Latest / Karl and Crew / From Brokenness to Purpose with Jim Daly & Change Begins with Humility and Surrender with Dan Seaborn

Transcript

From Brokenness to Purpose with Jim Daly & Change Begins with Humility and Surrender with Dan Seaborn · Karl and Crew

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  S1: Broadcasting from Chicago, across North America and beyond. It's Carl
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  S1: and crew. Come as you are an experienced guide, overcome
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  S1: what seems impossible and live as you never imagined. Start
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  S1: your morning with a laugh.
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  S2: Practical from the Bible. Tips and tricks to kill. Not tricks,
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  S2: but tips and tricks.
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  S3: Tips and tricks to kill. Tips and tricks.
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  S1: Delivering the truth daily.
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  S4: All of my attempts to you know. Prop myself up
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  S4: with achievement and good works. Well, God wasn't impressed by that,
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  S4: even if other people were.
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  S2: The gospel changes everything.
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  S5: Freedom in Christ. Man, it's like that backpack of cement
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  S5: just falling to the ground.
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  S1: Now, from the call of Hope Studios, this is Carl
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  S1: and crew.
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  S6: It's. I can't change because dot dot dot weak. That's
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  S6: what it is. All week long we're going to be
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  S6: having experts in here tackling topics that really get. After
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  S6: this issue of the. I don't want to use just
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  S6: the word excuses, but reasons that we come up with
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  S6: for why we can't change. And boy, they're replete, aren't they, Ali?
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  S4: Yeah. I mean, you think about all of the ways
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  S4: that you make excuses in so many different areas. I mean,
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  S4: you take working out, you commit to, okay, I am
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  S4: going to get in shape. I know that I need
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  S4: to my doctor has told me to my scale says
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  S4: I should probably. And then it's like, ah, but this
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  S4: is a really. And I, I've done this myself because
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  S4: I've been off the wagon for about like three weeks.
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  S6: And so it's like off the wagon.
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  S5: That's so honest.
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  S4: And so for at first it was like it's share week. I,
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  S4: there's no way I can work out during share week
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  S4: because share is really, really that's fair. But then the
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  S4: week after, it's like, man, I really have a busy week.
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  S4: Share week was last week. Now I got a lot of.
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  S6: Recovery.
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  S4: Week. I have to I have to get caught up
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  S4: with things. And then today would be a good day.
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  S4: But I'm really tired today. I think it would be
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  S4: better for me to rest and try to go Wednesday.
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  S4: And then Wednesday comes and it's all these excuses that
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  S4: I make to myself. While I can't get to that
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  S4: 1215 workout class that I know is calling my name
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  S4: twice a week, but I've been making excuses. I don't
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  S4: even say them out loud. It's like in my mind
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  S4: I excuse certain things because of course I can't do
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  S4: that thing that I know that is good for me.
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  S6: Yeah, I think one of the most stunning things about
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  S6: our conversation with Jim Daly is you look at family
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  S6: of origin and upbringing. Boy, he got for me, he
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  S6: wasn't condemning in that. But when he shared his story
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  S6: of his upbringing and all that he went through in
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  S6: his childhood, it would it would seem reasonable that I
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  S6: in fact, I would have no problem as a pastor
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  S6: with someone saying this is an insurmountable thing for me
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  S6: to overcome, But Jim's like, no. Simply put, Jim Daly
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  S6: is one of these guys. Oh, it's power of the cross, man.
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  S6: God can change anything in anyone, which gives great hope.
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  S6: But you're. By the way, if you want to hear
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  S6: that interview again, just text the word show by 1030
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  S6: this morning. Central time. We'll have that loaded up. Text show.
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  S6: Whenever you hear something here, just text the word show. We'll.
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  S6: Good chance we'll have it in our show. Cast 805.
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  S6: Five five, 78. 98. Yeah. Excuses. Oh my goodness. Especially
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  S6: when you're raising kids. You hear some good ones don't
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  S6: you Ali?
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  S4: You do. You think about the ones you know. And
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  S4: this will always crack me up because I have a
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  S4: 16 and a 13 year old daughter and a 13
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  S4: year old son and 16 year old daughter. And so
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  S4: my daughter, like a lot of teenagers, she'll sometimes get
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  S4: lost in a device. And so she'll sit there and
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  S4: she'll be looking at something online. Maybe 30 minutes will
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  S4: go by, and I let her have her decompress time,
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  S4: and then I'll say, hey, can you get up and
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  S4: put the dishes away? Or can you get up and
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  S4: sweep the floor? And she'll go, oh, I am I mom.
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  S4: I'm so busy. I am so busy. I have so
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  S4: many things to do and I'll just look at her.
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  S4: You spent 30 minutes staring at your phone. I have
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  S4: so much homework to do, there's no way I could. Then,
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  S4: since she jumps up and with such urgency, starts like,
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  S4: you know, acting like there's there's so many things calling
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  S4: her name this, this homework that's been sitting there or
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  S4: this I have to clean out the car like, no, no, no, no,
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  S4: I actually want you to put the dishes away right
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  S4: now because I see you clearly have the time. But no,
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  S4: I mean, and kids will come up with all kinds
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  S4: of excuses to not do the thing that you've asked
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  S4: them to do.
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  S6: And adults have come up with excuses to not do
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  S6: the things God asks us to do.
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  S4: It's kind of human nature, right?
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  S6: Yeah, it really is. It really is. And that's really, uh,
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  S6: that's the brunt of where we're going this week. This
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  S6: is going to be so much fun. Hate the forecast
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  S6: for you the whole week already on this Monday morning.
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  S6: But I mean, come on, we're going to have some
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  S6: experts in here, including Doctor Henry Cloud. There's a lot
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  S6: of us that Wonder Boy. How can I how can
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  S6: I move forward with this knucklehead that's in my life
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  S6: every other moment? I mean, there's a lot of issues
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  S6: out there that we're going to tackle this week. It's
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  S6: going to be a lot of fun. So coming up,
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  S6: one of the big ones and it's it's very real. Uh, boy,
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  S6: we look back for some of us before we were
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  S6: born again. And we actually, some of you actually had
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  S6: a thought that I can't really get squared away with
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  S6: God because fill in the blank. And it's really funny
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  S6: because you can have a working, really good working knowledge
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  S6: of the gospel, of what Jesus came to do and
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  S6: how he wants to change us. You can be kind
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  S6: of baked into that culture And. Not be born again,
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  S6: but have a working understanding of what kind of born
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  S6: again looks like because you're in that culture. But in
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  S6: your mind, you think that there's something beyond you keeping
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  S6: you from really taking hold of that. Really. And you
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  S6: might say, oh, come on, do people think that? Yeah,
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  S6: I know a guy. I know a guy.
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  S4: You know a guy.
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  S6: Yeah. Came up with the craziest cockamamie story. Cockamamie. There's
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  S6: my dad. There's my dad coming out of me. The
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  S6: older I get, there's those dad isms coming.
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  S4: Out of me. Okay?
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  S6: The cockamamie story. My dad used to say that, but
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  S6: speaking of 16, when I would come up with stuff,
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  S6: he'd go, that's the cockamamie thing I've ever heard in
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  S6: my life.
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  S4: Carl.
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  S6: What are you doing? What are you saying? Well, this
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  S6: was crazy, and I want to give it to you.
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  S6: Coming up here in a moment. I want you to
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  S6: think today. Just think about this. Think about obedience. Just
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  S6: going to leave you with this right now. If some
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  S6: of you have to duck out and get into a
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  S6: job or grab breakfast or whatever it is, what is
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  S6: it the Holy Spirit has called you to do that
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  S6: you know, that he's called you to do. But boy,
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  S6: you've come up with some I can't Becauses just think
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  S6: about that this morning and just ask the Lord to reframe.
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  S6: It could be that I won't, because rather than I
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  S6: can't because because the Spirit of God has given us
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  S6: all that we need for life and godliness. Every bit
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  S6: of it. We're not here to condemn, but a little
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  S6: bit of conviction goes a long, long way to changing
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  S6: the quality of life that we have, guys, it really does.
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  S6: So coming up, a crazy story from a guy I know.
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  S6: There's a lot of things that we can kind of
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  S6: think in our mind. If just this thing in me
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  S6: would change, then I could change. So we'll tackle that
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  S6: coming up. Hope you had a great weekend. Be sure
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  S6: to take what you heard yesterday in that message at
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  S6: church or on Saturday night and apply it to your life, guys.
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  S1: Get to know the team behind the scenes. Follow Carl
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  S1: and crew on Facebook and Instagram.
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  S6: Carl and crew helping you take your next step with Jesus.
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  S6: So we're in this week called I Can't change because.
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  S6: And there's. So we're gonna have fun with this this week.
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  S6: We're going to really lean into the whole issue of sanctification,
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  S6: which is a fancy word for growing up in our
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  S6: relationship with God. As we touched on, I forget when
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  S6: that was, uh, last week we went, we got to
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  S6: be careful that we're not plateauing in our spiritual trajectory,
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  S6: but that we're constantly becoming until the end because we
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  S6: never cease having growth opportunities in our life. And it's
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  S6: really the joy of knowing, boy, God's at work in me.
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  S6: And it's not without a battle, but it's real. I
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  S6: want to go all the way back though, to this
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  S6: pre salvation time. And some of you might be in
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  S6: that right now. Uh, God is, uh, maybe you're a
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  S6: God fearing person and you've not really heard of what
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  S6: Jesus Christ can do in your life. But there's some
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  S6: of us that were raised in this culture of knowing
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  S6: or at least hearing, not knowing as in experiencing, not
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  S6: a ginosko of experiential truth, but a understanding of the
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  S6: framework of biblical Christianity. Right? We're raised in that boy
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  S6: I was in that I, I knew it, I heard it,
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  S6: I heard testimonies all the time. And I wondered, why
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  S6: in the world is this thing so elusive for me?
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  S6: Why can I not experience this salvation? I mean, I'd
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  S6: walked dials. I'd been baptized and gone through all this.
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  S6: In fact, I don't mention this story enough as a
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  S6: reason that some people can't change. But this story is
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  S6: graphic and I want to share it with you. So
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  S6: Dateline probably who? Goodness sakes. Probably three months after I
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  S6: had had a package of eight ounces of really good
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  S6: quality cocaine busted by the feds at Anchorage International Airport.
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  S6: And I had traveled from Redondo Beach, California, with a
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  S6: friend all the way up through California, up through the
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  S6: Yukon Territory, and drove into Alaska. In my mind, as
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  S6: a young man in my early 20s, thinking, if I
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  S6: drive in, there's probably less of a chance of me
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  S6: being busted. So I had this fear in my mind that, oh,
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  S6: the feds are going to be waiting for me at
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  S6: the airport if I fly in. I don't know. I
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  S6: don't know what I was thinking. They could just as
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  S6: easily be waiting at the border, for crying out loud.
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  S6: But that was overblown in my mind. These guys, they
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  S6: just wanted they don't have time for that. I was
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  S6: pretty two bit guy compared to some. But when you're
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  S6: not walking rightly, you can concoct all kinds of scenarios
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  S6: in your mind. Can't you?
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  S4: Yeah. Live looking over your shoulder, wondering if somebody's going
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  S4: to catch you.
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  S6: And by the way, that was scary, Ali.
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  S4: I'm sure.
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  S6: I mean, it was really scary, kiddo. I was afraid,
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  S6: I was afraid.
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  S4: You were what, early early 20s?
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  S6: 023. Yeah, I was 23. Um, and I don't want
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  S6: to understate this. I mean, I was terrified of what
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  S6: I was looking at here. I would have done a
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  S6: lot of time in the clink. And what's weird is, look,
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  S6: I was a bad kid, sure, but I was a
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  S6: pretty good kid. I wasn't I wasn't doing a lot
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  S6: of stuff that you see on the evening news. I
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  S6: was just really confused and messed up trying to get
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  S6: that void filled with some cocaine in my life. And boy,
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  S6: did it not fill up. If anyone's listening and you
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  S6: were a user of cocaine or alcohol radically, or any
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  S6: other kind of even prescription drugs, you soon find out,
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  S6: oh my goodness, this isn't working. It. It works at
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  S6: the start. Isn't that funny? The bait of Satan. It
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  S6: works at the jump.
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  S4: And you keep going back for for hoping that it's
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  S4: going to continue to work.
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  S6: Yeah. And it doesn't. And then you get paranoid and
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  S6: everything starts going sideways. So I get back to state
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  S6: of Alaska, back in the place where I'm living. I've
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  S6: got a couple of roommates. And one day I just decided,
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  S6: all right, enough of this. I my life, I cannot
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  S6: seem to get on track with God. So I had
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  S6: this awareness. I've got to be on track with God.
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  S6: So I call up a friend of mine who was
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  S6: much older than me. He was my pastor when I
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  S6: was a kid in this church. Now I'm not at
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  S6: that church, but I knew him well enough where I
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  S6: could call him up and I called him up and
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  S6: I said, hey, could you come up to my apartment?
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  S6: Do you have time? Uh, I've got an issue and
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  S6: I think you can help me with it. And he
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  S6: knew I was far from God, but he accommodated me.
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  S6: And he came up and we sat down and I
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  S6: looked at him and I said, hey, I, I feel
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  S6: like I really want to I think I was crying.
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  S6: In fact, I know I was. I really want to
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  S6: really grow in my relationship with God, but I feel stuck.
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  S6: And he said, well, what do you think the problem is?
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  S6: I said, I think I've, I think I've got a
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  S6: demonic stronghold in my life. Now, this guy was notorious
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  S6: for having, uh, true spoken interventions over demonic activity. I'd
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  S6: heard these stories growing up in church, not a lot
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  S6: of them, but a few of them. And, uh, they
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  S6: were pretty hair raising. But I'm a pretty bold guy.
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  S6: And I'm like, If I've got a demonic influence in
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  S6: my life, I want to get this thing cast out
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  S6: and dealt with. So I pour out my heart and
• 13:42
  S6: he begins to ask me questions along those lines, and
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  S6: he looks me in the eye, and he's got his
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  S6: Bible open, and he's reading scripture over me. And I
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  S6: am no joking thinking, is my body going to start
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  S6: flipping around? Is something going to come out of my mouth?
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  S6: And I was game for it because I was genuinely
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  S6: wanting to get freed from the life I was living in.
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  S6: So he was there for a good hour and a half.
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  S6: Two hours might have been three. It was a long time.
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  S6: At one point, he abruptly stands up. We're in the
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  S6: living room of my pad where I'm living. He stands
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  S6: up and I said, what's what's up? He said, well,
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  S6: I'm heading back to the office. I said, well, uh,
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  S6: are we done? He said, yeah, Carl, we are. He said,
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  S6: I need you to know something. You don't have a
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  S6: demon problem. You have a real problem.
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  S4: Ouch.
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  S6: I wanted so badly for there to be a reason
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  S6: that I can't change because. And in my case, I
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  S6: thought I can't change because I've got demonic strongholds. Now,
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  S6: in a spiritual sense, was I an enemy of the cross?
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  S6: And did Satan have a grip on me? Yeah, but
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  S6: it wasn't due to some. I wasn't saved and now, uh,
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  S6: encumbered by demonic spirits. I was an unrepentant young man,
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  S6: so I was on the broad path, holding on to
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  S6: all my idols and all my gods, and had Jesus
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  S6: in my other hand, held on by a little pinky thinking, yeah, oh,
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  S6: I'm Christian. I'm just. I'm just stuck because I've got demons. Boy,
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  S6: that was a watershed moment for me. Ali.
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  S4: How long did you sit there after he walked out
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  S4: of that room? Kind of sitting with that.
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  S6: That's a really good question. No one's ever asked me that.
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  S6: I went and sat back down. I think I poured
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  S6: a cup of coffee, and that's when I think the
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  S6: Spirit of God began to put a mirror up to
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  S6: my soul. And I didn't want to see it. And
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  S6: I went out that night partying yet again. Isn't that something?
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  S6: So before you came to Jesus, you said, I can't
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  S6: change because what was it? What was it? It may
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  S6: not be that crazy. And I don't mention that enough
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  S6: around here, because isn't that just take the anatomy of that.
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  S6: Isn't that fascinating? So I know all about the gospel.
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  S4: Yeah.
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  S6: I know all these stories. I've seen people testify. I
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  S6: make an assumption out of my illusion of salvation that, oh,
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  S6: I must be born again. I've just got demonic activity
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  S6: going on in my life. What a crazy leap I made, right?
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  S4: I mean, yes, but I don't think it's that uncommon to,
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  S4: to try to hold on to something that seems like
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  S4: the reason other than just me.
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  S6: Yeah. So I'm going to go a little different direction here.
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  S6: I want you to hold on to something. Some of
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  S6: you have thought, boy, maybe this Christian life really isn't
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  S6: for me. I can't change because and you've got all
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  S6: kinds of excuses there. But your real problem this morning.
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  S6: Is you. That's why the joy of salvation has never
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  S6: landed in your heart. It's you. And God's got an
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  S6: answer for that. Straight ahead.
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  S1: It's Carl and Crew on Moody Radio.
• 17:27
  S6: So I was born and baked into a culture of Christianity.
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  S6: I'd heard the gospel forward and back, and here I
• 17:33
  S6: am in my young 20s now, trying to explain away
• 17:37
  S6: and really thinking I'm being encumbered in the abundant life
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  S6: that Jesus offers. I knew those verses I'd memorized so many.
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  S6: And one candy bars for doing it, Boys Brigade and
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  S6: all that stuff growing up in church. So I knew
• 17:52
  S6: the gospel forward and back. And here I am asking
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  S6: a man of God, hey, get these demons cast out
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  S6: of me so that I can really go on with
• 17:59
  S6: my abundant life. Turns out he was right. He left
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  S6: my apartment that day and said, you don't have a
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  S6: demon problem. You got a real problem. And some of
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  S6: you have said, I can't change because in its self-deception
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  S6: and you've not really taken hold of abundant life. You're
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  S6: a cultural Christian like I was. And I want you
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  S6: to know today you can be born again, but it
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  S6: is going to require the courage to face yourself as
• 18:27
  S6: you are. I can't change because fill in the blank.
• 18:31
  S6: Got one guy texted in here because sex dominates me
• 18:33
  S6: and I'm not married to her, but I'm shacked up
• 18:35
  S6: with her. Here's the deal. I need you to hear
• 18:39
  S6: my heart right now. You don't have a sex problem.
• 18:42
  S6: You don't have a drug problem. You don't have a
• 18:44
  S6: materialism problem. You got a you problem. You're the problem.
• 18:49
  S6: And I love you enough to tell it all. We,
• 18:53
  S6: like sheep, have gone astray. Each his own way. And
• 18:57
  S6: you might have heard the gospel forward and back and
• 18:59
  S6: been in church. You can be in church every weekend.
• 19:02
  S6: Come on, guys, but you're not in Christ. You say, Carl,
• 19:07
  S6: what's the remedy? It's you friend. You need to look
• 19:10
  S6: to God. And with hands open wide today, you need
• 19:13
  S6: to say, God, I'm a sinner. I need a Savior.
• 19:16
  S6: I'm the problem. It's a freeing thing. When you look
• 19:19
  S6: at yourself and go, I'm the problem. I can't blame
• 19:23
  S6: anyone else or anything else any longer. I'm the problem. I'm.
• 19:31
  S6: I'm believing that the Spirit of God is cutting like
• 19:34
  S6: a knife between bone and marrow and cutting into your
• 19:36
  S6: heart right now and showing you this. What a great,
• 19:38
  S6: severe mercy. And I want you to know from the
• 19:42
  S6: bottom of my heart that the word is true. If
• 19:44
  S6: you confess with your mouth for the first time, Jesus
• 19:47
  S6: is Lord. You might have said, well, I've said that. No, no,
• 19:50
  S6: I mean live it. Jesus is Lord. He's my highest authority.
• 19:54
  S6: And today I'm repenting on this broad path where I've
• 19:57
  S6: negotiated with Jesus all these years, and I'm done negotiating.
• 20:04
  S6: And today I surrender all that I am to Jesus
• 20:07
  S6: for the first time in my life. And if that's you, friend,
• 20:09
  S6: you will be born again. The Spirit of God is
• 20:13
  S6: going to be the one that convicts you of you.
• 20:16
  S6: And then the Spirit of God will regenerate you. All
• 20:20
  S6: you are called to do is bow low. Blessed are
• 20:23
  S6: the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
• 20:26
  S6: And I urge you today, friend, don't wait any longer.
• 20:29
  S6: Today is your day of salvation. Please don't let pride
• 20:33
  S6: hold you back. Don't let excuses hold you back. You're
• 20:36
  S6: the problem. Your sins. The problem. Yeah. Oh yeah. You
• 20:41
  S6: can point your finger at so many things. But why?
• 20:44
  S6: What does it profit you? What does it profit you?
• 20:49
  S6: To hold on to the idols of the broad path
• 20:53
  S6: and lose your soul? Nothing. So how about we call
• 20:58
  S6: an end to the self deceit today? And I just
• 21:03
  S6: want to ask you a couple of questions. Is today
• 21:06
  S6: the first time in your life where you're willing to say,
• 21:08
  S6: I'm the problem? I've been I've been pretty well aware
• 21:12
  S6: of what God wants to do with me. And I've
• 21:14
  S6: come up with all kinds of rationale and negotiation tactics
• 21:18
  S6: with God. But here's the deal. I'm the problem. I'm
• 21:22
  S6: a sinner and I need a Savior. And his name
• 21:26
  S6: is Jesus. If that's you, just say yes. Just speak
• 21:28
  S6: it out to God. Yeah. That's me. God. Tell him
• 21:30
  S6: that right now. And today I'm repenting, telling Jesus this.
• 21:37
  S6: I'm repenting and I'm following you. Jesus. Open hands, open heart.
• 21:43
  S6: Holding nothing back. Today I turn. I change my mind.
• 21:48
  S6: And I surrender all that I am to Jesus Christ
• 21:51
  S6: for the first time in my life. You may have
• 21:54
  S6: uttered prayers before. You may have believed, but demons believe.
• 21:59
  S6: But today you're surrendering to Jesus. And if that's you, friend,
• 22:03
  S6: wherever you are, we're going to help you on this path.
• 22:05
  S6: And it's beautiful. I want you. For some of you,
• 22:07
  S6: it's wiping away tears. For me, it was tears of
• 22:10
  S6: shame emptying out and joy coming in. But I want
• 22:13
  S6: you to know this is the day of salvation. And
• 22:17
  S6: if today you are surrendering all you are to Jesus
• 22:21
  S6: Christ for the very first time and you're acknowledging that
• 22:25
  S6: you're the problem, you're a sinner. You need a savior.
• 22:28
  S6: I want you to text the word new right now,
• 22:30
  S6: and we're going to help you. We're going to actually
• 22:32
  S6: get a brand new Bible out to you. We're going
• 22:34
  S6: to we have got an opportunity for you to have
• 22:38
  S6: someone in your area, no matter where you are in
• 22:40
  S6: this world, to just pray with you and encourage you
• 22:42
  S6: and to help you. I want you to text the
• 22:45
  S6: word new. We've got some good follow up material in here.
• 22:48
  S6: We're going to help you in your first steps with Jesus,
• 22:50
  S6: just like somebody helped me some months after that encounter,
• 22:54
  S6: I had just text the word new to 805 five, five, 78,
• 23:00
  S6: 98 new one word right now, wherever you are, new
• 23:04
  S6: to 805, five, five, 78, 98 come on friend, today
• 23:10
  S6: you're alive in Christ. Text. New to our number.
• 23:13
  S1: He was running from God. But God's love brought him home.
• 23:17
  S1: Carl is in the crew. It's Carl and crew on
• 23:21
  S1: Moody Radio.
• 23:22
  S6: Good number of views. Surrender your all to Jesus Christ today.
• 23:26
  S6: Here's one thing that struck me. Some of you are
• 23:28
  S6: so new here. A lot of you never texted the
• 23:31
  S6: show before. So if today is the day when you're
• 23:34
  S6: going a new way, your surrender. No more excuses. You're
• 23:37
  S6: the problem. You're the problem. Your sin. You're the issue.
• 23:41
  S6: But today you're surrendering all that you are to Jesus
• 23:44
  S6: for the first time. If you just heard that, uh,
• 23:47
  S6: last segment that I offered up to you, my story
• 23:51
  S6: made new by Jesus Christ, and you are following Jesus
• 23:55
  S6: for the first time. Text new. And let me give
• 23:57
  S6: you that number slowly. We're going to help you with
• 23:59
  S6: some resources. Use this link new to 805 557898. One
• 24:05
  S6: word new to 805 557898. How encouraging Alex.
• 24:10
  S4: So encouraging to see so many of you texting you.
• 24:13
  S4: I want to welcome you to the family.
• 24:15
  S6: Yeah. Just tremendous. Wow. We're hitting a topic this week
• 24:20
  S6: that's going to strike a chord all the way around,
• 24:22
  S6: won't it?
• 24:23
  S4: Absolutely.
• 24:24
  S6: Yeah. I mean, there's no way around it. I can't
• 24:27
  S6: change because. And we're going to bring in experts all
• 24:30
  S6: week that are going to hit the issue. Some salvation
• 24:32
  S6: but some most sanctification. I can't change because this person's
• 24:38
  S6: in the way. And boy, there's a big one right there.
• 24:40
  S6: I can't change because this person, I'm married to, this
• 24:44
  S6: wayward kid that just has given me fits. This extended family,
• 24:49
  S6: this it's funny how those circles of influence, those are
• 24:53
  S6: the biggest constraints or so we feel on us growing
• 24:56
  S6: and going with God. Right?
• 24:58
  S4: Yeah. And so we deny the power and the promises
• 25:00
  S4: of God because of what feel like insurmountable circumstances.
• 25:04
  S6: Yeah. Dan Seaborn, our guest coming up here in just
• 25:07
  S6: a moment. This is Caleb and John, somebody like me.
• 25:10
  S6: Welcome to the family. Those of you surrendering all you
• 25:13
  S6: are to Jesus today.
• 25:16
  S1: Take your next step with Jesus. Today you're listening to
• 25:20
  S1: Carl and crew.
• 25:21
  S6: I can't change because and I mean, there's so many
• 25:26
  S6: things you can go after here. And I this can
• 25:28
  S6: sound a little convicting only because it is. I can't
• 25:31
  S6: change because I'm too busy. I don't have enough willpower.
• 25:34
  S6: By the way, tomorrow we're going to square that one away.
• 25:37
  S6: All you got to do is go to John 15.
• 25:39
  S6: You'll figure out willpower ain't going to get you any
• 25:41
  S6: fruit bearing in your life. I can't change because this
• 25:44
  S6: stuff that I'm holding on to helps me cope with life.
• 25:48
  S6: I can't change because my environment makes it impossible. I
• 25:52
  S6: can't change because I've always been this way. Carl. But
• 25:56
  S6: now today we're going to come out of this shoot
• 25:58
  S6: hot on this Monday morning. I can't change because of
• 26:02
  S6: the family around me. I gotta tell you right now,
• 26:07
  S6: you probably know that we're going to debunk that myth,
• 26:10
  S6: but let's hit it head on. I've got a special guest,
• 26:13
  S6: Dan Seaborn. He founded Winning at Home, and it's an
• 26:16
  S6: organization that produces media resources, and it hosts special events
• 26:20
  S6: to encourage marriages and families. Dan is serving as the
• 26:24
  S6: leader for the marriage and family division of the a
• 26:29
  S6: c c this dude's been there, done that big plenary speaker,
• 26:33
  S6: got a lot of books and resources. We're going to
• 26:35
  S6: put you on to that. Dan. Good morning. And how
• 26:38
  S6: in the world you've heard people say this, haven't you?
• 26:40
  S6: You've heard people say, man, I wish I could change,
• 26:43
  S6: but look at the knuckleheads that are in my closest
• 26:46
  S6: proximity here. Dan.
• 26:48
  S7: Yeah, good morning Carl. Thanks for inviting me on. I
• 26:51
  S7: love being with you. And yeah, as I'm listening to
• 26:54
  S7: you talk, I'm going, oh, mercy. That's alive and well
• 26:57
  S7: in my family.
• 26:58
  S6: So yeah, I mean, and here's the tough thing. I mean,
• 27:02
  S6: this is real. I don't want to I don't want
• 27:06
  S6: to strip someone's feeling away. That man, I can't change because.
• 27:10
  S6: And I mean, we could go a million different directions here.
• 27:13
  S6: My spouse isn't born again. They're antagonistic. My wayward kids
• 27:16
  S6: are devouring every bit of my emotional energy. And I
• 27:19
  S6: don't know what to do about it. And the kids
• 27:22
  S6: that I'm raising, or I've got a special needs kid
• 27:25
  S6: or I mean, the list goes on and on, right? Dan.
• 27:28
  S7: Oh, it's unbelievable. And everybody listening has something in a
• 27:32
  S7: different angle. But let's start with this, Carl. Let's start
• 27:35
  S7: with our own personal heart before we even talk about
• 27:38
  S7: anybody else. Let's just talk about how we as individuals,
• 27:43
  S7: if we're going to say we're going to be followers
• 27:45
  S7: of Christ, if we're going to go through that type
• 27:48
  S7: of an analysis of our own life, which I certainly
• 27:50
  S7: want to do, I know you do, and many of
• 27:52
  S7: our listeners want to do. The first thing we have
• 27:54
  S7: to grapple with is our Savior was willing to change
• 27:58
  S7: his entire purpose of everything that he was called to
• 28:03
  S7: do for what God the Father called him to do.
• 28:05
  S7: And so, you know, as a believer, as a follower
• 28:08
  S7: of Christ, I gotta ask myself, wait a minute. What's
• 28:11
  S7: my reason for not changing? I can put it like this.
• 28:13
  S7: I had a lady, uh, came to me a couple
• 28:15
  S7: of days ago, and she actually gave me permission to
• 28:18
  S7: share this. This lady came into my office and she
• 28:20
  S7: was frustrated with something with her husband. And I said
• 28:23
  S7: to her, go home and you need to do this.
• 28:26
  S7: And she looked right at me with dead set eyes.
• 28:28
  S7: And she said, I can't do that. I mean, that's
• 28:31
  S7: what she said to me. And and I looked right
• 28:34
  S7: at her. I looked her dead back in the eyes.
• 28:37
  S7: And I said to her, you can you just don't
• 28:41
  S7: want to. And that's all I said. And I mean,
• 28:43
  S7: there was silence for probably 20s. And she came back
• 28:47
  S7: to me the next day and she said to me, Danny,
• 28:50
  S7: that was so dead on, I. I need to do that.
• 28:54
  S7: I know I need to change. I just don't want to. And,
• 28:57
  S7: and I said, did you do it? She said, I did.
• 28:59
  S7: I went home and I changed my spirit and my attitude.
• 29:03
  S7: And I am so much better today. And I think
• 29:06
  S7: that's what I want us just to basically start with,
• 29:08
  S7: is many of us are carrying something, dealing with something.
• 29:12
  S7: The burden of our heart got lifted because she changed
• 29:15
  S7: something inside her, nothing to do with her husband. She
• 29:18
  S7: changed something about her. And that's the first place we
• 29:21
  S7: gotta start.
• 29:22
  S6: Okay, this is interesting. So this dovetails with something crazy,
• 29:25
  S6: and it has to do with church planting. So bear
• 29:27
  S6: with me here a second. I'm asking David Nelms, who
• 29:30
  S6: is planting churches all around the globe, and I asked him,
• 29:33
  S6: how do you get this great commission mentality? And he said, oh,
• 29:37
  S6: that's easy. He said, A church without a great commandment
• 29:41
  S6: heart will never have a great commission mentality. What you're saying, Dan,
• 29:44
  S6: is until we get squared away, loving God with all
• 29:48
  S6: our heart, soul, mind and strength, we got a snowball's
• 29:51
  S6: chance in Gehenna of dealing with those around us. Do we?
• 29:54
  S7: Pointless. It's absolutely pointless because you're you're living the whole
• 29:58
  S7: theme of everything you're doing with looking at them. And
• 30:01
  S7: you got to start with yourself. And the more you
• 30:04
  S7: do that, the more you submit, the more you surrender.
• 30:07
  S7: Now let let's be quick to say here, Carl, I'm
• 30:09
  S7: not telling someone who's in an abusive relationship, you know,
• 30:12
  S7: not not nothing like that. I'm talking about the average,
• 30:15
  S7: just good old hard heart. And you know that most
• 30:18
  S7: of us sometimes have. That is an issue that we
• 30:22
  S7: need to grapple with ourselves before we even think about
• 30:25
  S7: somebody else.
• 30:26
  S6: What about let's, let's pressure test this because any good
• 30:31
  S6: couple that's fought for their marriage, not fought in marriage,
• 30:35
  S6: but fought for it, which sometimes it gets heated and
• 30:39
  S6: it's hard and tears flow. There has to be a
• 30:43
  S6: point at which you don't keep pointing fingers and you
• 30:48
  S6: begin to look at yourself. But a lot of people
• 30:50
  S6: listening right now are saying, Dan, you don't understand what
• 30:53
  S6: I'm living with. You don't understand my situation. But you do,
• 30:57
  S6: don't you, Dan?
• 30:58
  S7: Yeah. And I would actually say back to that person
• 31:01
  S7: something I'm learning myself. And that's this every year when
• 31:04
  S7: we look at our marriage, look at our family, we
• 31:07
  S7: usually judge, analyze it, look at it and go, okay,
• 31:10
  S7: are we better than we were last year? And for
• 31:11
  S7: most of us, we're looking at better cars, better houses,
• 31:15
  S7: better this, better that. And I'm, I've been asking myself
• 31:18
  S7: lately this, this is hard. And I don't like it,
• 31:22
  S7: but I've been asking myself lately. Did a little more
• 31:24
  S7: of me die this year? Did I surrender a little
• 31:28
  S7: bit more of something that I thought I had to
• 31:31
  S7: have to be able to get what I need? And
• 31:33
  S7: the Lord has just been really showing me this. Life
• 31:36
  S7: is a journey of a little bit of Dan needs
• 31:39
  S7: to die this year because there's something inside me that holds.
• 31:42
  S7: Bitterness needs to change, and I don't like it. But
• 31:46
  S7: here's the crazy part for me, Carl. Every time I
• 31:48
  S7: do it, I can't explain this other than it's biblical.
• 31:51
  S7: The Lord says, if you will submit and humble yourselves,
• 31:54
  S7: he will elevate you. There is a peace that comes
• 31:57
  S7: with every. It looks like you are losing and in
• 32:01
  S7: your marriage situation. If you surrender or die a little
• 32:04
  S7: bit to self, it looks like they're winning, but you're
• 32:07
  S7: actually winning. I can't even explain that other than to
• 32:10
  S7: use the example of Jesus on the cross. The people
• 32:13
  S7: who were literally looking at him going, you're lost, we
• 32:16
  S7: got you. And inside, you know, he's thinking, you'll see.
• 32:20
  S7: And so I believe that we need to be looking
• 32:23
  S7: at changing that part of ourselves in our surrender. We
• 32:26
  S7: actually gain and win. And then our marriage wins and
• 32:29
  S7: our family wins big time.
• 32:30
  S6: Dan Seaborn, my guest right now, we're going to we're
• 32:33
  S6: going to continue on this discussion. Before we jump to
• 32:36
  S6: the other side, Dan, I got to tell you, it's been. Oh, goodness. Oh,
• 32:42
  S6: I read this book first Time Humility by Andrew Murray
• 32:45
  S6: many years ago. But boy, I've been in the last
• 32:47
  S6: ten years, I've been camped out and now I've got
• 32:49
  S6: people giving me every version of this thing you can imagine,
• 32:53
  S6: he says, humility is the one virtue that gives birth
• 32:56
  S6: to every other virtue. Dan, it is hard to the
• 33:00
  S6: person who says, how can I humble myself under God's
• 33:03
  S6: mighty hand? You were just quoting first. I think it's
• 33:05
  S6: first Peter 516. How can in the world can I
• 33:08
  S6: do that? Trusting that he'll lift me up when all
• 33:12
  S6: this stuff is going on around me. It could be
• 33:14
  S6: blended family issues, could be kids run amok, could be
• 33:17
  S6: heartache of of lost kids that are verbally abusive and
• 33:21
  S6: a spouse that's lost. How do you do that, Dan?
• 33:24
  S7: By faith. Believing that what God's Word says is true.
• 33:29
  S7: You're not going to be able to do it relying
• 33:31
  S7: on your own. Well, I see, I see this where
• 33:34
  S7: this is headed. Oh, this is easy for me to
• 33:36
  S7: do this. No it's not. This hasn't been the most
• 33:38
  S7: painful journey of my life. Is having to surrender things
• 33:43
  S7: where I'm sure, absolutely sure that I'm right. I think
• 33:47
  S7: I'm right. And to have to lay that down for
• 33:50
  S7: a bigger purpose has been the hardest part of my
• 33:52
  S7: personal life, and I want anyone who says they're grappling
• 33:56
  S7: with something really heavy. With that, I want to say
• 33:58
  S7: to you, I'm your comrade. I'm with you. Believe in you.
• 34:02
  S7: Keep making that decision because I believe God. If his
• 34:05
  S7: word is true and we all believe it, then he's
• 34:07
  S7: going to honor that submission.
• 34:09
  S6: Amen. Dan Seaborn. My guests coming up here, we're going
• 34:12
  S6: to get really practical and talk about resources because once
• 34:16
  S6: you've postured yourself in humility, brokenness, utter dependence on God,
• 34:21
  S6: and you say like, David, search me, know me, try me.
• 34:24
  S6: See if there'd be any hurtful way in me. Then
• 34:27
  S6: we can talk about family. Hang on.
• 34:30
  S1: Your shot of hope to get you through the day.
• 34:33
  S5: You are so, so loved. God does not want you
• 34:36
  S5: to stay in your past. And I want you to
• 34:39
  S5: know and believe that today.
• 34:40
  S1: You're listening to Carl and Crew.
• 34:42
  S6: Dan Seaborn. My guest right now, we're talking. I can't
• 34:46
  S6: change because all week long and today with Dan, we're tackling.
• 34:50
  S6: I can't change because my spouse, because my kids, because
• 34:56
  S6: my blended family, because of no finances in the home.
• 35:00
  S6: The list goes on and on. Dan, there's so many
• 35:03
  S6: directions we can go here. The first direction you've already
• 35:05
  S6: given us here. And if you're just joining us, boom crew. Dan,
• 35:09
  S6: quick recap. As hard as it is, we got to
• 35:12
  S6: quit looking at those around us. And first things first
• 35:14
  S6: we got to get the oxygen mask on us with God,
• 35:17
  S6: don't we?
• 35:18
  S7: Yeah, absolutely. And you know, one of the key moments
• 35:20
  S7: for me, Carl, that happened was we had a counselor here.
• 35:23
  S7: You know, our ministry has several counselors and coaches. I'm
• 35:26
  S7: a pastor, not a counselor and coach, but I have
• 35:27
  S7: the honor of working alongside them. And one of ours,
• 35:31
  S7: his name is Jim Beck. He was very close to
• 35:34
  S7: the end of his life. He was in the hospital.
• 35:35
  S7: He had cancer. He was passing away. And I, I
• 35:37
  S7: went to visit him and I'm sitting by his bedside.
• 35:40
  S7: And I looked at him and I said, Jim, um,
• 35:43
  S7: I just have a couple of questions to run by you.
• 35:45
  S7: Anything I can do to help your wife, She was
• 35:47
  S7: going to be remaining behind. And then also I just
• 35:51
  S7: cared about him as a person. And I said, but
• 35:53
  S7: one of the things I love is can you just
• 35:56
  S7: leave me a final little quote? He was older than me,
• 35:58
  S7: a real mentor of mine. And I said, Jim, can
• 36:00
  S7: you just can you just give me a, a little
• 36:02
  S7: phrase for me to carry in life and all he did?
• 36:05
  S7: He looked right at me, Carl, and he said, just
• 36:07
  S7: remember this, Dan. And I said, okay, I got it.
• 36:09
  S7: You know, I'm on the edge of the seat. And
• 36:10
  S7: he goes, if nothing changes, nothing changes. That's all he said.
• 36:15
  S7: He just looked at me and said, if nothing changes,
• 36:18
  S7: nothing changes. And I literally went, huh? I went, huh?
• 36:22
  S7: And he's like, no, Dan, think about this. If nothing changes,
• 36:26
  S7: you're you're a pastor. You travel the world, you preach.
• 36:28
  S7: ET cetera. ET cetera. But all of that, if you
• 36:31
  S7: got stuff in your life that you need to change
• 36:33
  S7: and you're not willing to change it, then nothing's going
• 36:35
  S7: to change. And I mean, it hit me enough that
• 36:38
  S7: I put it as a quote here at the offices,
• 36:40
  S7: because if you think about that, what you're saying is, nope,
• 36:44
  S7: I'm going to keep living this way. way. I'm gonna
• 36:45
  S7: keep doing this. We'll project that out for ten years,
• 36:47
  S7: project it out for 20 years. Do you like where
• 36:50
  S7: you're going to be? Look back. You're going to be regretful.
• 36:53
  S7: And so I love that phrase. If nothing changes, nothing changes.
• 36:58
  S7: So act on that today. Act on that today.
• 37:01
  S6: Yeah. And and look at yourself first. Okay. Now where
• 37:04
  S6: do we go from there? Because we know that it's
• 37:07
  S6: not righteous to be bulldozed. And we maybe I'm here's
• 37:13
  S6: what I'm thinking about. I'm thinking about the marriages where
• 37:16
  S6: there's an unsaved spouse or someone who has picked up
• 37:20
  S6: some idols of pornography or addiction of some kind, could
• 37:25
  S6: be husband. Wife, could goes both ways. It's not one.
• 37:28
  S6: The dudes aren't always the bad guys here. What do
• 37:31
  S6: you say to a situation like that, Dan?
• 37:34
  S7: Don't try to go it alone. Make sure you get
• 37:37
  S7: somebody in your life, a confidant, someone you can talk
• 37:41
  S7: to who just walks along beside you and gives you
• 37:44
  S7: godly encouragement. Godly advice. You know, I, I love my
• 37:48
  S7: situation here, Carl. Everybody's going to laugh, but I have
• 37:50
  S7: about 30 coaches and counselors around me. And sometimes my office,
• 37:54
  S7: I can see out the windows. And sometimes if I'm
• 37:56
  S7: struggling with something, I'll see one of them walking in
• 37:59
  S7: and I'll go yell their name and say, hey, come
• 38:00
  S7: in my office a second. I, I get free counseling
• 38:03
  S7: for about five minutes and it helps me to know
• 38:06
  S7: I got people in this journey with me. I got
• 38:09
  S7: somebody who comes alongside me and helps me look at
• 38:12
  S7: my situation and gives me better balance. And that's one
• 38:15
  S7: of the reasons we need friendships and we need relationships.
• 38:17
  S7: And I know there's some maybe a guy listening right
• 38:20
  S7: now goes, I'm not going to do that. And I
• 38:22
  S7: would say to you, if nothing changes, nothing changes. Go
• 38:26
  S7: and talk with someone. Let them give you some advice.
• 38:29
  S7: It's okay. Say, I was listening to this guy on
• 38:31
  S7: the radio and he was really messed up and said
• 38:34
  S7: he talked to a counselor. Would you be willing to
• 38:36
  S7: talk to me? Just use me if you need to,
• 38:38
  S7: because we're all in this journey together. And one of
• 38:42
  S7: the things I love to do is come alongside people
• 38:45
  S7: who are struggling with that. Being a pastor myself, I
• 38:47
  S7: tell pastors all the time, come in my office, tell
• 38:50
  S7: me what you're dealing with, man. Tell me how tough
• 38:52
  S7: you are stuffing your marriage stuff in your life. Tell
• 38:55
  S7: me I'm here for you. I want to be alongside
• 38:57
  S7: you because that's what Jesus does for us. He he
• 39:00
  S7: does not listen to our story and go, oh, you're
• 39:02
  S7: a little too tainted to help. He doesn't do that.
• 39:05
  S7: He listens to our story and says, I, I came
• 39:08
  S7: to redeem that mess. And sometimes we just need somebody
• 39:11
  S7: else in our court that says, hey, man, I get
• 39:14
  S7: your story. I understand where you're at. Let me walk
• 39:16
  S7: alongside you. So that's a first step.
• 39:18
  S6: You're bullish on God, aren't you? You're bullish on God's ability.
• 39:22
  S6: I mean you really are.
• 39:24
  S7: Yeah.
• 39:24
  S6: Dan Seaborn, my guest right now. You know what. I
• 39:28
  S6: want to point people to resources and you've got them
• 39:30
  S6: on your website winning at home. And the key word
• 39:34
  S6: I'm going to give it to you now. Boom crew.
• 39:35
  S6: It's winning to 805, five five, 78, 98. She says
• 39:39
  S6: one word winning to 805 5578, 98. Uh, you know,
• 39:47
  S6: I love your realness. I love your authenticity. I love
• 39:50
  S6: your passion. I love your bullishness on the gospel. What
• 39:57
  S6: usually keeps people from making that move that they need
• 40:01
  S6: to make going first look at me, and then I
• 40:03
  S6: can look with objectivity at the situations family that could
• 40:07
  S6: be as dysfunctional as you can imagine. What keeps people
• 40:12
  S6: from that? What's that impasse?
• 40:15
  S7: Well, I think it comes down to the fact that
• 40:17
  S7: we feel like if we have to accept that or
• 40:19
  S7: admit that, then we have to accept that we're a
• 40:22
  S7: failure and nobody in this world wants to be a failure.
• 40:25
  S7: And I know for me, when I'm not willing to
• 40:28
  S7: confront those things and talk about those things, it's because
• 40:31
  S7: I'm going to have to be a little humble and say,
• 40:33
  S7: you know what? I don't have all my stuff together.
• 40:35
  S7: And I just got to admit that. And the more
• 40:38
  S7: I do that, the more I submit even that, you know, I,
• 40:42
  S7: I think so often we don't see that as, um,
• 40:45
  S7: as big of a sin or as big of a
• 40:48
  S7: stumbling block to help us get where we need to
• 40:50
  S7: in our life as we should. We look out at
• 40:53
  S7: sexual sins and go, oh, that one's so big and
• 40:55
  S7: so obvious. But sometimes I think it comes down to
• 40:57
  S7: that little bit of hard heart I got going on,
• 40:59
  S7: or that little bit of embarrassment I got going on
• 41:01
  S7: inside me that I don't want somebody to know. I'm.
• 41:04
  S7: I'm less than they think I am. Well guess what?
• 41:07
  S7: We're all a little less than we think our are.
• 41:08
  S7: The only thing we are is what the Lord Jesus
• 41:11
  S7: allows us to be. And the more I can humble
• 41:13
  S7: myself and get myself out of the way, the more
• 41:16
  S7: God can use my life for his purpose. So if
• 41:18
  S7: somebody today is at a place where they go, well, I'm,
• 41:21
  S7: I'm not going to, I'm not going to break down
• 41:23
  S7: my little 20%. It's my husband's 80%. Until that 20%
• 41:27
  S7: gets dealt with, you won't be able to see a
• 41:30
  S7: lot of change. And I, at the end of my life,
• 41:33
  S7: I am responsible to the Lord for what I did
• 41:35
  S7: with my journey. I'm not responsible for my spouse's journey.
• 41:38
  S7: They will stand and answer before the Lord. That's their deal.
• 41:41
  S7: But I'm responsible for me, and I'm not going to
• 41:44
  S7: finish this life with 10% still hanging on. And I
• 41:47
  S7: just encourage all those listening today to say, what can
• 41:50
  S7: I do? What step can I take? That's what Jesus did.
• 41:53
  S7: That's what Jesus.
• 41:54
  S6: Did. I've got stamp of approval on this guy's site.
• 41:58
  S6: Dan Seaborn it's called winning at home. The key word
• 42:01
  S6: is winning to 805, five, five, 78, 98. We're talking.
• 42:05
  S6: We've got adult counseling, child adolescent counseling, on site counseling.
• 42:10
  S6: But they can do it via Zoom too. And it
• 42:12
  S6: can be so effective. And then they've got coaching, premarital coaching,
• 42:16
  S6: coaching teams. They've got them all laid out there. They've
• 42:18
  S6: got events that they're hosting and resources. No pay wall.
• 42:21
  S6: You can go on there and get articles and videos
• 42:24
  S6: and everything you need right now. This is a one
• 42:26
  S6: stop place, man. Guys. Text winning to 805 78. 98.
• 42:33
  S6: One Word winning 805. 5578. 98.
• 42:38
  S1: Standing on the rock. Each and every day, you're listening
• 42:42
  S1: to cast and crew.
• 42:44
  S6: You look at a guy like this guy we're talking
• 42:46
  S6: with right now and you think, wow, he must have
• 42:49
  S6: had a great start. I mean, he must have had
• 42:51
  S6: this anchor man. I mean, this firm foundation, his mom
• 42:56
  S6: and dad must have been rock solid with Jesus. You
• 42:58
  S6: know what? Some stories prove that our God can change everything, right, Ali?
• 43:04
  S4: Yeah. We've got Jim Daly with us right now. He's
• 43:06
  S4: the president and chief executive officer of focus on the family,
• 43:10
  S4: well known International Christian Organization. Tell us a little bit
• 43:14
  S4: about your story. Start from the beginning because you did
• 43:17
  S4: not have what many would consider a any sort of
• 43:20
  S4: a privileged childhood.
• 43:22
  S8: No. Uh, and that's okay. Let me start there. That
• 43:26
  S8: God had a plan for me. I got a short
• 43:28
  S8: stick to draw, but that's okay. You got to get
• 43:31
  S8: to the point where you say, Lord, if you want
• 43:32
  S8: me to walk this, I will walk it. And that's
• 43:34
  S8: the happy ending. But the beginning was tough. Orphan kid.
• 43:38
  S8: My mom and dad divorced when I was five. She
• 43:41
  S8: remarried a horrible stepdad when I was eight. He was
• 43:45
  S8: really terrible. My mom died of cancer a year and
• 43:48
  S8: a half after they got married, so I was probably
• 43:50
  S8: nine and a half right around there. And, uh, the
• 43:53
  S8: day of her funeral, we got back and Hank, our stepfather,
• 43:58
  S8: came out of the back bedroom with his bags packed
• 44:01
  S8: and said, you know, I can't take the stress. I'm
• 44:03
  S8: leaving and I'm nine years old going, what do I do?
• 44:07
  S8: And I ended up in foster care. Not a great situation,
• 44:11
  S8: a lot of turmoil in that foster care. In fact,
• 44:14
  S8: six months in, the social worker met us for the
• 44:16
  S8: first time. She was a wise woman, probably 25 years old,
• 44:21
  S8: and she came to assess our situation. And she looked
• 44:24
  S8: at me and said, you know, we got a problem.
• 44:26
  S8: And I thought to myself, wow, an adult that actually
• 44:29
  S8: sees what's real. I thought I was the only one
• 44:31
  S8: that could see it. And she looked at me and said, well, Mr.
• 44:34
  S8: Real said you tried to kill him. And she's looking
• 44:37
  S8: at me. And I'm like, how? Well, he said, you
• 44:40
  S8: tried to push him off a cliff. And I said, well,
• 44:42
  S8: we we live in Morongo Valley now. I'm in fourth
• 44:45
  S8: grade dealing with that. Oh, and, uh, you know, the
• 44:49
  S8: thing rolls on. I was there a year. My bio
• 44:51
  S8: dad reconnected with us. He was still dealing with alcoholism,
• 44:55
  S8: but my sister and I moved in with him. And
• 44:58
  S8: then I lived there a year. My sister turned 18,
• 45:01
  S8: I was probably 11, and I had to tell him
• 45:05
  S8: that I didn't want to live with him anymore. My
• 45:07
  S8: siblings thought that would be best, so I moved in
• 45:09
  S8: with my brother, who had just married his 16 year
• 45:13
  S8: old pregnant girlfriend. So that was the household. I remember
• 45:16
  S8: saying to her, what do I what do I call you?
• 45:18
  S8: And she looked at me and said, well, you can
• 45:19
  S8: call me mom. And I'm thinking, I'm closer to your
• 45:22
  S8: age than my brother. Oh, so that, you know, I
• 45:25
  S8: guess it just shows the chaos of what family is now.
• 45:29
  S8: Many people experience some portion of that. And I you know,
• 45:33
  S8: the good news was I had a great football coach,
• 45:35
  S8: Paul Morrow. He passed away not long ago, and he
• 45:38
  S8: took me under his wing and took me to a
• 45:40
  S8: Fellowship of Christian Athletes camp. And this guy got down there.
• 45:44
  S8: I think he was the backup quarterback at that time
• 45:46
  S8: for the San Diego Chargers. Can't remember his name, but
• 45:50
  S8: he said, have men let you down? Has your father
• 45:52
  S8: let you down? Has your stepfather let you down?
• 45:54
  S6: Check, check.
• 45:56
  S8: This is crazy. And so, you know, I ended up
• 45:59
  S8: giving my life to the Lord at 15, but I
• 46:01
  S8: wobbled and I'm just grateful. The Lord never gave up
• 46:04
  S8: on me. And thankfully, I never gave up on him, man.
• 46:07
  S6: Jim Daly, our guest right now. Take us back there.
• 46:09
  S6: Were you a kid that was storing explosives, stuffing all
• 46:13
  S6: this stuff, or were you emoting? How were you processing
• 46:16
  S6: all that chaos?
• 46:17
  S8: You know, this is one of the toughest questions because
• 46:20
  S8: when I speak and give my testimony, people, men particularly,
• 46:23
  S8: will stand afterward and talk with me one on one
• 46:26
  S8: and it's, you know, 40, 50, 60 year old men
• 46:29
  S8: who are in tears and they're going, I've never been
• 46:32
  S8: able to forgive my father. And I don't know, I,
• 46:35
  S8: I guess it's the grace of God. I just never had.
• 46:38
  S8: I just felt like everybody's got trouble in this life.
• 46:43
  S8: And that's even as a ten, 11 year old, that's
• 46:45
  S8: how I saw my dad. He couldn't hold it together.
• 46:48
  S8: And I think the key was I never felt ownership
• 46:51
  S8: from my father's bad decisions. Wow. And that's one of
• 46:54
  S8: the things, you know, so many psychologists would say is
• 46:57
  S8: the kids take the guilt of those decisions, poor decisions
• 47:03
  S8: of their parents. And I just had the grace of
• 47:06
  S8: God to be able to understand that's this is his
• 47:10
  S8: life and I've got my life. And I'll tell you,
• 47:13
  S8: one of the profound things I learned was saying to
• 47:18
  S8: myself at that age, I want to be a better dad.
• 47:21
  S8: And I think, you know, almost makes.
• 47:23
  S6: Me cry.
• 47:24
  S8: Jim. Well, the thing that hits me, my two boys,
• 47:26
  S8: 25 and 23. And when we tip into a discussion
• 47:30
  S8: like this, they're like, dad, you are the best dad
• 47:33
  S8: we could ever have. And, you know, I was just
• 47:35
  S8: conscious of not breaking my promises, spending time with them,
• 47:41
  S8: being present with them. I never let my workload at
• 47:44
  S8: focus come home with me. So we did a lot
• 47:47
  S8: of fun things. We laughed a lot. And to me,
• 47:50
  S8: I could look at this position of focus and say,
• 47:52
  S8: look what I achieved. I could care less what counted most.
• 47:55
  S8: I mean, I'd go meet with presidents and senators. What
• 47:58
  S8: I loved was coming home in the driveway and having
• 48:01
  S8: my boys, when they were young come out and hug
• 48:03
  S8: my legs, and I'd walk in monster style and yes,
• 48:07
  S8: and we'd play and giggle and tickle and, you know,
• 48:09
  S8: all the fun stuff. That was the highlight of my day.
• 48:12
  S8: Not meeting a president.
• 48:14
  S4: Wow. Jim Daly, our guest right now, president and CEO
• 48:16
  S4: of focus on the family. If you're not familiar with
• 48:19
  S4: this ministry, global Christian ministry dedicated to helping families thrive.
• 48:23
  S4: I mean, you must have such a passion for what
• 48:26
  S4: you get to do. I mean, you're focused on the family,
• 48:28
  S4: helps build healthy marriages, helps parents grounded in biblical principles.
• 48:33
  S4: None of this was modeled for you necessarily, and that
• 48:36
  S4: many people feel like that, like they did not get
• 48:39
  S4: this modeled. But yet we can, by the power of Christ,
• 48:42
  S4: we can live a different story. Talk a little bit
• 48:45
  S4: about the mission and the heart behind what you get
• 48:47
  S4: to do.
• 48:48
  S8: You know, it starts with arrogance. I came here after
• 48:51
  S8: working in the business world. I did my MBA international paper.
• 48:56
  S8: I was moving up in the chain of command, and
• 48:58
  S8: my wife and I, she was going to UC Davis
• 49:00
  S8: as a pre-vet major, which is be careful there. If
• 49:04
  S8: you if you don't get into vet school, you go
• 49:06
  S8: to med school. Just think about that for a minute.
• 49:10
  S6: Okay. That's that's something.
• 49:12
  S8: Yeah, yeah, just check that certificate out on your doctor's wall. But, uh, anyway,
• 49:18
  S8: so we, you know, we pulled in, we got the
• 49:20
  S8: job at focus. We applied. It was a, it was
• 49:23
  S8: a real reduction in salary and all that. But Jean
• 49:26
  S8: and I drove up and this is the arrogance part.
• 49:28
  S8: We drove up here in Pomona actually, when focus was
• 49:31
  S8: still out there. And Jean and I went, let's give
• 49:33
  S8: this a year or two, like a missions trip. So,
• 49:36
  S8: I mean, I'm sure in God's ears he's hearing, oh,
• 49:39
  S8: isn't that nice that Jim and Jean are going to
• 49:41
  S8: give me two years of their life? Do they know
• 49:44
  S8: what's going to happen? So we weren't in this for
• 49:47
  S8: the long haul. We were just going to go back
• 49:49
  S8: into the business world and make enough money to get
• 49:52
  S8: a house and start a family and do all the
• 49:53
  S8: normal things. But it just kept rolling here. You know,
• 49:56
  S8: Doctor Dobson, I worked with him for 16 years before
• 49:59
  S8: he asked me to be president in 2005. But that
• 50:03
  S8: mission comment that you made, Ali, is so critical. Um,
• 50:07
  S8: you know, I was selling paper at international paper and
• 50:09
  S8: I thought to myself, that's a good thing. You can
• 50:11
  S8: be a witness for Christ no matter what you do.
• 50:15
  S8: So it doesn't diminish anybody's vocation. But when you get
• 50:18
  S8: that special call, man, do it unto the Lord as
• 50:23
  S8: we all should be doing. But for me to match
• 50:25
  S8: that pain with this passion was a gift from the
• 50:30
  S8: Lord that he allowed me to come in here and
• 50:32
  S8: be a part of something that is saving people's lives
• 50:35
  S8: every day in all kinds of ways. I mean, we've
• 50:38
  S8: had over 550,000 babies saved through option ultrasound. That's equipping
• 50:44
  S8: those clinics with ultrasound. I think we were the first
• 50:47
  S8: one in that area 20 years ago. 22 years ago,
• 50:50
  S8: we had a chapel speaker and she was saying she
• 50:53
  S8: was aborted but survived. Grew up in terrible poverty, horrible
• 50:57
  S8: situation in and out of foster care. And she said
• 51:01
  S8: Odyssey Adventures in Odyssey is what gave her that spiritual
• 51:04
  S8: underpinning to later become a Christian. That's a good.
• 51:08
  S6: Mission. Uh, Jim Daly, our guest right now, president and
• 51:11
  S6: CEO of focus on the family and a radically committed
• 51:15
  S6: Jesus follower. And all that proves is God's unmerited favor,
• 51:19
  S6: and his unparalleled power can be deposited in the heart
• 51:22
  S6: of anyone who would open it to the Lord. Coming
• 51:25
  S6: up here. Gym family. Oh man, things are changing quickly.
• 51:30
  S6: I want to get an overview of that and a
• 51:32
  S6: podcast that our man, Jim Daly has all that content
• 51:35
  S6: straight ahead. Boom. Crew. Hang on.
• 51:38
  S1: Start your day moving closer to Jesus. You're listening to
• 51:42
  S1: cast and crew.
• 51:43
  S6: So when you taste the grace of God. Ooh. Katy,
• 51:47
  S6: bar the door because you want others to get it.
• 51:49
  S6: And that's our man right now. Jim Daly. Uh, focus
• 51:52
  S6: on the family. You guys have been in the trenches.
• 51:55
  S6: Adventures in Odyssey. Uh, but, boy, the family, it's changed, man.
• 52:01
  S6: It's Overton's window. I don't even know how to put
• 52:04
  S6: words to it. Jim, what are you seeing shifting radically
• 52:07
  S6: with regard to the family? And how are you addressing it?
• 52:11
  S8: You know, one of the things we have counselors here
• 52:14
  S8: at focus on the family. So at the end of
• 52:15
  S8: the focus broadcast or many of the podcasts we do,
• 52:18
  S8: we give an invitation for people to call those counselors.
• 52:21
  S8: They do, you know, 1100 1500 calls a month. And
• 52:25
  S8: these are, you know, 30, 60 minute calls. They're a
• 52:28
  S8: full on counseling call and they're all state licensed counselors.
• 52:32
  S8: They're trying to help somebody go deeper and understand better
• 52:35
  S8: the dilemma they might be in and the way out,
• 52:38
  S8: the biblical path to get out. So even for your listeners, man,
• 52:41
  S8: if anybody needs help in that way, just call. It's free.
• 52:44
  S8: You know, the donors underwrite that. So in that context,
• 52:47
  S8: we watched those themes and for many years, LGBT issues
• 52:52
  S8: were at near the top, which seemed so disproportionate for
• 52:57
  S8: generally a Christian community, right. But it tended to be
• 53:00
  S8: around like grandparents who were calling and saying, we can't
• 53:02
  S8: see our grandson unless we put him in a dress.
• 53:05
  S8: Our adult children won't let them come to our house.
• 53:08
  S8: I mean, what's the biblical answer to that? And so
• 53:11
  S8: our counselors are, you know, trying to help these grandparents
• 53:14
  S8: or parents deal with the fallout of what's happening in
• 53:18
  S8: the culture right now. I would only say David Brooks,
• 53:21
  S8: his piece in the New York Times Heritage with their
• 53:24
  S8: release of, hey, guess what? The family is the most
• 53:27
  S8: critical thing we should be working on. Uh, Erica Kirk
• 53:31
  S8: at the memorial for Charlie Kirk saying if he ever
• 53:34
  S8: became president, he said his number one mission would be
• 53:38
  S8: to strengthen the American family. So there is a choir
• 53:42
  S8: now that is rising to say we see the data.
• 53:45
  S8: And when you look at all the social science, broken
• 53:49
  S8: families create broken culture. And we're living in it right now.
• 53:53
  S8: So we could talk about all the, you know, effects
• 53:56
  S8: of that. But basically the bottom line is children do
• 53:59
  S8: best in a loving two parent mom and dad family.
• 54:03
  S8: That's where they statistically do best. Does that mean everybody's
• 54:07
  S8: going to do well? No, it's just the best arrangement
• 54:10
  S8: for children to thrive. And you know, I overcame it.
• 54:14
  S8: So it's possible. I don't want single parent moms to go,
• 54:17
  S8: there's no hope. There is God. That's the hope. He
• 54:20
  S8: can take care of those wounds. But man, why start
• 54:24
  S8: in a deficit? Let's work on our marriages. Let's strengthen
• 54:27
  S8: our marriages, especially in the Christian community. And I think
• 54:31
  S8: the culture and the the whole country will be better
• 54:34
  S8: off for it.
• 54:35
  S4: Jim Daly, our guest right now from focus on the family.
• 54:37
  S4: We know, you know, we say often around here that
• 54:39
  S4: all truth is God's truth. So when you say something like, statistically,
• 54:43
  S4: children just do better with a mom and a dad
• 54:46
  S4: who are married, who live in the same house, that
• 54:48
  S4: almost is offensive to people because it sounds like very Christian,
• 54:53
  S4: and it is because it's God's truth. How do we
• 54:56
  S4: live in a culture where we live out our faith
• 54:59
  S4: and our values in a way that is winsome, in
• 55:02
  S4: a culture that's becoming increasingly hostile to the Christian worldview
• 55:06
  S4: without getting caught up in culture wars of tangential issues
• 55:11
  S4: that aren't the main thing. How do we keep the
• 55:13
  S4: main thing the main thing?
• 55:15
  S8: A biblical thought that I have been just thinking about
• 55:19
  S8: for a few years now really is Jesus in front
• 55:21
  S8: of Pontius Pilate? Think of Pontius Pilate. It may have
• 55:25
  S8: been a gold laden bowl. The water he washed his
• 55:28
  S8: hands in and said, you know, I'm washing my hands
• 55:31
  S8: of this. And Jesus is standing in front of him, beaten, scourged,
• 55:37
  S8: about to go to the cross. And you think about this,
• 55:41
  S8: and the Lord knows in 400 years the Roman Empire
• 55:45
  S8: is gone. He knows that. And yet he doesn't say anything.
• 55:49
  S8: He doesn't say, yeah, well, you know what, Pontius? Your
• 55:52
  S8: whole thing is coming down. And be sure to tell Caesar.
• 55:55
  S8: I'll make sure he doesn't have that confrontational viewpoint. And
• 55:59
  S8: I think it's a bit of an indication for us.
• 56:01
  S8: And what I mean by that is we've got to
• 56:03
  S8: speak truth. You know, they're in the Roman Empire. That's
• 56:06
  S8: a dictatorship. It's Caesar. And what Caesar says, we have
• 56:10
  S8: the benefit of living in a democratic republic. We can vote,
• 56:15
  S8: we can persuade. We can ask people to consider the
• 56:19
  S8: ways and the people that they want in office. To
• 56:21
  S8: your point, what is good and what is useful in
• 56:25
  S8: how we construct a culture? And I believe I think
• 56:28
  S8: as you believe, Christian values are the way to go.
• 56:31
  S8: You know, a loving mom and dad, and it produces
• 56:34
  S8: healthy children and they grow up and they do the same.
• 56:37
  S8: And we have a productive culture. So I think the
• 56:40
  S8: answer to the question is, don't take the bait. Like
• 56:45
  S8: Jesus didn't take Pontius bait to get into that discussion.
• 56:50
  S8: But we have influence. We can exercise that influence. We
• 56:54
  S8: should vote. We can be engaged, talk to people. The
• 56:58
  S8: one thing that I have found is if you're just silent,
• 57:01
  S8: if they have shamed you into a place of not
• 57:03
  S8: saying anything. It's hard for the Lord to put wind
• 57:07
  S8: in that sail. You've got to be moving. You got
• 57:09
  S8: to be talking with people willing to talk to people.
• 57:12
  S8: But here's the key. Don't go out of your way
• 57:14
  S8: to be hated. Let the scripture do that. I mean,
• 57:17
  S8: we in the Christian community just have a great skill
• 57:20
  S8: set of being obnoxious at times. Yeah. And I don't
• 57:23
  S8: see that in the scripture anyway. In fact, it talks
• 57:25
  S8: about speaking to the world with grace, with truth, but
• 57:29
  S8: being generous of spirit. Those kinds of things. Yeah. I
• 57:33
  S8: remember speaking at a book signing for refocus, which is
• 57:37
  S8: the name of the podcast, and a gay activist was there.
• 57:40
  S8: It was at a liberal bookstore here in Colorado Springs,
• 57:42
  S8: and this guy put his hand up after I presented.
• 57:45
  S8: He said, you know, when are the Christians going to
• 57:47
  S8: get caught up to the 21st century and kind of
• 57:50
  S8: get up on, you know, ahead of your sexual ethics?
• 57:52
  S8: You're like antiquated people. I said, you know, that's really
• 57:56
  S8: kind of you to want to make me the editor
• 57:58
  S8: of the book, but I'm just a follower. I didn't
• 58:00
  S8: write it. I'm a Christian. I believe in Christ and
• 58:03
  S8: I follow his system, his rules, his beliefs, his communication
• 58:09
  S8: to us, his teaching. And I'm simply a follower, so
• 58:12
  S8: you might want to take it up with him. And
• 58:13
  S8: he sat down and said, Touche.
• 58:15
  S6: Yeah. No, that's that's powerful. You know what? I want
• 58:18
  S6: us to drill down one more second on this before
• 58:19
  S6: we let you go. And then we've got a keyword
• 58:21
  S6: for you. Boom crew. I did a post that went
• 58:25
  S6: somewhat viral, and I'm going to tell you what I
• 58:29
  S6: had to spend my time doing with this post. And
• 58:32
  S6: it's sad. I had to protect Christians from being stupid.
• 58:38
  S6: I was blocking Christians who were. And I use this
• 58:43
  S6: term here. Angry evangelicals and angry evangelicals have never turned
• 58:47
  S6: anyone on to Jesus. That's beautiful. What you just shared
• 58:50
  S6: about what Jesus did before Pilate and Paul before Agrippa, right?
• 58:55
  S6: He didn't blast him. He brought conviction, but he was
• 59:00
  S6: rather loving. I want you to put up a warning
• 59:02
  S6: flag here, Jim, from your perspective, why angry evangelicalism ain't
• 59:07
  S6: going to cut it going forward.
• 59:09
  S8: It divides the heart. I mean, one thing I say
• 59:12
  S8: when I give a speech in front of an audience
• 59:14
  S8: is how many people here love the Lord? Boom. All
• 59:16
  S8: the hands go up. I said, okay. Now, how many
• 59:19
  S8: of you came to Christ in this way? The person
• 59:22
  S8: you were talking to before you were a Christian said,
• 59:25
  S8: you know what? We don't like you. You don't follow
• 59:28
  S8: the the patterns that make human flourishing the right way,
• 59:32
  S8: the healthy way. You're anti-God, you're this, you're that. How
• 59:36
  S8: many of you said, wow, I feel so hated by
• 59:40
  S8: the Christians. I decided to become one of them. It
• 59:43
  S8: doesn't happen that way. I've never had anybody ever. Everybody
• 59:47
  S8: says it was their kindness. Those Christians that talked with me,
• 59:52
  S8: they had this odd love for me, even though I
• 59:54
  S8: didn't believe what they believed or I spit in their face,
• 59:57
  S8: whatever it may have been. That's the power of God.
• 1:00:00
  S8: And when you look at the world and you look
• 1:00:02
  S8: at our own hearts as human beings, I mean, when
• 1:00:05
  S8: you treat people with sincerity, with love, like God talked about,
• 1:00:10
  S8: like the Lord talked about. He's written the DNA in
• 1:00:13
  S8: our hearts spiritually. I think there's a secret code in
• 1:00:16
  S8: there that our hearts crack when people treat us kindly
• 1:00:20
  S8: and lovingly. He's put it in us and even some
• 1:00:23
  S8: of the hardest LGBT people, or leftist people or anti-God people.
• 1:00:28
  S8: I've been with them. I've seen it happen. I've seen
• 1:00:31
  S8: them cry when they feel loved.
• 1:00:33
  S4: Jim Daly, our guest. Focus on the family. If you
• 1:00:36
  S4: want more text, focus to (800) 555-7898, text focus to 805 557898.
• 1:00:46
  S4: We'll link you to that podcast and also give you
• 1:00:48
  S4: the information for that counseling line that he mentioned is
• 1:00:51
  S4: available through focus on the family. Just text focus to
• 1:00:53
  S4: 805 557898.