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Lux Radio Theatre - Sorrowful Jones · Lux Radio Theatre

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Of Sorrowful Jones, starring Bob Hope in the title role
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: as Sorrowful, Lucille Ball as Gladys, and little Mary Jane
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Saunders as Martha.
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: This is a love story. The story of Sorrowful Jones,
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: who fell in love with money at the age of six.
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: They've been going.
• 0:25
  Speaker 3: Steady ever since.
• 0:27
  Speaker 4: In Midtown New York.
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: Just off Broadway, there's a barber shop. Oh, no, our
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: hero is not a barber. He does his clipping in
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: the back of.
• 0:39
  Speaker 5: The barber shop.
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: It's called a horse room. And if the police knew
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: about it, they'd close it up. Because betting on horses,
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: except at the racetrack, is against the law.
• 0:49
  Speaker 6: All right, you guys, get in line. In line. Snap
• 0:55
  Speaker 6: out of it, boss. Dreamy Joe won. We got to
• 0:57
  Speaker 6: pay off these things.
• 0:58
  Speaker 5: I feel awful, Dreamy Joe. What right has a horse
• 1:00
  Speaker 5: like that got to win a race? He's so old,
• 1:02
  Speaker 5: they have to mix his oats with adrenaline. Come on, Sorrowful,
• 1:04
  Speaker 5: my dough, my dough. This kind of money will never
• 1:06
  Speaker 5: bring you any happiness. Me either.
• 1:08
  Speaker 7: Shell out.
• 1:09
  Speaker 5: We'll let go of it.
• 1:10
  Speaker 4: You're choking Lincoln.
• 1:11
  Speaker 5: I was just waving goodbye, and my hand got caught
• 1:13
  Speaker 5: in his beard. Say, wouldn't you like to bet it
• 1:15
  Speaker 5: all on the next race, huh? Wouldn't you? Give me it,
• 1:17
  Speaker 5: give me it Oh, that good old Dreamy Joe.
• 1:19
  Speaker 6: Hey, Tyra Don't bother him, Sam He's giving his blood away.
• 1:23
  Speaker 8: I'll bother him Big Steve wants you, you should come
• 1:26
  Speaker 8: over to his cafe.
• 1:27
  Speaker 5: Right away Big Steve, huh? Hey, doesn't Big Steve own
• 1:30
  Speaker 5: Dreamy Joe? What'd he do, tip everybody in the street
• 1:32
  Speaker 5: except me? He knew Dreamy Joe was gonna win It
• 1:34
  Speaker 5: was a boat race, a big frame They ought to
• 1:36
  Speaker 5: bar guys like that from racing I don't come running
• 1:39
  Speaker 5: just because a guy like Big Steve wants to see.
• 1:40
  Speaker 7: Me What'd you say?
• 1:42
  Speaker 5: That a guy like Big Steve can't make me come running. Look, punk.
• 1:46
  Speaker 5: Let's take an old-fashioned walk.
• 1:50
  Speaker 9: Well, the nose that walks like a man.
• 1:55
  Speaker 4: Oh, I'm sorry, honey.
• 1:56
  Speaker 5: Guess I wasn't watching. Gladys.
• 1:58
  Speaker 9: Hello, Sorrowful. I recognized the suit as soon as you
• 2:01
  Speaker 9: turned the corner.
• 2:02
  Speaker 5: I got it to train to turn with me or something. Say,
• 2:06
  Speaker 5: don't knock this suit. Some people seem to forget what
• 2:08
  Speaker 5: some people used to spend on some people.
• 2:10
  Speaker 4: Spend?
• 2:11
  Speaker 9: Where did you ever learn that word?
• 2:12
  Speaker 5: Yeah, well, I'd like to have a nickel for every
• 2:14
  Speaker 5: bottle of champagne I bought you.
• 2:16
  Speaker 9: I was more naive then. I believed that you could
• 2:19
  Speaker 9: make champagne by mixing ginger ale and rubbing alcohol. Anyway, I... Oh, look, Sorrowful,
• 2:26
  Speaker 9: what beautiful violets. And only 25 cents a bun.
• 2:29
  Speaker 5: Come on, Gladys, they've got dangerous thorns.
• 2:32
  Speaker 9: Yeah, same old Sorrowful.
• 2:34
  Speaker 5: You got me all wrong. I'm a big man now.
• 2:36
  Speaker 5: Since we folded in the gaieties, I've been going places
• 2:38
  Speaker 5: in show business.
• 2:39
  Speaker 9: I hear it's win place in show business.
• 2:42
  Speaker 5: So I'm hustling, Beth. It's a living, practically honest.
• 2:44
  Speaker 9: Well, I have to make a living, too, and this
• 2:46
  Speaker 9: is it.
• 2:47
  Speaker 5: You mean here in Big Steve's Cafe? Well... Hey, this
• 2:50
  Speaker 5: is a nice picture of you here on the poster.
• 2:52
  Speaker 10: Thank you.
• 2:53
  Speaker 5: Beautiful job of retouching.
• 2:54
  Speaker 9: Oh.
• 2:55
  Speaker 5: Who are you supposed to be, Ichabod or Mr.
• 2:57
  Speaker 4: Toad?
• 2:59
  Speaker 9: I've been singing here three months, Sorrowful. Why haven't you
• 3:02
  Speaker 9: dropped by?
• 3:02
  Speaker 5: Well, I understood you were going with Big Steve.
• 3:05
  Speaker 9: Well, he doesn't like me to have other boyfriends. But
• 3:08
  Speaker 9: I could tell him you were my aunt, couldn't I? Well,
• 3:11
  Speaker 9: so long, Sorrowful.
• 3:12
  Speaker 5: Oh, no, I'm going in, too.
• 3:13
  Speaker 9: Hey, Big Steve can get awful nasty.
• 3:15
  Speaker 5: You don't think I'm afraid of him, do you? Not me, kid.
• 3:17
  Speaker 5: I can handle my fists.
• 3:19
  Speaker 9: Yes, I remember. While you were handling your fists, somebody
• 3:22
  Speaker 9: else was handling your head.
• 3:25
  Speaker 5: Well, you've never heard my courage questioned.
• 3:27
  Speaker 9: I've never even heard it mentioned. Well, I've got to rehearse. Oh,
• 3:32
  Speaker 9: there is his office, Sorrowful.
• 3:33
  Speaker 5: Well, you think I'm kidding, don't you? Just watch me.
• 3:37
  Speaker 5: Is Big Steve in there?
• 3:38
  Speaker 4: Get in here. Well, hiya, fellas. Oh, hiya, fellas.
• 3:43
  Speaker 5: Well, I didn't expect a crowd. I see every bookmaker
• 3:45
  Speaker 5: in town is here. Hey, what do you think you're doing, Steve?
• 3:48
  Speaker 5: You can't push us around. I'm gonna.
• 3:49
  Speaker 4: Shut your mouth.
• 3:50
  Speaker 5: Well, you can't push us around, I'll tell you that.
• 3:54
  Speaker 11: Now that we're all here, Steve, what's on your mind?
• 3:56
  Speaker 7: Okay.
• 3:57
  Speaker 4: You guys all know I own a horse named Dreamy Joe.
• 4:00
  Speaker 4: I knew he was gonna win today. Guess you bookies
• 4:03
  Speaker 4: lost your shirt there.
• 4:04
  Speaker 5: Just look at me. I had to starch my stomach
• 4:06
  Speaker 5: and tie my hair on my chest into a Windsor knot.
• 4:10
  Speaker 4: Well, next time Dreamy Joe is out, he's going to lose.
• 4:13
  Speaker 4: And I want a thousand bucks apiece from you guys
• 4:15
  Speaker 4: just for making him lose.
• 4:16
  Speaker 5: A thousand bucks, huh? And how do we know that
• 4:19
  Speaker 5: as soon as you get our dough, you won't turn
• 4:20
  Speaker 5: right around and.
• 4:21
  Speaker 4: And what?
• 4:22
  Speaker 12: Yeah.
• 4:23
  Speaker 7: And what, Sarapu?
• 4:25
  Speaker 5: Well, you turn around and around and... Fella could get
• 4:29
  Speaker 5: dizzy that way.
• 4:31
  Speaker 4: All right, Doc, explain things.
• 4:32
  Speaker 5: Well, it's like this, gentlemen. Dreamy Joe only wins when
• 4:36
  Speaker 5: I give him one of these pills.
• 4:37
  Speaker 7: It's a speedball.
• 4:38
  Speaker 5: One more speedball, well, Dreamy Joe will win the race,
• 4:40
  Speaker 5: but an hour later, he'll be dead.
• 4:42
  Speaker 4: Yeah, we could give him the speedball now, but I'm
• 4:44
  Speaker 4: waiting till I got a big bankroll to bet on him.
• 4:46
  Speaker 4: So for now, I'll just take a grand from each
• 4:48
  Speaker 4: of you. And the next time out, Dreamy Joe loses.
• 4:51
  Speaker 4: Fair enough?
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 4:53
  Speaker 7: Okay, sir, a full hand over the fair.
• 4:55
  Speaker 5: Oh, I don't handle that kind of money, Sam. I
• 4:57
  Speaker 5: don't even know what it looks like. Whose picture's on
• 4:59
  Speaker 5: the $ 1, 000 bill? Washington, Jefferson, or Jolson?
• 5:04
  Speaker 8: I hear different. I hear tell you are a very
• 5:07
  Speaker 8: thrifty character.
• 5:08
  Speaker 6: Oh, now, I'm just a little careful.
• 5:10
  Speaker 5: I may have some small change with me. Let's see
• 5:13
  Speaker 5: what I've got in my pocket. There's my skate key,
• 5:14
  Speaker 5: my Sky King X-ray ring, and uranium finder. And a
• 5:18
  Speaker 5: lock of hair from Jane Russell's Cocker Spaniel. Well, what
• 5:22
  Speaker 5: do you know? No money.
• 5:23
  Speaker 4: I suppose we'll have to get it the hard way, huh?
• 5:25
  Speaker 5: No, no, I only... Hey, hey, what are you doing
• 5:28
  Speaker 5: to me?
• 5:28
  Speaker 7: Just going into the vault.
• 5:30
  Speaker 5: Yeah, but that's my shirt. You'll tear my shirt.
• 5:32
  Speaker 7: There it is, boy. A money belt tied around his tummy. Boy,
• 5:35
  Speaker 7: is he loaded.
• 5:36
  Speaker 5: Well, I might have a little here, fellas. It's my
• 5:39
  Speaker 5: mad money.
• 5:40
  Speaker 4: Here you are, Steve.
• 5:41
  Speaker 5: Here's a G.
• 5:42
  Speaker 4: Now get out of here.
• 5:45
  Speaker 5: And don't let it happen again. Next time, I'll lose
• 5:47
  Speaker 5: my temper.
• 5:48
  Speaker 9: Oh, leaving so soon, Sorrowful?
• 5:50
  Speaker 5: Oh, I got a big deal cooking, Gladys, but I'll
• 5:52
  Speaker 5: be around.
• 5:53
  Speaker 9: Well, just be sure to come before 6 o'clock. That's
• 5:55
  Speaker 9: when the price is changed. Pick it up, Joe.
• 5:59
  Speaker 8: The stars look.
• 6:00
  Speaker 9: Down, they seem to say.
• 6:04
  Speaker 5: Maybe love is not its way.
• 6:07
  Speaker 7: I'm having a wonderful wish.
• 6:16
  Speaker 6: Hey, sorrowful. Gosh, boss, am I glad to see you.
• 6:19
  Speaker 6: Everybody in town's betting on Dreamy Joe. If that nag
• 6:22
  Speaker 6: wins again, you're clean now.
• 6:23
  Speaker 5: Oh, boy, look at this money piling up. I may
• 6:25
  Speaker 5: have to open a branch mattress. All right, who's next?
• 6:27
  Speaker 5: Come on, boys, put something in the pot.
• 6:29
  Speaker 4: $ 20 on Dreamy Joe to win.
• 6:31
  Speaker 6: Okay, mister, but where's the 20 bucks?
• 6:33
  Speaker 4: Well, I was hoping you'd take my marker.
• 6:35
  Speaker 5: Look, brother, we don't take IOUs from three kinds of people, men, women,
• 6:38
  Speaker 5: and children.
• 6:39
  Speaker 4: But I just don't have it at the moment.
• 6:41
  Speaker 5: Pick up your marker, chum. Have it dyed green and
• 6:43
  Speaker 5: come back. Some nerve. Hey, little girl, what are you
• 6:45
  Speaker 5: doing here?
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: Hello?
• 6:47
  Speaker 5: Hey, somebody heist the kid up on the counter so
• 6:48
  Speaker 5: she can make her bet.
• 6:49
  Speaker 7: Oh.
• 6:54
  Speaker 6: She's my little girl.
• 6:55
  Speaker 5: Yeah, well, ekte ide idke omhe.
• 6:58
  Speaker 3: But I don't want to go home.
• 7:02
  Speaker 5: Hey, you're pretty smart.
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: I'm four years old, and I can count to ten.
• 7:06
  Speaker 5: Yeah? That's big talk. Let's see you back it up.
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: All right, I'll count your money.
• 7:10
  Speaker 5: Now, give me that. Give me that. She's over four.
• 7:13
  Speaker 12: Out, out.
• 7:13
  Speaker 5: Take the kid home.
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: Let's go, Daddy. I remember him in that book you read.
• 7:18
  Speaker 3: He is a monster.
• 7:21
  Speaker 5: Monster? There's a little bit of Crosby in you, kid. Now,
• 7:26
  Speaker 5: watch yourself. I run this joint. I got plenty of
• 7:28
  Speaker 5: friends on my side.
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: I'm sorry.
• 7:31
  Speaker 5: Yeah, well... Okay, then. Here. Here's a penny.
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: But even Nickers cost two pennies.
• 7:40
  Speaker 5: What are they making out of now, coffee?
• 7:45
  Speaker 4: Martha Jane.
• 7:46
  Speaker 5: That's all right. The kid's right.
• 7:47
  Speaker 9: Here.
• 7:48
  Speaker 5: Here's two cents. Go stuff yourself.
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: Oh, thank you very much.
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: Mr.
• 7:52
  Speaker 6: Jones, I've got a friend down the street.
• 7:54
  Speaker 4: I know he'll let me have the 20.
• 7:54
  Speaker 5: Yeah, well, hurry down.
• 7:56
  Speaker 9: Well, if you could let me place my bet.
• 7:57
  Speaker 5: Now, I.
• 7:58
  Speaker 7: I'd leave Martha Jane here till I get back.
• 8:00
  Speaker 13: Dreamy Joe's my only chance to get even.
• 8:02
  Speaker 5: Oh, you want to bet on Dreamy Joe, huh? Well,
• 8:04
  Speaker 5: take his marker, regret.
• 8:05
  Speaker 4: Well, be a good girl, Martha Jane.
• 8:07
  Speaker 5: I'll be right back.
• 8:08
  Speaker 6: What happened, boss? I didn't see him pull no gun
• 8:10
  Speaker 6: on you.
• 8:11
  Speaker 5: Don't you understand? Dreamy Joe, he can't possibly win. It's
• 8:13
  Speaker 5: a frame-up, a fix.
• 8:15
  Speaker 6: A boat race?
• 8:15
  Speaker 5: And Dreamy Joe is on the slowest boat, as jockey
• 8:17
  Speaker 5: as Grandma Moses. Not only that, they're going to slip
• 8:20
  Speaker 5: the horse uphill.
• 8:22
  Speaker 6: How's that going to make him lose?
• 8:23
  Speaker 5: It's a four-way code tablet. He won't know which way
• 8:25
  Speaker 5: to run. Okay, fellas, step right up and place your bets.
• 8:29
  Speaker 5: That Dreamy Joe looks awfully good.
• 8:30
  Speaker 4: No problem, fellas.
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: One at a time.
• 8:39
  Speaker 7: That's right, Steve.
• 8:40
  Speaker 8: I find this guy right outside the office door.
• 8:42
  Speaker 7: He listened to what you say. Steve, please.
• 8:45
  Speaker 4: I didn't mean to listen. I came here hoping you'd
• 8:47
  Speaker 4: loan me $ 20. What did you hear?
• 8:49
  Speaker 7: Honest, Steve, I don't... He says, what did you hear?
• 8:52
  Speaker 7: You know what I heard.
• 8:54
  Speaker 4: Talking about the race, weren't you?
• 8:55
  Speaker 7: You fixed it so Dreamy Joe can't win.
• 8:57
  Speaker 4: And what are you going to do about it?
• 8:58
  Speaker 7: I've ruined my life on horses.
• 9:00
  Speaker 4: I'm washed up, broke.
• 9:01
  Speaker 5: But there's one thing I can still do.
• 9:03
  Speaker 4: I'm getting out of here, and I'm going to the police.
• 9:05
  Speaker 7: You're going where? Seems to me he mentions the law.
• 9:08
  Speaker 5: If it's the last thing I do, I'm going to
• 9:09
  Speaker 5: see the guys like you.
• 9:10
  Speaker 7: We better get rid of him, boys, for good.
• 9:16
  Speaker 4: Yeah. I'll get the car, meet you around back.
• 9:21
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 9:22
  Speaker 4: They're passing across the line of finish now with Green
• 9:24
  Speaker 4: Demon winning it by two lengths.
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: Furthest champ is second, Bingo is third, and Dreamy Joe
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: is fourth.
• 9:29
  Speaker 4: Well, that's it, boys. Too bad, eh?
• 9:33
  Speaker 13: Okay, sir, before you can take your fingers out.
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: Of your ears.
• 9:36
  Speaker 12: Huh?
• 9:37
  Speaker 6: You was right. Dreamy Joe lost.
• 9:39
  Speaker 5: Oh, how about that? The last thing I heard, he
• 9:41
  Speaker 5: was out in front. What was that crook jockey trying
• 9:43
  Speaker 5: to do, win? Oh, I got to get out of
• 9:46
  Speaker 5: this racket, Regret. This is too much of a strain.
• 9:48
  Speaker 5: I wonder if it's too late to get into television.
• 9:50
  Speaker 6: You've had a big day, boys. $ 4, 200. $ 4, 200.
• 9:53
  Speaker 5: Boy, I feel better already. Maybe if we could plant
• 9:57
  Speaker 5: a little of this, we could grow a money tree, huh?
• 10:00
  Speaker 4: Hey, what's this?
• 10:01
  Speaker 6: That's the tab we took for that guy's 20. Well,
• 10:03
  Speaker 6: didn't he come back?
• 10:04
  Speaker 4: No.
• 10:04
  Speaker 5: When he does, get the 20 before he takes back
• 10:06
  Speaker 5: his kid.
• 10:07
  Speaker 6: The kid? Well, where is she?
• 10:09
  Speaker 5: Well, she was sitting right over.
• 10:11
  Speaker 6: How do you like that?
• 10:12
  Speaker 4: Gone.
• 10:13
  Speaker 5: Every time I get big-hearted.
• 10:14
  Speaker 6: When was the other time? Oh, forget it, boss. Let's
• 10:18
  Speaker 6: go over to Big Steve and celebrate.
• 10:20
  Speaker 5: We got nothing to celebrate. Besides, I wouldn't pay a
• 10:22
  Speaker 5: cover charge to hear Gladys sing. She sounds like Jessica
• 10:25
  Speaker 5: with her net dragon. I'm going out and look around
• 10:28
  Speaker 5: for that doll.
• 10:29
  Speaker 6: Okay, I'll close up here.
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: You can't close until my daddy gets back.
• 10:33
  Speaker 6: Hey, where are you?
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: Right here under the counter.
• 10:36
  Speaker 6: How do you like that?
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: I guess I must have fallen asleep.
• 10:39
  Speaker 6: Oh, I hate to turn a sweet little doll like
• 10:41
  Speaker 6: you over to sorrowful, but I've got three miles to feed.
• 10:45
  Speaker 6: Two on my wife.
• 10:46
  Speaker 3: But what will I do?
• 10:48
  Speaker 6: Sorrowful will find you, Pop. There ain't nobody sorrowful can't
• 10:51
  Speaker 6: find that owes him 20 bucks.
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: But I'm hungry.
• 10:53
  Speaker 6: Tell you what I'll do, kiddo. I'll take you over
• 10:56
  Speaker 6: there to Big Steve's Cafe and put on the feed bag.
• 10:58
  Speaker 6: Come on. We'll know what to do after we get
• 11:00
  Speaker 6: the nourishment.
• 11:06
  Speaker 14: Why must they keep the moon so bright?
• 11:12
  Speaker 5: I won't sleep a wink tonight. I'm having a wonderful wish.
• 11:21
  Speaker 7: I've been waiting so long.
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: Time you were here.
• 11:32
  Speaker 6: Oh, good evening, Salford. For a guy that wasn't coming here,
• 11:35
  Speaker 6: you're awful present.
• 11:36
  Speaker 5: Well, my Boy Scout troop is holding a meeting here tonight.
• 11:38
  Speaker 5: The victim-owned Beaver Patrol. So you found the doll, I regret.
• 11:43
  Speaker 5: What about my 20 bucks? Have you got it, or
• 11:44
  Speaker 5: can I tie my shoelace?
• 11:46
  Speaker 6: Well, what about her you-know-what?
• 11:48
  Speaker 5: Her you-know-what has taken a powder. We hold her till
• 11:50
  Speaker 5: he comes across.
• 11:51
  Speaker 3: I'm awfully hungry.
• 11:53
  Speaker 5: Hungry? What about that two cents worth of licorice? You
• 11:55
  Speaker 5: want to get jowls? You want to look like a
• 11:58
  Speaker 5: four-year-old Kate Smith? Or a five-year-old Ted Collins.
• 12:03
  Speaker 6: Sit down, honey.
• 12:03
  Speaker 9: Well, I didn't expect to see you back here so soon.
• 12:07
  Speaker 5: Oh, hello, Gladys.
• 12:08
  Speaker 4: Say, I heard you.
• 12:08
  Speaker 5: You've been taking singing lessons, huh?
• 12:10
  Speaker 3: That's right.
• 12:11
  Speaker 5: Now, if you can get your singing teacher to take
• 12:12
  Speaker 5: some lessons, you're all set.
• 12:16
  Speaker 9: Are you babysitting to earn some spending money?
• 12:19
  Speaker 5: Oh, you mean this little doll here?
• 12:20
  Speaker 6: Her father left her in the horse room for a
• 12:22
  Speaker 6: $ 20 market. The horse lost, and her old man ain't showed.
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: I want my daddy back.
• 12:27
  Speaker 9: What's your name, dear?
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: Martha Jean Smith.
• 12:30
  Speaker 9: Well, do you know where you live?
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: I live in a big, tall house with lots and
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: lots of windows and doors.
• 12:36
  Speaker 9: You better call the police, Sorrowful. They'll know what to do.
• 12:39
  Speaker 5: Not on your life. Why, they'd fingerprint her. She'd have
• 12:41
  Speaker 5: a record overnight.
• 12:42
  Speaker 6: Besides, Sorrowful loves Martha Jean very much. Twenty bucks worth.
• 12:47
  Speaker 3: I'm hungry.
• 12:49
  Speaker 9: Haven't you ordered her anything to eat?
• 12:51
  Speaker 8: Eat?
• 12:51
  Speaker 5: You want to ruin this kid's figure?
• 12:52
  Speaker 9: Sorrowful doesn't like Oh, of course he likes you, Martha,
• 12:56
  Speaker 9: and he's going to buy you a big dinner.
• 12:58
  Speaker 5: Big dinner, yes.
• 13:00
  Speaker 9: If he doesn't, I'm going to call the cops myself,
• 13:02
  Speaker 9: and then Uncle Sorrowful will be out 20 big crisp
• 13:06
  Speaker 9: dollar bills.
• 13:07
  Speaker 7: Okay.
• 13:08
  Speaker 5: Waiter, bring this little lady to work. It's a bowl
• 13:10
  Speaker 5: of cornflakes, two spoons.
• 13:11
  Speaker 4: Hey, I got a little kid like that at home.
• 13:19
  Speaker 4: I feed her steak for supper.
• 13:21
  Speaker 5: After the tip you're going to get, she'll be back
• 13:22
  Speaker 5: on cornflakes.
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: I like steak for supper.
• 13:26
  Speaker 5: Kid's been around. Why don't you order filet mignon?
• 13:29
  Speaker 3: Oh, thank you. And a fleshy one, please.
• 13:32
  Speaker 9: And a baked potato and some spinach.
• 13:34
  Speaker 5: And a nice big glass of milk and some strawberry shortcake.
• 13:37
  Speaker 4: That's what I give my kid for supper.
• 13:39
  Speaker 5: Now, what can I do for you? Adopt me.
• 13:46
  Speaker 6: Hey, look, boys. Martha Jane. She's falling asleep right here
• 13:54
  Speaker 6: at the table.
• 13:55
  Speaker 9: Which reminds me, where does she spend the night? You
• 13:58
  Speaker 9: better take her to your place and put her to bed.
• 14:00
  Speaker 5: I'm no nursemaid. Besides, my room is too small. I
• 14:02
  Speaker 5: have to sleep with one leg out in the hall.
• 14:05
  Speaker 5: Why couldn't one of you?
• 14:06
  Speaker 9: I'd like to, Sorrowful, but I don't finish until one o'clock,
• 14:09
  Speaker 9: and this poor kid's got to get to bed now.
• 14:10
  Speaker 6: Look, we only got one bed in my house, and
• 14:12
  Speaker 6: my wife even objects to me sharing it.
• 14:14
  Speaker 5: Well, let's wake the kid up. We'll slip her some
• 14:16
  Speaker 5: strong coffee. Maybe she'll think of something cheap.
• 14:20
  Speaker 9: Oh, Sorrowful, for once in your life, why don't you
• 14:22
  Speaker 9: do something nice for somebody?
• 14:24
  Speaker 5: Okay, okay. I'm the fall guy. I can see it
• 14:27
  Speaker 5: all coming. The minute I make a few bucks, everybody
• 14:29
  Speaker 5: wants to move in. Say, waiter, will you wrap up
• 14:32
  Speaker 5: the rest of that steak for my dog?
• 14:33
  Speaker 4: I'll get a bag.
• 14:34
  Speaker 6: You haven't got a dog.
• 14:36
  Speaker 5: Quiet. Come on, Short. Wake up, Short. This is it.
• 14:39
  Speaker 5: We travel.
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: Didn't my daddy come yet?
• 14:42
  Speaker 5: No, but if he doesn't come by morning, I'm going
• 14:44
  Speaker 5: to put an ad in the scratch sheet.
• 14:46
  Speaker 9: Sorrowful will be very nice to you, honey. He'll take
• 14:48
  Speaker 9: care of you until your daddy comes.
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: I guess you're really not a monster, Mr. Sorrowful. You
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: just look like one.
• 14:55
  Speaker 11: Yeah, yeah, I just look like one.
• 15:01
  Speaker 5: Come on, blow.
• 15:03
  Speaker 9: Mr.
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: Sorrowful, will you help me with these buttons, please?
• 15:10
  Speaker 5: You mean I got to undress you, too? What kind
• 15:12
  Speaker 5: of buttons are these? You sure you haven't got this
• 15:14
  Speaker 5: thing on backwards, or were you in the Navy? Honey,
• 15:18
  Speaker 5: you mustn't laugh on this show. You'll start a trend.
• 15:25
  Speaker 4: Steady now, steady.
• 15:26
  Speaker 3: Now, where's the bathroom, please?
• 15:29
  Speaker 5: The powder room is over there.
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: Thank you.
• 15:33
  Speaker 5: Just get going, shorts, and I'll fix your bed. Ah,
• 15:36
  Speaker 5: she can sleep on the sofa. I'll just put this
• 15:38
  Speaker 5: sheet over it, toss on a blanket, and give her
• 15:40
  Speaker 5: this pillow. Now, this is the soft one. I'll give
• 15:42
  Speaker 5: her the other pillow. The one that's stuffed with Luxe wrappers. Okay, shorts,
• 15:52
  Speaker 5: come on, hit the sack. Your bed's all ready.
• 15:54
  Speaker 12: I'm coming.
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: Good night.
• 15:55
  Speaker 5: Good night. Watch the snoring, see? I'm a very... Hey, hey,
• 15:58
  Speaker 5: that's my bed.
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: I know it is, and it's very nice of you
• 16:01
  Speaker 3: to let me sleep in it.
• 16:03
  Speaker 5: But this sofa, I just made up the... Okay. Okay, Princess.
• 16:08
  Speaker 5: You sure you're comfortable?
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: Oh, yes. It's nice and soft.
• 16:11
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 16:11
  Speaker 5: Well, can I get you anything? A salami sandwich or
• 16:14
  Speaker 5: slug of pablum?
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: Mr. Salford, I want my daddy.
• 16:20
  Speaker 5: You want your daddy. What makes two of us?
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: My daddy used to sing to me when I couldn't sleep.
• 16:26
  Speaker 5: Oh, that's nice.
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: Please couldn't sing. Then I wouldn't feel so lonesome and scared.
• 16:31
  Speaker 5: If I start singing in here, we'll both be lonesome. Okay,
• 16:35
  Speaker 5: you gotta have singing to go to sleep.
• 16:36
  Speaker 4: How's this?
• 16:37
  Speaker 5: Mule train!
• 16:39
  Speaker 14: Now, that's just good for putting mules to sleep.
• 16:48
  Speaker 9: Let me see.
• 17:01
  Speaker 5: Got to have singing. Sweet Adeline, my... No. Need two
• 17:06
  Speaker 5: other guys and Phil Harris for that. Look, I just
• 17:10
  Speaker 5: happen to have the racing form here. I'll read you
• 17:12
  Speaker 5: a story, huh?
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: Please sing.
• 17:14
  Speaker 5: Okay.
• 17:16
  Speaker 12: Rock-a-bye baby at Pimlico Here's a smart horse, I'll bet
• 17:22
  Speaker 12: him to show This one's a sleeper, hope you're the
• 17:27
  Speaker 12: same Here's a good jockey.
• 17:30
  Speaker 5: Sandman's his name.
• 17:32
  Speaker 12: Lie in your paddock, count winning sheep.
• 17:36
  Speaker 5: Put twenty-five fish on little boat.
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: What a corny character. But I guess he means well.
• 17:52
  Speaker 9: No, no, no, no.
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: In just a few moments, we'll be back with Act
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: Two of Sorrowful Jones.
• 18:09
  Speaker 9: I am a force, I'm young and free.
• 18:12
  Speaker 14: You've got no power over me, no power over me.
• 18:15
  Speaker 14: I'm sick of smoke, I'm sick of smoke from cigarettes
• 18:18
  Speaker 14: and sick of those with nothing else to do. Because
• 18:21
  Speaker 14: I know what is what and what is not. The
• 18:31
  Speaker 14: thing to do. The thing to do.
• 18:35
  Speaker 9: My friends and.
• 18:38
  Speaker 14: I get in on it. Got no intention to get
• 18:41
  Speaker 14: sick on lousy cigarettes. The thing to do. I'm energy.
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: I'm everywhere.
• 18:46
  Speaker 14: Don't care about the image. I'm always gonna be.
• 18:48
  Speaker 6: The thing to do.
• 18:49
  Speaker 9: Ha!
• 18:49
  Speaker 14: Cause I know what is what.
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: And what is not, not, not.
• 18:59
  Speaker 10: And now, here again is your host.
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: The curtain rises on the second act of Sorrowful Jones,
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: starring Bob Hope and Lucille Ball.
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: Well, it's early the following morning, and a visitor has
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: just arrived at Sorrowful Jones' apartment.
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: Is that my daddy? It's me, honey.
• 19:29
  Speaker 12: Gladys.
• 19:30
  Speaker 9: Well, some place you've got, Sorrowful. Just the thing for
• 19:33
  Speaker 9: a kid. What time do the bats fly out?
• 19:37
  Speaker 5: I don't keep track of them as long as they
• 19:38
  Speaker 5: pay their rent. What brings you here?
• 19:41
  Speaker 9: I've got some oatmeal here for her breakfast.
• 19:42
  Speaker 5: What'd you think I was going to give her?
• 19:43
  Speaker 4: Pickled octopus?
• 19:45
  Speaker 5: I got coffee in the stove right now. Yeah, and donuts.
• 19:48
  Speaker 9: That's what I thought. Mr.
• 19:50
  Speaker 3: Seifold, why is she not called?
• 19:53
  Speaker 5: Okay, I've been giving her a bath, the things you
• 19:56
  Speaker 5: got to do for 20 bucks.
• 19:58
  Speaker 9: Well, I'll finish your bath and then I'll make her
• 20:00
  Speaker 9: some breakfast. Boy, it's a good thing I showed up.
• 20:03
  Speaker 9: She'd have the first case of Barry Barry on Broadway.
• 20:06
  Speaker 4: Very, very.
• 20:07
  Speaker 5: Does she have to have two of everything?
• 20:08
  Speaker 9: How you doing, honey?
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: Well, I'm doing fine.
• 20:13
  Speaker 9: Now, where's that washcloth?
• 20:15
  Speaker 5: Just look at the high gloss I got on her shoulders.
• 20:17
  Speaker 4: Well, this is a nice homey picture.
• 20:20
  Speaker 9: Steve.
• 20:20
  Speaker 4: Big Steve. Always lock your door, sorrowful. That's rule number one.
• 20:24
  Speaker 4: Come here, I want to talk to you.
• 20:26
  Speaker 5: Oh, I can explain everything, Steve. I guess you're thinking
• 20:29
  Speaker 5: the minute you turn your back, Gladys runs into some
• 20:31
  Speaker 5: handsome guy's apartment.
• 20:33
  Speaker 4: If that occurs to you again, just take a good
• 20:34
  Speaker 4: look in the mirror.
• 20:35
  Speaker 12: Yes.
• 20:37
  Speaker 5: No cracks about my face Cary Grant is so jealous
• 20:40
  Speaker 5: of me He's having another hole drilled in his chin.
• 20:45
  Speaker 4: I, uh I came by here to make you a
• 20:47
  Speaker 4: business proposition Oh, well, after.
• 20:49
  Speaker 5: What I won on Dreamy Joe yesterday It's like you
• 20:51
  Speaker 5: were singing in my.
• 20:52
  Speaker 4: Ear I need 5,000 bucks now Song's over I said
• 20:56
  Speaker 4: I need dough Now write out a check I'm gonna
• 20:59
  Speaker 4: run Dreamy Joe again Only this time he wins He's
• 21:02
  Speaker 4: getting that last speedball.
• 21:04
  Speaker 5: Yeah, but 5,000 dollars?
• 21:06
  Speaker 4: You heard me Okay, okay.
• 21:08
  Speaker 5: $ 5, 000. I don't know if there's enough blood in my
• 21:11
  Speaker 5: fountain pen.
• 21:13
  Speaker 4: The check, the check. You forgot to sign it.
• 21:15
  Speaker 5: I don't have to. The bank will recognize the teardrops.
• 21:20
  Speaker 4: By the way, the racing commission just took away my license.
• 21:23
  Speaker 5: Oh, well, that's different. No license, no race. Well, I'll
• 21:25
  Speaker 5: tear up the check.
• 21:26
  Speaker 4: Now, look. You just have to find a new owner,
• 21:28
  Speaker 4: that's all. And my friend Doc Adams slips in the
• 21:31
  Speaker 4: speedball and dreamy Joe wins. You'll have so much money,
• 21:34
  Speaker 4: you'll have to crawl over it to get to bed.
• 21:36
  Speaker 5: Yeah, gee, money. Now I'll be able to get what
• 21:39
  Speaker 5: I've always wanted, more money.
• 21:43
  Speaker 4: Go ahead, Sorrowful, give me the check.
• 21:44
  Speaker 8: Check?
• 21:44
  Speaker 5: Say, if it's that good, you can have the cash.
• 21:46
  Speaker 5: Now turn around while I get it out of my sock.
• 21:49
  Speaker 4: Holy cow, what a bankroll. Stop peeking.
• 21:53
  Speaker 5: Okay, here, five Gs.
• 21:55
  Speaker 4: Thanks. Now look, about our new owner.
• 21:57
  Speaker 9: Mr.
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: Sorrowful, I'm all dry now.
• 21:59
  Speaker 5: Well, get wet again. I'm busy.
• 22:02
  Speaker 4: Hey, hey, what about her? Gladys? No, no, the kid
• 22:05
  Speaker 4: in there. She has kind of an honest face.
• 22:07
  Speaker 12: Hey, not bad.
• 22:09
  Speaker 5: Shorts couldn't double-cross us, could she?
• 22:11
  Speaker 7: Who is she?
• 22:12
  Speaker 5: Oh, one of the neighbor's kids. I rent her my tub.
• 22:16
  Speaker 4: What's her name?
• 22:17
  Speaker 5: Uh, Martha Jane Smith.
• 22:19
  Speaker 4: All right, tell her she's got her horse running in
• 22:20
  Speaker 4: the feature race on Thursday. And tell her not to
• 22:22
  Speaker 4: go shooting her mouth off to the other kids.
• 22:25
  Speaker 5: Don't worry, I'll put glue in her bubble gum.
• 22:28
  Speaker 4: Hey, Gladys, have a little breakfast.
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: Well, I better stay here, Steve.
• 22:32
  Speaker 9: Just to see that Sorrowful doesn't give the kid an
• 22:34
  Speaker 9: after-breakfast cigar.
• 22:36
  Speaker 4: Okay, but don't let this get to be a habit
• 22:38
  Speaker 4: with you.
• 22:38
  Speaker 6: Can I come in?
• 22:39
  Speaker 4: I want your regrets. Okay, I'm just leaving.
• 22:42
  Speaker 6: What's everybody doing up in the daytime?
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: Hello, Mr. Regrets.
• 22:46
  Speaker 6: Oh, hello, honey. Get rid of the kid, boss.
• 22:50
  Speaker 5: What?
• 22:50
  Speaker 6: Get rid of the kid.
• 22:52
  Speaker 12: Okay.
• 22:53
  Speaker 5: Hey, Shorts, I think Gladys better take you inside and
• 22:55
  Speaker 5: finish dressing you.
• 22:56
  Speaker 9: Come on, honey.
• 22:57
  Speaker 3: Can I have some bacon for breakfast?
• 22:59
  Speaker 5: Bacon? I just bought you a horse.
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: Am I very young? What color?
• 23:02
  Speaker 12: Plaid.
• 23:03
  Speaker 5: Who cares what color? Does the mile in 137 with blinkers.
• 23:07
  Speaker 5: Now get in that room.
• 23:08
  Speaker 12: Say, what is all this?
• 23:10
  Speaker 6: I don't know nothing about a plaid horse, Gladys. All
• 23:12
  Speaker 6: I know is what's in the morning paper.
• 23:14
  Speaker 13: Well?
• 23:15
  Speaker 6: Martha Jane's old man. They found him in the East River.
• 23:18
  Speaker 7: Oh, no.
• 23:19
  Speaker 6: Here it is. Orville Smith. And in his pocket, a
• 23:22
  Speaker 6: certain bookmaker's ticket for 20 clams on Dreamy Joe. He
• 23:26
  Speaker 6: got knocked off. Somebody bumped him.
• 23:28
  Speaker 3: Oh, that poor little kid.
• 23:31
  Speaker 9: Gee, we better turn her over to the police. They'll
• 23:33
  Speaker 9: know where to find her mother.
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: Miss Gladys, will you help me with these buttons, please?
• 23:37
  Speaker 9: Sure, honey. Well, I guess you'd like to go home
• 23:40
  Speaker 9: now and see your mommy, huh?
• 23:42
  Speaker 3: But I can't do that.
• 23:44
  Speaker 9: Why not?
• 23:45
  Speaker 3: My daddy says she's never coming back. I only kind
• 23:49
  Speaker 3: of remember what she looks like. Miss Gladys, can I
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: go and see my new horse?
• 23:55
  Speaker 9: Sure, honey. Sure, you can see your new horse.
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: You mean mine, Dreamy Joe's, really? My horse?
• 24:11
  Speaker 9: That's right, Martha Jane. It's a present from Mr. Sorrowful.
• 24:14
  Speaker 6: It's pretty, honey. A horse and all of them nice new.
• 24:16
  Speaker 5: Clothes, Gladys Boyce. She's a big spender, that Gladys, with
• 24:19
  Speaker 5: my money.
• 24:20
  Speaker 9: Come on, George. Let's take Dreamy Joe for a walk.
• 24:23
  Speaker 6: Hey, uh, how much of this deal does Gladys know?
• 24:26
  Speaker 5: Well, she knows a very good percentage, and I have
• 24:28
  Speaker 5: to tell her that I need the kid now so
• 24:29
  Speaker 5: we could raise Dreamy Joe next Thursday.
• 24:31
  Speaker 6: And the speedball, the, uh, F-I-X?
• 24:34
  Speaker 5: Stop showing off. Anyway, Gladys wouldn't understand. She's one of
• 24:38
  Speaker 5: those high-minded dames, thinks gambling is a sport.
• 24:41
  Speaker 6: Well, as long as the kid stays with you, the laughter,
• 24:43
  Speaker 6: the race, you're in good shape.
• 24:44
  Speaker 5: Oh, I'm in great shape. I'm holding a hot kid
• 24:46
  Speaker 5: the cops would love to find. A gent was murdered
• 24:49
  Speaker 5: with my marker in his pocket. I'm mixed up in
• 24:51
  Speaker 5: a crooked race. And if I try to resign, Big
• 24:53
  Speaker 5: Steve and once over Sam will beat me to death
• 24:55
  Speaker 5: with their pinkies. Oh, I'm in fine shape.
• 24:59
  Speaker 6: Excuse me, if I disappear, Boris, there's a detective named
• 25:02
  Speaker 6: Reardon approaching.
• 25:02
  Speaker 5: Reardon? Talk to Reardon, will you? I'll hide Martha Jane.
• 25:05
  Speaker 4: Hello, Gladys.
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: Hi.
• 25:07
  Speaker 9: Who's minding City Hall?
• 25:09
  Speaker 11: It's in good hands.
• 25:10
  Speaker 6: Say, what was sorrowful's big hurry? I wanted to talk
• 25:12
  Speaker 6: to him.
• 25:12
  Speaker 11: I hear he's latched on to a little girl.
• 25:15
  Speaker 9: It's me, and I'm a big girl.
• 25:17
  Speaker 6: I'm talking about the little Smith girl.
• 25:20
  Speaker 9: Oh, you know about her.
• 25:21
  Speaker 11: Registering a horse in the kid's name is a funny
• 25:23
  Speaker 11: way of trying to hide her.
• 25:24
  Speaker 9: Look, Mr. Reardon, if you could just sort of not
• 25:27
  Speaker 9: see her around for a couple of days, just until
• 25:29
  Speaker 9: dreamy Joe runs, she might win $ 3, 500.
• 25:31
  Speaker 11: I didn't say I was going to put the cuffs
• 25:34
  Speaker 11: on her.
• 25:35
  Speaker 9: You mean there's a heart under that badge?
• 25:38
  Speaker 6: I hear it ticking once in a while. Well, I
• 25:40
  Speaker 6: better try to find... Is that you, Gladys?
• 25:42
  Speaker 4: I'm here in the stable.
• 25:48
  Speaker 5: Is he gone?
• 25:49
  Speaker 4: No, not yet.
• 25:50
  Speaker 5: Oh, oh, Rig, no.
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: Oh, hiya.
• 25:53
  Speaker 5: Well, what are you doing here? Some horse steal a blanket?
• 25:56
  Speaker 4: Where's the little girl?
• 25:57
  Speaker 5: Little girl? What little girl, huh? Care for a bucket
• 26:00
  Speaker 5: of oats, a lump of sugar, give you a rubdown,
• 26:01
  Speaker 5: braid your tail?
• 26:06
  Speaker 6: The Smith girl.
• 26:07
  Speaker 5: Smith girl? Never met her, but I bought some cough
• 26:09
  Speaker 5: drops from her brothers. Little girl, huh?
• 26:13
  Speaker 4: How tall? Like so.
• 26:15
  Speaker 5: Not my type. You better ask Mickey Rooney. I'm just
• 26:17
  Speaker 5: around here.
• 26:18
  Speaker 13: Horses, I thought.
• 26:20
  Speaker 11: Now, look, I'm talking about the kids you're trying to hide.
• 26:22
  Speaker 13: You know what they do to you for kidnapping?
• 26:24
  Speaker 6: They sit you in a.
• 26:24
  Speaker 11: Big chair, strap your legs in, and they strap your
• 26:27
  Speaker 11: arms in. On your head, they put a steel cap,
• 26:29
  Speaker 11: and then they turn on the electricity.
• 26:31
  Speaker 5: Does it hurt you? Hurt you?
• 26:34
  Speaker 13: It ruins you.
• 26:35
  Speaker 7: Why, it even.
• 26:35
  Speaker 4: Hey, Gladys! You better get some water, laughing boy. Just fainted.
• 26:41
  Speaker 4: Here we are, shorts.
• 26:49
  Speaker 7: This is it.
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: Had a wonderful time with your party, Miss Gladys.
• 26:52
  Speaker 9: Thank you, dear.
• 26:53
  Speaker 4: Her party?
• 26:54
  Speaker 5: Who bought the paper cups?
• 26:55
  Speaker 3: He's funny, isn't he?
• 26:57
  Speaker 5: Go on, get ready for bed.
• 26:59
  Speaker 9: Good night, honey.
• 27:00
  Speaker 3: See you when you come in to kiss me good night, sorrowful.
• 27:03
  Speaker 3: What did she say?
• 27:05
  Speaker 5: Oh, it's a new thing, kissing her good night. She's
• 27:07
  Speaker 5: been seeing those pictures in the paper of Albin and
• 27:09
  Speaker 5: his bride.
• 27:16
  Speaker 9: You know, under that height of yours, you're practically a person.
• 27:20
  Speaker 5: Yeah, well, you better head for the cafe. It's about
• 27:22
  Speaker 5: time for you to do your number. The one you
• 27:23
  Speaker 5: sing off-key.
• 27:25
  Speaker 4: The good one.
• 27:26
  Speaker 9: Oh, I have time yet. Sorrowful. What happens to Martha
• 27:30
  Speaker 9: when the race is over?
• 27:32
  Speaker 5: If I can stay clear of her rear than that long,
• 27:33
  Speaker 5: she'll get the air.
• 27:34
  Speaker 4: What else?
• 27:36
  Speaker 7: Uh-huh.
• 27:37
  Speaker 9: Okay if I have a drink?
• 27:39
  Speaker 6: Go ahead.
• 27:39
  Speaker 5: You know the combination.
• 27:42
  Speaker 9: Well, I can see the bottle, but where are your
• 27:44
  Speaker 9: two straws?
• 27:45
  Speaker 5: Don't bother. All I want is a little taste.
• 27:50
  Speaker 9: So after the race, you just disappear, huh?
• 27:52
  Speaker 5: Well, maybe she'll latch on to somebody. Some nice couple
• 27:55
  Speaker 5: with a front lawn.
• 27:57
  Speaker 9: Have you been taking sentimental pills? I haven't heard you
• 28:00
  Speaker 9: talk about front lawn since that night in Omaha.
• 28:03
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I'll never forget that night. We had dinner in
• 28:05
  Speaker 5: that wonderful chop suey joint. Boy, was that expensive.
• 28:12
  Speaker 9: And then, after we tossed for the check and I lost,
• 28:16
  Speaker 9: you got kind of romantic.
• 28:17
  Speaker 5: Well, I didn't want you to embarrass me by leaving
• 28:19
  Speaker 5: too small a tip. You know, Gladys, Martha Jane's crazy
• 28:24
  Speaker 5: about you.
• 28:26
  Speaker 9: I'm crazy about her, too.
• 28:28
  Speaker 5: If she had you and a father, she'd have a
• 28:29
  Speaker 5: complete set.
• 28:32
  Speaker 9: Sure she would.
• 28:33
  Speaker 5: Well, what about you and.
• 28:37
  Speaker 7: Yes?
• 28:39
  Speaker 5: You and Big Steve.
• 28:41
  Speaker 9: It's later than I thought. So long.
• 28:43
  Speaker 5: But your drink.
• 28:44
  Speaker 9: Pour it back in the bottle and dive in after it.
• 28:46
  Speaker 5: Well, what are you sore about?
• 28:48
  Speaker 3: Who's sore?
• 28:48
  Speaker 9: I just think I better get to work. Big Steve
• 28:51
  Speaker 9: might not like it. So long, Tyrone.
• 28:54
  Speaker 5: Dames. Go figure them. They act like a bunch of women.
• 28:59
  Speaker 11: Hey, you. Shorts.
• 29:00
  Speaker 5: How you doing?
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: I'm all ready. Aren't you going to read me a story?
• 29:05
  Speaker 3: This book. The one Aunt Gladys gave me.
• 29:07
  Speaker 5: Aunt Gladys. Now it's Aunt Gladys. It's good you got
• 29:10
  Speaker 5: rich relatives.
• 29:11
  Speaker 12: Mr.
• 29:11
  Speaker 3: Sarge, why are you such a tight one?
• 29:17
  Speaker 5: Now, wait a minute. Talking like that ain't nice. There's
• 29:22
  Speaker 5: no telling who might be listening.
• 29:24
  Speaker 3: You mean God?
• 29:26
  Speaker 4: Yeah, maybe.
• 29:26
  Speaker 9: Maybe.
• 29:27
  Speaker 12: Mr.
• 29:28
  Speaker 3: Sharple, have you ever seen God?
• 29:30
  Speaker 5: Well, no, he doesn't hang around horse rooms very much.
• 29:34
  Speaker 5: But if you ever want anything, why, you just ask God,
• 29:37
  Speaker 5: and often as not, he comes through.
• 29:39
  Speaker 3: You mean rightly. Make Santa Claus?
• 29:41
  Speaker 5: Well, that's where praying comes in. You save three cents.
• 29:44
  Speaker 9: Mr.
• 29:44
  Speaker 3: Sarko, teach me how to pray. I want to ask
• 29:47
  Speaker 3: for something.
• 29:48
  Speaker 5: I never knew a dame who didn't.
• 29:51
  Speaker 7: Okay.
• 29:53
  Speaker 5: Only don't go telling people about this. I don't want
• 29:55
  Speaker 5: it to get around, you see? Now kneel.
• 29:57
  Speaker 3: But why should I kneel?
• 29:59
  Speaker 5: How do I know I don't make the rules? Well,
• 30:04
  Speaker 5: like a racing commission makes the rules of the track,
• 30:06
  Speaker 5: I guess there must be a praying commission someplace.
• 30:10
  Speaker 3: Now what do I do?
• 30:11
  Speaker 5: Well, just say like this. Now I lay me down
• 30:14
  Speaker 5: to sleep.
• 30:15
  Speaker 3: Now I lay me down to sleep.
• 30:17
  Speaker 5: I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
• 30:19
  Speaker 3: I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
• 30:21
  Speaker 5: If I should die before I wake.
• 30:24
  Speaker 3: If I should die before I wake.
• 30:26
  Speaker 5: I pray the Lord my soul to take.
• 30:28
  Speaker 3: I pray the Lord for my soul to take.
• 30:30
  Speaker 5: God bless Sorrowful, Gladys, Regret, and everybody.
• 30:33
  Speaker 3: God bless Sorrowful, Gladys, Regret, and everybody. And Dreamy Joe, too?
• 30:38
  Speaker 5: Oh, yeah, him most of all. He's the closest to going.
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: And Dreamy Joe most of all. He's the closest of going.
• 30:48
  Speaker 3: Is that all?
• 30:49
  Speaker 5: That's it. That's the works.
• 30:51
  Speaker 3: Well, when do I ask for what I want?
• 30:53
  Speaker 5: Oh, you better slip it in right now, quick, while
• 30:55
  Speaker 5: your prayer's still hot.
• 30:58
  Speaker 3: Please, dear God, buy Mr. Sarifo new shoes, clothes.
• 31:04
  Speaker 5: With two pair of pants, please.
• 31:10
  Speaker 3: With two pair of pants. Good night, Sarifo.
• 31:13
  Speaker 5: Good night, shorts.
• 31:22
  Speaker 6: Hello?
• 31:23
  Speaker 9: Steve.
• 31:23
  Speaker 4: Yeah, who's this? I.
• 31:25
  Speaker 7: What's over Sam? Steve, I'm trying all morning to get you.
• 31:29
  Speaker 4: What's wrong?
• 31:30
  Speaker 7: That Blackwood Reardon.
• 31:31
  Speaker 13: He gave me the business.
• 31:33
  Speaker 7: You remember that little doll at Sorrowful?
• 31:34
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 31:35
  Speaker 8: Well, Reardon says she belongs to the gent we catch
• 31:38
  Speaker 8: at the office.
• 31:38
  Speaker 13: The one whose last address is the East River.
• 31:41
  Speaker 4: Get over there, Sam. Shut Sorrowful up and get that
• 31:43
  Speaker 4: kid out of sight. Having her on so close may
• 31:45
  Speaker 4: give Reardon ideas.
• 31:47
  Speaker 7: Well, what must I do with her?
• 31:49
  Speaker 4: I don't care what you do. Just get rid of her.
• 31:51
  Speaker 7: Okay, Steve. I'm on my way.
• 32:01
  Speaker 6: Ta-da!
• 32:03
  Speaker 9: No, I don't believe it.
• 32:05
  Speaker 3: A new suit. Just look at him. Guys, sir, for you, Mr.
• 32:12
  Speaker 3: Beautiful Jimmy Joe.
• 32:16
  Speaker 5: Well, you like it?
• 32:18
  Speaker 9: It's like Rembrandt painted a dish of chicken fat.
• 32:24
  Speaker 5: Drink it in. I've got to be back in the
• 32:25
  Speaker 5: window by 12. The material is reversible. The jacket opens
• 32:30
  Speaker 5: up into a record player.
• 32:33
  Speaker 3: And new shoes, but I only paid for a new suit.
• 32:36
  Speaker 5: Stool pigeon. Can't a citizen get dressed up if he
• 32:39
  Speaker 5: wants to?
• 32:40
  Speaker 7: I come for the kid. She's going on a trip.
• 32:44
  Speaker 5: A trip?
• 32:44
  Speaker 3: Is he going to take me to my daddy?
• 32:46
  Speaker 5: Get in your room, short. I'll give you the rundown later.
• 32:50
  Speaker 5: All right, Sam. Who's going on what trip?
• 32:52
  Speaker 8: According to Steve, the kid's got to get loose, such
• 32:55
  Speaker 8: as out of town or in.
• 32:56
  Speaker 7: An orphan home.
• 32:57
  Speaker 5: But she's not in anybody's way.
• 32:59
  Speaker 7: Mr.
• 32:59
  Speaker 8: Jones, it is not possible to eat corn on the
• 33:03
  Speaker 8: cob without front teeth. Or would you like to find that.
• 33:08
  Speaker 7: Out for yourself?
• 33:10
  Speaker 14: Sorrowful.
• 33:11
  Speaker 9: Don't let that big ape.
• 33:11
  Speaker 5: Push you around. Well, I'll try to control my temper. Look,
• 33:15
  Speaker 5: I'll go in there and put it to the little
• 33:16
  Speaker 5: doll in person. Maybe she'd like to go.
• 33:19
  Speaker 9: If you take that little girl out of here, it'll
• 33:21
  Speaker 9: be over my dead body.
• 33:23
  Speaker 7: That, too, can be a wreck. Meantime, sit down! Mr.
• 33:30
  Speaker 3: Sarge, well, if he's not going to take me to
• 33:32
  Speaker 3: my daddy, where is he taking me?
• 33:34
  Speaker 5: Well, I'm sorry, Short. You're going to a special place
• 33:37
  Speaker 5: just for juniors. An orphanage.
• 33:40
  Speaker 3: What's an orphanage?
• 33:41
  Speaker 5: Oh, it's like a big pool room, but for kids.
• 33:44
  Speaker 4: It's a pool.
• 33:46
  Speaker 6: No.
• 33:47
  Speaker 5: No, you're not going anyplace. Now look, shorts, we're going
• 33:50
  Speaker 5: to play a game called hide and go seek. Now
• 33:53
  Speaker 5: you climb out the window and hide on the fire escape.
• 33:54
  Speaker 5: Just stay there, see?
• 33:56
  Speaker 3: On the fire escape? What kind of a game is this?
• 33:59
  Speaker 5: I learned it during my vaudeville days. It's called actor
• 34:00
  Speaker 5: and the landlady. Now don't make a sound until I
• 34:07
  Speaker 5: yell ready.
• 34:08
  Speaker 3: Are you going to surprise me again?
• 34:10
  Speaker 5: This time it's me I'm surprising. And no matter what happens,
• 34:13
  Speaker 5: just keep quiet.
• 34:14
  Speaker 3: I will, Mr. Sarple.
• 34:15
  Speaker 4: Okay, honey.
• 34:16
  Speaker 5: Now out you go.
• 34:17
  Speaker 8: Hey, what's the big idea of locking that bedroom door?
• 34:20
  Speaker 5: I'm not going to let you take her, Sam. Make
• 34:21
  Speaker 5: one move and I'll throw a punch.
• 34:23
  Speaker 7: Why, you punk, I'll break your neck.
• 34:25
  Speaker 5: You break my neck and I'll... You'll what? I'll nod
• 34:28
  Speaker 5: all over you.
• 34:30
  Speaker 7: One punch and I can flatten you.
• 34:32
  Speaker 5: All right, you'll flatten me, but I'll get up off
• 34:34
  Speaker 5: the floor swinging.
• 34:35
  Speaker 7: So you're swinging, so I bust your nose.
• 34:36
  Speaker 5: So what? Nobody will ever notice the difference.
• 34:40
  Speaker 3: You take it easy, Sam. You're outnumbered.
• 34:43
  Speaker 7: Stay out of this, madam, or I'll bop you too.
• 34:45
  Speaker 8: Now, give me the key before I ram your head
• 34:47
  Speaker 8: through that door.
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: There.
• 34:51
  Speaker 9: Well, I warned him. Now, get Shorts out of that room.
• 34:53
  Speaker 6: Huh?
• 34:54
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, maybe it's a good thing I
• 34:56
  Speaker 4: checked up in person. All right, Sam, get off the floor.
• 35:00
  Speaker 4: Get rid of the kid.
• 35:01
  Speaker 3: No.
• 35:02
  Speaker 7: No, she's still in there, Steve.
• 35:03
  Speaker 5: Now, wait a minute, Steve. She's not in there.
• 35:05
  Speaker 4: Oh, no?
• 35:07
  Speaker 6: There.
• 35:07
  Speaker 5: You see? Empty room.
• 35:09
  Speaker 7: But I see her go in there.
• 35:11
  Speaker 5: Hey, kids. All right, sorrowful. Where is she?
• 35:18
  Speaker 4: Well, that's different.
• 35:19
  Speaker 5: You ask a civil question, you get a civil answer.
• 35:22
  Speaker 5: I don't know where she is.
• 35:23
  Speaker 3: Hey, folks, folks, look.
• 35:24
  Speaker 4: Down there.
• 35:25
  Speaker 5: Down on the sidewalk.
• 35:26
  Speaker 3: An accident.
• 35:27
  Speaker 4: All them people.
• 35:30
  Speaker 5: Shorts.
• 35:31
  Speaker 4: Shorts. Yeah, looks like our little problem's all taken care of, huh?
• 35:34
  Speaker 13: She fell off the fire escape.
• 35:36
  Speaker 5: Steve, call an ambulance. I'm going down there.
• 35:38
  Speaker 4: Call them yourself. But be careful what you say, pal,
• 35:40
  Speaker 4: or the next ambulance will be for you.
• 35:51
  Speaker 10: For Defense Department employees working abroad, the laws and customs
• 35:57
  Speaker 10: of a foreign land can be frustrating. Even though you're
• 36:00
  Speaker 10: subject to foreign laws, you're also entitled to most of
• 36:03
  Speaker 10: the safeguards outlined in the Status of Forces Agreements, and
• 36:06
  Speaker 10: the local military commander will work to ensure that the
• 36:09
  Speaker 10: rights of civilian personnel are properly maintained. It can be overwhelming,
• 36:14
  Speaker 10: but the military is there to help you every step
• 36:18
  Speaker 10: of the way.
• 36:21
  Speaker 3: And now.
• 36:45
  Speaker 8: Your host, Frank Brzee, returns to the microphone.
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: The curtain rises on the third act of Sorrowful Jones,
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: starring Bob Hope and Lucille Ball.
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: It's several hours later, and Martha Jane lies in a
• 37:04
  Speaker 2: hospital bed, critically injured. In the visitor's room, Sorrowful, Gladys,
• 37:09
  Speaker 2: and Regret hear the latest word from the doctor.
• 37:12
  Speaker 13: There's nothing new I can tell you, Mr.
• 37:13
  Speaker 7: Jones.
• 37:14
  Speaker 13: No change, I'm afraid. She's still delirious.
• 37:16
  Speaker 5: Well, how bad is it, Doc?
• 37:17
  Speaker 13: Her status shock can be very serious. Tell me, is
• 37:20
  Speaker 13: her father here?
• 37:22
  Speaker 9: No.
• 37:23
  Speaker 13: Oh, then you must be the one she calls Dreamy Joe.
• 37:25
  Speaker 7: Me?
• 37:27
  Speaker 5: Dreamy Joe's a horse.
• 37:28
  Speaker 7: He's her horse.
• 37:29
  Speaker 4: A horse?
• 37:29
  Speaker 6: Well, that's too bad.
• 37:31
  Speaker 13: She keeps calling for Dreamy Joe. It would have helped
• 37:33
  Speaker 13: if she could have seen him.
• 37:34
  Speaker 5: I wonder if that praying commission is open in the daytime. What?
• 37:37
  Speaker 2: Oh, nothing.
• 37:38
  Speaker 12: Nothing?
• 37:39
  Speaker 9: She keeps asking for Dreamy Joe.
• 37:41
  Speaker 6: I never realized a nag could mean so much to
• 37:43
  Speaker 6: a kid.
• 37:45
  Speaker 9: Gee, just looking at him might make the difference.
• 37:47
  Speaker 6: If the big race wasn't just a few hours off,
• 37:49
  Speaker 6: we might arrange something.
• 37:50
  Speaker 9: Which is more important, a bunch of horses chasing each
• 37:53
  Speaker 9: other or Martha Jane?
• 37:54
  Speaker 5: What are you looking at me for? What do you
• 37:55
  Speaker 5: want me to do, steal him off the track?
• 37:57
  Speaker 9: If necessary, yes.
• 37:59
  Speaker 4: Oh, fine.
• 37:59
  Speaker 5: I'm sure no one will notice the lump under my coat. You, uh.
• 38:09
  Speaker 5: You know what they do to horse thieves?
• 38:11
  Speaker 6: Well, they don't hang you anymore, Sorrowful.
• 38:13
  Speaker 5: They just rough you up a bit. This is the
• 38:15
  Speaker 5: craziest thing I ever heard of. I've crossed Big Steve
• 38:17
  Speaker 5: once already. If I do it again, they'd have to
• 38:19
  Speaker 5: roll me into surgery on four different tables.
• 38:22
  Speaker 9: Sorrowful, what if we borrow Dreamy Joe after the race?
• 38:25
  Speaker 6: There won't be any Dreamy Joe after the race. Speedball-itis.
• 38:30
  Speaker 9: Speedball-itis? You mean you dragged the kid into a crooked race?
• 38:35
  Speaker 9: You gave her a horse and let her go crazy
• 38:37
  Speaker 9: about it when you knew it was going to die?
• 38:39
  Speaker 5: Well, the kid just happened to get mixed up in it.
• 38:41
  Speaker 5: I never wanted to hurt her.
• 38:42
  Speaker 3: You get out of here.
• 38:44
  Speaker 9: And just remember this. If we should ever run into
• 38:46
  Speaker 9: each other again along Broadway, just keep walking.
• 38:50
  Speaker 5: Come on, Regret. Let's get walking, blabbermouth.
• 39:02
  Speaker 6: Now, you sorrowful, I just cased the stable. They're getting
• 39:05
  Speaker 6: Dreamy Joe ready for the race. Once over Sam, he's
• 39:07
  Speaker 6: taking a night for a walk.
• 39:09
  Speaker 5: Sam, huh? Well, we'll just have to take the horse
• 39:12
  Speaker 5: away from Sam.
• 39:13
  Speaker 6: I might have known it. It'd be we again.
• 39:14
  Speaker 5: If you were half a man, you'd think of shorts.
• 39:16
  Speaker 6: If this plan of yours doesn't work, I'll be half
• 39:18
  Speaker 6: a man.
• 39:19
  Speaker 5: Oh, get going. I'll be right in back of you.
• 39:21
  Speaker 5: No slip-ups or we'll both be wearing cement wedgies.
• 39:27
  Speaker 6: Ah, good afternoon, Sam.
• 39:30
  Speaker 7: What do you want?
• 39:32
  Speaker 6: I don't want nothing.
• 39:34
  Speaker 8: Then why are you telling me good afternoon for?
• 39:38
  Speaker 6: Taking dreamy Joe for a little stroll, huh? You want
• 39:41
  Speaker 6: I should walk him a little?
• 39:42
  Speaker 7: Shut up.
• 39:44
  Speaker 6: Oh, look, Sam, I happen to like you.
• 39:47
  Speaker 7: What is there to like?
• 39:49
  Speaker 6: Oh, I don't mean no offense. Why, everybody likes Once
• 39:53
  Speaker 6: Over Sam.
• 39:55
  Speaker 7: They do?
• 39:56
  Speaker 6: Sure. Why, when you walk down Broadway, you know what
• 39:59
  Speaker 6: everybody says?
• 40:00
  Speaker 8: What?
• 40:01
  Speaker 6: They say, there goes Sam.
• 40:04
  Speaker 7: No.
• 40:05
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 40:07
  Speaker 6: And you know what else they say? They say you're smart.
• 40:10
  Speaker 7: You gotta be smart.
• 40:11
  Speaker 8: If you don't like a guy, you gotta have brains
• 40:14
  Speaker 8: enough to belt him on the chin.
• 40:16
  Speaker 6: Yeah. Well, so long, friend. Always nice to kick it
• 40:19
  Speaker 6: around with you.
• 40:20
  Speaker 8: Thank you kindly. And take my advice, Regret. Give the
• 40:23
  Speaker 8: rush to that crumb, Sorrowful.
• 40:26
  Speaker 5: You got clad.
• 40:32
  Speaker 7: Well, I'm back, boss.
• 40:33
  Speaker 8: I take Dreamy Joe for a walk, like you say.
• 40:36
  Speaker 4: Where is he? Where's Dreamy Joe?
• 40:38
  Speaker 8: Boss, he's right on the end of this rope.
• 40:42
  Speaker 7: Oh, it's... Hey, hey, that ain't Dreamy Joe. What happened? Boss,
• 40:50
  Speaker 7: I bring back the wrong beast.
• 40:54
  Speaker 4: What did you do with him?
• 40:54
  Speaker 6: Where is he?
• 40:55
  Speaker 13: I don't know.
• 40:57
  Speaker 8: I am walking along, clutching the rope, talking to my
• 41:00
  Speaker 8: friend Regret.
• 41:00
  Speaker 4: Regret? Why, you dunce, that means Sorrowful Jones has Dreamy Joe.
• 41:03
  Speaker 4: He switched horses on you while you were talking to
• 41:05
  Speaker 4: your friend.
• 41:06
  Speaker 9: No.
• 41:06
  Speaker 4: Come on, I think I know just where to find him.
• 41:13
  Speaker 5: Well, I got you away from the track, Dreamy Joe
• 41:14
  Speaker 5: Now all we gotta do is hitch a ride back
• 41:16
  Speaker 5: to town Why didn't you think of that before we
• 41:19
  Speaker 5: left the stable? I can't understand these drivers Nobody wants
• 41:29
  Speaker 5: to give us a ride Hey, Dreamy, lift your blanket
• 41:31
  Speaker 5: and show a little more leg Never mind, I guess
• 41:35
  Speaker 5: we'll have to do it the hard way I'll just
• 41:36
  Speaker 5: leap on your back like this Steady, boy, we'll try
• 41:41
  Speaker 5: it again Whoa, boy.
• 41:42
  Speaker 6: Whoa, now.
• 41:43
  Speaker 5: Can you kneel down a little? Look, how about this?
• 41:46
  Speaker 5: I'll spread my legs and you crawl under me, huh?
• 41:50
  Speaker 13: Hey, hey, take it easy.
• 41:51
  Speaker 5: I'm going side saddle. Just follow the traffic, Dreamy Joe.
• 41:54
  Speaker 5: We're heading straight into town. Well, this is the hospital,
• 42:03
  Speaker 5: Dreamy Joe. Now all we got to do is sneak
• 42:05
  Speaker 5: in that door and go down the corridor to the elevator.
• 42:07
  Speaker 5: Just act nonchalant. If anybody stops us, just tell them
• 42:10
  Speaker 5: you're visiting someone.
• 42:12
  Speaker 3: Just a minute.
• 42:13
  Speaker 9: What is the meaning of this?
• 42:14
  Speaker 6: Oh, it's okay, nurse.
• 42:15
  Speaker 5: He's my brother.
• 42:17
  Speaker 3: Your brother?
• 42:17
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm taking him to the psych ward. He thinks
• 42:18
  Speaker 5: he's a horse. Quiet, Vaughn.
• 42:24
  Speaker 14: Get away from that elevator.
• 42:25
  Speaker 4: Stop.
• 42:26
  Speaker 3: Doctor, there's a lunatic in the elevator with a horse.
• 42:33
  Speaker 5: This is it, Dreamy Joe.
• 42:34
  Speaker 4: Fifth floor.
• 42:35
  Speaker 5: I'll see if the coast is clear. And if you
• 42:37
  Speaker 5: see anyone, look sick.
• 42:41
  Speaker 4: Oh, my gosh.
• 42:42
  Speaker 5: Big Steve and Sam down there in front of Martha
• 42:43
  Speaker 5: Jane's room.
• 42:44
  Speaker 2: Steady.
• 42:45
  Speaker 5: Dreamy Joe, stay here in the elevator, and I'll just
• 42:47
  Speaker 5: sneak out, and I'll... Hey, Dreamy Joe! Hey, come back here!
• 42:50
  Speaker 3: Come here!
• 42:51
  Speaker 14: Hey!
• 42:51
  Speaker 4: Something wrong, young man?
• 42:52
  Speaker 5: Yeah, the elevator, it's gone.
• 42:53
  Speaker 2: Well, it's automatic.
• 42:54
  Speaker 6: Someone must have buzzed for it.
• 42:55
  Speaker 5: Yeah, but there's a horse in that elevator.
• 42:56
  Speaker 12: A horse?
• 42:57
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I told him I'd be right back.
• 42:58
  Speaker 4: You told the horse you'd be right back?
• 43:00
  Speaker 5: Yeah, now he's disappeared.
• 43:01
  Speaker 4: The horse disappeared?
• 43:02
  Speaker 5: I lost my horse, you see.
• 43:03
  Speaker 6: All right, all right.
• 43:04
  Speaker 4: Now, let's not get excited.
• 43:06
  Speaker 5: I'm not excited. Take it easy.
• 43:08
  Speaker 6: Maybe he just went down for a sandwich or something.
• 43:11
  Speaker 4: He'll come right back.
• 43:12
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah.
• 43:13
  Speaker 4: Oh, we see them around here all the time.
• 43:14
  Speaker 8: Pink horses, green horses, blue horses.
• 43:17
  Speaker 5: Wait a minute. Are you a patient here?
• 43:19
  Speaker 4: I happen to be a doctor.
• 43:21
  Speaker 5: Now, why don't you step into my office and we'll
• 43:23
  Speaker 5: see if we... Stop looking at me as if I'm
• 43:25
  Speaker 5: Olivia de Havilland. There, you see?
• 43:35
  Speaker 9: That's my horse.
• 43:36
  Speaker 5: Where'd you go, Dreamy? You have to go riding up
• 43:38
  Speaker 5: and down. One more move like that and you wind
• 43:40
  Speaker 5: up in a tube in a stationery store. We got
• 43:42
  Speaker 5: work to do now. Come on.
• 43:43
  Speaker 4: Nurse!
• 43:43
  Speaker 3: Intern!
• 43:44
  Speaker 5: Help! Not so fast, Dreamy Joe. Quit shoving.
• 43:50
  Speaker 7: Quit.
• 43:51
  Speaker 5: Now, wait a minute. I don't know how we're going
• 43:53
  Speaker 5: to get past those two gorillas. Why'd you have to
• 43:55
  Speaker 5: get mixed up with Big Steve? Anyway, don't you know he.
• 43:57
  Speaker 4: Well, if it ain't Sir Apple Jones and the horse.
• 43:59
  Speaker 4: He's got the horse.
• 44:00
  Speaker 5: Dreamy Joe?
• 44:01
  Speaker 7: Oh, yeah.
• 44:01
  Speaker 5: I was just bringing him in for a checkup. After all, he.
• 44:03
  Speaker 3: Oh!
• 44:04
  Speaker 5: What a sucker leading with your right.
• 44:06
  Speaker 4: Get up off the floor.
• 44:07
  Speaker 5: Give me that horse. I gotta have that horse.
• 44:09
  Speaker 7: And that's for swiping the kid.
• 44:10
  Speaker 4: That's enough, Sam. We gotta get out of here.
• 44:11
  Speaker 5: Oh, no, you don't. Wait till I give Sam my
• 44:13
  Speaker 5: rabbit punch.
• 44:14
  Speaker 12: Oh!
• 44:15
  Speaker 5: Can't understand. It always works on rabbits.
• 44:18
  Speaker 4: Better punch for that elevator, boss.
• 44:20
  Speaker 5: You're not taking that horse.
• 44:21
  Speaker 4: So you want more of them, sir?
• 44:22
  Speaker 5: I want Dreamy Joe.
• 44:23
  Speaker 7: And this is for shooting your mouth off to the law.
• 44:26
  Speaker 4: Ain't it me, Sam?
• 44:27
  Speaker 5: Rain.
• 44:28
  Speaker 4: Grab him, boys.
• 44:28
  Speaker 6: All right, we got him.
• 44:29
  Speaker 5: Oh, it's a good thing you came, Reardon, or I'd
• 44:30
  Speaker 5: have killed him.
• 44:31
  Speaker 4: Let's go, Steve. You too, Sam.
• 44:34
  Speaker 11: I want to have a little chat with you boys
• 44:36
  Speaker 11: down at headquarters.
• 44:36
  Speaker 5: Yeah, and I got a date with Dreamy Joe. Come on, George.
• 44:38
  Speaker 4: Come on, boy. I'll have you back pounding a beat
• 44:40
  Speaker 4: for this. Maybe so.
• 44:41
  Speaker 11: But there's a certain scrub lady who works in your cafe.
• 44:44
  Speaker 11: She recognized a photograph of Orville Smith. Said he was
• 44:47
  Speaker 11: in your place just before he was murdered.
• 44:49
  Speaker 4: All right, boys, take him away.
• 44:59
  Speaker 5: Here he is, Doctor. Dreamy Joe. Well, you told me
• 45:03
  Speaker 5: if Martha Jane saw Dreamy Joe.
• 45:05
  Speaker 4: Maybe she.
• 45:05
  Speaker 6: I don't know, Mr.
• 45:05
  Speaker 3: Jones.
• 45:06
  Speaker 13: We've done everything we can.
• 45:07
  Speaker 5: She's no better?
• 45:08
  Speaker 13: Well, if she was, you don't think I'd let you
• 45:09
  Speaker 13: bring a horse in here, do you? All right, lead
• 45:11
  Speaker 13: him in.
• 45:15
  Speaker 12: Oh, Sorrowful.
• 45:17
  Speaker 7: You brought him.
• 45:18
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 45:19
  Speaker 6: Shorts.
• 45:20
  Speaker 5: Shorts. Can you open your eyes? Look who's here.
• 45:23
  Speaker 9: Martha Jane. Shorts.
• 45:25
  Speaker 5: Look, honey, look.
• 45:27
  Speaker 9: It's Dreamy Joe. He came to see you. Dreamy Joe.
• 45:33
  Speaker 5: I couldn't keep him away, Shorts. He kept asking for you.
• 45:36
  Speaker 3: Dreamy Joe. Dreamy Joe.
• 45:39
  Speaker 13: Well, I've been practicing a good many years, but I've
• 45:41
  Speaker 13: never seen anything like this before.
• 45:44
  Speaker 9: You mean she'll get better now?
• 45:46
  Speaker 13: I wouldn't be at all surprised. Yes, I think you
• 45:48
  Speaker 13: can leave the rest to me now.
• 45:49
  Speaker 6: Hey, Sorrowful, come out in the hall a minute.
• 45:52
  Speaker 13: Well.
• 45:53
  Speaker 5: I don't have to ask.
• 45:54
  Speaker 13: I can read her chart on your faces.
• 45:56
  Speaker 9: Oh, she's got to be all right, Mr.
• 45:57
  Speaker 5: Reardon.
• 45:58
  Speaker 9: Sorrowful brought her the best medicine in the world.
• 46:01
  Speaker 11: Well, as soon as she's up and around, I'll take over.
• 46:03
  Speaker 5: Wait. You mean that orphanage routine?
• 46:06
  Speaker 6: I guarantee the best.
• 46:07
  Speaker 11: Then I'll scout around for some nice people to adopt her.
• 46:10
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 46:11
  Speaker 5: Hey, would you mind holding Dreamy Joe for a minute? Hey, Gladys,
• 46:14
  Speaker 5: this way.
• 46:16
  Speaker 9: What's the matter, Sorrowful?
• 46:17
  Speaker 5: You can't let shorts fall on the hands of some
• 46:19
  Speaker 5: strange couple. They might be undesirable characters.
• 46:22
  Speaker 9: It would still be an improvement for her.
• 46:24
  Speaker 5: Look, you want to get married, don't you? You've hinted
• 46:27
  Speaker 5: at it often enough.
• 46:30
  Speaker 9: Yes, one of these days, but to a solid citizen,
• 46:33
  Speaker 9: and I don't see any around.
• 46:34
  Speaker 5: Who cares about solid citizens? I'm thinking about shorts. If
• 46:37
  Speaker 5: we don't act fast, she's going to be farmed out
• 46:39
  Speaker 5: from under us.
• 46:40
  Speaker 9: Well, what do you want me to do about it?
• 46:42
  Speaker 5: Well, I'm willing to make a sacrifice. Why can't you?
• 46:49
  Speaker 5: Some couple has to adopt her. How about us?
• 46:51
  Speaker 9: I think that's a very good idea. The first one
• 46:54
  Speaker 9: of us who gets married should definitely adopt her.
• 46:56
  Speaker 5: I mean to each other.
• 46:57
  Speaker 4: Come here.
• 47:08
  Speaker 9: Mrs. Sorrowful Jones.
• 47:10
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 47:11
  Speaker 12: Mrs.
• 47:12
  Speaker 9: Sorrowful Jones. Don't you have a real first name? Mm-hmm.
• 47:17
  Speaker 9: Don't you have a real first name?
• 47:18
  Speaker 12: Mm-hmm.
• 47:19
  Speaker 9: What is it?
• 47:21
  Speaker 5: Humphrey.
• 47:32
  Speaker 9: Humphrey. There's nothing romantic about that.
• 47:35
  Speaker 5: Well, don't let it bother you. I got a middle name, too.
• 47:37
  Speaker 7: What is it?
• 47:37
  Speaker 5: Rossellini. And so, a few weeks later.
• 47:46
  Speaker 2: Sorrowful Jones and Gladys and Martha Jane.
• 47:53
  Speaker 5: Well, I'm sure glad we're going home. My feet are
• 47:55
  Speaker 5: killing me.
• 47:56
  Speaker 3: But the play circus. Aren't we going to the play circus?
• 47:59
  Speaker 5: Sure, but you can't do it all in one day.
• 48:00
  Speaker 5: We've been to the zoo. We climbed to the top
• 48:02
  Speaker 5: of the Statue of Liberty. We were on the lake
• 48:03
  Speaker 5: in Central Park. Just look at these blisters from Rowan.
• 48:06
  Speaker 5: Show them, Gladys. Hold out your hands.
• 48:09
  Speaker 3: But you promised, Daddy.
• 48:12
  Speaker 7: Well, Daddy?
• 48:13
  Speaker 5: Okay.