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S5 E7 Raising Financially Free Children · The Swan Effect - Creating and Sustaining Your Financial Wellbeing

• 0:00
  Arthi Rabikrisson: Your legacy isn't just about numbers; it's about the confidence that comes with knowing your wealth is expertly managed. At Old Mutual Wealth, we offer solutions that go beyond investment management.
• 0:12
  Arthi Rabikrisson: We're your trusted partner in achieving financial success.
• 0:17
  Arthi Rabikrisson: Together with your financial planner, we uncover what matters most to you, crafting a personalised plan tailored to your unique goals. Backed by a team dedicated to your wealth journey, we provide innovative strategies, in-depth research, and award-winning investment expertise. Partner with us to take your wealth further with advice-led, personalised wealth management, offering clients and financial planners a full suite of industry-leading investment solutions. Visit www.oldmutual.co.za/wealth to learn more.
• 1:03
  Arthi Rabikrisson: Hi there. I'm Arthi Rabikrisson.
• 1:05
  Malika Petersen: Hello. I'm Malika Peterson.
• 1:07
  Arthi Rabikrisson: Welcome to
• 1:09
  Malika Petersen: the Swan Effect Podcast.
• 1:11
  Arthi Rabikrisson: We're your go-to podcast to simplify the complexities of money management, investing, and wealth management,
• 1:19
  Malika Petersen: so that you can gain confidence in your relationship with money and become financially literate, independent, and free.
• 1:27
  Arthi Rabikrisson: That first step towards freedom is knowledge, and you can start with gaining that right now by listening to this upcoming episode.
• 1:40
  Arthi Rabikrisson: Hello, wonderful listeners, and welcome back to the September edition of the Swan Effect podcast. In South Africa, we celebrate Heritage Day later this month, and part of that heritage is understanding the biggest legacy we will leave, which is our children. Hi, Malika, how are you?
• 1:59
  Malika Petersen: Hi, Arthi. Hi, listeners. Today's episode really, really has me excited, right? Because it talks not only to our families, but also the economic future of our country, right? And that's not only because children are often the people we are building for, but they're also the people that are learning from us way before we even realise that they are learning, they hear tone when we say we can't afford that. They notice what happens when a bill arrives. They see whether money is spoken about calmly, or whether it becomes a source of tension in the home.
• 2:36
  Arthi Rabikrisson: Oh, there's just so much of awareness around it from children. Hey, when we speak about legacy, everyone, we often think about what we leave behind one day. You know, we've talked about it in previous episodes already-the will, the assets, the policies, the house, education funds. You know, all of these things that we are able to build on. But actually, legacy also happens in the ordinary moments. For example, as Malika was saying, you know, it's happening in things like the grocery aisle. When a child asks you for something at the till, it happens when they ask,"Well, why can't we have what that other child has? You know, it happens when we're also speaking about saving, spending, and why we're spending or not.
• 3:19
  Arthi Rabikrisson: Our debt accumulation taxes, also giving, and the whole idea about wanting things as well, right? We know children love things. We also love things as well as adults. So today's episode, we're calling it raising financially free children. And by financially free, we don't mean raising rich children necessarily. We mean children who can understand money without being controlled by fear, shame, or silence.
• 3:47
  Malika Petersen: Absolutely, we are talking about children who can ask questions, right?
• 3:50
  Malika Petersen: Children who can make small mistakes and learn from them.
• 3:55
  Malika Petersen: Children who understand that money is not magic, but it's also not something to be terrified of, which I think many of you know is the message that many of us give today. We're talking about how to teach money without trauma, how to explain debt and tax in a child-friendly way, you know how pocket money can become a practice, and how we break generational money cycles without making children carry the adult burden,
• 4:23
  Arthi Rabikrisson: and I think our biggest takeaway is this: you do not have to be wealthy to teach financial wisdom. You just need to be honest, age-appropriate, and consistent.
• 4:32
  Malika Petersen: Yeah. So let's start with that phrase, right?
• 4:34
  Malika Petersen: Teaching money without trauma. I think sometimes when people hear the word trauma, they think we're saying every difficult money conversation damages a child, and that's not what you mean in any way, shape, or form, right? Not at all. Children can understand limits. They understand that they cannot have everything that they want. They get it. They get this thing about not being able to have everything. They can understand.
• 5:00
  Malika Petersen: Stand better household as priorities. What they often struggle with is emotional chaos without context. If every money conversation comes with shouting, secrecy, blame, panic, you know, then a child does not learn. They don't only learn we can't afford this.
• 5:18
  Arthi Rabikrisson: Yeah,
• 5:18
  Malika Petersen: they may also learn money is dangerous, or money makes people fight, or money is just something that I shouldn't ask about.
• 5:28
  Arthi Rabikrisson: Oh, those are such important distinctions, Malika. You know, the reality is, is these are the things that are happening, and the goal, everyone, is not to hide financial reality from children.
• 5:36
  Arthi Rabikrisson: Rather, it's to give them a reality in a way that their nervous system, their stage of development, can actually make sense of. Can take holder. There really is a difference between saying, for example, this man, we've been careful because we have important things to pay, and instead of saying rather we don't pay this, we're finished.
• 5:58
  Arthi Rabikrisson: Oh my gosh, you know that gives a bit of context. The first one, particularly, you know, helps them understand something is on the go, and we have to be careful. The other one is just creating anxiety and panic, as you said, Madika. And I think that is where adults need to kind of pause and really ask.
• 6:15
  Arthi Rabikrisson: You know, am I giving my child information, or am I passing on my fear to them?
• 6:20
  Malika Petersen: Yeah, and I think that question alone could absolutely change the atmosphere in a home, because you know many of us speak from a place of stress, especially when money is stuck. And look, we get Yes. You know, sometimes you just feel like you
• 6:33
  Arthi Rabikrisson: it, right?
• 6:35
  Arthi Rabikrisson: don't have the mental capacity to explain or have the conversation. Yeah, and that's a completely human response. But children don't always have the context to understand that the adult is just venting. They may interpret that as danger. So teaching money without trauma starts with three commitments.
• 6:57
  Arthi Rabikrisson: Firstly, don't make your children responsible for adult problems, it's a very important one, right? Secondly, don't shame children for wanting things. That is natural. It's also a human response, right?
• 7:09
  Arthi Rabikrisson: Yeah, yeah.
• 7:12
  Malika Petersen: And thirdly, explain choices calmly and in an age-appropriate way.
• 7:18
  Arthi Rabikrisson: No, I think those commitments are so important, Malika. You know the one that's really standing out for me is that second one, right? Where children want things. We know this. They'll see sometimes branded or unbranded, depending on the age, right? Certain shoes or toys or snacks, games, even or whatever's the latest thing. But it doesn't automatically mean that they are entitled, right?
• 7:42
  Arthi Rabikrisson: It means that they're learning about this concept of desire, like you know, I like something and therefore I should or want to have it. Our role, everyone, is to help them understand the trade-offs. So instead of saying, "Oh, you're so wasteful, you know, why are we spending money on this again? We could say something like, "That is something you want. Let's talk about how long it would take to save to get that. So instead of saying things like "we can't afford that, "we're broke, we don't have money, we could say that's not in our plan this month. Maybe we're going to choose to cover our groceries or our fees or our transport first.
• 8:18
  Malika Petersen: Yeah, and I think that shift Arthi, it teaches children that money has a job, right? Things to do.
• 8:27
  Malika Petersen: Yeah, yes, it's stuff that needs to happen with money. You know, it doesn't teach them that life is hopeless, which is very different view, right? It also helps them to understand that money is not just about yes or no. It's about making choices, about trade-offs, about timing, about prioritising things, and those are concepts that you know. If we take the time to teach them, they can learn when we make it practical for them.
• 8:56
  Arthi Rabikrisson: That's so true. It's making me think about role modelling, right? Because even when we're not formally teaching money, we are actually still teaching about money.
• 9:06
  Arthi Rabikrisson: Think about it, you know. So if we're saying things like "save your money, but our children see us crying impulsively and then panicking afterwards, they're learning there's a pattern that's prevalent more than the instruction. You know, if we're saying things like, for example, debt is dangerous, and and then they see the secrecy around credit, what they may actually learn is rather the secrecy element. If every budgeting conversation that we're having in our household becomes like a fight about certain things, then what they're going to learn is actually we don't have peace in our household, so money destroys our peace. So the question is not only what should I teach my child; it's also what am I modelling to them? Money is uncomfortable.
• 9:50
  Malika Petersen: Yeah, and that is, you know, it's confronting, but it's not meant to be shaming, right? Which is very important to understand. Many adults are trying to raise.
• 10:00
  Malika Petersen: Financially wise children, while still healing from their own money story, right? So perfection is not the point.
• 10:08
  Malika Petersen: Nobody's expecting you to have a perfect conversation. But what is useful to children to see to see is is repair and regulation, right? They can see an adult say, "We overspent last month, so this month we are adjusting, or we maybe we don't fully understand this product that we want to buy. So, so you know, ask questions about it before signing on or before taking a decision. Or they might hear something like, "We've made a plan and now we need to stick to it, and that teaches children that money is something that you can pay attention to, you can learn about it, and you can always improve or get better and correct things. It doesn't have to be hidden or dramatic.
• 10:52
  Arthi Rabikrisson: I really like that, and I think one of the healthiest things children can see is it's not a perfect money life, but actually a regulated one, like you said, Malika. So you know, one where adults can actually talk about money without shouting, where you can talk about money, even make a mistake, but don't hide it. You know, it's about us as adults also delaying a purchase without making it feel like it's a punishment. Because here's the thing, you know, everyone we understand money is not always needs. There's going to be tough months. There's going to be unexpected expenses. But children can learn that difficult money moments can be met with calmness, with communication, conversation, and even with fame.
• 11:34
  Malika Petersen: Yeah. And let's get into debt and taxes, right?
• 11:37
  Malika Petersen: Because these are two topics that, I mean, as we've seen from this entire series, adults often avoid themselves, right? Yeah, but they definitely avoid it with with their children, and with good reason, because adults are often trying to make peace with dating taxes themselves, right? Yes, yes. We can explain both simply to children. You know, debt is kind of money that you borrow and must pay back, and sometimes you're going to pay a little bit more or extra money when you pay it back, and that's called interest. And taxes are money that people contribute to help fund public services and shared systems, right? And I think it's important to note that in the beginning, that is enough. They don't need to know more than that, and it also doesn't need to come with the whole emotional history behind it.
• 12:31
  Arthi Rabikrisson: Exactly, I'm so glad you're touching on this point, Malika. You know, the tone around this really matters.
• 12:37
  Arthi Rabikrisson: Can you imagine if children are only hearing about tax spoken as things around theft, punishment, pain. Oh my gosh! You know they're going to grow up fearing it instead of planning for it.
• 12:49
  Arthi Rabikrisson: If they're only hearing about debt spoken in some sort of a shameful context, they may actually hide borrowing instead of asking for help early on or even clearly. You know, for younger children, everyone, I think it's it's easier when we use simple everyday examples. An example would be to say, you know, if I said to my son, you know, if you're going to borrow 10 rand for mummy today and promise to pay it back by, let's say, the end of the week, then that is debt. It means that you owe me that 10 rand. But if we agree that you must pay me actually 11 rand back. Who extra one ran? Is that interest?
• 13:24
  Arthi Rabikrisson: Right. So now we simplify it.
• 13:24
  Arthi Rabikrisson: It's in a similar vein. If we're trying to explain or share about taxes, you know, you could say something around, for example, when people earn money, part of that money is going towards the wider community pot to help us with our roads and our schools, to make things available to us to use. So, as you can see, everyone, it's simple everyday things that they're seeing that they're seeing and using as well can be making it really, really important and relevant to them.
• 13:54
  Malika Petersen: Yeah, I mean, we know, right, that some adults may want to add their political commentary or views at this point. Maybe let the children finish their cereal first. But I think, I mean, it's important, and Arthi and I have spoken about this on our podcast many, many times. We believe in speaking positively and thinking positively, right? So, your first explanation, you know, can be neutral and factual. As children get older; they can handle a little bit more complexity, right? And I think for preteens, you can introduce consequences. So you know, if you borrow often and you don't track what you owe, it can become stressful. Or when you earn money one day, not all of it may be spendable because you know tax may be part of the bigger picture. For teenagers, you could even go a little deeper, right? And I mean, there's two ways you could do this. The first way is that you could charge them tax for, example, Wi-Fi on the allowances, right? You could tax the allowance because Wi-Fi is a shared service. That everybody uses in the homes, you could tax a percentage of each teenager's allowance to to help to pay for the Wi-Fi, or if you're comfortable enough, show them your payslip, you know, or even download a fake one off of the internet. But I mean, explain gross income versus what take-home pay is, right? Explain PAY in simple terms, you know, explain that interest can work for you when you save, but against you when you borrow unnecessarily or carelessly.
• 15:29
  Arthi Rabikrisson: Oh, the interest one is such a useful lesson. You know that interest can work for you or against you, and I love those examples as well, Malika. It really makes it tangible and real. You know what again, everyone at different ages, we can share different information and lessons around that. And I think you know we also do need to be careful around debt, and especially not to make debt sound like it's some sort of a personality flaw.
• 15:52
  Arthi Rabikrisson: You know, sometimes we'll say,"Oh, you know, just generically, debt is going to ruin your life, but rather, you know, we've been saying this over many of our seasons now. Everybody, debt is a tool. It can help you to study, to buy a home, to build something, but only when you understand the cost of it and the repayment impact of that.
• 16:15
  Arthi Rabikrisson: Right. The same with tax. It's not a surprise to be taxed if you learn to plan. Obviously, yes, it's stressful if you're going to pretend it's not there and it's not something you you liable for. And I like to think of it as we can create a love language around tax as well.
• 16:29
  Arthi Rabikrisson: Something like I'm going to teach you the rules early so you don't have to learn them through panic. Saying that to your kids, completely different conversation. I think the other thing I want us to quickly mention is the idea around pocket money because people have really strong feelings about this. So I love the example you were talking about the allowance or the pocket money and the Wi-Fi chats, right? So a lot of people will even go a bit further than that. Say, okay, but should children even have pocket money? Should it be tied to like chores? Is every rand worthy of them actually earning?
• 17:01
  Arthi Rabikrisson: You know, or actually, you know, as parents, should we pay for them to get good grades? Can grandparents be allowed to secretly give extra money, which grandparents do, and then they ruin the whole system by doing that? Honestly, I think grandparents are just a whole parallel economy. We're not even going to go there for this one, right? We know there's often not much regulation or consultation.
• 17:27
  Arthi Rabikrisson: It's just about you know spoiling, giving cash and and snacks and all of that. But in any case, like I said, separate thing. But coming back to the pocket money, you know, Malika, I don't know about you. I don't think there's one perfect answer here. I think maybe we have to think about that in terms of well, what is the lesson we're trying to teach around pocket money?
• 17:45
  Malika Petersen: Yeah, I think if you can add on the the right, I think if an allowance or pocket money is only free money, children may not connect money to choices, right? But I mean, if every household contribution is paid. They may also start thinking family responsibility is always transactional, right?
• 18:07
  Malika Petersen: So, so it's it's a difficult one because a balanced approach can can work well. Some chores are definitely family contributions because we live in a shared space together. So things like making your bed, putting your plate away, helping keep shared spaces tidy. You know, these are things that we should always like to teach my kids that when you leave a room, make sure it looks better than when you entered it, right? And I mean, there are other extra tasks that can be paid for because they teach effort, they teach earning, they teach enterprise, right? So the so I don't think you know the lesson is only about money comes from work.
• 18:47
  Malika Petersen: It's also about I contribute to my household or my society or by you know the the shared space I I'm in because I belong here.
• 18:58
  Arthi Rabikrisson: You know, you know, I like that, Malika, and then I'm thinking, you know, once the money is in their hands, we also need spend for a 10 year old is far cheaper to teach than a 20,000 rand lesson to a 25 year old, okay.
• 19:31
  Arthi Rabikrisson: So perhaps instead of shaming them when those mistakes happen, we can reflect within the other.
• 19:40
  Arthi Rabikrisson: You know, maybe we can, with curiosity, kind of invite. You know, what happened there, and how does it feel to have nothing left right now? Is there something you maybe want to do differently next time? I think the lesson can really land through reflection rather than humiliation. What do you think,
• 19:56
  Malika Petersen: Yeah, and I mean, I also think that we can give them simple structure.
• 19:59
  Malika Petersen: Right, like spend, save, share are useful categories. Right, I think I've previously told you that with my niece, she's got three jars. I've given her three Malika?
• 20:09
  jars: a spend jar, save jar, and a give jar. And I think for younger kids, that's very appropriate. For older children, you might want to add an invest jar. Right, so if they receive 100 rand, for example, they can divide it into those categories, physically or digitally, whichever you know you want to do. Then they understand that if they want something special, specific that's a bit more expensive, like headphones, a game, a toy, a pair of shoes, whatever it may be, you can help them to calculate the price and how much they need to save each week, and then how long it will take. And I think the nice thing about this is that it teaches them planning, so they learn budgeting skills from early on.
• 20:48
  jars: It teaches them patience. They we speak about delayed gratification all the time on our podcast. All the time, we know that truly wealthy people have the ability to delay their gratification.
• 21:01
  Arthi Rabikrisson: Yeah,
• 21:01
  Malika Petersen: I mean, I think the question that adults, you know, also need is what else becomes harder if I buy this. So they need to question the kids and say, what am I giving up?
• 21:11
  Malika Petersen: What am I sacrificing? What are some of the trade offs that I'm making if I buy this thing? Now let's talk a bit about credit that these. So
• 21:18
  Arthi Rabikrisson: okay, and yeah,
• 21:19
  Malika Petersen: digital spending, right? Because I think children are seeing these things much earlier than we did when we were kids. Oh, did and also much earlier than we realise, right?
• 21:32
  Malika Petersen: So, you know, they see store card and they see tap to pay and you know buy now pay later subscriptions in purchases, you know, gaming purchases, airtime advances, you know, there's a lot of lifestyle pressure, which I firmly believe because we're in a generation that doesn't use so much physical cash. Yes, yes, it creates a lot of lifestyle pressure for kids because they see others tapping, buying without physically seeing money changing hands and money reducing in hands, right? You know, money is becoming more invisible, so kids don't actually realise how much spending has happened. You know, and when you think about this, when we look back, when we were kids, money was coins; it was notes.
• 22:20
  Arthi Rabikrisson: Yes, so you physically saw your empty hand after it left your hand. Now it's a tap and a swipe and a click, and money moves silently.
• 22:26
  Arthi Rabikrisson: It's it's tough. You know, Malika. I think this is even prevalent for us as adults in terms of how silent money moves with all of these things. And I love that you brought this up because ultimately this invisible hand that's moving money means potentially we're not in a position to explain some key concepts clearly to our kids, and we're not physically seeing it, as you say. So, for example, you know, if we don't explain what credit is, I mean, somehow or the other, the market just generally is going to help them learn that lesson of what that is, and explain it to them.
• 23:03
  Arthi Rabikrisson: And to be honest, the market, the wider market, is not trying to raise financially wise children necessarily. They're trying to convert attention to spending, right? So our children need the language. They need to understand that borrowing future money can also reduce future freedom. Okay, that helps him to see that credit is not only about getting something in the now; it's about giving up something later. So, totally ties into our delayed gratification kind of ethos that we push in this podcast, Malika.
• 23:33
  Malika Petersen: Yeah, and I mean, I think for teenagers, right, a family credit simulation can be very useful.
• 23:39
  Malika Petersen: Okay, if they want to borrow from next month's allowance, for example, write it down. You know, you you're borrowing 50 rand from next month, and you know that means that next month you will receive 50 rand or more less. I mean, you could choose to put it in interest allocation. You'll get 55 rand less next month because you borrowed 50 rand this month, right? And then kind of discuss it, you know, afterwards. Say, how did it feel to have less in the following month because you spent it early? Was it worth borrowing? You know, was the thing that you borrowed for worth it? And what should you do differently next time? And you know, that's very different from saying you see now you're so irresponsible. You know it allows them to get the practice of debt without attaching any shame to it.
• 24:30
  Arthi Rabikrisson: I really like this idea of the credit simulation. So so useful, Malika, and it's also making me think on the digital spending side. Maybe we do also need to teach the pause to our kids. So children are being marketed to all the time. We know this.
• 24:44
  Arthi Rabikrisson: Whether it's data, games, downloads, skins, the latest stuff, right? Experiences, even the pressure, as you said, it's also social. So instead of only saying no, we can teach them to even ask. Themselves, you know, is this a want? Is this a need?
• 25:00
  Arthi Rabikrisson: Or is this a now pressure because my friend has it or or has gotten it for a gift?
• 25:09
  Arthi Rabikrisson: Because guess what? Sometimes children and adults, you know, we buy things not because we truly want them, but because we're feeling pressured in the moment. So learning to pause really is a financial skill, I think.
• 25:21
  Malika Petersen: Yeah, let's talk about breaking generational cycles. Arthi, you know, I mean, inside a financial home, you know, I think it means we stop handing down fear as wisdom. We stop confusing secrecy with protection. We stop making kids feel guilty for wanting more while teaching them that more must be managed properly, right?
• 25:43
  Malika Petersen: And I think many of us inherited money scripts without realising it again. Rich people are greedy. Debt is normal. Tax is confusing. Insurance is a grudge purchase. You know, investing is for other people, rich people.
• 26:03
  Malika Petersen: Don't talk about money. You know, I mean, these are all the scripts that you know they don't have to be taught for me.
• 26:09
  Malika Petersen: Children just pick them up through comments and silence and behaviours.
• 26:14
  Arthi Rabikrisson: As you were rattling those off, I was almost going mentally. Check heard that. Check that. And exactly to your point, children inherit those scripts unless we actually are rewriting them out loud. So a cycle breaking household, everyone might say something like, "In this family, we talk about money calmly, or "In this family, we we plan before we spend. It could even look like in this family we don't measure love by expensive gifts we can't afford. Maybe I think the biggest one in this family mistakes are information. It's not your identity.
• 26:50
  Malika Petersen: Yeah,
• 26:51
  Arthi Rabikrisson: I think that's a big one.
• 26:52
  Malika Petersen: And I think yeah, like you said, that last one really matters because children will make mistakes.
• 26:57
  Malika Petersen: Guys, we make mistakes in adulthood, right? They will overspend as we will overspend.
• 27:01
  Malika Petersen: You know, they will compare as we compare. They may mishandle money as we may have done in our lives before, before listening to the Swan Effect podcast.
• 27:13
  Malika Petersen: Right, but I mean, if the response is shame, they're gonna hide. If the response is guidance, they're going to learn, and I think breaking cycles doesn't mean giving children a perfect financial life. It means giving them the language and the tools and the emotional safety so that they can recover faster and choose wiser.
• 27:36
  Arthi Rabikrisson: And I think you know we have to hold this even in the South African context, right? We know Malika, many families are navigating inequality, unstable income or variable incomes. So many different costs from school to transport to having to, you know, obviously have obligations with extended family. We know this. There is that pressure to support multiple generations.
• 27:59
  Arthi Rabikrisson: So, financial freedom for children does not mean we're going to ignore these realities.
• 28:07
  Arthi Rabikrisson: It means helping children understand the reality without making them carry it alone. They can know money has limits without feeling responsible for the household survival. They can learn generosity without learning self erasure. They can also learn ambition without learning shame. This is, I think, a really different kind of legacy that we can leave for our children to be financially free.
• 28:30
  Malika Petersen: Yeah, and I and I think this is our reflection moment, right, Arthi? If you could kind of go back,
• 28:37
  Arthi Rabikrisson: yeah,
• 28:37
  Malika Petersen: what do you wish you had understood about money at 18.
• 28:42
  Arthi Rabikrisson: Yeah, I mean, thinking back, I would have really wanted to know more about the basics in a plain manner, right? Things like what does debt cost? What are the mechanisms around interest? You know, and why why does tax actually matter? I, you know, I did kind of understand around saving. In fact, I'm I'm still a very very decent saver. Let's put it that way. But you know, there's also this narrative about saving could potentially be a punishment because you're not spending. You know, rather I would have wanted it to be positioned that it's a choice.
• 29:14
  Arthi Rabikrisson: So saving is not punishment.
• 29:17
  Arthi Rabikrisson: It's a choice. And many of us have learned pieces of money through observation, but not always through explanation. We may have seen the stress, you know, with our parents managing money, but we didn't always get the language around that stress.
• 29:31
  Arthi Rabikrisson: We didn't understand the system.
• 29:31
  Arthi Rabikrisson: So I think I also wish I'd understood earlier that earning more does not actually mean automatically I'm feeling free, because there. reality is, if you don't know how to manage money, more income is simply just going to create more expensive habits.
• 29:49
  Malika Petersen: Yeah, I think that you know that resonates so much because I mean, for me, I think I wish that I'd separated emotion from information sooner.
• 29:56
  Malika Petersen: Right. I think that so many of us learned money through stress, and I kind of wish that I had known earlier that a budget is not a prison. It's not a negative thing in any way, shape, or form.
• 30:10
  Arthi Rabikrisson: Yeah,
• 30:11
  Malika Petersen: it's a conversation with your future self. It's a plan for your future, right? I also wish that I'd practice asking. You know, can I afford this whole cost?
• 30:21
  Malika Petersen: Not just the monthly repayment, not just the deposit, the whole cost, the interest, the maintenance, the admin, the tax, the emotional stress, the things that I'm going to have to give up because of this cost, right?
• 30:30
  Malika Petersen: I mean, these these are all cost, and because something can be affordable monthly, it still can be expensive for you and your life.
• 30:40
  Arthi Rabikrisson: Oh, I like that. It's it's such a good lesson for our children. Okay, don't just ask, "Can I buy it?
• 30:48
  Arthi Rabikrisson: Ask, "What else becomes harder if I buy this? You know how interesting if we can get to that point, Malika. And for any adult who's listening, raising children while still healing from your own money story. I think this really matters. You don't have to be perfect to teach differently. You can learn and teach at the same time. You know, and you could be honest and say, "I didn't learn this early enough. But you know what?
• 31:12
  Arthi Rabikrisson: Learning it now, we're going to go through this learning together. I think that is such a great cycle breaking opportunity.
• 31:20
  Malika Petersen: Yeah, absolutely. And I mean, think on that note of cycle breaking opportunities. Let's leave our listeners with you know a simple seven day reset, and I mean this is this is all about raising financially free children, and this is your financially free raising financially free children reset, right? So on day one, we want you to just notice the money phrases that you use around children. No judgement, guys. Nobody's judging anybody here, right? We all make mistakes. We just want you to notice on day one. Day two, choose just one phrase to change. Just one. You know, it goes a long way. Trust us. On day three, have one calm money conversation with your child or younger person. Right, ask simple questions. What do you think money is for? And then listen, like really listen, so that you can understand and help. Day four, explain one money concept simply. It could be saving, it could be debt, it could be taxes, it could be interest, budgeting choices, trade-offs. Any of those, perfectly fine to do.
• 32:31
  Arthi Rabikrisson: On day five, how about giving them a small planning exercise? Something such as, oh, you want this item?
• 32:38
  Arthi Rabikrisson: Then let's work out how long it would take to save for it? I think that would be so useful, right? Day six, let a small money lesson land without you having to rescue them too quickly. Now, this might be one of the harder ones to do because we do want to rescue, right?
• 32:54
  Arthi Rabikrisson: Whether we're a parent, a guardian, aunt, uncle, we want to do this. But let this lesson learn, and on day seven, share one thing with them that you wish you had learned earlier about money. Remember, this is not about creating a perfect money classroom at home, no, but it's about making one conversation calmer, clearer, and more useful than the next.
• 33:15
  Arthi Rabikrisson: And I think with that, Malika, we are at our parting shots. I think we've shared so much. What would be your parting shot?
• 33:27
  Malika Petersen: Yeah, I think my parting shot is to all our listeners. Right, financial education is a love language.
• 33:36
  Malika Petersen: When you teach your children about saving, when you taking time to explain debt to them, when you talking to them about taxes, right? When you allowing these small money mistakes, and when you are removing shame from money conversations, you are not only teaching them financial skills, you're teaching them safety, you're teaching them patience, and you're teaching them responsibility.
• 34:01
  Arthi Rabikrisson: No, that is so beautiful. Thanks, Malika. I
• 34:04
  would say my parting shot is: if you are raising children while still healing from your own money story, just be gentle with yourself. You know, you don't have to be a perfect cycle breaker. Start with just one thing, one calmer sentence, one better explanation, one small money conversation. This is how a legacy actually begins to change.
• 34:30
  Malika Petersen: That is truly powerful,
• 34:33
  Arthi Rabikrisson: listeners. If this episode made you think of a child or a young person who needs healthier money language, please, please, please share it with someone who would value it.
• 34:43
  Malika Petersen: And as always, thank you for listening to the Swan Effect podcast this season.
• 34:46
  Malika Petersen: We are unpacking debt, debt, and taxes-not because they are easy, but because they shape the lives we build and the legacy that we leave behind.
• 34:58
  Arthi Rabikrisson: So, everyone, keep choosing a way. Courage and intention-you've got this. You can do it.
• 35:04
  Malika Petersen: Ciao for now.
• 35:06
  Arthi Rabikrisson: Ciao for now.
• 35:11
  Malika Petersen: Thanks for joining us. We hope you found these ideas and guidance useful.
• 35:16
  Arthi Rabikrisson: We're both seasoned in the investments industry. Malika is at the coalface of how, where, and why people invest the way they do.
• 35:26
  Malika Petersen: I certainly am, and you, Arthi, you've witnessed different types of investor behaviours around money too, and now work as a global award-winning coach to free us from the mindsets that stop us from becoming financially free.
• 35:42
  Arthi Rabikrisson: Do subscribe, share, and write a review or send us comments. We would love to hear from you.
• 35:48
  Malika Petersen: Catch you on the next episode
• 35:50
  Arthi Rabikrisson: of the Swan Effect Podcast.
• 35:53
  Malika Petersen: Bye for now.
• 35:54
  Arthi Rabikrisson: Ciao.