Latest / ok storytime / My sister CONFESSED a crush on my husband…on my wedding day! -r/amioverreacting | Reddit Stories | EP3120

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My sister CONFESSED a crush on my husband…on my wedding day! -r/amioverreacting | Reddit Stories | EP3120 · ok storytime

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Angie.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: And this is Riley, your favorite OK Storytime host. And
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: we got some great stories coming up.
• 0:05
  Speaker 3: But before that, we have a quick two-minute break from
• 0:07
  Speaker 3: our sponsors that keep the show alive.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: My sister confessed a crush on my husband on my
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: wedding day.
• 0:14
  Speaker 4: This is not funny.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: My husband and sister had gotten along amazingly since he
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: and I were dating. Granted, he can be a bit
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: of a knucklehead sometimes, but other than that, it was fine.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: We got married in February of last year. Due to
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: extreme circumstances with his parents, who we are now no
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: contact with, the wedding was basically an elopement. My sister then,
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: on the already traumatic wedding day, decided to inform me
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: that she... had had a huge crush on my husband
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: while we were dating and working together. We all worked
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: at the same place. I was uneasy but brushed past it.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: Since then she has been, I kid you not, non-stop
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: pushy about being alone with him.
• 0:49
  Speaker 4: Touchy.
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: All the I have a crush things. And at first
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: I genuinely thought I was overreacting. Until I had her
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: daughter and my husband didn't come home until late. When
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: I asked where he was, granted I texted his phone,
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: My sister sends me a picture of them in his
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: car hanging out. I was livid because I texted him,
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: not her. I lost it when he got home. He
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: assured me there was nothing on his end, but I
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: was still obviously upset. By the way, this comes from
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: Zealous Ideal T6678. And if you want to submit your
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: own stories, go to the r slash showcase story time subreddit.
• 1:22
  Speaker 4: I'm Sophia. I'm Dakota.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: So let us know what you would do in the comments.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: Flash forward to now, June 2026. My husband and I
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: decided to renew our vows and throw the big wedding
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: we wanted, but couldn't originally have due to circumstances. Day of,
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: my sister is being so rude, and she again mentions,
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: this time to all of our closest friends, about her
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: former crush. My husband's best friend has pointed out to
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: him numerous times that my sister is clearly trying to
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: get with him, break us up, etc. She also walks
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: around half unclothed, dress how you want, but have some decorum.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: My husband and I had a really bad living situation,
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: so when he had to move immediately... We moved into
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: an apartment that my parents rent out while we save
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: for another place. My sister then also moved back in
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: and we share a common space, kitchen bathroom. Ever since
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: she moved back in, it's been nothing but trouble every
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: single day. Y'all gotta get out of there. We could
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: not be living with home wrecking sister. My husband enjoys
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: gaming in his off time, which is totally fine. It's
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: when he's up till 5 to 6 a.m. waking me
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: up or being loud that aggravates me. My sister recently
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: got herself a PlayStation and ever since then they play
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: together every night or almost every night until 5 to
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: 6 a.m. Even when I beg him not to be
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: up so late because we either have plans in the
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: morning or he's a grump when he wakes up. He's
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: gaming with your sister until 5 to 6 a.m.
• 2:50
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but like, that's just the gaming, you know? That's
• 2:53
  Speaker 4: just the gaming talking.
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: Y'all have a daughter.
• 2:55
  Speaker 4: Y'all have a kid. The game came first.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah. He's like, well, my daughter can't defeat the big
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: boss battle for me, so she doesn't really matter. Even
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: when I beg him not to be up so late,
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: when I first confronted him about it, he told me
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: she's just easier to talk to. That stung because every
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: time I asked about his day or whatever, he just
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: says it was fine and gets upset with me for
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: pressing more. Fast forward to now, the last week or so.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: They've been staying up till 5 to 6 a.m., and
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: I wake up to hear giggling and laughing after he
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: told me, just one more game, and he was gonna
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: go to bed at like 1 or 2. Tonight was
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: my final straw, because I had previously told him multiple
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: times how uncomfortable these late night sessions make me, and
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: he said he would put a stop to them. I've
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: said something so many times, I've lost count. He swears
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: to me there's nothing happening, nothing at all, whatever, but
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: whenever she and him are together, she's constantly trying to
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: make herself look more attractive. example pulling down her shirt
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: so her bra is showing or her pants so her
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: underwear is showing that type of thing last week we
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: bought a bed off facebook marketplace and she insisted on
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: going with him to get it i'm currently in a
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: high risk pregnancy and shouldn't be lifting but i wanted
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: to go and she would not let me he was
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: unaware of her insisting and when told they were going
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: to get the bed he accepted it well they ended
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: up being gone for more than two hours the meetup
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: was only 30 minutes away.
• 4:18
  Speaker 4: Okay, that's a perfectly normal amount of time to take
• 4:22
  Speaker 4: to get a bed into your car. You have to
• 4:25
  Speaker 4: drive 30 minutes away.
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: So like an hour total. I could see an extra hour.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: Maybe they stopped for coffee. Going somewhere for something without
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: telling me or my mom. We were waiting for them
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: to return to build the bed frames. And I was
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: quite unhappy when they arrived because my sister was giving
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: me smirks and sassy looks. But anyways, tonight I ended
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: up getting so angry that I went to go sleep
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: in our daughter's room. She had woken up at this
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: point and I lay there trying to convince her to
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: go back to sleep. I was upset because when I
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: left the room, my husband asked out loud why I
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: was so upset. And my sister, through his headphones, went, oh,
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: she's just overreacting. I'm cutting off my sister at this point.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: I'm saying, hey, if you want to stay here with her,
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: all good. I'm divorcing you. He ended up leaving the
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: game soon after and came to talk to me. And
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: I told him yet again how uncomfortable it makes me. Oh,
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: I'm tired of being woken up by this every night.
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: I feel like me walking out of the room and
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: getting so upset maybe was overreacting. But I honestly don't know.
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: He keeps assuring me nothing is going on, but I'm
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: still unsure. Am I overreacting? There is an update. But
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: what do you think? Is OP overreacting?
• 5:30
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, sure.
• 5:32
  Speaker 4: Yeah, sure. Let him game until six in the morning
• 5:35
  Speaker 4: and hang out with your sister who clearly just wants to, like,
• 5:40
  Speaker 4: I don't know, make you feel bad.
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: Has told you point blank that she likes your husband?
• 5:47
  Speaker 4: And your husband is aware that she said this, right? Oh, yeah.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: He must be because he said, oh, well, there's nothing
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: on my side. When OP said, oh, you know, I
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: don't feel comfortable. He's like, well, there's nothing on my side.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: So he knows that there's something on her side. I mean,
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: you have to be an idiot. Update. I want to
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: clear up a few things. First of all, my sister
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: is not single. She has a boyfriend who is actually
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: not a great guy himself. And ever since getting with him,
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: her behavior has worsened. She's also been a complete knucklehead
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: since we were children. She was always upset because I
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: had more friends than she did. And in turn, she
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: tried to sabotage friendships. So maybe I should have seen
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: this coming. Second, I know a lot of you said
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: I needed to grow a spine, a backbone, a pair
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: of balls, and I promise I'm trying. I did not
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: truly think it was this bad until now. Third, I
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: actually am going to show him this post because if
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: he truly is just clueless and trying to be a
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: good brother-in-law, the comments might help change his mind. We
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: do have a second update. Do you think they will
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: change his mind?
• 6:44
  Speaker 5: No.
• 6:45
  Speaker 6: Nope.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: I think the guy that spends all night until 6am
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: with your sister is not clueless. Update two. I showed
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: my husband this post and he agreed that it has
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: gone too far. He genuinely did not think it was
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: this bad. I asked him how he felt whenever I
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: told him it made me uncomfortable. He said sad because
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: he wanted to fix it but just wasn't Quite sure how.
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: But from now on, there will be no more late
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: night gaming sessions. And if there are, I'm leaving. I
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: stated that clearly. What do you think OP should do?
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: Should she stay? Should she go? Do you believe, husband?
• 7:17
  Speaker 4: I think. Therefore, I am.
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: Ah, little Renee.
• 7:21
  Speaker 4: Renee in those carts.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: Renee rap.
• 7:24
  Speaker 4: I don't know, dude. Challenge your sister to a wrestling match.
• 7:27
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: Whoever wins gets... Your husband.
• 7:30
  Speaker 4: Like this needs to be fought in a physical arena.
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: I think you need to face her head on.
• 7:35
  Speaker 4: I agree.
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: I think she's gotten away with too much for too
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: long because she knows that you'll just let it happen.
• 7:41
  Speaker 4: Yeah. You need to do a top rope elbow drop.
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: You need to do like Wii sports fencing against your sister.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: OP continues, my parents are involved and my sister will
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: be dealt with in due time, if not immediately. How
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: she will be dealt with, I don't know. But it
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: is nice to know I'm not overreacting or crazy. He
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: also admitted that he just felt bad because my sister
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: always says she has no friends. His best friend even
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: ended up getting involved and said something to him along
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: the lines of, you have a wife and child. And
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: you're allowing your sister-in-law to act like this? The minute
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: we move out, I'm going low contact with my sister.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: The only reason I haven't is because one, we still
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: live together, sort of. And two, it would break my
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: mother's heart. It's also breaking her heart that one of
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: her daughters has the audacity to try and sleep with
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: her other daughter's husband.
• 8:24
  Speaker 4: Okay, but like you say that, but there's no real
• 8:27
  Speaker 4: evidence that that's even happened.
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: That she's trying to sleep with.
• 8:30
  Speaker 4: Yeah, there's just evidence that like she's spending time with him.
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: My husband has also told me numerous times before that
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: the way my sister dresses and pushes herself around makes
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: him uncomfortable. And anytime we've said anything to her, she
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: just rolls her eyes and gets annoyed. That's the end
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: of the story. But I would like to draw your
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: eyes to when he told his wife that her sister
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: is just easier to talk to.
• 8:52
  Speaker 4: I was thinking about that. Yeah. I mean, maybe his
• 8:55
  Speaker 4: sister-in-law is a vibe.
• 8:57
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 8:57
  Speaker 4: But also OP knows that underneath that vibe is I
• 9:02
  Speaker 4: want to sleep with you or your husband.
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: I'm just worried that even taking the sister out of
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: the equation, it doesn't solve the fact that your husband
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: doesn't know how to tell you about his day or
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: doesn't want to.
• 9:15
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 9:16
  Speaker 4: That's bad. I don't know. I get the sense that
• 9:18
  Speaker 4: OP and her husband are very different people. Yeah. And
• 9:21
  Speaker 4: I get I got a little bit of the sense
• 9:23
  Speaker 4: that OP could be hard to, I guess. The thing
• 9:27
  Speaker 4: that got me was after the, he was in the
• 9:29
  Speaker 4: car with her or something.
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: Oh, when the sister texted?
• 9:32
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 9:33
  Speaker 4: And then it was like blowing up at him and
• 9:35
  Speaker 4: he's like, what? Like, oh my God.
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: I could see that maybe she was at a, you know,
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: a point, a breaking point where this had constantly been happening.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: But let's see. We'll see. We don't know how their
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: relationship is. Maybe they'll get to the renewal of the
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: vows later.
• 9:50
  Speaker 4: Maybe they'll have another kid and that'll fix it. Yeah.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: Just add one more.
• 9:54
  Speaker 4: I've always heard that's the way to do it.
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: Just add water, they say. But that's the end of
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: that story. And we got another one. coming right up.
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: My husband spent my inheritance on his taxes. Now he
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: says I'm neglecting the bills.
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: Sounds like he was mismanaging them.
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: My husband makes approximately 140k a year in sales and
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: does approximately 15 to 20 hours of work in a
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: busy week. I make 40k a year, commute three hours
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: per day, and work 40 hours a week. I do
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: some part-time work as well that supplements my income, maybe
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: 3k a year. Anyways, we have a joint account to
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: pay bills and mortgage and personal checking accounts. I contribute
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: just a hair shy of half of the monthly expenses.
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: Dang.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: Half and you make 40K?
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: That's impressive.
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: I spend approximately $ 600 per month getting to and from work.
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: So I am usually a little in the red each month.
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: Last night we went to a warehouse sale. I had
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: sold some belongings online and was using my funds to
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: treat myself. My husband was in the area looking at
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: a new motorcycle to purchase. He bought one earlier in
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: the year for 20k and now wants a track bike
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: for 5k. I am always encouraging of his hobbies so
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: I'm excited as he tells me about his new bike.
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: When I start asking him about other costs he turns
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: the conversation to our joint experience. account and says I
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: notice you've been neglecting it it's in the negatives I
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: calmly explained that I need to make partial payments over
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: the course of the month and unfortunately my pay schedule
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: falls just behind the mortgage schedule I rely on him
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: to make up the difference he's like oh well it
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: never used to happen I then explained that I had
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: put a large lump sum in a few months earlier
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: from my inheritance and explained that I had run out
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: now my husband used it to pay off his personal
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: taxes By the way, this comes from ConfusedWife1, and if
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: you want to submit your own stories, go to the
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: r slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Sophia.
• 11:37
  Speaker 4: I'm Riley.
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do.
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: So let us know what you would do in the comments.
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: I'm just really frustrated because I work so hard, and
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: he always wants me to make more money. I love
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: my job and my career and I'm happy. I feel
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: like it's never enough. Whenever I talk about work, he
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: always asks when I'm getting a raise. When I shop
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: for jobs, the first thing he wants to know when
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: I get an offer is how much I'll get paid.
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: When I have a bit of extra money, I'm afraid
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: to tell him because he thinks of my money as
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: ours and his money as his.
• 12:06
  Speaker 4: Oh! Uh, why?
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: Oh, because if you guys thought of your money as yours,
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: you would be writing this.
• 12:14
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: He gets to dictate vacations and going out because he
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: pays for it. And I simply cannot afford it. This
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: is not a partnership. It's really difficult for me. He
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: makes jokes like he's my sugar daddy. He's not your
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: sugar daddy if he's your husband.
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: Sugar daddies treat their baby girls way better than this.
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: Sugar daddies are like, oh, what do you want? Anything
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: for you?
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: Where do you want to go?
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: My money's yours.
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: Oh, you like that purse?
• 12:36
  Speaker 4: I got it.
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, this is.
• 12:38
  Speaker 4: You are in debt to me forever.
• 12:39
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: It feels like your immature boyfriend.
• 12:42
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: But I pay for my share and my own personal needs.
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: It really hurts my feelings. I've explained this to him,
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: but it doesn't seem to work. He buys motorcycles and
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: then tells me not to have two showers a day
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: because of the water bill. Or I should sell my
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: car I paid for. Because it's worse on gas than his.
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: And we'll use the money to buy him a new
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: one and I'll get.
• 13:03
  Speaker 4: His old one.
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: What?
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: Oh, wait, you'll get his old one.
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but he's basically saying sell your car.
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: So he can get a new one.
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: So that I can get a new car. Am I
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: a crazy spoiled woman or is he making me crazy? Update.
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: I spoke to him last night and here's what happened.
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: Earlier that day, I asked him about the money. He
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: agreed to do whatever I wanted with it. He still
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: seemed reluctant about it, stating stipulations about groceries and other
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: very basic things. I left that conversation feeling like although
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: he had given me what I had asked, it wasn't
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: coming from love or loyalty. Later, I picked a fight
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: because I had, with help of all you Redditors, convinced
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: myself that I should leave. So I sat him down
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: and explained exactly how I felt. I was honest about
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: wanting to leave because I was young enough to start fresh.
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: Do you think this approach is good?
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: The fact that she brought up leaving so quickly?
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: Well, it seems like she's been going through this for
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: a while.
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: This is also her first honest conversation. That's what gets me.
• 13:55
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: If her, if you go to a, this is a
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: little weird, go to a conversation, say how you feel,
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: and then you threaten you're going to leave instead of
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: actually talking about your feelings. I don't know why, but
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: that kind of rose me a long way of like,
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: why didn't we talk earlier?
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: I totally see that. It seems like OP didn't know
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: how to communicate effectively before.
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: Good point, good point.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: Which is not good. But yeah, I guess it comes
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: to a level of how much honesty do you want?
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: She is being honest.
• 14:21
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah.
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: Good point. You think she should leave?
• 14:24
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: Unless he has a huge change of heart and is like,
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: oh my God, I totally understand where you're coming from.
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: Those are the only two options. He had been feeling
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: the same way. It was such a relief for us
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: both to know that we had both been thinking the
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: same thing and it was okay. I could openly talk
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: about the crap that bothered me most and he was
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: totally calm and cool about it and actually agreed with me.
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: We both admitted we just weren't that into it. Now
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: we agreed to try counseling and failing that we will
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: split amicably. He has also realized that what we were
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: doing with money was unrealistic and in the interim at
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: least wants to make sure we have a community finance
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: strategy so that I'm not tight on cash and I
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: don't need to ask for money. Most of all, I've
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: learned to not be a coward and be 100% honest.
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: I've always tried to spare his feelings and it was
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: costing me a healthy relationship.
• 15:08
  Speaker 4: Thanks, everyone.
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: So much.
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: So she just wasn't speaking up.
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think neither of them were being truthful. And
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: the second they were, it was like, oh, we're on
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: the same page.
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: They were assuming the worst of each other. Yeah.
• 15:22
  Speaker 6: Oh.
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: And that's what happens when you don't communicate, folks.
• 15:25
  Speaker 6: Yep.
• 15:26
  Speaker 7: And that's the end of this story. We're going to
• 15:27
  Speaker 7: read the next one.
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: I found flirty texts on my partner's phone, so he
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: made me the problem.
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: You can't turn this on me.
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: We've been together for about nine years now, and we're
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: going home with three kids, eight, three, and 11 months old.
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: It's hectic, and I am constantly feeling like I'm drowning.
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: He goes out every week or two with friends to
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: their houses or... out to a bar. A few months
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: ago I lost it as he stayed out all night
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: with zero contact with me all day long and just
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: waltzed in the next morning at like 10.30am like no
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: big deal. After some digging He said he stayed with
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: his uncle and I checked it out to be true.
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: Since he still goes out every now and then, I
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: am jealous he gets to leave and have a life.
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: I'm jealous he even gets to go to work and
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: socialize with adults. We only have one person who can
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: babysit the kids and they do so very reluctantly.
• 16:19
  Speaker 4: If it ever happens.
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: So he says it's just easier for everyone if he
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: goes out with friends. So we never go out unless
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: it's a super rare occasion. Maybe a week or so ago,
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: he stayed up all night drinking at home. I woke
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: up around 6 a.m. with the baby and the kids.
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: He's sleeping on the couch and he gets some text messages.
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: They display right in front of the screen. So I
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: saw they were from a woman and they were in
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: reply to something he had said to her. But weren't
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: exactly danging. Still, these texts are at 6am and he
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: was texting her at night while wasted. By the way,
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: this comes from Banana Jammas and if you want to
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: see my own stories, you know where to go.
• 16:59
  Speaker 4: I'm Riley.
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: I'm Sophia.
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: And Sophia and I are going to read this goofily.
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: If you have anything you'd like to add, please add
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: it down below. I pushed it out of my mind
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: until he left his phone at home while running to
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: the store the other day. I looked to see who
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: this person was and what they were talking about. It
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: was a co-worker. Always the co-workers.
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: Stop it.
• 17:16
  Speaker 4: Stop it.
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: Focus on your job.
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: And seemed innocent enough until I scrolled up and saw
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: he sent her, did I slap your butt last night?
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: I was feeling the liberties. Or something like that. She
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: said she didn't remember. And she didn't care if he did.
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: Husband comes home and I am in a mess. He's
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: pissed about me going through his phone. He says he
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: doesn't feel like spending the energy trying to defend himself
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: because nothing happened and it was just a joke. like
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: how he would smack guys' butts.
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: Yes, that's the same thing.
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: I smack guys' butts all the time, and we never
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: text about it.
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we don't go, did I smack your butt yesterday?
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: Because they usually know.
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: Ultimately, he turned it around enough so that I was
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: the one trying to explain myself why I was going
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: through his phone, why I don't trust him and what
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: is wrong with me. Then he starts to guilt trip
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: me like I'm going to act like this. He will
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: just never go out again. It's been three or more
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: days since this happened and I have hardly spoken to
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: him since. He knows I'm upset but hasn't tried to
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: talk to me or ask me what is bothering me.
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: The idea that he's out getting wasted with coworkers and
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: slapping some girl's butt or thinking he slapped her butt.
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: Completely disgusts me. I mean, if I was there with him,
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: would he have done that?
• 18:34
  Speaker 5: No.
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: I just have no idea how to proceed from here.
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: What do you guys think?
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: Ooh, sounds like you've got a little man, baby.
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: The butt slapping thing's not that big of a deal.
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: He's the type of guy where he slaps everybody's butt
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: and he checks in with them.
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: It's like, hey, did I slap your butt? Sorry about that.
• 18:49
  Speaker 4: I don't even remember.
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: It's just, you know, can't keep his hands to himself.
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: And he has short-term memory loss.
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not his fault. It's not his fault he
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: leaves his wife and kids at home all the time
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: and never lets her have a break.
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: He just forgot he had that.
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: He's like, wait, I have kids.
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: Update. I'm really, really, truly thankful for everyone who has commented.
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: And I haven't gone through everything, but... I do have
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: an update. I got a bottle of wine to sit
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: and talk with him about the issues today. In a nutshell,
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: says this girl is one of the guys and it
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: was not flirtatious or or anything like that.
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: I mean, the real issue here is that he's never home.
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: He agrees that I need my own time out. Says
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: he will watch the kids. Made some ridiculous suggestion about
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: buying me a plane ticket to leave for a week
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: that he'd watch them. I laugh because that is obviously
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: not going to happen for many reasons.
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: He's like, yes, get out of town.
• 19:41
  Speaker 5: Leave.
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to have anyone over.
• 19:42
  Speaker 5: Leave.
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: He said the last thing he wanted was to be
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: laughed at and went to go pout in the garage.
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: I went upstairs. He eventually came. up and said to me,
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: do you really want to know what happened that night?
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: That was such a quick turnaround.
• 19:55
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: He slapped another girl's butt, someone he didn't know, just
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: some girl. And he was doing damage control by contacting
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: his coworker to see if If he had slapped hers too.
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: So he wouldn't have crap to do with when they
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: went to work together. I started crying. He sat down
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: for about two to three minutes of that in our room,
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: then went back downstairs to apparently finish his video game.
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: As I heard all the sound come back on, I
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: slammed the bedroom and that's where I am now. Edit
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: to clarify. I am a work at home mom.
• 20:26
  Speaker 4: Good.
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: He does not support our entire family.
• 20:29
  Speaker 4: Awesome.
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: I take care of the entire mortgage, the water bill,
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: the gas bill, the cable bill, I work at night
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: when the kids go to bed. That's why I feel
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: like I'm drowning. I have absolutely no me time.
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: All right, then let's drop him because he's not helping
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: you at all.
• 20:43
  Speaker 4: Agreed.
• 20:43
  Speaker 6: Bye.
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: That is ridiculous. That is crazy. Girlfriend, I hope you
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: figure something out.
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: Figure something out.
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: I'm so sorry, man. That's tough. That's the end of
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: that story.
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: But we got another one coming right up.
• 20:54
  Speaker 4: My wife and I agreed to a wild Vegas night
• 20:58
  Speaker 4: and now she wants me to move out.
• 20:59
  Speaker 6: What happens in Vegas goes on Reddit.
• 21:01
  Speaker 4: My wife and I have been married for eight years
• 21:04
  Speaker 4: and have two children. She stays at home with the
• 21:06
  Speaker 4: kids and I work. We went to Vegas on vacation
• 21:09
  Speaker 4: to get away from the kids.
• 21:11
  Speaker 6: Vegas was your option?
• 21:12
  Speaker 4: You didn't take them with you?
• 21:13
  Speaker 6: Circus circus.
• 21:14
  Speaker 4: Say here kid pull mommy's slot machine handle.
• 21:17
  Speaker 6: They won't allow you to do that actually.
• 21:18
  Speaker 4: I know they will show up immediately and be like, hey,
• 21:21
  Speaker 4: I know that. It happened to me.
• 21:23
  Speaker 6: It happened to me too.
• 21:24
  Speaker 4: Our agreed agenda was to drink a lot, and we did.
• 21:27
  Speaker 4: Hang out at the pool and generally be irresponsible for
• 21:29
  Speaker 4: the weekend. During our trip, we found ourselves at a
• 21:32
  Speaker 4: spicy dancer club, and it wasn't totally spur of the moment.
• 21:35
  Speaker 4: She had expressed to friends before we left that she'd
• 21:38
  Speaker 4: like to go to one again. We previously went together
• 21:40
  Speaker 4: before we were married. When asked if she'd get jealous,
• 21:42
  Speaker 4: her answer was something along the lines of, he knows
• 21:44
  Speaker 4: who he's going home with. The day before in Vegas,
• 21:47
  Speaker 4: I casually mentioned going to one and got the response,
• 21:50
  Speaker 4: that would be hot. And when I drunkenly proposed it
• 21:53
  Speaker 4: that night, her response was, okay. The point is, is
• 21:57
  Speaker 4: that we talked about it before.
• 21:58
  Speaker 6: And all parties looked like it was agreed upon.
• 22:00
  Speaker 4: And all parties looked like they were like....
• 22:04
  Speaker 6: Or so we thought. Dakota got himself a drink and
• 22:07
  Speaker 6: didn't get me a frickin' thing. Because he hates me.
• 22:09
  Speaker 6: I always ask him, when I go to the market
• 22:11
  Speaker 6: or anywhere, do you want anything? What did he do
• 22:13
  Speaker 6: this time?
• 22:14
  Speaker 4: It's okay. When we got there, I looked for acknowledgement
• 22:17
  Speaker 4: from her before any step was taken. Spicy Dance number
• 22:20
  Speaker 4: one asked us if we wanted a lap dance. I
• 22:22
  Speaker 4: looked over at her and it was a yes.
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: Done.
• 22:25
  Speaker 4: Then she came back and asked if we wanted another.
• 22:28
  Speaker 4: Looked back at my wife and it was another, yes.
• 22:31
  Speaker 4: Back room? The look was, no. Then my wife asks
• 22:35
  Speaker 4: me to pick the next one. So I picked one
• 22:37
  Speaker 4: that I knew was my wife's type. We got a
• 22:39
  Speaker 4: lap dance and then got the question if we wanted
• 22:41
  Speaker 4: to go to the back. Spicy dancer number two was
• 22:44
  Speaker 4: a lot freakier than the last one. I looked at
• 22:46
  Speaker 4: my wife and her face said, yes, yes, yes. I
• 22:51
  Speaker 4: knew it was a ripoff, but why not? By the way,
• 22:54
  Speaker 4: this comes from Car Sleeping Dad. If you want to
• 22:56
  Speaker 4: submit your own stories, go to the r slash OK
• 22:58
  Speaker 4: Storytime subreddit. Why don't you? I'm Dakota.
• 23:00
  Speaker 6: I'm Keon.
• 23:01
  Speaker 4: We're going to read this story of this poor man
• 23:04
  Speaker 4: getting finessed by dances of spice. We're going to have
• 23:07
  Speaker 4: our thoughts. We're going to say them. You get to
• 23:08
  Speaker 4: have your thoughts. You get to write them in the comments.
• 23:10
  Speaker 4: We get to read them. Everyone's happy. We love each other.
• 23:13
  Speaker 4: So we get taken to the back. And this is
• 23:15
  Speaker 4: where things escalate. They ask us if we want 15
• 23:19
  Speaker 4: or 30 minutes. I said 15, but my wife looks
• 23:21
  Speaker 4: at me and says 30. 30 minutes it is. We
• 23:24
  Speaker 4: ended up having three sessions with the same yayus nod
• 23:27
  Speaker 4: from her. I asked her to dance on my wife
• 23:30
  Speaker 4: and my wife asks her to dance on me. It
• 23:32
  Speaker 4: was a back and forth and the smirk on my
• 23:34
  Speaker 4: wife's face told me she liked it. I asked her,
• 23:37
  Speaker 4: what's so hot about seeing your spouse with someone else?
• 23:40
  Speaker 4: Her response was, because it's naughty. As the night went on,
• 23:43
  Speaker 4: my wife got kind of crazy. They each had their
• 23:47
  Speaker 4: hands down each other's pants and did stuff that a
• 23:50
  Speaker 4: guy would get booted out of the club for. I
• 23:53
  Speaker 4: got lap dances and rubbed my hands on her body.
• 23:57
  Speaker 4: My wife watched with a smirk and towards the end,
• 23:59
  Speaker 4: the three of us were all talking about having a
• 24:02
  Speaker 4: party of three. I told the dancer that it was
• 24:04
  Speaker 4: my wife's fantasy to do the deed with other people.
• 24:07
  Speaker 4: My wife whispered something to her and she responded with,
• 24:10
  Speaker 4: I'm more into two guys. Then it was over and
• 24:13
  Speaker 4: we went back to the hotel room. My wife was
• 24:15
  Speaker 4: very wasted. She threw up in the bathroom and passed out.
• 24:19
  Speaker 6: Aw, you helped her though, right?
• 24:20
  Speaker 4: She woke up the next morning and we made love
• 24:23
  Speaker 4: and spent the day hungover together. She told me that
• 24:25
  Speaker 4: she blacked out at the third session in the back
• 24:27
  Speaker 4: and asked, what happened? I gave her the details and
• 24:29
  Speaker 4: we went on our way. Later in the day, she
• 24:32
  Speaker 4: expressed guilt for how she acted with the dancer and
• 24:34
  Speaker 4: I tried to reinforce that it really wasn't a problem
• 24:37
  Speaker 4: for me. She said she felt better. Out of nowhere,
• 24:39
  Speaker 4: two days later, she asks me to move out. She
• 24:42
  Speaker 4: said that I forced her to go to the club,
• 24:45
  Speaker 4: and I told the dancer I wanted to sleep with her,
• 24:47
  Speaker 4: and all the money we spent was all my fault.
• 24:49
  Speaker 6: No.
• 24:50
  Speaker 3: No.
• 24:50
  Speaker 7: No.
• 24:51
  Speaker 4: No, no. Not true. Not true.
• 24:53
  Speaker 6: Do you remember what happens if Vegas stays in Vegas, honey?
• 24:56
  Speaker 4: I am 100% sure that these things did not happen,
• 24:58
  Speaker 4: and I refuse to leave and get another place, so...
• 25:01
  Speaker 4: Now I'm sleeping in my car at night because she
• 25:03
  Speaker 4: doesn't want me in the guest house. We've had rough
• 25:05
  Speaker 4: patches before, but it has always been grounded in some
• 25:08
  Speaker 4: fact that had an impact on her. Therefore, I had
• 25:11
  Speaker 4: something to work on. In this case, I completely reject
• 25:14
  Speaker 4: her memory of the facts, so I don't have any
• 25:16
  Speaker 4: starting point for a meaningful conversation to reconcile. I am stuck.
• 25:21
  Speaker 4: The question is, how do I approach repairing things with her?
• 25:23
  Speaker 4: I want to keep this marriage... I just don't know
• 25:25
  Speaker 4: how to have a conversation with her about this when
• 25:27
  Speaker 4: I completely reject the foundation her feelings are built on.
• 25:29
  Speaker 4: She refused his marriage counseling, so bringing a third party
• 25:32
  Speaker 4: in to help is not an option. It's all on me.
• 25:34
  Speaker 6: Well, that's... Ain't that just dapper?
• 25:36
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and we do have an update.
• 25:37
  Speaker 6: You know what you do? I know what you do.
• 25:39
  Speaker 6: You go, alright, babe, we're doing it hangover style. We're
• 25:41
  Speaker 6: retracing our steps.
• 25:42
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 25:43
  Speaker 6: I mean, could we go back to the spicy club?
• 25:45
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 25:45
  Speaker 6: We asked for that spicy dancer.
• 25:46
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 25:47
  Speaker 6: And she tells you everything that happened.
• 25:48
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 25:49
  Speaker 4: I think that is a possibility. I think you can
• 25:53
  Speaker 4: approach this by saying we we did. We did. Look,
• 25:56
  Speaker 4: I think you should approach it because clearly you based
• 25:58
  Speaker 4: on your recount, this was a mutual decision to go
• 26:01
  Speaker 4: to this place. And then she ended up lagging out.
• 26:03
  Speaker 4: But I think you should approach it instead as like, OK,
• 26:06
  Speaker 4: so what's really going on? You can tell me what's
• 26:08
  Speaker 4: going on.
• 26:09
  Speaker 6: Yeah, why wasn't this brought up to me earlier? What
• 26:11
  Speaker 6: has been going through your head for the past two,
• 26:13
  Speaker 6: three days of now this is all bad? It seemed
• 26:16
  Speaker 6: like everything was fine.
• 26:17
  Speaker 4: You know, it could be she's like, dang, do I
• 26:20
  Speaker 4: like women more than I like men? Or maybe she's like, dang, like,
• 26:23
  Speaker 4: I don't know, that weekend was like, maybe she didn't
• 26:26
  Speaker 4: like how it felt coming back home. And then it's like,
• 26:28
  Speaker 4: you know, you're back with the kids. And it's like,
• 26:30
  Speaker 4: that was wrong. I don't like that we did that.
• 26:31
  Speaker 6: Yeah, the switch up of the life, you know, the
• 26:33
  Speaker 6: actual lifestyle. Like, oh, that's not who I am anymore.
• 26:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so I don't like the person I was this weekend.
• 26:38
  Speaker 4: And she feels like it was because you guys were together.
• 26:40
  Speaker 4: Who knows?
• 26:41
  Speaker 6: The one thing could have been, oh, she was not
• 26:43
  Speaker 6: necessarily taken advantage of, but I was intoxicated.
• 26:46
  Speaker 4: And like.
• 26:47
  Speaker 6: I just said yes because, you know, that wasn't me.
• 26:50
  Speaker 6: That wasn't me.
• 26:50
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so I think just try to be understanding and
• 26:53
  Speaker 4: don't be defensive because... Just go, yeah. Because the facts
• 26:57
  Speaker 4: of the matter support you. Update. After a week of
• 27:00
  Speaker 4: long silences and arguments, we finally had a discussion today
• 27:03
  Speaker 4: where we sat down to talk about specifics. The thing
• 27:06
  Speaker 4: that started this off was me relaying to her what
• 27:09
  Speaker 4: happened the night before. I told her we each told
• 27:12
  Speaker 4: her that we wanted to... be with other... I told
• 27:16
  Speaker 4: her that we each told the dancer that we wanted
• 27:19
  Speaker 4: to sleep with other people. She interpreted this as I
• 27:22
  Speaker 4: said I wanted to sleep with her. She remembers the
• 27:24
  Speaker 4: conversation now and this no longer seems to be an issue. Second,
• 27:27
  Speaker 4: she feels like going to the club with another couple
• 27:31
  Speaker 4: is very different than going together. She had a feeling
• 27:33
  Speaker 4: of I'm not good enough all along the way and
• 27:36
  Speaker 4: said yes every time because she thought it was what
• 27:38
  Speaker 4: I wanted and I can understand that. The biggest issue
• 27:41
  Speaker 4: now is that she thinks I'm I'm gaslighting her and
• 27:44
  Speaker 4: says that this is what her father does to her
• 27:46
  Speaker 4: and she had no problem cutting him out of her life.
• 27:49
  Speaker 4: In her view, the following is gaslighting her and not
• 27:52
  Speaker 4: acknowledging her feelings, refusing to leave the house. She says
• 27:55
  Speaker 4: that she needs time to heal. Anytime I say I
• 27:58
  Speaker 4: want to have a rational conversation. Anytime I propose going
• 28:02
  Speaker 4: to a therapist. She feels like I'm saying that she's wrong.
• 28:05
  Speaker 4: She says that the part that hurts the most is
• 28:08
  Speaker 4: that in the last week I haven't done much to
• 28:10
  Speaker 4: try to repair or provide gestures. to show that I
• 28:14
  Speaker 4: want to work things out. How can you? Tell me.
• 28:17
  Speaker 6: Don't just say, get out, sleep in the car, you're
• 28:20
  Speaker 6: not allowed in the house, without this reason. Uh-oh, she's
• 28:23
  Speaker 6: internalizing a lot of these things.
• 28:25
  Speaker 4: This is mess. This is mess central. She wanted me
• 28:28
  Speaker 4: to suggest a do-over weekend, not cancel plans that we
• 28:32
  Speaker 4: had set up to do an activity together. Personally, I
• 28:34
  Speaker 4: have felt lost the past week. and have had no
• 28:38
  Speaker 4: idea how to approach her. Any ideas for ways I
• 28:41
  Speaker 4: can show her that I'm not her dad? I really
• 28:43
  Speaker 4: don't know what I'm going to do next. I want
• 28:45
  Speaker 4: to repair things with her and have some great ideas
• 28:47
  Speaker 4: from this comment thread. I'll update you when things settle down.
• 28:50
  Speaker 4: And by the way, I'm back sleeping in the guest house.
• 28:53
  Speaker 4: This was an offer she put forward. Also, she told
• 28:55
  Speaker 4: me that she's not discussing this life-altering decision with friends
• 28:58
  Speaker 4: and family because she doesn't come out looking good in
• 29:00
  Speaker 4: this story.
• 29:01
  Speaker 6: Did she say that?
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: Yep.
• 29:02
  Speaker 6: Gee willikers.
• 29:04
  Speaker 4: So I think, yeah, I think the problem is she
• 29:07
  Speaker 4: doesn't like the way that she behaved and she can't
• 29:10
  Speaker 4: really deal with it. So she's finding ways to make
• 29:14
  Speaker 4: it your fault.
• 29:15
  Speaker 6: And she can't say, and again, it's probably stemming from
• 29:18
  Speaker 6: her childhood with her father. where she can't say it
• 29:21
  Speaker 6: because probably when she did as a child, her father
• 29:24
  Speaker 6: would just say, no, that's nonsense or gaslight her.
• 29:26
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know. I gotta say, it just really
• 29:29
  Speaker 4: sounds like whatever she was saying when she was under
• 29:31
  Speaker 4: the influence, she was not ready to hear.
• 29:34
  Speaker 6: This can't be the first time it's coming up because
• 29:36
  Speaker 6: they have kids together. They've been married. There's no way
• 29:39
  Speaker 6: this is the first time where she's like, that's what
• 29:40
  Speaker 6: my father does.
• 29:41
  Speaker 4: Well, but she was also saying that she was, you know,
• 29:44
  Speaker 4: saying yes because she thought that it's what OP wanted,
• 29:47
  Speaker 4: which is, you know, toxic in a way. It's like,
• 29:50
  Speaker 4: because now you can't now then go and blame him
• 29:54
  Speaker 4: because you were unable to voice your actual thoughts in
• 29:58
  Speaker 4: a situation.
• 29:59
  Speaker 6: No wonder OP's like, I don't know how to approach
• 30:01
  Speaker 6: the situation because any way you approach it, she's going
• 30:04
  Speaker 6: to just deflect it or project.
• 30:06
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, it seems like at this point, the
• 30:08
  Speaker 4: only way you could approach the situation is to just
• 30:10
  Speaker 4: take responsibility for everything and be like, let's, you know,
• 30:13
  Speaker 4: have a different, let's do another weekend and let's move
• 30:16
  Speaker 4: on and move past this and we'll forget that this
• 30:18
  Speaker 4: ever happened. This is just a glitch.
• 30:21
  Speaker 6: Try, yeah, try and wipe it, but then be like,
• 30:24
  Speaker 6: I think we need therapy for both of us. Don't
• 30:26
  Speaker 6: say you need therapy. Because again, she doesn't like that. Say,
• 30:29
  Speaker 6: I think we should just have therapy. Yeah.
• 30:31
  Speaker 4: Say, I need therapy. Say, I need therapy and I'd
• 30:34
  Speaker 4: love if you came with me and we did it together.
• 30:35
  Speaker 6: Which is a kind of, it's kind of backwards, but yes,
• 30:38
  Speaker 6: she does need therapy for sure.
• 30:40
  Speaker 4: Yeah. But that is the extent of our advice in
• 30:43
  Speaker 4: the end of that story.
• 30:44
  Speaker 6: What happens in Vegas goes on Reddit.
• 30:45
  Speaker 4: What happens in Vegas ruins your marriage.
• 30:47
  Speaker 7: And that's the end of this story. We're going to
• 30:49
  Speaker 7: read the next one.
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: Hey, this is Riley, the host that can't really read
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: that well. We're going to get back to the stories,
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: but here's three minutes worth of ads from our sponsors.
• 30:57
  Speaker 5: I refuse to invite my mother's husband to my wedding.
• 31:01
  Speaker 5: Now she's boycotting it.
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: Ah, who cares?
• 31:04
  Speaker 5: I'm 28 female and I'm getting married in late November.
• 31:07
  Speaker 5: I'm really excited and already started planning and saving. Recently,
• 31:11
  Speaker 5: I've fallen into some drama about it. My mom got
• 31:14
  Speaker 5: a divorce from my dad when I was 19. I
• 31:16
  Speaker 5: was already out of the house and in college and
• 31:19
  Speaker 5: never really knew what that whole situation was like. From
• 31:22
  Speaker 5: what my younger sister said, it wasn't pretty. And my
• 31:25
  Speaker 5: mom and dad aren't on speaking terms. However, during college,
• 31:29
  Speaker 5: I met the absolute love of my life.
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: He's the best.
• 31:32
  Speaker 5: Man I could have ever met and the reason I
• 31:34
  Speaker 5: truly believe in love. Straight out of college, we moved
• 31:36
  Speaker 5: in together. So I never really went back home. However,
• 31:39
  Speaker 5: my mom remarried just over a year ago. And I
• 31:42
  Speaker 5: now have a stepdad. But I would never really call
• 31:44
  Speaker 5: him that. He's never been a dad to me. And
• 31:47
  Speaker 5: even during holidays, I don't really go back home. I
• 31:49
  Speaker 5: see my dad... Then go hang out.
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: With my soon-to-be husband's family.
• 31:53
  Speaker 5: I've had a few conversations with him, but he's nothing
• 31:56
  Speaker 5: more than an acquaintance to me.
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: By the way, this.
• 31:59
  Speaker 5: Comes from Jaded Weekend. 7819, if you want to spend
• 32:02
  Speaker 5: your own stories, go to the r slash okay story
• 32:04
  Speaker 5: time subreddit.
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: I'm Savannah. I'm Sophia.
• 32:06
  Speaker 6: I'm Keon.
• 32:06
  Speaker 5: We're here to give some good advice goofily, but we
• 32:08
  Speaker 5: don't have all your answers. So you're going to tell
• 32:10
  Speaker 5: us what you do, and we're going to tell you
• 32:12
  Speaker 5: what we would do. right now for my wedding it's
• 32:14
  Speaker 5: gonna be huge we have about 300 people already confirmed
• 32:18
  Speaker 5: and rsvp'd to my wedding and it's being held at
• 32:21
  Speaker 5: my fiance's family's ranch.
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: Ah they got money i was like where are you
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: getting all that money family ranch.
• 32:27
  Speaker 5: I've invited a lot of my family his and friends
• 32:30
  Speaker 5: and then when it came down to my parents i
• 32:33
  Speaker 5: got iffy i know that i'm inviting my dad Heck,
• 32:36
  Speaker 5: he's walking me down the aisle. But I know that
• 32:38
  Speaker 5: having my mom there is also just as important. However,
• 32:41
  Speaker 5: I just don't see the value in having my stepdad there.
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: For real?
• 32:45
  Speaker 6: That's the big problem?
• 32:46
  Speaker 3: For real?
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: You don't have to invite anyone at your wedding, but
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: you would be a little bit the a-hole if you
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: invited 300 people and you didn't give your mother a
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: plus one. That's kind of diabolical.
• 32:58
  Speaker 6: Have we heard anything bad about the stepdad? She just
• 33:00
  Speaker 6: doesn't have a relationship with him. And that's like, okay,
• 33:02
  Speaker 6: you're an adult. Makes sense.
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: If it were a small wedding, I'd be like, yeah,
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: don't invite him. You don't have a relationship with him.
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: 300 people. And you're not going to invite. Not even
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: from the standpoint of stepdad. You don't have a relationship.
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: Just from the standpoint of give your mom a plus one.
• 33:19
  Speaker 5: We already have so many people and nobody is really allowed.
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: A plus one unless approved. So I don't get why
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: I'd have to make an exception for him.
• 33:26
  Speaker 5: What did he do?
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: He's your mom's stepdad.
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: Husband!
• 33:28
  Speaker 3: I know!
• 33:28
  Speaker 4: What did he do?
• 33:29
  Speaker 6: Why do you hate this guy? I don't think he
• 33:30
  Speaker 6: did anything!
• 33:31
  Speaker 4: Exactly!
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: He didn't!
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: Unless he wronged you? Unless he, like, punted your puppy?
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: Invite him!
• 33:37
  Speaker 5: Anyways, when my mom received her invitation and saw that
• 33:40
  Speaker 5: her husband didn't get one, and I specifically... Said no
• 33:43
  Speaker 5: plus ones. She messaged me and we.
• 33:44
  Speaker 4: Began to fight.
• 33:45
  Speaker 5: She keeps saying I'm an a-hole for not letting her
• 33:48
  Speaker 5: husband come to my wedding and that having him there
• 33:50
  Speaker 5: is important to him. Which he doesn't even effing know me.
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: Sorry for cursing.
• 33:54
  Speaker 5: Just genuinely upset. Why does this practically random man care
• 33:58
  Speaker 5: if he goes to my wedding or not? Then she
• 34:00
  Speaker 5: brought up how my dad and his new wife get
• 34:02
  Speaker 5: to come.
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: Stop it.
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: That's crazy.
• 34:05
  Speaker 4: Stop it. Criminal.
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: Criminal.
• 34:07
  Speaker 4: Crazy, Opie.
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: So you're about.
• 34:09
  Speaker 5: To invite the bio dad and step mom, but only
• 34:14
  Speaker 5: invite bio mom and not step dad?
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: Criminal.
• 34:18
  Speaker 4: I get it.
• 34:18
  Speaker 6: It's the your wedding, your rules, but this is out
• 34:21
  Speaker 6: of pocket.
• 34:22
  Speaker 5: And I don't even know how she got that info,
• 34:24
  Speaker 5: and that to me is a whole different issue. Regardless,
• 34:28
  Speaker 5: my mom got really mad and called me a lot
• 34:30
  Speaker 5: of names, and we kind of had a falling out.
• 34:32
  Speaker 5: The last thing she said was that if her husband,
• 34:34
  Speaker 5: my step dad, couldn't come, then she wouldn't either. It's
• 34:38
  Speaker 5: upsetting because I do want my mom there. I just
• 34:41
  Speaker 5: could really care less about her husband, and I guess
• 34:43
  Speaker 5: I'm paranoid if things happen when my mom and dad
• 34:46
  Speaker 5: see each other again. I don't know when the last
• 34:48
  Speaker 5: time they saw each other was.
• 34:51
  Speaker 6: Ugh.
• 34:51
  Speaker 5: Anyways, this is long. Just Am I the a-hole for
• 34:54
  Speaker 5: not inviting my mom's husband?
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: The verdict is a-hole. Update.
• 34:59
  Speaker 5: When I originally posted this, I assumed I'd get maybe
• 35:01
  Speaker 5: three little comments.
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: Holy crap, was I wrong.
• 35:04
  Speaker 5: But that's okay. I've really read through every single one.
• 35:08
  Speaker 5: And even though it's hard to take criticism, it's well
• 35:10
  Speaker 5: needed and I know has good intent. My mom and
• 35:13
  Speaker 5: I had a great brunch earlier today and we really talked.
• 35:17
  Speaker 5: I laid out everything on the table about how I
• 35:19
  Speaker 5: felt and why I felt that my mom's husband wasn't
• 35:22
  Speaker 5: a necessity at my wedding. It was a hard conversation
• 35:24
  Speaker 5: I won't get too much into. Um, I really would
• 35:27
  Speaker 5: like to know why you're not getting into this. Like
• 35:30
  Speaker 5: she's leaving this man a mystery on purpose.
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: We don't know anything about this man.
• 35:33
  Speaker 6: Why does dad get to bring his plus one? Or
• 35:36
  Speaker 6: why does dad get a plus one?
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: I'm imagining that OP has maybe met this wife more.
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: And so she's like, well, I know her. But unfortunately,
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: I think it is still super unfair in mom's eyes
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: to see her ex-husband, who she can't even talk to,
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: getting to bring his wife and she doesn't get to bring.
• 35:54
  Speaker 5: The overall consensus of the conversation was about how my
• 35:57
  Speaker 5: mom's husband entered my life and how we just simply
• 36:00
  Speaker 5: don't know each other. And believe me, I heard a
• 36:02
  Speaker 5: lot about that in the comments and I get it.
• 36:05
  Speaker 5: I'm to blame for it. However, my mom also apologized.
• 36:08
  Speaker 5: Neither of us really makes an effort to see each other,
• 36:11
  Speaker 5: so no crap, I didn't know her husband. Anyways, I'm
• 36:14
  Speaker 5: currently making another invitation I plan to personally give my
• 36:17
  Speaker 5: mom's husband. I understand how much I probably also hurt
• 36:20
  Speaker 5: him in this whole situation, and I really want to
• 36:23
  Speaker 5: thank you guys for dragging me, because truly, it was
• 36:27
  Speaker 5: the only way to get it through my thick skull.
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: Bless all of you.
• 36:30
  Speaker 4: I like it.
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: There we go. I'm glad the comments knocked some sense
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: into her.
• 36:34
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 36:35
  Speaker 7: And that's the end of this story. We're going to
• 36:36
  Speaker 7: read the next one.
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: My father demanded my fiance asked for my hand because
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: of tradition. Well, I don't see the problem with that.
• 36:44
  Speaker 5: I feel like everyone does that.
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: So my fiance, 24 male, and I, 24 female, have
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: been together around three and a half years and recently
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: got engaged. It wasn't surprising to anyone whatsoever. My fiance
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: and I have been discussing getting married almost our whole relationship,
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: and me and my family members have actively been discussing...
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: loose wedding planning for almost a year now. We also
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: have been living together for almost two and a half years.
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: My fiance first asked me if I wanted him to
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: ask my dad for permission about a year ago which
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: initially I said yes to. I had been discussing wedding
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: ideas with my dad and he had brought up in
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: a light-hearted way that he wanted to be asked permission
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: which I responded to with don't worry I already told
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: him he has to ask you. Once we got closer
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: to the proposal my fiance asked me what I thought
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: would be the best way to approach my dad. Considering
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: they aren't particularly close no bad blood, my dad's just
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: a bit awkward to interact with. And we don't live
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: in the same city, so it likely had to be
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: a call or a text. I thought it over and
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: realized that tradition, in retrospect, seemed a bit... to me
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: and overly traditional and probably wasn't necessary. So I told
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: my fiance to not worry about it. By the way,
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: this comes from prestigious Newt3272. And if you want to
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: spit your own stories, go to the r slash okay
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: story time subreddit. I'm Sophia.
• 37:59
  Speaker 5: I'm Savannah.
• 38:00
  Speaker 6: I'm Keon.
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: And we're here to give good advice goofily. And if
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: you have advice, put it down below. I thought in retrospect,
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: considering I was raised primarily by my mom. My parents
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: separated when I was young, that if anyone should be
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: getting asked, I felt like it should be her. My
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: mom also doesn't really believe in the asking permission thing, though,
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: so my fiance didn't ask her either. She was aware
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: the proposal was happening, though, and was very excited for us.
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: When I texted my family excitedly to announce the proposal,
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: everyone was happy but my dad. He immediately started lecturing
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: me about traditional values and us being a traditional family.
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: He told me he felt I and my fiancé were
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: extremely disrespectful for not asking permission and not respecting my
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: family's role in my life. When I called him to
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: try and explain that I genuinely didn't think it was necessary,
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: he refused to speak to me and simply put me
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: on the phone with my little half-brother, 11 male, while
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: making comments in the background about... Who knows that she'll
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: even invite us to the wedding.
• 38:57
  Speaker 5: Yeah, no, that's rude. I think it's rude. She shouldn't
• 39:00
  Speaker 5: have just said that, like, because what was the point?
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: Why even tell him?
• 39:03
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 39:04
  Speaker 5: Why even say, oh, yeah, like, whatever. Or you could
• 39:06
  Speaker 5: have just been like, actually, I don't really think it's necessary.
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: Exactly. I do, however, think dad is reacting a little bit.
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: But I also think you do owe him an apology.
• 39:16
  Speaker 5: Yeah. I mean, I don't think he's overreacting. I think
• 39:18
  Speaker 5: that I would be disappointed, too. I'd be like, wait,
• 39:21
  Speaker 5: I thought we were now we're not.
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: Specifically coming from the standpoint of him saying, well, like,
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: this is our family, traditional values and life. like that
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: that being his reasoning rather than just saying hey I'm
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: a little disrespect because you told me you would do
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: it if he was coming from that only I'd be
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: like yeah absolutely I think that is a little overreaction,
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: but I still think OP owes an apology.
• 39:43
  Speaker 5: I think that because my family is very big into
• 39:46
  Speaker 5: family traditions and values and everything. And like, we've just
• 39:50
  Speaker 5: grown up very culturally aware of where we came from
• 39:53
  Speaker 5: and stuff. And so I just think that, I mean,
• 39:55
  Speaker 5: my dad wouldn't be like offended if, you know what?
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: I don't think so.
• 39:59
  Speaker 5: But I also never had that talk with him.
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: You know what?
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: I'm going to ask him this weekend.
• 40:02
  Speaker 5: Ask him.
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: But there's a little bit left. This may have been
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: the part where I overreacted instead of apologizing. I told
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: him over text, obviously not in front of my younger brother,
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: that calling our family traditional was a joke. My dad
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: had an affair, one of multiple actually, with a woman
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: overseas when he was with my mom and then brought
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: her to America, leaving my mom to basically raise me
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: on her own. I would only really see him on
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: holidays until high school, where I'd then see him after
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: school maybe once or twice a week. It felt like
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: an insane double standard to now claim traditionalism. It's now
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: been a month and I refuse to apologize and the
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: fight continues. I asked my friend her opinion and she
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: said her parents would have been upset too if they
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: hadn't been asked for permission before an engagement, which makes
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: me think maybe I wasn't thoughtful enough to his feelings
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: about the situation. I don't know. Am I overreacting? I
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: think he sucks. He's a bit hypocritical. His focus is
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: the traditionalism. I think she sucks because she said she
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: was going to ask him. She lied.
• 40:57
  Speaker 6: The fiance was going to ask him.
• 40:58
  Speaker 5: And she literally went back on a word for what?
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: And didn't tell him. Like no reason. And wasn't like,
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: hey dad, I've thought about it. It doesn't really align
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: with my.
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: You know, feelings, you know. Like, just didn't say anything
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: and was like, oh, guys, guess what?
• 41:11
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: He's like, wait, you told me, you told me, but
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: I think that is a little a-holy. So I think
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: everyone sucks here.
• 41:19
  Speaker 5: I will agree with the verdict.
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: Would you guys, well, actually, I'll ask two questions. If
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: you are married, did your partner ask your parents? And
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: if you aren't married, do you want or will you?
• 41:32
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 41:33
  Speaker 6: Will you marry us?
• 41:35
  Speaker 7: And that's the end of this story. We're going to
• 41:36
  Speaker 7: read the next one.
• 41:37
  Speaker 5: My in-laws drive seven hours for free babysitting, so I
• 41:42
  Speaker 5: finally spoke up.
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: Who's babysitting who?
• 41:44
  Speaker 5: My brother-in-law and his girlfriend have three young children. They
• 41:47
  Speaker 5: have a nanny during the week, but frequently rely on
• 41:50
  Speaker 5: my in-laws, who live three and a half hours away
• 41:53
  Speaker 5: for childcare. Her own parents live only an hour away,
• 41:56
  Speaker 5: but are not asked for help nearly as often because
• 41:59
  Speaker 5: she says they get overwhelmed by the kids. My in-laws
• 42:02
  Speaker 5: have privately told my husband and me that they have
• 42:05
  Speaker 5: felt disrespected by some of the asks and obligated to
• 42:09
  Speaker 5: help because they're worried she'll make their son's life difficult
• 42:12
  Speaker 5: if they leave them to fend for themselves. Some examples
• 42:15
  Speaker 5: include asking my stepfather-in-law to make a separate seven-hour round
• 42:20
  Speaker 5: trip the night before their kid's birthday party and my
• 42:24
  Speaker 5: mother-in-law to make another seven-hour round trip the next morning
• 42:28
  Speaker 5: because they weren't both available at the same time. They've
• 42:31
  Speaker 5: also been asked to drive down to babysit for date
• 42:34
  Speaker 5: nights and stay the entire weekend or have driven there
• 42:38
  Speaker 5: only to find they weren't really needed.
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: Oh, the second that I find out that I've driven
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: for absolutely nothing, I'm never coming back.
• 42:45
  Speaker 5: We have asked them to address it directly, but they
• 42:48
  Speaker 5: want to avoid confrontation. She also asked my brother-in-law to
• 42:51
  Speaker 5: convince his bio dad to move to their city to
• 42:54
  Speaker 5: be closer to his grandkids. And she said he doesn't
• 42:57
  Speaker 5: like to ask. So she asked me and my husband
• 43:00
  Speaker 5: to ask. Their dad said he would move to our
• 43:02
  Speaker 5: state on his own time to be close to us,
• 43:05
  Speaker 5: but wanted to live in a city of his choice
• 43:07
  Speaker 5: and didn't want to relocate to their city just to
• 43:10
  Speaker 5: be a free babysitter. But I didn't tell her that.
• 43:13
  Speaker 5: By the way, this comes from SubstantialJello408, and if you
• 43:17
  Speaker 5: want to submit your own stories, go to the r
• 43:18
  Speaker 5: slash ok story time subreddit. Um, Savannah.
• 43:20
  Speaker 6: Hi!
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: I'm Sophia.
• 43:21
  Speaker 4: I'm Keon.
• 43:22
  Speaker 5: And we're here to talk about some stuff, get some advice,
• 43:25
  Speaker 5: and we're going to tell you what we say, and
• 43:26
  Speaker 5: you're going to tell us what you would do in
• 43:28
  Speaker 5: the comments. Last Christmas, while seven months pregnant, she asked
• 43:31
  Speaker 5: the entire family to travel to their house instead of
• 43:34
  Speaker 5: my in-law's home, where Christmas has always been hosted. because
• 43:37
  Speaker 5: she said she couldn't sit through a three and a
• 43:39
  Speaker 5: half hour drive with her pregnancy, which would have required
• 43:43
  Speaker 5: everyone else to pay for hotels or Airbnbs.
• 43:46
  Speaker 6: So she's just entitled.
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: Come on.
• 43:48
  Speaker 6: So she's truly just entitled.
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: Like, yes, she is pregnant. And I get that, but
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: they've been driving seven hours for you multiple times, many,
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: many times.
• 44:00
  Speaker 6: She's the type of person like, I don't feel like going,
• 44:02
  Speaker 6: so everyone come over here for your birthday.
• 44:03
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 44:04
  Speaker 5: My in-laws were not happy about that, and we just
• 44:07
  Speaker 5: hosted at their house as usual. A month ago, I
• 44:10
  Speaker 5: asked whether they'd consider backup childcare for date nights, and
• 44:13
  Speaker 5: she became defensive. saying they already had plenty of help
• 44:16
  Speaker 5: between their nanny, her parents, and my in-laws. Most recently,
• 44:20
  Speaker 5: they were on a four-day trip for a wedding, but
• 44:22
  Speaker 5: asked my in-laws to drive seven hours to pick up
• 44:25
  Speaker 5: the kids, watch them for ten days. Then drive another
• 44:29
  Speaker 5: seven hours to bring them home. I simply suggested they
• 44:32
  Speaker 5: consider sharing the driving or meeting halfway in the future
• 44:35
  Speaker 5: because it seemed like a lot to ask. She responded
• 44:37
  Speaker 5: with a long message of excuses saying they had an
• 44:40
  Speaker 5: early flight and she is always respectful of my in-laws
• 44:43
  Speaker 5: and that I hurt her feelings by implying she was
• 44:45
  Speaker 5: disrespectful and that if my in-laws had a real problem,
• 44:49
  Speaker 5: they would have told her because she's close with my mother-in-law.
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: Oh, and that's when you go, hey mom, you gotta
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: tell her.
• 44:56
  Speaker 6: You go, womp womp.
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: You gotta tell her.
• 44:58
  Speaker 6: You go, womp womp.
• 44:59
  Speaker 4: Sad story.
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: Yes, sister-in-law is absolutely being disrespectful of their time and
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: should just know that that's not okay. But to an extent,
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: she's right. The mom does need to step up and say, hey,
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: I'm not comfortable doing this.
• 45:12
  Speaker 5: I'm surprised by how defensive she became because my suggestion
• 45:16
  Speaker 5: felt very mild compared with what my in-laws have told
• 45:19
  Speaker 5: us privately. and it wasn't a direct confrontation. Am I
• 45:22
  Speaker 5: the a-hole for suggesting they share the driving or asking
• 45:25
  Speaker 5: whether they'd considered using a babysitter for date nights? She
• 45:29
  Speaker 5: ended up calling my mother-in-law and talking to her about
• 45:31
  Speaker 5: it and then calling me and being condescending. and offensive.
• 45:36
  Speaker 5: I thought our intentions were to clear the air, but
• 45:38
  Speaker 5: she just wanted to defend herself and say I don't
• 45:40
  Speaker 5: understand what it's like or that I don't have all
• 45:43
  Speaker 5: the details.
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: It's not my business. No, I don't have all the
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: details because I'm not in this.
• 45:48
  Speaker 5: In my opinion, it really doesn't matter what I know
• 45:51
  Speaker 5: or think because the fact is that the people who
• 45:54
  Speaker 5: are directly involved feel disrespected. There's a little bit left here.
• 45:58
  Speaker 5: Then I talked to my mother-in-law who said she appreciated
• 46:01
  Speaker 5: us looking out for them and she did tell her
• 46:04
  Speaker 5: that she was overwhelmed when she was there three weekends
• 46:07
  Speaker 5: in a row on top of work, and she had
• 46:09
  Speaker 5: brought up the example where my father-in-law drove seven hours
• 46:12
  Speaker 5: round trip to be there for 30 minutes, and my
• 46:15
  Speaker 5: mother-in-law was joking with me that she told my brother-in-law's
• 46:18
  Speaker 5: girlfriend that they think they live around the corner and
• 46:21
  Speaker 5: have no life. Overall, they are on good terms, and
• 46:25
  Speaker 5: they don't hate her, but they think she is demanding.
• 46:28
  Speaker 5: I have lost a lot of respect for my brother-in-law's
• 46:30
  Speaker 5: girlfriend because it seems like she has no capability of
• 46:33
  Speaker 5: handling the fact that she is perceived negatively, and all
• 46:36
  Speaker 5: she wants to do is defend herself and weirdly try
• 46:39
  Speaker 5: to rub it in my face how close she is
• 46:41
  Speaker 5: with my mother-in-law, and say that my mother-in-law would tell
• 46:44
  Speaker 5: her everything. I guess family events are going to be
• 46:46
  Speaker 5: a little awkward now.
• 46:48
  Speaker 4: Oh, no, oh, no.
• 46:50
  Speaker 6: The funniest thing is, I'd be like, hey, sister-in-law, would
• 46:53
  Speaker 6: you do any of this? Yeah, well, she clearly wouldn't. Yeah, yeah.
• 46:57
  Speaker 6: She wouldn't even drive down for holidays.
• 46:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 47:00
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 47:01
  Speaker 7: And that's the end of this story. We're going to
• 47:02
  Speaker 7: read the next one.
• 47:04
  Speaker 2: My mother-in-law says she deserves something special at my wedding.
• 47:09
  Speaker 5: Well, it's my wedding, so no.
• 47:11
  Speaker 2: Wedding planning is hard, and I'm about to body slam
• 47:15
  Speaker 2: my mother-in-law. My fiance and I specifically asked on our invitations.
• 47:21
  Speaker 2: For people not to wear white or green. As he
• 47:24
  Speaker 2: is wearing a green suit. And wants to stand out
• 47:27
  Speaker 2: fair and cute. And I have a fear of his
• 47:30
  Speaker 2: self-absorbed mother. Trying to wear white. Since before we got engaged.
• 47:35
  Speaker 2: Fast forward two months ago. My mother-in-law showing us dresses.
• 47:38
  Speaker 2: She wants to wear on her phone. And asked my fiancee.
• 47:42
  Speaker 2: if she can wear green to match him. I let
• 47:45
  Speaker 2: him decide if he was comfortable with it, even though
• 47:48
  Speaker 2: it's kind of weird that she asked despite us being
• 47:50
  Speaker 2: very clear about that. He begrudgingly agreed.
• 47:54
  Speaker 6: Oh, lame.
• 47:57
  Speaker 2: Test one failed.
• 47:59
  Speaker 4: Dude.
• 48:00
  Speaker 2: There's this whole like trope of guys disagreeing with their
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: mothers during this wedding period. And he failed the first test.
• 48:07
  Speaker 2: Then he got up to use the bathroom and she
• 48:10
  Speaker 2: decided she had another dress to show me. It's like champagne,
• 48:14
  Speaker 2: she said as she looked it up. And I just knew.
• 48:17
  Speaker 2: And sure enough, she turned the phone around and it
• 48:21
  Speaker 2: was white. She literally said it's like an off white.
• 48:26
  Speaker 2: Like girl off. My dress is off-white, thank you very much.
• 48:30
  Speaker 2: I told her the green dress you showed us was lovely.
• 48:33
  Speaker 2: And ended that conversation, because that's what you have to
• 48:36
  Speaker 2: do with people like that. I think she wanted me
• 48:40
  Speaker 2: to react, but alas, I don't give my energy to that.
• 48:43
  Speaker 2: At least public-facing, lol. By the way, this comes from LopsidedEar89,
• 48:48
  Speaker 2: and if you want to see my old stories, you
• 48:50
  Speaker 2: know where to go. I'm Riley.
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: I'm Savannah.
• 48:52
  Speaker 6: I'm Keon.
• 48:53
  Speaker 2: And we're going to read this story goofily. The everything
• 48:55
  Speaker 2: you'd like to add, please add it down below. I
• 48:57
  Speaker 2: had to break it to my fiance because he promised
• 49:00
  Speaker 2: his mother wasn't that bad to do something like that.
• 49:03
  Speaker 2: And I felt hurt by it. Thankfully, he believed me
• 49:06
  Speaker 2: despite having no proof because she waited for him to
• 49:10
  Speaker 2: leave the conversation and has been very supportive and protective since.
• 49:15
  Speaker 2: Two weeks later, she texted saying she got a dress
• 49:18
  Speaker 2: and refused to send a pic for a week when
• 49:20
  Speaker 2: I asked before sending a pic of the green one.
• 49:23
  Speaker 2: When my fiance re-asked for me, I was relieved and
• 49:27
  Speaker 2: moved on. However, last week we were at his parents
• 49:31
  Speaker 2: for dinner and she wanted to show me her new
• 49:34
  Speaker 2: dresses she got for the wedding because she wasn't really
• 49:38
  Speaker 2: sure the green one after all thankfully my fiance heard
• 49:42
  Speaker 2: this and follow us upstairs where he caught her pulling
• 49:46
  Speaker 2: out another white dress that she had actually bought this
• 49:51
  Speaker 2: time we both kind of froze and then left pretty
• 49:55
  Speaker 2: quickly but not before she said i'm the mother of
• 49:58
  Speaker 2: the groom and just want to wear something special to
• 50:01
  Speaker 2: his wedding i mean Your guys' wedding, Ella Mayo.
• 50:06
  Speaker 6: My fist is clenched like Arthur.
• 50:08
  Speaker 2: The next day, she texted me to ask what my
• 50:10
  Speaker 2: mom was wearing. And when I told her, she said,
• 50:13
  Speaker 2: I hope the dress I showed you yesterday isn't too casual.
• 50:17
  Speaker 6: She's got another? She's got a third option?
• 50:19
  Speaker 2: How much money does this woman have?
• 50:21
  Speaker 4: I don't know.
• 50:22
  Speaker 5: And all for, like, this wedding that isn't even yours.
• 50:24
  Speaker 2: It's her son's wedding. She's the mother of the groom,
• 50:27
  Speaker 2: mind you.
• 50:27
  Speaker 1: Okay, my mom wore one dress. And she got fake
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: bangs for it.
• 50:33
  Speaker 2: I just liked the message. And two days later, my
• 50:35
  Speaker 2: fiance texted her saying her idea to match was great
• 50:39
  Speaker 2: and that he wants her to wear the green dress
• 50:42
  Speaker 2: so they can look like a family in the photos.
• 50:45
  Speaker 2: Got to stroke the ego to remind her that we
• 50:47
  Speaker 2: already made an exception for her. I swear, though, that
• 50:51
  Speaker 2: she's going to go out again and find a white
• 50:54
  Speaker 2: dress with some green on it. And to be honest,
• 50:57
  Speaker 2: I'm going to ask the photographer again. to not take
• 51:00
  Speaker 2: pics of her except for one because that's hilarious to
• 51:03
  Speaker 2: wear the two colors we specifically asked people not to wear.
• 51:08
  Speaker 2: What is she on, dog?
• 51:09
  Speaker 5: I'd be like, do you think that you get special treatment?
• 51:12
  Speaker 6: Guys, mother of the groom. Better than everyone else.
• 51:15
  Speaker 5: That's what my mom was, but she never tried to
• 51:17
  Speaker 5: take the spotlight. She was there to support him. She
• 51:21
  Speaker 5: wasn't there to steal the spotlight.
• 51:22
  Speaker 2: I did say she was self-absorbed.
• 51:24
  Speaker 5: Yeah, my mom isn't that.
• 51:26
  Speaker 2: Our photographer is cool enough, and I really want an
• 51:29
  Speaker 2: annual reminder of it, because she's one of those Facebook
• 51:32
  Speaker 2: boomer moms that sends and resends memories every year. And
• 51:36
  Speaker 2: to see a pic of my husband with his mom
• 51:38
  Speaker 2: in a white dress, lol. I'm also tempted to buy
• 51:41
  Speaker 2: one of the white dresses she got and do a
• 51:43
  Speaker 2: fit change halfway through the reception, but I don't know
• 51:46
  Speaker 2: if I'm that petty enough for that.
• 51:48
  Speaker 5: See, the bride is allowed to make a costume change.
• 51:51
  Speaker 1: Er, sorry, dress change.
• 51:52
  Speaker 5: I think it was the same for my sister on
• 51:54
  Speaker 5: her birthday, her 21st birthday. She had all of her
• 51:57
  Speaker 5: friends come to my house. It was during... the vid
• 51:59
  Speaker 5: and she had an outfit change throughout. And then her
• 52:02
  Speaker 5: other friend had an outfit change. And I was like,
• 52:04
  Speaker 5: excuse you, why are you changing? And like my sister
• 52:07
  Speaker 5: changed into like, like she was like in like a dress,
• 52:09
  Speaker 5: but then she changed into something more comfy. This girl
• 52:12
  Speaker 5: was in something comfy and then changed into a dress
• 52:14
  Speaker 5: after it's like, what? All of her friends are jealous
• 52:16
  Speaker 5: of her though.
• 52:17
  Speaker 7: So that's weird. And that's the end of this story.
• 52:19
  Speaker 7: We're going to read the next one.
• 52:21
  Speaker 5: My sister secretly planned our dream Europe trip without me.
• 52:25
  Speaker 2: That's so sad.
• 52:26
  Speaker 5: My sister, Alice, 33 female, my mom, and I, Melissa,
• 52:31
  Speaker 5: 36 female, have been talking about going to Europe together
• 52:35
  Speaker 5: for years. This year, my mom is turning 60, and
• 52:38
  Speaker 5: my sister and I had talked about doing a big trip,
• 52:41
  Speaker 5: but our schedules wouldn't line up for something major this year.
• 52:44
  Speaker 5: So we agreed we would do the big trip next
• 52:46
  Speaker 5: year and plan something smaller for her actual birthday in November.
• 52:50
  Speaker 5: Alice told me over a month ago she couldn't do November,
• 52:53
  Speaker 5: but September was open and she wanted to go to Spain.
• 52:56
  Speaker 5: I told her I couldn't do September. I have a
• 52:58
  Speaker 5: major project going on at work, and even November was
• 53:01
  Speaker 5: going to be a stretch for me. Next year was
• 53:03
  Speaker 5: always going to be the big trip anyway. First week
• 53:05
  Speaker 5: of June, I texted her to confirm I couldn't do September.
• 53:08
  Speaker 5: My mom had told us we had to sort the
• 53:10
  Speaker 5: timing out between the two of us. Alice just said,
• 53:13
  Speaker 5: Hate that.
• 53:13
  Speaker 1: That was the entire conversation.
• 53:15
  Speaker 5: So I assumed we were back to the original plan,
• 53:17
  Speaker 5: the three of us, whenever it worked. By the way,
• 53:19
  Speaker 5: this comes from Calm Comparison 6525. And if you want
• 53:23
  Speaker 5: to spend your own stories, go to the r slash
• 53:25
  Speaker 5: okay story time subreddit. I'm Savannah.
• 53:27
  Speaker 2: I'm Riley.
• 53:28
  Speaker 6: I'm Keon.
• 53:28
  Speaker 5: And we're here to give some advice. We don't know everything.
• 53:31
  Speaker 5: So tell us what you would do. And we're going
• 53:32
  Speaker 5: to tell us what we do right now. Fast forward
• 53:35
  Speaker 5: to last night when Alice called my mom. My mom
• 53:37
  Speaker 5: was hesitant to pick up, but did it in front
• 53:39
  Speaker 5: of me anyway. Alice said, I'm buying the tickets today.
• 53:42
  Speaker 5: I asked what it was for and she replied, Spain.
• 53:45
  Speaker 5: I said, I can't go. And she said, what's that
• 53:47
  Speaker 5: got to do with anything? Turns out she and my
• 53:49
  Speaker 5: mom were still planning on going to Spain in September,
• 53:52
  Speaker 5: just the two of them, and no one told me.
• 53:55
  Speaker 5: I got angry and left the room. When I came back,
• 53:57
  Speaker 5: I asked why they had planned it without me. Alice
• 54:00
  Speaker 5: told me it was her idea and I could take
• 54:02
  Speaker 5: mom on a different trip next year. We went back
• 54:04
  Speaker 5: and forth and my mom finally got up and left
• 54:07
  Speaker 5: us to fight. Alice told me I was crazy, that
• 54:09
  Speaker 5: this had nothing to do with me and I was
• 54:11
  Speaker 5: being selfish for being upset at all. I told her
• 54:14
  Speaker 5: the plan was always for the both of us to
• 54:15
  Speaker 5: take mom to Europe and now they would get that
• 54:18
  Speaker 5: experience without me. She called me insane again. I told
• 54:22
  Speaker 5: them to have a great time.
• 54:23
  Speaker 2: Stop, she's calling you insane?
• 54:25
  Speaker 4: Yeah, what?
• 54:26
  Speaker 5: I mean, I feel like anyone in this situation would
• 54:28
  Speaker 5: be mad, because all three of you were supposed to go,
• 54:31
  Speaker 5: and now you just decided, oh, well, none of the
• 54:33
  Speaker 5: dates work for you, so we're just gonna figure it out.
• 54:35
  Speaker 5: Later over text, I told her that I am allowed
• 54:37
  Speaker 5: to have my feelings hurt. Not once did she acknowledge
• 54:40
  Speaker 5: that her actions may have been handled badly. You're taking
• 54:43
  Speaker 5: this away from mom. She said because mom wouldn't go
• 54:47
  Speaker 5: if I was upset. I told them both to go
• 54:50
  Speaker 5: multiple times. To be clear, I'd never actually get in
• 54:53
  Speaker 5: the way of my mother taking a trip. My whole
• 54:55
  Speaker 5: point was never cancel the trip. It was that being
• 54:58
  Speaker 5: completely left out of a plan, we'd all talked about
• 55:00
  Speaker 5: four years, finding out by accident because my mom happened
• 55:04
  Speaker 5: to answer the phone in front of me And then
• 55:06
  Speaker 5: being called insane and selfish for having any feelings about it.
• 55:09
  Speaker 5: Felt like BS. I wasn't asking to control anything. I
• 55:13
  Speaker 5: was asking to be treated like my feelings were valid.
• 55:15
  Speaker 4: Am I the a-hole?
• 55:16
  Speaker 2: No.
• 55:17
  Speaker 6: No, you're allowed to have your feelings. It sucks.
• 55:19
  Speaker 2: I'd be beyond pissed. I'd probably just not speak to
• 55:21
  Speaker 2: them in Milwaukee and says.
• 55:23
  Speaker 6: My family does this every year or like every other year.
• 55:25
  Speaker 6: They're like, want to go on a trip with us?
• 55:26
  Speaker 6: I go, no. Thanks for asking though.
• 55:28
  Speaker 5: I just don't like how they just like didn't even
• 55:30
  Speaker 5: consider her. Like they did at first and I was like, oh,
• 55:33
  Speaker 5: she's never going to find time to go. So let's
• 55:35
  Speaker 5: just go without her.
• 55:36
  Speaker 7: She won't be mad.
• 55:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you guys made plans. I think something that is annoying, though,
• 55:40
  Speaker 2: is whenever people cancel plans or say they can't do it.
• 55:43
  Speaker 2: They do not suggest other dates.
• 55:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 55:46
  Speaker 2: I have, I'm going to get on a soapbox in
• 55:48
  Speaker 2: a little bit, you know, right now. I have had
• 55:49
  Speaker 2: two separate people reach out to me. They're not a
• 55:51
  Speaker 2: part of this organization. They are friends outside of this.
• 55:53
  Speaker 2: And they have said, hey, let's hang out soon. And
• 55:55
  Speaker 2: I say, let's hang out this day. That day comes around.
• 55:58
  Speaker 2: I double check with them. Hey, can you make it?
• 56:00
  Speaker 2: And they go, no, can't. Why did you call me
• 56:02
  Speaker 2: in the first place saying you wanted to hang out
• 56:04
  Speaker 2: with me and then not even suggest another time?
• 56:06
  Speaker 5: I was actually there for that conversation because it does
• 56:09
  Speaker 5: discourage you. Like, it's like my sister does that sometimes too.
• 56:12
  Speaker 5: But the thing is, we don't actually like make plans.
• 56:14
  Speaker 5: We'll just like, I'll just ask her if she wants
• 56:16
  Speaker 5: to like come over. She's like, I'm not doing any later.
• 56:18
  Speaker 4: What are you doing?
• 56:19
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 56:19
  Speaker 2: So I think OP, what you could have done is like, oh,
• 56:22
  Speaker 2: November doesn't work. Sometime next year. How about February?
• 56:25
  Speaker 5: There's an edit here. Just to be clear, the original
• 56:28
  Speaker 5: plan was for the three of us to go to
• 56:30
  Speaker 5: Europe next year. We were planning on doing a smaller
• 56:32
  Speaker 5: trip in November this year for my mom's birthday. My
• 56:35
  Speaker 5: sister couldn't do a November trip so no plans were
• 56:37
  Speaker 5: made because all three of us couldn't go. My issue
• 56:40
  Speaker 5: was that instead of finding a time that worked for
• 56:43
  Speaker 5: all three of us, my sister made the decision to
• 56:45
  Speaker 5: plan a trip when I couldn't go. and to the
• 56:48
  Speaker 5: place we were all planning on doing next year. Instead
• 56:51
  Speaker 5: of communicating that plan with me, I happened to find
• 56:54
  Speaker 5: out by chance. In no way would I ever expect
• 56:58
  Speaker 5: them not to go because I couldn't make it. I
• 57:00
  Speaker 5: want my mom to go and have an incredible experience.
• 57:04
  Speaker 5: And I thought that experience was going to be all
• 57:07
  Speaker 5: three of us together. My original ask was, am I
• 57:10
  Speaker 5: the a-hole for being upset because they excluded me from
• 57:13
  Speaker 5: the trip with zero communication?
• 57:15
  Speaker 1: No, you're not the a-hole.
• 57:16
  Speaker 6: Your feelings are validated.
• 57:17
  Speaker 5: Yeah. They did it behind your back. And then they
• 57:21
  Speaker 5: have the nerve manipulate you and call you crazy and
• 57:23
  Speaker 5: be like, why are you acting like this?
• 57:25
  Speaker 2: You're acting insane.
• 57:26
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 57:27
  Speaker 5: Like, put yourself in my shoes. You would be doing
• 57:29
  Speaker 5: the same thing. Like, come on.
• 57:30
  Speaker 1: But that's the end of that story.
• 57:32
  Speaker 3: Hey, it's Angie, your favorite fashion host here. We're going
• 57:35
  Speaker 3: to get back to the stories, but here's three minutes
• 57:38
  Speaker 3: of ads from our sponsors.
• 57:40
  Speaker 2: My best friend dropped out of my wedding, citing a
• 57:44
  Speaker 2: rivalry I never knew about.
• 57:46
  Speaker 4: A secret rivalry.
• 57:49
  Speaker 2: Diane, 28 female, and I, 25 female, had been friends
• 57:52
  Speaker 2: for five years, and I thought of her to be
• 57:54
  Speaker 2: one of my closest friends. I was a bridesmaid in
• 57:58
  Speaker 2: her wedding last year, and she was supposed to be
• 58:00
  Speaker 2: one in mine this year. Things seemed normal. We worked
• 58:04
  Speaker 2: at the same company and had lunch most days. She
• 58:07
  Speaker 2: went dress shopping with me and got her bridesmaid dress
• 58:10
  Speaker 2: for the wedding. We got our nails done together regularly.
• 58:14
  Speaker 2: Her husband was super excited for our wedding, etc. Nothing
• 58:17
  Speaker 2: really felt out of the ordinary to me. Then in February,
• 58:22
  Speaker 2: she told me she couldn't be a bridesmaid anymore. I
• 58:24
  Speaker 2: initially thought it was time slash money thing, but then
• 58:28
  Speaker 2: she said it was because she didn't feel like our
• 58:30
  Speaker 2: friendship was in a good place. and that our lives
• 58:34
  Speaker 2: are going to be in different directions, and there was
• 58:36
  Speaker 2: too much rivalry between us.
• 58:39
  Speaker 4: The rivalry you didn't know you had.
• 58:41
  Speaker 2: I do have an ongoing rivalry with the comic.
• 58:43
  Speaker 4: And they don't know about it? It's more like, you know,
• 58:46
  Speaker 4: internal motivation.
• 58:48
  Speaker 2: Honestly didn't know what she was talking about. I asked
• 58:51
  Speaker 2: her what this meant. We were still friends. Was she
• 58:54
  Speaker 2: coming to the wedding as a guest? By the way,
• 58:56
  Speaker 2: this comes from MeMowCattyCat21. And if you want to send
• 58:59
  Speaker 2: me your own stories, go to r slash OKStoryTime subreddit.
• 59:03
  Speaker 2: I'm Riley.
• 59:03
  Speaker 4: I'm Dakota.
• 59:04
  Speaker 2: And we're going to read the story goofily with our
• 59:06
  Speaker 2: remarks on our knowledge. And if you have anything you'd
• 59:09
  Speaker 2: like to add, please add it to the story. it
• 59:10
  Speaker 2: down below. She said she didn't know, but still wanted
• 59:14
  Speaker 2: to have lunch once in a while. Told her I
• 59:16
  Speaker 2: couldn't do that. It felt too much like trying to
• 59:18
  Speaker 2: stay friends with an ex. If she felt so strongly
• 59:20
  Speaker 2: about us, then I'd rather not have half-butted friends like that.
• 59:24
  Speaker 2: So I deleted her number, threw out the trinkets from
• 59:27
  Speaker 2: her wedding, and such.
• 59:29
  Speaker 4: The rivalry is heating up.
• 59:31
  Speaker 2: So there kind of was something there, huh?
• 59:33
  Speaker 4: I mean, there is now. If there was an unspoken thing,
• 59:36
  Speaker 4: it's been spoken very loudly.
• 59:38
  Speaker 2: I would have had lunch with this person.
• 59:40
  Speaker 4: Or coffee.
• 59:41
  Speaker 2: Hey, let's talk this over a cup of joe, huh?
• 59:44
  Speaker 4: And you just go, oh, no, actually, I'm completely cutting
• 59:48
  Speaker 4: all evidence of your existence out of my life now. Oh,
• 59:50
  Speaker 4: if you're going to take it. Oh, we have a rivalry.
• 59:52
  Speaker 1: Great.
• 59:53
  Speaker 4: Thanks for letting me know.
• 59:54
  Speaker 2: It honestly felt like a romantic breakup, but I got
• 59:58
  Speaker 2: over it. Today, out of nowhere, she texted me a
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 2: screenshot of Facebook of a pic of my cat with
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 2: the toy she bought her since she was tagged four
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 2: years ago. It was one of those Facebook remember this
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 2: things and this text. I know you still don't want
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 2: anything to do with me, but that's cool. This came
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 2: up on my Facebook news feed and I thought I
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 2: would send it along. I almost forgot how little she
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 2: was when you first got her. Happy anniversary with her
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 2: because I know it was last week. I feel like
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 2: she makes it sound like I ended our friendship for
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 2: no apparent reason. I'm not sure how to feel about
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 2: this and just haven't replied. I probably won't. But I
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 2: was just feeling confused and maybe just needed to vent.
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 2: What do you think? We got some relevant comments. I mean,
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 2: Opie kind of did it in the relationship when she
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 2: threw the trinkets out.
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you did. You did definitely. I mean, it didn't
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 4: start with you doing that. And then she was like, what?
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 4: I mean, she did say that thing. And you went,
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 4: excuse me?
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 6: What?
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 4: Which is weird for her to say that as well,
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 4: your friend. That was a weird thing. You're like, yeah,
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 4: I don't know if I should be there because of,
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 4: you know, how competitive and because of our rivalry.
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 2: I just don't understand why there was no resistance to
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 2: keeping the friendship. That's baffling me.
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 4: Yeah, just it was an immediate like, okay, and everything
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 4: of yours is in the incinerator.
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 2: Relevant comments. Kat Kolo says, don't get sucked back in.
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 2: Opie says, I don't plan on it. I summarized it here,
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 2: but there was a whole week of her going back
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 2: and forth on being a bridesmaid and being friends. I'd
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 2: even pulled teeth to get the explanation that it did.
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 2: It was such a terrible experience that I'm never going
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 2: back to it. Love Bamboo says, you have every right
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 2: not to respond. While it's purely speculation, it sounds like
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 2: your ex-friend might not be there at all. Opie says,
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 2: I've talked to a few people about it. A friend,
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 2: my fiance, and my hairdresser, lol. And they basically said
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 2: the same thing. I think it's best to just ignore
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 2: the text. Update eight days later.
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 4: Look, be friends, don't be friends. But you definitely decided
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 4: to not be friends. That was your decision.
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 2: Where did this whole rivalry thing come from? Can we
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 2: get an explanation of that? I'd like to see that.
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 4: I feel like there's no way there's not some truth
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 4: to it just based on how you reacted.
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 2: Threw away the trinkets immediately. That's what's getting me. I
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 2: want to talk to the friend, though. I want to
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 2: see her side of the story.
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 4: Yeah. What's going on?
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 2: Was OP, I don't know, undermining you, friend? Dana, Dana,
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 2: what was going on here?
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 4: Did she think there's a rivalry because you were giving
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 4: rivalry energy? I don't know. All this is weird.
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 2: Hopefully we get our answers update eight days later. Hello there.
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 2: It's been a week and I have some updates. So
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 2: I figured I'd close the loop for anyone that was interested.
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 2: I honestly don't think we're going to get the answers
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 2: we want.
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 4: There are no loops being closed here. That's my prediction.
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 2: First of all, I'd like to thank everyone who commented
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 2: and helped me and got some sense talked into me.
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 2: There's a wake up call, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 2: I just thought I did something wrong or it was
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 2: a mystery. But as most people concluded for me, Diane
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 2: was having issues of her own and took it out
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 2: on me.
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 7: Oh, OK.
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 2: So shocker, I didn't text her back. I just ignored it.
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 2: I did get some insight today, though. If any of
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 2: you are curious, keep reading. So Diane and I have,
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 2: I guess should say, had one mutual friend left. Her name, Sydney,
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 2: 30 female. So a little background, Diane and I used
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 2: to work in the same department when we started working
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 2: at this company years ago and became friends. Diane would
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 2: eventually leave the department because she said she wanted to grow,
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 2: but constantly still tried to butt in and tell me
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 2: what to do. Last year, Sydney joined that department as
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 2: I was leaving, so three of us became friends. Sydney
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 2: still is in that old department now. So since the
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 2: whole new ending of our friendship in February, I've told
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 2: Sydney I'm totally cool with her being friends with Diane
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 2: and also stayed totally neutral whenever Diane came up. But today,
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 2: Sydney exploded to me over lunch about Diane and it
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 2: all came out. Dakota, we might be getting our loops closed.
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 4: We've got our explosion. We're loading up an explosion.
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 2: I am so glad Sydney is a part of your life.
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 4: Yes. Explode all of this all over us.
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 2: Pause. Apparently, Diane has definitely been feeling very insecure about
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 2: her life versus mine and has been going for a
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 2: promotion after promotion whenever a job opened at the company
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 2: and has been rejected every time, so when I got mine,
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 2: it was too much for her.
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 4: Something about a work promotion? Y'all even work at the
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 4: same place, do you? What's going... Come on, Diane.
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 2: She also apparently has been really upset about her weight.
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 2: She's a size 16... When I started losing weight for
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 2: my wedding, I was a size 6 when I got
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 2: engaged and now a size 2. She was also upset.
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 4: Well, comparison is the thief of joy.
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 2: She's also upset that I bought a bigger house and
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 2: a new car paid in full this year. So why
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 2: did Sydney tell me all this? Apparently, Diane has been
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 2: butting into Sydney's work and also been criticizing everything Sydney does.
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 2: Her diet, her dating life, her dog, and Sydney... finally
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 2: had enough and cut Diane out and wanted to vent
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 2: all of this to me since she knew Diane and
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 2: I also stopped being friends. And we got some more
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 2: left here. We got some final comments. So Diane saw
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 2: the competition, but OP was just living her best life.
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 4: Yeah, OP's just up. OP's up and Diane couldn't handle it.
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 4: And then OP immediately said, okay, light it on fire.
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, this is giving me all the context I need
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 2: to know about this friendship. Everyone's on their own journey.
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 2: So if you go for a work promotion and you
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 2: get rejected, there's probably something with your people skills that
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 2: they're not wanting you to be in a management position.
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 2: That's my thought.
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 4: It could be.
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 2: It's not that you don't have the skills. It's that
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 2: the way you interact with people probably isn't the best.
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 4: It just depends on the work, I guess, you know?
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 2: Well, if it's a promotion, she's definitely going to be
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 2: the head of people. That's usually how promotions work. It's
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 2: not like going from one machine to another. It's probably
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 2: like managing people. And from how she's criticized you to Sydney...
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 2: You know what, Diane?
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 4: Get forklift certified. That's never hurt.
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 2: Final comments. When OP was asked if she is the
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 2: competitive one and doesn't realize it when telling her friends
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 2: about accomplishments, she says, I stated all these facts because
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 2: I'm explaining a situation to strangers on the internet, so
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 2: I'm trying to be as descriptive as possible. But I
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 2: obviously never mentioned this to her in that way. You're
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 2: a size 16 and I'm a size 2. I obviously
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 2: did tell her about these things that were happening because
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 2: she was my close friend. Tell your friends when you
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 2: get a new job or get a new house. I
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 2: never said, hey, Diane, I got a new house that's
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 2: bigger than yours. But in this post, I had to
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 2: describe it to you strangers and the situation it is
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 2: because Diane and I, we both already know the sizes
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 2: of our houses, if that makes sense. So things sound
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 2: more competitive on here than they were in our real
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 2: life relationship. In real life, it was more like, OMG,
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 2: husband and I are about to close on a house.
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 2: That's the end of that story. Thank you for mansplaining
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 2: that last part to us. I didn't get it.
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 4: Yeah, just OP explaining, like, I don't constantly talk to Diane. Like,
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 4: how is your small house compared to my big house?
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 2: I got a newer husband than yours. Mine's more new.
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 4: Mine's newer and better. I also am still making more
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 4: money than you, right? Oh my gosh, I can see
• 1:07:30
  Speaker 4: your waist from a mile away. Mine's invisible. Look how
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 4: big you are. Just checking in. Still, still bigger than me, huh?
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 4: Oh my gosh.
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 2: You're like BX the plug.
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 4: The biggest.
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 2: The largest.
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 7: And that's the end of this story.