Latest / Reflect Reclaim & Liberate - with Sallyanne Hartnell / BONUS Christmas & Divorce - 12 Days of Christmas Giving to Yourself

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BONUS Christmas & Divorce - 12 Days of Christmas Giving to Yourself · Reflect Reclaim & Liberate - with Sallyanne Hartnell

• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Reflect, Reclaim and Liberate the podcast.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: Finding the space for all of you in life and love.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Sally Ann Hartel, and this podcast is for anyone wanting to reclaim and liberate themselves in their relationships and their life.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: Wherever you are on your relationship journey, these conversations meet you right there in soulful, deeply supportive DNMs with me and interviews with other gorgeous humans, moving you from where you are to where you most want to be.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: A life and love completely aligned with your deepest desires to have it all on your own terms.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: If you're seeking a relationship and a life that lights up all of you, you're in the right place.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'd also like to acknowledge that this podcast is recorded on the traditional lands of the Wurundri people and pay my respects to elders past, present, and emerging and acknowledge them as the original storytellers of this land.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to another episode of Reflect, Reclaim and Liberate.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: This is the last episode for the year.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: The last episode I'm going to record for 2022, and it's as such, it's a little bonus episode.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: This is a time of year that can be stressful and overwhelming at the very best of times when everything else in your life is calm and smooth and going well and easeful.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: But it can be even more so if you're navigating a challenging relationship, if you're considering separation or you're moving through a separation, newly separated, divorced, it can be a really, really hard time to navigate.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: Give you a little bit of encouragement because even though it feels really hard and really big, it doesn't need to feel that way, and it won't always feel that way.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: Particularly if this is your first Christmas after separation, divorce, it can feel really quite overwhelming, intimidating, all the things.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: It can be lonely, it can be sad, there can be grief, and so really I wanted to jump in here and give you a gift from me to you.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: So in this episode, I want to start by asking you a simple question.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: One simple question, and that is regardless of your relationship status, regardless of whether you're together, challenged, separated, divorced, one simple question, and that is what are you giving yourself this season?
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: What are you giving yourself this season?
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's a really simple question, but it's really it can be really quite loaded and complicated to answer.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: What are you giving yourself this season?
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: So this is an invitation from me to you to not leave yourself last on the list if that's something that you tend to do.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's an invitation to not leave yourself last on the list this year.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: And of course, that could mean that could really be a tangible gift.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: For example, on the weekend I bought myself a new necklace from one of my favourite local stores, local artisan stores, but it really could be something simpler, something that you deeply crave or desire, something less tangible than a necklace or a massage or a mani petty or whatever your thing is.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: Something that's perhaps tucked away, tucked down, hidden in your heart, in your mind, in your soul.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: Something that you've maybe not even recognised or allowed to rise up to consciousness, but something that you really, really want on a deeper level than the usual gifts that we give at this time of year.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: So, what are you giving yourself this season?
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: It is an invitation, it's an invitation to not leave yourself last on the list.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's an invitation to lean in to what you really, really want, yes, for the holiday season but beyond.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: Whether you celebrate Christmas or not, it is often a time of gift giving.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: What do you really crave, seek, want, desire, what's been missing?
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: What's that thing that's niggling at you that really wants recognition, that really wants to be seen, it wants to be allowed, it wants to rise up to your consciousness.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: What are you going to give yourself this season?
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: And beyond just that one simple and complex question, I wanted to give you 12 days.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: 12 days of gifting to yourself.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: So we're going to start at day one and we're going to go right through to day 12.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: Now feel free to take notes to write them down so you can use these as journal prompts.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: However, you can also download your own copy.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: I've created a PDF for you, so you can download your own copy via the link in the show notes.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're listening in the car or somewhere where you can't write, don't worry, listen, ponder, think, feel into these questions and these gifts to yourself and know that you can download the PDF when you finish listening.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: So my number one, day one of giving to yourself.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: Give yourself the gift of deciding.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: And so to this, I want you to ponder what was the most significant decision you made for yourself this past year.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: What was the most significant decision you made for yourself this year past?
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: And then if you're open, excuse me, you can also ponder the decision perhaps you'd most like to make in the new year.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: Or, if you're really brave, the decision you wish you'd already made.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: So day one of giving to yourself is give yourself the gift of deciding.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: Day two, twelve days of Christmas giving to yourself, day two.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: Give yourself the gift of abundance.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: Now abundance doesn't mean complete materialism, self-centeredness, it's not just financial.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: Abundance surrounds us, wraps us up, holds us in so many forms.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's present in our lives in so many ways, shapes, types, forms.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: But giving yourself the gift of abundance, ask yourself, what am I craving more of?
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: Acknowledge where abundance is already surrounding and supporting you.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: But what am I craving more of?
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: So your questions to ask or journal prompts or meditation kickstarters, meditation questions on day two, giving yourself the gift of abundance.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: I give myself.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: Day two, giving yourself the gift of abundance.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: Day three of giving to yourself is the gift of acknowledgement.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: The gift of acknowledgement of recognizing, reflecting, and honestly naming.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: On day three, I reflect, recognise, and honestly name exactly how I feel in this moment.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: I reflect, I recognise and honestly name exactly how I feel.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: Acknowledging our feelings, acknowledging how you feel in this moment.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: Further questions.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: What do I know?
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: What is true?
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: What do I feel?
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: I know.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: Dot dot dot I know, I feel.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: What is true?
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: Acknowledge your feelings, acknowledge your knowledge, acknowledge your truth.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: Day four of giving to yourself is giving yourself the gift of release.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: What is no longer for you?
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: What are you letting go of?
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: What are you releasing?
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: What are you no longer choosing, no longer allowing, no longer accepting?
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: So the questions to ponder, the journal prompts.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: On day four, giving yourself the gift of release.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: I release.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: I let go.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: I no longer choose, I no longer allow, I no longer accept.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: Give yourself the gift of release.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: Day five of giving to yourself, giving yourself the gift of truth.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: And this ties back into acknowledgement, release, abundance.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: Day five of giving yourself the gift of truth.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: And the journal prompt is simply the relationship I truly desire looks and feels like.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: Now you might choose to write a day in the life of, you might choose to cast your mind two, five, ten years' time into the future.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: You might choose to reflect, recognize, honestly, name how you feel about your relationship, and then take it further.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: Give yourself the gift of truth.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: Allow that truth to rise, allow it to be okay.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: The relationship I truly desire looks and feels like.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: Day six, give yourself the gift of dreaming.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: Give yourself the gift of future tripping, of dreaming about the future that you most want for yourself.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: Dare to dream, dare to dream big and wide.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: Gift yourself the time and space to dream.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: In all our busyness throughout the year, it can be really easy to just do and be in that constant energy of doing.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: This time can be so busy, but there are also pockets, there are also moments when we're not busy, when work is less demanding, when perhaps if you are separated, your kids are with your other parent.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: Give yourself time and space to dream and dare to dream big and wide and deep.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: Dare to dream big.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: When I think of my life in five years' time, I dot dot dot dot how do you want your life to look and feel in five years' time?
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if you've worked with me as a client, you know that this is something that we work on through coaching work together.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: We go two, five, ten, twenty years into the future and we talk about that and we define it and we work towards it.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: So give yourself the gift of dreaming.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: Dare to dream big and deep and wide.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: How do you want your life to look and feel in five years' time?
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: Day seven of giving to yourself.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: Give yourself the gift of desire.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: What would or what could happen if I gifted myself full permission to allow my desires to arise?
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: What could happen if I gifted myself full permission to allow my desires to rise?
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: Where are you perhaps not allowing your real desires to shine?
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: You're not allowing them to even come fully into your own consciousness.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: What even does full permission mean to you?
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: And what is it that you desire that you maybe aren't allowing to be okay for you?
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: What could happen if I gifted myself full permission to allow my desires to rise?
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: Give yourself the gift of desire.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: Number eight, day eight of giving to yourself.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: Give yourself the gift of embodiment.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: Ask if I gave myself the gift of showing up fully as myself, I would.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: If I were fully owning and embodying my sovereign self, my wholeness, my entire being, if I was showing up fully as myself, what would be different?
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: What would shift?
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: What would change?
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: Giving yourself the gift of embodiment.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: If I gave myself the gift of showing up as fully myself, fully in my body, fully embodied, I would dot dot dot.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: Day nine, give yourself the gift of possibility.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: If you gave yourself the gift to shift or change one thing, what would it be?
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: One thing big or small, one thing you could shift, one thing you could change.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: If you gave yourself the gift, the possibility of shifting or changing one thing, what would it be?
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: Of giving to yourself, give yourself the gift of expansion.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: What gifts do you feel might be waiting for you just beyond the horizon?
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: Just beyond your reach, just beyond what you believe is possible for you.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: What can you expand into?
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: What's waiting for you to claim it?
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: What's just outside your reach?
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: Just outside your vision, what's just outside your comfort zone?
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: What do you feel might or could be waiting for you if you allowed your own expansion?
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: Give yourself the gift of expansion.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: Day 11 of giving to yourself.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: Give yourself the gift of reclamation.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: If I reclaimed myself, if I reclaimed and stood fully in my personal power, I would.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: I would gift myself.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: If I reclaimed any lost or forgotten parts of myself, if I reclaim parts of me that I've set aside or left behind or let go, those parts that I've made small or wrong or not okay, those shadow parts that we don't really want to look at.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_00: If I reclaimed all of me and stood fully, solidly anchored in my own power, I would.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: What would you gift yourself if you were gifting yourself reclamation?
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: What could happen if you reclaimed all of who you are?
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: Day twelve of the twelve days of gifting to yourself?
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: Give yourself the gift of permission.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_00: What becomes possible if you give yourself full permission to claim the life you're dreaming of for yourself?
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: So day twelve, we are ending with a bang.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: What becomes possible for you if you give yourself the gift of permission?
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: If you open and allow anything to be yours.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: Give yourself the gift of permission.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: And an extra bonus, an extra bonus gift from me to you, in the middle of all the noise, all the craziness, all the busyness, all the overwhelm that this time of year can bring.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: Ask I want to ask you, I guess, what do you most want or need?
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: And so the little bonus question here, the bonus prompt what I would most like to give myself is fill the blanks.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: What I would most like to give myself is.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_00: And so going right back to the beginning, the one simple question, what are you giving yourself this season?
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: And we finish with what I would most like to give is.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_00: Merry Christmas, happy holidays, wishing you peace and kindness and compassion.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: If you have loved this episode or you've found it useful or helpful, please share it with a friend.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: As I said at the top of the episode, you can also download your own copy of these prompts in PDF via the link in the show notes.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: And again, give the gift of these gifts to someone you love who might need or feel supported and nurtured by them.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: And of course, if you would like to go deeper on these prompts and you want to explore that in a coaching experience with me, there's another link in the show notes for that.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_00: Download your PDF, 12 Days of Giving to Yourself, show notes, book a call with me if you want to explore working with me in the new year.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_00: And for now, thank you so much, so much for being here, for allowing me to share time and space with you for being part of this community.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: Happy holidays, Merry Christmas.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_00: I'll see you in the new year.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Stanley and the Button Relationship Coach, and you've been listening to Reflect, Reclaim, and Liberate.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: You can follow me on Instagram at ReflectCoaching.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: If you can see anyone who would love this episode, please, please share it with them.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'd also be so thankful if you follow me on the past in the previous episode so we can get in the whole episode.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_00: Just like you already reclaimed.