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To All Things There Is A Season · Have A Little Faith with Delilah

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hello, my friend. Hello, Welcome to the season of gratitude,
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: the season of Thanksgiving, the season where we celebrate Thanksgiving.
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: But really we should be celebrating Thanksgiving and gratitude. I
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: think all year long. I think year round, we should
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: be celebrating the season of Thanksgiving. To everything. There is
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: a season and a time for every purpose under heavens.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: Have you ever heard that. There's a song that came
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: out I think in the sixties, Turn Turn, Turn, and
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: it talks about it's actually straight from scriptures for everything
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: It's a reflection on the natural rhythm, the natural cycles
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: of life. Every thing, everything has its appointed time, a
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: time to be born, a time to die, a time
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: to plant, a time to harvest. There's a time for sorrow,
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: there's a time for joy. Our problem is we like
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: to think we're in control of those seasons. By now,
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: I'm sure you've seen the footage of Hurricane what is
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: it Melissa hitting Jamaica two hundred and forty mile an hour. Wins.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: There is no way to control or redirect storms like that,
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: And in the same way, we don't get to control
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: or redirect or decide when these seasons are going to
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: happen in our life. That is up to the Almighty.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: That's what my belief teaches me shows me, is that
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: it's the Lord that orchestrates the seasons, both literally and spiritually.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: There is a time to fall in love. For some people,
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: they are meant to be a couple. They desire from childhood,
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: from early adulthood, they long to be connected with another
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: human being. There is a time to be a couple.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: There is a time to start a family. There is
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: a time to move to let your career take priority.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: There's a time for all these things, and when we
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: try to force them, it usually doesn't end well. But
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: when we trust in God's timing, Oh my word, everything unfolds.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: When we trust in the timing of the Almighty. When
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: we can rest in knowing that his plan is probably
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: better than our plan and we should let it unfold,
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: miracles happen up. First in our podcast today, we're going
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: to talk to Hannah. Hannah is an example of learning patients.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: Hannah is in a beautiful relationship. She's recently become engaged,
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: and she is having such a hard time understanding the
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: season that her fiance is in right now. She is
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: in the season of let's talk, let's talk, let's see
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: each other, let's plan everything, and he's in the season
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: of slow down. I gotta get through school first. Let's
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: let Hannah tell her story and let's listen to her
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: and help her navigate the season that they are going through. Hi,
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: good evening. You've called it Elilah show. Who is this?
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, I can't believe you answer.
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: This is Hannah.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: Hi, Hannah, welcome aboard. What can I do to add
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: a note of joy to your night?
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: Well?
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: I grew up listening to you, first of all, and
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: I haven't listened to you in probably almost ten years,
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: so it's been a long time.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: How did you find your way home to me?
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: Hannah on the way back from a road trip. And
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: my fiance Zachary listens to you as well, and it's
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: kind of like been a nighttime thing for us, and
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: it's we always find you very soothing for the soul.
• 4:33
  Speaker 4: So thank you very.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: Much for that. So tell me about this man that
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: you love.
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: So we are engaged right now. I've been with him
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: for three years. He's the love of my life. One
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: of those things that kind of when you stay patient
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: and you pray, it kind of comes out of nowhere.
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: So my advice is to just stay patient and trust
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: God's timing because it kind of came out of nowhere.
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: He's actually the brother of my best friend's boyfriend and
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: now fiance too.
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: So so you and your best friend are marrying brothers.
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and we're now going to be sisters in law.
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: So it's a crazy story. We were friends and I
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: never would have seen it coming in a million years,
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: but I knew right away that you know, he was
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: a one, and yeah, it was. This story is just insane, but.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: This story is so sweet.
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So and now we're we got engaged in December
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: and Washington, d C. Which is a place where we
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: went years ago as friends and quote unquote fell in
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: love with each other, but stage friends. So we just
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: got engaged there in December, and now we're planning our wedding.
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: So we'll get married here in South Jersey.
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: So when are you getting married?
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: So we got engaged in December and the weddings in
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: two years, so we wanted time. I just graduated with
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: my master's in social work and I'm a full time
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: preschool teacher this year.
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: With two year olds.
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: So I'm very busy, and he's back in school and
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: he's very busy. So we're doing life and juggling a
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: lot of things, and so we wanted to plan it out.
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: And we still both live at home and are working
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: and doing a lot of stuff.
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: Hanna, this is like a Hallmark movie. You realize that
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: the school teacher, social worker loves children, the cute guy
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: whose brother is marrying her best this is like a
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: Hallmark Christmas movie. We just need to throw in like
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: a mean evil like landlord or something who tries to
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: stop the two happy couples, and then love wins and
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: triumphs and you go on a sleigh ride off into
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: the sunset.
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: It was funny because I did call tonight for some
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: advice because we don't often argue, but tonight we got
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: in a little spat and I finally said I was
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: gonna let him calm down.
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: And give him space.
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: And I never I never give space then, So it's
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: funny because I was an independent girl in my whole
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: life until I met him. So I was like, maybe
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: she you know, she's the one to go to advice
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: for because I always just pray. But I was like,
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: maybe I'll try Delilah.
• 7:24
  Speaker 3: So it's definitely God brought me.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: Here well only for me to say you were on
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: the right track and you need to pray. I was
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: never when I was young, the kind of person that
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: could give anybody space. My husband will say things like,
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: can we not have this conversation right now because you're
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: angry and I'm tired, and can we just put it
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: to rest and then we'll pick it up later when
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: when I'm rested in what what do you mean put
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: it to rest? We're not gonna put it to rest
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: because I got to talk this thing through right now.
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: It doesn't work very well. Yeah, so can I ask
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: what the little spat was about?
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: We just, you know, we're both very busy in life
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: right now, and he's doing five classes. He's in school
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: for managerial accounting, which is a very tough degree, and
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: he has a very tough course load, and I'm working
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: full time, so we're both juggling a lot. So it's
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: hard to find time for each other right now in
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: this season and now starting the wedding plan. So I
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: guess figuring out time for each other and seeing eye
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: to eye on the little things, but I guess it's
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: hard to you know, you got to learn to focus
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: less on that, always agreeing on the little thing.
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: Hannah, have you ever been around a garden, have you
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: ever grown a garden, or have you ever known anyone
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: that grew a garden, a flower garden or a vegetable garden.
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: I do love nature and gardens, but I've never grown
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: one because I still live at home. So it's an
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: aspiration to have one one day.
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: Okay, but you said South Jersey, right, yes, garden capital
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: of the world, best tomatoes, best corn ever.
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: M hm.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: So does your mom, or your grandma, or your neighbor,
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: anybody garden and raise things.
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: My next door neighbor actually when they give us wonderful tomatoes.
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: Okay, So if you were to look in your next
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: door neighbor's yard right now, I guarantee you her garden
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: does not look spectacular, and in two months it really
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: won't look spectacular because for everything, there is a season,
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: and fall and winter are a season that for those
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: of us that love to garden look to other people
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: like there's something wrong. There's not. The earth is resting,
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: The earth is resting, and the leaves are falling, providing
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: nutrients for the ground, for the dirt, for the worms,
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: for everything we need for the garden we're going to
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: plant next spring. But for everything there is a season
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: and a time for every purpose under heaven. And right now,
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: while he finishes up this degree so that he can
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: have a life with you in the future, it is
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: not the time to go out and pick tomatoes. You
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: can't say, but I need tomatoes now, the garden says,
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry, it's tomato season's over. Right now is the
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: time that the ground is preparing for next spring when
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: you plant tomatoes again. So right now while he is preparing.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: Do you know in the Old Testament, I've heard you
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: mentioned God more than once in the Old Testament when
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: a couple got engaged the wedding feast whereen Jesus turned
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: the water into wine. That whole story is so precious
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: because the man would go ask the woman to be
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: his wife, and then he would withdraw from her for
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: a year or more, because he would go prepare their home,
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: their future home. And when his father said it is
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: time the home is done. My son is a man.
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: He has done what he set out to accomplish. He
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: can care for his bride the father of the groom
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: would be the one to determine when the wedding feast was.
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: But she didn't see him during that time, right because
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: it was a season of preparation. You probably see him
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: or text him every day for the most part, and
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: you're thinking that's not enough.
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: Well, it's funny because it was not like this in
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: the beginning. And you know, it gets almost, in my opinion,
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: worse as time goes.
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: By, gets worse as far as the time he has
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: for you or.
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: No, no, no, I'm saying, like wanting to see them more.
• 11:48
  Speaker 5: Because you're in love and you thrilled to see him.
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: So he is either busy for one of two reasons.
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: Either he is emotionally unavailable, in which case you should
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: not marry him, or he is preparing to be your
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: husband and he is hyper focusing on what he's got
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: to get done, in which case you should understand that
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: and recognize that this is for your future.
• 12:20
  Speaker 3: Thank you. That was a good metaphor. I liked that one.
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: I've never heard that one.
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: You guys are going to be fine. I suspect you
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: will have a beautiful wedding.
• 12:32
  Speaker 4: Thank you.
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: Remember, weddings are just weddings, it's the marriage that counts.
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: A wedding is an event, a marriage is a covenant.
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: So focus on the covenant, the promises, the being available
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: to one another, the respect, the cherishing, and don't worry
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: about wedding plans right now. Your mom will figure that
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: that part out.
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: She's already starting.
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: Of course she is. Of course she is. That's funny, you,
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: my friend, have a beautiful night. Thank you for calling.
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: Can I say a prayer for you?
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: Yes? And may I give you a song too. It's
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: actually going to be our first dance, if that's okay?
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: Yes, what song? And by me, Benny King, I will
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: play that for you. Now, let me say a prayer
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: for you, Father God. I thank you Lord. I thank
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: you for Hannah getting through on the phones. I thank
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: you that it was first time tonight she got through.
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: I thank you God for bringing this beautiful young man
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: into her life. I thank you that she and her
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: friend will be sisters in law. That's almost as wonderful
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: of a gift as the fact that you brought her
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: such a wonderful man. I thank you God that he
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: has focused, that he is trying to complete his degree,
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: that he's not out partying, that he's not losing focus,
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: that he's not wasting his time and money, but that
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: he's focused and wants to finish this chapter in life,
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: the season in life, so that he can provide for
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: his wife and his family. I pray, Lord God, that
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: you would give Hannah patience. Don't give her lessons to
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: teach her patients. God, just supernaturally reach down from on
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: high and just put patience into her young heart. Let
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: her know, Lord God, that for everything there is a
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: time and a purpose, and you're working everything out. Father.
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: I pray these two would have a lifetime of love,
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: a lifetime of joy, that their covenant would be strong,
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: and that your Holy Spirit would see them through everything. Father,
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: when the days are dark, when the trials and tribulations hit,
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: when grief hits or sadness, I pray you would sustain
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: them and make their love all the stronger. I asked
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: them in your precious and holy name. Amen.
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: Amen, thank you so much.
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: You have a blast night.
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: You too, honey, God bless you. You just heard from Hannah,
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: who's engaged in planning her future. Up next, we're going
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: to hear from Logan. Logan was planning his future, built
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: his life around someone, planned every day to spend with
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: this someone, and now they exited stage right they said, yeah,
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: I was only kidding. That's not my plan. Let's listen
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: to Logan's story and see if we can help him
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: through this season of grief. This is Logan, Hi, Logan, welcome.
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: What can I do for you on this autumn night.
• 15:52
  Speaker 4: I've been a lifetime listener of your show.
• 15:54
  Speaker 6: I remember found it finding you when I was maybe
• 15:58
  Speaker 6: like sixth listening to the radio and going to bed
• 16:01
  Speaker 6: to your show every night. And I recently last weekend,
• 16:06
  Speaker 6: was broken up with for the first time, and I
• 16:11
  Speaker 6: found myself looking for some guidance or just some way
• 16:17
  Speaker 6: to understand how you can feel so fulfilled by somebody
• 16:23
  Speaker 6: and so loved and then and then it just it's
• 16:27
  Speaker 6: gone in one second. I met this person when I
• 16:33
  Speaker 6: moved to a new city last year. Six days after
• 16:38
  Speaker 6: I moved here, I met him, and I so just
• 16:43
  Speaker 6: my whole life in the city has been defined by
• 16:46
  Speaker 6: time that I've spent with this one person. And now
• 16:48
  Speaker 6: I just feel so lost and I'm unsure of what
• 16:53
  Speaker 6: of how I can make myself feel at home here
• 16:56
  Speaker 6: without the person that felt like home.
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: This is like, this is like a three hour movie
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: script here, Logan, that you're describing, you realize this is
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: like every song Adele ever recorded, right, Maybe Adele and
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: Elton and Selene all wrapped up. Yeah, So how old
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: are you?
• 17:19
  Speaker 4: I'm twenty three.
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: And this is your first true love, first big heartbreak.
• 17:24
  Speaker 5: Yes?
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: And was there fight, disagreement, stress, a breakdown and communication
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: leading up to the breakup?
• 17:35
  Speaker 4: I want to say no.
• 17:37
  Speaker 6: It was a situation where I felt like everything was
• 17:42
  Speaker 6: great all the time.
• 17:45
  Speaker 4: And maybe that was me not being able.
• 17:48
  Speaker 6: To voice when I felt frustrated for fear of confrontation
• 17:54
  Speaker 6: and fallout, but.
• 17:58
  Speaker 4: It felt like everything was good.
• 18:00
  Speaker 6: In fact, happened unexpectedly in the middle of a date
• 18:04
  Speaker 6: that I had planned with the caveat that.
• 18:07
  Speaker 4: I don't think that he had expected it to happen either.
• 18:09
  Speaker 6: It just kind of happened, And it was like one
• 18:12
  Speaker 6: of those breakups that's like on good terms, like I'm.
• 18:15
  Speaker 4: Nothing but love and respect, but it's hard to.
• 18:18
  Speaker 6: Like, like I almost wish that I could be upset more.
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: How do you accidentally break up? Logan? I don't know.
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: When you love somebody and they are your home and
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: you've built your world around them and then they say, oh,
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: never mind, I don't want this life that we've built
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: around each other. How does that happen? Accidentally?
• 18:42
  Speaker 4: I think maybe I just didn't see the signs.
• 18:47
  Speaker 6: I mean, he just got his master's degree and he's
• 18:50
  Speaker 6: not sure what's next in his life. So I could
• 18:53
  Speaker 6: see that maybe he didn't know how to envision the
• 18:56
  Speaker 6: future with me, if he couldn't even envision his own,
• 19:00
  Speaker 6: I thought that I could be there.
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: Okay, we're talking apples and oranges here. A career, a profession,
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: choice of where you want to settle down. Those are
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: things you work out with the person that you're building
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: your life with, not by yourself, and then you say,
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: oh bye the bye h. That's that's what human relationships are.
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: It's give and take and compromise and let's figure this
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: out together. That's when you if you're all in, you're
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: all in. It sounds like you were all in and
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: he led you to believe he was all in, but
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: he wasn't in at all. Yeah, you were all in.
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: You were one hundred percent. This is my person, this
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: is who I want to, you know, be on a
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: front porch, sipping tea in a rocking chair one day
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: and you thought that he had the same tensions a
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: need didn't have those intentions at all. If he can
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: accidentally break up with you, oh, let's go on a date,
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: and by the way, I'm thinking I might move on
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: down the highway of life without you by my side.
• 20:13
  Speaker 6: You're right, and I feel like I deserve to be
• 20:16
  Speaker 6: prioritized in the same way that I prioritize others.
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: You do when you're in a relationship that is an adult, committed,
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: loving relationship and you've talked it through. I assume you
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: guys talked and agreed that you guys were an exclusive couple. Yes,
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: then you very much deserve to be prioritized. So it
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: sounds like his actions were not lining up in alignment.
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: If you will with his words.
• 20:52
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I would say so, as much as I want
• 20:55
  Speaker 6: to believe that it wasn't intentional.
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: What nobody accidentally pledges their heart to another person and
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: then says, oh, by the way, I was kind of
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: only getting You're right. I mean I used to do
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: that all the time when I was young, When I
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: was younger than you, because I was a hot mess.
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: I had been through trauma, I had been through sexual abuse,
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: and I meant it when I said it. I meant
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: I loved you when I said it, But then two
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: hours later, when I had a mood swing because it
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: was a trauma reaction, I didn't mean it anymore. And
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: I would gaslight the poor guys and say, why did
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: you believe me when I say I loved you? What's
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: wrong with you? Why would you even think that I
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: meant it when I promised you I.
• 21:42
  Speaker 4: Loved you absolutely, and I believed it for a.
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: Year and there were really really nice people that believed
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: me too, And I did far worse things than your
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: partner did. So I'm not judging him or saying he's
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: a bad person, but he is not emotionally available, which
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: means he's probably been through trauma and isn't healed.
• 22:09
  Speaker 6: Right, So then how do I find myself in this
• 22:13
  Speaker 6: city now that it's just me again?
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: Well, you moved there for a reason, right, and that
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: reason wasn't him?
• 22:21
  Speaker 3: Right?
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: Did you move there for work? Did you move there
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: for opportunity? Where did you move to? First off? What city?
• 22:29
  Speaker 4: Often?
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: Oh, oh my gosh, honey, go to the North End,
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: Go get a canoli. That's all you gotta do. You
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: got to go to the North End and get a
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: canol and wander around, especially now that the holidays are coming.
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, the North End is so darling. Or
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: go down to the cape, go explore. Go get a
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: little bungalow and stay in it for a night. Go
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: walk on the beach. Go to a cranberry boggin. It's
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: cranberry picking season right now. Go find a cranberry bug.
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: Go find an apple field where they're apple orchard where
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: they're picking apples. In a pumpkin field where they're picking
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: pumpkins and they have a hay ride. Go explore. There's
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: so much beauty around every corner, the hills with the
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: gold and the red and the yellow, and the little
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: white steeples poking up. Oh my gosh. Drive up to Maine,
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: Drive up to New Hampshire, Drive down to Connecticut. Catch
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: the train. Go explore. It is such a vibrant, amazing,
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: passionate area. Go tour the old North Church. Stand there
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: and say one of by land, two of by sea,
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: and I on the opposite shore shall be. Go find
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: the graves of Paul Revere. Go look at the silver
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: that he smithed.
• 23:58
  Speaker 6: Right, I move here for a reason and there's so
• 24:02
  Speaker 6: much beauty and history and things to be explored in
• 24:07
  Speaker 6: the city.
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: Do you have a car.
• 24:11
  Speaker 4: No, I had to sell it when I moved sadly.
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: Well, there's great mass transit there. Do you go to
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: Boston Commons. Did you go on the swan boats this summer?
• 24:24
  Speaker 4: I did.
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: End My friend life is waiting like a sweet, delicious,
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: juicy apple waiting to be picked. You live in one
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: of the prettiest places in the world. There is nothing
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: like the holidays in Boston. The white candles, the single
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: white candles that you're going to see in every window
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: of every house that was built in the eighteen hundreds.
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: It's spectacular.
• 24:54
  Speaker 4: Absolutely.
• 24:55
  Speaker 6: I there's everything out there for me to go explore.
• 25:00
  Speaker 4: I can do that by myself.
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: Yes you can, Yes you can. I know because I
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: did by myself. Well, I wasn't by myself. I had
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: a four year old boy, my son, with me. But
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: we explored. We climbed every tree that he could climb
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: in Boston Commons. We rode the swan boats every day.
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: We went to the North End and had Mike's Canoli's
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: and lemon ice all summer long. In the fall, we
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: went on to Apple orchards and on wagon rides, and
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: we went up to New Hampshire and to Maine, and
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: we learned how to ski and the hills up there
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: in the winter, and we spent Thanksgiving and Christmas looking
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: at lights in the windows, and we went to the
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: Old North Church and we did all those things. We
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: loved it.
• 25:49
  Speaker 6: I can't wait to experience that.
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: Go live your life fully, and in doing so, God
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: will bring people into your life that will enrich your life.
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: Some of them will only stay for a season, like
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: the friend you just said goodbye to, but the lessons
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: that he taught you will be lessons for life, and
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: some of them will stay for more than a season,
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: and some of them will be a part of your
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: life for the rest of your life.
• 26:20
  Speaker 4: I love that. Thank you.
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: You're going to be just fine, young man. God bless you.
• 26:27
  Speaker 6: I can't explain enough how much it means to both
• 26:30
  Speaker 6: twenty three year old and six year old me, who
• 26:34
  Speaker 6: would listen to the Delilah Show every single night, to
• 26:38
  Speaker 6: be hearing from you now.
• 26:39
  Speaker 4: Thank you so much.
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: Logan. There is a season for everything, and unfortunately you
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: have to accept that this plan that you had, this
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: hope that you had for a future. Your partner did
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: not share it, and now you are in a season
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: of growth, a season where you get to discover all
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: sorts of amazing things about yourself and about this dynamic
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: city that you live in. Good luck and God bless you,
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: Thank you, good night, have a great night. Beth has
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: lost both of her best friends in this season of grief.
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: Her story is filled with heartfelt love, so much love,
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: and so much sadness. I am going to let her
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: share her story with you right now. Hi, good evening.
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: You've called the Delilah Show. My name is Beth, So
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: tell me who is on your heart, han, tell me
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: who you're thinking of.
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: So six months ago I lost my two best friends,
• 27:50
  Speaker 3: my mom and my sister, within six weeks of each other.
• 27:54
  Speaker 3: And I'm still struggling a little bit with that. Getting
• 27:59
  Speaker 3: back her with Mom. Every day it seems a little
• 28:02
  Speaker 3: bit better. I can smile when I see her picture,
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: I can laugh thinking about things. She was the best mom.
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: God knew I needed the best, so he gave me her,
• 28:13
  Speaker 3: is what I always say. And my sister was my
• 28:17
  Speaker 3: big sister and was diagnosed with cancer last June and
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: passed away within less than a year. And then Mom
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: passed away six weeks later, and it's just been incredibly hard.
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: Do you think after your sister was called home, your
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: mom just couldn't stand up under that pain.
• 28:39
  Speaker 3: And here's the thing. Mom had Parkinson's and had not
• 28:43
  Speaker 3: been well for about five years, and she had declared
• 28:47
  Speaker 3: she was in a health care facility, which was the
• 28:50
  Speaker 3: best ever. I mean, they have to be there. I'm
• 28:53
  Speaker 3: glad she was where she was because they loved her
• 28:56
  Speaker 3: almost as much as we did. And she been declining
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: for quite some time. And I do think that since
• 29:04
  Speaker 3: is passing kind of just accelerated that. But you know,
• 29:09
  Speaker 3: she was eighty four, well she was eighty three, would
• 29:13
  Speaker 3: have been eighty four a few weeks later, and this
• 29:17
  Speaker 3: was sixty two. And I've just had an incredibly hard
• 29:21
  Speaker 3: time with my sister's.
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: Passing because it's not fair.
• 29:26
  Speaker 3: Said it, but it's how I feel sometimes. It's just
• 29:28
  Speaker 3: not fair.
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: It's not And you look around and you see so
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: much evil and people that are hard hearted and cruel
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: and hurting other people and they don't even have a
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: dan cavity.
• 29:44
  Speaker 3: She was a registered nurse. She has taken care of
• 29:48
  Speaker 3: so many people in and out of the hospital in
• 29:52
  Speaker 3: and out of her life. You know, just she was
• 29:56
  Speaker 3: a born caretaker and the amount of people that expressed
• 30:03
  Speaker 3: that her celebration of life was just incredible.
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: Can I share two things with you that helped me
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: when I lost my boys?
• 30:14
  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, I don't even know how you do that.
• 30:17
  Speaker 3: I don't know how you would even put one foot
• 30:20
  Speaker 3: in front of the other. I would love to hear.
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: The first that I will share with you came from
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: a friend named Rory Feeke who's a Christian singer, songwriter, artist,
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: and he lost his wife to cancer a little bit
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: after I lost my first son, a little bit before
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: I lost my second son, and he heard about my
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: son's suicide and he reached out and called me and
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: he said, I want to share something with you that
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: has given me the ability to get through. And I said, yes, please,
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: And he said, your boys are much more a part
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: of your future than they are a part of your past,
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: so look towards the future. And I snapped back at him.
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: I mean, it was a knee jerk reaction, and I said,
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: how dare you say that I have no future with them?
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: I don't get to.
• 31:23
  Speaker 5: Sammy didn't even get his braces off neither one of
• 31:27
  Speaker 5: them got to go to college. I don't get to
• 31:29
  Speaker 5: meet their future wives. I don't get to hold their
• 31:32
  Speaker 5: future children. Now can you say that? And he said, Delilah,
• 31:37
  Speaker 5: because both your boys had faith in God. Therefore you
• 31:43
  Speaker 5: know exactly where they are. They are not lost. They
• 31:47
  Speaker 5: are in heaven with the Lord, and one day you
• 31:51
  Speaker 5: will be there.
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: And he said, and here's the key that keeps me going,
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: that keeps me sane. He said, you will never again
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: fear death. You will welcome it with anticipation, knowing that
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: when your time hear is through, you'll be reunited.
• 32:11
  Speaker 3: He's right.
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: And I said, Okay, say that again slowly so I
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: can understand. And he said again, your boys are much
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: more a part of your future than they are a
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: part of your past. And the same is true for
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: your sister and your mama.
• 32:32
  Speaker 3: That is, And I do you know, I take comfort
• 32:35
  Speaker 3: de Lailah knowing that they're in heaven with my dad
• 32:40
  Speaker 3: and my grandma and both grandparents both set to grandparents.
• 32:44
  Speaker 3: It just sometimes doesn't make my heart ache any less.
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: It's different for me knowing that they're in heaven. Oh yeah,
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: it is a totally different perspective. Knowing they're in heaven
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: because I knew that the minute they passed. Then it
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: is thinking I now will look forward to when God
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: calls me home so that we can be reunited. Totally
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: different perspective.
• 33:16
  Speaker 3: Yes, I can see that. I've got to mold that
• 33:21
  Speaker 3: in my brain a little bit. I can see that.
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: So that was the first thing I would share with you.
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: And the second thing is this, all of our days
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: are numbered before a single one comes to pass. God says,
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: I knew you before I formed you, before the foundations
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: of the world were in place. I knew you. So
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: God knew both my boys and my mother, and my
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: father and my brother before he created the world he
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: planned on making them. And then he says this, all
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: of your days are numbered before a single one comes
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: to pass. If you are going to live five days,
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: five thousand days, or five hundred thousand days, God knows
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: before the umbilical cord is cut. So there is nothing
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: that your sister could have done, that you could have
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: done to change the day God was going to call
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: her home.
• 34:31
  Speaker 3: No, there's not. I just missed my big sister so bad.
• 34:40
  Speaker 3: But I know that's just a part of it. You know,
• 34:41
  Speaker 3: I've started grief counseling, and I'm so happy that I've
• 34:46
  Speaker 3: done that.
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: It saved my life. Had I not gone to grief counseling,
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't be here with you.
• 34:52
  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, what to say?
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: So here's the thing. People used to think that when
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: somebody that we love died, it left a hole in
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: our heart, but that over time that hole got smaller
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: and diminished until it was just a little pinhole. That's
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: not true. Anybody who's lost anybody they loved knows that's
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: a ballface lie it is.
• 35:19
  Speaker 3: I you know, I don't know why I said that,
• 35:21
  Speaker 3: because now that you say that, what you just said,
• 35:23
  Speaker 3: that is absolutely true. We lost bad six years ago
• 35:27
  Speaker 3: in Delilah, those days that it feels like it was yesterday.
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, the hole doesn't diminish, it doesn't get smaller. But
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: your life grows around the hole. Yes, your life will
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: grow around the hole. And as hard as it is
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: to believe, and I can't, I don't know how I
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: would go on. If God called my sister home. There
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: are half a dozen women I can count them on
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: one hand that mean the world to me. Yep, And
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: my my sister is a person that I admire and
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: respect and cherish, and if God were to call her
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: home before me, that whole would never diminish. It would
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: just get bigger, if anything.
• 36:15
  Speaker 3: Right right, And you know, it's maybe odd at fifty
• 36:20
  Speaker 3: six years old, does this sounds. I was always a
• 36:23
  Speaker 3: moment's girl right up until the day she passed away,
• 36:28
  Speaker 3: And so there's a giant hole where she's at. But
• 36:32
  Speaker 3: you know, I can I don't wouldn't want either, want
• 36:34
  Speaker 3: them to suffer. And so with Mama, you know, I
• 36:39
  Speaker 3: feel blessed that she's not suffering anymore and that she's
• 36:43
  Speaker 3: back with Dad again. I'm happy that this isn't suffering
• 36:47
  Speaker 3: anymore and that she's where she's at. And I know that,
• 36:50
  Speaker 3: and I know someday I'll see her again and we
• 36:52
  Speaker 3: will reunite.
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: I'm just sad, yeah, of course, because they're a huge,
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: huge part of who you are and every memory and
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: every holiday and every birthday and every sunrise and every sunset.
• 37:11
  Speaker 3: Yes, yes, that's for sure. But I still have my
• 37:16
  Speaker 3: amazing big brother and my sister in law and my
• 37:20
  Speaker 3: brother in law, and I'm very grateful for those people
• 37:25
  Speaker 3: and everybody else who has supported all of us through
• 37:28
  Speaker 3: all of this.
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: Well, I'm going to say a prayer for you and Beth.
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: I promise you the Lord is going to get you
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: through this. I promise you that.
• 37:40
  Speaker 3: He already has. Delilah, I see the way He works
• 37:43
  Speaker 3: in me so much in the time, the fact that I,
• 37:46
  Speaker 3: like I said, I can look at pictures of my mom,
• 37:50
  Speaker 3: or I'll think of something that she would say a lot,
• 37:52
  Speaker 3: and I can just smile or laugh because that was Mom.
• 37:57
  Speaker 3: Is God working, That's not me.
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: Well, I'm going to play a song for you. God,
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: bless you.
• 38:06
  Speaker 3: Thank you so much, and that as you as well.
• 38:09
  Speaker 3: You as well.
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: You have a good night.
• 38:13
  Speaker 3: You too, Delilah, thank you so much for everything. I
• 38:16
  Speaker 3: appreciate you taking the time to talk to me.
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: Beth. You are such a sweet, sweet, sweet woman. I
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: know all too well what true loss feels like. I
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: know the depth of pain when you just can't breathe.
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: The weight of grief is crushing. But never forget where
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: your best friends are, where they reside. Your mama, your
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: sister are in the arms of God, and one day
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: you will be too. But not today, Please not today.
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: Today is a season for you to carry on their
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: legacy of love. As I wrap up today's pot I
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: want to remind you that as we are literally changing seasons,
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: we are also going through different phases in our lives.
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: We can't control that. We cannot control. I cannot control
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: the season that my body is going through. That I
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: am no longer in a season of giving birth raising children.
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: While I am raising children, but not ones that I
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: gave birth to. That season ended many years ago. The
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: only advice I have for you and for myself is
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: to trust in the Lord in all these seasons. Be
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: there for those who need you in any way you
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: can be there. Be present, be emotionally available, be invested. Give,
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: give from your heart, give your time, give your energy,
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: give your love. I will be back next week with
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: another episode of Have a Little Faith with de Lilah
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: Delah