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Three The Hard Way with Shon Cole · We Talk Back

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Talk to them.
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: talk back.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: What's up, y'all?
• 0:12
  Speaker 3: Thank you for tuning in for our new episode of
• 0:14
  Speaker 3: We Talk Back, a show dedicated.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: To you niggas and these hoes. I'm going back to it.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: Fuck it.
• 0:19
  Speaker 3: It sounds better. Dreamers and chasers, all that shit. It's
• 0:22
  Speaker 3: your girl AJ Holiday.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: What's up, Tam?
• 0:25
  Speaker 3: Hey, y'all.
• 0:25
  Speaker 4: It's me, Tam Bam. I love y'all. I do. Once again.
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: I'm reading this book called The Up. I'm reading this
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: book called The Carpentry, and it was just talking about
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: doing everything with love.
• 0:39
  Speaker 4: I was like, oh, this is already how I live
• 0:41
  Speaker 4: my life. So, I just feel so much in alignment
• 0:45
  Speaker 4: right now. I just want to share that with you guys.
• 0:48
  Speaker 4: How was your weekend?
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: It was all right, girl. I didn't do much. Like, literally,
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: in the house, I did work out four times this weekend, okay?
• 0:56
  Speaker 4: That's good. Look.
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: First of all, these backs ain't that big, but they're
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: going to be real slim.
• 1:02
  Speaker 4: Period.
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: Very soon, y'all.
• 1:05
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: We talking fat no more.
• 1:07
  Speaker 4: Right. We've been real serious about our fitness. So, yeah.
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: I went to spin class over the weekend. I've been
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: going spin crazy. So, I went on Saturday, and it
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: was their seven-year anniversary, and they had a raffle today.
• 1:23
  Speaker 4: And I won. I won two free tickets.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: What'd you win?
• 1:25
  Speaker 4: I won two free tickets to the Hornets game. I
• 1:27
  Speaker 4: don't know. I got to pick it up when I
• 1:29
  Speaker 4: go tonight to spin. I know. That was cool.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: Nah, man. You need a free year.
• 1:34
  Speaker 4: No, that wasn't.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: Shit, I know.
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: Spin is expensive. That wasn't an option. And then yesterday
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: was my mother's birthday, so I went to Columbia.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: Oh, Sarah. Big Sarah.
• 1:46
  Speaker 4: She turned 37, she said.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah so I made her a blueberry a lemon blueberry
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: dump cake it was so good I.
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: Only had a little that sound good I love dump
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: cake she.
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: Was like take some home but I did not take
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: any home I'm so proud of myself I just left
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: it there for.
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: Them to eat bitch I would have been warming that
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: shit up in the oven with some vanilla ice cream
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: every day until it was gone it.
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: Was so good I couldn't do it it was too
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: good I knew it was going to big my back again.
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: I'm so fat when it comes to sweets, man. I
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: swear to God, like, I got to keep eating until
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: it's all gone.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: I love it, too.
• 2:26
  Speaker 4: That's why I didn't bring any back because I knew
• 2:28
  Speaker 4: what time it was.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: It was just too good. That sounds good, though.
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 2:32
  Speaker 4: So let's get into our stupid internet news.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: What happened?
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: Boosie asked, Boosie ain't fucking with the Waffle House no more, y'all.
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: Boosie is mad because this nigga took a raw potato
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: to Waffle House and tried to force the cook.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: To make him some breakfast potatoes.
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: Now, anybody who can actually cook, that shit is not
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: like frozen hash browns.
• 2:53
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: All right?
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: You damn near got the bowl of potato first and
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: all that shit. And because he tips $ 100 when he
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: goes out to eat, he just thinks he can just
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: pull up with groceries at any fucking nearest restaurant and
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: get what he want.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: When I tell y'all, Boosie be tripping. He do be tripping.
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: Like, you just can't pull up with a bag of
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: raw potatoes. I'm going to cook these.
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: Like, where do you think you at? Were they even
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: red potatoes?
• 3:16
  Speaker 4: Like, nigga, if you took a Russell baked potato out there.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: Who knows what he did? That nigga is nuts.
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: Now he eating that hot for a little while because
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: he mad at them.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: Boosie get on my damn nerves.
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: Y'all listen, I watched Boosie Brothers interview. I forgot the
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: show this past weekend, but that nigga might be a villain.
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: Boosie might be a villain, dog. Because, you know, he's
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: beefing with Young Blue right now, too. And I think
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: he's just salty about that man's career, as far as
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: I'm concerned. He already down this week because your wife
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: caught your ass cheating.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: And now Boosie on your neck about some money you
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: don't owe him. It's really weird.
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: It's giving broke, Boosie. It's giving broke. It's giving financial issues, Boosie.
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: PPP coming back around again. They about to lock us down.
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: Just wait.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: Lock us back down, Joe.
• 4:04
  Speaker 4: I want to be locked back down.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: No, I don't. I do not, girl.
• 4:08
  Speaker 4: I don't want to have to go to work.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: I hope people do not comply.
• 4:11
  Speaker 4: Send me some free money and don't send me to work.
• 4:14
  Speaker 4: I'll be okay. Cocoa Golf won the U.S. Open over
• 4:19
  Speaker 4: the weekend.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: Ew, black girl magic.
• 4:22
  Speaker 4: Yes, I'm so proud of her.
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: Did y'all see that video from 2012 where she was
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: dancing in the stands of the U.S.
• 4:28
  Speaker 4: Open?
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: Yes, as a little girl.
• 4:30
  Speaker 4: It was a full circle moment for her. That's so amazing.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: I cried a little bit when I watched that video,
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: you know.
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: A lot of people said they cried. I did not
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: cry for that, but I was very excited for her.
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I cried, man, because You know, that's a big-ass accomplishment.
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: Imagine growing up in tennis in that way. You know,
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: obviously her parents had her there at the games.
• 4:51
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: She's dancing, and now you actually win it. It got
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: a $ 3.
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: Million check on top of all kind of endorsements that
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: are about to come your way.
• 4:59
  Speaker 4: Yes, girl.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: I love it.
• 5:00
  Speaker 4: I'm so proud of you, man. Yes, I love it.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 5:04
  Speaker 4: But I don't know nothing about tennis. I ain't been
• 5:07
  Speaker 4: to a U.S. nothing.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: I used to play tennis when I was younger. I
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: liked it, man. I'm just all that fucking running, dog.
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: I used to play in my apartment complex, you know,
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: just because we had, you know, some balls and one
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: of my friends had tennis rackets, but it was never
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: like no.
• 5:22
  Speaker 4: Proper training or nothing like that. It was hot out there.
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: My oldest sister actually played tennis, like tournaments and shit
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: like that.
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: She would play.
• 5:32
  Speaker 4: Oh, that's dope. She quit it, though.
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we all fat. All of us. Oh my God,
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: some fat ass fucking churn, bitch.
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: Meanwhile, she was walking around here with a 32 inch
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: waist and her fucking kid's fat.
• 5:47
  Speaker 4: You're not fat. I don't think you're fat.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: Not now.
• 5:50
  Speaker 4: I would never.
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: But bitch, short Ashley, when I was a little kid,
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: I was definitely chunky, always.
• 5:55
  Speaker 4: Like if I was describing you, I would never.
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: But no, I look back at pictures now, I was
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: a fat.
• 6:00
  Speaker 4: I wouldn't describe you as, you know, Ashley, fat Ashley.
• 6:02
  Speaker 4: I wouldn't be like that, you know?
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: No, nobody would either. Okay.
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: When you look back at pictures and you thought you
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: were fat, then it's like, damn, I wish I can
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: get back there now.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: To my old fat weight.
• 6:13
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: Right. Can I get my old fat weight back?
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: That's why I'm never going to, I'm going to try
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: my best to never beat up my body anymore. Cause
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: I know I'm going to look back at my body
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: and wish.
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: I had that body.
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: So I'm just actively trying to just appreciate every moment
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: in the now.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: Yes. Enjoy everybody, child. Everybody. Appreciate it.
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: So Gunna had his first show since being released from
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: jail at Barclays over the weekend.
• 6:38
  Speaker 4: And it was a sold-out show. It was a packed house.
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: And people were saying that they were surprised at how
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: packed the show was because of that snitch label that
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: people were trying to put on him. Allegedly that he's
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: a snitch. I mean, we did see him in the
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: courtroom saying yes ma'am to a lot of things that
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: Some people would say it's snitching.
• 7:00
  Speaker 4: What do you think? Snitches get riches?
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: He took a plea. Shut up. He took a plea deal, okay?
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: He didn't snitch on anybody.
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: If anything, there's a lot of other people that we
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: have seen in court, okay.
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: Involved with YSL that were actual snitches.
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: I don't think he should have been involved in that
• 7:18
  Speaker 3: case in the first place at all.
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: And sorry, nigga, I'm trying to come home is what
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: snitch stands for.
• 7:24
  Speaker 4: That's why I don't come in.
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: Majority of people in jail. yeah like I don't like
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: the I don't like um the civilians you know calling
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: people who have these type of lifestyles snitches like why
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: y'all eating you don't know what you would do I
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: know exactly what I would do snitch snitch that's why
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: I don't that's why I don't participate in any criminal
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: activity because I if it's your life or mine it's
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: gonna be mine I'm not gonna like I don't live
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: by that code that's why I don't uh commit crimes
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: so don't ask me to do shit especially if I
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: wasn't actively doing some stuff and the thing is what
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: black people need to realize is that we are not
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: the main ones that buy these people music okay they
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: have white people who support their music I'm pretty sure
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: the Barclays was filled with a bunch of white kids
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: right nigga he's still gonna be okay yeah he don't
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: just need the black community.
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: That's what I'm about to say the people who probably
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: really in the streets and really live by that code
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: wasn't coming to your concert anyway you know Yeah.
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: So, I mean, get the check, man. Listen, ain't no,
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: there's no rules in the streets no more. There's no
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: loyalty in the streets no more. There's no integrity. Nigga,
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: do what's best for you and your family. Because everybody
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: is on that type of time. It's a lot of
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: people out here who know they homeboy snitch and they
• 8:38
  Speaker 3: still hanging out with this nigga.
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: Next.
• 8:42
  Speaker 4: There's a lot of that moving around in Charlotte. I
• 8:44
  Speaker 4: ain't gonna say no.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: Names, but.
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: Girl, I live in Charleston.
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: There's so many indictments day in and day out. And
• 8:50
  Speaker 3: these niggas be right outside like ain't nothing happened. And
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: the same niggas be who was talking shit about them,
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: hanging with them today. Because they all do it. They
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: all do it when they get into them rooms, them
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: small ass rooms.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: Where it's freezing cold.
• 9:02
  Speaker 4: And the nigga be having his arms in his shirt.
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: With a cigarette. He have his arms in his shirt.
• 9:06
  Speaker 4: He about to tell.
• 9:10
  Speaker 3: When that nigga ask for a cigarette, boy, you know
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: his old boy. He about to tell on the whole hood.
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: Let me be very clear.
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: Telling them cracker shit they ain't even ask. You know,
• 9:21
  Speaker 3: for me, snitching is this, right? Say, for instance, I
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: commit a crime. I know I did it. You know
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: I did it, right? Say, for instance, I do a
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: murder in your car. You get arrested with my car.
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: Hold on.
• 9:33
  Speaker 4: No, I get arrested in my car because you did
• 9:36
  Speaker 4: a murder in my car.
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: No, no, no. I let you hold... Yeah, yeah, that's
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: what I meant. Right, yes. You let me hold your car.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: I commit a murder in your car.
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: You get stopped in your car and now they're catching you,
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: getting you for the murder.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: I feel like I'm a bitch ass nigga.
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: If I don't come up there and admit that I
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: did it instead of letting my friends sit for some
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: shit that I actually did.
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: You are not a snitch.
• 9:57
  Speaker 4: That's not snitching though.
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: That, not the streets will consider that snitching no snitching
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: is when.
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: Y'all commit crimes together and I get caught but I
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: tell on everybody else to lower lessen my sentence or
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: to get out of jail that's what snitching is.
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: The streets considered anytime you're cooperating with the police, they
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: consider that snitching.
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: No matter the situation.
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: I don't think they consider that.
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: Yes, they do, girl.
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: If you're a citizen, a civilian, and you just... I
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: can give you a perfect example. This is not even
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: snitching for real. Remember Future and what's his manager? The
• 10:33
  Speaker 3: one who was married to Monica? Y'all know who I'm
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: talking about. Monica Baby Daddy. He brought Future.
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: On the scene.
• 10:44
  Speaker 4: Rocko.
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: Future made a song about Rocco. Future tweeted about Rocco
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: calling Rocco a snitch because this nigga wanted his money
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: out of him after he blew up. We had a
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: contract together. How is that snitching?
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: Because I signed paperwork in court. That's what I'm saying.
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: The streets, they just don't want you cooperating with authorities
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: or the courts with anything. They consider everything snitching if
• 11:09
  Speaker 3: you cooperate.
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: For real.
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: Really?
• 11:11
  Speaker 4: I don't know if that's true.
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: So if somebody kill your family member and you go
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: to the court and tell, go to the police, that's snitching?
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: The other family who, like the family of the person
• 11:24
  Speaker 3: that did it, they're going to say you snitching on them.
• 11:26
  Speaker 4: No, I don't think people think that's snitching.
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: Y'all let us know. Y'all let us know. I think
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: it's about niggas who's in.
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: The streets doing street shit and then cooperating with the police.
• 11:36
  Speaker 4: Not regular civilians.
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: There's levels to this snitching shit.
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: And I feel like people, black people specifically, consider every
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: goddamn thing snitching.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: No, I can't believe that.
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: It be a lot of situations. It's not even snitching.
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: I'm not saying that's what it is, Tammy. I am
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: saying this is what people really think in the streets.
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying.
• 11:55
  Speaker 4: I don't believe that people think that.
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: No, absolutely not. Yeah, absolutely not.
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: But the example I gave, like you driving my car,
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: it's like, I mean, me driving your car, I'm saying
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: somebody would, I'm only considering it snitching if you telling
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: on some shit that don't have nothing to do with
• 12:10
  Speaker 3: your case.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: Do you see what I'm saying? That's snitching to me.
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: If you're just telling the police some shit to get
• 12:14
  Speaker 3: a lesser charge, You just telling on random niggas in
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: the hood. They putting whoever picture in front of you.
• 12:20
  Speaker 3: And you say, yeah, that nigga did such and such
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: and such. That is snitching to me. Anything else is
• 12:24
  Speaker 3: not snitching.
• 12:25
  Speaker 4: Yeah, to me.
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: If you committing a crime and you get caught, you
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: got caught.
• 12:30
  Speaker 4: You got caught. Leave everybody else out of it. That's
• 12:32
  Speaker 4: how I feel like. Right.
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: But if you just a civilian and you in some bullshit,
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: you have every right to defend yourself.
• 12:41
  Speaker 4: The fuck?
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: Absolutely. Yeah. We don't be doing crimes.
• 12:44
  Speaker 4: Mm-mm. I don't do shit wrong.
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: Look, I might speed a little bit every now and then,
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: but that's the gist of it.
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: Girl, I got a ticket earlier this year, man. And
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: I hired a lawyer. One thing I can't, like, why
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: do I get punished 30 times? Because your insurance go
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: up and everything else. I think it's not fair. It's
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: not fucking fair.
• 13:07
  Speaker 4: No.
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: So Tyrese is on The Breakfast Club. I know y'all
• 13:11
  Speaker 3: seen that shit. Tyrese is on The Breakfast Club. He
• 13:14
  Speaker 3: was talking about his grievances.
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: They all were, right?
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: Charlamagne, DJ Envy. They were talking about their grievances with him.
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: He was talking about his grievances with them. Like, you know,
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: he basically wanted support from his bros when he was
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: going through the things.
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: With his ex-wife. That divorce really hurt that nigga. That's
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: what I'm seeing.
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: But he leaves The Breakfast Club. They all apologize to
• 13:34
  Speaker 3: each other. He apologized to them. They apologized to him.
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: You know, we thought the interview, I thought the interview
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: was pretty amicable.
• 13:42
  Speaker 5: So whatever feelings you have about me and what I
• 13:46
  Speaker 5: should be or shouldn't be doing pertaining to my approach
• 13:50
  Speaker 5: with how I'm unraveling and bleeding out loud in the
• 13:54
  Speaker 5: middle of my thing, that would have actually been the
• 13:57
  Speaker 5: reason to call.
• 13:58
  Speaker 4: No.
• 13:59
  Speaker 6: And I did have conversations with you. And this is
• 14:01
  Speaker 6: from before your ex-wife when you were talking to the
• 14:03
  Speaker 6: girl overseas and who you were as a man. I
• 14:07
  Speaker 6: didn't respect that. I took a step back because I
• 14:11
  Speaker 6: didn't know what you were going through. And I tried
• 14:12
  Speaker 6: to talk to you and I seen who you were.
• 14:14
  Speaker 6: And I didn't even like who you were online. And
• 14:15
  Speaker 6: to my point, I tried. And when I seen how
• 14:18
  Speaker 6: you were talking this way, I said, I'm going to
• 14:20
  Speaker 6: take a step back.
• 14:21
  Speaker 5: How convenient to step back.
• 14:23
  Speaker 4: What you mean?
• 14:24
  Speaker 5: I never stepped back from you.
• 14:26
  Speaker 4: From you. That's right.
• 14:27
  Speaker 6: But I never talked to your wife in a disrespectful manner.
• 14:30
  Speaker 6: And you talked to mine in a disrespectful manner. And
• 14:32
  Speaker 6: I never told nobody that. Even when you were on,
• 14:36
  Speaker 6: and you could say you were on those psych meds,
• 14:37
  Speaker 6: and you could say that you weren't, but as a man,
• 14:40
  Speaker 6: some of the things that you said, Tyrese, deserved me
• 14:42
  Speaker 6: to box your mouth.
• 14:43
  Speaker 4: And I didn't, no, no, no, no.
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: No, no, no.
• 14:47
  Speaker 6: No, we were talking, because this is something that I
• 14:48
  Speaker 6: never wanted to say, and since he wants to be, well, why, Envy?
• 14:52
  Speaker 6: I'm telling him why. You said disrespectful shit to my wife.
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: A couple days later, this nigga is crying on the
• 14:58
  Speaker 3: internet once again.
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: Okay, he's obviously trying to get another viral meme.
• 15:04
  Speaker 4: Congratulations.
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: He cried after this interview? Yes. Like he was the victim.
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: Like they really did something to him at the breakfast club.
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: You mean just the other day? Do you hear me?
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: I miss that.
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: To the point to where I had to hit Charlamagne
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: up like, yo, is he well?
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: Is this real? I was waiting for him. I was
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: waiting for him to say, ha, got y'all. Just practicing
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: my acting.
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: I was waiting for that but it never happened he
• 15:37
  Speaker 3: was dead ass serious he was uh thankful to um
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: jess hilarious you know she's been co-hosting.
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: A lot up there.
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: He was very like thankful to her for like help
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: standing up for him and his vulnerable moments and not
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: making fun of him because they felt like charlamagne and
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: dj envy was making fun of him that's what they
• 15:56
  Speaker 3: do he would But they weren't, and he was making
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: fun too.
• 16:00
  Speaker 4: Yeah, he wasn't.
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: That's why, like, some people like that can't. That's a
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: dangerous person. You can't, you don't know what to say
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: around them. You don't know what you could do. Like,
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: I don't know how to act around you, so I'd
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: rather not be around you. You know what I'm saying?
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: Because you were actively participating in all the bullshit, and
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: then you leave and cry on the internet in front
• 16:16
  Speaker 3: of the world.
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: That is so shady.
• 16:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: That's a dangerous person. I had a friend like that before.
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: Like, just because my jokes hit harder, bitch, that don't
• 16:25
  Speaker 3: mean you didn't joke on me first. Right.
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: Just because I come back with a one, two, one, two.
• 16:30
  Speaker 4: Now you crying.
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 16:32
  Speaker 4: I had one of my homegirls. She had got a
• 16:34
  Speaker 4: hair transplant.
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: She had like this thing around her head. And she
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: had made some jokes about, I can't remember what. I
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: think it was because my edges were a little thin
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: or something right there. I was like, bitch, you look
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: like Frankenstein because she had that shit tied around her head.
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: And when I tell you she was big mad, I'm like,
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: how you going to be mad?
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, why you mad, man?
• 16:57
  Speaker 4: I was just joking. You ain't Frankenstein.
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: You just look like it.
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: Oh, crybaby sensitive ass. I can't stand a sensitive ass person.
• 17:08
  Speaker 4: Oh, goodness.
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: If you don't get.
• 17:10
  Speaker 4: Right. Yeah.
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: But anyway, y'all, listen, today's guest, she's an author. She
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: has a new book coming out, or actually it's already released.
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: It's called How I Married a Bigamist. Y'all stay tuned
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: because this shit is hella juicy.
• 17:26
  Speaker 4: Yes, it is.
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: Hey, y'all.
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: Listen, we want to welcome today's guest. She's a new author,
• 17:37
  Speaker 3: just publishing her first book titled How I.
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: Married a Bigamist. Okay, this book explores love, loss, and healing, ultimately.
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: We have the amazingly resilient, bald and the beautiful, Sean Cole.
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: We talk back today. Hey, girl.
• 17:56
  Speaker 4: Hey, girl. Hey.
• 17:57
  Speaker 3: What's up?
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: What's up?
• 18:00
  Speaker 4: Welcome to the show, girl. We appreciate you coming on. Yes.
• 18:03
  Speaker 4: I appreciate you for inviting me. Thank you.
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: So we got to just talk about it today.
• 18:08
  Speaker 4: Yeah. The title kind of tells you about basically the
• 18:12
  Speaker 4: end part because the bigamist is my third husband, quote
• 18:18
  Speaker 4: unquote husband. So I've been married twice before him. My
• 18:24
  Speaker 4: first husband, I found out he was on the down low.
• 18:27
  Speaker 4: He preferred the company of men. I was young. I
• 18:31
  Speaker 4: was in my 20s when I married Tim. I was 25, 26.
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: I feel stressed out.
• 18:37
  Speaker 4: Bitch, we gonna stop right there.
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: I'm stressed. I'm thinking like, damn, she got three. We
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: can't get one.
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: But okay, now I see.
• 18:48
  Speaker 4: You need one quality. Exactly. Quality, not quantity. So, hold on.
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: He was a DL brother. How did you find out?
• 18:59
  Speaker 4: In the book but okay so I'll tell y'all I
• 19:04
  Speaker 4: moved into his house me and my two kids at
• 19:08
  Speaker 4: the time and after a while things just tension arguing
• 19:15
  Speaker 4: not getting along and he left one day and never
• 19:18
  Speaker 4: came back and I moved into his house but he
• 19:22
  Speaker 4: stopped paying the mortgage so it was like he got
• 19:26
  Speaker 4: out before they put us out And one morning I
• 19:30
  Speaker 4: was like, you know how you're like, there has to
• 19:32
  Speaker 4: be an answer in this house somewhere. So I went
• 19:36
  Speaker 4: looking through stuff and he had this file cabinet that
• 19:39
  Speaker 4: I never went in. And I started going in there like,
• 19:42
  Speaker 4: what's in here? So back at that, I don't know
• 19:45
  Speaker 4: how old y'all are, but back in that day, your
• 19:48
  Speaker 4: cell phone bill came. in the mail.
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: Oh, no, we ain't that old. Wait a minute now.
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: I'm just playing, girl. I don't know.
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: My mama was painted at that time, so I don't know.
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: Like Don Cheadle and Kevin Hart.
• 20:05
  Speaker 4: Well, back then, your cell phone bill came in the mail,
• 20:08
  Speaker 4: and it detailed all the calls you made. The times
• 20:12
  Speaker 4: you made them. So I'm looking through the cell phone
• 20:16
  Speaker 4: bill and there's nothing there at the time. So I,
• 20:19
  Speaker 4: you know, I go on about the next couple of
• 20:23
  Speaker 4: days doing what I have to do because I was
• 20:25
  Speaker 4: actually pregnant with his child at the time. So I
• 20:29
  Speaker 4: had to take care of that situation. But then I
• 20:32
  Speaker 4: still had this known feeling that I was missing something,
• 20:34
  Speaker 4: that something was here. So I went back to that
• 20:37
  Speaker 4: file cabinet. I don't know if y'all believe in messages
• 20:41
  Speaker 4: or divine intervention or things like that. So this particular day,
• 20:45
  Speaker 4: there was a page of the cell phone bill on
• 20:49
  Speaker 4: the floor. And I was like, this was not here before.
• 20:53
  Speaker 4: I did not see this before. And when I looked
• 20:56
  Speaker 4: at it, there were some numbers on there. And you
• 20:59
  Speaker 4: know how now it's, worse because everything's in your phone
• 21:03
  Speaker 4: so you just tell CRE or whoever to call whoever
• 21:06
  Speaker 4: or you just dial it like we don't memorize numbers
• 21:09
  Speaker 4: the way we use so I looked at this one
• 21:11
  Speaker 4: particular number and I'm like I know this phone number
• 21:14
  Speaker 4: I know this phone number and it was like one
• 21:17
  Speaker 4: o'clock in the morning I'm like why would he be
• 21:20
  Speaker 4: calling this number at this time so I called the
• 21:22
  Speaker 4: number and the person that I thought would answer answered
• 21:26
  Speaker 4: and it was my very very good friend So I
• 21:30
  Speaker 4: don't know if y'all know anyone from Baltimore. Baltimore is small,
• 21:35
  Speaker 4: especially depending on the circle you intertwine with. And when
• 21:40
  Speaker 4: he answered, I said, I said his name and he
• 21:43
  Speaker 4: was like, yeah. And I said, do you know what
• 21:45
  Speaker 4: such and such? I couldn't, I didn't know if he
• 21:49
  Speaker 4: knew his name or, you know, what the situation was.
• 21:52
  Speaker 4: And he was like, no, who's that? And I was like,
• 21:55
  Speaker 4: my husband. And I said, he's like, no, I don't
• 21:58
  Speaker 4: think I know him. And I said, well, your phone
• 22:00
  Speaker 4: number is on his cell phone bill at like one
• 22:03
  Speaker 4: o'clock in the morning. And my good friend said to me,
• 22:07
  Speaker 4: if he's calling me at that time, it could only
• 22:10
  Speaker 4: be for one thing. And I was like, oh. And
• 22:14
  Speaker 4: he said, do you have a picture of him? And
• 22:15
  Speaker 4: I said, yeah. And he's like, I'll come over and
• 22:18
  Speaker 4: look at it. I said, okay. He didn't come that day.
• 22:20
  Speaker 4: And time went on. And one day he called me
• 22:25
  Speaker 4: because apparently the gossip in this hair salon was me
• 22:29
  Speaker 4: and this man. So he called me. He's like, you know,
• 22:32
  Speaker 4: I'm sorry I didn't get over there, but I'm coming today.
• 22:35
  Speaker 4: Did you find a picture of him? And I was like, yeah.
• 22:38
  Speaker 4: He came over. He looked at the picture and he
• 22:41
  Speaker 4: was like, yeah, I've been with him. And I was like,
• 22:46
  Speaker 4: been with him, been with him. And he's like, yeah.
• 22:50
  Speaker 4: And it was like a thing where, you know, again,
• 22:54
  Speaker 4: back in the day when you're driving, when you come
• 22:57
  Speaker 4: to a light, you like look around you, your, your mind,
• 22:59
  Speaker 4: your surroundings. Now we're on, we on TikTok, Instagram, we're
• 23:03
  Speaker 4: on social media. We're all on our phones when we
• 23:06
  Speaker 4: come to a stop or light. But back then, you know,
• 23:09
  Speaker 4: you might glance at the car next to you. They
• 23:11
  Speaker 4: glance back and y'all had that little virtual, that little
• 23:14
  Speaker 4: eye contact. And that's what happened with them. And, he
• 23:20
  Speaker 4: followed him to his house and they were they had
• 23:23
  Speaker 4: sex and this was before he met me but here's
• 23:29
  Speaker 4: an interesting thing so after that friend left I call
• 23:32
  Speaker 4: another friend because you know the community's small and I
• 23:36
  Speaker 4: said um such and such knows him do you know
• 23:40
  Speaker 4: him and after like a little silence he was like
• 23:44
  Speaker 4: yeah and I said well how do you know him
• 23:49
  Speaker 4: And he said, we used to date, talk, whatever. And
• 23:52
  Speaker 4: I was like, okay. But this is the interesting thing
• 23:55
  Speaker 4: about this one. He actually met him. I introduced them.
• 24:01
  Speaker 4: He worked in the mall. We went to the mall
• 24:03
  Speaker 4: one day, my husband and I. And I said, come
• 24:07
  Speaker 4: on in the store with me. I want you to
• 24:08
  Speaker 4: meet such and such. And he was like, no, I
• 24:12
  Speaker 4: don't want to go in there. And I'm like, why not?
• 24:15
  Speaker 4: You know, like, this is a really good friend of mine.
• 24:17
  Speaker 4: I want you to meet him. So at the time,
• 24:19
  Speaker 4: I thought he was homophobic because he was like, I
• 24:21
  Speaker 4: don't want to go in there. I'm not going in there.
• 24:23
  Speaker 4: You go. I'm not going in there.
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: Okay, bet.
• 24:27
  Speaker 4: So I said to myself, if I stay in this
• 24:29
  Speaker 4: store long enough, he's going to have to come in
• 24:31
  Speaker 4: here to get me. Sure enough, I went in there.
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: I'm talking.
• 24:35
  Speaker 4: And he comes in the store. And I introduced them like, hey,
• 24:40
  Speaker 4: this is and this is. And they were like, what's up?
• 24:44
  Speaker 4: No indication they knew each other. None whatsoever. So when
• 24:48
  Speaker 4: I called him, I was like, did you know him?
• 24:50
  Speaker 4: He was like, yeah. So you knew him before I
• 24:52
  Speaker 4: introduced y'all? And he's like, yeah. And I said, you
• 24:56
  Speaker 4: never told me that you were intimate with the man
• 24:59
  Speaker 4: I was about to marry. You just let me marry.
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: They dangerous. They are.
• 25:06
  Speaker 4: They are. And you know, and I don't know if
• 25:08
  Speaker 4: you know who Elon Harris is because he wrote about this.
• 25:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I read that book. And I read his books.
• 25:15
  Speaker 3: They would say like the little book.
• 25:16
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I did.
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: Waking of the Eye and all that shit.
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: That makes me think of that episode of Martin where
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: they was like, and who is your husband? When Shanaynay
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: and them was trying to join their group and she
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: was like, humpity, humpity, George.
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: Like everybody knew who your man was. That's how I
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: felt like.
• 25:32
  Speaker 4: So these people knew, except the friend that came over
• 25:35
  Speaker 4: because he'd never met him before. But I'm like, you know,
• 25:39
  Speaker 4: what kind of friend are you to let me marry him?
• 25:43
  Speaker 4: Knowing that he lived this life I knew nothing about.
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 25:47
  Speaker 4: Double lifestyle. And he was like, well, he called me.
• 25:49
  Speaker 4: He asked me. He told me, you know, not to
• 25:52
  Speaker 4: tell you. He tried to say when we started talking again,
• 25:55
  Speaker 4: because of course the friendship ended for me at that point.
• 25:58
  Speaker 4: But when we did reconnect years later, he said that
• 26:02
  Speaker 4: he felt like he was afraid of him. He didn't
• 26:04
  Speaker 4: know who he knew, and he kind of threatened him
• 26:06
  Speaker 4: and all this and all that. He told him that,
• 26:09
  Speaker 4: you know, he changed. He really loved me. He wasn't
• 26:12
  Speaker 4: in that lifestyle anymore and all that good stuff. He
• 26:17
  Speaker 4: was delivered.
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: So do y'all think men can be actually delivered, right?
• 26:21
  Speaker 3: Like, would you intentionally date somebody knowing they have been
• 26:26
  Speaker 3: with a man before?
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: Because I would not.
• 26:28
  Speaker 4: No no yeah and even yeah because.
• 26:33
  Speaker 3: I i think they think the concern is that oh
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: you're gonna cheat on me with a man but no
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: i just don't want a man who even thinks about.
• 26:41
  Speaker 4: Experiencing another attraction yeah yeah and my thing with that
• 26:45
  Speaker 4: is another man i how can you suppress your your
• 26:51
  Speaker 4: attraction if you are attracted to, and see, this is
• 26:55
  Speaker 4: the thing about that, that life as well. A lot
• 26:57
  Speaker 4: of men, cause I used to go to, you know,
• 27:00
  Speaker 4: hang out with my gay friends and go to the
• 27:01
  Speaker 4: club and I would see guys in there and I'd
• 27:03
  Speaker 4: be like, you like, you know, like the thug hard dudes.
• 27:09
  Speaker 4: And I'm like, okay. And they used to say, or
• 27:12
  Speaker 4: they would feel like if they were the tops, and
• 27:17
  Speaker 4: not the bottoms, that they weren't gay. They didn't consider
• 27:20
  Speaker 4: themselves gay because they weren't being penetrated. They were doing
• 27:23
  Speaker 4: the penetration. So for me, I'm like, now if you
• 27:31
  Speaker 4: got a woman that's into anal, that may satisfy you.
• 27:34
  Speaker 4: But if you have a physical attraction to a man,
• 27:37
  Speaker 4: like if you are attracted to their body and just them, Yeah,
• 27:43
  Speaker 4: then I know that's not a lifestyle I want to
• 27:46
  Speaker 4: partake in. I know a lot of people, you know,
• 27:48
  Speaker 4: they talk about it in movies. Candy and Todd just
• 27:53
  Speaker 4: have something about not that lifestyle, but just a different lifestyle.
• 27:57
  Speaker 4: And I'm, no, that's not me. And if I knew beforehand,
• 28:02
  Speaker 4: I wouldn't have married him.
• 28:05
  Speaker 3: I heard Baltimore was like Atlanta in that way, right?
• 28:08
  Speaker 3: And it's like a thing in Baltimore. This is what
• 28:11
  Speaker 3: I heard, I think, from a credible source that was
• 28:13
  Speaker 3: locked up with a lot of them. That said that
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: it's like a thing in Baltimore to have.
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: A bad bitch and a bad nigga bitch.
• 28:22
  Speaker 4: I think, well, you know, Baltimore is so close to D.C.
• 28:26
  Speaker 4: So D.C. is like, that's to me, baby Atlanta when
• 28:30
  Speaker 4: it comes to that. But I think Baltimore is so
• 28:33
  Speaker 4: close to D.C. that you may, you know, the Baltimore
• 28:36
  Speaker 4: dudes may trickle off into D.C. and do their business
• 28:38
  Speaker 4: and they want to come back home into Baltimore. So
• 28:41
  Speaker 4: I wouldn't be surprised.
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: Interesting. I wouldn't be surprised at all. The thugs, Shadi. Yes,
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: taking care of everybody.
• 28:49
  Speaker 4: The Omars. Now, y'all did watch P-Valley, didn't you?
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we did.
• 28:54
  Speaker 4: Yeah, because we didn't know about all that until after
• 28:58
  Speaker 4: the guy got out of jail. Yes. And I was like,
• 29:01
  Speaker 4: you know, that episode, I think everybody was like, wait,
• 29:03
  Speaker 4: hold up. Run this back.
• 29:05
  Speaker 3: Listen, I stopped watching P-Valley when a dude spit on
• 29:09
  Speaker 3: his hand.
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: Like, he had the spit come out.
• 29:11
  Speaker 3: Like, when he was lubing old boy up in the office.
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, I'm good.
• 29:15
  Speaker 4: I'm cool. Yeah. so you'll watch.
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: It you would watch it but you went like.
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: I don't yeah i don't i'll watch like i don't
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: have no problem watching it is erotic for me a
• 29:34
  Speaker 2: little bit but it's not something i would want my
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: man to participate.
• 29:39
  Speaker 4: In i I even like to.
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: I will even like to put shit like that on
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: with a guy when I'm getting to know him. To
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: see how he can play a little bit and then
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: touch his dick to see if it's hard.
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: Because if it's hard, that's a problem. That's entrapment, bitch.
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: That's entrapment. That's entrapment. How? You put him in a
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: position to make the dick hard. You did that.
• 30:03
  Speaker 4: Hold on.
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: What's going on here?
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: No, because if your dick is getting hard, watch it
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: to me. You need to unpack that. But not over here.
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: Somewhere else.
• 30:12
  Speaker 4: I'll unpack it for you. Okay, yeah. Okay, so you
• 30:19
  Speaker 4: move on. You leave him. Marriage 2. Marriage 2. Now,
• 30:22
  Speaker 4: Marriage 2, that was a different journey. So with, again,
• 30:27
  Speaker 4: I had two kids, got married. He had none. He
• 30:31
  Speaker 4: wanted at least one. I thought it was my wifely
• 30:33
  Speaker 4: duty to give him a child. We tried for about
• 30:37
  Speaker 4: two years and nothing happened. Went to the doctor. Lo
• 30:40
  Speaker 4: and behold, he can't really produce children the natural way.
• 30:44
  Speaker 4: So then that marriage took me on a fertility journey
• 30:48
  Speaker 4: of interuterine insemination and then lastly IVF, which that was
• 30:55
  Speaker 4: in itself because you have to give yourself all these medications,
• 30:59
  Speaker 4: injections in your stomach. You have to take all these tests.
• 31:04
  Speaker 4: It's expensive. So we were so blessed that he worked
• 31:07
  Speaker 4: for the state of Maryland and our insurance covered it 100%.
• 31:10
  Speaker 4: Like we would have, you know, the regular copay here
• 31:12
  Speaker 4: and there, but they covered the first three rounds of IUI,
• 31:17
  Speaker 4: the end-to-uterine insemination, and then three rounds of IVF. So
• 31:21
  Speaker 4: I did two rounds of IUI and when that didn't work,
• 31:24
  Speaker 4: I was like, okay, let's move on to IVF. And
• 31:27
  Speaker 4: the first round was horrific. Like my medication overstimulated me
• 31:34
  Speaker 4: so bad that I looked like I was eight months
• 31:37
  Speaker 4: pregnant just from fluid buildup because you know when you're
• 31:39
  Speaker 4: about to ovulate, your egg gets like fluid around it
• 31:43
  Speaker 4: like it's in a little sack. So imagine you have
• 31:46
  Speaker 4: 30 eggs that are ready to drop And so you
• 31:51
  Speaker 4: overstimulate and you're holding all that fluid. And I was
• 31:54
  Speaker 4: so uncomfortable. I was nauseous. I couldn't keep anything down. Ultimately,
• 31:59
  Speaker 4: I ended up in the hospital for seven days because
• 32:02
  Speaker 4: it was that bad.
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: I don't understand why you would have to go through
• 32:06
  Speaker 3: fertility treatment with the issue.
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: Wouldn't they be able to? Because I know.
• 32:11
  Speaker 4: So what?
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: Not that they get busy. Not anyway. Wouldn't they be
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: able to retrieve?
• 32:16
  Speaker 3: Some sperm from him to insert in you like just
• 32:19
  Speaker 3: do straight to IVF right.
• 32:21
  Speaker 4: So that so that is what they do with both
• 32:24
  Speaker 4: of them so with IUI they take his sperm and
• 32:27
  Speaker 4: they take the good ones and they inseminate you and
• 32:31
  Speaker 4: then you're like okay let's see how that works and
• 32:34
  Speaker 4: that didn't work because I guess there weren't as many
• 32:37
  Speaker 4: good sperm as there were no I don't want to
• 32:41
  Speaker 4: say bad sperm but non-good sperm bad sperm So with
• 32:45
  Speaker 4: the IVF, they kind of do the same thing. They
• 32:47
  Speaker 4: take the best of the best and they inseminate each egg.
• 32:52
  Speaker 4: And then from there they watch it and they see
• 32:55
  Speaker 4: which ones develop the best. And then those they put
• 32:58
  Speaker 4: back into you. So for us, they put two in
• 33:02
  Speaker 4: and the first time, because it was a frozen cycle.
• 33:04
  Speaker 4: So I got so sick, they couldn't put them.
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: Back in right away.
• 33:07
  Speaker 4: So they froze them. And then when I got better,
• 33:10
  Speaker 4: they use those and, they didn't work. So then I
• 33:14
  Speaker 4: was like.
• 33:14
  Speaker 3: Okay, I'll do this one last time. The thawing out
• 33:20
  Speaker 3: process of the egg could kill the egg.
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Kill the embryo.
• 33:24
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Um, I guess if they're not as strong, they
• 33:28
  Speaker 4: wouldn't survive anyway, but it could be, it's better to
• 33:32
  Speaker 4: do a fresh cycle where they're not frozen. Um, because
• 33:35
  Speaker 4: your body may take those better. And that's what happened
• 33:39
  Speaker 4: the second time. Um, When we decided to do it again,
• 33:42
  Speaker 4: it was a fresh cycle. I didn't overstimulate as bad.
• 33:46
  Speaker 4: So they were able to continue and just do the retrieval,
• 33:49
  Speaker 4: put them back after they took them out. And for me,
• 33:52
  Speaker 4: that marriage, I just had the expectation that if I
• 33:55
  Speaker 4: did all this hard work for this man, that he
• 33:57
  Speaker 4: was going to be like the best father and the
• 33:59
  Speaker 4: best husband. And he wasn't. He wasn't terrible, but he
• 34:03
  Speaker 4: wasn't as helpful. Like I thought he would be excited.
• 34:06
  Speaker 4: And when the baby woke up in the middle of
• 34:07
  Speaker 4: the night, he'd be right there to change diapers and
• 34:09
  Speaker 4: get milk and all that. No, he'd be sleeping. I
• 34:12
  Speaker 4: would have to wake like, listen, you're either going to
• 34:15
  Speaker 4: get the pamper or you're going to get the bottle.
• 34:18
  Speaker 4: Which one is it? And he'll like, like he, the
• 34:21
  Speaker 4: baby be crying. He will be snoring. He wouldn't hear nothing.
• 34:25
  Speaker 4: And after a while, I was like, you know, I
• 34:26
  Speaker 4: gave you a child that you wanted, and I'm doing
• 34:30
  Speaker 4: everything by myself.
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: Is that his first child? Yes. So he didn't... So
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: I think that... Because one of my friends.
• 34:37
  Speaker 4: Here you go. You're going to say he needed... Here
• 34:40
  Speaker 4: you go.
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: Go ahead and say it. No, I'm just saying, like,
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: I think some men assume, like, that's just the mom's job. Like, no,
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: you got to help. You have to help with that.
• 34:49
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 34:50
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but even when you tell them, like, you need
• 34:53
  Speaker 4: to help. Like, you know... this is our child together
• 34:57
  Speaker 4: and the help still doesn't come and it's like and
• 35:01
  Speaker 4: then there were other issues too like communication and I
• 35:04
  Speaker 4: don't know if how much of our things that go
• 35:08
  Speaker 4: on up here but a few years ago and he's
• 35:11
  Speaker 4: a correctional officer and a few years ago there was
• 35:13
  Speaker 4: this whole jail mafia thing And he was co-mingling with
• 35:19
  Speaker 4: one of the officers. So he said he wasn't, but
• 35:22
  Speaker 4: I think he was. And I'm like, I better not
• 35:24
  Speaker 4: find out that you intertwined in this little in-house jail
• 35:28
  Speaker 4: crew that's, you know, about to be investigated. And it
• 35:32
  Speaker 4: just seemed like it was downhill from there. Communication was off.
• 35:37
  Speaker 4: He's the type of person that although y'all are married,
• 35:40
  Speaker 4: he has his business, his personal business. that he doesn't
• 35:44
  Speaker 4: want to share with you. I'm like, I can't be
• 35:46
  Speaker 4: married to somebody that has, you know, their little secrets
• 35:50
  Speaker 4: in their own life. And, and he, I gave you
• 35:53
  Speaker 4: a child and you're still acting like we're roommates and
• 35:56
  Speaker 4: all that.
• 35:58
  Speaker 3: So now we're three kids then, because you, I guess
• 36:01
  Speaker 3: I'm assuming ultimately you didn't.
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: Have the baby for the first. Okay. So now we're
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: three kids in two husbands in three. Yeah.
• 36:11
  Speaker 4: We got the.
• 36:12
  Speaker 3: Worst type of niggas, okay? Second one, he just was
• 36:15
  Speaker 3: an adult. He wasn't an adult.
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: He didn't know what marriage was.
• 36:19
  Speaker 4: Exactly.
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: That's what it sounds like to me.
• 36:20
  Speaker 4: He was the youngest child. He was home the longest.
• 36:26
  Speaker 4: You know, first child. They were 40. Yeah. He wanted you.
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: To take care of him, child.
• 36:34
  Speaker 4: Yes. Like... I remember one time he came home from
• 36:38
  Speaker 4: work and he was like, you didn't cook. And I
• 36:39
  Speaker 4: was like, it's leftovers in there. He was like, I
• 36:42
  Speaker 4: don't eat leftovers. I was like, oh, okay. So I
• 36:46
  Speaker 4: was talking to his mother. She was like, well, he
• 36:48
  Speaker 4: used to eat leftovers over here. I said, well, I
• 36:50
  Speaker 4: guess he think over here I'm supposed to cook a
• 36:52
  Speaker 4: hot meal for him every day. Well, there's some cereal
• 36:55
  Speaker 4: in there as well. no eat an.
• 36:59
  Speaker 3: Air sandwich you take two slices of bread blow in
• 37:02
  Speaker 3: between them real quick that's what my daddy used to
• 37:04
  Speaker 3: tell us if you think you're gonna be hungry eat
• 37:06
  Speaker 3: an air sandwich and some water and go to sleep
• 37:08
  Speaker 3: nigga what that's why I'm confused about these bitches online
• 37:12
  Speaker 3: talking about they getting up 3 o'clock and my man
• 37:14
  Speaker 3: want a meal 2 o'clock in the morning listen you
• 37:17
  Speaker 3: might wake me up with some quick sex from the
• 37:18
  Speaker 3: side but you better not wake me up to cook
• 37:20
  Speaker 3: no goddamn scrambled eggs unless we both drunk coming in
• 37:24
  Speaker 3: from the club together Now, if I didn't work, okay, now,
• 37:28
  Speaker 3: it depends.
• 37:29
  Speaker 4: Yeah, if I don't have to work, I get up
• 37:31
  Speaker 4: to work. And he didn't, you know, check all our expense,
• 37:36
  Speaker 4: and I didn't have to say, listen, I want these
• 37:38
  Speaker 4: new shoes. And if it was the marriage I wanted,
• 37:44
  Speaker 4: I wouldn't mind. But if I'm working, take cooking, cleaning,
• 37:49
  Speaker 4: doing everything, and you think you're supposed to go to work,
• 37:52
  Speaker 4: I take out the trash as well. Like you just
• 37:55
  Speaker 4: go to work and come home, go to work and
• 37:56
  Speaker 4: come home. That doesn't work for me.
• 38:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: You tripping.
• 38:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I get to work for you, the kids, the house,
• 38:03
  Speaker 3: but you just to go, you go to work and
• 38:05
  Speaker 3: work for the white man and come home and come home.
• 38:08
  Speaker 4: And you go right to the kitchen and you're like,
• 38:10
  Speaker 4: where's my, where's my dinner? You could have brought the
• 38:13
  Speaker 4: dinner home where you was on your way home, sir.
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: No, I agree.
• 38:20
  Speaker 4: Let's not get twisted because I don't want the people
• 38:22
  Speaker 4: listening to be like, oh, no wonder she had the
• 38:24
  Speaker 4: many husbands. No, I cook. I'm just not cooking every day.
• 38:28
  Speaker 4: I'm not doing it all by myself.
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: Right. He could cook some days.
• 38:34
  Speaker 4: Or get to know how to cook. Yeah, if he
• 38:37
  Speaker 4: can't cook, he'll take it out.
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: Outsource.
• 38:39
  Speaker 4: You have your night off tonight, honey. I'll bring dinner home.
• 38:42
  Speaker 4: We'll order what you want. Whatever. DoorDash. He ain't even
• 38:46
  Speaker 4: got to go get it. They didn't have DoorDash back then. Girl,
• 38:50
  Speaker 4: how old are you? I'll be 49. I'll be 49
• 38:55
  Speaker 4: in January.
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: You look stupid.
• 38:58
  Speaker 4: They ain't had DoorDash.
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: We was rigging a Dick and Jane and cooking by
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: the candlelight.
• 39:04
  Speaker 7: We ain't that damn old now. buckets of water from
• 39:18
  Speaker 7: the well no they still they still do that today
• 39:22
  Speaker 7: depending on where they live at now.
• 39:24
  Speaker 3: Right you're right i wear mine so well water because
• 39:26
  Speaker 3: we don't know what the hell is in the current water.
• 39:29
  Speaker 4: You know drying out your damn hair and what not
• 39:33
  Speaker 4: so yeah then I saw at that time I was
• 39:35
  Speaker 4: like you know what I'm a single mom with three
• 39:37
  Speaker 4: kids I want something different I want something better so
• 39:41
  Speaker 4: then I moved to Charlotte oh shit I went from
• 39:46
  Speaker 4: the frying pan into the fire Yeah, so I got
• 39:51
  Speaker 4: to Charlotte, and I got settled. I started dating, and
• 39:55
  Speaker 4: I met the person I am married to now. So
• 40:01
  Speaker 4: at the time, man, we go through our thing. We date.
• 40:05
  Speaker 4: We live together. We go through some infidelity issues. And
• 40:10
  Speaker 4: I'm like, you know what? I'm sick of your ass.
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: I'm out of here.
• 40:14
  Speaker 4: Packed up, moved back to Baltimore. Had a good time
• 40:18
  Speaker 4: for two and a half years dating and being single again. And,
• 40:21
  Speaker 4: you know, getting back into the group of my people
• 40:24
  Speaker 4: and being around my friends and my family again. And
• 40:28
  Speaker 4: then he comes back and he's like, I've missed you
• 40:30
  Speaker 4: so much. I realized what I had when I lost you.
• 40:33
  Speaker 4: I just I've changed. I want to do that.
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: I want to.
• 40:36
  Speaker 4: Provide for you all this and all that. So I said, OK, cool.
• 40:41
  Speaker 4: We start dating again and we get engaged. We get married.
• 40:45
  Speaker 4: Not long after we got married, these little signs come
• 40:49
  Speaker 4: back and I'm like, I know after being apart all
• 40:52
  Speaker 4: this time, you don't come back to do the same
• 40:55
  Speaker 4: shit you did when I left you the last time.
• 41:01
  Speaker 4: So no, no, no. I just flirt. It's just flirt.
• 41:04
  Speaker 4: I'd never cheat on you. I'll never cheat on you.
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: Okay, fine.
• 41:07
  Speaker 4: We move forward. We buy a house in New York, Pennsylvania.
• 41:11
  Speaker 4: Get a dog. All the... house stuff you know white
• 41:16
  Speaker 4: picket fence all that good stuff and then in March
• 41:24
  Speaker 4: I see a document in his email and drafts and
• 41:27
  Speaker 4: it's from an attorney's office and it says you know
• 41:29
  Speaker 4: hey Mr. such and such we're the attorney for Mrs.
• 41:33
  Speaker 4: such and such and we need this paperwork filled out
• 41:36
  Speaker 4: to send to the judge to sign with the divorce decree.
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: I'm like, the divorce decree?
• 41:42
  Speaker 4: Like, why are they sending him this? Now, I'm not
• 41:44
  Speaker 4: sure at this time I've known this man for eight years.
• 41:48
  Speaker 4: I'm like, why are they sending him paperwork for a
• 41:51
  Speaker 4: divorce decree years later? So I look at this list
• 41:56
  Speaker 4: of the date of marriage and the date of divorce.
• 41:58
  Speaker 4: And at the time I read it, I was like, okay,
• 42:00
  Speaker 4: it didn't click. It didn't register in the brain because,
• 42:03
  Speaker 4: you know, sometimes your eyes and your brain are not
• 42:06
  Speaker 4: on the same page. So I go about my day.
• 42:10
  Speaker 4: And then later on, I'm in a shower where I
• 42:12
  Speaker 4: do my best thinking. And I play out my day
• 42:16
  Speaker 4: in my mind. And then something said, bitch, did you
• 42:18
  Speaker 4: pay attention? You're not paying attention, girl.
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: So I hurry up.
• 42:26
  Speaker 4: I'm like, oh, my God. I don't think I saw
• 42:28
  Speaker 4: what I think I saw. And I took my shower
• 42:31
  Speaker 4: because I downloaded the document to my phone. So when
• 42:33
  Speaker 4: I got the shower, I looked it up. And sure enough,
• 42:36
  Speaker 4: If this man got divorced, his divorce was final two
• 42:39
  Speaker 4: months after we got married. But the kicker and the
• 42:43
  Speaker 4: killer for me was I've known you all this time.
• 42:47
  Speaker 4: I've referred to her as your ex-wife. When I talk
• 42:52
  Speaker 4: to you about her or anyone and I mentioned, oh,
• 42:54
  Speaker 4: your ex-wife, your ex-wife, not once did this man come
• 42:58
  Speaker 4: to me and say, well, I'm still married. You allowed
• 43:01
  Speaker 4: me because we didn't go to the courthouse and get married.
• 43:04
  Speaker 4: We had a wedding. at midnight on New Year's Eve
• 43:10
  Speaker 4: in winter dressed in black the guests wore black gowns
• 43:15
  Speaker 4: and tux and you know came out of their house.
• 43:20
  Speaker 8: It was very lit for a very good party technically
• 43:24
  Speaker 8: what it turned out to be because you can't call
• 43:27
  Speaker 8: it a wedding reception because you can't be married to
• 43:29
  Speaker 8: two people at the same.
• 43:30
  Speaker 4: Time well in some states you can't be right And yeah,
• 43:37
  Speaker 4: it was like, you know how it is. And we
• 43:40
  Speaker 4: as women, when I found out, my first thought was embarrassment. Like,
• 43:46
  Speaker 4: you feel like, how did I let this nigga do
• 43:49
  Speaker 4: this to me again? Like, I gave you the chance
• 43:54
  Speaker 4: to do this to me again. So basically, I didn't
• 43:58
  Speaker 4: learn anything the first go around. So I self-isolated. Like,
• 44:03
  Speaker 4: I stopped hanging out with my friends. I stopped going anywhere.
• 44:06
  Speaker 4: I would, you know, every now and then I would
• 44:08
  Speaker 4: have people at my house. I had brunches. All that
• 44:10
  Speaker 4: with my friends. I stopped doing all that. They would
• 44:13
  Speaker 4: check on me. And then, you know, you're like, oh,
• 44:15
  Speaker 4: I'm good, girl. How you doing when you're not? I
• 44:18
  Speaker 4: fell into this depression. And my therapist was like, you
• 44:21
  Speaker 4: need to get out your mind and get it on paper.
• 44:25
  Speaker 4: And one day I said, you know, I'm going to
• 44:27
  Speaker 4: write a book. And the funny thing is, I was
• 44:30
  Speaker 4: talking to one of his sisters, and I said, I
• 44:32
  Speaker 4: should profit off my pain. I can't believe he put
• 44:34
  Speaker 4: me through all this. And she said, you should.
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: You should.
• 44:37
  Speaker 4: Write a book and profit off of it. And I said,
• 44:39
  Speaker 4: you know what, girl? I am. Thanks for the encouragement.
• 44:43
  Speaker 4: It's your brother, but thanks for the encouragement.
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: That's a good sister.
• 44:48
  Speaker 4: And I wrote my book in 30 days off of
• 44:51
  Speaker 4: pure emotion.
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: And you said that's who you're married to still right now.
• 44:58
  Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: Are y'all like actively together?
• 45:01
  Speaker 4: We live in the same house. So this is the
• 45:05
  Speaker 4: thing right now. At work. At work. And this is
• 45:12
  Speaker 4: the thing.
• 45:12
  Speaker 2: So you say you live in the same house, but
• 45:14
  Speaker 2: are y'all amicable?
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: Or what is it?
• 45:19
  Speaker 4: He has his, you know, he's moved into the guest room,
• 45:22
  Speaker 4: although that's not where he wants to be, but that's
• 45:24
  Speaker 4: where he is permanently. The house is on the market,
• 45:28
  Speaker 4: so I'm trying to sell the house so I can
• 45:31
  Speaker 4: move back to the South. I'm going to be a
• 45:35
  Speaker 4: first-time glammy. My daughter's pregnant, so thank you. And to me,
• 45:41
  Speaker 4: it's like the rainbow at the end of a storm.
• 45:45
  Speaker 4: It's a chance at a new life starting over. Of course,
• 45:49
  Speaker 4: I didn't want to do it at this age, but
• 45:51
  Speaker 4: things happen for a reason. And I believe that maybe
• 45:54
  Speaker 4: God put all this on me to deliver a message
• 45:57
  Speaker 4: to other women that there is no shame in loving
• 46:01
  Speaker 4: the wrong person. It's not your fault. You love who
• 46:04
  Speaker 4: you love and they love how they love. And if
• 46:08
  Speaker 4: they don't love you properly... You have to weather that
• 46:11
  Speaker 4: storm and get through it and heal from it, learn
• 46:15
  Speaker 4: from it. And at the end of that storm, it's
• 46:17
  Speaker 4: going to be a beautiful rainbow. You can start over
• 46:21
  Speaker 4: and find love again. And I think when you get
• 46:23
  Speaker 4: to a particular age, you're like, man, because that's how
• 46:26
  Speaker 4: I feel. I'm like, I don't want to be in
• 46:28
  Speaker 4: my 50s dating.
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: Not like.
• 46:32
  Speaker 4: The options. And I'm not going to say, you know,
• 46:36
  Speaker 4: there's pee in the dating pool. It's a little cloudy.
• 46:40
  Speaker 4: It's a little unsavory. You don't... Because I know how
• 46:44
  Speaker 4: it was when I was dating before I got married.
• 46:48
  Speaker 4: And to go back to that, it's a little... But
• 46:50
  Speaker 4: I'd rather be by myself and have peace than dating
• 46:54
  Speaker 4: these men that find you in peace and leave you
• 46:58
  Speaker 4: in pieces.
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: Let's talk about it, okay? Yeah.
• 47:02
  Speaker 3: Because they swear all they want is peace from a woman.
• 47:04
  Speaker 3: But these niggas is not peaceful.
• 47:06
  Speaker 4: Right. And that's the thing. You want what you're not giving.
• 47:10
  Speaker 4: And I felt like that was the relationship. Oh, he
• 47:14
  Speaker 4: wanted all these things, but you're not giving the basics,
• 47:18
  Speaker 4: which is trust, loyalty.
• 47:22
  Speaker 8: Integrity.
• 47:26
  Speaker 4: Yes. Integrity. Yes, because how can you just get married
• 47:30
  Speaker 4: to someone, but then you're out here with whomever that
• 47:34
  Speaker 4: you're meeting wherever, doing whatever. And then you come home
• 47:40
  Speaker 4: to your wife, you kiss them all in the mouth
• 47:42
  Speaker 4: and you hug them.
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: The kids too.
• 47:44
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah. Like I should wash your mouth out with
• 47:48
  Speaker 4: bleach at this point. You're nasty. Would you marry again?
• 47:53
  Speaker 4: I would, but I am definitely more cautious. And I
• 47:59
  Speaker 4: think there were some reflects that I didn't pay attention to,
• 48:04
  Speaker 4: but I will definitely, because sometimes we get in our
• 48:07
  Speaker 4: own way. And what may be a red flag may
• 48:10
  Speaker 4: not really be a red flag. Like, I would go
• 48:14
  Speaker 4: on a date. And if I didn't like his shoes,
• 48:17
  Speaker 4: I wasn't dating him again.
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: Subtle, stupid, red flag.
• 48:23
  Speaker 4: You know how you was.
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: I don't like how this nigga chew. I'm out. Why
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: he breathing like that?
• 48:31
  Speaker 2: Why he got his t-shirt tucked in?
• 48:33
  Speaker 1: I think I'm starting to be like that.
• 48:34
  Speaker 4: T-shirt.
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: I think I'm starting to be like that.
• 48:38
  Speaker 3: Normally, I'll stay in a relationship so damn long for
• 48:41
  Speaker 3: no fucking reason. Now I be getting out soon and early.
• 48:44
  Speaker 4: Yeah, because you don't have the order you get. You
• 48:46
  Speaker 4: don't have that time. I don't have that time to
• 48:49
  Speaker 4: keep wasting, you know, trying to overlook things. And then
• 48:54
  Speaker 4: you have to convince yourself like, okay, is this that bad?
• 48:59
  Speaker 4: Can I put up with that? Can I deal with that?
• 49:02
  Speaker 4: Like you're adjusting your wants and needs for someone else.
• 49:05
  Speaker 4: And ultimately, five years from now, the same things that
• 49:09
  Speaker 4: you overlooked, that were okay, are now getting on your
• 49:13
  Speaker 4: goddamn nerves. So, saying that, speaking of that, let me
• 49:16
  Speaker 4: ask you this.
• 49:16
  Speaker 2: So, he was legally married to someone else and didn't
• 49:20
  Speaker 2: get divorced until two months after you were married.
• 49:22
  Speaker 4: But were you happy outside of that? No. Because here's
• 49:26
  Speaker 4: the truth. If I was happy outside of that, we
• 49:29
  Speaker 4: could have worked through that. I would have told him, okay,
• 49:32
  Speaker 4: let's just get a little secret ceremony and get married
• 49:36
  Speaker 4: and no one will know but us. But when I
• 49:39
  Speaker 4: looked at everything that I went through in just the year,
• 49:43
  Speaker 4: from January of 2022 to when I found out, I'm like,
• 49:49
  Speaker 4: look at all the shit you did.
• 49:52
  Speaker 1: So this is like new, y'all. This is new.
• 49:56
  Speaker 4: New. Got married last year, January. Took him on a
• 50:03
  Speaker 4: trip for his birthday in April. Came back from the trip.
• 50:09
  Speaker 4: I'm like, you know how we had those intuitions. Something's wrong.
• 50:12
  Speaker 4: Something's not right. Look at his phone. He's all chit-chatting
• 50:17
  Speaker 4: with some two women. And I'm like, this isn't an
• 50:21
  Speaker 4: appropriate conversation. And then you know it's not appropriate when
• 50:25
  Speaker 4: you only talk to them when you're not home. If
• 50:28
  Speaker 4: they call you when you're home, you don't answer. Like,
• 50:31
  Speaker 4: these are all signs to me that something's just not
• 50:34
  Speaker 4: right here. But then you're being told, oh, they're just friends.
• 50:37
  Speaker 4: They're just friends. No, I know what just a friend is.
• 50:40
  Speaker 4: And I know how just friends talk to each other.
• 50:42
  Speaker 4: And this ain't it. And one lady lives in Charlotte. Oh, shit.
• 50:46
  Speaker 1: And I text her.
• 50:47
  Speaker 4: I said, bitch, I'm about to sue you for alienation
• 50:51
  Speaker 4: of affection if I see your number.
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: You can do that.
• 50:55
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you can definitely see. As long as one person
• 50:58
  Speaker 4: lives there, I didn't have to live there neither did he,
• 51:00
  Speaker 4: but she did. She was like, well, you and your
• 51:03
  Speaker 4: husband lose my number. Oh, yeah, I'll lose your number.
• 51:06
  Speaker 4: You better lose his number. I bet. I bet that's
• 51:10
  Speaker 4: what she said. Sorry, let me ask you this. Before
• 51:17
  Speaker 4: you married him, was it ever any inkling like.
• 51:22
  Speaker 2: Maybe I shouldn't do this. Maybe he's Not the one.
• 51:25
  Speaker 2: Maybe I'm making a mistake again. Like, did you feel
• 51:28
  Speaker 2: any of that before you said it.
• 51:30
  Speaker 4: Was 50 50? Half of me was like, you sure
• 51:33
  Speaker 4: you want to do this? Maybe this isn't the person
• 51:36
  Speaker 4: you're supposed to marry. But then the other half of
• 51:39
  Speaker 4: me said, well, why would God put y'all back together
• 51:42
  Speaker 4: if you're not supposed to be with this person? So
• 51:46
  Speaker 4: it's like half and half. And like, who do you
• 51:49
  Speaker 4: listen to? Who's stronger? Who has more of a word?
• 51:53
  Speaker 4: And then I realized after the fact, like, you know,
• 51:56
  Speaker 4: was that even God that put us back together? It
• 51:59
  Speaker 4: could have been something or someone else. And you want
• 52:02
  Speaker 4: to believe, oh, we're destined to be together. God brought
• 52:06
  Speaker 4: us back together. No, that the Lord probably was saying, girl,
• 52:11
  Speaker 4: don't do it. But you're taking messages and you're Turn
• 52:15
  Speaker 4: them into what you want them to believe. Yeah, I
• 52:18
  Speaker 4: did that. Yeah.
• 52:19
  Speaker 1: God is in you. You did that.
• 52:21
  Speaker 4: He said all the right things. And I was like, OK,
• 52:25
  Speaker 4: maybe he did learn his lesson. And you want to
• 52:28
  Speaker 4: you want to give people the benefit of the doubt.
• 52:30
  Speaker 4: You want to give them a second chance. And I
• 52:32
  Speaker 4: wanted to believe that, you know, at a certain age,
• 52:35
  Speaker 4: you want better for your life. You don't want to
• 52:38
  Speaker 4: keep doing the same old dumb shit year after year
• 52:42
  Speaker 4: after year. And you look back, you're in your 60s,
• 52:45
  Speaker 4: you're by yourself. No one comes to visit you. No
• 52:48
  Speaker 4: one call you. Your kids can't stand you because you're
• 52:51
  Speaker 4: a piece of shit. Like at some point in time,
• 52:53
  Speaker 4: when do you want better for your life?
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 52:57
  Speaker 4: I guess never. When they're like in their 70s in
• 53:00
  Speaker 4: a wheelchair, they need somebody to wipe their ass. But
• 53:02
  Speaker 4: it won't be me. Has anybody reached out to you
• 53:05
  Speaker 4: about being in a book? Like, why you put me
• 53:07
  Speaker 4: in a book?
• 53:07
  Speaker 3: She living with one right now.
• 53:09
  Speaker 1: She living with the next one. That's what I want
• 53:12
  Speaker 1: to know. Why you doing a show while he at work?
• 53:17
  Speaker 3: That nigga like, you trolling me in real life. Like,
• 53:19
  Speaker 3: I'm sick of your ass already, but... Uh, you better
• 53:22
  Speaker 3: make sure that paperwork right from when y'all get that divorce.
• 53:25
  Speaker 1: He fucking ready to get some money off that book. Oh,
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: he won't.
• 53:27
  Speaker 4: I already asked an attorney. I said, you know, if
• 53:30
  Speaker 4: y'all live separate and y'all are living as separated, he
• 53:34
  Speaker 4: can't get anything from the point of when y'all alienated
• 53:39
  Speaker 4: each other. So I'm like, okay, you stay in your
• 53:41
  Speaker 4: living quarters and I'll say, my, don't try to tiptoe
• 53:45
  Speaker 4: over here. They won't be none of that. That's what
• 53:48
  Speaker 4: I was about to ask.
• 53:48
  Speaker 2: You don't ever sneak and get a little because i don't.
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: Know where that's been.
• 53:55
  Speaker 4: I don't know where that's been so i don't want
• 53:57
  Speaker 4: it when you get to community services and you're delivering
• 54:02
  Speaker 4: dick i don't want none of.
• 54:03
  Speaker 3: It yeah actually we want a part-time job we got
• 54:07
  Speaker 3: doing what we talk back uber meets.
• 54:15
  Speaker 1: That's our company. Obviously, he got bomb shit, right?
• 54:21
  Speaker 3: Because y'all were dating, and he was married at that time, too,
• 54:24
  Speaker 3: if it was a whole eight-year marriage, right?
• 54:27
  Speaker 1: Or however long it was.
• 54:28
  Speaker 3: You said he was gone for eight years and then
• 54:30
  Speaker 3: came back into your life.
• 54:32
  Speaker 4: We were together. I've known him for eight years.
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: Okay, total.
• 54:35
  Speaker 4: He stayed married to her for so long that she
• 54:38
  Speaker 4: just had his pension.
• 54:39
  Speaker 1: Girl, shut up.
• 54:41
  Speaker 4: Kept her on his because he's retired from the military
• 54:44
  Speaker 4: so he kept her on his benefit yeah found out
• 54:49
  Speaker 4: he later he was paying her cell phone bill but
• 54:52
  Speaker 4: try to say he forgot she was on his plane
• 54:56
  Speaker 4: all this nonsense and now she gets half of his
• 54:59
  Speaker 4: and I think how she worked it I mean she's
• 55:02
  Speaker 4: a smart lady she was selling her house which he
• 55:07
  Speaker 4: never lived in but helped her buy And I guess
• 55:12
  Speaker 4: the deal was I'm going to sell my house. I'm
• 55:15
  Speaker 4: not giving you anything from it. And I'll go ahead
• 55:18
  Speaker 4: and give you your divorce because I know you're getting married.
• 55:21
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 55:22
  Speaker 4: And then here come paperwork. She wants half your pension.
• 55:26
  Speaker 4: So she sold her house, kept that profit and she's
• 55:28
  Speaker 4: getting half your pension.
• 55:31
  Speaker 1: Okay. How long ago were they actively like together?
• 55:35
  Speaker 4: Oh, it's been years. He's never went to like, because
• 55:39
  Speaker 4: she lives in Texas, so he's never like went to
• 55:43
  Speaker 4: visit her. He never disappeared and was gone off to
• 55:46
  Speaker 4: Texas somewhere. And I'm like, what are you doing there?
• 55:49
  Speaker 4: It was, I don't even think she really could stand him.
• 55:53
  Speaker 4: She never called. It was never a situation of she
• 55:56
  Speaker 4: called late at night and they're talking and I see
• 55:58
  Speaker 4: her number every now and then. No, they rarely talked
• 56:02
  Speaker 4: because their kids were grown. And they're mid to late 20s.
• 56:07
  Speaker 4: So she was never.
• 56:09
  Speaker 3: They just never got a divorce, basically. Because I mean,
• 56:12
  Speaker 3: a lot of black people live like that. Like my
• 56:14
  Speaker 3: mom didn't divorce my dad until maybe the month before
• 56:17
  Speaker 3: she married my stepdad.
• 56:19
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 56:20
  Speaker 1: Because she was.
• 56:20
  Speaker 4: Like, look, I got to divorce you because I'm marrying
• 56:23
  Speaker 4: somebody else. Right. But he should have.
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: He did it.
• 56:27
  Speaker 4: He did.
• 56:27
  Speaker 1: It overlapped, basically. And then he didn't initiate the divorce
• 56:31
  Speaker 1: with her.
• 56:33
  Speaker 4: Which if you wanted it that bad, you could have.
• 56:36
  Speaker 4: You had time to do it. She filed for the divorce.
• 56:39
  Speaker 4: So if she's never filed for the divorce, I'm even wondering,
• 56:44
  Speaker 4: although we got married, if she never filed for the divorce,
• 56:47
  Speaker 4: would he even had said anything? Because we were engaged
• 56:51
  Speaker 4: before when we lived in Charlotte, we were engaged two
• 56:54
  Speaker 4: times and then for cheating I was like no I'm
• 56:57
  Speaker 4: not marrying you and I left so for you to
• 56:59
  Speaker 4: come back and like let's get married I would think
• 57:01
  Speaker 4: common sense would tell you you should have taken care
• 57:03
  Speaker 4: of that situation when you had the chance the first
• 57:07
  Speaker 4: couple times that we got engaged.
• 57:10
  Speaker 2: You was engaged to that man more than once three
• 57:13
  Speaker 2: times you was engaged to him oh three times child
• 57:16
  Speaker 2: now see now you got to take some accountability.
• 57:18
  Speaker 4: Bitch I did cause remember I said now we were
• 57:22
  Speaker 4: engaged cheated I left him I was doing my thing
• 57:30
  Speaker 4: back home having a good time running with my girls,
• 57:33
  Speaker 4: my homeboys, meeting, dating, all that. And then he came
• 57:37
  Speaker 4: back and was like, I've changed. I've realized what I've lost.
• 57:41
  Speaker 4: I was miserable without you. Come to find out he
• 57:44
  Speaker 4: wasn't really that miserable because he was out here dropping
• 57:47
  Speaker 4: it low and spreading it wide. I've seen some of
• 57:54
  Speaker 4: the pictures of the chicks and I'm like, meet these
• 57:58
  Speaker 4: people i mean i i figured out now how he
• 58:02
  Speaker 4: met them because it was some people you plenty of
• 58:05
  Speaker 4: fish or something like that worse than that back page
• 58:10
  Speaker 4: it don't get no worse than back page i don't
• 58:13
  Speaker 4: even can i can we legally even say the name
• 58:15
  Speaker 4: i ain't trying look i ain't trying to get sued
• 58:17
  Speaker 4: now yeah say it had y'all ever heard of sq No.
• 58:22
  Speaker 1: Who runs that? I'm jealous. I wish I came up
• 58:25
  Speaker 1: with that.
• 58:27
  Speaker 4: Yeah, because they... Trust me, baby.
• 58:30
  Speaker 1: They get paid over there. AJ, start Escort Crocodile.
• 58:34
  Speaker 2: For men.
• 58:36
  Speaker 4: Because this is just women. So start that for women
• 58:40
  Speaker 4: that's looking for male company at night. You know, come over,
• 58:45
  Speaker 4: do business and go about your business. Basically, that's what
• 58:48
  Speaker 4: it is.
• 58:48
  Speaker 2: Online.
• 58:52
  Speaker 4: ladies of the night ordering pizza I guess you ordering
• 58:55
  Speaker 4: pussy I don't know same thing this.
• 59:00
  Speaker 3: Is wild to me so that is scary you know
• 59:04
  Speaker 3: what I'm saying because it's not like he's having intimate
• 59:06
  Speaker 3: relationships with people he's known for a long time like
• 59:08
  Speaker 3: you right right random random bitches off the internet.
• 59:13
  Speaker 4: Off the internet like scary he's high risk for sure
• 59:16
  Speaker 4: yeah and people after they read the book they're like
• 59:20
  Speaker 4: well do you think he has a problem I don't
• 59:22
  Speaker 4: I don't know I don't care I don't give.
• 59:25
  Speaker 1: A fuck does he think he has a problem no yeah.
• 59:30
  Speaker 5: Because he.
• 59:31
  Speaker 4: We know.
• 59:31
  Speaker 1: He got a problem.
• 59:34
  Speaker 2: Anytime you type in alligator for pussy, you got a problem.
• 59:39
  Speaker 4: You got a problem, sir. Anytime you have to spend money.
• 59:44
  Speaker 1: He got a lot of disposable income. Tell him we
• 59:46
  Speaker 1: trying to open a studio. Okay?
• 59:49
  Speaker 4: You know?
• 59:50
  Speaker 3: Because he not only cheating, like he paying for pussy.
• 59:53
  Speaker 3: That is a whole different level of cheating for me.
• 59:55
  Speaker 3: I might can deal with the cheating if you ain't
• 59:57
  Speaker 3: taking care of bitches.
• 59:57
  Speaker 4: Well, most men pay in some type of way.
• 59:59
  Speaker 2: I'd rather you take me out to dinner or on
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 2: a trip and you pay for it that way, but
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 2: just to order it for like $ 50 and you know.
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 4: What is.
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 1: The quality of that coochie?
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 3: That is not quality coochie for $ 50.
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 1: $ 40 coochie is not quality, okay?
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 4: That's definitely discount.
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 1: Yes. That's what I'm saying. I need that website because
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 1: the rates would definitely be higher.
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, those girls are probably on drugs and all kind
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 2: of stuff.
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 4: They don't have no self-worth. They look like it. Because,
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 4: you know, he's had pictures in his phone, little video
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 4: here and there. I guess, you know, if you're paying
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 4: for it, they let you record them or whatever. And
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 4: I'm like, where did you meet these people?
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 1: Did you see a condom in the video?
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 4: No. It may have surfaced later, but at the point
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 4: of these videos, yeah, she may have put it on
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 4: with her mouth later, but at that moment, no.
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 1: This is a bit much. I'm scared.
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 4: Imagine living it and you finding these things as you
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 4: go and it's like one thing after another after another
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 4: and you're like, it's the shock of it all for
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 4: me as well. Like I, we bought a house. Like
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 4: I thought we were going to have this life and
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 4: come to find out you are a fucking devil in disguise.
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 4: Like I feel hoodwinked. You bamboozled me for months. And
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 4: now that, you know, I wrote a book and people
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 4: are finding out now you want to be the embarrassed one. You, you're, you're,
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 4: you're worried about how people are going to think about you,
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 4: what they're going to say. And, And now you're concerned
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 4: with your kids finding out. But none of that was
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 4: a concern when you was out here, you know, fucking
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 4: in your car or going to some trick house. None
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 4: of that.
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 1: Well, whole house because he the trick. Oh, yeah.
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 3: So for me, being able to just talk about my
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 3: bullshit with people, that is how I get relief from
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 3: stupid bitch shit, right? But like writing a book, like
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 3: how was it for you to have to relive these things?
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 1: Or, you know, was it therapeutic to get it out?
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 4: I thought it would be therapeutic to get it out.
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 4: But when you sit, because it actually started, like I
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 4: started with my childhood because I was like, maybe, I
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 4: don't know if y'all know any West Indian people. have
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 4: any West Indian friends and you know their parents raised
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 4: them a little stern we're raised a little different you're
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 4: from Barbados right yes yes and I don't know if
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 4: being raised the way and being raised in the household
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 4: I was raised in if that played a part in
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 4: looking for the love that you see on TV like
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 4: you know he's not a good example to use these
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 4: days but like the Cliff Huxtable you know, with Claire
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 4: and their loving relationship and dancing and listening to music and,
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 4: you know, raising kids together. You want that when you
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 4: don't have it. And so the book starts with that, like,
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 4: you know, childhood and a little bit of dating in
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 4: school and then it goes into the adult relationship. So
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 4: when you have to sit and think about things that
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 4: sometimes your brain wants you to forget, it can get
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 4: a little traumatic sometimes. And then at one point in
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 4: time when I was writing it, when I got to
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 4: this situation, I even said to myself, like, you were
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 4: dumb as shit. You put up with, you let that
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 4: man do more than he should have. You gave him
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 4: entirely too much grace. And you forgave entirely too much.
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 4: And I even told him, I said, I think I
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 4: forgave you so much that you just didn't know how
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 4: to stop. It's like a kid. You keep giving them candy.
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 4: They're going to keep eating it.
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 1: That's why you got to beat their ass the first time.
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 4: And I thought, I thought when I beat his ass
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 4: the first time and left him that he, he learned
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 4: his lesson. He learned his lesson. I mean, and, and, and,
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 4: and actually literally like I, I put fist to face
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 4: with him and, one morning because I read some text
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 4: between him and a co-worker and one thing if you're
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 4: going to cheat and talk to chicks and even talk
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 4: to chicks at work that's one thing but when you
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 4: talk bad about.
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 3: Me not even talking with the side bitches yeah at
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 3: what point do we hold other women accountable because I
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 3: know they know he was married you know what I'm
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 3: saying like if you know this nigga only calling you
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 3: remember we did a live show Tammy right and the
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 3: girl in the front row, and she was talking. Now,
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 3: your homegirl looked this man up and found out he
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 3: was married, right? What was going on in both you
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 3: and your homegirl's mind to even make y'all start snooping
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 3: about this man? It had to have been something. He's
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 3: calling you in the car. You only talked to him
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 3: certain hours. Women be fucking knowing, and that's why I
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 3: don't have no empathy for you.
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 1: I don't have no empathy.
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 3: For women because we know when a nigga fucked up,
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 3: and you continue on.
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 4: And you ain't never been to the house.
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 1: Exactly.
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 3: The home wrecker is the motherfucker that's in the home.
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 3: But bitch, you have some accountability in this too. Because
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 3: you know that man is married and in a relationship
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 3: with somebody else. But women always willing to compete. Like
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 3: they think that their pussy is gold somehow.
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 1: It's just attached to somebody else. That's all.
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 4: And they want to listen to when the man, like,
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 4: I'm not happy with her. She don't do this. You know,
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 4: back in the day, the thing was, well, I'm staying
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 4: for the kids. Your kids are 30 and 40. Who
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 4: are you staying for? Who are you staying for? And
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 4: then you have... I have friends that parents marry 40
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 4: years and now they're getting a divorce because they're looking
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 4: at each other now and they're like, I don't even
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 4: like you. I don't like you either, man. So now
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 4: they're breaking up. They're separating. I just feel like some people...
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 4: They want to believe that they're better than you. So
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 4: they believe when he's telling you, I don't want to
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 4: share shit. I'm not sexually. That's what he told the girl.
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 4: I'm not sexually attracted to her.
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 3: If you're talking shit about your ex, I'm not fucking
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 3: with you because you're going.
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 1: To do the same thing to me.
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 4: And she's all like, I don't know how women let
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 4: themselves go. I don't let themselves go, baby. Have you
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 4: seen me?
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 1: I know, because you look gorgeous. Okay, let's be very clear.
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 1: Thank you.
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 4: Yeah, because people ask me often, like, how in the
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 4: fuck did he cheat on you? Like, I don't know, right?
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it don't never have anything to do with looks.
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 3: I got a friend of mine, like, anytime she gets
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 3: into some shit with a nigga, she always like, like,
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 3: you should have seen this bitch. She don't look nothing
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 3: like me, but it don't have nothing to do with looks. Like,
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 3: you comparing looks, like, you downing this other woman when.
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 1: Really, it's your nigga.
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying? It's him. You comparing yourself
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 1: to this other woman.
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 4: I feel like some people, not even just men or women,
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 4: some people, both, they're so hard on themselves and the
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 4: way they look in their bodies and all that, that
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 4: they can't believe that this person wants them. So it's
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 4: like they mess up. on purpose just to see maybe
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 4: if this person really is going to stay, are they
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 4: going to leave? And if you leave them, then it's like,
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 4: I knew you didn't really love me.
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 1: Self-sabotage.
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 4: Yes. And I believe some people don't know how to
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 4: live outside of being toxic. Like they have to have
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 4: it somewhere in their life where something's just not right.
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 1: I agree.
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 3: We talk about that. That's six level language toxicity. Some
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 3: people thrive in it.
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 4: They thrive in it. They want to stay in it.
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 4: They don't know how to get out of it. When
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 4: you try to help them get out of it, now
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 4: you're the problem. I just want to get back to
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 4: the South and watch my little, my grandbaby grow and
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 4: have my little grandbaby and have peace and start dating again.
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 4: cautiously I know that's right now we.
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 2: Have a segment called dumb bitch story right Where you
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 2: tell a story, but I don't know if you even
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 2: need to tell one after this shit.
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 1: This is a dumb bitch episode.
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 4: You are so dumb. You are really dumb. For real. Look,
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 4: let me go into the archives and pick one because it's, yeah.
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah, tell us a time where you're the dumbest bitch. Like,
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 3: a particular situation.
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 2: All right, hold on. We're going to go to commercial.
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 2: So I'm going to give you a chance to think
• 1:08:59
  Speaker 2: about it. And we're going to go to commercial.
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 4: And you tell us when we come back.
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 1: Dumb bitch stories.
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 4: You are so dumb.
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 2: Because we've all been a dumb bitch at least once
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 2: or twice.
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 4: Okay, so y'all can tell me if this is good
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 4: enough or not. So we moved into a house. We
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 4: weren't getting along. And one day when he went to
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 4: take a shower because he worked at night, I unlocked,
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 4: he had two vehicles. I unlocked the one that he
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 4: would leave at home. You know how you have your
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 4: runaround car and then you have your going out car.
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 4: So he would take his little runaround car to work
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 4: and leave his going out car. So he would, but
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 4: he kept his keys on. One night I unlocked the
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 4: doors while he was in the shower, put the key back,
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 4: waited until he left and went through his car and
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 4: found a condom. And I sent him a picture of
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 4: it and was like, you, you know, have running around here.
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 4: You got doing whatever. Why would you need a condom?
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 4: We don't use them. And he going to tell me
• 1:09:59
  Speaker 4: whatever you found in my car, you put there. That
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 4: was first thing. And then try to tell me what
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 4: I bought it on purpose so that you could see it.
• 1:10:10
  Speaker 4: And then I was like, so you bought one condom.
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 4: So they sell one, one condom. Yeah, I bought one.
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 4: I said, that ain't a Lucy. It ain't a loose cigarette.
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 1: It ain't a loose cigarette.
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 4: You can't buy one condom.
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 1: I said, okay.
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 4: And stayed with him even after finding the condom in
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 4: his car. Yeah. It wasn't long after that, though, that
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 4: I did leave him, but I stayed even after finding that. Like,
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 4: I've never found a chick in his house or anything
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 4: like that because at some point in time, we did
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 4: live separately a couple of times. Never went over there
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 4: and there was a chick over there. But yep, found
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 4: a condom. One condom. The first time I found out
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 4: he cheated on me, he came home from going out
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 4: of town with the box. Came back and I said,
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 4: and then tried to tell me I'm holding them for
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 4: a friend, nigga.
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 1: That's always a lie, right?
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 4: Yeah. But how do you hold condoms for a friend
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 4: at 46, 47? I said, so what friend is more
• 1:11:13
  Speaker 4: important to you than your relationship? Because there's one missing.
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 1: He's like a condom vending machine. Well, at least.
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 4: He's using them. And why do you need to hold
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 4: it for him?
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 2: Why he can't hold his own condoms?
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 4: I'm confused as to why you need to hold them
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 4: for him. That's why that excuse even came out your mouth. Like,
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 4: do you know how dumb you sound right now? You're
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 4: holding condoms for a friend, but you have a girlfriend,
• 1:11:36
  Speaker 4: you know what? So, yeah, those were both. They're probably more,
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 4: but those would be. Finding the condoms part is real
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 4: dumb as shit.
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 1: Like, girl.
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 4: Shame.
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 1: This was not that long ago. This might have been
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 1: earlier this year, child.
• 1:11:50
  Speaker 3: The guy who I was dating came home, and I
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 3: was at his house, and we were about to go
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 3: out to eat. But he had, like, not unpacked his
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 3: bag from being out. Big, dumb box full of condoms
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 3: in that fucking suitcase. And I just, look, I ain't
• 1:12:03
  Speaker 3: even seen it. But, yeah, like, no, nigga, you was
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 3: out of town smashing a lot.
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 1: Open box of condoms.
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 4: Did you look to see how many were missing?
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 3: Nah, I didn't even say nothing about it until months later. Because,
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 3: you know, listen, just in case you catch me on
• 1:12:17
  Speaker 3: some ho shit, I ain't saying nothing about your ho shit.
• 1:12:20
  Speaker 4: Because y'all wasn't like together together, right?
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 1: No, uh-uh.
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 3: But still, we definitely was having sex without a condom.
• 1:12:26
  Speaker 3: So I'm just happy to see him fucking somebody else
• 1:12:29
  Speaker 3: with one.
• 1:12:29
  Speaker 4: With one, yeah.
• 1:12:30
  Speaker 1: So I was just tripping for real.
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 4: I would make him use it with me too after that.
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 4: That shocked the shit out of him. I'm like, you
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 4: have any condoms? That stopped him right in mid-motion.
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 1: Like, what?
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 4: Pull one of those out that box you got. And
• 1:12:44
  Speaker 4: your suitcase. Right. When they be like, I don't have it.
• 1:12:49
  Speaker 3: Well, you got like 40 in that box over there.
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 1: I want to know, what are you doing now to heal?
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 1: Because I asked you about the book.
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 3: You said that really wasn't how, it wasn't really that
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 3: therapeutic for you, you know, having to relive the thing.
• 1:13:03
  Speaker 3: So what are some of the things you're doing to
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 3: heal so our listeners are no because i'm pretty you're
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 3: not the only person that went through all this dumb
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 3: bitch shit we we've been through not as extensive but
• 1:13:12
  Speaker 3: i had.
• 1:13:16
  Speaker 4: To sit and first i had to figure out what
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 4: i wanted um because unfortunately some people that go through
• 1:13:23
  Speaker 4: these things they don't some of them don't want to
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 4: Or don't know how to get out of it. And
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 4: not just physically or financially. Emotionally and mentally. Because you're like.
• 1:13:37
  Speaker 4: You're thinking about what's next. What's out there. Well if
• 1:13:40
  Speaker 4: I leave him then what. And then you start. Sadly
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 4: enough thinking about. Well I don't want him to be
• 1:13:47
  Speaker 4: with someone else. Now I didn't think that. I was
• 1:13:49
  Speaker 4: like please let him be with somebody else. Because she's
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 4: going to be miserable as fuck. But for me it was.
• 1:13:57
  Speaker 4: How do you move on? Like, how do you put
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 4: the pieces together? What do you do now? We had
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 4: a dog. We have a house. My daughter, this was
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 4: her first year out here as far as the school.
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 4: And she had behavioral issues and problems in school. And
• 1:14:14
  Speaker 4: I wanted to offer her the stability of going to
• 1:14:18
  Speaker 4: like the same school and not different schools every year
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 4: like she's been doing. So then I'm like, damn, like,
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 4: what do I do? and I was just like you
• 1:14:29
  Speaker 4: know what I can't live unhappy when he's not home
• 1:14:34
  Speaker 4: you're wondering who he's with what he's doing how long
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 4: he gonna be there if he comes home two hours
• 1:14:41
  Speaker 4: after he left you're like oh he must have been
• 1:14:43
  Speaker 4: with somebody else he leaves out with you know cologne
• 1:14:46
  Speaker 4: smelling good and his clothes on you're like oh okay
• 1:14:50
  Speaker 4: so you still out here living your life I can't
• 1:14:52
  Speaker 4: live like that So even if it means starting over
• 1:14:56
  Speaker 4: and you're alone for a little bit, I'd rather have
• 1:14:59
  Speaker 4: that than my mind betraying me and thinking things. And,
• 1:15:04
  Speaker 4: you know, your mind can turn against you when you're
• 1:15:07
  Speaker 4: already in a state and you're thinking about what someone
• 1:15:11
  Speaker 4: else is doing, what they could be doing. Like you
• 1:15:15
  Speaker 4: are capable of breaking yourself apart. The other person did
• 1:15:19
  Speaker 4: what they did, but the after effect of it is
• 1:15:24
  Speaker 4: on you. So I had to start thinking about myself
• 1:15:28
  Speaker 4: when I found out my daughter was pregnant. And it's
• 1:15:31
  Speaker 4: funny because I found out from Amazon because she ordered
• 1:15:34
  Speaker 4: some prenatal pills and they sent the notification that they
• 1:15:38
  Speaker 4: were having trouble making her delivery. And I called her like,
• 1:15:41
  Speaker 4: is there something you want to tell me? And she
• 1:15:43
  Speaker 4: was like, why are you asking me that? I said,
• 1:15:45
  Speaker 4: because Amazon is trying to get you your prenatal pills.
• 1:15:48
  Speaker 4: And they can't get them to you. You're pregnant, girl.
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 4: She was like, she started laughing. And I may be.
• 1:15:54
  Speaker 4: And she went into all that. So I'm like, oh,
• 1:15:57
  Speaker 4: this is definitely the sign I needed that something better
• 1:16:01
  Speaker 4: is coming. I didn't want to sell my house. That
• 1:16:04
  Speaker 4: wasn't in the plan. And I had to tell myself
• 1:16:08
  Speaker 4: with that as well. Like sometimes your plans aren't your plan.
• 1:16:12
  Speaker 4: They're not the plans God has for you. And when
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 4: this happened, I felt. you know, a little shake in
• 1:16:19
  Speaker 4: the earth because I'm like, well, how, what do I do?
• 1:16:21
  Speaker 4: How do I move on? And I prayed and I
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 4: said to God, you must have a purpose for me.
• 1:16:29
  Speaker 4: I'm going to keep pushing on until that purpose is revealed.
• 1:16:32
  Speaker 4: I put my house on the market, called my real
• 1:16:36
  Speaker 4: estate agent, like, look, how can I, how much can
• 1:16:40
  Speaker 4: we get for this house? She came over. She's looking around.
• 1:16:44
  Speaker 4: She's like, you sure you want to sell it? I'm like,
• 1:16:47
  Speaker 4: I don't have a choice. I need all ties cut.
• 1:16:51
  Speaker 4: Talk to different attorneys. Maryland law, Pennsylvania law, totally different.
• 1:16:57
  Speaker 4: Pennsylvania considers us married. So I have to file for
• 1:17:01
  Speaker 4: divorce here. Maryland considers us and considers it bigamy. So
• 1:17:06
  Speaker 4: I will have I can file for an annulment and
• 1:17:08
  Speaker 4: they avoid the marriage. It's a whole mess. So I'm like, okay,
• 1:17:11
  Speaker 4: I'm going to sell this house. And then we won't
• 1:17:14
  Speaker 4: have property in Pennsylvania. And then I can file for
• 1:17:17
  Speaker 4: my NOMA in Maryland. So I repurposed the plan. I
• 1:17:22
  Speaker 4: changed it. And the plan is probably only for like
• 1:17:26
  Speaker 4: this month and this month, this month. Because sometimes we
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 4: make a plan for four, five, six years. You ever
• 1:17:31
  Speaker 4: meet someone and they're like, what's your plan for the
• 1:17:34
  Speaker 4: next five years? It's okay not to have one.
• 1:17:37
  Speaker 3: Oh, my homegirl just asked me that the other day.
• 1:17:39
  Speaker 1: And I was like, girl, I don't know. I don't know.
• 1:17:43
  Speaker 1: Five years is just.
• 1:17:44
  Speaker 4: You know. Yeah, a lot can happen.
• 1:17:46
  Speaker 1: COVID is anything. Let's worry about the present.
• 1:17:48
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Let's worry about today and tomorrow and the weekend.
• 1:17:53
  Speaker 4: And let's tackle that. So once I, you know, revamped
• 1:17:59
  Speaker 4: the plan, I started to feel better. And every day
• 1:18:02
  Speaker 4: is not a good day. Some days don't. my mind
• 1:18:05
  Speaker 4: reminds me of the dumb shit and where I am
• 1:18:10
  Speaker 4: and how I got here. But when, you know, I
• 1:18:14
  Speaker 4: stopped trying to plan everything and make everything go my
• 1:18:20
  Speaker 4: way or stop trying to figure out how I got here. Yeah,
• 1:18:25
  Speaker 4: when you just let it go, it's like a calm
• 1:18:29
  Speaker 4: comes and you're like, okay, This is what I need
• 1:18:32
  Speaker 4: to do. You're down for a little bit.
• 1:18:34
  Speaker 1: You're crying.
• 1:18:34
  Speaker 4: You're depressed. I can't go on. I don't want to live.
• 1:18:37
  Speaker 4: All that stuff comes into play. But at some point
• 1:18:40
  Speaker 4: in time, you got like, look, you've cried. You've been sad.
• 1:18:43
  Speaker 4: You've been deprived what are you going to do now
• 1:18:47
  Speaker 4: you you have to get up and you have to
• 1:18:49
  Speaker 4: do something and my something was okay house on the
• 1:18:53
  Speaker 4: market get a profit from that move back to the
• 1:18:56
  Speaker 4: south help my daughter with my first grandbaby maybe open
• 1:19:00
  Speaker 4: a couple businesses I have my aesthetics license maybe get
• 1:19:04
  Speaker 4: back into that I'll work I can retire in January
• 1:19:08
  Speaker 4: like a lot of things I'm preparing for that don't
• 1:19:12
  Speaker 4: include him.
• 1:19:14
  Speaker 3: Period okay absolutely absolutely y'all.
• 1:19:22
  Speaker 1: Cop the book okay how I married A bigamist. Hey,
• 1:19:27
  Speaker 1: there it goes, y'all.
• 1:19:29
  Speaker 3: It's going to be New York Times bestseller.
• 1:19:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah, from your lips to God's ears. Where can you
• 1:19:34
  Speaker 4: find the book? Tell them where they can find your
• 1:19:35
  Speaker 4: book at. So you can order my book on my website, thecreativebaldgirl.com.
• 1:19:42
  Speaker 4: Traditional spelling of all the words. No Y in girl,
• 1:19:48
  Speaker 4: just thecreativebaldgirl.com.
• 1:19:53
  Speaker 1: All right. Wait, hold on.
• 1:19:54
  Speaker 3: Let our listeners know wherever they can reach you at Instagram, Twitter, whatever.
• 1:20:00
  Speaker 4: Yes. Follow me on Tik TOK, Instagram, Facebook. The creative
• 1:20:04
  Speaker 4: ball girl is my, my username on all of them.
• 1:20:09
  Speaker 4: Follow me on Tik TOK because I hear Tik TOK
• 1:20:11
  Speaker 4: is the thing now and I need them Tik TOK checks, honey.
• 1:20:15
  Speaker 4: I need them thousands, honey. So follow me on Tik TOK.
• 1:20:20
  Speaker 4: I'm going to start hopefully doing content. People say, girl,
• 1:20:23
  Speaker 4: you got to give the people some content. Get some followers. Okay,
• 1:20:27
  Speaker 4: I'm going to try. I'm going to try. I got some,
• 1:20:29
  Speaker 4: you know, doing my little content calendar and stuff. And, yeah,
• 1:20:33
  Speaker 4: trying to get in some bookstores, some local Black-owned bookstores,
• 1:20:38
  Speaker 4: do some book tours. You know, y'all probably see me
• 1:20:42
  Speaker 4: walking around Charlotte.
• 1:20:43
  Speaker 1: Hey, y'all. Hey, girl. I have arrived.
• 1:20:49
  Speaker 4: I'm back, darling. Period. I love it.
• 1:20:52
  Speaker 1: All right, y'all. Thank you so much, Sean, for joining me.
• 1:20:57
  Speaker 1: Thank you. That was great.
• 1:20:59
  Speaker 4: That was great.
• 1:20:59
  Speaker 1: All right, y'all.
• 1:21:00
  Speaker 3: Listen, so if you enjoyed this episode and all the
• 1:21:02
  Speaker 3: dumb bitch shit, y'all tune in.
• 1:21:04
  Speaker 1: Every Thursday on the iHeartRadio app. Where the fuck you
• 1:21:08
  Speaker 1: get your podcast at? This is your co-host AJ Holiday 2.0.
• 1:21:12
  Speaker 1: Y'all follow me now if you want to get on.
• 1:21:14
  Speaker 1: What's up, Tam?
• 1:21:15
  Speaker 4: Y'all, it's Official Tambam. I love y'all. Thank y'all for
• 1:21:17
  Speaker 4: tuning in. Remember to speak now.
• 1:21:19
  Speaker 3: And never hold them niggas. Okay, girl, get the fuck
• 1:21:22
  Speaker 3: up out of there early and soon.
• 1:21:23
  Speaker 1: Y'all have a good day. God bless you.