44
  Speaker 8: when she was a little kid. So it's like she
• 44:45
  Speaker 8: should have that part of it down. But it's so
• 44:48
  Speaker 8: funny that you can't separate her, even to the point
• 44:50
  Speaker 8: where they worked the joke into that, which is one
• 44:52
  Speaker 8: of the best moments of the damn movie.
• 44:54
  Speaker 11: But.
• 44:55
  Speaker 8: yeah i it's got so many flaws really it's i
• 44:59
  Speaker 8: love parts of it and there's other parts i'm like
• 45:01
  Speaker 8: oh damn what the hell's going on here yeah so
• 45:04
  Speaker 8: i i still like most of what he does but
• 45:06
  Speaker 8: that one's definitely kind of got a globe.
• 45:09
  Speaker 4: Right right the the definitely my favorite part of the
• 45:15
  Speaker 4: movie is when um Is it Ethan Supley?
• 45:18
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 45:19
  Speaker 4: He looks at the little kid that says, oh, look,
• 45:21
  Speaker 4: it's a schooner. And he goes, you dumb bastard. It's
• 45:25
  Speaker 4: not a schooner. It's a sailboat. That line needs to
• 45:29
  Speaker 4: just be repeated in public as many times as possible.
• 45:33
  Speaker 8: That's also why I refer to as many people as
• 45:35
  Speaker 8: possible as a stupid head. That's the best kid name
• 45:39
  Speaker 8: calling ever.
• 45:41
  Speaker 4: Stupid head. I'm just like, oh, that's awesome.
• 45:44
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 45:44
  Speaker 8: And what's funny, I just heard Ethan on a show recently.
• 45:47
  Speaker 8: He said he could totally see that schooner.
• 45:51
  Speaker 4: He was just like, oh, yeah.
• 45:52
  Speaker 8: It was a sailboat.
• 45:53
  Speaker 4: I could see it. She's like, son of a bitch.
• 45:55
  Speaker 4: That's acting.
• 45:56
  Speaker 9: Right.
• 45:57
  Speaker 6: Did you know I heard that Jason Lee is a Scientologist?
• 46:00
  Speaker 8: I think you brought that up in past episodes. I
• 46:03
  Speaker 8: think that was the first I heard of it.
• 46:04
  Speaker 6: No, I just heard that the other day.
• 46:05
  Speaker 8: It doesn't surprise me, though.
• 46:06
  Speaker 6: It does surprise me. That's horrible. Why would anyone do
• 46:09
  Speaker 6: that to themselves?
• 46:10
  Speaker 8: Because you're in Hollywood.
• 46:11
  Speaker 6: I guess.
• 46:11
  Speaker 8: That's what happens. You get inducted.
• 46:14
  Speaker 4: Too bad his characters have more logic than he does.
• 46:17
  Speaker 8: Yeah, quite possible.
• 46:19
  Speaker 4: Especially someone that deals in karma. As for seven years
• 46:23
  Speaker 4: as a TV show, then you're going to be a Scientologist?
• 46:26
  Speaker 6: I should have just been a Buddhist.
• 46:27
  Speaker 12: Right.
• 46:28
  Speaker 8: You can't go wrong with Buddha.
• 46:29
  Speaker 6: Okay.
• 46:30
  Speaker 4: Sorry to interrupt. It's okay. I got off during yours.
• 46:34
  Speaker 6: It's normally me. It's all right.
• 46:36
  Speaker 8: It's the holidays.
• 46:37
  Speaker 4: It's okay.
• 46:38
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 46:38
  Speaker 6: Back to Confessions of a Shopaholic. I just think if
• 46:42
  Speaker 6: the world is really fair, I have a shopping problem.
• 46:46
  Speaker 6: Where's my good fucking job and handsome British gentleman?
• 46:49
  Speaker 13: Really?
• 46:51
  Speaker 8: Oh, yeah.
• 46:52
  Speaker 12: Yeah.
• 46:53
  Speaker 8: I have one of those questions later in the show.
• 46:55
  Speaker 8: We'll get to that later.
• 46:56
  Speaker 6: Nice. I demand it. I mean, I want it.
• 46:59
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 47:00
  Speaker 6: Give it now.
• 47:01
  Speaker 8: Put the word out, I guess. If anybody knows the
• 47:03
  Speaker 8: awesome shop for a living job, they also come attached
• 47:06
  Speaker 8: to a handsome British gentleman.
• 47:08
  Speaker 6: Well, she was a journalist. So, yes.
• 47:11
  Speaker 8: Let her know.
• 47:12
  Speaker 6: Handsome British gentleman.
• 47:13
  Speaker 8: Get a hold of us, and we'll forward it on
• 47:15
  Speaker 8: over to Marlena.
• 47:16
  Speaker 6: I'll get you my number. Although, I must say, this
• 47:18
  Speaker 6: week I did get a text that said, That said,
• 47:21
  Speaker 6: come to the back door. I'm hanging out with Heath Ledger.
• 47:23
  Speaker 6: And I'm like, pretty sure Heath Ledger's dead.
• 47:25
  Speaker 4: Fake Heath Ledger.
• 47:26
  Speaker 8: We know that guy.
• 47:28
  Speaker 4: Fake Heath Ledger.
• 47:29
  Speaker 6: Fake Heath Ledger. I'm going to call him that to
• 47:31
  Speaker 6: his face. Hello, fake Heath Ledger.
• 47:33
  Speaker 4: Not even the cool Heath Ledger. The one from 10
• 47:36
  Speaker 4: Things I Hate About Heath Ledger.
• 47:37
  Speaker 8: Yeah, the one where everybody was like, who's this guy?
• 47:40
  Speaker 8: Get a haircut, dude.
• 47:43
  Speaker 6: No, he's actually a nice guy. But I'm going to
• 47:46
  Speaker 6: pretend like I don't like him and call him. fake
• 47:49
  Speaker 6: Heath Ledger to his face.
• 47:50
  Speaker 8: Can we get him as a guest spot on the show? Probably.
• 47:53
  Speaker 6: He actually knows quite a bit about movies.
• 47:56
  Speaker 4: If we could have him.
• 47:56
  Speaker 8: Sit in with the wannabe Corey Feldman, we could get
• 47:59
  Speaker 8: the two of them together and the universe would implode
• 48:02
  Speaker 8: or something.
• 48:04
  Speaker 4: Only if he comes in the Michael Jackson era.
• 48:07
  Speaker 8: Well, you know he will.
• 48:08
  Speaker 4: He loves that one.
• 48:10
  Speaker 6: Hello, we're hanging out with two dead celebrities.
• 48:13
  Speaker 10: Wait, Corey Feldman's dead?
• 48:17
  Speaker 4: Sure breaking news.
• 48:20
  Speaker 12: I thought it was yeah this just in Corey Feldman
• 48:24
  Speaker 12: career is dead shut up don't tell me I'm so
• 48:28
  Speaker 12: glad Misty doesn't watch this show because I just confused
• 48:30
  Speaker 12: Corey Feldman with Corey Haim.
• 48:31
  Speaker 4: Well I know that Misty doesn't watch.
• 48:33
  Speaker 6: This show I'm tired this is the latest we've ever
• 48:38
  Speaker 6: done this show damn it that's true oh lord listen
• 48:43
  Speaker 6: listen to this show listen to this show don't you judge.
• 48:46
  Speaker 4: Me She sits at her computer and watches the stream.
• 48:50
  Speaker 8: You can do that.
• 48:52
  Speaker 4: It is online.
• 48:53
  Speaker 8: You can do that.
• 48:53
  Speaker 4: No, I'm not going to browse the internet. I'm going
• 48:55
  Speaker 4: to watch this stream, damn it. It does move. There's
• 48:59
  Speaker 4: a picture of that episode on there.
• 49:01
  Speaker 6: Stop making fun of me.
• 49:03
  Speaker 12: Oh, no.
• 49:03
  Speaker 4: Why else do I cut?
• 49:05
  Speaker 6: But, yeah, anyway.
• 49:10
  Speaker 4: What else?
• 49:11
  Speaker 8: What else?
• 49:11
  Speaker 6: What else? Oh, I watch Grandma's Boy.
• 49:14
  Speaker 8: That's your own fault.
• 49:15
  Speaker 6: I love that movie.
• 49:16
  Speaker 4: Oh, God.
• 49:16
  Speaker 6: I hate your face. Love that movie. Don't care. Don't
• 49:20
  Speaker 6: care what anyone says.
• 49:21
  Speaker 8: That movie's a stupid hit.
• 49:23
  Speaker 6: That movie is brilliant. JP is just awesome. I mean,
• 49:31
  Speaker 6: he's the reason I watch the movie. Come on. Also,
• 49:34
  Speaker 6: the grannies. The grannies are pretty cool. But I watch
• 49:37
  Speaker 6: the first season of Eastbound and Down.
• 49:39
  Speaker 8: I've heard really good things on that.
• 49:40
  Speaker 6: Which is hilarious. Have you ever seen it?
• 49:42
  Speaker 4: No, I've heard good things, and I know it's Danny McBride, right?
• 49:45
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 49:46
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's got to be fantastic.
• 49:48
  Speaker 6: Oh, it's awesome. It's so funny. Best quotes ever from
• 49:51
  Speaker 6: that movie. Like, I know you're not a natural beauty,
• 49:55
  Speaker 6: but with the right look and the right clothes, you
• 49:56
  Speaker 6: could be quite striking.
• 49:59
  Speaker 4: Have you seen The Foot Fist Way?
• 50:00
  Speaker 9: Uh-uh.
• 50:04
  Speaker 8: That was before that, wasn't it?
• 50:06
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah. It's before he did much of anything. It's
• 50:09
  Speaker 4: one of the funniest movies. It's just him. He's a
• 50:13
  Speaker 4: taekwondo instructor, just a jackass of a taekwondo. And it is...
• 50:21
  Speaker 4: Which is funny because they go to a taekwondo convention,
• 50:26
  Speaker 4: and it's just a lot like any other convention. You've
• 50:29
  Speaker 4: got all the geeks there, and it's... Probably one of
• 50:33
  Speaker 4: the most quotable movies I've ever seen. He's just spectacular
• 50:37
  Speaker 4: at that.
• 50:39
  Speaker 6: Yesterday uh as my friend and i were waiting to
• 50:43
  Speaker 6: go pick up her mom and go to bingo we
• 50:44
  Speaker 6: were wondering what do you do when you're waiting to
• 50:47
  Speaker 6: go to bingo.
• 50:48
  Speaker 4: What would you do um crochet.
• 50:50
  Speaker 6: No go to a flea market that is yeah that's
• 50:54
  Speaker 6: what we did we.
• 50:54
  Speaker 4: Went to walmart yeah.
• 50:57
  Speaker 6: We went to a flea market and there was this
• 50:59
  Speaker 6: guy at there's a picture on my facebook any listeners
• 51:01
  Speaker 6: out there who are my friend on facebook um We
• 51:05
  Speaker 6: followed him for, like, 20 minutes because I was like, oh,
• 51:07
  Speaker 6: my God, it's Kenny motherfucking Powers. And I was, like,
• 51:10
  Speaker 6: snapping photos and sending them to everyone I know. That's, like,
• 51:13
  Speaker 6: an Eastbound and Down fan.
• 51:14
  Speaker 4: I'm like, oh, look at this guy. Look at this guy.
• 51:16
  Speaker 6: He had, like, a curly, like, mullet and a baseball hat. And,
• 51:20
  Speaker 6: I mean, it was Kenny motherfucking Powers. I mean, I
• 51:23
  Speaker 6: was so excited. We were, like, jumping and laughing. And
• 51:26
  Speaker 6: when he talked, he sounded just like him. And, like,
• 51:29
  Speaker 6: I just wanted to, like... quote kenny powers i mean
• 51:34
  Speaker 6: i bet he probably would have i mean but they.
• 51:37
  Speaker 8: Once again he probably loves that show and doesn't get
• 51:39
  Speaker 8: the irony right yeah i won't be just like that guy.
• 51:45
  Speaker 6: We wanted to be like oh my god is your
• 51:47
  Speaker 6: name kenny but we were afraid that maybe he'd watched
• 51:50
  Speaker 6: it but i kind of think like he probably hadn't
• 51:52
  Speaker 6: though that's the thing he probably had not watched.
• 51:54
  Speaker 8: It probably be a little more you know full of
• 51:56
  Speaker 8: himself be like are you mistaking me with kenny chesney
• 51:59
  Speaker 8: I get.
• 51:59
  Speaker 4: That a lot.
• 52:01
  Speaker 6: That a lot.
• 52:01
  Speaker 4: Jackass.
• 52:04
  Speaker 6: Yeah, that was amazing. That was one of the highlights
• 52:06
  Speaker 6: of yesterday. And, oh, I've also started watching this British
• 52:12
  Speaker 6: show called The Inbetweeners. It's really funny.
• 52:16
  Speaker 8: Is it recent?
• 52:18
  Speaker 6: I think it just ended. They did, like, a few seasons,
• 52:21
  Speaker 6: and it just ended, like, last year. But they're supposed
• 52:23
  Speaker 6: to be doing a movie about it or something like that.
• 52:25
  Speaker 4: Interesting.
• 52:26
  Speaker 6: Yeah, but it's just about... this kid who he's like
• 52:31
  Speaker 6: awkward and has a hard time making friends and he
• 52:33
  Speaker 6: kind of always puts his foot in his mouth he's
• 52:34
  Speaker 6: like this pretentious little shit and uh sounds like my
• 52:39
  Speaker 6: kind of guy yeah and he has a hot mom
• 52:41
  Speaker 6: that's one of the jokes everyone's like hi your mom
• 52:44
  Speaker 6: is quite fit but um uh yeah it's really funny
• 52:52
  Speaker 6: that's About it.
• 52:53
  Speaker 8: That rounds it up.
• 52:55
  Speaker 6: I've got plenty of other stories, but I guess if
• 52:58
  Speaker 6: I'm going to have a Marlena moment.
• 53:00
  Speaker 8: You're saving up.
• 53:01
  Speaker 4: We need to have just a section that's called the
• 53:03
  Speaker 4: Marlena moment. Its own separate chapter in the middle of these.
• 53:06
  Speaker 8: It's just like 45 minutes of you rambling crazy talk.
• 53:09
  Speaker 6: Oh, you have no idea. I've got some of the
• 53:12
  Speaker 6: best ever, ever, best Marlena moments ever. Can't wait to
• 53:17
  Speaker 6: share these with you.
• 53:18
  Speaker 4: All right.
• 53:20
  Speaker 8: Not in the middle of the movie, though. All right,
• 53:24
  Speaker 8: we'll take a break. And with that, I did want
• 53:27
  Speaker 8: to pass along that maybe this is just me being
• 53:30
  Speaker 8: roped in by the corporate America or. Maybe they're just
• 53:33
  Speaker 8: getting better. But I've noticed this year my favorite holiday
• 53:36
  Speaker 8: music comes from, of all places, commercials.
• 53:39
  Speaker 10: Uh-huh.
• 53:40
  Speaker 8: Everything new that I've heard Christmas-ly that I'm like, you know,
• 53:43
  Speaker 8: that's not bad. They're all on commercials. I'm just like,
• 53:46
  Speaker 8: I don't know if they're getting... And actually, I do.
• 53:48
  Speaker 8: I think they have gotten better at making commercials. They realize,
• 53:51
  Speaker 8: you know, the horrors that they are. But at the
• 53:54
  Speaker 8: same time, they're like, well, this is still a job.
• 53:56
  Speaker 8: I can still also use a little creativity and, you know,
• 53:59
  Speaker 8: just kind of do something cool with it.
• 54:00
  Speaker 12: So.
• 54:01
  Speaker 8: Some of them are just impressive visually. Other ones are
• 54:04
  Speaker 8: just they worked in a cool song. So either way,
• 54:06
  Speaker 8: I'll give them credit. So the first half of the
• 54:09
  Speaker 8: show here, I'm just going to work in songs for
• 54:11
  Speaker 8: the holidays from commercials. So, yeah, I'm not going to
• 54:15
  Speaker 8: plug any of the businesses involved because they have not
• 54:17
  Speaker 8: given us any money and we're freezing here. So screw
• 54:20
  Speaker 8: those guys. But I will play the song.
• 54:21
  Speaker 6: I bit my lip really hard earlier.
• 54:24
  Speaker 12: It hurts.
• 54:26
  Speaker 8: You should be numb. You shouldn't even be able to
• 54:27
  Speaker 8: feel that right now.
• 54:29
  Speaker 4: I prefer butter to margarine. Frogs.
• 54:34
  Speaker 6: That wasn't random. It was relevant to me.
• 54:39
  Speaker 8: Who wants to play volleyball?
• 54:41
  Speaker 4: It's not random if it's relevant to me.
• 54:43
  Speaker 8: And this has been another Marlena moment.
• 54:48
  Speaker 9: No, don't.
• 54:49
  Speaker 6: Don't you dare waste my Marlena moment.
• 54:51
  Speaker 4: Don't you do it.
• 54:52
  Speaker 8: That's like a sneak preview Marlena moment.
• 54:56
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 54:56
  Speaker 6: Misty, I've got so much funny stuff to tell her.
• 55:00
  Speaker 8: A slacker she's overwhelmed by the holidays so she wasn't
• 55:04
  Speaker 8: leaving the house as far as.
• 55:05
  Speaker 4: I know is she a holiday elf no.
• 55:08
  Speaker 8: She's kind of anti she's like ready to kill holiday
• 55:12
  Speaker 8: elves basically.
• 55:13
  Speaker 4: I didn't know if she was one of the people
• 55:14
  Speaker 4: that because of her job has a worse.
• 55:17
  Speaker 8: Life yeah she does work non-stop as of this week
• 55:22
  Speaker 8: it kicks in and she doesn't stop working until after
• 55:24
  Speaker 8: christmas is over so no thank you yeah seven days
• 55:27
  Speaker 8: a week every day she's not gonna be in a
• 55:29
  Speaker 8: good mood so it's probably to our advantage that she
• 55:31
  Speaker 8: weren't here this week because she would just be really
• 55:32
  Speaker 8: angry more than usual so you know it's a break
• 55:36
  Speaker 8: for everyone speaking of that we'll take a break and
• 55:38
  Speaker 8: we will be back with the rest of the show.
• 55:42
  Speaker 6: .
• 55:50
  Speaker 4: .
• 56:01
  Speaker 6: .
• 56:05
  Speaker 5: Charles Dickens finished his beautiful story, A Christmas Carol,
• 56:27
  Speaker 5: with these words. And it was always said of him
• 56:30
  Speaker 5: that he knew how to keep Christmas well if any
• 56:33
  Speaker 5: man alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said
• 56:37
  Speaker 5: of us and all of us. And so, as Tiny
• 56:40
  Speaker 5: Tim observed, God bless us, everyone. Which brings me to
• 56:47
  Speaker 5: the purpose of why I'm speaking to you at this moment.
• 56:50
  Speaker 5: The management and the staff of this theater have asked
• 56:53
  Speaker 5: me to convey to you their best wishes for a
• 56:56
  Speaker 5: most happy holiday season and a healthy, prosperous new year.
• 57:01
  Speaker 5: And so, as Tiny Tim observed, God bless us, everyone.
• 57:10
  Speaker 9: The two greatest figures in show business, Bing and Danny,
• 57:13
  Speaker 9: as two ex-GIs who form the perfect partnership. Rosemary and
• 57:18
  Speaker 9: Vera Ellen as the sisters who have them in a spin.
• 57:21
  Speaker 9: With Dean Jagger as the unemployed general they take under
• 57:24
  Speaker 9: their wing. A wonderful story that will warm your hearts,
• 57:27
  Speaker 9: just as the breathtaking scope of a new screen wonder
• 57:30
  Speaker 9: will widen your eyes. White Christmas in Pista Visions.
• 57:35
  Speaker 3: And you'll fall asleep, counting your blessings.
• 57:47
  Speaker 13: People of Eternia, I stand before the great eye of
• 57:51
  Speaker 13: the podosphere, chosen by destiny by the powers of Lipson.
• 57:58
  Speaker 13: This inevitable moment will transpire before your eyes, even as
• 58:03
  Speaker 13: He-Man himself bears witness to it.
• 58:05
  Speaker 8: Now I, Baby Skeletor.
• 58:08
  Speaker 13: Am master of the action attraction.
• 58:14
  Speaker 10: Action attraction. Your home for all things action. To find
• 58:18
  Speaker 10: out more, visit metalmikey.lipson.com or search for action attraction in iTunes.
• 58:37
  Speaker 5: Hello, this is Tom Kane, the voice of the professor
• 58:40
  Speaker 5: from The Powerpuff Girls.
• 58:42
  Speaker 9: And you're listening to Movie Meltdown. Oh, I love it so.
• 58:46
  Speaker 12: Oh, no.
• 58:46
  Speaker 4: What if I don't get my official Red Raider Carbine
• 58:49
  Speaker 4: Action 200 Shot Rage Model Air Rifle?
• 58:53
  Speaker 3: When Christmas time comes this year.
• 59:01
  Speaker 4: And leaves fall off the trees It's time to spread
• 59:08
  Speaker 4: some Christmas.
• 59:09
  Speaker 3: Cheer Hey.
• 59:37
  Speaker 6: Yeah I didn't know that was like a I wondered
• 59:39
  Speaker 6: if it was a.
• 59:40
  Speaker 8: Real band yeah like all of them like I want
• 59:42
  Speaker 8: to give them credit because it's cool that they're like
• 59:45
  Speaker 8: they're giving away to customers and they're also exposing the
• 59:48
  Speaker 8: band so I mean that's actually cool of them but
• 59:51
  Speaker 8: at the same time they didn't give.
• 59:52
  Speaker 6: Us any money so screw those guys yeah okay so.
• 59:54
  Speaker 4: Are we back Oh, this is the Marlena moment? Okay,
• 59:58
  Speaker 4: I'm going to sit back and have a snack.
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 8: Yeah, we do have our snacks, before you get to that.
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 8: You know, our ongoing series of eating in the middle
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 8: of our gatherings here, we decided to have our festive,
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 8: much like we did last year, I had to have
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 8: some sort of candy. And then, so we've got our
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 8: Hershey Kisses. And I was called out last year because
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 8: it's a Halloween bowl. I was like, all my serving
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 8: dishes are Halloween. So it's ghost-shaped, and I decided it's
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 8: the Ghosts of Christmas Past.
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 4: It is.
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 6: There you go. And I brought a cheese ball.
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 8: You are a cheese ball. You were called out for
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 8: being a cannibal.
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 6: I know.
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 4: I know.
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 6: Well, okay. So, this is funny.
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 4: Should I intro it first?
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 6: Yeah, okay.
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 8: It's time for another Marlena moment.
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 6: Okay, so last Friday, I'd never been to a strip
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 6: club before.
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 8: What the hell is wrong with you?
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 6: My friends and I decided that it's about time in
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 6: my life, tender age of 25, to visit my first.
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 8: This was a girly strip club, right?
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 6: Yeah, a female strip club.
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 4: All right.
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 6: To visit a strip club, of course. And I'm not
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 6: into naked women. So we figure, why not make it
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 6: as horrible as possible? No PTs, no classy show, no
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 6: classy gentleman's club. We went to the Rustic Frog.
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 12: Oh.
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 6: It's this really gross.
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 4: New Albany, Indiana.
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 8: It sounds as frightening as it is.
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 12: It is.
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 4: Not that there's that much wrong with New Albany, but
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 4: it's just.
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 8: There kind of is.
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 9: Yeah.
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 8: Christy will fight me on that, but I steer clear
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 8: of it if I can.
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 6: Yeah. So we went to the Rustic Frog. You know,
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 6: we teamed up. It was three gentlemen, three ladies, my
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 6: friends and I.
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 8: Tag team.
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 12: Yeah.
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 6: And we get there, and there's like maybe three strippers
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 6: running around. You know, they're not anything.
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 8: They're not even on stage.
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 4: They're just running.
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 6: They're not even on stage. No, literally, one was running.
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 8: You have to pay extra.
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 4: For that usually.
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 6: Yeah. And, you know, it wasn't bad because I was
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 6: like worried that they wouldn't have underwear on, and that's
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 6: gross and horribly unhygienic.
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 8: That's the other one. You can't buy booze at those places.
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 6: Yeah, but they had underwear on, which was nice. They
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 6: were all horribly unattractive, of course, of course. But so,
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 6: you know, it's kind of lame. We go upstairs. We
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 6: play pool for a while where there's no naked girls.
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 6: We come downstairs. My friends, the males. are shoving dollars
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 6: at me. They're like, you need a lap dance! Or, like,
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 6: not even that. I guess I technically did in a way.
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 8: Did you give a lap dance?
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 6: No, I didn't give a lap dance.
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 4: You could have, is how it turns out.
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 6: Yeah, so, you know, whatever. A stripper, like, danced on me.
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 6: It was gross. I laughed and was, like, horribly embarrassed.
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 4: And just felt like that.
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 6: I felt like I needed to take a shower. But
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 6: here's the funny part. So my friend Andrew, he.
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 6: Ten times worse than Misty. Does not like people with
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 6: red hair or freckles. Does not like them at all.
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 4: This could be fun already.
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 6: And we notice there's a meth-teeth, flabby, just sweet girl.
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 6: Sweet girl. Probably has like eight kids at home.
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 8: That's so sad.
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 6: Much love to this poor girl. We're like, let's get
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 6: Andrew a strip dance from that ginger. So we all
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 6: pitched in. She drags him off to this little secret
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 6: room and he's like flipping us off. He's like, I
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 6: fucking hate you. You're all dead. I'm going to kill
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 6: you all. And yeah, so he got a strip dance
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 6: or a lap dance from this poor stripper who had
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 6: a body of a 12-year-old boy and red hair and
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 6: freckles and meth teeth.
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 4: And meth mouth.
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 8: Now he knows she's a real woman.
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 6: About like two minutes and he's just sitting there like,
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 6: But his eyes closed, looking nauseous. And she's like, this
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 6: isn't really doing anything for you. And he's like, I'm sorry, no.
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 6: And she's like, well, it's only my third day. He
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 6: was like, oh, well, I can't tell. And so she
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 6: just stopped and sat next to him. And she's like,
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 6: so what do.
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 4: You do for a living?
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 6: He's like, oh, I do taxes.
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 4: They're reenacting a scene with Natalie Portman from Closer.
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 8: Yeah, kind of. At any point did she start crying?
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 7: Right.
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 4: Because you know the rule.
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 6: Maybe after... That dance is always better than the stripper's crying.
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 4: Dance straight.
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah, no.
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 6: No, there was no crying. From her. From Andrew, yes.
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 8: Well, he was asking for it, though.
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 6: Her, no.
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 8: Going to a strip club. What did he... Oh, oh.
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 4: Naked girls.
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 6: Actually, I realize this is a three-part Marlena moment. Uh-oh.
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 6: But earlier in the week, I had gone to a different,
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 6: just a regular old bar.
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 4: A different strip bar.
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 6: Just a regular old bar with my friends, Andrew and Ben.
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 6: And Ben and I were standing at the bar. We
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 6: look over at Andrew. There's this extremely large, older, much
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 6: older lady, missing teeth, giving Andrew a lap dance. And
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 6: we're just laughing. And he's like, oh, God. And she's, like,
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 6: holding him by his shoulders. And, you know, we could
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 6: have went and, like, tried to help him, but it
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 6: was just too funny.
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 8: So he started videoing it on your phone.
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 6: Should have. We should have.
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 8: You really should have.
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 11: And, uh.
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 6: And Ben was like, I'm pretty sure she was making
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 6: out with a girl earlier. And I was like, oh,
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 6: two for one Tuesday at the lighthouse. So we go
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 6: over to Andrew, and he was like, my leg is
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 6: hot and wet. And he was just so freaked out.
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 6: He was like, she held me down and stared me
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 6: in my eyes. It was terrible. And she just wouldn't
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 6: leave us alone. Like, you know, I went off and
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 6: started dancing, doing my thing. And I sat back down
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 6: at the table, and she tried to, like, get to
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 6: Andrew again so I stood in between her like I
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 6: was like talking to him she grabbed me by my
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 6: waist and started spanking me and instead of him helping
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 6: me I guess he was paying me back he just
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 6: laughed at that point sure and then you know she
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 6: wanders off and makes out with like the person that
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 6: she's with and the other person that she's with and
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 6: the other person that she's with this is a classy
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 6: gal yeah she was extremely classy and then she comes
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 6: back to our table and sits down and takes our
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 6: beer pitcher and starts chugging from our beer pitcher and
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 6: she like spills it all over and burps really loudly.
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 6: And then she looks over at Ben, and I guess
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 6: she hadn't noticed him before, and she was like, Hey!
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 6: You're really sexy. You're so sexy. And she's trying to
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 6: rip his coat off. And he's like, no, no, this
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 6: is a wool coat. Ma'am, please stop. Please stop. She's like,
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 6: shut your fucking mouth.
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 4: This is a classy lady.
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 6: Awesome.
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 4: Wasn't that in Blue Velvet?
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 8: Kind of, but they weren't still in the bar. At
• 1:06:22
  Speaker 8: that point, they'd gone back to Herblades.
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 4: Shut your fucking mouth. Don't you fucking look at me.
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 6: Don't you look at me. Leave that fucking wool coat on.
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 8: Where's my bourbon in my wool coat?
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 6: But then the girl, apparently that lady was married, and
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 6: that girl was just like an extra, and she was
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 6: there with her husband, and that younger, more disgusting girl.
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 4: Sometimes you've got to rotate that.
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 6: She's like trying to be sexy and do a back bend,
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 6: and her shirt comes up, and she's just like, she's
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 6: been eating cheeseburgers every day of her life. And maybe
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 6: never stepped inside like a fitness club of any sort.
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 6: And she almost fell trying to do this sexy back bend.
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 8: Quotations.
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 6: And then she like stands up and she looks at
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 6: me and she's like, you're here with two guys.
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 4: All right, player.
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 6: And she like tried to teach me this special handshake.
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 6: And I'm like. I don't really think you understand the situation,
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 6: but it was just, it was hilarious. And, oh, one more,
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 6: one more.
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 12: Part three.
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 8: Part three.
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 6: This has nothing to do with Andrew getting a lap dance, but,
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 6: or me getting a lap dance. But, okay, so this
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 6: man used to come into my work. He's been coming
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 6: into my work for several years. His name's Doug. He's
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 6: a sci-fi nerd. He isn't gay. He's not effeminate in
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 6: any way. And I don't know a lot about transgender people, but,
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 6: you know, you kind of, Usually can see it coming
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 6: just a little bit. So he came in and sat
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 6: at the bar a couple of weeks ago and I
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 6: looked over and he was dressed as a woman. But
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 6: not just any woman.
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 3: Me.
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 6: Dressed as me. I'm not making this up, people. Dressed
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 6: as me.
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 8: Yep. And if you're not familiar with her, she does
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 8: have a very specific look.
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 13: Yeah.
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 8: A very specific style of dressing. And your hairstyle has
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 8: been kind of similar to that for a while.
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 4: You don't accidentally look like Marlene.
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 6: No.
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you don't accidentally.
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 6: You know, a 60-year-old man doesn't accidentally look like me.
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 7: You know?
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 2: And I mean.
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 6: And he was always like... He's always been more friendly
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 6: to me. And I guess like he... sees my inner
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 6: nerdiness and like always felt like he connected to me
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 6: or whatever. And he'd always be like, Oh, I love
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 6: your hair. I love your bangs or something like that.
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 6: But it was more of like a, I'm creepy. I'm
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 6: hitting on you kind of thing. Not like I'm going
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 6: to rip your fucking style off.
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 4: I don't know which is worse. Single white female too.
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 4: I know exactly.
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 8: I'm like, Oh man.
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 6: Doug got all single white female on me. And, uh,
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 6: you know, apparently he had done this a few weeks
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 6: earlier or Halloween and, And, you know, my boss was like, what?
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 6: Is he dressed as Marlena for Halloween? And no one
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 6: told me. I was like, you all knew about this
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 6: and you didn't tell me? And they're like, yeah, we forgot.
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 6: We blocked it out. Sorry.
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 8: In his defense, that was also my Halloween costume.
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 4: It's been pretty popular this year.
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 8: I saw it a couple stores. They've got a fake
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 8: stand-in version of you on the front of this package.
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 8: It's going to catch on next year.
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 4: You just wait.
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 6: But I was like, oh, and he's actually going to
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 6: get a gender reassignment surgery, which is pretty serious, you know?
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 12: Yeah.
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 6: But see, here's my thing, though. This man is just strange.
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 6: He's not like... He doesn't.
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 8: Seem confused by the way that you've described him to
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 8: me earlier. I was like, it's not like he's wrestling
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 8: with which way do I go kind of thing.
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 9: Yeah.
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 6: Yeah, you know, and here's the theory that I have, which,
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 6: you know, scares me, obviously, because he's imitating my style. Like,
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 6: this is just a man who has never had anyone
• 1:09:52
  Speaker 6: look twice at him in his life, you know? It's like,
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 6: it's almost like he's desperate for attention, and this is
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 6: the link that he'll go to. And, I mean, having
• 1:09:59
  Speaker 6: your dick chopped off is pretty fucking serious, you know?
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 6: That's pretty desperate, you know, like. And like I said,
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 6: if I just honestly believed he felt like he was
• 1:10:09
  Speaker 6: a woman trapped in a man's body, that'd be one thing.
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 6: But like, I've known this guy like loosely, but for
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 6: years and like.
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 4: It's never come off that way, which never been the case.
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 8: Usually there's something going on there. Yeah.
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 6: Yeah. And I mean, like, I don't know, I'm not
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 6: a transgender expert, like I said, but like, It just
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 6: seems really weird to me, and it kind of scares
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 6: me a little that this man has decided to jack
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 6: my style.
• 1:10:33
  Speaker 4: It's very weird.
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 6: I'm like, maybe I'm the only girl he knows or something.
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 6: I don't know.
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 13: Could be.
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 6: But, I mean, it's not like we're friends or, you know,
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 6: he's someone that comes into my work.
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 4: Well, he might take your friends.
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 8: Yeah. Your best friends in his mind.
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 6: Maybe. Maybe, yeah. Very strange. But I think that's it
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 6: as far as that. My Marlena moments go... I mean,
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 6: I can probably think of like 40 more strange ones.
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 8: That's a lot to deal with.
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 4: You're on podcast.
• 1:11:01
  Speaker 1: I know.
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 9: I do.
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 6: Those are probably the biggest ones so far, which I
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 6: think those are pretty epic as far as.
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 8: There's the Marlena moment hat trick there.
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 4: All right.
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 9: Good going.
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 6: It's been a while.
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 12: I mean.
• 1:11:13
  Speaker 6: Those happen three separate weeks, so had we been here
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 6: for the last three weeks, it wouldn't have taken up
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 6: so much time.
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 4: Forget about her geek week. Hers will just be her
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 4: freak week. Exactly.
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 8: It's an offshoot show now. We're going to start doing it.
• 1:11:29
  Speaker 6: Yep. I keep telling people, it's like yesterday, I'm sitting
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 6: on the couch with my best friend and her mom,
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 6: and there's a spring sticking out of the couch, and.
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 4: She was like, Does this sound good already? Yeah.
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 6: She was like, watch out, don't jam that spring in
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 6: your ass. And my friend goes, wouldn't be the first
• 1:11:48
  Speaker 6: time I had something jammed in my ass. And I'm
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 6: just like, you said that to your mother? And then
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 6: her mother said something really horrible later about a hot dog.
• 1:11:58
  Speaker 6: You know, I was like, I need a... More than anything,
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 6: I feel like I need to start small and get
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 6: a Twitter and just quote these ridiculous things that people say.
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 6: I mean, it's not just me. It's everyone around me.
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 6: The weirdest, funniest, most ridiculous things are said.
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 8: You can be the next shit my dad says. It'll
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 8: just be shit that goes on around me.
• 1:12:16
  Speaker 6: I know.
• 1:12:16
  Speaker 8: And next season, you'll have your own TV show.
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 9: Yeah, I know.
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 4: With Leonard Nimoy. Between what? Be the jackass.
• 1:12:24
  Speaker 6: Between what my mom says and what my best friend's
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 6: mom says and everything else is just like, I could
• 1:12:31
  Speaker 6: be making money off of this.
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 4: I mean, damn. Well, you're not going to make anything
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 4: off of Twitter. So, yeah. That's true.
• 1:12:36
  Speaker 8: Unless you can get that sweet deal that that guy did.
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 4: I don't know what.
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 8: That guy sold his soul to the devil to get that.
• 1:12:42
  Speaker 8: That's crazy.
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I know I won't make anything off Twitter, but
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 6: if someone.
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 8: It may lead you to something else.
• 1:12:48
  Speaker 6: We'll pay you money to do.
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 8: Tell a crazy story.
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 4: You and Larry David... to make the next show not
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 4: about anything, just random encounters. Just like the next Seinfeld
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 4: is Marlena. I'd watch that. That sounds pretty awesome, actually.
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 6: My mom wouldn't because she really hates Larry David.
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 8: Once again, that doesn't surprise me.
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 4: He's funny sometimes, too.
• 1:13:12
  Speaker 8: I give him more credit creatively. His performances, he is
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 8: pretty annoying. But I mean, he knows he's annoying. He's
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 8: going for that. But yeah, as a writer, producer kind
• 1:13:23
  Speaker 8: of angle, yeah, he's sort of genius. I give him
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 8: that credit, not so much the actor credit. So does
• 1:13:30
  Speaker 8: that round out your.
• 1:13:30
  Speaker 6: Yeah, it does. Totally does.
• 1:13:32
  Speaker 8: That has been another three, in fact, Marlena moment.
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 4: All right.
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 8: So, um, normally, and you know, I was even planning
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 8: up until probably earlier today, I was still going to
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 8: try to, I mean, we're, we're trying to get back
• 1:13:46
  Speaker 8: on track in our semi return to a usual schedule
• 1:13:49
  Speaker 8: and a usual, um, layout of the show basically, where
• 1:13:52
  Speaker 8: we get back to doing what's the buzz. Cause I
• 1:13:54
  Speaker 8: still like that, you know, and I like getting back
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 8: to that. So we've done it, you know, one along
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 8: the road as we went. So we haven't totally forgotten
• 1:14:01
  Speaker 8: about it, but so I was going to try to
• 1:14:03
  Speaker 8: work it back in this week. And then I looked
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 8: at the, uh, the news this week and it all
• 1:14:09
  Speaker 8: sucked like it was just like there's nothing good and
• 1:14:12
  Speaker 8: the few things that are out there that are kind
• 1:14:14
  Speaker 8: of interesting we've already talked about this is just like
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 8: new casting thrown in the middle of it so it's
• 1:14:18
  Speaker 8: sort of retread so i'm like yeah it's like the
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 8: other thing i had been thinking about is a few
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 8: you know days ago somebody sent me a link to
• 1:14:26
  Speaker 8: this short film and i was like well technically last
• 1:14:29
  Speaker 8: year we did actually you know watch a short film
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 8: and a movie so maybe that's a good holiday tradition
• 1:14:34
  Speaker 8: we'll see if we can work that in So, yeah,
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 8: we decided to, in place of the buzz this week,
• 1:14:41
  Speaker 8: sit down and watch the short film Treevenge. I don't
• 1:14:45
  Speaker 8: know if you guys were prepared for this.
• 1:14:46
  Speaker 4: I wasn't prepared, no.
• 1:14:48
  Speaker 6: Oh, man.
• 1:14:49
  Speaker 8: So, yes, it is available on YouTube. I believe they
• 1:14:52
  Speaker 8: have their own website as well. I think it's won
• 1:14:55
  Speaker 8: some sort of film festival awards because it's that impressive. So, yeah,
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 8: it's Treevenge 2008, director Jason Eisner. I'd say it's worth watching,
• 1:15:06
  Speaker 8: especially since it's free on YouTube. Screw it. You know,
• 1:15:08
  Speaker 8: it's the holidays.
• 1:15:09
  Speaker 4: Who doesn't want to watch a crazy tree bloodbath? So, um, yeah, we'll,
• 1:15:15
  Speaker 4: we'll throw out the spoiler alert on this one.
• 1:15:16
  Speaker 8: Too, because it, you know, we are going to ruin
• 1:15:18
  Speaker 8: the big turning point of this movie.
• 1:15:21
  Speaker 4: Yeah. So yeah.
• 1:15:23
  Speaker 6: Okay.
• 1:15:23
  Speaker 8: Other than that, where, where would you like to start with?
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 4: I was impressed. I commented when we started watching, I
• 1:15:27
  Speaker 4: was impressed that it looked old, like, you know, um,
• 1:15:32
  Speaker 4: That it was on actual reel-to-reel or something like that
• 1:15:36
  Speaker 4: at some point. Like old footage.
• 1:15:37
  Speaker 12: Right.
• 1:15:38
  Speaker 4: Even the sound, I'm assuming the sound sounded somewhat warped.
• 1:15:42
  Speaker 4: I don't know if that was the digital transfer or
• 1:15:44
  Speaker 4: anything like that.
• 1:15:45
  Speaker 8: Could just be my crappy internet reception.
• 1:15:46
  Speaker 4: Well, you know. But it sounded like it was a
• 1:15:48
  Speaker 4: warped film. But it worked.
• 1:15:49
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 1:15:49
  Speaker 4: It was made in 1982 or something like that.
• 1:15:52
  Speaker 9: No, no.
• 1:15:52
  Speaker 12: 2008.
• 1:15:52
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 1:15:52
  Speaker 7: Right.
• 1:15:58
  Speaker 8: Which is more impressive that they made it look like that.
• 1:16:00
  Speaker 8: And actually do kind of pull off that dated, you know,
• 1:16:03
  Speaker 8: early eighties era horror film look that it has. So,
• 1:16:07
  Speaker 8: but yeah, I think it is, it is right off
• 1:16:08
  Speaker 8: the bat. It's shot pretty well. It is something that
• 1:16:11
  Speaker 8: they do put a little time and effort into getting
• 1:16:13
  Speaker 8: some of these shots. Some of them were very ridiculous
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 8: and over the top, but I still think it's more
• 1:16:18
  Speaker 8: creative visually than a lot of regular, you know, full
• 1:16:21
  Speaker 8: length feature films that I've seen on, you know, straight
• 1:16:23
  Speaker 8: to DVD before. So I think just visually it's pretty impressive.
• 1:16:27
  Speaker 4: Yeah. I, Do we go to the big reveal yet?
• 1:16:31
  Speaker 8: We can start with the first part. I mean, it
• 1:16:33
  Speaker 8: starts off, it's already very horror-like. It does these serene
• 1:16:37
  Speaker 8: shots of the trees, and then very quickly you've got like,
• 1:16:40
  Speaker 8: a big axe step into frame and the heavy music
• 1:16:43
  Speaker 8: and it takes on a very horror role at this point.
• 1:16:47
  Speaker 6: Like these poor Christmas trees were in a concentration camp.
• 1:16:51
  Speaker 4: That's what it felt like.
• 1:16:52
  Speaker 8: It actually felt like a Christmas tree death camp by
• 1:16:54
  Speaker 8: the end of it where they're just bowing them down,
• 1:16:57
  Speaker 8: they're throwing them down treadmills.
• 1:16:59
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's just like.
• 1:17:00
  Speaker 8: It really does have sort of a creepy death camp
• 1:17:02
  Speaker 8: feel to it.
• 1:17:03
  Speaker 4: Dumping them off the backs of trucks.
• 1:17:05
  Speaker 8: Yep, lighting them on fire.
• 1:17:07
  Speaker 4: Why were they lighting them on fire?
• 1:17:10
  Speaker 8: I mean, well, that one he was dragging looked horrible.
• 1:17:12
  Speaker 8: I'm like, why would you even cut down that one
• 1:17:13
  Speaker 8: that is missing two-thirds of its branches? That's just bad
• 1:17:17
  Speaker 8: on your part, buddy. But yeah, we get this whole
• 1:17:20
  Speaker 8: group of lumberjacks or whatever they're supposed to be that
• 1:17:23
  Speaker 8: are just like.
• 1:17:24
  Speaker 4: Lumberjerks. Yeah, well, they're like psychopaths.
• 1:17:26
  Speaker 8: I mean, they really are basically mimicking every killer in
• 1:17:30
  Speaker 8: a horror movie for the last 20, 30 years. I mean,
• 1:17:33
  Speaker 8: they're crazy. You said your favorite part was him chopping
• 1:17:37
  Speaker 8: at the tree with a chainsaw.
• 1:17:39
  Speaker 4: The chainsaw's running, and he's chopping at the throats.
• 1:17:42
  Speaker 8: I don't know if that's the recommended way to use it,
• 1:17:44
  Speaker 8: but all right. It makes you look even crazier. So
• 1:17:47
  Speaker 8: there's a lot of screaming and, yeah, a lot of
• 1:17:48
  Speaker 8: them just yelling obscenities at the trees. And then you
• 1:17:52
  Speaker 8: get that moment where the tree starts moving and making
• 1:17:55
  Speaker 8: little noises.
• 1:17:56
  Speaker 6: Little baby trees, little sad things. That was sad.
• 1:17:59
  Speaker 8: And you're going to realize that they're going to use
• 1:18:01
  Speaker 8: actual trees as, like, puppets, basically. They're not puppets. It's
• 1:18:04
  Speaker 8: a real little tree, but they're shaking it around and
• 1:18:06
  Speaker 8: pretending like it's a puppet.
• 1:18:08
  Speaker 4: And then doing.
• 1:18:09
  Speaker 8: Little making little weird noises and you get subtitles so
• 1:18:13
  Speaker 8: you get to see what's going on inside these trees
• 1:18:15
  Speaker 8: mines or wherever it goes.
• 1:18:18
  Speaker 6: On the guy putting the Vaseline on the tree base,
• 1:18:22
  Speaker 6: the tree hole. I don't think that's his mind.
• 1:18:24
  Speaker 8: He drilled a hole out in the base of the tree.
• 1:18:26
  Speaker 8: That's once he got it home.
• 1:18:27
  Speaker 4: The whole idea of sap, that would be bad.
• 1:18:39
  Speaker 8: It seems like it wouldn't help, even with Vaseline. You'd
• 1:18:42
  Speaker 8: be working against it there.
• 1:18:44
  Speaker 4: I don't know. That was the disturbing one of the
• 1:18:46
  Speaker 4: most disturbing parts of the movie.
• 1:18:49
  Speaker 8: So we do yeah we get them like taking away
• 1:18:51
  Speaker 8: all these so you do realize it's them like taking
• 1:18:53
  Speaker 8: all these you know trees from out in the wild
• 1:18:55
  Speaker 8: and turning them into Christmas trees and they're on the
• 1:18:58
  Speaker 8: truck and they're yelling back and forth at each other
• 1:19:00
  Speaker 8: and they talk like gremlins yeah so they're just gonna
• 1:19:04
  Speaker 8: it sounds very much like you know gremlins yelling at
• 1:19:06
  Speaker 8: each other and um Then they get to the tree
• 1:19:10
  Speaker 8: yard where they're selling Christmas trees. Christmas tree stand. Yeah,
• 1:19:14
  Speaker 8: you've got some sort of jerk that opens the truck
• 1:19:16
  Speaker 8: and is like, oh, right, here they are. So, yeah,
• 1:19:19
  Speaker 8: you realize then they're going to get picked. But along
• 1:19:21
  Speaker 8: the way, you get a lot of tree POV, which
• 1:19:23
  Speaker 8: I don't think I've ever seen in a movie. Unless
• 1:19:26
  Speaker 8: maybe Evil Dead 2, but we get sort of a
• 1:19:28
  Speaker 8: return to that Evil Dead 2 moment later. We'll get
• 1:19:30
  Speaker 8: to that. But you do get a lot of shots
• 1:19:33
  Speaker 8: from the point of view of a tree, which is interesting.
• 1:19:36
  Speaker 8: And then, yeah, is there anything you want to get
• 1:19:41
  Speaker 8: to before we hit the turning point?
• 1:19:44
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 1:19:45
  Speaker 4: To me, there was one family that's decorating, I guess,
• 1:19:48
  Speaker 4: the main tree, and From the tree's perspective, it's called,
• 1:19:52
  Speaker 4: what's this horrible music or sound? What's that sound? And
• 1:19:56
  Speaker 4: you see this family carrying the boxes and the tinsel.
• 1:19:59
  Speaker 4: And that's almost creepy. That makes you look to yourself
• 1:20:03
  Speaker 4: and go, what the fuck are we doing? That's me.
• 1:20:07
  Speaker 4: Why do people do that? Why is it a tradition?
• 1:20:10
  Speaker 4: Why are you?
• 1:20:11
  Speaker 6: I never felt more guilty about decorating for Christmas ever.
• 1:20:15
  Speaker 4: I like tools. I mean, it's really dumb, the whole thing.
• 1:20:19
  Speaker 8: Well, you just get roped into it, and you're taught
• 1:20:22
  Speaker 8: that as a kid, and you come up and you
• 1:20:23
  Speaker 8: do it to your kids.
• 1:20:25
  Speaker 6: Like, I felt like the... I mean, I could have
• 1:20:28
  Speaker 6: been watching something, the perspective of, like, a bunny rabbit
• 1:20:31
  Speaker 6: right before, like, eating a bunny rabbit stew or something
• 1:20:33
  Speaker 6: like that. I would not have felt any better. I mean,
• 1:20:35
  Speaker 6: it really made me, I bought into the sadness and
• 1:20:38
  Speaker 6: despair of these poor trees. I'm like, I never want
• 1:20:40
  Speaker 6: to harm another tree. I'm never going to use paper again.
• 1:20:43
  Speaker 8: I like your theory, Greg, that who produced this film.
• 1:20:46
  Speaker 11: Right.
• 1:20:47
  Speaker 8: We don't know that, but what's your take?
• 1:20:48
  Speaker 4: My theory was that it was the plastic tree companies
• 1:20:51
  Speaker 4: developed to make you feel bad. This horror show. You're
• 1:20:56
  Speaker 4: killing all of these trees, and they're crying, and their
• 1:20:58
  Speaker 4: babies are shaking.
• 1:20:59
  Speaker 8: It's like propaganda film, basically.
• 1:21:02
  Speaker 4: Well, I'm never going to buy a real tree again.
• 1:21:04
  Speaker 4: I've never had a real tree.
• 1:21:06
  Speaker 8: It would probably work. Even if you just cut it
• 1:21:08
  Speaker 8: off at this halfway point, it would kind of work
• 1:21:10
  Speaker 8: as that. If you put it out in the right
• 1:21:12
  Speaker 8: circles and the right people saw that, they'd be like.
• 1:21:14
  Speaker 4: Let's just get a fake tree this year. If you
• 1:21:16
  Speaker 4: showed that to kids, they would be horrified. They would
• 1:21:19
  Speaker 4: never want to decorate a tree again.
• 1:21:21
  Speaker 8: By the way, don't show this to kids unless you
• 1:21:24
  Speaker 8: want to scar them because it's already scarring them even
• 1:21:26
  Speaker 8: up to this point. Now we're going to hit the
• 1:21:29
  Speaker 8: turning point of this movie.
• 1:21:30
  Speaker 4: It's on after the peanut special this year. Yeah, yeah. Treevenge.
• 1:21:33
  Speaker 8: Treevenge. So, yeah, are we ready to go there?
• 1:21:38
  Speaker 10: Make a reveal.
• 1:21:38
  Speaker 8: All right, so, and this is, to me, the best
• 1:21:41
  Speaker 8: moment of the entire movie here. You've got the whole
• 1:21:44
  Speaker 8: family Christmas morning, and they come down, and Dad's, you know,
• 1:21:47
  Speaker 8: video verite-ing the whole family, so you've got your shaky
• 1:21:49
  Speaker 8: cam of them opening presents, and Dad's being.
• 1:21:51
  Speaker 4: A goofball, and he's like, I love Christmas so much, and.
• 1:21:55
  Speaker 8: They're just it's this cheesy Christmas morning moment. And at
• 1:21:58
  Speaker 8: one point, the girl stands up in front of the
• 1:21:59
  Speaker 8: tree and the tree reaches out and grabs the tree,
• 1:22:04
  Speaker 8: has arms and snatches up on a bitch.
• 1:22:06
  Speaker 4: She's bleeding instantly.
• 1:22:08
  Speaker 9: Yes.
• 1:22:09
  Speaker 4: And they don't hold back on the blood. Not at all.
• 1:22:12
  Speaker 4: The family's horrified. It's rightfully so.
• 1:22:14
  Speaker 9: Yeah.
• 1:22:15
  Speaker 7: Oh, yeah.
• 1:22:16
  Speaker 4: Wow.
• 1:22:17
  Speaker 8: That is like, again, if you are the right version
• 1:22:21
  Speaker 8: of a sick bastard, that's the greatest moment. And I
• 1:22:24
  Speaker 8: was like, oh, this is awesome now. It was fun
• 1:22:27
  Speaker 8: before just showing the Tree's point of view, but now
• 1:22:30
  Speaker 8: I kind of knew it was coming with a name
• 1:22:32
  Speaker 8: like Treevenge, but... wow they really went there.
• 1:22:35
  Speaker 4: And then every scene after that they up the ante
• 1:22:39
  Speaker 4: a little bit more you know every killing scene from
• 1:22:41
  Speaker 4: then it goes to the the two sisters that were
• 1:22:44
  Speaker 4: in the trailer that somehow some kind of clown car
• 1:22:47
  Speaker 4: trailer that was extremely small on the outside but huge
• 1:22:50
  Speaker 4: on the inside they're chasing them you know there's a
• 1:22:55
  Speaker 4: mob almost like zombie trees around them and then it
• 1:22:59
  Speaker 4: cuts to the the couple that were of course in
• 1:23:02
  Speaker 4: every horror film if you're getting frisky or about to
• 1:23:05
  Speaker 4: have sex, you're going to get killed.
• 1:23:07
  Speaker 8: And so, well, and, and that weird, you know, offshoot
• 1:23:10
  Speaker 8: tradition of people doing it by the light of the tree,
• 1:23:12
  Speaker 8: which I guess happens.
• 1:23:14
  Speaker 4: I don't know.
• 1:23:14
  Speaker 8: But in this story, they're definitely doing it. And I
• 1:23:17
  Speaker 8: believe my favorite line is also, it's Christmas. I just
• 1:23:20
  Speaker 8: want to fuck.
• 1:23:23
  Speaker 4: Do you want all the presents? No, it's Christmas. I
• 1:23:26
  Speaker 4: just want to fuck.
• 1:23:28
  Speaker 8: That's some writing there, ladies and gentlemen.
• 1:23:31
  Speaker 4: But that scene is, I don't even want to describe it.
• 1:23:33
  Speaker 4: That was disgusting.
• 1:23:35
  Speaker 8: But that kind of crosses over into the Evil Dead
• 1:23:39
  Speaker 8: 2 tree moment. Not quite as much, not to the
• 1:23:42
  Speaker 8: extent that it does in Evil Dead 2, but equally
• 1:23:44
  Speaker 8: as horrifying and also ties in both parties. So it
• 1:23:48
  Speaker 8: finds a really creepy way to work them both into
• 1:23:50
  Speaker 8: this little killing spree.
• 1:23:53
  Speaker 4: And then the baby. Okay.
• 1:23:57
  Speaker 6: Yeah, see, like.
• 1:23:59
  Speaker 4: Does that go too far?
• 1:24:00
  Speaker 8: It didn't for me, but I'm a heartless bastard, so.
• 1:24:03
  Speaker 4: It's right on that line.
• 1:24:04
  Speaker 6: I don't like to watch... I mean, like, I'm real
• 1:24:06
  Speaker 6: sensitive about stuff like that. Like, I don't like to
• 1:24:08
  Speaker 6: watch children or babies get hurt. Like, I watched the
• 1:24:11
  Speaker 6: first episode of Boardwalk Empire, and there's a scene in there,
• 1:24:15
  Speaker 6: and I'm just like.
• 1:24:17
  Speaker 6: I just don't like to watch pregnant women or small
• 1:24:20
  Speaker 6: children or babies or animals. Everyone else, they can die.
• 1:24:23
  Speaker 6: I don't care.
• 1:24:24
  Speaker 8: The animals, I'm on board with babies. Again, if it's
• 1:24:26
  Speaker 8: done serious, it's a different tone. You do kind of
• 1:24:29
  Speaker 8: feel that way. But this one is so ridiculous at
• 1:24:31
  Speaker 8: this point.
• 1:24:32
  Speaker 4: It's so over the top. I mean, it's equally as
• 1:24:34
  Speaker 4: goofy as like.
• 1:24:36
  Speaker 2: your mother ate my dog dead alive dead alive there
• 1:24:39
  Speaker 2: you go it's I mean to me it's as ridiculous
• 1:24:43
  Speaker 2: as you know being upset about that baby being injured
• 1:24:45
  Speaker 2: because it's that over the top it's that silly at
• 1:24:48
  Speaker 2: that point in the movie that you're like alright whatever
• 1:24:50
  Speaker 2: all bets are.
• 1:24:50
  Speaker 4: Off well the lumberjack had already stomped on the baby tree.
• 1:24:55
  Speaker 8: And that's what I thought it was yeah they were
• 1:24:56
  Speaker 8: kind of going for that bringing it back around the.
• 1:24:58
  Speaker 4: Tree's gonna stomp on the baby human yep.
• 1:25:01
  Speaker 8: I thought that was I was like well fitting it's
• 1:25:03
  Speaker 8: tree veg that's what it is You bastards do that
• 1:25:07
  Speaker 8: to them, this is how it comes back down.
• 1:25:09
  Speaker 4: What would have made the movie better is if somehow
• 1:25:11
  Speaker 4: the trees would have taken them back to the forest
• 1:25:14
  Speaker 4: and then decorated the shit out of them. That would
• 1:25:15
  Speaker 4: be awesome. Treevenge 2. Let's see, where are we going?
• 1:25:20
  Speaker 8: I was trying to think of another bad subtitle to
• 1:25:22
  Speaker 8: add on.
• 1:25:23
  Speaker 4: Sorry. There's tensile and ornaments all over humans. That would
• 1:25:27
  Speaker 4: probably be pretty awesome, actually. Better than anything.
• 1:25:30
  Speaker 8: Treevenge 2, trimming the trees.
• 1:25:33
  Speaker 4: So, yeah.
• 1:25:35
  Speaker 8: I will give it credit for is I'm assuming a
• 1:25:37
  Speaker 8: relatively low budget short film. They had decent effects. There's
• 1:25:41
  Speaker 8: moments when it looks cheesy, but again, it's the kind
• 1:25:43
  Speaker 8: of cheesy at this point in the film that you're
• 1:25:45
  Speaker 8: on board with. You don't care. You really don't care.
• 1:25:48
  Speaker 8: But some of the other stuff I'm like, you know,
• 1:25:49
  Speaker 8: that's pretty good actually for, for a very limited budget project.
• 1:25:53
  Speaker 8: Some of the stuff looks pretty good.
• 1:25:57
  Speaker 4: So 95% of the population should never even turn this.
• 1:26:01
  Speaker 8: No, but, But 95% of the people who listen to
• 1:26:04
  Speaker 8: our show will probably enjoy the hell out of it.
• 1:26:05
  Speaker 4: If you're offended, don't watch it. But other than that, yeah.
• 1:26:08
  Speaker 8: If you watched Thanksgiving and it was awesome, you're probably
• 1:26:11
  Speaker 8: not going to have a problem with this movie. You
• 1:26:13
  Speaker 8: might not like it as much. You don't get the
• 1:26:15
  Speaker 8: cursing or the scary boobs at the beginning.
• 1:26:17
  Speaker 4: But, you know, you still get.
• 1:26:19
  Speaker 8: Sort of the same mood going on here.
• 1:26:22
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 1:26:23
  Speaker 8: Oh, man. So, yeah. Again, it's the holidays. It's free
• 1:26:28
  Speaker 8: on YouTube. What the hell are you going to do?
• 1:26:30
  Speaker 8: So I say, you know, it's like 16 minutes long.
• 1:26:33
  Speaker 8: Just go watch it. Anything else to round out Treevenge,
• 1:26:38
  Speaker 8: our short film feature here? Nope.
• 1:26:41
  Speaker 6: All right.
• 1:26:42
  Speaker 9: All right.
• 1:26:42
  Speaker 8: So now we're going to get to my holiday gift
• 1:26:45
  Speaker 8: to you, the listeners.
• 1:26:47
  Speaker 10: All right.
• 1:26:49
  Speaker 8: My audio gift to you is six to eight black men.
• 1:26:54
  Speaker 8: Are you not familiar with this, Marla? You have to be.
• 1:26:56
  Speaker 6: I don't know.
• 1:26:58
  Speaker 8: Oh, this is a story. It's written, but it's so
• 1:27:01
  Speaker 8: much better told. It's a story told by David Sedaris.
• 1:27:05
  Speaker 5: Oh, yeah, yeah.
• 1:27:06
  Speaker 8: About the origins of the Dutch Christmas story, and it's awesome.
• 1:27:11
  Speaker 6: You know, I don't want to cut you off, but
• 1:27:14
  Speaker 6: someone on my Facebook feed had been in, like, Sweden
• 1:27:17
  Speaker 6: or something like that, and it's, like, you know, everyone
• 1:27:20
  Speaker 6: puts on black face makeup and like, that's how they
• 1:27:24
  Speaker 6: rock out Christmas.
• 1:27:25
  Speaker 8: It's, it's a weird story, but it's so awesome the
• 1:27:28
  Speaker 8: way he's told it. And it really like, it has
• 1:27:31
  Speaker 8: become part of my holiday tradition. So I thought it
• 1:27:33
  Speaker 8: was kind of cool to share it with everyone. Cause
• 1:27:35
  Speaker 8: I mean, a lot of people may have heard it
• 1:27:37
  Speaker 8: if you're a David Sedaris fan, but it's still worth
• 1:27:39
  Speaker 8: listening to again.
• 1:27:40
  Speaker 4: Cause it's awesome.
• 1:27:41
  Speaker 8: Cause I, yeah, every year it's like, forget reading Twas
• 1:27:43
  Speaker 8: the Night Before Christmas. Uh, I sit there every year
• 1:27:46
  Speaker 8: and listen to six to eight black men. And, and,
• 1:27:49
  Speaker 8: I enjoy the hell out of it. Uh, last year
• 1:27:52
  Speaker 8: I was actually listening to it, driving to my family's
• 1:27:54
  Speaker 8: house for Christmas. And, uh, I got there and it
• 1:27:57
  Speaker 8: wasn't over. And I sat in the driveway until it
• 1:27:59
  Speaker 8: was done because it was so fucking awesome. I'm like, Oh,
• 1:28:02
  Speaker 8: just wait, just wait.
• 1:28:03
  Speaker 4: It's almost there. Oh God. Now that's Christmas.
• 1:28:06
  Speaker 8: All right, let's go in and have this family, whatever.
• 1:28:10
  Speaker 8: Christmas to me is six to eight black. So, uh, yeah.
• 1:28:16
  Speaker 8: And well, it should. So I, right so uh yeah
• 1:28:23
  Speaker 8: i figured it would be kind of fun to to
• 1:28:24
  Speaker 8: share that so stick around after the song and you
• 1:28:27
  Speaker 8: will hear the uh david's story in its entirety and
• 1:28:31
  Speaker 8: the song in question is actually one of my favorite
• 1:28:33
  Speaker 8: new songs of the season actually it is my favorite
• 1:28:35
  Speaker 8: it's you know, thanks, commercial America, for bringing it to
• 1:28:39
  Speaker 8: my attention. And screw you, I'm not flucking you still. So, otherwise,
• 1:28:43
  Speaker 8: come back and join us for this week's Sofa Theater feature,
• 1:28:45
  Speaker 8: Bad Santa, as the Fuck Me Santa holiday special continues.
• 1:28:49
  Speaker 4: Get ready to hear some curse words.
• 1:28:52
  Speaker 6: And nymphs.
• 1:28:52
  Speaker 4: Fuck me Santa, fuck me Santa. I'm gonna get it.
• 1:29:04
  Speaker 8: I know I'm gonna get it.
• 1:29:05
  Speaker 4: I can't wait. Every little step holds me closer to
• 1:29:08
  Speaker 4: the gift. Can't be late.
• 1:29:10
  Speaker 11: Rip it open in a second and it's time to play.
• 1:29:12
  Speaker 11: I was up all night in anticipation. Feeling electric jewels
• 1:29:16
  Speaker 11: of jubilation. You'll tie carols from the local congregation.
• 1:29:19
  Speaker 4: Make it tough to hold my patience in check.
• 1:29:22
  Speaker 12: Yep.
• 1:29:22
  Speaker 4: Is it morning yet?
• 1:29:23
  Speaker 13: Soon as the clock strikes.
• 1:29:24
  Speaker 4: I'm jumping out of bed.
• 1:29:25
  Speaker 11: Then I'm running down the steps and I'm laughing with
• 1:29:27
  Speaker 11: my sense.
• 1:29:27
  Speaker 4: I hope that nothing was forgotten. It's been a long
• 1:29:29
  Speaker 4: time on that list. Is it time yet? Is it time?
• 1:29:34
  Speaker 3: I can't wait.
• 1:29:35
  Speaker 4: Is it time yet? Is it time?
• 1:29:38
  Speaker 3: I can't wait.
• 1:29:38
  Speaker 1: Around the house sneaking, my heartbeat racing. Round corners peaking
• 1:29:42
  Speaker 1: with anticipation. Mom and pop sleeping, I think I'm going
• 1:29:45
  Speaker 1: to wake them. Bright lights blinking, colors are amazing. I'm
• 1:29:48
  Speaker 1: out in the toys and I can't wait.
• 1:29:50
  Speaker 4: Hurry up, hurry up.
• 1:29:51
  Speaker 1: So I can tear through the paper jackpot. Now I'm
• 1:29:53
  Speaker 1: clapping and playing with my big toys.
• 1:29:55
  Speaker 11: Little toys, how do I thank them?
• 1:29:57
  Speaker 1: I want to scream, such a fun celebration. Open up
• 1:29:59
  Speaker 1: the next one, I just can't take it. Toys everywhere,
• 1:30:02
  Speaker 1: we finally made it.
• 1:30:04
  Speaker 4: Everything I asked for.
• 1:30:05
  Speaker 6: This year is my favorite.
• 1:30:06
  Speaker 4: Is it time yet? Is it time?
• 1:30:09
  Speaker 8: I can't wait.
• 1:30:11
  Speaker 4: Is it time yet? Is it time? I can't wait.
• 1:30:15
  Speaker 4: Is it time yet?
• 1:30:16
  Speaker 8: Is it time yet?
• 1:30:17
  Speaker 6: Is it time yet? Is it time yet?
• 1:30:19
  Speaker 4: Is it time yet?
• 1:30:20
  Speaker 6: Is it time yet?
• 1:30:22
  Speaker 4: Is it time yet?
• 1:30:23
  Speaker 11: I can't wait.
• 1:30:25
  Speaker 4: It's making me sweat.
• 1:30:26
  Speaker 11: The atmosphere is thick with all the suspense. I'm all
• 1:30:28
  Speaker 11: up on my P's and Q's, just doing my best.
• 1:30:30
  Speaker 11: Looking like Saint Nick, so clean, so fresh. Can't give
• 1:30:34
  Speaker 11: it a rest Can't let up on the pressure I'm
• 1:30:36
  Speaker 11: out to impress All the energy is pent up Time
• 1:30:38
  Speaker 11: to express it Just waiting for.
• 1:30:40
  Speaker 4: The green light Right foot press Won't settle for.
• 1:30:43
  Speaker 11: Less Tis the season for the giving And I give
• 1:30:45
  Speaker 11: what I get This is gonna be the year That
• 1:30:47
  Speaker 11: we never forget I keep checking my watch Is it,
• 1:30:49
  Speaker 11: is it time?
• 1:30:50
  Speaker 4: Is it time yet?
• 1:30:51
  Speaker 8: Is it time yet?
• 1:30:53
  Speaker 4: Is it time? I can't wait.
• 1:30:55
  Speaker 13: Is it time yet?
• 1:30:57
  Speaker 4: Is it time? I can't wait.
• 1:30:59
  Speaker 1: My wedding toys are alive.
• 1:31:00
  Speaker 4: Heard them late last night.
• 1:31:01
  Speaker 1: I'm so impatient, but I've really been waiting. Toys all
• 1:31:04
  Speaker 1: around me. So many here, can't even count them.
• 1:31:06
  Speaker 6: All my wishes came true.
• 1:31:07
  Speaker 4: Hearts still pounding.
• 1:31:08
  Speaker 1: When I found them, I kept counting down. And so
• 1:31:10
  Speaker 1: tempted to open one, but didn't make a sound. At
• 1:31:13
  Speaker 1: the moment I laid eyes on them, I was astounded.
• 1:31:15
  Speaker 4: Look at all these toys. I'm surrounded. Toys galore. My
• 1:31:18
  Speaker 4: own toy store. Everything I ever wanted and much more.
• 1:31:30
  Speaker 7: I've been doing a fair amount of writing for Esquire
• 1:31:40
  Speaker 7: the past four years because it gives me a chance
• 1:31:42
  Speaker 7: to work with a guy named Andy Ward, who's just
• 1:31:46
  Speaker 7: a great editor. And this is a story that they're
• 1:31:49
  Speaker 7: going to, I believe, publish next month, and it's called
• 1:31:52
  Speaker 7: six to eight black men. I've never been much for guidebooks,
• 1:31:58
  Speaker 7: so when trying to get my bearings in some strange
• 1:32:01
  Speaker 7: American city, I normally start by asking the cab driver
• 1:32:04
  Speaker 7: or hotel clerk some silly question regarding the latest census figures.
• 1:32:10
  Speaker 7: I say silly because I don't really care how many
• 1:32:12
  Speaker 7: people live in Olympia, Washington, or Columbus, Ohio. They're nice
• 1:32:17
  Speaker 7: enough places, but the numbers mean nothing to me. My
• 1:32:20
  Speaker 7: second question might have to do with the average annual rainfall,
• 1:32:24
  Speaker 7: which again doesn't tell me anything about the people who
• 1:32:27
  Speaker 7: have chosen to call this place home. What truly interests
• 1:32:31
  Speaker 7: me are the local gun laws. Can I carry a
• 1:32:37
  Speaker 7: concealed weapon? And if so, under what circumstances? What's the
• 1:32:43
  Speaker 7: waiting period for a Tommy gun? Could I buy a
• 1:32:47
  Speaker 7: Glock 7 if I were recently divorced or fired from
• 1:32:50
  Speaker 7: my job? I've learned from experience it is best to
• 1:32:54
  Speaker 7: lead into this subject as delicately as possible, especially if
• 1:32:58
  Speaker 7: you and the local citizen are alone and enclosed in
• 1:33:01
  Speaker 7: a relatively small area. Bide your time, though, and you
• 1:33:06
  Speaker 7: can walk away with some excellent stories. I've learned, for example,
• 1:33:11
  Speaker 7: that the blind can legally hunt in both Texas and Michigan.
• 1:33:20
  Speaker 7: From an equal opportunity standpoint, I suppose it's only fair,
• 1:33:23
  Speaker 7: but still I find it more than a little unsettling.
• 1:33:27
  Speaker 7: In Texas, the blind hunters must be accompanied by a
• 1:33:30
  Speaker 7: sighted companion, but in Michigan, they're allowed to go it alone.
• 1:33:37
  Speaker 7: Which raises the question, how do they find whatever it
• 1:33:40
  Speaker 7: is they just shot? In addition to that, how do
• 1:33:46
  Speaker 7: they get home? Are the Michigan blind allowed to drive
• 1:33:50
  Speaker 7: as well? I ask about guns not because I want
• 1:33:56
  Speaker 7: one of my own, but because the answers vary so
• 1:33:59
  Speaker 7: widely from state to state. In a country that's become
• 1:34:02
  Speaker 7: increasingly homogeneous, I'm reassured by these last charming touches of regionalism.
• 1:34:11
  Speaker 7: Guns aren't really an issue in Europe, so when traveling abroad,
• 1:34:14
  Speaker 7: my first question usually relates to barnyard animals. what do
• 1:34:19
  Speaker 7: your roosters say is a good icebreaker. As every country
• 1:34:25
  Speaker 7: has its own unique interpretation. In Germany, where dogs bark, vow, vow,
• 1:34:31
  Speaker 7: and both the frog and the duck say quack, the
• 1:34:34
  Speaker 7: rooster greets the dawn with a hearty kikariki. Grecian roosters
• 1:34:41
  Speaker 7: crow kiriaki, and in France they scream cocorico. which sounds
• 1:34:47
  Speaker 7: like an order for one of those horrible pre-mixed cocktails.
• 1:34:50
  Speaker 4: With a pirate on the label.
• 1:34:54
  Speaker 7: When told that an American rooster says cock-a-doodle-doo, my hosts
• 1:34:58
  Speaker 7: look at me with disbelief and pity. When do you
• 1:35:06
  Speaker 7: open your Christmas presents is another good question, as I
• 1:35:09
  Speaker 7: think it explains a lot about national character. People who
• 1:35:13
  Speaker 7: traditionally open gifts on Christmas Eve seem a bit more
• 1:35:16
  Speaker 7: pious and family-oriented than those who wait until Christmas morning.
• 1:35:20
  Speaker 7: They go to Mass, open presents, eat a late meal,
• 1:35:24
  Speaker 7: return to church the following morning, and devote the rest
• 1:35:28
  Speaker 7: of the day to eating another big meal. Gifts are
• 1:35:31
  Speaker 7: generally reserved for children, and the parents tend not to
• 1:35:34
  Speaker 7: go overboard. It's nothing I'd want for myself, But I
• 1:35:42
  Speaker 7: suppose it's fine for those who prefer food and family
• 1:35:45
  Speaker 7: to things of real value. In France and Germany, gifts
• 1:35:54
  Speaker 7: are exchanged on Christmas Eve, while in the Netherlands, the
• 1:35:57
  Speaker 7: children open their presents on December 5th, in celebration of St.
• 1:36:01
  Speaker 7: Nicholas Day. It sounded sort of quaint until I spoke
• 1:36:05
  Speaker 7: to a man named Oskar. who filled me in on
• 1:36:07
  Speaker 7: a few of the details as we walked from my
• 1:36:10
  Speaker 7: hotel to the Amsterdam train station. Unlike the jolly obese
• 1:36:14
  Speaker 7: American Santa, St. Nicholas is painfully thin in dresses not
• 1:36:18
  Speaker 7: unlike the Pope, topping his robes with a tall hat
• 1:36:22
  Speaker 7: resembling an embroidered tea cozy. The outfit, I was told,
• 1:36:28
  Speaker 7: is a carryover from his former career when he served
• 1:36:31
  Speaker 7: as the Bishop of Turkey.' I' m sorry,' I said. But
• 1:36:41
  Speaker 7: could you repeat that? One doesn't want to be too
• 1:36:45
  Speaker 7: much of a cultural chauvinist, but this seemed completely wrong
• 1:36:48
  Speaker 7: to me. For starters, Santa didn't used to do anything.
• 1:37:00
  Speaker 7: He's not retired, and more importantly, he has nothing to
• 1:37:04
  Speaker 7: do with Turkey. It's too dangerous there, and the people
• 1:37:07
  Speaker 7: wouldn't appreciate him. When asked how he got from Turkey
• 1:37:11
  Speaker 7: to the North Pole, Oscar told me with complete conviction
• 1:37:15
  Speaker 7: that St. Nicholas currently resides in Spain, which again is
• 1:37:18
  Speaker 7: simply not true. While he could probably live wherever he wanted,
• 1:37:25
  Speaker 7: Santa chose the North Pole specifically because it is harsh
• 1:37:28
  Speaker 7: and isolated. No one can spy on him, and he
• 1:37:31
  Speaker 7: doesn't have to worry about people coming to the door.
• 1:37:35
  Speaker 7: Anyone can come to the door in Spain, and in
• 1:37:38
  Speaker 7: that outfit he'd most certainly be recognized On top of that,
• 1:37:43
  Speaker 7: aside from a few pleasantries, Santa doesn't speak Spanish. Hello,
• 1:37:56
  Speaker 7: how are you? Can I get you some candy? Fine,
• 1:37:59
  Speaker 7: he knows enough to get by. But he's not fluent,
• 1:38:04
  Speaker 7: and he certainly doesn't eat tapas. While our Santa flies
• 1:38:13
  Speaker 7: in on a sled, the Dutch version arrives by boat
• 1:38:15
  Speaker 7: and then transfers to a white horse. The event is
• 1:38:19
  Speaker 7: televised and great crowds gather at the waterfront to greet him.
• 1:38:23
  Speaker 7: I'm not sure if there's a set date, but he
• 1:38:26
  Speaker 7: generally docks in late November and spends a few weeks
• 1:38:29
  Speaker 7: hanging out and asking people what they want. Is it
• 1:38:33
  Speaker 7: just him alone, I asked, or does he come with
• 1:38:35
  Speaker 7: some backup? Oscar's English was close to perfect, but he
• 1:38:40
  Speaker 7: seemed thrown by a term normally reserved for police reinforcement.
• 1:38:46
  Speaker 4: Helpers, I said. Does he have any elves?
• 1:38:51
  Speaker 7: Maybe I'm just overly sensitive, but I couldn't help but
• 1:38:54
  Speaker 7: feel personally insulted when Oscar denounced the very idea as, quote,
• 1:38:59
  Speaker 7: grotesque and.
• 1:39:04
  Speaker 4: Unrealistic.
• 1:39:07
  Speaker 7: Elves, he said, they're just so silly. The words silly
• 1:39:13
  Speaker 7: and unrealistic were redefined when I learned that St. Nicholas
• 1:39:16
  Speaker 7: travels with what was consistently described as six to eight
• 1:39:20
  Speaker 7: black men. I asked several Dutch people to narrow it down,
• 1:39:33
  Speaker 7: but none of them could give me an exact number.
• 1:39:37
  Speaker 7: It was always six to eight, which seems strange considering
• 1:39:41
  Speaker 7: they've had hundreds of years to get a decent head count.
• 1:39:47
  Speaker 7: The six to eight black men were characterized as personal
• 1:39:49
  Speaker 7: slaves until the mid 1950s when the political climate changed
• 1:39:54
  Speaker 7: and it was decided that instead of being slaves, they
• 1:39:56
  Speaker 7: were just good friends. I think history has proven that
• 1:40:05
  Speaker 7: something usually comes between slavery and friendship. A period of
• 1:40:11
  Speaker 7: time marked not by cookies and quiet hours by the
• 1:40:14
  Speaker 7: fire but by bloodshed and mutual hostility. They have such
• 1:40:20
  Speaker 7: violence in the Netherlands but rather than duking it out
• 1:40:23
  Speaker 7: amongst one another Santa and his former slaves decided to
• 1:40:26
  Speaker 7: take it out on the public. In the early years
• 1:40:29
  Speaker 7: if a child was naughty St. Nicholas and the six
• 1:40:32
  Speaker 7: to eight black men would beat him with what Oscar
• 1:40:36
  Speaker 7: described as the small branch of a tree.
• 1:40:42
  Speaker 4: A switch?
• 1:40:44
  Speaker 7: Yeah, he said, that's it. They'd kick him and beat
• 1:40:47
  Speaker 7: him with a switch. Then if the youngster was really bad,
• 1:40:52
  Speaker 7: they'd put him in a sack and take him back
• 1:40:54
  Speaker 7: to Spain. Wait a minute, St. Nicholas would kick you? Well,
• 1:41:03
  Speaker 7: not anymore, Oscar said. Now he just pretends to kick you.
• 1:41:10
  Speaker 7: He considered this to be progressive, but in a way
• 1:41:12
  Speaker 7: I think it's almost more perverse than the original punishment.
• 1:41:17
  Speaker 7: I'm going to hurt you, but not really. How many
• 1:41:22
  Speaker 7: times have we fallen for that line? The fake slap
• 1:41:26
  Speaker 7: invariably makes contact. adding the elements of shock and betrayal
• 1:41:31
  Speaker 7: to what had previously been plain old-fashioned fear. What kind
• 1:41:36
  Speaker 7: of a Santa spends his time pretending to kick people
• 1:41:38
  Speaker 7: before stuffing them into a canvas sack? Then, of course,
• 1:41:42
  Speaker 7: you've got the six to eight former slaves who could
• 1:41:44
  Speaker 7: potentially go off at any moment. This, I think, is
• 1:41:51
  Speaker 7: the greatest difference between us and the Dutch. While a
• 1:41:54
  Speaker 7: certain segment of our population might be perfectly happy with
• 1:41:58
  Speaker 7: the arrangement, If he told the average white American that
• 1:42:01
  Speaker 7: six to eight nameless black men would be sneaking into
• 1:42:04
  Speaker 7: his house in the middle of the night, he would
• 1:42:08
  Speaker 7: barricade the doors and arm himself with whatever he could
• 1:42:11
  Speaker 7: get his hands on. Six to eight, did you say?
• 1:42:16
  Speaker 7: In the years before central heating, Dutch children would leave
• 1:42:24
  Speaker 7: their shoes by the fireplace, the promise being that unless
• 1:42:27
  Speaker 7: they planned to beat you, kick you, or stuff you
• 1:42:30
  Speaker 7: into a sack, St. Nicholas and the six to eight
• 1:42:34
  Speaker 7: black men would fill your clogs with presents. Aside from
• 1:42:39
  Speaker 7: the threats of violence and kidnapping, it's not much different
• 1:42:44
  Speaker 7: than hanging your stockings from the mantle. Now that so
• 1:42:49
  Speaker 7: few people actually have a working fireplace, the Dutch are
• 1:42:52
  Speaker 7: instructed to leave their shoes beside the radiator, furnace, or
• 1:42:56
  Speaker 7: space heater.
• 1:42:58
  Speaker 13: St.
• 1:42:58
  Speaker 7: Nicholas and the six to eight black men arrive on horses,
• 1:43:01
  Speaker 7: which jump from the yard onto the roof. At this point,
• 1:43:05
  Speaker 7: I guess they either jump back down and use the door,
• 1:43:08
  Speaker 7: or stay put and vaporize.
• 1:43:15
  Speaker 4: Through the pipes and electrical cords.
• 1:43:18
  Speaker 7: Oscar wasn't too clear about the particulars, but really, who
• 1:43:21
  Speaker 7: can blame him? We have the same problem with our Santa.
• 1:43:25
  Speaker 7: He's supposed to use a chimney, but if you don't
• 1:43:27
  Speaker 7: have one, he still manages to come through. It's best
• 1:43:30
  Speaker 7: not to think about it that hard. While eight flying
• 1:43:35
  Speaker 7: reindeer are a hard pill to swallow, our Christmas story
• 1:43:38
  Speaker 7: remains relatively dull. Santa lives with his wife in a
• 1:43:43
  Speaker 7: remote polar village and spends one night a year traveling
• 1:43:46
  Speaker 7: around the world. If you're bad, he leaves you coal.
• 1:43:50
  Speaker 7: If you're good and live in America, He'll give you
• 1:43:57
  Speaker 7: just about anything you want. We tell our children to
• 1:44:04
  Speaker 7: be good, and then we send them off to bed,
• 1:44:06
  Speaker 7: where they lie awake, anticipating their great bounty. A Dutch
• 1:44:11
  Speaker 7: parent has a decidedly hairier story to relate. Telling his children, listen.
• 1:44:23
  Speaker 7: You might want to pack a few of your things together.
• 1:44:32
  Speaker 7: You might want to pack a few of your things
• 1:44:34
  Speaker 7: together before going to bed. The former bishop of Turkey
• 1:44:39
  Speaker 7: will be coming tonight. Along with six to eight black men.
• 1:44:48
  Speaker 7: They might put some candy in your shoes. They might
• 1:44:51
  Speaker 7: stuff you into a sack and take you to Spain.
• 1:44:55
  Speaker 7: Or they might just pretend to kick you. We don't
• 1:45:01
  Speaker 7: know for sure.
• 1:45:04
  Speaker 7: But we want you to be prepared. This is the
• 1:45:21
  Speaker 7: reward for living in the Netherlands. As a child, you
• 1:45:24
  Speaker 7: get to hear this story, and as an adult, you
• 1:45:27
  Speaker 7: get to turn around and repeat it. As an added bonus,
• 1:45:31
  Speaker 7: the government has thrown in legalized drugs and prostitution. So
• 1:45:39
  Speaker 7: what's not to love about being Dutch? Oscar finished his
• 1:45:44
  Speaker 7: story just as we arrived at the station. He was
• 1:45:48
  Speaker 7: a polite and interesting guy, very good company. But when
• 1:45:51
  Speaker 7: he offered to wait until my train arrived, I begged off,
• 1:45:55
  Speaker 7: saying I had some calls to make. Sitting alone in
• 1:45:58
  Speaker 7: the vast, vibrant terminal, surrounded by thousands of polite, seemingly
• 1:46:03
  Speaker 7: interesting Dutch people. I couldn't help but feel second rate. Yes,
• 1:46:08
  Speaker 7: the Netherlands is a small country, but they have six
• 1:46:11
  Speaker 7: to eight black men and a really good Christmas story.
• 1:46:16
  Speaker 7: Being a fairly competitive person, I felt jealous, then bitter.
• 1:46:20
  Speaker 7: I was edging towards hostile when I remembered the blind
• 1:46:25
  Speaker 7: hunter tramping off alone into the Michigan forest. He might
• 1:46:32
  Speaker 7: bag a deer or he might happily shoot a camper
• 1:46:35
  Speaker 7: in the stomach. He may find his way back to
• 1:46:40
  Speaker 7: the car or he may wander around for a week
• 1:46:43
  Speaker 7: or two before stumbling through your front door.
• 1:46:48
  Speaker 4: We don't know for sure.
• 1:46:51
  Speaker 7: But in pinning that license to his chest, he inspires
• 1:46:54
  Speaker 7: a sort of narrative that ultimately makes me proud to
• 1:46:58
  Speaker 7: be an American.
• 1:47:20
  Speaker 11: Do you maybe just want to open some presents?
• 1:47:24
  Speaker 6: No, no, no, no.
• 1:47:25
  Speaker 11: It's Christmas.
• 1:47:26
  Speaker 4: I just want to fuck.
• 1:47:27
  Speaker 8: This show is a production of Movie Meltdown, produced and
• 1:47:29
  Speaker 8: edited by Brian Renfro, with opening music performed by The Empires.
• 1:47:33
  Speaker 8: To help support the show, email producer at moviemeltdown.com for
• 1:47:37
  Speaker 8: ways that you can contribute or advertise with us.