Latest / Cannabis School / This Wasn’t a Failure. It Was Tuition.

Transcript

This Wasn’t a Failure. It Was Tuition. · Cannabis School

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I'm Brandon. And I'm Jesse, we're cannabis
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school. Having cannabis infused
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conversations. With everyday.
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People. Cannabis companies.
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Celebrities. And your mom?
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Welcome to the sesh. Smoke 2 joints yesterday like I.
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Went hey, that's impressive for you, I feel like.
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Oh dude I've been smoking nothing but joints lately like I
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went to the store. You went and got a thing of.
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Well, I got it and and it I was like, hey, do you have anything
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with filters? No, just papers.
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OK, Yeah. 'Cause I'm like, you know what,
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you got to roll. You got to learn how my, my
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joints have gotten way better, way better.
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No canoeing, pretty solid smoking.
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Sometimes I got to light about halfway through so it tells me
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there's a break. I hate when I I still every once
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in a blue moon will get a canoe. It's not very often, right, but
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like out of the last, let's see, I had two of those packages,
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There's 32 in each. I'm probably over halfway, so
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probably 45 joints that I've rolled.
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I probably had two or three canoe.
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Yeah, it's not, It's not bad. Well, watching Bijan like
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tapping and packing, but lightly packing, not not trying to do a
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hard pack. Do you hard pack?
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Mine is actually probably what I would consider a hard pack, but
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most of it is done after. But The thing is like when you
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smoke it, you don't get cough. I don't get cough because it's
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so smooth that the transfer there's no.
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It's almost like because of these things, there's a.
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Would you do me a favor and grind that?
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Yeah. Why?
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My hand's not very strong. What happened?
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My long wording accident. I 'cause I so my hand's pretty
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bruised there. I landed there.
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Wait a minute, you got in an accident?
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You didn't tell me that bro. I thought I told you I got a
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little bit of Rd. rash. Fuck dude, are you OK?
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Yeah, I I have more bruising than Rd. rash.
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Oh, that's worse. Yeah, the the road rash, worst
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one is right here. And then on my shoulder, which
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is just a little, that finger was bleeding a bit from there it
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split next to the fingernail. I got like a tiny itsy bitsy
2:03
scrape there. I got a bruise on my hip.
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My shoulders got some Rd. rash. Ouch.
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But my, my palm, I realized like, that bruise is pretty
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solid. So as soon as I had gotten home
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and I was trying to smoke, I was like, flour's gonna be the best.
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And I had to grind flour. No one else was home.
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And I was like, it's so hard to fucking turn this.
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Dude that's horrible I'm so sorry.
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Oh, that's OK, let me. Think about this so far.
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Super relaxing. It's not.
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It's not. It's an interesting flavor I
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haven't gotten like a ton of. Root beer?
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No, I I get it through the vaporizer.
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My other vaporizer, I got it yesterday.
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Like there's a subtle hint. Of it, it's slightly sweet at
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first, that's it. But the more you smoke it, the
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more you can you can tell about it.
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But I like it in that sense. It's a relaxing one.
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Very relaxing, very chill. You know, all of us are just
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human no matter what we're doing.
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Who cares what we do for a living or what possessions we
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have? Because at the end of the day we
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are just the child inside and we're terrified of things and
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we're excited about things and sometimes we get way too caught
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up in our our pretend land of what could be.
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Yeah, like I had to stop myself. Oh dude.
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I got I so I finished. I just read Becoming by Michelle
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Obama and then I started Power of Now by Eckhart Tully.
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I swear I've read it before once, but I've just been Libby.
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The app, it connects with all the libraries around here and
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you can go through all of their audiobooks for free when they're
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available in that. So I was just going through
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what's available right now. I also have wait lists of ones
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that I'm on the wait list for, but I have wait.
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Books. Crazy, I like that.
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Because it's all these ones around here and tons of people
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want to listen to it, so. You know they only give you so
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many slots. They're like, well, this all
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these libraries only have 10 copies total, so only 10 people
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simultaneously. So you get that license for
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that. I like that actually, because
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then it makes you like, there's been some books that I've I've
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wanted to recommend to you that are solely focused on who you
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are. Like one book that I would
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really highly recommend that you read is called The Alter Ego
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Effect I have. Have you once, But it's been a
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minute, Todd. Herman yeah, do it multiple
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times. Some of these books are like.
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I treat them like. Oh yeah, you have to go back
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more than once. Well, and almost immediately,
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like, you know, the Chris Voss system, like learning his Black
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Swan theory, like I, I went online and I was like, what do
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you learn from it? It's just his book.
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And I'm like. Yeah, it is, but it's just
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repetition and you know, maybe. It's exactly that.
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What the hell would that workshop or a workbook that?
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You need it's like martial arts. I I started like the concept of
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what I'm doing right now. It's the repetition 100% helps
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get the well it. Helps you to get over DoorDash
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mentality right. I've been, I've been picking on
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DoorDash because it's like the easiest way.
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Like, you know, Amazon or anything like that, Those can be
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imperfect. But DoorDash is instant and
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immediate. And people get fucking mad if
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the food isn't just right. And they'll blame you for it.
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Like you did something like, yeah, I mean, I shouldn't have
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rubbed the head of my Dick all over your burrito.
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You know, I was getting panicky this morning and I was just
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like, what the fuck? And you know, I'm not doing what
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I feel is is a strong meditation for me.
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And that's prayer. I haven't been praying at all.
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I just been so focused on anything to keep me from feeling
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what happened. And the problem with meditation
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or prayer or that is you remain stagnant.
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Your thoughts are usually not racing.
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There's time in that which thoughts creep in and reality
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sets in and it's like, oh shit, wait, I wasn't.
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I wasn't thinking about all of that because I've been trying to
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keep myself busy with all of these other things to just go,
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hey, don't let reality set in. No, yesterday I probably fucking
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smoke, like smoked three joints, which is not regular for me. 3,
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three, within three hours I was just fucking puffing, breaking,
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dude, I was, I was just so tense and tight and I couldn't figure
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out why. Yeah.
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And it was this morning it hit me, you know, I'm, I'm sitting
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down and I'm just kind of like, hey, why are we panicking?
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We got to just pull back. And I just realized I'm like,
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'cause you never really owned it.
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You said, OK, you're fine with it, but you didn't own it.
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And owning it means letting it go.
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Just let it go. And for me, I was really
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frustrated with myself. I, I felt like a failure.
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I've been feeling like a failure anyways for months, 'cause this
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is like, you know, it, it's, it goes to show that not everybody
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can do anything. You know, it's like what people
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used to say to me or on they said, you should get into sales.
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You're really good at talking to people.
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And I didn't understand what that meant.
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I was just like fucking dumb ass.
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We all talk to people. But just because you can do one
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thing in there doesn't mean you can do all things in there.
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And even though I learned a lot about it, I got really
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intelligent with with benefits, it still felt extremely foreign
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to me. And everybody who was there had
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at least three to four years experience in the in the
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industry and I had nothing. And I'm like.
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Hey, you're fresh in there. And I was, I had high
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expectations of myself, super high.
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I don't want to use all of this because we've got enough for
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like one more ball. OK.
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And I want to have enough worthy.
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What do you think feels good? It takes a while, but once it
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does, it's really nice. When you do the hand vaporizer
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same way you'll be like, did I just smoke hemp because it's
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just oh. You said it was.
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Yeah, it was a slow. So.
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Slow saddle. And then when to hit, like now
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you're starting to feel it and it's like on the top of the
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head. And it.
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Yep, it's very gentle and it like dries out the sides.
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Like you feel like you've been like either crying or you got
8:11
sleepies and you're like, what is that?
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Like it's so strange but. So to mix it first, do you want
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to mix it with some apple fritter or do you want to go
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with black Maple, I think? Apple Fritter 'cause we've done
8:23
that before. I want that pure.
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I don't want to fuck it up. That, that sounds amazing.
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We'll do that after this and I'll take some lemon juice or
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we'll do the root beer again. Yeah, we'll just keep going with
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the root beer 'cause we're pretty high on it.
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Yeah, yeah. But yeah, dude, it it was just
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this. I needed to accept that this was
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a failure, but it was a try. That's not a fail.
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You tried, you learned, and you pushed past it.
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I think it's an education that's like the I don't consider the
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investments or the business that I tried to start.
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I don't consider those failures. I consider them very expensive
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education. Yeah, people pay 10s of
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thousands of dollars for. To learn what I've learned.
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And it's interesting because it's just it's that perception
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of changing, going, hey, it's not a loss.
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It's not this. That was an education.
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I learned immense amounts of God damn it.
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Would you grind that for me? Thank you.
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Brett hurt his hands for. Everyone at home, I had a little
9:33
long boarding faux pas and busted my hand a little.
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It's pretty bruised and the back's got some Rd. rash and
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Jesse just spilled the. No.
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Just a little bit root beer on top.
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It's OK, We will get some root beer for another time.
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Get a whole nother 8th of it, yeah.
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Fuck. That's OK, don't even worry
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about. It I didn't, oh God damn it.
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We'll just get a new 8th of it. My high ass.
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I should have let you know that that was still on top.
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You know what dude, I was just not paying attention.
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I apologize that I. Mean we don't normally think
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that there's buds in the top of the grinder so.
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I was just trying to check 'cause I'm like, I know so much
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shit gets caught. And hilarious that Jesse's got
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some green sticky pants now. It smells so good, it smells
10:19
like apple fritters. I love that, doesn't it?
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Oh wait, I'm excited. I'm going to smell it and see.
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It smells like apple fritters. Oh that is delicious, dude.
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You know what I really like about this root beer?
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It. And we cut this part out because
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we'll put it in the episode. But I really like how taste and
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smells are with this one because it's really strong.
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Every like that smell. I mean, weed smells good, but
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weed smells really fucking good right now, you got to admit.
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Yeah, that smells so good. And it smells like apple.
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Fritters smell that again. With wheat weedy apple fritters.
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Oh, I. Know.
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Coming soon to the Cannabis School bakery.
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Oh my God that would be so tasty.
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I would love to do. Oh dude, you know what'd be
11:01
cool? Cannabis school coffee shops.
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Oh dude, that would be like the best of both worlds where every
11:08
you know, you can pick up like remember how juice and Java used
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to be back in the day? Like they had all of these like
11:13
cups with random shit over there, but all of them have like
11:17
joint holders, right? And outside, like in rec states,
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they could have these where you could smoke outside, enjoy a cup
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of coffee and foods that change quarterly.
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So you only offer three things and that's just for the quarter,
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like a really nice Michelin restaurant, right?
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The menu is the menu you don't get like, can I substitute?
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No, no. No you can't.
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Nope. This is it, right?
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And then you go there and then while you're there, like you
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partner, it's like next to a dispensary and you.
11:51
Can get your products there come over.
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And if you talk about us and they talk about you, discounts
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across the aisle. I would love cannabis school
12:00
coffee shop honestly. Dude and we just play our
12:03
episodes and chill music. Never thought about a cannabis.
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I just thought of that dude. I've thought about cannabis ones
12:09
but like. Cannabis School.
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Yeah, Cannabis School Cafe. Oh man.
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Dude, that would be the shit. My here's my concern.
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I really am particular now with beans and I don't know.
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Dude, you, I mean, do you control all of it?
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You control all of. It I would have to roast beans
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and I would have to get a different scale roaster that
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could roast large enough. No, no, to learn that what you
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would need to do remember right, we don't do everything like you
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get to a certain. Point, but I love roasting.
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Oh, I know you do. But then what you need to do is
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find yourself like a president to run the rest of the
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operations while you're just over there in production.
12:49
Like I saw this show. I don't know why I've been
12:51
getting into it. Suits, just started watching
12:54
Suits. I love that.
12:56
And I was like. Have you seen it before?
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No. Oh, OK, I like that.
13:00
Show and I was like I I love the concept.
13:03
You know the guy's dealing weed and he gets busted and then all
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of a sudden becomes a fake ass lawyer.
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Right. Just 'cause he's incredibly.
13:10
He just photogenic memory. Yeah, he just memorizes
13:13
everything. But it's so it's just like, it's
13:17
kind of nice 'cause it's like the friends of law.
13:20
Attorneys. 'Cause it's like, it's so
13:22
unrealistic. The guy Harvey is just like
13:25
unbeatable. You can't beat him.
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And when he's beat, you're just like, Oh no.
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And he's like, he comes back next time and he's just like,
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guess what bitches? My Dick grew and he just like
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flops it on the table and it cracks it.
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Yeah, that, that is a real a good show.
13:39
I've enjoyed that one, like quite a bit.
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Emily and I watched that years ago.
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It's on, It's on Netflix. Yeah.
13:45
So I'm watching it and I'm like, you know what?
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It's it used to be USA, right? Maybe so I never.
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Watched a show? I probably watched it on Netflix
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as well. Did you ever watch that show
13:54
Wings? No, I've never heard of that.
13:57
Yeah, dude, it was a time in TV history that just came out with
14:01
the weirdest show. Wings was about a small airport,
14:06
like 2 plane airport was just for yeah, in in the 90s.
14:11
And it's about these two brothers who run this airport.
14:14
And there's cute little lady, she's from the South, right?
14:17
Of course she's super nice. And then they have the guys like
14:20
Operation Guy, but the brothers own it.
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And it's just dumb. It's like, who the fuck is
14:27
hanging out in this small ass airport?
14:29
These people. It's like the show Night Court I
14:32
ever heard night. I've heard of it, I've never
14:34
seen it. So I guess back in the day
14:36
during like, you know, 60s, seventies, 80s, they'd probably
14:39
stop it at late 90s. They used to have like if you
14:42
got thrown in jail, you could see a, you could see a judge
14:46
that night. What?
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Yeah. Holy shit that's crazy.
14:51
Imagine not having to sit in jail for an entire week or two
14:55
waiting to see a judge. Yeah, there's like simple stupid
14:58
shit, right? And it was just this civil
15:00
course that, I mean, it was just all civil cases.
15:03
Yeah, right. Just misdemeanors and shit like
15:05
that. Oh yeah, small.
15:06
Stuff and all it's about is this judge his his bailiff who's this
15:11
giant lurpy dude and man and a woman attorneys and that's it.
15:16
And just random stories thrown in there to break up the
15:20
monotony so they don't have to focus too much on the
15:23
characters, but just enough for you to pay attention to them,
15:26
right? These were the shows in the 80s
15:28
and 90s, like a welcome back Cotter.
15:31
It's about this guy who's never gonna graduate high school.
15:34
What the fuck? Yeah, it's in the 70s, right?
15:36
I mean you got Sanford and Son about this racist old black guy
15:41
and and it it was hilarious by red fox.
15:44
He was like I just funny ass comedian.
15:46
I was so young and my parents didn't really watch any sort of
15:50
sitcom or show that I watched. No I had ever seen.
15:53
I had a flower child mom and a dad who didn't understand the
15:56
American world, so he had no idea.
15:59
Like what he thought was taboo was completely different 'cause
16:03
they're, they were decades behind the US, right?
16:06
I mean, they were still excited about The Beatles if they
16:09
thought they were gonna come tour there.
16:10
When I was young I was thinking, I'm like, all that I remember is
16:14
like Bugs Bunny and scooby-doo and shit.
16:18
So it wasn't until like anything from that era, I take that back,
16:23
my parents had like Mash and Hogan's Heroes and shit that
16:28
they got when I was in my teens maybe.
16:30
And MASH is a fucked up show dude.
16:33
Like when I was a kid, I'd just watch it and you'd look for the
16:35
funny moments in there. Yeah, you don't realize when
16:37
you're young, Emily. I love.
16:39
Hawkeye, you know, I mean, he was like the best.
16:42
He's always just giving everybody and Radar and the
16:45
cross dressing guy, 'cause he kept trying to get out of the
16:47
Army for Section 8 and I'm like, that's so cool, like.
16:51
It was really funny. It was a funny show. 3's company
16:54
was one of the raciest shows. They had a whole different.
16:58
It was a different time, it was a different food.
17:01
I mean, it was I I, and I only say this because I think it was.
17:06
This sounds really weird, but swinging then was probably a lot
17:10
healthier than it is today because because they could
17:14
separate themselves from it, they didn't have to worry that
17:19
somebody was going to talk about it.
17:21
They could just. Be in, be publicized like we
17:24
live in a very, I mean, everyone has a magic box of their own,
17:28
you know, shares data and information with everyone.
17:32
Well, in the set. Got him.
17:33
Yeah, Apple fritters get you a little bit in the back of the
17:35
throat there. No, but it's like the fear that
17:39
people have today of what may come out, like about our friend
17:42
that we were speaking about earlier, you know, and you worry
17:46
about what's going to happen to me if I become famous.
17:51
And I get that because we see a lot of examples of what not to
17:55
do, but I think it's almost like a moth to a flame when you know
18:00
that and you keep pursuing it, you keep going towards that,
18:04
towards that inevitable end because you talk about it as if
18:07
it's pre manifest destiny. Oh, I'm going to be famous.
18:11
Oh, I'm going to have all this stuff come out instead of you
18:14
don't know what's going to happen.
18:15
You've no clue. And.
18:17
Or the life you will live and and.
18:19
What? This is a good combo by the way.
18:21
I'm like. Yeah, apple fritters and root
18:22
beer. GMO, GMO root beer.
18:25
Lovely combo. Yeah, it's like super heady.
18:29
But not like super pressure heady just like.
18:33
Thoughts. Head focused like it's a very
18:36
elevated I I do feel it in my body, but I feel very much in my
18:41
head as far as not thoughts and racing thoughts but.
18:45
To what I was saying is that oh fuck.
18:48
Oh, like giving yourself a manifest destiny of your.
18:52
Future and this is your. The shit that's going to unfold.
18:55
If you believe it's going to happen, it's going to happen.
18:58
Well, we give energy to those things and then that, I don't
19:02
know, I kind of thought about these things on like they talk
19:04
about quantum and the fact that none of the universe really
19:09
would exist without the observation of consciousness, so
19:13
that it's a collective of consciousness that has created
19:16
the reality that we're in. But isn't it cool Like when,
19:19
when you talk about that, when you talk about the space-time
19:22
continuum, what James Webber telescope is showing them is
19:26
completely destroying what they thought was real.
19:29
Oh yeah, it's been. It's because it's, Oh yeah, it's
19:33
expanding and contracting in different areas.
19:35
And we don't even know if we're in the middle of a black hole.
19:38
Like they, they keep, they're like.
19:41
There's this amazing woman who does science videos on TikTok,
19:45
hall or space videos. Oh, does she have brown hair?
19:49
She does, yeah. I watch her.
19:50
Emily will send me her videos all the time.
19:52
I love her videos. I'm like so intrigued in mind
19:56
blowing. This is so fascinating, but with
19:59
like that quantum idea and it's this I, you know, it has me
20:03
thinking of like, would that reality would that portion of
20:08
multiverse or whatever it is. Would that unfold if we didn't
20:12
invest or push that energy into that reality?
20:16
All right. I, I don't know, but it's that
20:19
concept of like, is that potentially part of what causes
20:22
that reality to happen? Is the energy, the thoughts that
20:26
manifest whatever you would consider that idea of like, hey,
20:30
I'm bringing this into fruition by continuously thinking and you
20:35
know it's like, hey if I think about divorce all the time and
20:38
or breaking up or if my. Spouse is going to be unfaithful
20:42
or something like that. Is that fear going to perpetuate
20:45
something else that might cause that to happen because of
20:49
whatever my reactions or thoughts or the way I treat
20:52
them, is that going to actually 'cause that to happen?
20:56
Because if I didn't think that I might react or treat them
20:59
differently in all of these situations?
21:00
So is this manifest destiny by me causing this shit in my life?
21:06
Yes, I I truly believe that because you know, it's the
21:11
argument of truth, because I, I've said that a long time ago
21:14
and I keep saying it. It's like there is no truth.
21:17
There's just the further knowledge because you're what
21:20
you believe is true can be completely upended tomorrow.
21:24
You think about those who have faith-based crisis, right?
21:27
Because they play so much stock in a religion, Not the faith,
21:31
but in a religion. In a truth, I think that's what
21:35
it is, is any. But even with scientists,
21:38
probably they have this dogma that is so set that this is the
21:43
truth, this is my truth. I have built this and then I.
21:46
Put all this time into it. And then if someone else comes
21:49
and disproves their truth, like do we have a scientist that get
21:53
suicidal and depressed and and like really struggle in that
21:57
aspect because hey, my truth now is not true.
22:01
Is that the same type of struggle that these people going
22:04
through a religious crisis have of like shit, my reality, my
22:08
truth is not true. And that is so hard to face
22:12
because how are you supposed to approach that in a life that
22:15
we've truth is safety. Truth is like, hey, I'm right,
22:20
I'm I'm going to live. I'm not going to die.
22:23
Because if I'm wrong, well, that puts me unsafe, like all of
22:26
these things. But we don't often live in that
22:29
reality at this moment. It's more of like, but it's the
22:32
animal inside us of like, if I am uncorrect, if I'm not this,
22:37
then I become unsafe and unsafety relates to death or
22:40
harm or, you know, whatever. So there's this unconscious fear
22:44
of like, I need to be this. I need to be right.
22:48
I have to have this truth because without this, I'm dead.
22:51
I I'm something in me is afraid I might die.
22:55
Well and and chasing truth creates jealousy and because of
22:59
that jealousy it creates conflict which creates harm.
23:04
I'm right and you're wrong, right?
23:05
If what I know is true? Well, do you know what I know is
23:08
true? Or do you think something
23:10
different than my truth? And that's the thing too, the,
23:12
the, the seeking of truth. I think that's what's caused
23:15
more conflict than anything else, right?
23:17
You see, it's religion, seeking of knowledge and to better
23:21
ourself 'cause like it's, you know, it's cool like when you
23:24
discover something or you find something, say like a let's take
23:28
this example. We're living out in the
23:30
wilderness. Everything is shut down and
23:34
we're now like backpacking through areas with our families,
23:37
trying to figure out where we're going to call home, what we're
23:40
going to build into a home. And as we're doing that.
23:44
I've thought of that so many times in life.
23:46
Right. But you're, you're doing it
23:48
because everything is shut down and you find a pack.
23:53
You find this big patch like a brier of strawberries and
23:58
they're wild strawberries. Somebody had come up there and
24:01
planted them for some unknown reason.
24:03
Then you also find that there's other vegetables planted around
24:07
there, really cool big potatoes, all this stuff.
24:10
So you just discovered where you're going to live and you're
24:12
going to learn how to be able to cultivate that.
24:14
Well, now another group comes along and immediately it's we
24:18
got to fucking kill these people because they're going to kind of
24:21
try and take our shit. But even when hostility starts
24:25
to show itself, if you come with discernment, right?
24:29
I mean, you're, you're like, hey, I'm, I don't know if this
24:33
is going to work, but I'm going to give you the benefit of the
24:36
doubt that you're another person existing and you would wish to
24:40
find somebody who would be warm and welcoming.
24:44
And we have a bounty of it. And with more hands creates more
24:49
product so we can all start to prosper from it.
24:53
And the idea of what's mine and yours is more of children
24:58
fighting over a toy in a sandbox than anything else.
25:02
It when we go down to the most primary thing.
25:05
I mean not war or anything like that.
25:07
A fucking toy and one kid desires it more than the other.
25:12
But that's just learning to share, you know?
25:15
But that's what we realized. Like if you go way back, way,
25:18
way back, the, the ability to survive was with community.
25:23
It wasn't independently. So you needed that community to
25:27
do it. So in that instance of like
25:29
going out, I think yes, you might have this fear, but they
25:33
also might have that same fear because it's, it's the unknown,
25:37
it's someone new. And hey, I, I don't know how
25:39
this person is going to act. And yeah, I can bring whatever
25:43
perception or, you know, preconceived notion that I might
25:46
have. I can assume that maybe trust
25:49
maybe that person is like me and that if I treat them like me,
25:56
maybe they will be here to help and realize, hey, this is a much
26:01
better opportunity if we're together.
26:03
Dude, it's, it's looking for the opportunities to give and it,
26:06
and it's not the concept of the judeo-christian belief of giving
26:09
like whatever you have, like, you know, money or food or
26:13
something like that. You you have to know that when
26:15
you give it is most important thing you can give is your time.
26:20
It's the most valuable thing in existence that we have as mortal
26:24
beings. It's the most valuable and I
26:26
think that's what we miss is so many people.
26:29
It's like, oh, you know, we, we think back and I don't know,
26:33
like your mid 40s. I'm almost 40 and.
26:37
Late 40s. I'm late 40s, I'm past 45.
26:42
Yeah, but that's 45 is center, but I would consider like 44 to
26:47
like 47 to be mid 40s. Middle-aged, I mean, I'm over
26:52
middle-aged. Like, you know, new middle age.
26:54
Middle-aged is late 30s now that's middle-aged.
26:58
Yeah, I know. Not crazy, dude.
27:00
Oh yeah, you're. Middle-aged, I know.
27:02
You're middle-aged, bro. Yeah, but when I thought about,
27:06
I mean, I talked about this the other day because we did dinner
27:09
with Kaylee and Preston. Kaylee just had a great
27:13
grandparent die. Oh wow.
27:15
She's in her mid 20s. I was like holy shit my last
27:20
great died when I was 8. Like, his funeral was on my 8th
27:24
birthday. I don't remember meeting any
27:26
other great. That was the only one I remember
27:28
ever meeting. Yeah.
27:29
So to have a great grandpa in your mid 20s that you're still
27:34
like. Well, it's, you know.
27:36
That's insane. You bringing that up, I mean
27:38
that that brings up mortality. And I used to think of mortality
27:43
as like fucking ticking time bomb is what it is, right?
27:47
And I used to worry about my parents dying.
27:51
And I've got a niece. She's 27 now.
27:55
OK. No, 2626 or 2726.
27:59
And she wanted to have a family by now.
28:02
She wanted to have started a family by now.
28:04
And she had this guy and he just fucking towed the line forever
28:07
and just kept towing her along. And she's like, this is what I
28:10
want. And now, you know, she'll
28:13
probably get married. She's dating and everything and
28:16
she'll probably get married soon.
28:17
She's gorgeous, just the sweetest person in the world and
28:22
she, you know, when she starts having her babies, that's my
28:25
dad's grand great grandson or great granddaughter isn't.
28:29
That crazy? Well, that, yeah.
28:31
And before it used to scare me. Like fuck, that means he's going
28:35
to die soon. No like it.
28:38
My dad was 60, I think 68 when his mother died.
28:44
So that's why it's just historically you're concerned
28:47
because his mom. No, because I was just like,
28:50
that's still a lot of fucking time.
28:52
The only reason why I think the time becomes more expensive is
28:55
because all these things I need to do, it's not necessarily
28:59
where I could be. And I've been doing that more to
29:03
be more present, doing you know what, I'm not being paid for.
29:08
And I'm very happy about that. It's so rewarding.
29:11
And I tell you, I ran into these two guys.
29:15
Yeah. And I joked around, one guy's
29:17
from Armenia and the other guy grew up here in Utah.
29:20
And the Armenia guy said, I've lived here for like 3 years, I
29:23
don't have any friends. And he came to this event and he
29:26
made friends and, and they were acting like, oh, no homo, right,
29:30
'cause they saw him. I'm like, hey, what are you guys
29:31
doing? Like if I saw two pairs of the
29:34
same sex together and it's not a queer night, 'cause they have
29:38
those two. We, we do, we facilitate those.
29:40
But if it's not that one, I'm like, what's up?
29:43
Maybe they're bi. They're just like, hey.
29:45
No, you don't find a. Lot of shape that I am.
29:47
You don't find that? I mean, those ones are.
29:49
Quite a few bi dudes, surprisingly.
29:51
Oh no, there's a lot. But at these events, you can
29:54
tell because the queer Knights are awesome, because they are
29:58
really comfortable in their element.
30:00
But The funny thing is that you can't fill those Knights up.
30:03
They're really hard. And the reason why
30:05
statistically, gay men and gay women.
30:09
Oh, don't like Tanner Mingle? No, they don't have a problem
30:12
with community. They get along, they have their
30:14
communities on their own. Yeah, big.
30:16
Communities, they're super supportive and Oh yeah, and
30:19
everybody's well. Going to Pride every year and I
30:22
have learned that that holy shit, they have a massive
30:26
community and it's supportive and loving and it's everywhere
30:29
and like they're not trying to find it and build it.
30:32
It exists. It's there.
30:34
The thing is, is that it's the ones that are really stable,
30:36
right? Lesbian and gay guys are are
30:39
pretty stable in their own environment.
30:41
They have the same issues that everybody else has.
30:44
There's really no difference on that.
30:46
The thing is, is that they're more open and so it's easier for
30:51
them to date, so they have a higher likability of finding
30:55
people within their own community.
30:57
They get along with the the hard part that I've.
31:00
Seen. I think it's because they're
31:01
already used to feeling outcast or different, so they're.
31:05
Well, they have grinder too. Oh 100% and Grinder is just for
31:08
the hook up people. But they know what it is.
31:11
It's not like Tinder. They're like oh I was trying to
31:13
find my wife. Fuck you.
31:15
Come on, he's trying to find a piece of.
31:17
Patch I know there might be people who have actually met a
31:20
real partner through Tinder, and if you are I.
31:23
My buddy. The deets I'm curious.
31:25
My buddy Pete, I mean he's got 4 kids.
31:28
OK, he met his partner on Tinder.
31:30
Yeah, him and his wife, they were both 30, but it was, that's
31:33
early years. It was the early, early years.
31:36
It was still used as. Fuck town Central.
31:38
And well, it was just like, you know, pretty much like, and I, I
31:41
kind of I. I met Emily on Bumble.
31:44
I know, I know. See.
31:45
That's cool. Seven years.
31:46
Seven years. That was back when it was
31:49
actually used for what it was intended for.
31:51
Now the algorithm fucks it up. Emily was only on it for that
31:55
day. She jumped on, couldn't count,
31:59
matched me. We went out for coffee the next
32:01
day. Yeah.
32:02
And it was cool. Like, you know, like the things
32:04
you guys did on that date sound like no big deal, right?
32:09
Yeah, but you had had enough life experience at that point
32:14
that you really could talk about almost anything like and and you
32:19
were unfortunately grown up in a certain way, but on the same
32:23
side. The good side was your parents
32:26
instilled into you guys a work ethic unlike anything else.
32:30
That created mental illness, right?
32:32
Because it's like you. It's it's not just.
32:34
It eats at. You I realized and I was I was
32:37
trying to think about it because the in all my interviews that
32:42
I've been going to the guy asked me and he's like, so tell me
32:46
about your work ethic. And I just kind of chuckled.
32:50
And I was like, all right, so you already know that I've gone
32:52
through construction, like, had a life through that since I was,
32:56
you know, like that tall. And like, my dad was the old guy
32:59
running through Lowe's because he didn't have enough time to
33:02
walk. We worked from, like, 6:00 AM
33:04
till about 3:00 PM when I'm going, hey, Dad, I'm starving.
33:09
We hadn't had lunch yet. Can we take 510 minutes to just
33:12
sit down and, like, down the sandwich real fast?
33:16
And he's going, all right, yeah, we can.
33:18
We can take a quick break, right?
33:19
And then let's get back to work. And then we work until 5:00, you
33:22
know, whenever. And you do that all the time,
33:25
like, and I'm like, and every single one of my siblings has an
33:29
issue. Every single one of them is
33:33
working. They have full time jobs,
33:34
careers and every single one of them is doing something on the
33:39
side as well. Has to.
33:41
They don't have to, no. No, no, not compelled to the.
33:44
Time that we have in our mind is too much.
33:48
Every time I see my sister who's a nurse, not only is she like
33:52
crocheting, she's having a conversation with someone.
33:55
She's got an audio book in her ear.
33:57
Yep. She's like, she's always doing.
34:00
And I'm like, but then I look at my aunts and uncles on that
34:02
side. Every single one of them has
34:04
been really successful in what they do.
34:08
They're all working with the same weird type of sickness of
34:11
like. You have to make more.
34:14
You have to make more and it's and just.
34:16
Doing something and looks like I hate just sitting there.
34:19
I don't want to play a game or watch a show.
34:22
I have time and I'm not saying anything, so I'd rather just go
34:25
DoorDash because my kids are off playing and so he doesn't have a
34:31
lot of time of just relaxing. He loves golfing and playing
34:35
soccer and so maybe that is his relaxing is just being active.
34:40
But is it? I I thought about your question,
34:43
which one last week you're like, oh, what do you do?
34:46
Or maybe it wasn't on the episode.
34:47
You're like, what do you do that's super nerdy?
34:49
What is your nerd thing? And I asked Emily.
34:51
I was like, what is my nerd thing?
34:53
What do I nerd out on? She's like cars.
34:57
Yeah. And I was like, OK, yeah, yeah.
34:59
And she was like, and weed. I was like, OK, yeah.
35:03
She's like, you don't, you're not really a nerd.
35:06
She's like you do a lot of active things like that's more
35:08
of your thing is like movement and that.
35:12
You ever thought about getting a?
35:13
Super nerdy person. You're a canosaur certification.
35:17
Get certified as a Canosaur. No, but I've thought about
35:20
getting a degree in cannabis. I think that.
35:23
That would be more of. I think that my.
35:25
Forte is canisseur is. That's what we've taught the
35:29
entire audience for years. I am a canisseur.
35:32
I know me too well. I could I mean, we, we go deep.
35:36
I mean, when we're talking with some, I mean we talk on the
35:38
episodes and stuff like that about the the breakdown of it,
35:41
it just surface level. And then kind of giving you the
35:44
idea of like what we're feeling and how maybe a conversation can
35:48
go like you can go, that one's going to put me off on a fuck
35:51
engine every 5 seconds. Probably not, Probably not.
35:56
Or you're like, fuck yeah, dude. I can get lost in like anime,
36:00
you know, and you're just like when you get a really good
36:02
strain, you'd be like, yeah, I'll watch this anime.
36:04
Like my son got me into what was it called?
36:07
The one where the the video game one, it's like a video.
36:11
I know you were telling me, and I don't remember if it's what is
36:13
it Jason had watched or not. No, no.
36:15
No, no, no, no, no. It's about like it's a crazy
36:19
premise of this world where all of a sudden these portals open
36:24
and these like demonic beasts come through, right?
36:27
It's a demon Slayer. No, no, no, no.
36:29
It's it's a modern. Does he have a chainsaw?
36:32
No, they're like regular people in this time period, but they
36:35
get like RPG skills, so sometimes they get like a sword
36:39
and stuff like that. Something Academy.
36:41
No, not adventure, no, I have no idea.
36:44
There's so many watches. Quite a few.
36:46
Yeah, so does Xander. I've watched Demon Slayer with
36:49
her and then I watched part of something else and I can't.
36:54
Remember I tried to get into jujitsu Kaizen, I didn't.
36:56
We haven't watched that one. It was all right.
36:59
It's just too like and I'm like, no, I can't do that.
37:03
I I like really dark and serious ones.
37:06
Chainsaw Man was Adi asked me. She was like, oh, can I watch
37:10
Chainsaw Man? So many of my friends are
37:12
talking about it and I watched it and I felt weird because it's
37:16
like. Like this dismemberment and
37:19
shit. No, that part's not a big deal.
37:21
the IT was more of like this weird way that this, the main
37:25
character, he is young and immature and super horny, always
37:30
wanting to like touch a woman or do something, but he has never
37:33
done it. And so all of these women are
37:35
like going, Hey, if you do this and go kill these people, I'll
37:40
let you touch my boobs. And I'm like this.
37:43
I don't. And so I, I explained it and I'm
37:45
like, Addie, it. It's weird because I don't want
37:47
you to have this, like this perception of how to manipulate
37:51
or use or your body for these types of things.
37:54
I don't want that to be I'm like, but it, it was only more
37:59
in the beginning. It seemed less focused, but then
38:01
Preston told me that's only the first season and or the first
38:04
couple, and while I thought that was the end of it, there's a lot
38:07
more and it gets a lot worse because it into what they'd come
38:11
out. I was like, Oh, it actually gets
38:12
less focused on that and gets more into the fighting and
38:14
stuff. So maybe it's not that bad.
38:17
If I could help help her have a good understanding of this and
38:21
just kind of talk to you about. But if it gets a lot worse and
38:25
there's more coming out, then maybe I don't want her to start
38:28
that yet because it'll just get, Oh, Oh well, more came out and
38:31
yeah, well, it got a lot worse. I don't want.
38:34
Fuck, see, it's that, it's that you know, and that's.
38:38
But it's we have very good discussions about these types of
38:41
things, you know, where it's, it's an open conversation and
38:45
it's like, Hey, this is what I'm thinking.
38:47
Or, or if it's like, Hey, I think it's, you know it.
38:50
Well, it just was not. And I realized that, so I turned
38:53
it back on. It's more of the discussion of
38:54
like, you know, there's things in there that maybe you're not
38:58
ready to see. And I'm don't think I'm ready
39:00
for you to see. And like, even some movie show
39:04
will go, oh, can I see this? And I'll look it up.
39:06
And I'm like, it actually shows a dude's penis.
39:09
I don't think I'm wanting you to watch that.
39:11
And she's like, I don't want to watch that.
39:13
I'm like, yeah, I understand that.
39:15
Which is nice that she's saying that because it's so easy.
39:18
Like young girls are so susceptible to pornography now.
39:22
And the thing it's, you know, that that book that I read, you
39:25
know, one of the craziest statistics that's coming out is
39:29
more assault and more deaths through asphyxiation, choking
39:34
and sex. I could see that it will.
39:36
It's because there is this access to everything on porn and
39:44
it's not just like you used to be able to get something in a
39:47
magazine or you know, whatever. And that's not going to be
39:50
bestiality or these extremes. I saw this map of the US and it
39:57
said the most top searched porn thing in each state for that
40:02
year. Utah was like Mormon.
40:04
Some were bestiality, some were fisting like it had.
40:07
Oh yeah, some states were really weird.
40:11
Some were incest. Like it was just.
40:14
Oh yeah, there's a lot of. Weird ones of like the top
40:17
search for that state. But you know what's crazy, man,
40:21
is that Utah, they're, they're very strict moral codes for
40:26
society that they have actually did really good and end up
40:30
keeping that at Bay for kids because now in this state, a lot
40:35
of these sites have been banned or they require an age
40:40
verification. Yeah, ID.
40:42
So you have to VPN around it, which now Utah's trying to
40:45
introduce a new law around the VPN's and that.
40:48
Oh, but even then though, I mean, a lot of these sites over
40:51
there are hit. One of them Pornhub, they just
40:53
got hit bad. I think there was a lawsuit and
40:56
a bunch. But was that because of age or
40:58
fake stuff or stuff? It was beyond there it was.
41:01
Because of stuff that couldn't be on there and so they found a
41:04
bunch of kiddie porn on there and rape porn.
41:07
That should be 100%. They should be right that.
41:10
Oh, they did, they did. There was a woman who led this
41:12
charge. OK with that.
41:13
She went after him really hard finding all of this shit.
41:16
She goes, if you want to do porn, that's fine.
41:18
Yep, she's like. But that's the thing, dude, it's
41:21
too. Consenting it's consent is a
41:24
huge thing and that's. There has to be a paywall.
41:27
There always has to be a paywall.
41:29
I knew consent was a thing, but when I met Emily, consent
41:33
changed. I learned and of this
41:36
understanding of like and it makes so much sense of like even
41:39
within the ACT, even within your own partner in that consent can
41:43
change at any time. You might go, hey, I'm I am
41:46
actually not feeling this anymore.
41:48
I'm I don't feel OK. Can we stop?
41:50
And that should always be OK. And that's a symptom of of poor
41:55
modeling and how to engage and communicate with other people
41:58
because it's the that's where my I I stopped thinking about the
42:03
cause is because of porn, social media, all this stuff I can,
42:08
it's easily. It's the lack of communication
42:10
and the understanding on how to effectively communicate.
42:13
And not only is that, but seeing it, you know, one of my one of
42:18
the things like because I'm into this dating world now.
42:20
Or feeling safe enough to communicate I.
42:23
Well, and being themselves, because it's hard.
42:25
I don't want, and I'm sure you don't want your kids to get in
42:29
that either, that they're in a position that they don't feel
42:32
safe and they don't feel like they can vocalize it to the
42:34
person they're with of like, hey, I, I don't want to do this.
42:38
I don't feel OK doing this. This isn't something I want to
42:41
do. Like none of us want our partner
42:43
or our kids, someone to be in that situation going, hey, I, I
42:47
don't feel safe. Not just like, hey, yeah, I
42:50
don't want to do that. But like I don't feel OK.
42:53
I don't feel safe here, and yet that statistically happens all
42:57
the time everywhere. Well, you think about it, the
43:01
modeling that they get, where are they getting it from, right?
43:05
Where where did we get our modeling?
43:06
You know, we talk about your dad and talk about my dad.
43:10
I mean their work ethics on it for which thing?
43:13
I guess for sex or. For for social, because sex is
43:17
a, a byproduct of social engagement, right?
43:21
I mean, it doesn't just happen out of nowhere.
43:23
Now we've commoditized it to the point where we don't treat it as
43:28
a, a, a sacred thing. And I'm not saying even on a on
43:32
a religious aspect, I'm just saying like you exchange like.
43:36
Is relationship different than just the other one like that
43:40
connection than just a societal connection 'cause?
43:43
It's a it's a higher level of friendship.
43:45
Yeah. It it's like a higher
43:47
connection, deeper connection. Hopefully that was all as if I
43:51
would classify it necessarily different than like society
43:53
because I was thinking about it. I'm like, I guess it is kind of
43:57
within that, the same like but just to a deeper level.
44:01
And a different well in the culture has a lot to do with it
44:03
too, because if you take an African culture, right, I have a
44:07
brother-in-law, he's from from Kenya and he's really cool guy.
44:12
I forget that sometimes. I've only met him, seen him
44:15
once. He's cool, he's really cool.
44:17
Now they have issues in their relationship.
44:20
Everyone does. But the thing that's really
44:22
hard, it's cultural. Yeah, it's like they come from
44:25
to 100% different backgrounds and cultures.
44:30
And I don't know how much they tried to integrate or understand
44:33
the other culture really before they like built that together.
44:37
Well, I don't. I mean it's.
44:38
That might be a hard thing to fully integrate to totally
44:42
different cultures if you don't have a decent understanding of
44:44
the other culture prior to I I don't know, I've never, I've not
44:50
actually had to do that, you know, and it it's got to be
44:54
quite surprising because even like.
44:57
Watching different. Countries and stuff, and I
44:59
realized there are some aspects that I am just so different than
45:03
other cultures. 100%. Same with, they are different
45:06
than other ones but like. Well, you think about it, you
45:08
grew up in a Mormon culture. And so you have to think about
45:11
that as the the culture. And so why certain people
45:16
connect on certain things and a lot of them comes from culture,
45:20
not geographic. It's culture because you know,
45:24
that's one thing that you take the Mormons from like the 70s
45:27
and 80s and 90s, they were strong at that time and the
45:32
reason why was community, but. I think even around like you I I
45:37
the only thing I have to relate on is TV shows or movies from
45:40
that. Time.
45:40
Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. But.
45:41
The community that was always shown neighborhood BBQ, shit
45:45
like that. It's not the same and granted
45:48
Utah is different. I when I was down in Texas I
45:53
will say that I was invited to someone's dinner, someone's BBQ,
45:56
like they had no idea who I was. I met them at like the store and
46:00
it's a different community. A different.
46:01
Culture. Yes, different.
46:03
Culture different. So we all have different
46:05
cultures because like, say, say like you and Emily, you guys
46:08
have similar culture. You were involved.
46:11
In in aspects, yeah. And so that actually was really
46:15
well in, in, in a lot of aspects because both of you were like,
46:18
no, that's not me. And then found.
46:21
Yourself from like military family.
46:23
So there's there's some aspect like similarities and some
46:26
differences. But yeah, like everyone.
46:28
But it's culture. And and when you mesh these
46:30
cultures and you look at it that way, the one thing you can start
46:33
being able to point out is what are the toxic traits of these
46:37
cultures? Because both sides have toxic
46:40
traits. Yeah.
46:41
So you just try to go, OK, well, I just want to be observant of
46:45
these toxic traits. And if I start to see them in my
46:48
own actions, then I know that I'm I'm looking for that
46:52
conflict. And it's really easy to get
46:55
caught in that because I think that almost every day I have
46:58
this conflict in my head when I disagree with somebody.
47:01
But it's in my head. I have this disagreement in my
47:04
head. I don't let it come out unless
47:06
I've really gone through it. And this comes when I'm driving.
47:10
I'm like, yeah, fuck. I'm stuck with my thoughts.
47:13
Dude, that's when all of mine comes out.
47:14
It's always when I'm behind the wheel.
47:16
When I'm driving, everything else goes away.
47:19
Like that's when I found therapy and the most clear thoughts was
47:23
like motorcycle riding. The Eckhart Tolle's Power of Now
47:27
book that I'm reading goes into why sometimes athletes or other
47:32
people do certain types of activities because it puts their
47:37
mind and body into a perfect flow state where nothing else
47:41
exists in that moment. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, that
47:45
was exactly it. Because in those moments, all
47:48
the other. And I was thinking about it and
47:50
as I was thinking about it, I actually broke down crying
47:52
because I'm when we never really process or let the emotion fully
47:59
go through, we hold it, it stays in our body, behave on to it.
48:03
I basically had gone through and gone.
48:05
There was a lot of emotion I never actually processed in my
48:08
divorce and my kids leaving and moving out of the state and and
48:12
all of that because it was like a no, don't cry.
48:15
No, just hold that down. Like not allowing ourselves to
48:19
fully feel the emotion. I think part of that just stems
48:22
from like growing up, you don't cry as a guy, you crying is
48:27
usually a sign of weakness. Well, and when you're already
48:30
small, crying is definitely a sign of weakness.
48:33
So not from, Hey, I'm not allowed to cry, but like in that
48:37
moment, even though I cried and I let out some, it was like, I
48:41
would let it out for a little bit and go, all right, no,
48:43
you're good, you're done. Don't do that.
48:45
Like you've, you've felt that and.
48:47
Again, that comes from modeling, right?
48:49
Because now if you look at it because I, I agree and I
48:53
disagree in some of those aspects because it's like, yeah,
48:56
but it protected you for the time being.
48:59
What's that? I was just trying to think of
49:01
where I was going with that. There was something from that
49:03
book of Eckhart Tolle, yeah, of where I was going with that.
49:06
And no, I don't even remember the whole purpose of that.
49:08
I didn't even get to. That, damn it, Apple fritters.
49:11
Fritters. Yeah, that is a root beer I.
49:14
Yeah, the root beer was fucking awesome.
49:16
I'm so sorry I spilt it. Oh, don't even worry, we'll just
49:19
get it another time and we'll do.
49:20
It was good enough to get it. Out.
49:22
Yeah, I was like it. Was really good and and you were
49:23
like yuck at first. The name?
49:25
Root Beer. Root beer in a strain sounds so
49:28
gross. But it was really nice I.
49:31
But was the fact that GMO was in there that was I really like
49:34
GMO. Yeah, it was really good.
49:36
No, no, man, no, this has been a good convo, man.
49:39
I mean, you know, I just, I because I'm, I'm getting, I'm
49:43
working with Thursday just here in Utah right now.
49:46
But man, just the the cool experience has been like, it's
49:51
such a a guilty pleasure because I get to watch these people and
49:57
all I'm doing. I'm not doing anything other
49:59
than just helping to facilitate this engagement and helping them
50:03
to feel like look, your name, which has a lot of importance
50:07
behind it. It that defines how you make
50:11
money, That defines how you are in society.
50:13
But we attach so much to our name, right?
50:17
Because that is, I think our ego and we are so attached to what
50:22
we have built in our life of whatever perception we have of
50:25
ourselves. But when you strip that down and
50:28
you just go to your behaviors and what's cool is when they
50:31
when other people meet each other over there and these women
50:35
will come up, it's always women. They'll come up and 1:00 will be
50:38
a circle and 1:00 will be an Octagon.
50:40
And they're like, why are we such good friends?
50:41
And I tell them why. And they're like, Oh my gosh.
50:44
And I'm like, yeah, here's a really cool thing I said, even
50:46
though you're here for to meet a guy, which is great.
50:49
And I want you to find that, but what I want you to find more is
50:53
other people that are like you, so you feel more comfortable in
50:57
the environment and you can be as a community.
51:01
You're out there because you're meeting other guys and you'll be
51:03
like, this guy's not a really good match for me, but he would
51:06
be a great match for a man. And then you go, hey, I'm not a
51:11
good match for you on our shapes, but I know somebody who
51:13
would be. And you always think about it
51:15
like your closest friends who are single in that totally.
51:18
You're always thinking like, man, I wish I had like, the best
51:21
person for them or like this perfect fit and like, yeah, if
51:25
you're there and you find anybody, Oh my God, you're not a
51:28
fit for me. But like you and them are.
51:30
Yeah, I mean, and imagine that where the dating world now
51:34
becomes not competitive, but it is it's a Co-op.
51:39
You're playing on the same. Yeah, you're you're playing on
51:41
the same team. You're Co opting it right.
51:43
So you go in. OK, look, I just think it's cool
51:46
that I know you based on your be and this is what's happened
51:49
there. These women will just form
51:51
friendships and guys will form friendships there.
51:53
And I'm like, no, no, God, keep coming.
51:56
If you're making friends, this is going to broaden your
51:59
network. It's treating it just like
52:01
business because if you meet more people and they go, you're
52:05
cool. I've learned a bunch of
52:07
interesting things about you within 10 minutes, and you've
52:11
noticed that I'm paying attention to you because I have
52:15
something that's unique that you would like.
52:17
But everyone going there is lonely in some aspect or
52:21
another. They're there lonely.
52:23
So if they can find a friend, even because your life to feel
52:27
fulfilled doesn't need necessarily a partner always.
52:30
But if we have friends and community, we feel so much more
52:34
connected and fulfilled, and then we're not hunting for this
52:38
person to complete our life. And what happens in that time?
52:41
It does. And then it's just like, hey,
52:43
this isn't because I'm needing you to fill a hole.
52:46
This is because my life feels so fulfilled and you just really
52:49
pair so well with this. I'm not feeling like my life is
52:53
lacking, you just would be this perfect addition to it.
52:56
Oh dude, like my when I and they'd.
52:59
Go into it being so much happier because they're not going.
53:01
Hey, I'm lonely, they're going. Man.
53:04
I have this amazing community of friends.
53:07
I feel so loved and supported and seen and you just seem like
53:11
an amazing person I would like to bring you into.
53:14
This. Yeah.
53:14
And I want to introduce you to people that I think you would
53:16
really like. How much?
53:17
Easier would dating be if we all approached it in this feeling
53:21
loved and seen and supported going dude, and that's what I'm
53:24
here because I'm trying to fill a hole.
53:26
I'm here because I want to just. I want to see if you're another
53:29
good puzzle piece to add to my beautiful puzzle that I.
53:32
Have 100% and that's that. It's so brilliant, the idea of
53:36
shapes and they lock together and The thing is, is like there
53:41
are shapes that are really compatible with other ones, but
53:44
that's just the higher compatibility.
53:46
It doesn't mean that the all the other ones are off.
53:48
Limits or that you can't connect or have a good.
53:50
But if you're aware, if you're aware of what are the things
53:55
when they're doing really good that you can help enhance, and
53:58
when they're bad, you can be aware of.
54:01
Well, and that I think is really the bigger understanding more
54:05
than like if your shape necessarily fits with the other,
54:10
it's more of just understanding of like, hey, this person that
54:14
maybe I actually did connect and we've got this great
54:16
relationship or whatever. But now I'm more aware of maybe
54:20
how this person thinks through this where they might not have
54:23
been able to express it and I didn't understand.
54:26
And now, holy shit, now I have clarity in this situation, which
54:30
gives clarity to so many more times that we've had these types
54:34
of moments happen and they can realize and go, OK, now I can
54:38
understand moving forward why that happened.
54:41
So I can actually not have that same thing happen if I don't, if
54:44
I don't need that because I go, hey, it really was just a
54:48
misunderstanding in this way that our minds think and or, or
54:51
maybe how we approach a certain type.
54:53
Of thing and being aware of behavior because, you know,
54:56
there are things that we will do.
54:57
There are triggers, there are things we'll say like, you know,
55:00
I, I have been spiteful because I needed to be right, because my
55:05
shape, the behaviors that I do that are ingrained in me from
55:08
very young make me want to be right.
55:12
I wondered about that because I was thinking about it like he
55:15
always, always bred to like fight and protect.
55:19
Is that like a thing of like if I'm not right, I'm not like I'm
55:23
wrong and that creates an unsafety or like a?
55:26
It's common with people with the same behavior.
55:28
Cause the crazy thing dude, is that they're like when I do
55:32
these events, dude, I meet like dozens of you.
55:35
It's really cool because it's and even down to the look your
55:40
body frame. Hell has my hoodie.
55:42
Which one of you fuckers is stealing my hoodie now?
55:44
We you should get one right? It's true.
55:47
Actually this is really comfy. This is probably like the most
55:50
comfy super now. Dude are these ones the last
55:54
batch that we made and is like oh.
55:55
That's awesome looking. That's super cool.
55:57
Emily bought this brand off a different thing off Etsy and I
56:02
found the the brand of who like the hoodie manufacturer and I
56:06
was like, I really like that one.
56:08
So I got those and got our stuff printed on that instead.
56:11
And it is just like it's cozy and soft as fuck on the inside
56:17
too so. Yeah, but you know, I, I.
56:20
Sorry, no, no. No, no, dude, it's they're cool,
56:24
man. No, but it's like Apple
56:25
fritters, you know, when you're when you look past what we think
56:32
who we are, right? We think of what our possessions
56:35
are, right. I've been thinking a lot about
56:37
Fight Club lately and the reason why the movie Fight Club
56:41
revolves around your identity become so locked into what you
56:45
think it is. And then one day you wake up and
56:47
you're somebody you'd never knew who you were and you've turned
56:51
into the villain or you've turned into the hero.
56:55
You don't know because you get so locked into what you believe
56:58
to find you. When he's describing, he's like,
57:01
oh, I've got these certain types of plates and I got this certain
57:04
type of furniture made with a certain type of wood.
57:07
And I've got this certain type of car.
57:08
And it's cool 'cause in the movie it shows like the
57:11
depictions of just like things like in his apartment, but they
57:14
look like a catalog and there's prices and shit on everything.
57:18
And you're like, and he's just like, Oh my God.
57:21
And and what happens is that because he's so locked into his
57:25
life of monotony, of never adding any complexity other than
57:31
the task at hand. Yeah, but I don't think he's
57:33
consciously in that task, no. And you, I mean, he's not.
57:37
He's floating and then and then what happens is that he thinks
57:41
he has narcolepsy, but what he has is, is that his his ego and
57:46
his psyche has cracked and has created another alternative
57:51
version. And we do that all.
57:53
All of us have done that multiple times.
57:55
We have changed. Of ourself has there been?
57:58
Well, and the idea that we are a solid mass.
58:02
And not changing. Yeah, I mean, we're not rock,
58:05
but even rock changes. I think it's because, so for me,
58:09
my ex-wife told me that, you know, certain things could never
58:13
change. Certain things were genetically
58:15
instilled and I could not be any different than my dad or anyone
58:19
else because that was just built in me.
58:23
And I'm like, I don't think that's a reality.
58:26
What do you mean? So.
58:27
What's the trait? Looking at porn.
58:30
The fact that my dad had looked at porn and I had looked at porn
58:34
was the fact that it was genetically instilled that I was
58:37
addicted to porn. This is the woman that sleeps
58:40
around a lot. Yeah.
58:41
All right. So in that idea, in that
58:44
mentality, it was this thing of like, I can't change, I am the
58:48
same. And it was like.
58:49
Sounds like a lot of projection. Yeah, and it became this really
58:52
stupid idea of like, why? Why can't I change I every day?
58:56
We're changing yesterday effects today like.
58:59
Dude our cells are dying every day.
59:00
We we are not the same person we were yesterday.
59:03
Life is indefinite change, but we fight it constantly and so
59:07
instead of going, people don't change.
59:09
No, the people continuously change.
59:12
We just don't notice it because all we see is whatever
59:15
perception, 100% of that person. And that perception might not
59:20
change, but that is just a distortion in our reality, not
59:25
in whatever life they actually are living.
59:27
Because their life is not stuck in whatever picture we have
59:31
painted of this moment that we created and then painted over
59:36
and over, telling ourselves this same story, which is never the
59:40
same. It always is different than the
59:42
original happenstance ten, 20-30 years down the road.
59:46
It's a remembrance of a remembrance of a remembrance of
59:49
a remembrance of a remembrance of a story, not of the actual
59:52
event. All we are remembering is a
59:55
story that we've told ourselves. Well, no.
59:56
Everything is a story then it's not.
59:59
But the The thing is, is it it to look at it from a cynical
1:00:02
approach of thinking, well, what's against me and what's not
1:00:06
working for me with what we've done with that is we have
1:00:09
created a culture of seclusion and segregation.
1:00:15
Where people are more divided now than ever, yet have the
1:00:19
ability to talk to each other civilly from that one they
1:00:21
choose either violence of words or violence of action.
1:00:25
We are seeing that because people don't know how to
1:00:31
communicate anymore. What they've been modeled.
1:00:34
You even take from the 90s on, like late 90s on, you were being
1:00:39
modeled based upon what they wanted you to see.
1:00:42
And that was a time where it was better on a slow scale because
1:00:46
we had something that taught sociology to everybody in a
1:00:50
really positive way. And nobody ever thinks about the
1:00:54
sociological experiment of friends because I've been
1:00:58
getting non-stop clips from friends in my YouTube algorithm
1:01:02
because I'm, I'm finding and I'm like, what the fuck?
1:01:05
And then I'm like, oh, that makes sense.
1:01:06
It's trying to, the algorithm is learning that I'm looking for
1:01:10
friendship. And that's the thing that I tell
1:01:14
people at these events. You're not here for a hookup.
1:01:16
You're here to find a really great friend.
1:01:20
And that could be the same sex, it could be opposite sex, It
1:01:22
doesn't matter. But what you're really going to
1:01:24
get out of this is you're going to learn a lot more about you
1:01:28
real quick. If you want to go deep into it,
1:01:31
I got somebody you could talk to if you want to go into, I'm
1:01:34
still struggling and I can't make this work.
1:01:36
And I come to these every time. Let's talk and I'll coach you.
1:01:39
But other than that, like come with the expectation of
1:01:43
friendship. And it changed their mindset
1:01:46
like instantly. Nobody told them that you could
1:01:47
be a friend. And I go around and I model it.
1:01:50
How? To do it, I love making friends
1:01:53
with people and it's like who gives a shit if it turns into
1:01:57
something more that is beautiful and you love where that comes
1:02:00
from, but it's the it's the the position of fear and and I don't
1:02:05
have or lost like I don't have this.
1:02:08
My life would be so much better if I just had a a girlfriend, a
1:02:11
boyfriend, someone in my life versus going man, I wish I loved
1:02:15
myself enough to not feel like I had to chase and find that
1:02:19
somewhere else. And then I might find just a
1:02:21
really good partnership of someone who just makes my life a
1:02:25
little better. My, my, my theory on that is
1:02:28
that it's not that we're trying too hard, is that we're not
1:02:32
giving ourselves a chance. We take our weaknesses or
1:02:37
whatever we perceive as weaknesses as our downfall.
1:02:40
And that's why we're not good enough.
1:02:42
We have to stay within our boundaries.
1:02:45
We have to color in the lines that life has given us, right?
1:02:48
But we clearly see that within society when those who think
1:02:52
that it doesn't matter and those who focus on learning about
1:02:56
other people and how they interact, those are master
1:03:00
communicators when they go out. I mean, you can get mad about
1:03:03
who whatever political figure or business person, but they are
1:03:06
master communicators. They're able to instill people
1:03:10
to do things with their words, which is nuts.
1:03:13
And I'm not even talking to like, I don't want to go into
1:03:15
politics, but I'm talking like business.
1:03:17
Like Elon Musk says some things and you're like, really?
1:03:20
But then the other ones you're like, how the fuck do you know
1:03:22
that? And it's because he surrounded
1:03:24
himself with the really intelligent people to do these
1:03:27
things. And he moves insanely fast and
1:03:29
try and gets them to do make something crazy.
1:03:31
And they're like, I don't know. And he go, that's not working.
1:03:34
Let's try something else. Do this now, but it's because
1:03:37
his mind's moving that quickly. That's that's genius in action.
1:03:42
Steve Jobs didn't engineer shit. Oh God.
1:03:45
No, but he was a genius at pushing people to create
1:03:49
something better. Because the pinnacle, I mean, we
1:03:53
could argue all day long, but the pinnacle of phones is the
1:03:56
Apple phone. It is the Apple phone.
1:03:59
Everything else is just Android. Yeah, it's Google Android.
1:04:02
That's kind of the same concept. Right, but Apple stands on its.
1:04:06
Hardware's always better, but it never runs as seamlessly.
1:04:09
And but the and the reason why like and, and those are bad
1:04:14
examples. That's that's why I'm bringing
1:04:15
up those ones because they can inspire people to do crazy
1:04:18
things. Imagine people who are like us
1:04:21
who just want to be around other chill people and make friends.
1:04:25
Like we exchanged numbers with people almost instantly.
1:04:28
If we dude, let me get your number.
1:04:29
Let me like the guy that I want to bring on with the geodes like
1:04:32
he's super chill. And I was like, man, you have an
1:04:35
interesting story. I want to share this and maybe
1:04:38
you can teach somebody how to be able to find these cause maybe
1:04:40
they've been like I've always wanted to do that.
1:04:43
Yeah, I mean, tons of people I've talked about Geo hunt, we
1:04:45
have gone like different. Oh, he'll take you, He'll take
1:04:48
you. We've done different jam hunting
1:04:50
in Utah 'cause they're everywhere.
1:04:52
Dude he's got so many but he has got some gorgeous 1.
1:04:56
He had one that was pure white and he's like this is sanely,
1:05:00
he's like this is a rare to find pure white.
1:05:03
He goes, there's no yellows in there.
1:05:04
And then he gave me one. I bought these Ninja Turtles
1:05:08
from this guy from my boy and. I give Bennett, like when
1:05:11
Bennett brought his kids over, I gave him a couple of grandpa's
1:05:14
stones that I had out front. Oh cool, 'cause they were like,
1:05:17
Oh my gosh, I love stones. And they were coming inside and
1:05:20
looking at like some of the very special ones from grandpa that I
1:05:23
had and they're like, can I have this?
1:05:25
And I'm like, no, I can't give you that one, but I would love
1:05:29
to let you pick any of the ones out here.
1:05:32
And I brought them out and there's a ton of them.
1:05:33
And they're like, Oh my gosh, can I have this one?
1:05:35
And this one, I'm like, yeah, that's that's.
1:05:37
Fine, that's cool. But it's I love stones and like
1:05:41
gems and yeah, I love. That's got to be such a cool
1:05:45
hobby. It'll be a fun conversation.
1:05:47
It'd be super great, but the thing it's cool.
1:05:49
It's like I, I celebrate those things about people.
1:05:53
And The thing is, is that enough people don't talk about those
1:05:55
nerdy things that they're into because it's considered lesser
1:05:59
than. But you know, The thing is when
1:06:01
we label things as far as like higher society, lower society,
1:06:05
that's what we are. We are just low society by that
1:06:08
point because we have negated anybody from joining that.
1:06:12
It's a culture, and a culture of sharing and communicating can
1:06:17
broaden it where other people are more open about culture.
1:06:20
Hey everyone, what is your nerdy thing that you guys do?
1:06:24
What do you nerd out about? Drop below in the comments, let
1:06:27
us know and catch you on Tuesday.