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7 | Ask Not For Whom the Nestle Tolls · You Didn't Ask For This

• 0:00
  Eric: Matt Where do the toys from Toy Story go when they die?
• 0:07
  Eric: Holy shit, Eric.
• 0:10
  Matt: New Year.
• 0:12
  Matt: New Year, new me, baby! We are fresh into 2021 when this episode comes out.
• 0:19
  Matt: Yeah.
• 0:20
  Matt: And you are starting us with tragic thoughts.
• 0:26
  Eric: Yeah.
• 0:27
  Eric: I would also extend this metaphysical question to the uh Indian in the cupboard verse.
• 0:34
  Eric: Okay.
• 0:36
  Matt: Um Wow.
• 0:38
  Matt: This is the opening, and we're already jumping into a question.
• 0:41
  Matt: This kept me awake last night.
• 0:43
  Matt: So why do first of all, I want to know why.
• 0:46
  Matt: What's the origin of this question?
• 0:48
  Eric: Um so okay.
• 0:52
  Eric: So the toys are alive.
• 0:56
  Eric: Yes.
• 0:57
  Eric: And I think we can definitively say it is of a supernatural origin, this being alive.
• 1:06
  Eric: I guess so.
• 1:07
  Eric: Which would indicate a greater influence that I don't think has to subscribe itself to any particular creed or faith, but like there's magic happening.
• 1:21
  Eric: Okay, sure.
• 1:23
  Eric: So something gave these toys life.
• 1:26
  Eric: The ability because it sure as hell wasn't Bob on the assembly line at Hasbro.
• 1:30
  Eric: Okay, yeah, fair.
• 1:32
  Eric: I'm with you.
• 1:33
  Eric: So when they die.
• 1:36
  Matt: Yeah.
• 1:37
  Matt: Alright, I'm I'm Buzz Lightyear.
• 1:40
  Matt: Now hold on a second.
• 1:41
  Matt: Yeah.
• 1:41
  Matt: So here's the thing.
• 1:44
  Matt: Okay.
• 1:45
  Matt: They have no life organs.
• 1:48
  Matt: They have no blood.
• 1:50
  Matt: They have no organs.
• 1:52
  Matt: Side question: can they die?
• 1:54
  Matt: So I th yeah, I'm more of the opinion, can they die?
• 2:00
  Matt: Because look across the street at Sid or whatever his name is.
• 2:04
  Matt: Yeah.
• 2:04
  Matt: Zed.
• 2:05
  Matt: No, his name is Sid, right?
• 2:07
  Eric: Sid, Sid.
• 2:07
  Eric: And yeah, he's got like a bunch of mangled toys, like, oh, they're like Frankenstein together from other toy parts.
• 2:13
  Eric: Right.
• 2:14
  Matt: And like they have that doll's head on a spider.
• 2:18
  Matt: And that head is clearly alive.
• 2:22
  Matt: Yeah.
• 2:23
  Matt: But like, so are like the extra sketch is its own thing.
• 2:29
  Eric: With yeah, yeah, and it's just the more this is why I I got here.
• 2:37
  Matt: Because like the more you laid awake last night, yes.
• 2:42
  Eric: Staring at the ceiling.
• 2:43
  Eric: Any amount of scrutiny upon the the the metaphysics of the Toy Story universe.
• 2:51
  Eric: I haven't even gotten Indian in the cupboard yet, but like it it it unwraps because they can feel pain.
• 2:56
  Eric: There have been several instances where like Woody hit his head on something, he goes, oh, ow.
• 3:02
  Eric: Um so like they cannot die, but they feel pain.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_03: Mm-hmm.
• 3:08
  Eric: Holy shit.
• 3:09
  Eric: Okay, hear me out.
• 3:11
  Eric: I don't think the toys go anywhere when they die.
• 3:15
  Eric: I think the toys are already dead.
• 3:17
  Eric: Okay.
• 3:18
  Eric: I think they're I think they're damned souls.
• 3:22
  Eric: Oh, yeah.
• 3:24
  Eric: I think that's the punishment.
• 3:26
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, this is their purgatory.
• 3:28
  Matt: Interesting.
• 3:29
  Matt: Or is it their hell?
• 3:31
  Matt: Or is it their heaven?
• 3:32
  Matt: Or is it their heaven?
• 3:34
  Matt: I mean, how would you feel about living?
• 3:36
  Matt: Let me ask you, as a human, who, as far as I know, are still alive.
• 3:41
  Matt: Yes.
• 3:42
  Matt: Assume away.
• 3:44
  Matt: If you died in the middle of this here recording, yeah, and woke up as a toy, yes, forget overlooking the obvious tangent that is what toy?
• 3:59
  Matt: You you wake up as a toy.
• 4:01
  Matt: Yeah.
• 4:03
  Matt: Realize that is your eternity.
• 4:05
  Matt: What is your feeling?
• 4:07
  Matt: Are you pleased?
• 4:08
  Matt: Are you displeased?
• 4:09
  Matt: Are you indifferent?
• 4:11
  Eric: Question one Am I at Sid's house?
• 4:16
  Matt: Uh let's assume you get the same opening treatment that most of the toys in the Toy Story universe did.
• 4:26
  Matt: You're in a loving little boy's bedroom.
• 4:30
  Eric: Okay.
• 4:32
  Eric: You know, I think at that point I'd be like, immortality, dope.
• 4:37
  Eric: Uh amatoy, physically limited, not so great.
• 4:41
  Eric: But okay, so this actually ties into like a fan theory about Wally, where like it takes place in the same universe as Toy Story.
• 4:51
  Eric: So there's theories that after Earth has been like completely abandoned, there are just like gangs of toys roaming the post-apocalyptic wastes of Earth.
• 5:03
  Eric: Okay.
• 5:04
  Matt: That'd be pretty baller.
• 5:06
  Matt: Okay, so you you want to be one of these marauding raiders.
• 5:11
  Eric: Yeah, I wanna I wanna be like toy.
• 5:13
  Eric: Yeah.
• 5:14
  Eric: I'm I'm thinking I want to like go on full-on warriors with it.
• 5:18
  Eric: Like, I want to be the toy that like gets all the other ones to uprise.
• 5:24
  Eric: Okay.
• 5:24
  Eric: Like of course you're like we we're the toys are all meeting in the dead of night.
• 5:28
  Eric: It's it's like out in the cul-de-sac under a street light, and like all these toys are gathered up, and I'm just like, can you dig it?
• 5:39
  Matt: That is your call to arms.
• 5:40
  Matt: Yeah, oh yeah.
• 5:41
  Matt: And you dig it.
• 5:42
  Matt: If you can count.
• 5:45
  Matt: Now I'm imagining you as like some sort of action figure, but somehow with the personality of Negan creating a toy.
• 5:59
  Matt: You know what you're you actually, you know what you're describing now?
• 6:03
  Matt: What am I describing?
• 6:04
  Matt: You're describing the plot of small soldiers.
• 6:09
  Eric: Is this how they got there?
• 6:12
  Matt: I think this is how they got there.
• 6:15
  Eric: Oh, because because Toy Story came out first.
• 6:18
  Eric: Uh yes, I'm pretty confident that.
• 6:21
  Eric: Toy Story came out first.
• 6:22
  Eric: Yeah, so this was this was some rebel's answer to Toy Story.
• 6:27
  Matt: Uh, yes.
• 6:28
  Matt: Toys because Toy Story 2.
• 6:31
  Matt: Yes, Toy Story came out in '95, Small Soldiers came out in 1999.
• 6:38
  Eric: Ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 6:40
  Eric: I think that was a firm rebuttal of Toy Story.
• 6:44
  Eric: That Small Soldiers was for the Toys.
• 6:48
  Matt: The target audience was the sentient toys.
• 6:52
  Matt: Was the sentient toys that we weren't supposed to uh be exposed to before Toy Story came out and ruined their vast secret?
• 7:04
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 7:06
  Matt: Okay, well, uh we are starting out this year end episode on a strong note, aren't we?
• 7:13
  Eric: We are.
• 7:15
  Eric: We're continuing our our path forward as the bravest, most challenging podcast that you could listen to in 2021.
• 7:24
  Matt: Does that mean that the board game figurines also are sentients?
• 7:29
  Eric: What I'm fucking talking about! So I will hit you with this.
• 7:44
  Eric: Okay.
• 7:44
  Eric: Um so Toy Story, right?
• 7:48
  Eric: They're toys.
• 7:49
  Eric: At the end of the day, they are still you are a toy.
• 7:53
  Eric: Right.
• 7:54
  Eric: Indian in the cupboard, though.
• 7:56
  Eric: He puts a Darth Vader action figure in the cupboard.
• 7:59
  Eric: He opens it up.
• 8:01
  Eric: The dude has a functioning lightsaber.
• 8:05
  Matt: Yeah, that I I I forgot about that.
• 8:08
  Matt: I have to be uh honest.
• 8:09
  Matt: I don't really remember the intimate details.
• 8:12
  Eric: I remember the cupboard from Indian in the cupboard.
• 8:14
  Eric: It has fucked me up my entire life.
• 8:16
  Eric: I'm like, why didn't you take that little lightsaber?
• 8:19
  Eric: Like, you could that like if what would happen if that little Darth Vader hit him with that lightsaber?
• 8:24
  Eric: Or just force force choked in.
• 8:27
  Eric: Yeah! Yes!
• 8:29
  Matt: Wow.
• 8:29
  Eric: Because it makes things real.
• 8:32
  Matt: In the film, did it have James Earl Jones's voice?
• 8:36
  Eric: No, it just breathed.
• 8:38
  Eric: Oh, it okay.
• 8:39
  Eric: That's that That was probably a bridge too far for the copyright, yeah.
• 8:43
  Matt: They no, they probab I bet they probably oh maybe.
• 8:47
  Eric: Maybe they they could probably secure the image, but not the uh the Earlness.
• 8:53
  Eric: The Earl Jones-ness.
• 8:54
  Matt: Well, with that in mind, yeah welcome to another episode of You Didn't Ask for This.
• 9:02
  Matt: My name is Matt Shea.
• 9:04
  Matt: My name is Eric Poach.
• 9:05
  Matt: And we're happy to have you.
• 9:07
  Matt: Welcome to the new year, Eric.
• 9:09
  Matt: Welcome to the new year, Matthew.
• 9:11
  Matt: Oh, thank you.
• 9:11
  Matt: We are are of course recording this before the new year, so I will just assume that the number has changed and the hellscape continues.
• 9:22
  Matt: We yeah, so we've talked about questions before we even got to our question segment, but I think Eric should I I feel like we should jump right in because we've got two good questions to get to.
• 9:41
  Matt: Yes.
• 9:41
  Matt: And I say two because these are were submitted to us and they go along the same theme, and we wanted to keep the keep them together.
• 9:52
  Matt: Yep.
• 9:53
  Matt: Because Eric, I think we need to address I I hate to say it, but it's possible that some inaccurate information has come out of our mouths at times.
• 10:08
  Eric: We we here at You Didn't Ask for This.
• 10:11
  Eric: We pride ourselves on not always being correct, but having integrity.
• 10:18
  Matt: Yes.
• 10:19
  Matt: Whether or not we are correct, I do feel as though we provide definitive answers, do you not?
• 10:25
  Eric: Yeah, I agree.
• 10:27
  Eric: We try to be definitive, we try to be sincere in all that we do.
• 10:33
  Matt: We provide definitive information as decided by us.
• 10:39
  Eric: Yes.
• 10:40
  Eric: So it's with that that we sort of wanted to issue uh an apology?
• 10:47
  Eric: No, an acknowledgement.
• 10:48
  Eric: An acknowledgement.
• 10:50
  Matt: An acknowledgement that in the heat of improv.
• 10:55
  Eric: And we'd like to remind you all that we're human.
• 10:59
  Eric: Yes, we are not toys.
• 11:01
  Eric: We're not toys.
• 11:02
  Eric: If you put our toys into the cupboard from Indy into the cupboard, we would become human.
• 11:07
  Eric: Yes.
• 11:08
  Eric: But we're just people.
• 11:09
  Matt: In the heat of the the improv that you, dear listener, have come to love, and hence why you're back for yet another episode of our bullshit.
• 11:23
  Matt: Which, in a roundabout way, you know, could be argued that we we were doing it because of you.
• 11:28
  Matt: We were doing it because of you.
• 11:31
  Matt: We may have given off some inaccurate baking tips.
• 11:37
  Matt: Up to and including.
• 11:39
  Matt: Most notably in the Gaston episode question, we may or may not have asserted that eggs are in bread.
• 11:52
  Matt: And while there are breads that include eggs, upon reflection, that is not true for your your basic breads and your baguettes.
• 12:05
  Eric: Yeah.
• 12:06
  Eric: And who can say which one of us even made that assertion?
• 12:11
  Matt: Who I who could go back and listen?
• 12:14
  Matt: Who who can say?
• 12:16
  Matt: Who can say?
• 12:17
  Matt: And who among us could have could go back and say that they were a person who bakes and then also agreed with the other person saying inaccurate recipes.
• 12:32
  Matt: If only there was a way to go back and find out.
• 12:36
  Matt: But we only got you know what, Eric?
• 12:38
  Matt: Um, you didn't ask for this.
• 12:39
  Matt: I like to think we are only looking forward.
• 12:42
  Matt: Thank you.
• 12:43
  Matt: Find the answer.
• 12:44
  Matt: We it we We respect the past, we acknowledge it.
• 12:48
  Matt: We that's right.
• 12:49
  Matt: We acknowledge it, we write our answer down in g in a gold letter plate as soon as we're done recording, and we move on.
• 13:00
  Matt: Yeah.
• 13:02
  Eric: So we hope that we all can move forward and that we can heal and continue on with honesty, integrity, and sincerity.
• 13:17
  Eric: Do you think his mom's sex toys came to life too?
• 13:19
  Matt: Okay.
• 13:20
  Matt: So for those reasons, we wanted to dedicate this episode to two baking questions that we have received.
• 13:30
  Matt: Yes.
• 13:30
  Matt: Um as a an ode to uh all the bakers out there that might feel scorned.
• 13:38
  Eric: This is our this is this is us saying our bad.
• 13:42
  Matt: Yes, this is our Mia Copa.
• 13:44
  Matt: Yes, and also with you.
• 13:46
  Matt: The first question, whether you bake or not, I think is gonna hit home for a lot of people.
• 13:54
  Matt: And I actually should should point out that both of these questions come from the same source, which is simply Lindsay on Instagram, who just so happens to be my wife.
• 14:09
  Matt: Conflict of interest.
• 14:11
  Matt: Uh okay, yes, fair, fair as assertion, but other Lindsay's awesome.
• 14:19
  Matt: But at any rate, yeah.
• 14:21
  Matt: This question is is one that I'm sure people are gonna have feelings about, and that question is what is the most consequential segment on the great British bake-off?
• 14:36
  Eric: And it's actually interesting because when I first saw that question, if you remember our conversation, I misunderstood it.
• 14:42
  Eric: I thought we were asking what was like the most consequential moment of the show.
• 14:47
  Eric: Yeah.
• 14:48
  Eric: I think we can all agree that's Ian throwing his baked Alaska into the trash before it could be judged.
• 14:53
  Matt: I don't know that it's the most consequential, so much as it is the most shocking.
• 14:59
  Eric: Yeah.
• 15:00
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 15:01
  Eric: It will I'll say it's the most consequential because it is the moment by which it happened the first season.
• 15:06
  Eric: So it's the moment by which all other moments from that point forward against would be judged.
• 15:12
  Eric: Yes.
• 15:12
  Eric: Yeah.
• 15:13
  Eric: It is the first shocker.
• 15:15
  Eric: Yeah, absolutely.
• 15:17
  Eric: But the question is, what is the most consequential segment?
• 15:20
  Eric: Yes.
• 15:20
  Eric: And our segments are the signature bake, yes, the technical, and the showstopper challenge.
• 15:28
  Matt: And the showstopper.
• 15:30
  Matt: For anyone who is not familiar with the Great British Bake Off, Eric, can you give us a little uh a little bit more detail of each of those segments?
• 15:38
  Eric: It's it's basically the antithesis of every American cooking show ever.
• 15:43
  Eric: Like it is a group of the most lovely British people gathered in a tent in a gorgeous, like, countryside.
• 15:54
  Matt: Yeah, they're always at a manor of some kind.
• 15:56
  Matt: Oh my god, they're cheap.
• 15:58
  Eric: There's always some livestock about Yeah, and they just they have a baking competition and the and people get eliminated and the best baker wins.
• 16:07
  Eric: But y'all, if you haven't seen Great British Bake Off, it's just what it is, is it's it's baking for the soul.
• 16:14
  Eric: Yeah, it is bleach for my soul.
• 16:17
  Eric: It is the most low like the stakes are there, but it is just the most like low intensity and everybody is helping each other.
• 16:27
  Matt: Oh my god! They're on the brink of elimination, but they're helping their quote unquote competition.
• 16:32
  Eric: Yeah.
• 16:33
  Eric: Oh my god, they're like begging each other, like, oh, oh, oh dear, how can I help?
• 16:37
  Eric: How can I help?
• 16:37
  Eric: Oh, oh dear.
• 16:38
  Eric: Yeah, it's like the the meanest thing you'll hear a contestant say to another contestant is like, oh yeah, well, it could have gone better, I'm sure.
• 16:46
  Matt: Yeah, exactly.
• 16:47
  Matt: And they're like talking head by the creek afterwards.
• 16:50
  Eric: Yeah.
• 16:51
  Eric: Oh yeah, and they're like, they're just hugging and like holding each other, having good cries, laughing.
• 16:56
  Matt: There are there are those instances where someone gets eliminated and and they had like a signature outfit or something.
• 17:04
  Matt: Uh it's happened a couple of times where people have come in with uh the like an article of clothing to pay homage to the person who was just voted out.
• 17:16
  Matt: That doesn't happen in America.
• 17:19
  Matt: No, we're monsters to each other here.
• 17:22
  Matt: That's why when it was announced that they were doing an Amer like the great American Are they?
• 17:28
  Matt: No, they already did it for like years.
• 17:30
  Matt: Oh my god, was it a shit show?
• 17:32
  Matt: I haven't watched it.
• 17:33
  Matt: Paul, Paul is one of the judges, all the contestants are American.
• 17:37
  Matt: I'm not interested.
• 17:39
  Eric: No, no, thank you.
• 17:41
  Matt: So that's a a little breakdown of the show.
• 17:43
  Matt: Yeah.
• 17:44
  Matt: Let's talk about these segments.
• 17:46
  Matt: The very briefly for context.
• 17:49
  Matt: The first segment is the uh signature challenge, yeah.
• 17:55
  Matt: And that is supposed to be they've been given an assignment.
• 17:59
  Matt: Like if it's biscuit week, they're making cookies, you American bastards, if you don't understand a biscuit.
• 18:07
  Matt: And the weeks are themed, y'all.
• 18:09
  Matt: And the weeks are themed, of course.
• 18:11
  Matt: So they have to come in with their signature cookies.
• 18:14
  Matt: It's supposed to be what they do best, right?
• 18:17
  Eric: Yes, it's their thing.
• 18:18
  Eric: Like you're your your bring us your famous like cookies that everyone asks you to make.
• 18:23
  Matt: They were given an assignment, but it's not so specific.
• 18:28
  Matt: Yeah.
• 18:28
  Matt: Like they they were given an assignment, but they have the choice of like how they flip it.
• 18:33
  Eric: It's as vague as it can be.
• 18:34
  Eric: It's like, bring us a cake.
• 18:36
  Eric: I don't know that it's that vague.
• 18:38
  Eric: If they want to be more specific, they might they might be like, bring us a fruit cake.
• 18:42
  Eric: Right.
• 18:42
  Matt: Something like that.
• 18:43
  Matt: The technical is judged blind by the by the two judges, which is to say they don't watch the process at all.
• 18:52
  Matt: They give the assignment, the bakers have no idea what it is.
• 18:55
  Matt: They have very vague instructions.
• 18:58
  Matt: Yeah.
• 18:59
  Eric: They aren't given measurements in most cases.
• 19:02
  Matt: Yeah.
• 19:02
  Matt: Sometimes, like if there's a if there's a cake element involved, it'll just say bake a sponge.
• 19:09
  Matt: And it won't say anything else.
• 19:11
  Matt: Like it won't say anything, no recipe for that sponge.
• 19:15
  Eric: It'll say like whip the icing until it's ready.
• 19:18
  Eric: Like, what does that mean?
• 19:19
  Eric: And it's usually, usually the bakes here are like they're they're usually bakes that are like not too well known, or they're like very specific like things that or they're very well known, but they're difficult.
• 19:31
  Eric: Exactly.
• 19:32
  Matt: Or difficult to be quote unquote perfect.
• 19:35
  Matt: Like a souffle.
• 19:36
  Matt: Like early on, a souffle was a good technical because technically it's hard to get it very like perfect.
• 19:45
  Matt: But the judges leave the tent, they don't see it, they come back, they just issue judgment without knowing whose bakes are whose.
• 19:54
  Matt: And then the final is the show stopper.
• 19:57
  Matt: And the show stopper is uh again a given assignment, like in this most recent season.
• 20:05
  Matt: I I'll use this example because it it made the rounds on social media, even if you don't watch it.
• 20:11
  Matt: They needed to make like a sculpture cake in the image of a hero of theirs.
• 20:18
  Matt: Like there's a horrific bust of David Bowie that's involved.
• 20:23
  Eric: Um, I see, I haven't gotten there yet.
• 20:26
  Matt: Yeah.
• 20:26
  Matt: Well, okay.
• 20:27
  Matt: Spoiler for you and for No, it's fine, it's fine.
• 20:31
  Matt: But that's the showstopper.
• 20:33
  Matt: It's you know, something that would be the centerpiece of a gala.
• 20:36
  Matt: Yeah.
• 20:37
  Matt: It's the thing that everyone goes, oh right.
• 20:40
  Matt: That well, that's what it is supposed to do.
• 20:43
  Matt: Supposed to be.
• 20:44
  Matt: So those are the three.
• 20:46
  Matt: The show is judged.
• 20:48
  Matt: Uh the person who is eliminated is eliminated based on that week.
• 20:54
  Matt: At least that's what the rules of the show are.
• 20:57
  Matt: Yeah, you could do that.
• 20:58
  Matt: How they do across the three segments, as opposed to across all of the weeks up to that point.
• 21:05
  Matt: Now you could be you could argue that there is some bias that enters.
• 21:09
  Matt: I think that's true personally.
• 21:12
  Matt: But on the whole, it's it's pretty they're pretty good about even if a beloved baker had a terrible week, they they could go home simply because of the bad week.
• 21:25
  Matt: So our question is So the question is which of these three specifically the words used in the question are what is the most consequential segment?
• 21:38
  Matt: Consequential.
• 21:39
  Matt: That's the hinge word.
• 21:41
  Matt: Yeah.
• 21:42
  Matt: Yeah.
• 21:42
  Matt: And I take it to mean the segment that is most influential on your placement that week.
• 21:52
  Eric: Ah, and I agree with that.
• 21:54
  Eric: I would also extend it to mean my the other angle I do want to approach it from is which one.
• 22:00
  Eric: Is the greatest indication of baking talent.
• 22:04
  Matt: Yes.
• 22:04
  Eric: Yeah.
• 22:05
  Matt: Yes, for sure.
• 22:07
  Matt: Uh I think th I I agree.
• 22:09
  Matt: I think those are the two tent poles that um the word consequential brings up for me.
• 22:17
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 22:19
  Eric: So I I know my answer.
• 22:22
  Matt: Well, please.
• 22:23
  Matt: Do you do you know yours?
• 22:25
  Matt: I think I do.
• 22:26
  Matt: I had an original answer, and I think I've changed mine as I've thought about this in anticipation of this uh discussion.
• 22:34
  Eric: Alright, on the count of three, we're gonna say our answer.
• 22:37
  Eric: Okay.
• 22:38
  Eric: One, two, three.
• 22:41
  Eric: Technicature.
• 22:43
  Eric: Okay.
• 22:43
  Eric: Okay.
• 22:46
  Matt: Alright, so I was in team technical.
• 22:51
  Matt: And I had my answer swayed after researching this some more.
• 22:58
  Matt: So why don't you start on the technical?
• 23:02
  Eric: What is the case for the technical?
• 23:04
  Eric: So here's my deal with the technical.
• 23:06
  Eric: Why it's the most going to one end of the tent first, why it's the most consequential for your placement.
• 23:12
  Eric: The technical, after having your signature bake, you did good, you did bad, you whatever.
• 23:21
  Eric: The technical is usually the tell.
• 23:25
  Eric: It is usually the okay, it's do or die time for someone.
• 23:31
  Eric: Like after the technical, you either know someone's like, okay, well, unless they burn the tent down, they're not going home.
• 23:39
  Eric: Or you know they're like, okay, you're gonna need to blow it out of the water.
• 23:47
  Eric: It is kind of, it is kind of it sets the tone for that final stage.
• 23:52
  Eric: It kind of sets their their like now, their emotional and mental attitude going into that final challenge.
• 23:59
  Eric: Going into the final.
• 24:01
  Matt: But can you really say that that sets the tone when it is the second challenge?
• 24:08
  Eric: Yeah, I will, I will argue this because the tone can be set with the signature.
• 24:12
  Eric: Like it you could have an abysmal signature, but if you kick ass at the technical, or if you just do a really good job at the technical, you'd be like, okay, got some breathing room.
• 24:22
  Eric: I don't have to be like amazing.
• 24:24
  Eric: But if you have a bad signature and like an okay to bad technical, that's that's when you that's when you know how you have to do in the in the last challenge.
• 24:36
  Eric: The technical is when you know how you have to do in the last one if you don't want to go home.
• 24:42
  Matt: I think I agree with you for the most part on that statement.
• 24:46
  Matt: But what I'd give you pushback on is the okay to bad part of your result place placement.
• 24:55
  Matt: I think in the I don't have the statistics on this.
• 24:58
  Matt: I'm sure maybe they exist, but I think the vast majority of you know, for most weeks, I think the vast majority of bakers, obviously, fall somewhere in the middle of how well they did, regardless of how many, like where they placed.
• 25:16
  Matt: Because what, you know, in the last week there's only three.
• 25:19
  Matt: So the middle is only one spot.
• 25:22
  Matt: But I'm talking about the middle quality, you know, from a perfect technical to uh couldn't, you know, is basically uncooked nonsense.
• 25:34
  Matt: Yeah, you know, yeah.
• 25:35
  Matt: If those are the if those are the two spectrums, if that is the range of the spectrum, I think most people have a technical result that is technically somewhere in the middle of the quality scale.
• 25:49
  Matt: Yeah, yeah.
• 25:50
  Matt: I agree with that.
• 25:51
  Matt: I think if you if you blow it out of the water on the technical, like you're in great shape.
• 25:57
  Matt: And I think if you hand in something terrible and you're in last place in the technical, you better have one hell of a showstopper.
• 26:06
  Eric: Yeah.
• 26:07
  Matt: Here's what I'll say about the signature.
• 26:08
  Eric: Hit me with it.
• 26:10
  Matt: The show is meant to be finding the the best amateur baker in the country, right?
• 26:18
  Matt: Yeah.
• 26:19
  Matt: So if you're coming in with a signature bake, something that you are supposed to, this is supposed to be a specialty.
• 26:31
  Matt: Made it a hundred times.
• 26:32
  Matt: You've made it a hundred times or made something similar to it and are sort of, you know, shoehorning it into the parameters of challenge, I'm sure that happens too.
• 26:43
  Matt: But theoretically, these are supposed to be your signature dishes.
• 26:48
  Eric: Yeah.
• 26:49
  Matt: Something that you do better than anybody else.
• 26:52
  Matt: If you turn in a shit signature, what does that say about you as a baker?
• 26:59
  Eric: I I I will agree with that.
• 27:01
  Eric: Uh, if you fuck up on your signature, that looks way worse on you than if you fuck up a technical because the technical is designed to be difficult.
• 27:10
  Eric: Right.
• 27:11
  Eric: It is it is designed to be technically challenging.
• 27:14
  Matt: And that's why I think it is okay that most people have a okay technical result.
• 27:21
  Matt: Was it was it the the perfect template that uh Paul Hollywood shows off in the in the mini tent?
• 27:30
  Eric: Oh yeah.
• 27:30
  Eric: In the judge.
• 27:31
  Eric: Where he talks about how much he loves making these, and like he just he's just you can hear it's like, oh yeah, look at that perfect, that perfect crust.
• 27:39
  Eric: You just look at that perfect crust.
• 27:41
  Eric: Scrape that crust.
• 27:42
  Eric: Nice and perfect.
• 27:43
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 27:45
  Eric: Like, yeah, Paul, we get it.
• 27:46
  Eric: You made that.
• 27:46
  Matt: You you you get past that, and then you get to the curd.
• 27:49
  Matt: That's I do love a good curd from him.
• 27:52
  Eric: And and you and you my mine is uh uh oh it's overworked.
• 27:57
  Eric: You've just overworked it.
• 27:59
  Eric: You can overwork it.
• 28:00
  Eric: You overworked it, mate.
• 28:02
  Eric: Oh he he's so close to sounding like a beetle.
• 28:05
  Eric: He's ve he's dangerously close to a beetle like he doesn't, but he's so close.
• 28:10
  Matt: It's not quite there.
• 28:11
  Matt: It's it's like a flatter accent, and then when he does speak, because of course the the ultimate compliment on the show is a silent Paul Hollywood handshake.
• 28:22
  Matt: Yes, which honestly aren't we all chasing the high of a Paul Hollywood?
• 28:27
  Matt: Chasing that bliss from those with those being met with those piercing blue eyes of his.
• 28:35
  Matt: Those God, those white walker eyes, those white walker-esque, husky eyes that he's peering into your soul and laying judgment upon it.
• 28:46
  Eric: Oh god, yeah, yeah.
• 28:49
  Eric: Um, I will say to circle back real quick, I absolutely agree.
• 28:54
  Eric: Like, if you fuck up on the signature, that speaks so much worse.
• 28:58
  Eric: Talk about tone setting.
• 28:59
  Matt: If you if you hand Paul Hollywood and Prue or Mary Berry, depending on where you are in the saga, depending on where you are, if you hand them a fucking soggy bottom in your signature bake, come on now.
• 29:15
  Matt: Like, how does this look on you?
• 29:17
  Eric: Yeah.
• 29:18
  Eric: I I will I agree with that.
• 29:19
  Eric: And that looks terrible.
• 29:20
  Matt: That is the taste that they are going to go into the technical with.
• 29:24
  Matt: Now they judge it blind, but when you so let's say Eric Poach is there, he turns in a sh uh uh a shit signature, a soggy bottom signature.
• 29:37
  Matt: Or actually, I won't do that to you.
• 29:39
  Matt: You turned in a fine, uh an okay crumble.
• 29:44
  Matt: Okay crumble of a signature that probably if it was ranked, you're in the like bottom third.
• 29:53
  Matt: You're not in the bottom, you're not last, but definitely you're you're on the bottom tier, right?
• 30:00
  Matt: Yeah, yeah.
• 30:01
  Matt: And then you turn in an equally bottom tier technical.
• 30:08
  Matt: Now, when they find out, when Paul Hollywood says, and who's this one?
• 30:14
  Matt: When he when he goes over that plate looking for the culprit of these melty uh uh undercooked God, when his gaze turns to me like the eye of Sauron.
• 30:29
  Matt: Yeah, when he basically says, and who's responsible for this?
• 30:35
  Matt: When when he lays that on you and you sheepishly raise your hand from your stool, when you have that, knowing you turned in an okay crumble, how do you go to sleep not in a full on panic about your showstopper the next day?
• 30:57
  Eric: That's that's my point though.
• 30:59
  Eric: Like, I I that's why I think it's the most consequential, the technical, because you can't go to that place until you've got the technical under your belt.
• 31:07
  Matt: Now, isn't it interesting that both of us seem to not even want to acknowledge that it there could be a third person in this podcast advocating for the showstopper?
• 31:21
  Matt: Why do you think the showstopper isn't?
• 31:26
  Eric: I think the showstopper, so once so once the tone hath been set, if you had a good it not amazing, but if you had a middle-of-the-road signature, a middle of the road technical, and like you can go and like the showstopper for you is just do the thing.
• 31:46
  Eric: You don't have to like go balls to the wall.
• 31:49
  Eric: Maybe you're trying to get starbaker, but if you've just been doing middle of the road so far, probably not.
• 31:54
  Matt: I feel like there's a lot more what so if you have because look at this scenario, and I feel like this again, I don't have the statistics, but I feel from memory that most people who like come in last in the technical, but did at least okay in the in the signature and the showstopper combined, I don't think they often end up in danger.
• 32:27
  Matt: And vice versa, I'm not sure if you have a colossal failure of a showstopper and a less than savory signature, but came in first in the technical, I don't know that that saves you.
• 32:43
  Eric: Yeah, that that's when the that's when the calls get real hard.
• 32:47
  Matt: Well, actually, you know, I'm gonna walk that back.
• 32:49
  Matt: Here we go.
• 32:50
  Matt: We're already issuing another retraction.
• 32:51
  Matt: I'm issuing a retraction on myself because I do actually think it was how I versed it that made me rethink it.
• 32:58
  Eric: I think if you come in first in the technical with and it was actually good, not just that okay, yeah, that's the important qualifier.
• 33:07
  Eric: You yeah, you weren't first among losers.
• 33:10
  Matt: You weren't first among losers, but you actually did a great technical and the other two sucked, that might save you from going home.
• 33:20
  Eric: Yeah.
• 33:20
  Eric: At that point, it also says it pushes us in the realm of uh someone's gonna have to fuck up way worse than I did.
• 33:26
  Eric: Right.
• 33:27
  Eric: Yeah.
• 33:28
  Eric: Yeah, you are sort of putting an onus on other people.
• 33:31
  Eric: I will say, and then that actually speaks to something I wanted to mention earlier because we talked about how you know if you fuck up on the signature, like that's that's awful.
• 33:39
  Matt: I do think it sets a bad tone.
• 33:40
  Eric: But if you knock the technical out of the park, that is immensely impressive.
• 33:47
  Eric: I think that's more impressive than if you have a kick-ass signature.
• 33:50
  Eric: If you have a kick-ass signature, you better have a kick-ass signature.
• 33:52
  Eric: You've made this, I gave you weeks to like come up with your own.
• 33:57
  Eric: Exactly.
• 33:58
  Matt: You you exactly in what you were just saying is my point.
• 34:01
  Matt: You better have a good signature because the technical, especially as the show has gone on, uh the technical has sort of evolved into these pastries and and such, these dishes that aren't very common, and that the bakers, I would say, in the more recent series, z almost across the board, have never heard of.
• 34:25
  Matt: Yeah, no, no, it's it's some wild shit.
• 34:28
  Matt: It's some wild shit.
• 34:29
  Matt: So it's some wild shit.
• 34:31
  Matt: So that so that's that's where I'm hung up, right?
• 34:35
  Matt: Because I think if you come in on a challenge that is supposed to be the the best of what you're bringing to the table, and it's not good.
• 34:48
  Eric: I don't know.
• 34:50
  Eric: Yeah.
• 34:51
  Eric: Now, I do want to, and maybe this will help.
• 34:55
  Eric: I want to approach, we're at one end of the tent right now, we're sipping tea with uh, you know, with with the hosts.
• 35:02
  Eric: Yeah.
• 35:03
  Eric: We're over there with we're over there with the table.
• 35:04
  Matt: We're at the tea table.
• 35:06
  Eric: Yeah, we're at the tea table.
• 35:08
  Eric: Now we need to move over to the other tent pole.
• 35:11
  Eric: Okay.
• 35:11
  Eric: We need to move over to the to the oven of baking talent.
• 35:17
  unknown: Okay.
• 35:18
  Eric: Like what segment speaks to what makes a like a great baker.
• 35:25
  Eric: That is why technical is also my answer.
• 35:28
  Matt: And I think actually here I do agree with you that technical, if you are able to get those vague directions on something you've never baked before, yeah, you and you knock it out of the park, I think that shows a pretty, I do think that shows a pretty high level of technical skill and baking knowledge.
• 35:55
  Eric: Yeah.
• 35:56
  Matt: You're able to sort of improvise, even though that's not really something you can do in baking.
• 36:02
  Eric: Or like teach yourself new skills on the fly.
• 36:05
  Matt: Yeah, or at least have enough skills in your back pocket that you can sort of adapt.
• 36:12
  Matt: Like, even if you don't know what something means, I I I I think I have a way to get to this end result.
• 36:20
  Matt: Yeah.
• 36:21
  Eric: And it also shows like abilities with like consistency.
• 36:24
  Eric: A l a number of, and that's why it's called the technical challenge is just technical proficiencies that you that you bring to bear, that you have to have if you want to hope of passing that challenge, let alone kicking his ass.
• 36:36
  Matt: Yeah, I think I agree with you there.
• 36:38
  Matt: And because the signature, yeah, I think I I think I agree with you there because the signature is supposed to be something you already do well.
• 36:46
  Eric: Yeah, like it's not, it's not yet, it shouldn't even be a question of if you can make it.
• 36:50
  Matt: Yes, and I think you come in with something that you do well, but it doesn't, but you have a you have bad luck or whatever.
• 37:00
  Matt: It doesn't go well this time, but then you have a great technical, that shows that you're on it.
• 37:08
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 37:09
  Eric: It it it's it's the tech and the technical is is your is your chance for redemption.
• 37:17
  Eric: Or if you had a bad a bad signature.
• 37:20
  Matt: Yeah, it certainly would even the scale if you had a bad signature, but then came in first or second.
• 37:27
  Matt: I think that does, however, put some more pressure on the showstopper.
• 37:32
  Matt: So are are what we're are are what we circling is what we're circling the realization that there has to be at least one standout in the three to to guarantee to kind to save you, not necessarily talk about Star Baker.
• 37:53
  Eric: No, but like, yeah, to guarantee your safety, you gotta knock it out of the park on something.
• 37:57
  Eric: On something.
• 37:58
  Matt: On something.
• 37:59
  Matt: Do you think there is a segment where you can knock it out of the park and it won't matter if you did badly on the other two?
• 38:08
  Eric: That will depend entirely upon the competition around you.
• 38:12
  Eric: That kind of goes back to what I said, like, someone is going to have to fuck up worse than I did, or someone will have to do just as well as I did, but they did better than me on something else before.
• 38:24
  Eric: Mm-hmm.
• 38:25
  Matt: Yeah, I think Yeah, I think I agree with you, and I'm beginning to come around to the opinion that the technical has the most saving power.
• 38:36
  Eric: Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 38:37
  Eric: And I and I will absolutely agree that the signature tone setting-wise, yeah, you fuck that up right out the gate.
• 38:45
  Eric: Mary Berry can't save you.
• 38:47
  Matt: Mary Barry can't save you.
• 38:48
  Matt: No one can save you.
• 38:50
  Eric: Joel and Sandy, they can't save you.
• 38:52
  Matt: No, no, no.
• 38:53
  Matt: So not Joel.
• 38:54
  Matt: Sorry.
• 38:54
  Matt: Noel and Sandy.
• 38:55
  Eric: They can't save you.
• 38:56
  Matt: Yeah, Noel and Sandy.
• 38:57
  Matt: Although now it's Noel and Matt, actually.
• 38:59
  Eric: Yeah, that I that blew my mind.
• 39:01
  Eric: I miss Sandy.
• 39:02
  Eric: I loved Sandy.
• 39:03
  Eric: I do love Sandy.
• 39:05
  Eric: She's like your cool fucking cool fucking smart as hell aunt.
• 39:10
  Matt: Yeah, when Noel and Sandy started, I didn't think I was gonna like Noel, but now I love Noel.
• 39:16
  Matt: I love Noel.
• 39:17
  Eric: I love all right, all few pop.
• 39:20
  Matt: Yeah, his his bits are are pretty choice.
• 39:24
  Matt: Um and in this last season especially, he's got some really good ones.
• 39:28
  Matt: I think I think you know what I think I'm yielding, Eric.
• 39:31
  Matt: I think I think you are right overall.
• 39:33
  Matt: I think technical overall.
• 39:35
  Matt: That was my original thought, and I I followed this tone setting path to my to my uh demise.
• 39:45
  Eric: And I will not argue you're absolutely correct about tone setting.
• 39:48
  Matt: But I think overall, because the technical has I think it might have the most saving power if you do it well.
• 39:56
  Matt: Yeah, it's got the most swing to it.
• 39:58
  Matt: I think it has the most swing.
• 39:59
  Matt: Because and you know why?
• 40:01
  Matt: I think it's because it's the only one that's ranked.
• 40:04
  Eric: Yeah, that's a good point.
• 40:06
  Matt: That's the only one that's artistic to go around with it.
• 40:09
  Matt: When they're sitting at the tea table and they're breaking everything down with their with their miniature version of everybody's product on the showstopper.
• 40:17
  Matt: When they're sitting there, I think being able to go, well, she came in third in the technical.
• 40:25
  Eric: I think that they always bring it up too.
• 40:27
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 40:29
  Matt: Okay.
• 40:30
  Matt: Well, that's another one in stone.
• 40:33
  Matt: Yeah.
• 40:33
  Matt: In the book.
• 40:34
  Matt: That's another one in the books.
• 40:36
  Matt: That's another one in the books.
• 40:37
  Eric: Another bread in the oven.
• 40:38
  Matt: Do you want to hit us with the second question?
• 40:41
  Eric: Oh boy, howdy, do I.
• 40:43
  Eric: Um, second question.
• 40:46
  Eric: I my I was thinking about how much I love the Paul Hollywood accent, so I almost did it.
• 40:54
  Eric: I I like only like almost like my second question.
• 40:58
  Eric: Um, my s our second question.
• 41:02
  Eric: What's the best cookie and why is it chocolate chip?
• 41:07
  Eric: It's a very good question, simply, Lindsay.
• 41:09
  Matt: Yes.
• 41:10
  Matt: It it it does I think we need to address that it includes an answer.
• 41:16
  Matt: It does, and thankfully it includes the correct answer.
• 41:20
  Matt: It's hard to argue with.
• 41:22
  Eric: Yeah.
• 41:23
  Eric: Really, the question we have here is which variation of chocolate chip is the best.
• 41:30
  Matt: All right.
• 41:32
  Matt: So I am not gonna lie.
• 41:34
  Matt: I know I have agreed and said some inaccurate baking instructions on this podcast.
• 41:41
  Matt: I I own up to that.
• 41:43
  Eric: And it's in the past.
• 41:44
  Matt: However, I am a legitimate good baker, and I happen to be in possession of the best chocolate chip cookie recipe known to me.
• 41:58
  Eric: It's true.
• 41:59
  Eric: I I now whose recipe is this?
• 42:03
  Matt: It has evolved from a recipe that I originally found online, I will admit, but I have made adjustments and now it is mine.
• 42:13
  Eric: Oh.
• 42:14
  Eric: Oh, oh, I have so many questions, Matt.
• 42:17
  Matt: Yes, yeah, I bet you do.
• 42:19
  Matt: But I will say, because I feel so strongly about them, they are big chocolate chip cookies, first of all.
• 42:27
  Matt: They have they have a decent size to them.
• 42:30
  Matt: Um, they have a gooey center.
• 42:33
  Matt: Okay, but a crisp external skin.
• 42:40
  Eric: Oh.
• 42:41
  Eric: Oh, can I get some skinless chocolate chip cookies?
• 42:44
  Matt: I'll take mine without skin.
• 42:45
  Eric: Yeah, build a skinless, thank you.
• 42:47
  Matt: So, yes.
• 42:49
  Matt: So I feel very strongly about them.
• 42:52
  Matt: I measure them out when I'm putting them on the tray with an ice cream scoop.
• 42:56
  Matt: And by the way, I am also in we can have an argument about how good my chocolate chip cookies are.
• 43:04
  Matt: They're the best, but we can that's debatable.
• 43:07
  Matt: What's not debatable is that I have the best ice cream scooper on the planet, and I will evangelize for this ice cream scooper across across the country.
• 43:21
  Eric: Is it one with the little swooshy?
• 43:23
  Eric: Does it have the little swooshy?
• 43:25
  Matt: What do you mean by a swooshy?
• 43:27
  Eric: A swooshy?
• 43:28
  Matt: Oh, you mean the like cutoff?
• 43:30
  Eric: Yeah.
• 43:31
  Matt: No, Eric.
• 43:32
  Matt: Okay, okay.
• 43:33
  Matt: Sorry.
• 43:33
  Matt: Sell me on this ice cream scoop.
• 43:35
  Matt: It doesn't need it doesn't need that.
• 43:39
  Matt: And I'll tell you why.
• 43:42
  Matt: Okay, Eric, I've just sent you, I've just sent you the ice cream scooper I am talking about.
• 43:47
  Matt: And this is the Zero 1016 stainless steel or excuse me, aluminum uh ice cream scooper.
• 43:58
  Matt: And let me explain.
• 44:00
  Matt: To you, why it is the best.
• 44:02
  Eric: Aluminium.
• 44:03
  Matt: Yes, you might be shocked.
• 44:05
  Matt: You might have sticker shock.
• 44:07
  Matt: Currently on Amazon it goes for$20.90.
• 44:11
  Eric: $20.90?
• 44:12
  Matt: That's it seems expensive for a ice cream scoop.
• 44:16
  Matt: But let me tell you, Eric, you use this ice cream scoop.
• 44:20
  Matt: Your days of wrenching that ice cream out of the carton are done.
• 44:26
  Matt: Because this ice cream scoop has a liquid, a conducive liquid in its handle.
• 44:34
  Matt: So when you grasp it with your warm-blooded hand, it takes that heat out.
• 44:43
  Matt: It extracts it from your blood and it makes it its own blood.
• 44:47
  Matt: And it pumps its whole body full of your heat.
• 44:52
  Matt: So it is now an extension of your very body as you plunge it into that ice cream and it comes out seamlessly.
• 45:03
  Matt: That is buck fucking wild.
• 45:06
  Matt: It is worth every penny, but that is not what we're here to discuss.
• 45:11
  Eric: What I do want to discuss real quick, just gonna read some of these ratings, these reviews.
• 45:18
  Eric: Yeah.
• 45:19
  Eric: First two are one-star reviews.
• 45:21
  Eric: I have only used this Z-roll a few times, put it back in my utensil drawer, and within a short time, around two weeks, I noticed an oily substance all over the utensil drawer.
• 45:31
  Eric: My Z roll had a leak.
• 45:32
  Eric: It was summer.
• 45:33
  Eric: It was hot in my house, no AC.
• 45:35
  Eric: And based on other one-star reviews, it appears that heat could be the problem.
• 45:40
  Eric: That is not true.
• 45:42
  Matt: I have never had a problem.
• 45:44
  Matt: You know what?
• 45:45
  Matt: That person, that person doesn't get to come back as a toy.
• 45:49
  Eric: I don't know what happens to that.
• 45:51
  Eric: They don't get to come back as a toy.
• 45:53
  Eric: Now, Matt, I'll read you a five-star just uh Oh, they wrote this on my fucking birthday.
• 45:57
  Eric: Uh, five-star review.
• 45:59
  Eric: As a physics nut, I could easily understand the concept of heat transfer.
• 46:05
  Eric: But still I marveled at how quickly heat transferred from my hand to the concave end of the scoop, allowing the scoop of ice cream to totally release.
• 46:17
  Eric: Subsequent scoops adhered for but a short time before dropping intact.
• 46:24
  Matt: It's scientifically the best.
• 46:26
  Matt: That's what that means.
• 46:27
  Eric: It's backed by science, yeah.
• 46:29
  Matt: Okay.
• 46:29
  Matt: That's a bitch and ice cream scoop.
• 46:31
  Matt: It is.
• 46:31
  Matt: I highly recommend it for everyone.
• 46:34
  Matt: Now I cannot emphasize we are not getting paid to say I can't emphasize enough that I wish we were.
• 46:41
  Matt: The products you've heard through the first seven episodes of this podcast have yielded no financial gain to two of us.
• 46:52
  Matt: But no.
• 46:53
  Matt: And I and I want to make sure this is heard, they could.
• 46:56
  Eric: They really could, y'all.
• 46:58
  Matt: They absolutely could if you would like us to to purposely sponsor somebody.
• 47:05
  Matt: Yeah right now, you're just getting whatever comes to a mind.
• 47:09
  Matt: But we we are open to making money, I think is what we're trying to say.
• 47:13
  Eric: Oh, yeah, yeah.
• 47:13
  Eric: Please, we're actors.
• 47:14
  Eric: We sell our bodies every day.
• 47:16
  Eric: Every day.
• 47:18
  Eric: Every day.
• 47:19
  Matt: And we don't even need to right now.
• 47:21
  Matt: There's a pandemic.
• 47:22
  Matt: No.
• 47:23
  Matt: But that doesn't address the chocolate chip cookie question on our desk today.
• 47:28
  Matt: Okay.
• 47:29
  Matt: Yep.
• 47:30
  Matt: So Eric.
• 47:31
  Matt: Yeah.
• 47:32
  Matt: I think I think it's the purest.
• 47:36
  Matt: Because like, right, what what's more pure?
• 47:38
  Matt: If you take the chocolate chips away, what are you left with?
• 47:44
  Eric: Cookie.
• 47:45
  Matt: Shitty cookie.
• 47:46
  Eric: You're left with a boneless, skinless chocolate chip cookie.
• 47:50
  Matt: Yeah, you're you're left with a cookie without a soul.
• 47:55
  Matt: Because like, look at a sugar cookie.
• 47:57
  Matt: That doesn't have any it could, but m uh your base level sugar cookie doesn't have any frills to it.
• 48:05
  Matt: It's just about the sugar.
• 48:07
  Eric: Yeah, which which does raise a question.
• 48:09
  Eric: So you've got oatmeal flavored cookies.
• 48:13
  Eric: You've got sugar flavored cookies.
• 48:15
  Eric: Yeah, sugar cookies.
• 48:16
  Eric: Sugar.
• 48:17
  Eric: You've got chocolate flavored cookies.
• 48:19
  Eric: Mm-hmm.
• 48:20
  Eric: You take the chocolate chips out of a chocolate chip cookie.
• 48:24
  Eric: What flavor is it?
• 48:26
  Eric: Is it just like a brown sugar cookie?
• 48:28
  Matt: I guess yeah.
• 48:29
  Matt: Yeah, essentially, it's like a brown sugar dough, basically.
• 48:33
  Eric: Yeah.
• 48:34
  Matt: Batter, really, not so much as a few.
• 48:36
  Eric: Now I'll ask you, Matt.
• 48:37
  Matt: Yeah.
• 48:38
  Matt: Your chip game.
• 48:40
  Matt: Oh, I only have I there's only one brand.
• 48:42
  Matt: Nestle Semi-Suites.
• 48:44
  Matt: Nestle Semi-Sweets, exactly.
• 48:45
  Matt: Nestle Tollhouse semi-sweets.
• 48:47
  Eric: Yep.
• 48:47
  Matt: They're the only brand that goes into my cookies.
• 48:49
  Matt: Furthermore, I also have a preferred flower, and that is Pillsbury.
• 48:54
  Eric: Mmm.
• 48:56
  Eric: Gold medal over here.
• 48:57
  Matt: Mm-hmm.
• 48:58
  Matt: Mm-hmm.
• 48:58
  Eric: Now I will say I love me the consistency of the of the chocolate and like the semi-sweet morsels, like they are just that's nostalgic.
• 49:08
  Eric: Chef's kiss.
• 49:09
  Eric: I do love me some big old chocolate chunks.
• 49:13
  Matt: Yeah, but that's a chocolate chunk cookie.
• 49:17
  Eric: Oh.
• 49:19
  Eric: Wait, okay.
• 49:21
  Eric: I just want to be clear.
• 49:22
  Eric: The the the the pieces of chocolate that have literally been chipped off of a bigger piece of chocolate is not.
• 49:35
  Matt: Okay.
• 49:36
  Matt: Yeah.
• 49:37
  Matt: You have a point there, I guess.
• 49:40
  Eric: No, but I love them both.
• 49:41
  Eric: I don't I don't prefer one over the other.
• 49:44
  Eric: I do get excited about the chocolate chunks, though.
• 49:47
  Eric: I also I love me a big ass chocolate chip cookie.
• 49:49
  Eric: I like a big ass chocolate chip cookie, or I like the little little little tiny ones.
• 49:54
  Matt: So Lindsay is asserting here, though, that they're that that this is the answer.
• 50:01
  Matt: So do we agree?
• 50:02
  Matt: Is there a cookie that can challenge it?
• 50:06
  Eric: So no, I do not believe that.
• 50:08
  Matt: And because she gave us chocolate chip as the answer, I have to assume the only other things that we can consider are sort of your basic cookies.
• 50:17
  Eric: Variations, man, because that's the wild thing about chocolate chip cookies.
• 50:21
  Eric: There are an obscene number of variations.
• 50:24
  Matt: Oh, yeah, no, but what I mean is like your your sugar cookies, your white macadamia nut cookies.
• 50:32
  Matt: But there's so many cookies in the world, is what I'm saying.
• 50:36
  Eric: Yeah.
• 50:37
  Matt: I think we can only consider sort of the the basic level cookie.
• 50:44
  Matt: Your sugars, your chocolate chips, your snickerdoodles.
• 50:48
  Eric: And I do want to say, um, and you know, I'll I'll I'll end I'll issue a retraction or something later if I have to.
• 50:56
  Matt: Uh and you'll have to.
• 50:57
  Eric: Fuck oatmeal raisin cookies.
• 51:01
  Eric: Fuck oatmeal raisin cookies.
• 51:03
  Eric: Okay.
• 51:04
  Eric: One more time for the people in the back.
• 51:06
  Eric: Fuck oatmeal raisin cookies.
• 51:12
  Matt: Yeah, I'm not sure I completely agree.
• 51:15
  Matt: There are tons of terrible oatmeal raisin cookies.
• 51:20
  Eric: That has nothing to do with flavor.
• 51:22
  Matt: I agree.
• 51:22
  Matt: No, no, hold on.
• 51:23
  Matt: I agree that the mo if you're looking at a platter of cookies, I agree, and one of them is oatmeal raisin.
• 51:33
  Matt: I agree that oatmeal raisin has the highest probability of being unenjoyable.
• 51:40
  Matt: Yeah.
• 51:41
  Matt: But you can have a bitchin' oatmeal raisin cookie.
• 51:45
  Eric: I'm sure you can.
• 51:47
  Eric: My qualms with oatmeal raisin are ones of principle.
• 51:53
  Eric: Oh?
• 51:54
  Eric: In that I see a plate of cookies.
• 51:58
  Eric: Matt, I'm six foot six.
• 52:00
  Eric: Uh-huh.
• 52:01
  Eric: When I look down at a platter of cookies, I'm looking as an eagle.
• 52:06
  Eric: Yes, as a falcon soaring above the plains.
• 52:10
  Matt: Observing the prey.
• 52:12
  Eric: Yes.
• 52:13
  Eric: As my hand plunges towards the platter, and I'm like, oh, chocolate chip cookie, you are mine.
• 52:19
  Eric: And I bite into that shit and I get an explosion of oatmeal and raisin in my mouth.
• 52:25
  Eric: But it has happened.
• 52:27
  Eric: It's a bridge too far.
• 52:29
  Eric: It is happened too many times.
• 52:31
  Eric: I've been tricked by a goddamn oatmeal raisin cookie.
• 52:35
  Matt: You've been tricked by into you've been tricked into eating fool's chocolate.
• 52:41
  Matt: Yes! Yes.
• 52:43
  Matt: Yes.
• 52:44
  Matt: I do not like an oatmeal raisin cookie that looks looks to to any any mortal human as a chocolate chip cookie.
• 52:56
  Matt: Yeah.
• 52:56
  Matt: If you're gonna make an oatmeal raisin cookie, it needs to look like it.
• 53:00
  Matt: It's gotta have that chunky.
• 53:02
  Matt: Yes.
• 53:03
  Matt: Like it's gotta be obvious.
• 53:04
  Matt: Yeah, the the the skin needs to look like it's got a rash, right?
• 53:10
  Matt: Like that's the only way.
• 53:12
  Eric: It's got that mealy rash.
• 53:14
  Matt: The only appropriate way for an oatmeal reason to look.
• 53:17
  Matt: It's got a good skin rash.
• 53:19
  Matt: It's got eczema around the outside of it.
• 53:22
  Eric: Yeah.
• 53:23
  Matt: Not like the smooth, creamy look of a chocolate chip cookie interrupted only by a chocolate morsel.
• 53:35
  Eric: And I and I'll tell you, what drives me nuts is like if I ever get like a pre-packaged lunch or something, something comes with a cookie, and like I take it out of the box and it's wrapped in several layers of cellophane, but I can discern the brown skin, I can discern like you know, the golden brown skin.
• 53:52
  Eric: I can discern that there are chunks of something, but I have to like appraise it like a jewel to like make sure that it's and it's fucking chocolate chip and not oatmeal raisin.
• 54:01
  Eric: It's too much work.
• 54:03
  Eric: If I unwrap it, then I then I can't trade it.
• 54:05
  Matt: Yeah.
• 54:06
  Matt: And oh so that's the worst.
• 54:10
  Matt: We can agree that that's the worst.
• 54:12
  Eric: It's the worst.
• 54:13
  Matt: Is chocolate.
• 54:14
  Matt: I think chocolate chip cookie is the best.
• 54:17
  Matt: I will agree.
• 54:18
  Matt: I will agree with this.
• 54:19
  Matt: Uh what was with the name?
• 54:21
  Matt: Simply Lindsay, I believe.
• 54:22
  Matt: Yeah, I will agree.
• 54:24
  Matt: Yeah, good.
• 54:25
  Matt: I will agree with this um unknown stranger.
• 54:30
  Matt: Yeah.
• 54:31
  Matt: That damn it.
• 54:32
  Matt: It is the best because it is like the base, right?
• 54:36
  Matt: To your point, you can you can variant.
• 54:40
  Eric: Oh my god, you could put walnuts in there.
• 54:42
  Matt: Yeah, actually, that was the first change I made to my perfect chocolate chip cookie recipe.
• 54:48
  Matt: It had walnuts in there, and I said, get that shit out of my cookie.
• 54:52
  Eric: Oh my god, Matthew.
• 54:54
  Matt: I've tried it.
• 54:55
  Matt: I tried it once.
• 54:56
  Matt: It's inner the the walnuts.
• 54:59
  Matt: There's a place in this world for a chocolate chip cookie with walnuts.
• 55:03
  Eric: Yeah, I'm not saying every chocolate chip cookie has to have.
• 55:05
  Matt: But the but the walnut, it gets it, you can go wrong with it.
• 55:10
  Matt: You put too much in there, it interrupts the perfection that is that brown sugar dough exclamated with your bullet points of chocolate chips.
• 55:26
  Matt: I wish you could all see what I'm seeing.
• 55:30
  Matt: I am.
• 55:30
  Matt: I'm sort of casting them like Mickey, the sorcerer's apprentice.
• 55:35
  Matt: I'm sort of throwing.
• 55:37
  Eric: Instead of awakening brooms, he's just making it rain chocolate chips.
• 55:40
  Eric: Oh shit.
• 55:42
  Eric: You get a morsel, and you get a morsel.
• 55:45
  Eric: It introduces a level of very of a variable that can go so very wrong.
• 55:50
  Matt: Yes.
• 55:51
  Matt: But the base, just a base.
• 55:54
  Matt: The base, the base chocolate chip cookie is where kingdoms are built.
• 56:00
  Matt: It's the foundation.
• 56:02
  Eric: Yeah.
• 56:03
  Matt: For the city that will be your take on this cookie.
• 56:08
  Matt: And everybody loves them.
• 56:09
  Matt: Everybody loves them.
• 56:10
  Matt: Nobody, nobody meets a chocolate, because sugar cookies, you can meet a sugar cookie and be like, ooh, too sweet for me.
• 56:17
  Matt: Or a snickerdoodle, ah, cinnamon's not my thing.
• 56:20
  Matt: But a chocolate chip?
• 56:22
  Matt: Really?
• 56:23
  Matt: Really?
• 56:24
  Matt: Really?
• 56:24
  Matt: Really?
• 56:25
  Matt: Really.
• 56:26
  Matt: You're gonna come to me with a qualm of a chocolate chip cookie.
• 56:30
  Eric: Dear listeners, if you if anyone listening to this episode, apropos of any allergies.
• 56:40
  Eric: Yeah, like, unless you have unless you are allergic to chocolate and love.
• 56:46
  Matt: Yes, unless you're allergic to joy.
• 56:49
  Eric: If you don't like chocolate chip cookies, please get at us.
• 56:53
  Eric: We want to interview you on this show.
• 56:55
  Eric: We just want to ask you like we would love to have you.
• 56:58
  Eric: Yeah, we just want to find out like what went wrong.
• 57:02
  Eric: In your childhood.
• 57:04
  Matt: In your childhood.
• 57:06
  Matt: It like What abuse did you suffer to make you want to hurt yourself with this opinion?
• 57:12
  Eric: Yeah.
• 57:14
  Eric: We really want to explore, like, you're on your journey to becoming a super villain.
• 57:19
  Matt: Oh, yeah.
• 57:20
  Matt: I think you can rest assured that you were waking up in Sid's backyard.
• 57:25
  Matt: Oh my god.
• 57:26
  Matt: They were Sid.
• 57:27
  Eric: They are Sid.
• 57:28
  Eric: They are Sid.
• 57:29
  Eric: Bet you Sid doesn't like chocolate chip cookies.
• 57:31
  Eric: Ah, fucking Sid.
• 57:33
  Eric: Fucking Sid.
• 57:34
  Eric: Those toys were gonna murder him.
• 57:36
  Eric: They left Sid at the mercy of those toys.
• 57:38
  Matt: And well, they should.
• 57:40
  Matt: Because he didn't like chocolate chip cookies.
• 57:42
  Eric: Didn't like chocolate chip cookies.
• 57:43
  Matt: Well, Eric, what do you think?
• 57:44
  Matt: I think we've answered it.
• 57:46
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 57:47
  Matt: It is the foundation of all other cookies.
• 57:49
  Matt: That's why it's the best.
• 57:51
  Eric: So, yeah.
• 57:52
  Eric: So I just want to appre I just want to point out that we we have apologized to all of our baking enthusiasts by making a broad, sweeping, objective statement that is correct.
• 58:05
  Eric: Um, we will not be issuing any further baking apologies.
• 58:08
  Eric: Or any other apologies.
• 58:10
  Eric: Any other apologies.
• 58:12
  Eric: Not apologies, acknowledgements.
• 58:14
  Eric: Acknowledgements.
• 58:14
  Eric: That's right.
• 58:15
  Eric: Yeah, we have to be brave.
• 58:17
  Eric: It's 2021.
• 58:18
  Eric: New year, new me.
• 58:20
  Matt: We yeah, new year, new you, but same us.
• 58:24
  Matt: We're still correct.
• 58:25
  Eric: We're yeah, we are not nothing.
• 58:27
  Matt: We are still infallible, and I think you know that by now.
• 58:31
  Matt: Oh yeah.
• 58:33
  Matt: So, Eric, you want to move on to some local legends?
• 58:36
  Eric: Oh, let's talk about some local legends.
• 58:38
  Eric: I'm excited for this.
• 58:38
  Matt: I think you need to go uh first.
• 58:41
  Eric: I'll happily go first.
• 58:43
  Eric: So, Matt.
• 58:44
  Eric: Talk to me.
• 58:45
  Eric: Today, my my local legend today comes from uh Japan.
• 58:51
  Eric: Oh.
• 58:52
  Eric: Yes.
• 58:53
  Eric: This is a uh so Japan.
• 58:56
  Matt: Was this sent in or did you find it?
• 58:58
  Eric: Oh, I found this.
• 58:59
  Matt: Yeah, I also had had to find mine.
• 59:02
  Eric: So so in Japan, there's like a classification of demons or supernatural monsters called yokai.
• 59:12
  Eric: That is a classification.
• 59:14
  Eric: And then there's a there is a type of yokai, which is my favorite uh Japanese demon.
• 59:23
  Eric: That it's like it's it's it's been steeped in folklore for centuries.
• 59:29
  Matt: Okay.
• 59:29
  Eric: Um I want to talk to you about uh Shirime.
• 59:34
  Eric: Oh the legend of the buttock's eye.
• 59:37
  Eric: What?
• 59:38
  Eric: Alright.
• 59:39
  Eric: So its name I believe literally means butt eye.
• 59:44
  Eric: And uh there's nothing really known much of like the origin of the story, but the uh the like the earliest stories of the Shirime uh that tells of a samurai walking down a dark and dingy road in Kyoto.
• 1:00:01
  Eric: Okay.
• 1:00:01
  Eric: Feeling slightly intoxicated and merry from an evening of drinking, he heard the muffled sounds of someone coming up behind him.
• 1:00:11
  Eric: Before he could act, an elderly voice said, Stop! Wait, I need to ask you something.
• 1:00:20
  Eric: Interested and in high spirits, the samurai did as he was told, stopping to turn around.
• 1:00:27
  Eric: The shock of what he saw sobered him up in a cold flash of reality.
• 1:00:34
  Eric: A short, faceless man was staggering towards him, hurriedly stripping his clothes off to his bare skin.
• 1:00:43
  Eric: Shocked by what he was witnessing, the samurai placed his hand onto the hilt of his sword before being able to draw it.
• 1:00:52
  Eric: The man spun around, dropped to all fours, stuck up his ass proudly into the air, much like a household cat would do to its owner, and then spread his cheeks, and then the samurai could see one large bulging eye peering up at him from between the two aged buttocks.
• 1:01:19
  Eric: Oh, okay.
• 1:01:20
  Eric: Exactly where the anus would be.
• 1:01:22
  Eric: Oh no.
• 1:01:22
  Eric: As if mocking him.
• 1:01:24
  Eric: Angered by this act of complete disrespect, the samurai drew his sword and lunged for him and like stabbed at him, but like the guy was gone.
• 1:01:35
  Eric: Like just gone in a flash.
• 1:01:36
  Eric: Like some people talk about how the eye like is like shines light like lightning, and then like he just he's gone.
• 1:01:44
  Matt: Yeah.
• 1:01:44
  Eric: And then that's that's it.
• 1:01:45
  Eric: That's the that's the eye butt demon.
• 1:01:47
  Eric: And their entire thing is they're harmless, they don't hurt anyone, they just they like they just show up behind you and they're like, oh, excuse me.
• 1:01:54
  Eric: And they turn around, strip down, show you the eye, the eyeball in their butt, and then they're gone.
• 1:02:00
  Matt: So what are they trying to get out of their victims?
• 1:02:05
  Eric: Uh they uh from everything I've read, it it like they do it for kicks.
• 1:02:12
  Matt: Okay, so they're they're just pranksters.
• 1:02:14
  Matt: They're essentially uh they're like they're like um flashers.
• 1:02:19
  Eric: Yeah, they're like they're they're like the patron demons of of flashers.
• 1:02:25
  Matt: Wow.
• 1:02:27
  Matt: Interesting.
• 1:02:28
  Eric: I actually have a kick at I have a patch of one that I'm gonna put on my punk vest.
• 1:02:32
  Matt: Oh my god.
• 1:02:33
  Matt: Well, first of all, can you send an image of that?
• 1:02:36
  Matt: We can we can put that up in our Instagram.
• 1:02:39
  Eric: Oh yeah, let me let me let me find a good one.
• 1:02:44
  Eric: Um but yes, that is the Shirame, the butt-eye demon.
• 1:02:48
  Matt: Okay.
• 1:02:49
  Matt: Well, thank that's great.
• 1:02:51
  Matt: Yeah, and I appreciate it learning about uh such a local legend from so far afield from where we are.
• 1:03:00
  Matt: And that's exactly what we're looking for, dear listener.
• 1:03:03
  Matt: You should send that in to us.
• 1:03:04
  Matt: Our field, by the way, we are both in uh Maryland, and I wanted to look up uh some more information about a local legend that I learned about whilst uh visiting my whilst visiting my in-laws in southern Maryland.
• 1:03:23
  Matt: So I want to talk about the legend of Mole Dyer.
• 1:03:29
  Matt: Mole Dyer, M-O-L-L.
• 1:03:33
  Matt: Dyer.
• 1:03:34
  Matt: According to legend, in the late 1600s, Mole Dyer was a destitute woman living near Leonardtown, Maryland, who is known to beg for charity from nearby residents.
• 1:03:48
  Matt: Mostly uh she kept to herself in uh in a little shack in the woods.
• 1:03:53
  Matt: Okay.
• 1:03:54
  Matt: But to the townsfolk, she was known more simply as the uh witch in the woods.
• 1:04:02
  Matt: Now, early 1600s, Eric.
• 1:04:05
  Matt: Witch in the woods, it's not a good uh label.
• 1:04:09
  Matt: It's not a good look.
• 1:04:10
  Matt: Following a blizzard that froze their cattle and their sheep, the townsfolk determined that something needed to be done about Moltire.
• 1:04:20
  Matt: They formed a mob surrounding her shack and they set it ablaze with poor Moltire inside, and she goes fleeing out of her shack and into the freezing woods.
• 1:04:32
  Matt: Several days later, a boy discovered her body frozen to a rock.
• 1:04:41
  Eric: Frozen to a rock!
• 1:04:43
  Matt: With, and I'm quoting here from an article from the Bay Net, with one arm stretched to the heavens as if to curse her tormentors.
• 1:04:55
  Matt: Now, this rock was found near a ravine by what is now called Muldyre Road.
• 1:05:03
  Matt: But this rock has since been moved in front of the uh what's known as the 1876 courthouse in 1972.
• 1:05:13
  Matt: It is still there to this day.
• 1:05:15
  Matt: You can go see the imprints of Muldyr's hands and knees.
• 1:05:21
  Matt: Well, I suppose hand and knee in the rock.
• 1:05:26
  Matt: Now following her death, nearby families have r started reporting that the the area around where her shack was, where the where the rock was found, has been uncharacteristically barren for years after the incident.
• 1:05:47
  Matt: And soon there were frequent sightings of her ghost searching the land for the men who came for her and are responsible for her death.
• 1:05:57
  Eric: Get him, Queen!
• 1:05:58
  Matt: But she only shows up on the The coldest, most frigid nights of the year.
• 1:06:04
  Matt: And today a white dog is sometimes spotted roaming Muldyre Road and has been known to cause accidents.
• 1:06:16
  Eric: Oh my god.
• 1:06:17
  Matt: Many believe that this is another manifestation of Muldyre.
• 1:06:22
  Matt: Now, of course, Eric, we all know now that Muldyer was no witch.
• 1:06:28
  Matt: There was no such no such element to this.
• 1:06:30
  Eric: Yeah, it turns out it's a bunch of dudes being assholes.
• 1:06:33
  Matt: Turns out men are awful.
• 1:06:36
  Eric: We are guards.
• 1:06:36
  Matt: And always have been.
• 1:06:38
  Matt: And most likely always will be.
• 1:06:40
  Matt: She caused no harm to Leonardtown in the seventeenth century.
• 1:06:45
  Matt: But perhaps now, because of those townsfolk's ignorance and prejudice, she has been turned into a vengeful spirit that tortures the area to this day.
• 1:07:03
  Matt: Damn, girl! Damn! Get him, Mole! Here's how I came to know Muldyre.
• 1:07:08
  Matt: There is an escape room in Leonardtown, Maryland that is based upon Muldyre's story.
• 1:07:16
  Matt: Oh.
• 1:07:17
  Matt: If you do not want the escape room ruined for you, I suggest you stop listening right now and just hit that skip 15 seconds a couple of times.
• 1:07:30
  Matt: But Eric, I'm not giving you a choice.
• 1:07:32
  Eric: Damn it.
• 1:07:32
  Matt: Alright.
• 1:07:34
  Matt: You have to determine definitively in this escape room.
• 1:07:39
  Matt: Not only do you have to escape before the mob shows up, you also need to determine if she is a wheat witch.
• 1:07:48
  Eric: Oh shit.
• 1:07:49
  Matt: And the way you do that, I think, will sound familiar.
• 1:07:55
  Matt: You have to first uncover something that can be weighed.
• 1:08:01
  Eric: And that something is a duck.
• 1:08:05
  Eric: Say it.
• 1:08:06
  Eric: Is it a duck?
• 1:08:07
  Matt: It's a duck.
• 1:08:08
  Eric: Yeah.
• 1:08:09
  Matt: You have to uncover this lawn ornament duck that you then put on a scale, and it doesn't it doesn't weigh the same, and then there's this evil cackle, and then you can get out of the room.
• 1:08:24
  Eric: You know, I remember back in the day when there was a vengeful spirit, you'd have to call in exorcists, get like get them to perform a fucking sending ritual to like put the spirit to rest.
• 1:08:39
  Eric: Now, you want to exercise a demon, you just turn it into a to a fucking escape room with a Monty Python.
• 1:08:45
  Eric: You just turned to Monty Python.
• 1:08:48
  Matt: Jesus Christ.
• 1:08:49
  Matt: God bless them.
• 1:08:50
  Matt: And uh my as always, my uh source primary sources for this was the BayNet, as I mentioned earlier, which uh I should not.
• 1:09:02
  Matt: Not a dating set, uh, and also, of course, the one, the only Wikipedia.
• 1:09:10
  Matt: And that is the legend of Mul Dyer.
• 1:09:13
  Matt: Eric, reactions.
• 1:09:17
  Eric: I have two reactions.
• 1:09:19
  Matt: Hit me.
• 1:09:20
  Eric: Yes, Queen.
• 1:09:23
  Matt: Well said, Eric.
• 1:09:25
  Eric: No, fucking, yeah.
• 1:09:27
  Eric: I I love everything about this story.
• 1:09:29
  Eric: It reads like like fucking stoner metal lore.
• 1:09:33
  Eric: Like just this this girl who was almost burned for being a witch died on a rock, like with her hand outstretched like Beethoven.
• 1:09:42
  Eric: Yeah, I could hear the the drone of the bass as the lead singer sings about this.
• 1:09:47
  Eric: It's it's what I like about it.
• 1:09:49
  Eric: I want a t-shirt with mold wine.
• 1:09:51
  Matt: What I like about it is that the people that that they did this to themselves, you know.
• 1:09:56
  Matt: Oh yeah.
• 1:09:57
  Matt: This was just a weird lady in the woods.
• 1:09:59
  Eric: And like 10 bucks, she was like helping these people all the time.
• 1:10:04
  Eric: Like she was probably like the local village, you know.
• 1:10:08
  Matt: She probably wasn't even weird.
• 1:10:10
  Matt: She was probably just poor.
• 1:10:12
  Matt: Probably was poor and just wanted to be left the fuck alone.
• 1:10:16
  Matt: And they thought that was weird, so they burned her, and now she's a vengeful spirit haunting Southern Maryland.
• 1:10:23
  Matt: She doesn't want to hang out with us, burn her to death! Oh, she'll hang out with you all right for eternity.
• 1:10:29
  Matt: Wouldstou live deliciously?
• 1:10:31
  Matt: Okay, so if you have a local legend that you want us to talk about, the weirder the better, send that over to you didn't ask for this at gmail.com.
• 1:10:44
  Eric: And I would ask if you know someone or you are someone who has seen Moldir.
• 1:10:50
  Eric: Oh yeah.
• 1:10:51
  Eric: Or a Shirame, the Butteye demon.
• 1:10:54
  Matt: Yes, if you've met the butt eye.
• 1:10:56
  Eric: I have some questions.
• 1:10:58
  Matt: I do have some questions.
• 1:11:00
  Matt: If you have met have uh also, side note, have you met a ghost?
• 1:11:06
  Eric: I have I have met presences.
• 1:11:12
  Eric: I've met like feeling I've never seen a ghost.
• 1:11:17
  Matt: I have seen a ghost.
• 1:11:19
  Eric: Oh my god.
• 1:11:20
  Matt: And I previously was a person who'd be like, sure you did.
• 1:11:24
  Eric: But we'll save that story for Yeah, I was gonna say I'm like, I want an episode for that.
• 1:11:28
  Matt: Yeah, we'll we can dedicate an episode for that.
• 1:11:31
  Matt: In the meantime, send us your questions.
• 1:11:33
  Matt: Oh yeah.
• 1:11:34
  Matt: We want to know what you want to know.
• 1:11:37
  Matt: Yeah.
• 1:11:38
  Matt: Send them to you didn't ask for this at gmail.com or you didn't ask pod on Twitter or Instagram.
• 1:11:45
  Matt: That's the letter you didn't ask pod on Twitter or Instagram.
• 1:11:50
  Matt: Send and it could be about whatever.
• 1:11:52
  Matt: Oh yeah.
• 1:11:53
  Eric: It like if you think it yeah, whatever troubles you, whatever you think needs to be discussed.
• 1:11:59
  Eric: What the people need to know.
• 1:12:02
  Eric: But didn't ask for.
• 1:12:03
  Matt: That's what that's the whole podcast right there.
• 1:12:06
  Matt: That's our jam.
• 1:12:08
  Matt: Uh in the meantime, I'm Matt Shay.
• 1:12:11
  Matt: I'm Eric Poach.
• 1:12:13
  Matt: And we still don't have a tagline.
• 1:12:14
  Matt: We need to come up with a fucking show, man.
• 1:12:19
  Matt: Send us your taglines.
• 1:12:20
  Matt: Let's try something new.
• 1:12:21
  Matt: Let's just first thing that comes to mind.
• 1:12:23
  Matt: Eric.
• 1:12:23
  Matt: Okay.
• 1:12:24
  Matt: Uh I'm Matt Shay.
• 1:12:25
  Matt: I'm Eric Poach.
• 1:12:27
  Matt: And um.
• 1:12:29
  Matt: Yeah.
• 1:12:30
  Matt: This has you've now you have asked.
• 1:12:35
  Matt: Knowledge is power.
• 1:12:37
  Eric: Wisdom is is knowledge.
• 1:12:45
  Matt: Knowledge is power.
• 1:12:48
  Matt: Wisdom is knowledge and don't burn people.
• 1:12:55
  Matt: None of those are good.
• 1:12:57
  Eric: Oh, but I love them.
• 1:13:00
  Matt: Okay, we'll work on that.
• 1:13:02
  Matt: We'll see you all next time.
• 1:13:03
  Matt: Bye, babies.
• 1:13:04
  Matt: Bye-bye.
• 1:13:06
  Eric: Oh.
• 1:13:08
  Eric: That's the power of yes, and oh yeah, that was it.