Latest / The Breakfast Club / Value, Babies & Double Standards: Let’s Really Talk About It

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Value, Babies & Double Standards: Let’s Really Talk About It · The Breakfast Club

0:02
Speaker 1: I'm a homegirl that knows a little bit about everything
0:04
Speaker 1: and everybody.
0:05
Speaker 2: You don't know if you don't lie about that, right.
0:07
Speaker 2: Laurie came in.
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Speaker 1: Hey, y'all, what's up. It's Lauren L. Rosa and this
0:12
Speaker 1: is the latest with Lauren L.
0:13
Speaker 2: Rosa.
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Speaker 1: This is your daily dig on all things pop culture, entertainment, news,
0:18
Speaker 1: and all of the conversations that.
0:19
Speaker 2: Shake the room. Baby.
0:21
Speaker 1: All right, so we're gonna start how we always start,
0:24
Speaker 1: low Riders. We gotta check in behind the scenes of
0:28
Speaker 1: the grind. I am actually recording right now from one
0:34
Speaker 1: O three point five to beat in Miami.
0:36
Speaker 2: I'm in Miami, y'all because we're going on.
0:38
Speaker 1: A cruise today. So today I will disembark. I think
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Speaker 1: that's the word you use for cruise, right, Okay, Yeah,
0:44
Speaker 1: today I will disembark on a cruise with fim It Forward.
0:47
Speaker 1: Film It Forward is a program, an organization, a movement
0:51
Speaker 1: created by Heather Lowry. Heather Lowry if you don't know her,
0:55
Speaker 1: because she's very much behind the scenes, but she is
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Speaker 1: that girl. She's from Delaware for so yeah. And then secondly,
1:02
Speaker 1: you know she's done a lot in the entertainment space
1:04
Speaker 1: for a long time. Have the lowry was at the
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Speaker 1: hymn of some of your biggest tours and artist performances
1:11
Speaker 1: as she led, uh, you know the charges at Live Nation,
1:15
Speaker 1: you know, and Live Nation puts on a lot of
1:17
Speaker 1: those in person performances. But you know, as of recent
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Speaker 1: I feel like her brand, Femit Forward, has grown hugely
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Speaker 1: and it becomes.
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Speaker 2: Such a huge success.
1:28
Speaker 1: Femet Forward does the Give Her Her Flowers event every year.
1:33
Speaker 1: I believe it's during It's either during the b T
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Speaker 1: weekend or the Grammy weekend, and normally that event goes
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Speaker 1: viral because she's honored amazing people, you know, Tianna, Taylor,
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Speaker 1: Chloe and Holly Bailey, big names, big names, Heather has.
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Speaker 1: She's always been, like I was gonna say, like a
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Speaker 1: girl's girl, but I feel like that's such a general
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Speaker 1: term that's just like so easily used. She's always been
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Speaker 1: a person that is, first of all, just her soundation
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Speaker 1: is really for her foundation is really solid.
2:01
Speaker 2: But she's always been a person that.
2:03
Speaker 1: Is She's like a hug in real life, Like everything
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Speaker 1: about her feels like a hug. She's super encouraging her
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Speaker 1: temperament until she has to get with you. Is also
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Speaker 1: very like positive and you know, soft, but it's very strong,
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Speaker 1: and I say it's like a hug, and then I
2:22
Speaker 1: say it's strong, y'all. Probably like girl, what how we're
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Speaker 1: running two the same Because when you think about like
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Speaker 1: a really good hug when you need it right, it's soft,
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Speaker 1: it's reaffirming, it's you know, it's everything that you need
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Speaker 1: at the time, but also it can strongly change the
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Speaker 1: trajectory of you're feeling in that moment, you're feeling after
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Speaker 1: that moment, and even just how your day was going.
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Speaker 1: One good hug changes everything. And that's what meeting Heather
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Speaker 1: Lowry was like for me. I always said that I
2:47
Speaker 1: want to host an artist tour, like it's always been
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Speaker 1: a dream of mine to like team up with like
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Speaker 1: a fire female artist. I really would love for it
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Speaker 1: to be a rap girl, but I'm open and go
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Speaker 1: on tour like how do you CALLI went on tour Beyonce,
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Speaker 1: and I know I'm not a DJ, but I would.
3:04
Speaker 1: I just think it would be so far me rocking
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Speaker 1: out with the DJ as the host of the tour
3:08
Speaker 1: and being able to, you know, just go stop to stop.
3:10
Speaker 1: I don't know why I've always wanted to do that,
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Speaker 1: But when I met Haga Lowry, she had actually booked
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Speaker 1: me to host my first live concert ever for real,
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Speaker 1: for real. I was fresh out of Delaware State University
3:20
Speaker 1: and HBCU Week, which we've talked about here on the
3:24
Speaker 1: podcast before. Another organization that feels like a hug by
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Speaker 1: Ashley Christopher, another Delaware girl. They host these live concerts
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Speaker 1: every year in October and Women's in Delaware where they
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Speaker 1: bring artists to the city and it raises money for
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Speaker 1: students that are going to HBCUs and are getting through
3:41
Speaker 1: their four year undergrad and even some graduate programs.
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Speaker 2: At HBCU schools.
3:46
Speaker 1: But I hosted a concert for La in Queen Naija
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Speaker 1: some years ago, and then I did another one for
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Speaker 1: like Rick Rass and you know all these people in
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Speaker 1: Heather was at the helm of that. Like literally, I
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Speaker 1: just I really appreciate women who are like that, women
4:01
Speaker 1: who are like they stirn with you when they need
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Speaker 1: to be, They're honest with you when they need to be,
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Speaker 1: they're strong with you when they need to be, but
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Speaker 1: also like they're real, Like they're real people who are
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Speaker 1: giving real advice, who just really care about your well being.
4:15
Speaker 1: People talk a lot about how this industry is so
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Speaker 1: fake and phony, but you really can run across good
4:21
Speaker 1: people in the process of being a good person as
4:23
Speaker 1: well too, and Heather is one of those people. So
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Speaker 1: shout out to her and shout out to Famit Forward
4:27
Speaker 1: and the Femland Cruise. So I'll be there this weekend,
4:29
Speaker 1: and my plan is to bring you guys as much
4:31
Speaker 1: sound bites as I can. The first day, like today
4:34
Speaker 1: we toast to you know, all the girls and the
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Speaker 1: black girls being on board and you know, kicking off
4:40
Speaker 1: the cruise. But we got Monica SWV and Keishako performing
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Speaker 1: today and that's just day one. So y'all know, I'm
4:47
Speaker 1: gonna bring you the latest from the cruise boats. So
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Speaker 1: I'm excited. If you cannot tell, I'm really excited. I'm
4:52
Speaker 1: in great spirits and I'm just ready to get on
4:56
Speaker 1: into the things.
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Speaker 2: So now let's get on to the latest.
5:03
Speaker 1: All right, y'all. So Kim Newton is back at it again.
5:07
Speaker 1: You should be very familiar with Kim Newton. I mean,
5:09
Speaker 1: he has this funky Friday podcast. But Kim Newton, you know,
5:14
Speaker 1: huge football player, super Bowl ring winner. You know, Kim
5:20
Speaker 1: Newton has done the things in all aspects of his career.
5:24
Speaker 2: But for some.
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Speaker 1: Reason, he just can't seem to talk about women in
5:28
Speaker 1: a way that I think it's fair. If I'm being
5:32
Speaker 1: and I have no issue with Kim Newton, but I
5:34
Speaker 1: just think his takes of women, although sometimes realistic, it's
5:38
Speaker 1: a bit unfair the way he's positioned. And I feel
5:41
Speaker 1: like he knows what he's doing when he's doing it,
5:43
Speaker 1: and it always works. We always get all rouled up.
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Speaker 1: So I'm not gonna let him get me riled up
5:47
Speaker 1: the day. Were gonna take a listen to the comment
5:48
Speaker 1: and we'll be right back.
5:49
Speaker 3: Let's say women's value get lower the more children that
5:52
Speaker 3: they have. Break that down because and I was having
5:56
Speaker 3: this conversation, you know, with one of the mother of
5:58
Speaker 3: my children, and he's still fine, you know what I'm saying,
6:03
Speaker 3: But like I was telling her, I was like, Yo,
6:06
Speaker 3: the god that you're dating or will date, if he
6:10
Speaker 3: ain't willing to love on these five children that you have,
6:15
Speaker 3: that ain't the guy for you. Because when I came
6:18
Speaker 3: into your life, I was willing to accept you and
6:21
Speaker 3: whatever you had. And there's guys that's out there that's
6:26
Speaker 3: just going to say my kids, I want you well,
6:30
Speaker 3: that ain't how at work. But that's not to say
6:33
Speaker 3: that she can't find nobody. I'm pretty sure she has somebody.
6:36
Speaker 4: Right, But do you feel like it's as the best
6:39
Speaker 4: that she could possibly do is she didn't have children.
6:41
Speaker 3: Well, you're talking to a dude that was once in
6:44
Speaker 3: her life. I don't feel like she's gonna get better
6:46
Speaker 3: than me. That's just my confidence.
6:48
Speaker 4: I don't even think it's confidence I have said, and
6:50
Speaker 4: I might get eaten alive. I don't think most women
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Speaker 4: do better than the father of their children. I really
6:55
Speaker 4: don't think that.
6:57
Speaker 3: It's really that's the barometer.
6:58
Speaker 1: So here's my thing with this conversation, women and their
7:03
Speaker 1: value and decreasing of it because the kids. It's like, yes,
7:08
Speaker 1: let's just talk about the heart truths first. As a woman,
7:11
Speaker 1: it is a heart truth knowing that when you have
7:14
Speaker 1: kids with someone and then you decide to no longer
7:18
Speaker 1: be with that person, your experience in the world, your
7:21
Speaker 1: experience dating, your experience moving forward in your career, and
7:25
Speaker 1: just in your day to day life is very different
7:27
Speaker 1: than a man with kids, and even that man that
7:31
Speaker 1: had the kids with you, It is very different. Number
7:33
Speaker 1: one being because normally what happens. And this isn't all
7:36
Speaker 1: the time. Shout out to the you know, single full
7:38
Speaker 1: time dads out there, but normally what happens is, you know,
7:42
Speaker 1: even if the man that you had kids with is
7:45
Speaker 1: superhands on and is a great dad as them, the
7:49
Speaker 1: babies came out of your body like as a mom,
7:52
Speaker 1: you know, the load is just heavier on your side.
7:55
Speaker 1: And it's not that the man that you had kids
7:58
Speaker 1: with is not helping. Let me be very when I
8:00
Speaker 1: say that, it's just it's just different. And I don't
8:04
Speaker 1: have kids, so you know, y'all like who she talk
8:06
Speaker 1: got no kids? Yeah, I don't have kids, but I
8:09
Speaker 1: have friends with kids who you know, are working through
8:12
Speaker 1: situations where it didn't work out with the with the
8:14
Speaker 1: father their children. I have family members you know that
8:17
Speaker 1: I'm very close to who you know I have that
8:20
Speaker 1: have gone through these things and being there and seeing
8:23
Speaker 1: what they're going through and seeing how they like rebuild
8:25
Speaker 1: their lives after it is very different.
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Speaker 3: Now.
8:28
Speaker 1: I do know men who have been in the same
8:30
Speaker 1: position where not that they're single full time dads, but
8:33
Speaker 1: these are men who have decided that you know, they're
8:38
Speaker 1: no longer going to be in a situation where they're
8:40
Speaker 1: in a family unit, right, and then they go out
8:42
Speaker 1: and they want to date and they want to rebuild
8:44
Speaker 1: their lives, and it's difficult on both sides.
8:46
Speaker 2: But if we're being honest, y'all, y'all.
8:51
Speaker 1: Look at single women with kids way differently than y'all
8:53
Speaker 1: look at a single man with kids, as long as
8:56
Speaker 1: he got that baby mama under control and he can
8:58
Speaker 1: afford you and whatever he got to do over there
9:01
Speaker 1: on the other side, for most women, it's.
9:03
Speaker 2: Not an issue at all.
9:05
Speaker 1: However, I wish I had one of my homegirls here
9:08
Speaker 1: right now, however, and maybe we'll have this conversation when
9:14
Speaker 1: we get on the cruise as well too. I think
9:15
Speaker 1: this might be a great conversation to bring amongst the
9:18
Speaker 1: group of women. I'll be Bill Monks, and I just
9:20
Speaker 1: gotta figure out how I'm gonna do it sound wise
9:22
Speaker 1: and all that.
9:22
Speaker 2: So stay tuned for that.
9:24
Speaker 1: Because one of my friends that's with me right now,
9:26
Speaker 1: she was actually we ride dinner last night and she
9:28
Speaker 1: was having a conversation, you know, and her child is
9:32
Speaker 1: older and she has a great co parent, like an
9:34
Speaker 1: amazing co parent, But she was saying, how like, you know,
9:38
Speaker 1: because the families were still so intertwined because of her son.
9:43
Speaker 1: It made things very difficult for her and when in
9:45
Speaker 1: trying to move forward because men were not comfortable with
9:49
Speaker 1: the fact that families were still intertwined. But I mean,
9:53
Speaker 1: y'all have kids together, and their son is to an
9:56
Speaker 1: age where they have no choice but to be very
10:00
Speaker 1: intertwined because he's older. So he wants to be with
10:02
Speaker 1: his cousins on both sides, he wants to be with
10:04
Speaker 1: grandma's on both sides. He wants mom and dad as
10:06
Speaker 1: certain things. And she she said, you know, that was
10:10
Speaker 1: an issue for her and still can be an issue
10:13
Speaker 1: for her today sometimes just because not even the relationship
10:17
Speaker 1: that her and her child's father have and they have
10:18
Speaker 1: a good one, but there's you know, there's boundaries there,
10:21
Speaker 1: but just because of the family aspects. And I was
10:23
Speaker 1: thinking about my own self, like you know, in dating
10:25
Speaker 1: men with kids, one of the things that you have
10:27
Speaker 1: to just suck up and get used to.
10:30
Speaker 2: And it's like you want it right, like you want
10:32
Speaker 2: a man that.
10:32
Speaker 1: Has a good relationship with his mother, with the mother
10:35
Speaker 1: of his kids, and with the family of his kids
10:38
Speaker 1: on the mother's side, because you want the best for
10:40
Speaker 1: the child want you love the man. You love the child,
10:42
Speaker 1: but also too, you want peace for that man. If
10:45
Speaker 1: you really with him and you love him, you want
10:46
Speaker 1: to be with him, you want peace for him, and
10:48
Speaker 1: that's normally what brings peace. However, it can be uncomfortable.
10:51
Speaker 1: It can be very uncomfortable because you have to trust
10:55
Speaker 1: blindly like you already trust him blindly, and being vulnerable
10:59
Speaker 1: because your heart isn't it And y'all know how that go.
11:02
Speaker 1: But when there's another woman who emotionally this man is
11:05
Speaker 1: tied to, even if they're not together because they share children,
11:09
Speaker 1: it's just different, especially because those emotions are things if
11:13
Speaker 1: you guys don't have kids, those emotions are things that
11:16
Speaker 1: you really like. That's something that they have together, and
11:19
Speaker 1: that causes fear for a lot of people. I've been
11:21
Speaker 1: there tooo, I've been there, but I think as women
11:26
Speaker 1: were like, he'll handle it and it's okay and we'll
11:29
Speaker 1: figure it out. I've never thought about any man that
11:33
Speaker 1: I've met with kids. My natural conversation has never went
11:38
Speaker 1: to the value of that man.
11:40
Speaker 2: Ever. It never but with women it does.
11:43
Speaker 1: And it's because number one, the relationships that men are
11:47
Speaker 1: just not okay with the relationships that you have to
11:49
Speaker 1: upkeep because you have children with someone the same way
11:52
Speaker 1: that women are. Number Two, if we being honest, men
11:56
Speaker 1: just don't want to take care of nobody kids. And
11:58
Speaker 1: I think people left that part out of what Kim
12:01
Speaker 1: Newton was saying because the way he got into this,
12:05
Speaker 1: he was actually talking about a conversation he was having
12:08
Speaker 1: with one of the mothers of his children. So and
12:11
Speaker 1: all these audios are on the It's Giving podcast with
12:13
Speaker 1: Sarah uh Fintanote or Fintonitt. I probably am saying her
12:17
Speaker 1: last thing wrong. I apologize Sarah, but her podcast is
12:19
Speaker 1: really good. I feel like her conversations really they get
12:21
Speaker 1: the people going. But yeah, listen, I don't Yeah, I
12:27
Speaker 1: told you on the opening of this this Kim and
12:29
Speaker 1: some of his statements are not my favorite. But if
12:31
Speaker 1: we're being honest, I understand where he's coming from because
12:36
Speaker 1: men don't be wanting to take care of them babies
12:38
Speaker 1: if them babies not theirs at all.
12:40
Speaker 2: And also too, I don't know, there's just this.
12:42
Speaker 1: Like double standard sexually about a man being able to
12:46
Speaker 1: go out and conquer the world and create children and
12:49
Speaker 1: create all these homes even if he doesn't stay in them,
12:52
Speaker 1: and that's a man. That's what men do versus a woman.
12:56
Speaker 1: Like men look at you if you're a woman with like,
12:59
Speaker 1: you know, children and your relationship didn't work, even if
13:02
Speaker 1: it's just one you share children with one man, not
13:05
Speaker 1: even multiple men, because that's a whole other conversation too.
13:08
Speaker 1: They love to you know, that's the whole thing. It's
13:12
Speaker 1: always like, well, what happened? What didn't work? Kim is
13:15
Speaker 1: not saying nothing that people haven't said before. It just
13:18
Speaker 1: is annoying to hear. But the reason why I was
13:21
Speaker 1: saying that it's unfair in the beginning of this podcast
13:23
Speaker 1: is because I think men never take into account all
13:28
Speaker 1: the things that women have to do for us to
13:30
Speaker 1: even be valued in the first place, especially Black women.
13:33
Speaker 1: And I know Cam talks in this same podcast episode
13:36
Speaker 1: about men and you know, men not being loved unconditionally
13:41
Speaker 1: Black men and only being looked at as providers. Will
13:43
Speaker 1: get to that, but I think for a lot of men,
13:47
Speaker 1: it's like women have to do. So it's like, okay,
13:52
Speaker 1: if I am if i am working a career and
13:57
Speaker 1: I'm good at what i do and I'm making good
13:59
Speaker 1: money and I'm riting for myself and I am self sufficient,
14:02
Speaker 1: and I have standards, and I want you to come
14:04
Speaker 1: to the table with something I might be. You know,
14:08
Speaker 1: those girls are out it or outlisted, right, Like most
14:12
Speaker 1: of the time, those women are looked at as like
14:14
Speaker 1: difficult or uh, we understand why you're single, or too
14:20
Speaker 1: much attitude, or your standards are too high. Right, So
14:23
Speaker 1: you have that pocket, and then you have the pocket
14:25
Speaker 1: of Okay. I'm a woman who decided that I wanted
14:28
Speaker 1: to be a career wife and mother, and I've dedicated
14:32
Speaker 1: my life to this man, and I've built this family
14:34
Speaker 1: with this man, and then one day it just doesn't
14:36
Speaker 1: work and he decides to leave or I decide to leave,
14:39
Speaker 1: and now I'm starting from scratch. So I'm, you know,
14:42
Speaker 1: starting from scratch of like figuring out career and who
14:45
Speaker 1: I am and what I have going on. And then
14:47
Speaker 1: those women are put in a box of okay because
14:50
Speaker 1: you aren't sometimes financially stable. The way that a man
14:55
Speaker 1: that you may meet is because those women, you know,
14:57
Speaker 1: may look for a man to take care of them,
15:00
Speaker 1: which I'm not knocking, you know, but I'm just making
15:02
Speaker 1: a difference in lifestyle. So those women might be like, Okay, look,
15:06
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get myself together. I won't be self sufficient,
15:08
Speaker 1: but I'm used to being a wife and a mother
15:11
Speaker 1: to a man that takes care of everything and brings
15:13
Speaker 1: everything home. It is very hard nowadays to find a
15:17
Speaker 1: man that will do all of that and will still
15:20
Speaker 1: treat you as if you are as equal of a
15:22
Speaker 1: human being as he. Is, very very hard to find
15:25
Speaker 1: that those type of men. Child that is I was
15:27
Speaker 1: gonna say, that's so old school, but even old school,
15:29
Speaker 1: I feel like, you know, the whole like gender.
15:34
Speaker 2: Equality, like that whole thing was always a thing.
15:37
Speaker 1: But I think nowadays men it's so scared the way
15:40
Speaker 1: that men try to control you with money. So it's
15:43
Speaker 1: like it's hard, like you can't be this, like you
15:45
Speaker 1: can't be too much of the I got it all
15:47
Speaker 1: figured out. I need you, but I got to learn
15:50
Speaker 1: how to need you, and you can't be too much
15:52
Speaker 1: of the I need you because now you've got to
15:54
Speaker 1: be scared of like how much will you be controlled?
15:56
Speaker 2: Because of that?
15:57
Speaker 1: And then you got kids too as well, so you're
15:59
Speaker 1: making decisions based off of your children and trying to
16:02
Speaker 1: make sure they're good, not even about yourself. And in
16:05
Speaker 1: all these situations, I've never once talked about value, because
16:09
Speaker 1: I've only talked about things that devalue us, like I
16:12
Speaker 1: can only speak from my experience and saying that, like
16:15
Speaker 1: I feel like it's always a fight for us to
16:17
Speaker 1: have valued conversation. Then there's like the whole like fertility
16:22
Speaker 1: conversation and the time clock and your time clock and
16:24
Speaker 1: your age devalues you.
16:26
Speaker 2: As a woman.
16:28
Speaker 1: The older men get it's like, oh my god, he
16:30
Speaker 1: got hisself together, he seasoned, he's ready to we just
16:34
Speaker 1: he's ready to settle down. We just heard Clifton Power
16:36
Speaker 1: say he just learned how to love somebody at seventy
16:37
Speaker 1: years old, somebody you know, younger than him, who was
16:41
Speaker 1: looking just for stability, not even just financially and like physically,
16:45
Speaker 1: but like looking for stability and love and being able
16:47
Speaker 1: to be vulnerable Clift and power. Hey, I mean he's
16:51
Speaker 1: providing well for himself. You know, he's not a bad
16:53
Speaker 1: looking older man, but he's telling you, I'm finally at
16:56
Speaker 1: the age where I want to be fully about somebody
16:58
Speaker 1: and about a family and about all the things.
17:00
Speaker 2: That's what a woman wants. But he's seventy. A woman at.
17:04
Speaker 1: Sixty five fifty years old that is single and still
17:07
Speaker 1: trying to figure it out. It's like, m what was
17:09
Speaker 1: wrong with her that she never got herself together. We
17:12
Speaker 1: always hear from men and women. I've always been told
17:16
Speaker 1: because you don't want to end up sixty five, seventy
17:18
Speaker 1: and alone. No one tells men that. Nobody's like nobody.
17:24
Speaker 1: I've never heard my brother or any of my male
17:27
Speaker 1: friends be like, you don't want to end up seventy
17:29
Speaker 1: and alone. I think we just assume that men will
17:31
Speaker 1: always conquer and will always figure it out. And even
17:34
Speaker 1: when we do speak to men about getting it together
17:36
Speaker 1: and not wanting to be alone, it's never from a
17:38
Speaker 1: devalued place.
17:39
Speaker 2: For women.
17:40
Speaker 1: It's like once you get you know your age clock
17:43
Speaker 1: going to run out, no more babies, menopause. It's always
17:47
Speaker 1: these like detractor things. So I for me, I've had
17:50
Speaker 1: to change the conversation. And that's what I mean by fairness,
17:53
Speaker 1: Like I think when people have these conversations, you can
17:55
Speaker 1: be honest, but like less have a full conversation about
17:58
Speaker 1: like how we even ended up toot where like devaluing
18:02
Speaker 1: women because of babies that they have a gift to
18:05
Speaker 1: the world, Like literally women are birth in human beings,
18:08
Speaker 1: you know, how many women don't make Black women don't
18:10
Speaker 1: make it through childbirth. And we tell we out here,
18:14
Speaker 1: we out here at the top of our lung sand.
18:15
Speaker 1: Because you met it through childbirth and you brought this
18:18
Speaker 1: beautiful baby into the world, your value has now decreased.
18:24
Speaker 2: That is insane to me.
18:25
Speaker 1: When a man welcomes to his child into the world,
18:27
Speaker 1: especially if it's a boy and a junior. Oh my god.
18:30
Speaker 1: The kingdom continues. It's like lion King when they hold
18:34
Speaker 1: up you know, uh, what's the lion King's son Simba
18:39
Speaker 1: when they hit look y'all, it's been a minute.
18:41
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm thirty four.
18:42
Speaker 1: When they hold up Simba over you know, the whole
18:45
Speaker 1: like the rock, it's like.
18:47
Speaker 2: Yes, the kingdom continues. The last name continues. We don't
18:52
Speaker 2: even get talked about like that.
18:53
Speaker 1: We get devalue because we had a baby. So let's
18:58
Speaker 1: be fair. My whole thing is like, look, go ahead,
19:00
Speaker 1: have the conversation.
19:01
Speaker 2: Do what you do, boo.
19:02
Speaker 1: Kim is really good at Kim Doton is really good
19:04
Speaker 1: at what he does. Though, like I have any time
19:06
Speaker 1: I ever talk about him in the moments that he
19:08
Speaker 1: has like this, I always say that man knows what
19:10
Speaker 1: he's doing.
19:11
Speaker 2: He's really good at the content thing.
19:13
Speaker 1: But let's be fair when we have the conversation and
19:15
Speaker 1: not just talk about, Okay, women are devalued because of
19:18
Speaker 1: children or the more children they have, right, Let's talk
19:21
Speaker 1: about like how we got there and how unfair it
19:23
Speaker 1: is that men aren't either, because, let me tell y'all something,
19:27
Speaker 1: the older and more responsible for my life and myself
19:30
Speaker 1: I get. I don't want nobody that comes with a
19:32
Speaker 1: lot of anything. You gotta have it together at period,
19:36
Speaker 1: so you can have kids, but please have it together
19:40
Speaker 1: when it comes to how you take care of your children,
19:43
Speaker 1: the relationships with the children's mother, the like, there's a
19:46
Speaker 1: lot to it. Were not just accepting anything anymore. We
19:49
Speaker 1: have in the same conversations there are women literally that
19:52
Speaker 1: don't want nobody with care. They don't want it. They
19:54
Speaker 1: don't because of the baggage that it comes with. And
19:57
Speaker 1: I think that's another conversation as well too. And we
19:59
Speaker 1: talked about it a bit when I said, men don't
20:00
Speaker 1: be wanting to take care of nobody else's babies. They
20:02
Speaker 1: look at certain things as baggage. But like everybody comes
20:05
Speaker 1: to baggage, you just pick and choose who shit you
20:07
Speaker 1: want to deal with, and a lot of it cut boil.
20:12
Speaker 1: All boils down to how things are being handled. If
20:16
Speaker 1: a woman has children and she is handling her business
20:19
Speaker 1: and she has, you know, things going on and things happening,
20:22
Speaker 1: and it is not you know, messing up how you
20:25
Speaker 1: date her, how you court her, the time that you
20:27
Speaker 1: spend together. It would be so nice to not be devalued.
20:32
Speaker 1: You know what I mean, because I've also experienced life
20:34
Speaker 1: as well too. We can't even be single out here
20:38
Speaker 1: dating no more. If you single and you out here dating,
20:41
Speaker 1: you gotta be so I mean, you should already be
20:43
Speaker 1: selective about who's entering your space and your body, but
20:46
Speaker 1: you gotta be even careful about how you talk about
20:48
Speaker 1: the experience you had dating, because we should, as women,
20:52
Speaker 1: be able to date, experience, learn grow, know what we like,
20:55
Speaker 1: what we don't like. But please be careful how you
20:59
Speaker 1: talk about it when you meet that the men that
21:00
Speaker 1: you're really trying to be with, because your experience with
21:03
Speaker 1: other people even devalues you too, Like we got to
21:06
Speaker 1: be so careful. We got a tiptoe so much, yo.
21:09
Speaker 1: Now let's get into it. I'm gonna end this with
21:12
Speaker 1: a point that Kim Newton brought up in the same
21:14
Speaker 1: interview where he talks about men and black men's specifically
21:17
Speaker 1: not experiencing unconditional love.
21:19
Speaker 2: Mistic.
21:21
Speaker 4: Now watch an episode with you and Tdjkes and you
21:24
Speaker 4: said you don't feel like you can ever take the
21:26
Speaker 4: mask off. You can only do that with your children.
21:29
Speaker 4: Do you feel like that robs you of your humanity?
21:31
Speaker 3: No, because that's the only feeling that I have where
21:33
Speaker 3: it's unconditional.
21:35
Speaker 2: What does that mean?
21:36
Speaker 3: Expectfully, any man, any provider, can't agree with this statement.
21:43
Speaker 3: There's no such thing as unconditional love. You only get
21:46
Speaker 3: that from very few people on this earth. One of
21:51
Speaker 3: those group of people are your parents. Lucky if they
21:54
Speaker 3: love you unconditional, you commit a crime, they love you.
21:57
Speaker 3: You are failure you you do something that's against their will,
22:03
Speaker 3: they still love you, right, and then that's your children.
22:08
Speaker 3: Like we go different places. I get accolades, I get awards,
22:12
Speaker 3: I get you know, certain experiences, and a lot of
22:15
Speaker 3: people put me on the pedestal. I don't know why.
22:18
Speaker 3: But to my children that's Daddy. To other people it's
22:22
Speaker 3: oh my god, this can do, oh my this, And
22:24
Speaker 3: they don't care nothing about that. They don't want that.
22:27
Speaker 3: Only thing they want is time. And that mask only
22:30
Speaker 3: comes off for them because they see through the minutia.
22:33
Speaker 3: They see through like man, welcome to fourth and one,
22:37
Speaker 3: what like hey, welcome to fucking Friday. They see first take,
22:41
Speaker 3: they see today hey one or six sport? They see
22:43
Speaker 3: all that, all those characters that you may see online,
22:47
Speaker 3: My children just see me. When you're dealing with other entities,
22:51
Speaker 3: whether relationship wise, wives, girlfriends, significant others, partners, if your
22:57
Speaker 3: husband don't do right by you, there's only a certain
23:00
Speaker 3: amount of time where you're just gonna say all right, no,
23:03
Speaker 3: I ain't gonna keep dealing with this now. Well, with
23:06
Speaker 3: your children, they still gonna choose you. And that's the
23:10
Speaker 3: true essence of what unconditional love is. And that's I
23:14
Speaker 3: said it. People think it, and you can't find another
23:17
Speaker 3: source that will love you regardless of who you are.
23:21
Speaker 3: And that's what I mean by.
23:23
Speaker 2: I'm not mad at this comment at all.
23:25
Speaker 1: I do think it's a little gas lighted, especially because
23:28
Speaker 1: Kim Newton is an a relationship with a woman who
23:30
Speaker 1: has just given him to babies. Who I mean, I
23:33
Speaker 1: don't know her personally, but there's been a lot that
23:36
Speaker 1: she has had to endure publicly because of some of
23:38
Speaker 1: his statements, and she still right to die for the man.
23:40
Speaker 1: She has to love him down and very unconditionally. That
23:45
Speaker 1: is probably like my only pushback on it. But the
23:48
Speaker 1: reason why I don't have an issue with the statement
23:49
Speaker 1: is because I do have a lot of male friends,
23:51
Speaker 1: and even like my boyfriend, like we I all the time,
23:54
Speaker 1: I feel like one of the things that I love
23:55
Speaker 1: doing and I don't get it right all the time.
23:58
Speaker 1: I can be a lot to deal with, but one
23:59
Speaker 1: of the thing I love doing is just like reminded
24:01
Speaker 1: him that like he's like God's gift to the world,
24:03
Speaker 1: because what I learned from my brother. Actually, recently, my
24:07
Speaker 1: little brother we were having a conversation just about his
24:11
Speaker 1: feelings and we had never done that, but he was
24:13
Speaker 1: going through some things and he was just like, y'all,
24:15
Speaker 1: don't ever hear me.
24:17
Speaker 2: And then I'm like, well, I want to hear you.
24:18
Speaker 2: Let me listen.
24:18
Speaker 1: We had a conversation and it broke my heart to
24:22
Speaker 1: hear him feel like he wasn't valuable to us because
24:25
Speaker 1: of what he couldn't do physically, And I'm like, oh
24:28
Speaker 1: my god, I don't even expect physical things from you,
24:32
Speaker 1: like my love has nothing to do with any of that.
24:36
Speaker 1: But as a man, I think, you know how, because
24:39
Speaker 1: of how men are some men were really all men,
24:42
Speaker 1: I think because of how men are positioned in the world,
24:45
Speaker 1: in society and raising their households. It's like, if you're
24:47
Speaker 1: not physically doing, you don't feel like much. And as
24:50
Speaker 1: a woman, when I'm not achieving my goals, when I'm
24:53
Speaker 1: not able to do for myself physically and do for
24:55
Speaker 1: the people I love, I don't feel like nothing.
24:58
Speaker 2: But men take it on so much heavy.
25:02
Speaker 1: And I wish that Like that's one of the things
25:05
Speaker 1: that as I get older as a woman and I
25:07
Speaker 1: become accountable for my actions and how I make people feel.
25:11
Speaker 1: Oh Lord, that has been a journey that I'm still on.
25:14
Speaker 1: One of the things that I really really really really
25:18
Speaker 1: feel like I try to talk to even my friends
25:22
Speaker 1: about is the fact that like, men are not these
25:27
Speaker 1: like blank canvases that like don't want to be filled
25:31
Speaker 1: up and filled with color. Like they are just as colorful,
25:34
Speaker 1: they're just as vibrant, they're just as loving, you know
25:37
Speaker 1: all of that. It's just sometimes they come with this
25:41
Speaker 1: like blank canvas, hard exterior because of what they've walked
25:44
Speaker 1: through in the world, or how they've been you know, raised,
25:46
Speaker 1: or you know, that might have been what they needed
25:48
Speaker 1: to do to get to where they were to be
25:50
Speaker 1: able to provide and to be able to honestly like
25:52
Speaker 1: meet you at a certain point. But you got to
25:55
Speaker 1: kind of really peel back that layer because I know,
25:58
Speaker 1: as a woman, like I get to the point sometimes
26:00
Speaker 1: I'm like, yo, I'm tired of doing everything for everybody,
26:02
Speaker 1: like we naturally, just especially Black women, like we are
26:05
Speaker 1: naturally just like nurtures, and we want man, I would love,
26:09
Speaker 1: I would love to solve so many things, a real
26:12
Speaker 1: cure for cancer being the first of them. Just so
26:16
Speaker 1: many things that I would I wish I could do
26:19
Speaker 1: so that I could like make sure that people that
26:21
Speaker 1: I love can never hurt again and always just be
26:23
Speaker 1: happy and always be good. And that's just like the
26:26
Speaker 1: nature of a woman to just jump in and be
26:28
Speaker 1: like I got it, don't worry about it.
26:29
Speaker 2: I'm gonna protect you. I got you.
26:32
Speaker 1: And a lot of times when you do that, and
26:34
Speaker 1: you've always done that, you get depleted. You'd be burnt out.
26:38
Speaker 1: Men get there too, they just don't talk about it.
26:40
Speaker 1: We're a lot more vocal, but they get there too,
26:42
Speaker 1: they just don't talk about it. So I'm trying to
26:44
Speaker 1: be a lot more aware of the fact that that
26:45
Speaker 1: feeling is there and that it's a real thing, and
26:47
Speaker 1: that even when it's there, they might not even express
26:50
Speaker 1: her to talk about it. You kind of just gotta like, no,
26:53
Speaker 1: you literally just gotta know. And even when you don't know,
26:56
Speaker 1: because there's sometimes where like I might not know what's
26:59
Speaker 1: happening with like my boyfriend or my brother, and I'll
27:02
Speaker 1: still call and be like, hey, what's up, just checking Well,
27:05
Speaker 1: my boyfriend talk to him every day, but my brother,
27:07
Speaker 1: I don't talk to him every day, but I'll still
27:09
Speaker 1: call and be like, hey, what's up, just checking on you.
27:10
Speaker 1: Or if I don't call him because we don't talk
27:12
Speaker 1: on the phone all the time, I'll just text him
27:15
Speaker 1: and be like, hey, I love you, or you know
27:18
Speaker 1: you need anything, like and he, my little brother, is
27:22
Speaker 1: the epitome of a little brother. Like he'd be getting
27:24
Speaker 1: on my nerves, but I just always want him to
27:28
Speaker 1: feel like you got somebody and you got something that
27:32
Speaker 1: no matter what you do, have done, where you go,
27:36
Speaker 1: where you don't go, will always be right there with
27:38
Speaker 1: you and it's us, it's your family, it's me, it's
27:40
Speaker 1: your sister, And I went, you know, and I think
27:43
Speaker 1: that's what Kim Newton is speaking to. It's like having
27:45
Speaker 1: your children make you feel that way. But and you know,
27:48
Speaker 1: potentially mom, dad, and some family members, but you don't
27:52
Speaker 1: always get that from a lot of people in your
27:54
Speaker 1: life as a man, is what he's speaking to. So yeah,
28:00
Speaker 1: I said, I wasn't gonna get all worked up, and
28:01
Speaker 1: here I am early in the morning about the head
28:03
Speaker 1: of this cruise, all worked up because my value decreases
28:06
Speaker 1: because I want to bring life into this world.
28:08
Speaker 2: Chiad.
28:09
Speaker 1: The people are crazy, honey, the people are crazy. But
28:13
Speaker 1: thank y'all for tuning in this episode. I'm Laura l Rosa.
28:15
Speaker 1: This has been another episode of the Latest with Laura
28:18
Speaker 1: l Rosa. You're daily dig on all things pop culture,
28:21
Speaker 1: entertainment and conversations.
28:22
Speaker 2: That shake the room.
28:23
Speaker 1: And I tell y'all every episode, y'all could be anywhere
28:27
Speaker 1: with anybody talking about all of these things, but y'all
28:31
Speaker 1: choose to be right here with me. And I appreciate
28:33
Speaker 1: y'all for that, My Low Riders so much. I'm gonna
28:35
Speaker 1: catch yall on the flip side, maybe some bonus episodes
28:38
Speaker 1: will come out of this weekend, because I'm headed on
28:40
Speaker 1: a cruise, y'all.