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Two things experienced by over 1/3 of Kenyan men | HBR Talk 277 · Honey Badger Radio

• 0:00
  Hello, Ian, Welcome to HBr Talk two seventy seven. Two Things experienced
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  by over a third of Kenyan men. I'm your host Hannah Wallen here with
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  Nonsense annihilator Lauren Brooks Any Personification of perceptivity Mike Stevenson, and tonight we're going
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  to examine an article from the Nation about Kenyan men's experiences of partner violence and
• 0:25
  one more thing. But first we gotta before we get to that, we
• 0:30
  gotta do what we gotta do. As always, Honey Badger Radio dishes out
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  of it at at Twitter and that's basically it. So we've talked about this
• 2:28
  topic quite a bit in regard to the United States, Canada, the UK,
• 2:35
  a little bit. In India. We've talked about in Deborah Pawnee's research
• 2:42
  on coercive control and how she found by by a surveying worldwide that this is
• 2:52
  a widespread problem in many countries. But I ran across this article the other
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  day and I thought, you know, we really we probably ought to look
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  into it. And this is statistics. I believe the the research cited in
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  this is actually a Kenyan government thing like our NISVS, just from what I
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  was looking into about it. So here's the article and I managed to scroll
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  down for some reason. But a third of Kenyan men are mistreated by their
• 3:23
  partners. And you know, we hear, we hear about how many women
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  are victims of partner abuse, and we hear about what percentage of partner abuse
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  in western countries is known to be perpetrated by women, but we don't think
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  about as a as a society how many male victims that means. And this
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  this basically like one out of every third three Kenyan men has experienced some form
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  of partner abuse. Every three has reported, Yeah, has reported. And
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  see that's the other thing, because there's two things that they experience here.
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  So the article is really blatant and open about describing the first thing. So
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  we'll see if you guys can figure out the second thing is as I read
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  through, and I'm not going to read the bullet points because I think those
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  are also stated again later in the story. Every time I read those that
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  I end up rereading them later. More than a third of Kenyan men have
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  experienced intimate partner violence. The recently released twenty twenty two Kenya Demographic and Health
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  Survey indicates that thirty six percent of men have suffered economic, psychological, physical,
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  or sexual violence at some point in their relationships. And that's the first
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  thing I want to point out. When feminists hear this, they always ignore,
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  Like we've mentioned here four things, right, economic, psychological, which
• 5:04
  is emotional, physical, and sexual violence. They will ignore three of those
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  things, focus on the psychological and talk about it as though it's psychological abuse
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  doesn't matter when it happens to men. But the reason that psychological abuse gets
• 5:28
  counted as domestic violence is because feminists fought very hard to have that included in
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  the law and to have it included in the types of domestic abuse that women's
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  shelters and women's organizations address. Right, so it matters when it happens to
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  women. So if it matters when it happens to women, it matters when
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  it happens to men. If matters when it's done to women, it matters
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  when it's done by women. So any of our hate listeners that that are
• 6:09
  sitting there saying to themselves, well, this is all about psychological abuse,
• 6:13
  you can shut up right now. Because there's four things mentioned, and all
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  four of them are deemed legitimate when women experience them men. And there's a
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  reason the reason there's a reason psychological is the most controversial of them because they
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  because there's no scars from that. There's there's physical scars that I guess there's
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  sexual scars, aren't at least there's a forensic evidence of that kind of damage.
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  And there's economic evidence of economic abuse. But you can't really prove psychological.
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  It's all. It's all, it's all he said, she said,
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  and whatnot. But like you said, if if it's if it's viable when
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  it's done to women, it's viable when it's done to men. If it's
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  not, it's not, So we can put an asterisk connext to psychological.
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  But the other three you know, very very much important. Yeah, well,
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  and I'll point out people who are are raised in violent households, abusive
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  households, or who have experienced trauma throughout, say their childhood. So say
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  the children of men who experienced domestic violence, or the children of women who
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  experienced domestic violence, and especially the children in two way violent households were extreme
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  violent households or households just households where it's very obvious from the way they talk
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  to each other that the parents don't love each other at all. That that
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  actually damages a part of your DNA called the telomeres, and your aging process
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  occurs. The deterioration. It's part of your aging process. Skin wrinkles from
• 7:57
  skin cells not reproducing correctly, or from the elasticity being lost, the loss
• 8:01
  of connected tissue and stuff like that that results from those telomeres being shortened over
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  time. They're they're sort of like a buffer at each end of your DNA.
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  And as those shorten, you look older, you feel older, you
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  start to have more physical pain, you start to slow down, you get
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  fat more easily, you know, those kind of things. And it also
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  affects your cognition, your your emotional toughness, resilience, and stuff like that.
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  And so in a household, for instance, where one partner is constantly
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  belittling and haranguing, browbeating the other. Even if there's no punches thrown,
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  even if there's no slapping, kicking, even if the voices are never raised,
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  you just you know, you you notice that the individual being being mistreated
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  is stressed all the time and is walking on eggshells around their partner, and
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  their partner is constantly cruel. Right, all those things affect the children.
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  So your kids are heavily impacted. Their lives are shortened, their future health
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  is impacted, their psychological health is impacted. The way that they form ideas
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  about how relationship should work is impacted. So even if we turn around and
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  said, well, you know, women behaving that way toward men, we
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  don't care. If we didn't care about that, you're still looking at all
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  of those kids in those relationships, all of those families raising children that are
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  going to be impacted for the rest of their lives by this. But if
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  that happens just from w missing that, though, imagine what happens to the
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  individual who's experiencing it. Right. If growing up in a violent environment or
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  growing up in an abusive environment shortens your lifespan, imagine how much more it
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  shortens it being the person who suffers abuse and that's not gendered and that no,
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  and that's that's also the kind of psychological damage that feminists and women will
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  ignore, right m hm. They don't, they don't, They don't care
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  about what the kids go through. But that that even if the children are
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  never like sexually abused or physically touched, that psychological abuse that happens, because
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  it does happen in in when they're raised in homes that are unstable in that
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  way, you know, they don't care about that. They don't care about
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  that I was, I was doing what I had to do. Oh,
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  your father was this that and the other? You know, it's it's it's
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  always the blame game, and you know, it's ridiculous, just the kids
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  of the ms that suffer. And if you if you really want to,
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  you know, you really want to get into what happens uh with with kids
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  raising those environments and what happens with living in a long term environment like that.
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  One thing to look into is complex PTSD. And this is we understand
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  PTSD through its symptoms. It's it is a natural response to extreme circumstances or
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  two circumstances that are that are crazy. Basically, so you're saying, if
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  you have PTSD, it's considered a mental health condition, right, and it's
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  also a physical health condition because there are physical symptoms of PTSD. But complex
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  PTSD is a little harder for people to get a grasp on because it's not
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  necessarily from an incident that was traumatic, and it's not necessarily from things like
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  being in war zone, you know, in combat. It's from a lifetime
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  of repeated traumas that create in the individual of response where they have the same
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  trauma response as PTSD, where they're they're hyper alert, they're constantly expecting another
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  trauma. They're unable to interact normally with other people because of the types of
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  traumas they've had. They have triggers, they have flashbacks, they have all
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  of you know, they may react to situations abnormally, specifically because it harkens
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  back to something that they don't even realize was that traumatic. And I I
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  mean, I've been very close to people who were raised in environments like that
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  and whose responses to things like an ordinary argument or or a heated debate over
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  you know, should we do this or should we do that? And I
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  think this is dangerous and that's safer. I think that's more going to be
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  more beneficial to us. We might it might be worth more with the risk,
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  you know, that kind of thing where they have more difficulty treating that
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  as not being a battle, you know, treating it as well, we're
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  hashing out these ideas and we're still going to be friends when it's over.
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  You know. There's there's a lot of that. And so when we talk
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  about this type of psychological or emotional violence, that's that's something that is very
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  misunderstood, I think by a lot of people, and they like to refer
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  to it as just hurt feelings, and I don't think people understand the level
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  to which that can go. Things like somebody, somebody constantly or frequently,
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  you know, threatening to abandon their partner in an environment where that abandonment would
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  come with significant financial loss and create a significant barrier to other family relationships,
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  like the relationship with the children. And it's it's a lot more traumatic to
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  have your your spouse threatened to divorce you if that threat comes with those consequences,
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  right, and you can't just move on to another person and still have
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  the same life. They're threatening to actually wreck your whole life over and over
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  again. You know, you have people being torn down all the time by
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  their their partners, belittled, humiliated in front of other people. And that's
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  what sort of described here psychological and there's and there's kind of two different ways
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  of doing this. Yeah. One one one way we often see is when
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  a woman says, even in the company of her male partner, you know,
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  all men are the same. All men are immature men, men can't
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  multitask, men can't deal with colds and stuff. And they say all this
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  about men in general, and and and and her male partner just has to
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  sit there and listen to this, just just hoping she totally doesn't mean me,
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  and a lot a lot of the times they don't because a lot of
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  the times, particularly feminists have this way of talking about all all males or
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  men, but they don't mean their family because because when pressed upon this,
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  they will say, well, I don't hate men. I have a husband,
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  I have I have sons, I have a fire, I own several
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  I don't hate them. It's much like I don't hate black people. Some
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  of my best friends of black. Apparently apparently that's racist. But when when
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  you say the equivalent thing about men, it's it's it's not sexist, but
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  like I said, that's one way of approaching it. And and some women
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  really do have this disconnect, like they do genuinely love the men in their
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  lives, but they hate all the other men they married the one good man,
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  right, well, it's it's it's the those other men that she's never
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  met. They aren't legally obliged to look after her. It just it just
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  happens that the men who aren't legally obliged to look after her are the other
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  ones she thinks are all scumbags. But she loves the men in her life.
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  And then there's and then there's the this this other thing, this this
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  thing that we're focused on focusing on in this article. That that that some
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  that some women really are prone to relational aggression as we call it. That
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  they might not even hate or men, but they particularly hate the men in
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  that well, they particularly demean the men, the men in their lives.
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  And and and they don't do it like like male friends do with each other,
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  like they just rib each other. And for the bants, basically,
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  when when certain women do it, do it to the men in their lives,
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  it goes beyond the bants it's it's it's that there's so preoccupied with the
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  wearing the pants in this relationship that they have to keep demeaning the men closest
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  to them. And that's and that's in a way even more sinister. And
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  it's it's not even feminist in nature, like I say, it's relationally aggressive
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  in nature. They they lash out against particularly the men in their lives,
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  yea. And they're there are ways that you can psychologically abuse someone that people
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  don't think about that are particularly harmful in that they they affect the individual's view
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  of themselves and their view of their reputation, their level of confidence in everyday
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  interactions, their level of confidence in their their careers, and so Onlike putting
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  your disloyalty on display by letting it be known, not just cheating, but
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  letting it be known publicly that you're doing it right, or being publicly affectionate
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  toward people of the opposite sex that are not your partner in a way that
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  is over the top. Not just like hugging all your friends male and female
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  in a group that everybody does that, but you know, kissing on them,
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  holding hands with somebody that's not your partner, you know, anything that
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  isn't the usual, Like we're buddies as a group, where we when when
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  we say hello and goodbye, we do these things in addition to the greeting,
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  and that that really can be damaging actually to both sexes, and I've
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  seen that happen as well. You know, if if a woman were subjected
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  to years and years of a man degrading her just by over and over again
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  making nasty comments about her appearance and her weight and her her attractiveness, you
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  know, like you can't, you couldn't, you couldn't get anybody else's attention.
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  You had to settle for me, that kind of thing. Feminists would
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  immediately acknowledge that that's that's abuse, and that's going to affect everything in her
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  behavior and can even drive someone to suicide. But when a woman does it
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  to a man and the man complains, they turn around and say, well,
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  you know, his feelings are just hurt. But men care about their
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  appearance, men care about their attractiveness, men care if their partner is attracted
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  to them. They're human beings, of course they care about those things,
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  and we're just supposed to ignore that. So the article says, men in
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  urban areas are more likely than their rural counterparts to encounter at least one form
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  of violence psychological or emotional violence, including humiliation in front of others, threats
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  to hurt or harm. And that's another one. Somebody says one of these
• 20:33
  days, I Am going to sock you right in the jaw, and they
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  mean it, you know, one of these days, Alice power right,
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  and the kisser like, and it's it's it's funny on TV when you know
• 20:45
  that it's just an expression of frustration and he doesn't mean it. But you
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  know, The Honeymooners was really a show about a verbally abusive relationship. If
• 20:53
  everything they said was in seriousness, if they were mean to each other in
• 20:57
  seriousness, and if you take everything seriously in that show, it's very depressing.
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  And you know, I watched it as a kid and found it to
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  be so because I didn't get that the the gags were all, you know,
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  them being affectionate by poking fun at each other. I'm gonna tear your
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  arm off and beat you with it, like you know, and I like
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  Karen's family kind of does that. But it's all, you know, joking
• 21:25
  around. Nobody's serious about it. But when it's serious, it becomes scary.
• 21:32
  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm just gonna say I watched that show.
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  I loved that show, and I totally got it. You know.
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  It was kind of like the pre empt to the Rosanne show. Yeah,
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  right, like just the you give as good as you get, you know,
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  and as much as as as Ralph gave, Alice gave just as much.
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  You know, she had some good she has some good ones, she
• 22:03
  has some good singers in there, really good funny show. But I can
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  I can see how, you know, if you don't really understand the framework
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  of it. It's like, why are people how can you be like this?
• 22:17
  You know what I mean? This doesn't seem normal. Yeah. Well,
• 22:19
  and like you don't notice how affectionate they are to each other physically kind
• 22:25
  of you know, and as a kid, that like that went over my
• 22:27
  head. Oh they're physically affectionate. They don't mean any of things they're saying.
• 22:33
  Oh this thing just jumped on me, damn because I didn't do I
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  wasn't interacting with a page. Okay, sorry. So in addition to you
• 22:44
  know, threats to hurt, hurt or harm when when it means that,
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  it's as serious threats insults are belitiment was the most prevalent, with twenty five
• 22:51
  percent of men having endured it at some point. And again, where got
• 22:56
  to remind you, this is men having reported that they've endured it, right.
• 23:03
  Additionally, nineteen percent of male respondents there we Go shared that they had
• 23:07
  experienced this form of violence within the year preceding the survey. Weighing in on
• 23:14
  the statistics, I'm going to butcher him. I'm sorry, not Alan,
• 23:18
  but I think this is kud Sushi. I think I'm supposed to pronounce all
• 23:23
  the letters. So Alan kud Sushi recalls how he experienced emotional violence without knowing
• 23:30
  it until much later when a friend described what he had gone through. It's
• 23:36
  always how she would demean me. It was always how she would demean me,
• 23:41
  no matter what I did for her, and how she constantly compared me
• 23:45
  with other men, reminding me what her ideal type of man was, which
• 23:49
  apparently was not me. And just that alone. I don't think people real
• 24:00
  lies how common that is. If you look at relationships in Western culture,
• 24:08
  for instance, like there's never a time when men are not compared to each
• 24:15
  other and in terms of in terms of relationships, and you get treated like
• 24:21
  a deadbeat for not being as good of a protector, provider, affection,
• 24:26
  shower, ass kisser as the next guy. Right, if if you're not,
• 24:37
  if you're you're not giving or big enough Valentine's Day gifts, If you
• 24:41
  didn't buy a big enough engagement ring, you didn't spend enough month's salary on
• 24:48
  a symbol that doesn't really determine whether you are in love or not. If
• 24:56
  your your provision is a enough that you know her, her her living environment
• 25:03
  is luxurious enough. If your provision isn't enough that you guys can go on
• 25:08
  vacations if she has to work. Women will belittle their men over all of
• 25:14
  those things, right, And women will belittle each other's men and not you
• 25:18
  know, the wife will not defend, and they'll get together in groups and
• 25:22
  you know, and gossip about their partners. Well, Mike, you know
• 25:27
  when they got a one up. My husband does this, Well, my
• 25:30
  husband does this. You know, my husband leaves his underwear on the floor.
• 25:33
  Well, my husband's underwear on the floor has uh skid marks, you
• 25:38
  know. Well, my husband's skid marks won't even come out with bleach,
• 25:44
  you know. And then it just gets worse and worse, like I don't
• 25:47
  think he even wipes his but you know, whatever, like it. It's
• 25:52
  it gets that bad. And I've sat and listen to this and and and
• 25:56
  gotten castigated for other women for not joining in. And I'm like, well,
• 26:00
  you know, I really like my husband. I don't know why you
• 26:04
  guys got married. If you don't like your husband, what's what's the matter
• 26:08
  with you? But you know that that does happen a lot. Women marry
• 26:14
  a man they don't like because money, or because they they didn't think they
• 26:19
  could find somebody more compatible with them, or because they don't like anybody.
• 26:26
  Well, women typically marry because they things that they think that things will get
• 26:33
  better, They hope, they think that the situation will improve. Men marry
• 26:37
  men marry women hoping things stay the same, right, they hope she never
• 26:42
  changes. Oh my god, this chick is great. Just just stay the
• 26:48
  same, you know. And both are unrealistic for many reasons, but that's
• 26:55
  typically how it goes, you know. And it's it's sad because you know,
• 27:00
  you partner up with somebody when you have you should be partnering up with
• 27:03
  somebody when you have compatible values and compatible interests and a lot of trust,
• 27:11
  you know, like you have to be able to trust each other to also
• 27:15
  have not overlapping interests and compromise where your values don't match and things like that.
• 27:26
  But I think a lot of abuse happens because women partner with men that
• 27:33
  they don't like, which like, I just don't. I don't know why
• 27:38
  you would do that to your partner or yourself. I think women that fall
• 27:44
  in love with men they don't like, I think it's time to introduce the
• 27:49
  term fix her up. Yeah, this is largely what a lot of women
• 27:55
  are attracted to. It's I can fix him, Yes, I can change
• 27:59
  him. They don't want a man, they want a project, yes,
• 28:03
  and they just hope for the best that the project works out for the best,
• 28:10
  and like maybe five percent of the time it does, but the other
• 28:14
  ninety five percent of like, well, shit, I couldn't fix this human
• 28:18
  being into being a good human being for me. Yeah, that's the thing.
• 28:23
  Women frequently try to fix men who are not broken. M right.
• 28:29
  It's it's not that he's immature, it's that his interests in entertainment differ from
• 28:36
  yours. You know, he likes, he likes to enjoy stories that he
• 28:41
  can participate in you like to enjoy stories that you read or that you sit
• 28:47
  and watch on television, but maybe you don't like stories that you can participate
• 28:51
  in, So maybe you shouldn't marry a gamer or you know, video gamer
• 28:56
  or tabletop gamer. And that was what I like. I one of the
• 29:00
  divorces that I've seen among friends growing up. And it was an abusive relationship,
• 29:06
  by the way, and she entrapped him with a fake pregnancy and then
• 29:11
  later you know, humiliated him by putting her disloyalty on public display and then
• 29:18
  abandoning him, and they had a contentious custody battle and everything. So that
• 29:26
  like we're talking, you know, incompatibility. Women married a man she didn't
• 29:30
  like. She was much taller than him, and she treated his height as
• 29:37
  a flaw, as though there's something wrong with guys just because they're not tall,
• 29:44
  you know, like you did, like you didn't know that about him
• 29:48
  from day one. Like, honestly, some of the most fun guys I've
• 29:52
  hung out with, you know, granted we did have different values, but
• 29:56
  very intelligent, a lot of fun to be with, good f ends,
• 30:00
  you know, back in the day when when we were in the same social
• 30:03
  circles and everything were shorter than me. And I think I've said this before.
• 30:08
  I've you know, I've dated guys that were enough smaller than me back
• 30:15
  when I was younger and stronger that I could pick them up. There were
• 30:19
  at least two guys that that I went out with that I could pick up
• 30:22
  and carry if I if I wanted to, wouldn't have done it, just
• 30:26
  because I think that would have embarrassed them. But I mean, when I
• 30:30
  worked as a nurse's aid, I could I could lift a person my size
• 30:36
  and uh, and you know, these guys were shorter and slimmer than me,
• 30:41
  and I was pretty slim. So there's there's absolutely nothing supporting women's treatment
• 30:51
  of shorter men like they're somehow lesser, but they still do it. They
• 30:59
  really. Yeah, by the way, so if you want to man,
• 31:02
  know what outlives you, then get yourself a short man. I know I'm
• 31:06
  saying that in vain. You're not going to well, you know, you'd
• 31:10
  rather you'd rather have a tall man than a short man with five years Yeah,
• 31:15
  you'd rather die alone after after your tall man dies. But you know
• 31:22
  it just there's a lot of things about this that women don't consider when they
• 31:29
  when they treat men the way they treat them, and when they discuss abuse
• 31:32
  as if it only happens to women, and you know, like that,
• 31:36
  that's one. You know, she would humiliate him because he was short.
• 31:40
  She would humiliate him because you know, he he he wasn't rich. She
• 31:45
  would get into arguments with him about money and throw heavy knick knacks and iron
• 31:51
  skillets and you know, lamp fixtures and it just like whatever was at hand,
• 31:59
  And the whole time she's yelling at him in this cartoonish, high pitched
• 32:05
  mini mouse voice, which just made it surreal when you saw them fight.
• 32:12
  You would expect a taller woman to have a deeper voice, but she didn't.
• 32:15
  But in any case, like you know that that type of thing,
• 32:20
  people ignore it when it happens, or people treated as comical or or like
• 32:25
  to me, if I'd have been in his position, that would have been
• 32:29
  terrifying, right, but he got ripped about it instead. And you know,
• 32:34
  so men experienced trauma twice, And I think that's that that should be
• 32:40
  a clue to the second thing that we're taught. We're gonna we're gonna note
• 32:44
  that men experience. But we'll go on here he experienced that emotional violence without
• 32:49
  knowing it until much later. Her friend described what he had gone through that
• 32:52
  that should tell you. Also, he says, I would strive to become
• 32:59
  what she wanted it, but when I did, she would again flip the
• 33:02
  script. My husband's ex wife used to do that to him, He says.
• 33:07
  I laughed now, but my esteem was so shattered that I would find
• 33:09
  myself on Google looking for answers, wondering why I was never good enough.
• 33:19
  The survey also indicated that eight percent of male participants disclosed experiencing physical violence,
• 33:25
  with six percent of the survivors experiencing it within twelve months before the survey was
• 33:30
  conducted. The report defines physical violence is slapping, beating, choking, or
• 33:37
  attacking with a knife or gun, among others. So I'm going to point
• 33:40
  out, and this is from the report by Jennifer Lang and Richton Rolling and
• 33:51
  her partners, about two thirds of domestic violence is two way, where one
• 34:01
  partner initiates and the other partner hits back the other one third, seventy percent
• 34:08
  of it is uh, it's female perpetrated, right, and that that means
• 34:15
  seventy percent of abused partners who don't retaliate with violence or men. And when
• 34:25
  you look at that study, you find that about sixteen percent of relationships that
• 34:32
  that responded to to that survey had domestic violence, right, so less than
• 34:44
  one in four had domestic violence. It was pretty on par with this.
• 34:51
  You know this, the the amount of physical violence and the amount of men
• 34:53
  experiencing violence in Kenya is not unusually it's not low, it's not unusually high.
• 35:00
  It's it's pretty on par with what we see in the West. And
• 35:06
  again, you know, about about two thirds of that is two way,
• 35:09
  and when it's one way, about seventy percent of it is just female perpetrated.
• 35:17
  I hope I'm going to pronounce this last name right for my correct I
• 35:22
  believe this is Ratamo or Radamo. Society had his trivial, trivialized violence against
• 35:29
  men at times, making a mockery of it up until my partner's brother was
• 35:34
  assaulted by his wife. She would laugh when she heard of men who were
• 35:37
  battered by their wives, and some instances saying they deserved it. But all
• 35:47
  that changed the day we were called and told that my in law, who
• 35:51
  was attacked by his wife, had been found in a pool of his blood,
• 35:55
  and there were chances that he would not make it Jesus Christ. Right.
• 36:01
  We hear all the time that female perpetrated violence is not as serious as
• 36:07
  of an issue as male perpetrated violence because men are bigger and stronger, which
• 36:14
  isn't necessarily true. Like I said before, there are at least two guys
• 36:16
  I dated in my history that I could pick up right, and and uh,
• 36:22
  we hear that, and we hear that that. You know, women
• 36:25
  are less capable of violence, but not in this instance. Well, see,
• 36:32
  he's a man, and so he can kill you. That's just natural,
• 36:36
  that's the natural order of things. It's a man, obviously, he
• 36:39
  can just kill you. This all changes the bigger the government cats, Yeah,
• 36:45
  because governments, particularly in the West, are entirely behind women and all
• 36:53
  their needs and desires and whatnot. So the any given woman has the power
• 37:01
  of the state behind her. And all a man has is himself yep,
• 37:07
  and maybe his closest friends and family. But a woman has the power of
• 37:12
  the state, and the state is more powerful than any man, thousands of
• 37:15
  times more powerful than than any man. And this is why it's interesting that
• 37:22
  it's Kenya we're talking about. For all the stuff we say about about the
• 37:28
  difference between the West and the rest of the world. Kenya is, as
• 37:35
  I understand it, Kenya's a pretty rich and prosperous country. Certain by by
• 37:40
  African standards, it's it's a pretty rich and affluent country. So it would
• 37:46
  make sense that that this phenomenon would appear at least in any given reports before
• 37:57
  it appears anywhere else. You're unlikely. Feminism is unlikely to take off in
• 38:06
  Eswatini, or Somalia or the Democratic Republic of the Congo because they can't afford
• 38:14
  it in in in countries where people are fighting for their lives every day,
• 38:19
  they can't They can't afford to to to let women just emotionally abuse men because
• 38:25
  they feel like it. It only happens in prosperous countries and in in and
• 38:32
  in direct contradiction to this idea that there was even espoused by Christopher Hitchens once
• 38:39
  that that when you when you give women all the possible powers of of I
• 38:52
  don't I don't know what the word is. But when when you let women
• 38:58
  do whatever they want, it doesn't lift a country out of poverty. It's
• 39:04
  when a country is lifted out of poverty they can afford to indulge in the
• 39:09
  human nature of gain of centrism. Yeah, and that and that's why,
• 39:15
  and that's why this sort of thing is obviously going to happen in Kenya before
• 39:20
  it happens in Lesotho. And honestly, yeah, you know, in countries
• 39:29
  like Congo, the Democratic Republic of the Congo, where you find feminism is
• 39:36
  not among the common women, right, It's not among the farmers, it's
• 39:38
  not among the women in cities. It's it's usually imported, and it's centered
• 39:46
  in areas where government or world organizations provide charitable assistance to the people of the
• 39:57
  nation, and then feminists will swoop in. Feminists from other countries will swoop
• 40:01
  in and create a feminist version or a feminist niche within that organization or that
• 40:13
  organized charitable giving, and they will exclude men from the benefits as quickly as
• 40:20
  they can, and then they will start trying to teach the women of the
• 40:25
  area that's being insisted to exclude men and to control whatever benefits are are available.
• 40:34
  They create like a female mafia in those areas. But the women themselves,
• 40:40
  if you gave them a description of feminist dogma, would say, well,
• 40:46
  that's that's a strange fantasy that doesn't describe reality. This is the way
• 40:52
  men behave. What are you talking about. They'll still take that control,
• 40:58
  they'll still view themselves as superior stewards of resources, and a lot of times
• 41:06
  it's because since their men take the risk of acquiring and protecting resources, it
• 41:15
  becomes the woman's responsibility to steward the resources in their home, in their communities
• 41:21
  and so on. So it's sort of an actual extension for them to accept,
• 41:27
  Yes, women should steward this resource as well, and then feminists really
• 41:31
  take advantage of that. But in a in a place like Kenya, then
• 41:37
  you start getting like there's a pretty thriving feminist subculture in Kenya, and like
• 41:45
  I've heard from more than a few men from Kenya about that and how it's
• 41:52
  impacted discussions on legislation and how it's impacted social standards and so on. So
• 42:00
  but yeah, this this level of violence. I've seen this level of violence
• 42:05
  from women, have been subjected to attempts at level that level of violence from
• 42:09
  women, and I've seen men. I've known men with scars, like physical
• 42:16
  scars from that level of violence by women. I have a friend who was
• 42:21
  convicted of assault for his for stopping a woman's second attempt at stabbing him in
• 42:29
  the throat with a sharp object because he was he was too rough, he
• 42:36
  was he was too vigorous in his effort to stop her. Basically, she
• 42:42
  came at him like a meniac, and he instinctively, like rabbit, punched
• 42:49
  her in the jaw. That was it, There wasn't He didn't beat her,
• 42:53
  He didn't uh you know, kicker, He didn't break any bones.
• 42:58
  He really didn't even leave a prous He just surprised the shit out of her,
• 43:04
  and then her friends restrained her. She was high and that was that
• 43:09
  was the end of that. Like she was. They don't even know what
• 43:13
  she had taken. She was fine, she was normal. She went in
• 43:15
  the bathroom, she came back out of the bathroom, and she appeared to
• 43:20
  have had some sort of psychotic break. So it had to have been some
• 43:23
  some weird, screwed up street drug that was either was badly made or was
• 43:29
  badly incompatible with her system. And she was violent toward everybody in the house.
• 43:34
  But she pressed charges against him, probably because she was embarrassed, and
• 43:40
  he he got convicted of assault for that. She didn't get convicted of anything,
• 43:46
  right, he didn't even he wasn't even allowed to press charges against her
• 43:50
  for trying to stab him. Wow. Yeah, it was quite a h
• 43:57
  and that's that's in the US, right, But this found in a pool
• 44:04
  of his own blood, and he might not have survived. She was worried
• 44:08
  that he might not have survived, and that that's what it took, right
• 44:12
  hit. Women won't even acknowledge this until it's one of their own, right,
• 44:16
  a guy that's close to them, some when they love and care about,
• 44:20
  and then suddenly, oh, gosh, this actually does happen mhm,
• 44:25
  which is you know, makes it really weird, especially like in a country
• 44:31
  like India, who we also know has very high rates of violence against men
• 44:38
  by the women that they're involved with the inublic. Yeah, yeah, and
• 44:49
  you know, there's so I don't know how many, what what the percentage
• 44:53
  of women is to men, but it seems like they really care all about
• 44:59
  what the women have to say. And you know, women have fathers and
• 45:02
  brothers and uncles that go through this. You would think that more women would
• 45:07
  be speaking up for the men in their lives who go through this and worse.
• 45:15
  But well, you know, when when I look at my history with
• 45:21
  this right, I like, I knew there were some women that were jerks,
• 45:23
  didn't realize the law supported them until I started seeing it's an effect on
• 45:29
  the guys around me. But if someone I had started talking to me about
• 45:34
  it when I was a teenager or something, before I knew about any of
• 45:37
  this stuff, I wouldn't have ignored it. I said, oh, can
• 45:42
  you show me, you know, some examples, some evidence, and what
• 45:45
  they would have been able to And when they did, I'd have been like,
• 45:47
  well, this is this is terrible. You know, we've got to
• 45:50
  start contacting our legislators. We can't have this. This is not this is
• 45:54
  a violation of civil rights. They you know, equal treatment under the law
• 45:59
  that's insure in her constitution. Being male is not excluded from that. Everybody
• 46:07
  deserves equal treatment. But it took You know, you don't see stuff like
• 46:13
  that. You don't know about stuff like that, about the the letter of
• 46:17
  the law and how it can be abused. If you don't exhibit that kind
• 46:22
  of behavior yourself, if you're not going to have those type of intentions,
• 46:25
  you don't expect something like that until you see it happening. So that would
• 46:30
  be one thing, But I don't understand women that act like abusement experience must
• 46:37
  have been deserved, well, he must, he must have done something to
• 46:40
  deserve it. Once you grow up and you're an adult, by the time
• 46:47
  you get to that point, you should have learned that peaceful negotiation with the
• 46:54
  people around you is a superior means of navigating controversy and disagreement and and so
• 47:04
  on, then trying to use violence and force and underhanded things like manipulation.
• 47:12
  But apparently a significant majority of women don't learn that lesson. Apparently they don't
• 47:21
  grow up in an environment where there are consequences for those behaviors that that are
• 47:28
  deterrent and rewards for at least sufficient rewards for learning to negotiate, learning to
• 47:37
  navigate social situations in a way that is fair to everybody. And and i'm
• 47:44
  you know, amicable or amicable treatment, amicable treatment of everybody where you're you
• 47:52
  know, you you come out of it and you're still friends. That doesn't
• 47:57
  apparently reward them, but I don't know, so they end up being violent.
• 48:04
  It goes on is say sexual violence, which the study refers to physically
• 48:07
  as being forced to have intercourse without consent is less frequently reported by men.
• 48:15
  It affects six percent of men, with four percent of victims having suffered in
• 48:19
  the year leading up to the survey. So they're defining sexual violence slightly differently
• 48:27
  than a lot of Western nations. A lot of Western nations got very ocd
• 48:32
  about how they're described, and the underlying reason for that is Mary pcosts trying
• 48:39
  to write a definition for rape that would exclude female perpetration against male victims.
• 48:45
  So her definition, instead of just describing sexual intercourse without consent or against the
• 48:53
  will of the victim, goes through and describes every form of sexual will intercourse
• 49:00
  accept being forcibly enveloped. So if men are subjected to forced coyas or forced
• 49:12
  filatio, it's not considered rape under her definition. Lastly, men reported economic
• 49:20
  violence, defined as the restriction, exploitation, or sabotage of one's ability to
• 49:23
  acquire, access, or maintain economic resources. Six percent of men said they
• 49:30
  have experienced economic violence, while two percent reported experiencing such violence in the twelve
• 49:35
  months before the survey. And this is something that I think a lot of
• 49:39
  people might be might think of as normal behavior. And you know you've heard
• 49:51
  of the couples where the husband comes home from work on payday and hands his
• 49:54
  paycheck over to his wife and she manages all the money and gives him an
• 49:58
  allowance. Hmm. Right. And when it's the other way around, when
• 50:02
  the husband manages all the money and tells the wife how much extra there is
• 50:07
  to spend, we are told that's abuse, right if she doesn't get to
• 50:13
  decide how much she's going to spend. And part of that is if the
• 50:17
  husband says, well you can't get a job, No, no, wife
• 50:20
  of mine is going to have to work, you know, things like that,
• 50:22
  and then limits her spending, then then it's it's legitimate in that he's
• 50:31
  he's preventing her from obtaining more money when she wants to spend more money,
• 50:37
  you know, unless he's required to pay her taxes and he's accountable for any
• 50:44
  economic failure of hers, and then it's not legitimate to call that abuse because
• 50:49
  he's responsible, so he should be able to make the decision. But when
• 50:53
  women do it, when women expect the husband to bring home his paycheck and
• 50:58
  hand it over and then to turn around and say, well, here's your
• 51:00
  allowance, well, they have full control over the money. People think well,
• 51:07
  that's the right way to handle it, or when they complain because you
• 51:12
  know, the husband's working too much, but she wants he wants to,
• 51:16
  you know, maybe advance his career, which means he might have to spend
• 51:21
  more time in the office or take trips away and things like that. Well,
• 51:25
  you need to spend more time at home, and then well then he
• 51:30
  can't take he can't take those moves to uh, you know, further his
• 51:35
  career. He's got to stay at the level that he's at because it's a
• 51:37
  regular nine to five that and that's the hours that she can deal with,
• 51:43
  because then they have me time or excuse me, we time us time.
• 51:47
  It's bullshit. Yeah, there's another form of economic abuse that the women engage
• 51:55
  in that men don't necessarily do as much, and people don't necessarily think of
• 52:02
  it as as a form of abuse. You're married, you've been married for
• 52:08
  five or six years, and one day your wife comes to you and says,
• 52:14
  well, we got a file bankruptcy and you don't understand why, because
• 52:19
  you bring in enough between the two of you, whether it's just you working
• 52:23
  or you enter working, that your income more than covers all of the bills.
• 52:30
  You know about. And that's when you find out that she has taken
• 52:37
  out credit cards in both of your names and maxed them out and can't pay
• 52:45
  the minimum payments anymore from the mad money that she has every month, and
• 52:52
  now she wants to declare bankruptcy to get rid of the credit card debt.
• 53:00
  And you know, that's another one that my husband's ex wife did. And
• 53:06
  when we got married, she had also overdrawn drawn their joint checking account so
• 53:12
  many times that we had to have a joint checking account. He couldn't have
• 53:16
  an account just in his name, so that, you know, like we
• 53:22
  were, we do our our finances where we were in the same bank,
• 53:28
  and we just move money back and forth to make sure like one of us
• 53:31
  can make a solid payment on any bill that comes up, and we just
• 53:37
  discuss it and we settle on what we're going to do and then we do
• 53:39
  it right. But she didn't talk to him about expenditures, and a lot
• 53:45
  of women don't. They They just go out and spend money like it's uh,
• 53:49
  you know, leaves from trees and then turn around and get upset when
• 53:54
  their income and their husband's income doesn't cover it. Right. And that's how
• 54:00
  a lot of fights about money that ultimately lead to divorce get started. And
• 54:06
  it is abuse to run up a shitload of debt in your partner's name without
• 54:12
  your partner's consent just because you can, or to destroy your partner's credit rating
• 54:19
  or to destroy your partner's rating. Is a good bank customer by engaging in
• 54:25
  abuse of your your partner's line of credit or access to an account. And
• 54:36
  a lot of women just do that, and men just tolerate it, and
• 54:38
  they don't think of themselves as victims of economic abuse. But if they did
• 54:45
  that to their partners, then they would get criticized for engaging in economic abuse.
• 54:52
  It's it's crazy. It's one of the main reasons why I think that
• 54:59
  people should just maintain their own bank accounts. You know, even if you're
• 55:02
  married, do not call mingle your funds. It's just not a good idea.
• 55:08
  It's best to just come up with a plan on how you're going to
• 55:12
  manage things and move forward like that. I don't know, well, I
• 55:17
  know why more people don't do it, because you know, they feel like
• 55:22
  the women will complain, oh you don't trust me, you know, or
• 55:27
  it's it's the romantic like you oh we're doing this together and it just never
• 55:35
  ends up that way, you know, well, and you know, and
• 55:38
  another one is her earnings are her money, but his earnings are their money,
• 55:45
  our money exactly. Yeah, don't you know. I when I got
• 55:50
  married to my husband, Yeah, that's one of the things I talked to
• 55:53
  him about because it's it's a lot of we're we came from both of us
• 56:00
  family wise, where we came from. There's a lot of tradition around both
• 56:07
  both partners working. Whether it's like I come from a community surrounded by farms.
• 56:13
  There, nobody lives on a farm and doesn't work. There's no such
• 56:17
  thing as as a non working farmer. They work hard and they work long
• 56:24
  hours. This is not a leisurely You don't undertake family farming if if you
• 56:31
  do not have a level of industry in you to do it. And when
• 56:37
  you get into more of the like town dwelling parts of the community, usually
• 56:43
  you would see women shaping their their work life balance around making sure that their
• 56:52
  kids are cared for. You know, it's my generation. We had latchkey
• 56:55
  kids. But there was always like my neighbor kid would come over to our
• 57:00
  house all the time, and his mom and my mom were friends, and
• 57:07
  the lady next door to them, she was friends with both of us,
• 57:12
  both my mom and our friend's mom, and all of the kids on the
• 57:16
  block were friends, and so there was a lot of communication. If the
• 57:22
  neighbor kid had an emergency, he knew, you know, three or four
• 57:25
  houses he could go to. If one of the neighbors saw a problem like
• 57:31
  you know, well he's peeing outside, you know, or somebody just went
• 57:36
  into that house that doesn't look like they belong there, then then the kid
• 57:40
  got help right an adult immediately was was right there on the situation. But
• 57:46
  you know, today, like when my kids were little, I had two
• 57:51
  friends that I traded childcare with, so that our our kids having their childcare
• 57:57
  time, we're basically just having what a lot of our generation calls play dates,
• 58:02
  right, and that that is how a lot of our generation it was
• 58:09
  used to. And so I had to explain in the start of our relationship,
• 58:15
  I'm I'm a little bit of a workaholic, you know, I'm right
• 58:17
  now, I have two jobs, you know, and that at that time,
• 58:22
  that was the truth. Right now, I have two jobs, and
• 58:25
  before we got married, I added a third job. At that time,
• 58:30
  and I had three jobs for a long time and I just do I work
• 58:36
  a lot. And I was like, if I'm going to do that,
• 58:37
  then I'm gonna be you know, we're not doing My money is my money
• 58:43
  and his money is our money. If his money is our money, my
• 58:47
  money is our money. So we'll talk about the bills and we'll figure out
• 58:52
  from the total how much is goes into the bills, and then we'll figure
• 58:58
  out from the total how much we have left that we can spend on things
• 59:01
  that are not bills. And you know, he was he was cool with
• 59:05
  that. Some guys are more traditional about it and would would be embarrassed and
• 59:12
  some guys would be ecstatic. And then he was like, whatever, whatever
• 59:15
  you want to do, I'm comfortable with it. And that was that was
• 59:19
  an important conversation to have, right But but yeah, we talked about all
• 59:27
  of the different aspects of it. Childcare, uh and you know, if
• 59:34
  one parent, you know, was going to be doing more of that than
• 59:37
  the other and so on, and like that was that was another one because
• 59:39
  he didn't want to be not as involved as me. He wanted to be
• 59:46
  equally involved, which I think most dads do. And I think a lot
• 59:52
  of moms cut them out of that by assuming that they can't do it.
• 1:00:00
  So that was something that again women engage in a sort of an abuse with
• 1:00:08
  they hogged the children. I don't have a better way to put that.
• 1:00:13
  You know, you love your kids, you want to be close to your
• 1:00:15
  kids, you want to be involved in everything about their development, right,
• 1:00:20
  but you also love your partner and it's very special to be involved together in
• 1:00:27
  every aspect of their their development, the kids development, and to get to
• 1:00:31
  talk about it and celebrate it and that kind of thing. But a lot
• 1:00:36
  of women exclude the father and they hurt him by doing that, and they
• 1:00:42
  miss out on the fun of watching him watch the kids develop and seeing his
• 1:00:49
  pride and and his joy in their growth, and you know, his influence
• 1:00:57
  on them and everything. It's really unfair. And I think a lot of
• 1:01:00
  those same women who her money is her money, but his money is their
• 1:01:05
  money. The kids are her kids, not their kids. Like those it's
• 1:01:12
  sort of a well rounded level of selfishness, I guess and solopsism. So
• 1:01:22
  Simon Maturie recalled how his uncle's life now are now a divorce spiraled out of
• 1:01:31
  control when he lost his job. He and the wife agreed to put her
• 1:01:36
  car into the taxi business. When the business had taken off and it was
• 1:01:39
  doing well, they had a disagreement and she sold the vehicle. He has
• 1:01:44
  never recovered these days. He drinks cheap liquor day and night. Wow,
• 1:01:50
  she got revenge on him by cutting her nose off to spite her face.
• 1:01:55
  It's like it's like how you know, women put the kid's father on child
• 1:02:05
  support and then you know, the second he fucks up, she calls the
• 1:02:08
  police, knowing that he's going to get in trouble, you know, or
• 1:02:13
  if he's late with the payment, that they can revoke his driving license and
• 1:02:16
  that will the houses. Yeah, I mean, it's so stupid, but
• 1:02:23
  they don't think. They just react and it's all like, well here,
• 1:02:30
  I'm gonna get you. You know this tit for. It's just it's so
• 1:02:36
  bullshit. Women are stupid. I'm sorry. It's like they didn't grow out
• 1:02:40
  of you know how some kids when they're a little and they get mad at
• 1:02:45
  something mom or dad you know, did like a rule set or being told
• 1:02:50
  no is another when they get mad being told no, and and they you
• 1:02:54
  know, in the midst of their temper tantrum, they threatened to harm them
• 1:03:00
  cells, they put their arm in their mouth, I'm gonna bite you know,
• 1:03:02
  yeah, hit their heads on the wall and stuff, And of course
• 1:03:07
  the response to that is to basically not not look at all upset about it.
• 1:03:15
  Well, that's gonna hurt you. It's not gonna hurt me. You
• 1:03:16
  know, you have at it. Chow down your arm might be delicious for
• 1:03:21
  all I know. Can I have a bite? And then they won't do
• 1:03:24
  it anymore because it doesn't have the effect they want. So I think a
• 1:03:29
  lot of women do shit like this where you know, they cut their nose
• 1:03:31
  off to spite their face, right, or in this case, they're there
• 1:03:35
  there their partner. I think they might have grown up in households where their
• 1:03:44
  parents freaked out if they threaten to harm themselves, right, you know.
• 1:03:49
  Or or they just don't learn they're not smart enough to learn from that,
• 1:03:52
  like, oh nobody, nobody is punished but you when you do that doesn't
• 1:03:58
  ever get communicated to them, one way or another. The findings of the
• 1:04:02
  report bring attention to the need for increased awareness and support for male victims of
• 1:04:09
  intimate partner violence. Now we're going to get more into the second thing,
• 1:04:14
  stigma, right, So probably everybody's figured this out by now. Men in
• 1:04:21
  Kenya who experience partner violence are stigmatized heavily. This is true in the United
• 1:04:29
  States, is true in the UK, it's true in Canada, it's true
• 1:04:32
  in India, It's true everywhere, and it's historically true. Historically there was
• 1:04:42
  a type of community response to partner abuse called a Skimmington ride. This was
• 1:04:48
  also a response to adultery, a response to conflict in the home if the
• 1:04:55
  couple was too noisy, things like that, but a Skimmington ride in particular
• 1:05:00
  when when it was in responsive abuse. If a man abused his partner,
• 1:05:03
  they would put him on a donkey backward and write him through town, and
• 1:05:10
  everybody would would hit him with things like you know, the the device you
• 1:05:14
  use, it's it's like a wire whisk, but a great big one,
• 1:05:19
  uh to to beat rugs, beat dust out of rugs, you know.
• 1:05:23
  Or they'd hit him with brooms and throw rotten vegetables, anem and shit.
• 1:05:27
  And of course if his wife was abusive, well, then they would put
• 1:05:30
  the husband writing backwards on the donkey and write him through town and ridicule him.
• 1:05:35
  And hit him with things and throw rotten fruit at him again. And
• 1:05:42
  that's stigma. That's that's basically, you know, a stigmatization of abuse victims
• 1:05:48
  who happened to be men. That's that's a universal kind of thing. They're
• 1:05:55
  supposed to be bigger and stronger. They're not allowed to be abusive themselves,
• 1:05:59
  but somehow, without being abusive, they're expected to control an abusive wife.
• 1:06:06
  Societal stigma around surrounding male victims of violence remains a barrier to open conversations and
• 1:06:12
  support systems for those facing trauma, and hinders the creation of a safer and
• 1:06:18
  more inclusive environment for all. According to the KDHS Report, men are least
• 1:06:28
  likely to seek help from their friends when they suffer physical violence. Some forty
• 1:06:32
  eight percent of men will turn to their families for help, twenty six percent
• 1:06:36
  to the police, but only sixteen percent will turn to their friends. In
• 1:06:42
  the country, there are also limited safe houses for men who experience sexual and
• 1:06:48
  or physical violence. According to the National Shelter Network, out of six government
• 1:06:54
  run safe houses and fifty six private ones, a total of sixty two shelters,
• 1:07:02
  only five cater to the needs of male survivors. That's more than we
• 1:07:11
  got the hell. So, even in a country that isn't totally run by
• 1:07:17
  feminists, there's obviously a very big organized feminist movement there, But one out
• 1:07:26
  of twelve shelters helps maile survivors there, and we don't know for sure.
• 1:07:34
  I know in the United States there are many people who will say, well,
• 1:07:38
  all the shelters cater to male, male victims. Well, no they
• 1:07:41
  don't. They say they help men, but when men call them for help,
• 1:07:47
  they are referred to perpetrator programs. M That's that's not how you help
• 1:07:54
  a victim. So John, I think this is probably easy to pronounce John
• 1:08:02
  mucabaine, or maybe it's Macabanni. I don't know. A social worker in
• 1:08:10
  a previous interview with Nation dot Africa, lamented the unequal effort put forth by
• 1:08:17
  government and non government agencies to combat violence. He asked that they consider and
• 1:08:23
  address the needs of mail survivors and their overall approach of prevention and support.
• 1:08:28
  Society has focused on raising awareness of violence against women at the expense of men,
• 1:08:34
  despite the fact that men undergo similar challenges. Balance efforts and supporting all
• 1:08:40
  survivors instead of focusing on women only. So that's the end of that article.
• 1:08:45
  Who is this guy? And can we look? Can you immigrate here?
• 1:08:50
  Look we need your efforts over here, man. I mean you know
• 1:08:55
  you need it there too, but can you can you probably has some men's
• 1:08:59
  rights movement. That's I'm really blown away. I mean, I'm waiting for
• 1:09:09
  the feminist twist in this entire article, but there there really is none.
• 1:09:13
  Well, I mean, the only thing that I would say is that that
• 1:09:16
  stood out to me is when they were talking about sexual violence was reverse to
• 1:09:21
  the study of physically to physically as being forced to have intercourse without consent.
• 1:09:28
  I mean, that's rape, right? Why why why not? Why make
• 1:09:31
  the distinction as to calling it sexual violence? It's rape, you know,
• 1:09:36
  call it what it is. A lot of countries have removed the label rape
• 1:09:42
  or just never used the label rape in their legislation for rape. I know,
• 1:09:48
  Canada, I think, doesn't use it at all. And there are
• 1:09:53
  a lot of states also in the United States that don't use it all.
• 1:09:57
  Right, brit brit bung here I also exist. Yeah, then there's Britain
• 1:10:01
  that differentiates by gender. Right, So if if a man is convicted of
• 1:10:12
  a crime after physically holding someone down, and forcibly engaging in coitus on them
• 1:10:19
  against their will. He's labeled a rapist as part of his punishment. He
• 1:10:25
  carries the stigma of being a rapist as part of his punishment. But if
• 1:10:29
  a woman does exactly the same thing to somebody that is smaller and weaker than
• 1:10:35
  her, or intoxicated, or anything else that makes it possible for her to
• 1:10:41
  hold that person down against his will and forcibly engage and performs on his body
• 1:10:49
  against his will, she doesn't have to carry the stigma of being labeled a
• 1:10:55
  rapist because when she's charged with that crime, they just refer to it as
• 1:11:00
  a sexual assault. And we are told by the UK government that this is
• 1:11:06
  equal punishment because both the woman and the man can be can be subject to
• 1:11:15
  the same length of prison sentences for committing that crime, and they can be
• 1:11:20
  put on perpetrator lists, and they can be put on probation after they get
• 1:11:28
  out of imprisonment. But the courts don't treat it the same because it doesn't
• 1:11:32
  have the same label, and so women will get lighter sentences when they get
• 1:11:38
  out. They may have shorter probation. The judge may decide that they don't
• 1:11:42
  need to go on a list and their neighbors don't get warned that they behave
• 1:11:46
  this way, and they don't carry the stigma they're not They don't have rapist
• 1:11:51
  attached to their name. So obviously, if that's not an important part of
• 1:11:59
  the punishment, the UK needs to eliminate the word rape in its law and
• 1:12:01
  just make both sexes subject to the same law that women are subject to.
• 1:12:06
  Right or the very least, you need to make sure you identify as a
• 1:12:11
  woman before you get raped by a woman. This involves some degree of clairvoyance,
• 1:12:17
  but have the clairvoyance to have that clairvoyance. Gentlemen, you'll actually that
• 1:12:25
  it's it's specific to the penis, isn't it. If you if you have
• 1:12:29
  a penis, then you can be called a rapist. But if you don't
• 1:12:31
  have a penis, you can't be called a rapist. Or or if you
• 1:12:36
  identify as having a vagina, yes, even if you have a penis,
• 1:12:41
  well that would surely complicate things enough. Well, there's at least one hospital,
• 1:12:45
  scratch the heads and go, I don't know what we do. At
• 1:12:49
  least one hospital in the UK that will tell the victim that it didn't happen
• 1:12:56
  it can't have happened because there are no men on that floor. And that's
• 1:13:00
  the there's a Telegram article about that. Actually Parliament had to sit and listen
• 1:13:06
  to to that disgust because of that incident. So I am gonna there's a
• 1:13:14
  link up here above the ads. You know, it's not above the adds.
• 1:13:19
  It's blow the ads. There we go, and it's why a gimbi
• 1:13:26
  men suffer in silence at the hands of wives. Now, this is an
• 1:13:28
  old article that I'm gonna open up here. Uh, this is from twenty
• 1:13:33
  twenty two. So this isn't and I'm not going to go through the whole
• 1:13:38
  article because it's it's already after eight o'clock. But I wanted to point out
• 1:13:44
  this isn't a new discussion necessarily, it's there. It's it's uh, it's
• 1:13:50
  something that at the very least, you know, they've there've been articles about
• 1:13:55
  it, uh for a year, and it it also speaks to this stigma.
• 1:14:01
  And so I'll start this out and I'll read the first paragraph. Jackson
• 1:14:09
  Mutuma suffered in silence as his wife hurled insults and at times resorted to physical
• 1:14:15
  assault, accusing him of not taking care of the family. This went on
• 1:14:17
  for several months. One day he returned home in the evening and found his
• 1:14:21
  house empty. His wife of eight years had taken all their belongings and gone
• 1:14:27
  to her parents. The couple lived at mum. I think this is Mutati,
• 1:14:35
  but it might be Mutuati again by North, whose main economic acteria activity
• 1:14:44
  is the mira trade. So I've read about mira. It is a it's
• 1:14:51
  a plant that like in South America, people do this with the plant that
• 1:14:57
  cocaine comes from. You chew on the leaves and it has a much lower
• 1:15:02
  effect on the body than when people extract cocaine from the plant and snort it.
• 1:15:09
  This isn't cocaine, but it does have effects where uh, you chew
• 1:15:14
  on the leaves and I think it's a stimulant. And there's actually some research
• 1:15:18
  that shows that it has some benefits when used that way, actual health benefits
• 1:15:24
  when you used that way. So it's not it's not like cocaine in that
• 1:15:29
  cocaine does the opposite, whereas this helps with like weight management and prevents heart
• 1:15:34
  conditions. So that's that's the main economic activity of this country. He says.
• 1:15:43
  His h Mutuma says his mirra business was hit hard by drought to a
• 1:15:49
  level he was not making any money, hence the abuse. Can you imagine
• 1:15:57
  like the only the if a guy started abusing his wife because she didn't have
• 1:16:04
  a job or wasn't bringing in enough money from her job. And one of
• 1:16:10
  the things that makes the use of the word pimp disparaging is that they abuse
• 1:16:18
  the women that they're supervising if they don't make enough money that their relationship,
• 1:16:26
  their business relationship with the women is forced. This sounds like a forced business
• 1:16:32
  relationship in the marriage. Make enough money to support me or all abuse you.
• 1:16:41
  So, out of concern for his two daughters, aged three and eight,
• 1:16:45
  he followed his wife to her parents home, a move he regrets as
• 1:16:48
  it marked the beginning of a life in hell. I don't know why I
• 1:16:54
  decided to live at her parents home, but I think I madly love my
• 1:16:58
  children and feared they would be mystery. Did now that that statement is something
• 1:17:03
  that Debra Poni pointed out in her research on coercive control. She found that
• 1:17:10
  a lot of men remain in abusive partnerships because they are afraid that if they
• 1:17:15
  leave, their children will be targeted next. This This is this is another
• 1:17:23
  point that Toe Rogan made once, Well, if you if you think your
• 1:17:28
  children are being mistreated by by by their mother, then why would you leave
• 1:17:32
  the relationship? Yeah, well, largely because you're fucking false too, Joe.
• 1:17:41
  Largely because you have no choice in the matter, that if you stayed,
• 1:17:47
  they would probably abuse them even more, and and and so you're very
• 1:17:54
  much between a rock and a hard place. So I guess, if all
• 1:18:01
  of the all else being equal, I guess you would leave so that at
• 1:18:08
  least you don't get mistreated, and maybe in your absence they would get mistreated
• 1:18:13
  less because because a woman who hates her husband will abuse her children more than
• 1:18:19
  a woman who has no husband to hate, possibly not because they'll have to
• 1:18:25
  take their hate out on someone, but possibly so because what they really hate
• 1:18:30
  is men, and you, being a man, you're you're the one stroking
• 1:18:33
  her hatred, which is obviously your fault, and so on and so forth.
• 1:18:39
  Well, and if she's abusive, and she's psychologically abusive, and she
• 1:18:43
  knows you love your kids, then she'll make sure you see them hurt.
• 1:18:48
  All of this would be solved in if there just wasn't a fucking government to
• 1:18:55
  stoke all of this fiery nonsense. Well, they're here to help. Yeah,
• 1:19:02
  that's the other thing. Government is part of the reason why men do
• 1:19:05
  end up leaving. Women can use government to kick a man out of his
• 1:19:12
  home. Right, they allege abuse, they allege sexual violence, they divorce
• 1:19:20
  him and get restraining orders. Men and men don't get a choice if if
• 1:19:26
  your wife says he abused me, and the government says, well, now
• 1:19:30
  you have to leave. If you don't leave, the police will remove you,
• 1:19:34
  and they will they will give you a new place to live, a
• 1:19:36
  very small one with bars. So you know, all a woman has to
• 1:19:43
  do is say you hit her to get you out of your house. It
• 1:19:45
  doesn't even have to be true. She doesn't have to prove it. In
• 1:19:49
  a lot of states in the United States, domestic violence law has a punitive
• 1:19:57
  response to men accused of domestic violence before any evidence at all is presented.
• 1:20:05
  And it's so telling that men don't understand this even when it's happening to their
• 1:20:10
  friends. They don't. They don't understand it until it happens to them,
• 1:20:15
  and then it's too late. Yeah, and and they're they're powerless in that
• 1:20:23
  situation. And so we snag this super chat before it disappears and there we
• 1:20:36
  go, so we have it goes on. I don't know why I decided
• 1:20:41
  to live her parents home, but I think I madly loved my children and
• 1:20:45
  feared they would be mistreated. But then she started coming home with different men,
• 1:20:50
  so again putting her disloyalty on display, right way to the Paris hall
• 1:20:57
  to the parents home. So in front of his law his wife put her
• 1:21:01
  disloyalty on display, and her mother encouraged her. He says, I could
• 1:21:12
  not stomach this. I've left and rented a house at a shopping center.
• 1:21:15
  But then they started torturing my children and chased them away in the middle of
• 1:21:19
  the night. I decided to live with them in my small room. So
• 1:21:25
  he and ended up having to take custody to children. And then and we
• 1:21:30
  have more. At one point, some neighbors called the police and falsely accused
• 1:21:34
  him of attempting to kill his child, but Miss Jennifer Cather, a child
• 1:21:41
  protection volunteer in the area, saved him moments before he was arrested. Mudama
• 1:21:48
  is one of the men who have suffered gender gender based violence. They call
• 1:21:55
  it gender based violence, which I think is a dumb way to describe it,
• 1:21:59
  because it's not gender that makes this happen. It happens and lesbian relationships,
• 1:22:04
  it happens in gay relationships, it happens in straight relationships. Obviously,
• 1:22:09
  there's not one sex that is just all perpetrators and the other all victims,
• 1:22:15
  all right, although women do get away with it more, and so women
• 1:22:18
  do perpetrate more, even though feminists say that they don't. So it's not
• 1:22:25
  it's not even misentry, given that lesbians can do it to other lesbians.
• 1:22:30
  It's whatever women can get away with because the government will let them get away
• 1:22:33
  with it. I don't even know where the word is. Well, I
• 1:22:35
  guess it's sky in decentrism. Yep. So here's the point I wanted to
• 1:22:43
  get to in this because remember we said about the percentages and everything. That's
• 1:22:47
  what we know about right from the research. That's what was disclosed. So
• 1:22:55
  that he's one of the men who have suffered domestic or intimate partner violence in
• 1:23:00
  a society where male victims are ridiculed for being weak. He opted to keep
• 1:23:04
  to himself. And there's an asterisk by these men's names because obviously they're using
• 1:23:13
  a different name in the article than the man's real name because it is John
• 1:23:17
  Murungi, the African equivalent of John Doe. As I was possibly possibly right,
• 1:23:25
  and you know, the next victim him his experience being more brutal.
• 1:23:30
  Besides his former wife assaulting him on several occasions, she filed trumped up charges
• 1:23:32
  against him at police station, where he was remanded and tortured. She left
• 1:23:39
  me with our six month old baby and went to fend for herself in towns
• 1:23:42
  where she engaged in sects work. After four years, she came back and
• 1:23:45
  took away the child, accusing me of planning to harm her and the child.
• 1:23:51
  Police did not want to hear my side of the story, so I
• 1:23:55
  was put in a cell and beaten up. And before we say, well,
• 1:24:00
  that's that's Africa. Police do that in Africa. Have you ever seen
• 1:24:03
  them arrest a guy accused of wife beating In the United States, they are
• 1:24:10
  deliberately rough in ways that they are not deliberately rough with guys who are accused
• 1:24:16
  of, say, robbing a convenient store at gunpoint, because they feel like
• 1:24:24
  they're getting revenge for the woman. And I've seen it directly. Don't even
• 1:24:29
  you don't even have the right to remain silent. You can remain silent as
• 1:24:33
  a fucking insect and they will still arrest you. In fact, if you
• 1:24:41
  can't give your testimony, then they will assume by default that everything that you
• 1:24:46
  did everything wrong, because because the woman's they're screaming that you did everything wrong,
• 1:24:53
  and you've got nothing to say in your defense, Miranda. Miranda rights
• 1:24:58
  are a fucking fun They never really applied, yep. And then on top
• 1:25:05
  of that, it doesn't matter whether you're silent or not. You could provide
• 1:25:12
  them with evidence that you didn't commit the crime, and in many jurisdictions they
• 1:25:18
  still have to arrest you. They can't take I couldn't have committed the crime
• 1:25:25
  for an answer, And so in that case, if you can prove your
• 1:25:30
  innocence to the police, they're not rough with you. And one of the
• 1:25:36
  experiences that seven Years in Hell guy had he was he lived in one jurisdiction,
• 1:25:44
  but she reported to another jurisdiction. So the way that they had to
• 1:25:48
  be handled was his home jurisdiction came and arrested him and then had to hand
• 1:25:54
  him over to City of Dayton. In the city of Dayton was prepared for
• 1:26:01
  a fight with him. They got out of their car with God, I
• 1:26:06
  can't think of what they're called. Well, it's not. I don't think
• 1:26:10
  it's called billy clubs. I think they're just called clubs because they're not the
• 1:26:14
  you know, one handle stick. It's it's actually got like two handles and
• 1:26:18
  you're supposed to be able to hold it like a brace and brace it with
• 1:26:23
  your arm. But they had those out like they were gonna have to to
• 1:26:28
  subdue him. And so before getting him out of the car, the police
• 1:26:32
  from his jurisdiction got out and conversed with Dayton baton that's thank you, and
• 1:26:42
  and and said, this guy is not gonna be a problem. He didn't
• 1:26:46
  commit the crime. We've seen evidence that he didn't commit the crime. We've
• 1:26:50
  seen evidence that she is a serial false accuser. He's just going to go
• 1:26:56
  with you and endure the process and then go home. And so the Dayton
• 1:27:01
  guys put their stuff away and then just you know, took him, took
• 1:27:05
  him to his night in hell. And and that was the end of the
• 1:27:13
  the animosity by the police. But if they had believed that he was actually
• 1:27:18
  a wife beater, then they would have been super rough with him, and
• 1:27:25
  they would have been super hostile toward him, and of course they sent two
• 1:27:30
  big men to get him because you know, they want to intimidate him.
• 1:27:35
  And that's that's probably a worldwide thing. Wherever there is legislation that determines that
• 1:27:42
  local police must deal with domestic violence situations, that phenomenon exists. Miss Catherine
• 1:27:50
  says the two men would have been punished for the wrongs they for the wrongs
• 1:27:55
  they did not commit if she did not intervene. She says many men suffer
• 1:27:59
  inside violence, especially in mera growing areas of Agimbi, when the business is
• 1:28:05
  affected by, for instance, drought and the recent ban on export to Somalia,
• 1:28:10
  their incomes significantly reduce. Miss Catherine says reduced incomes breed animosity, as
• 1:28:17
  some women feel that their husbands are not doing enough to provide for their families.
• 1:28:23
  She says most people believe that only women undergo GBB domestic violence, and
• 1:28:30
  society frowns on men who are beaten by their wives, So to avoid the
• 1:28:33
  ridicule, men bottle it up, with some resorting to suicide, much like
• 1:28:39
  they did, you know in the West, back in the day when it
• 1:28:42
  was even more patriarchal than it is now. On the last bit that I'm
• 1:28:47
  going to get into with this article is we've talked about police complicity in the
• 1:28:55
  US, in the UK and Canada, where they view violence as through the
• 1:29:01
  training, the Duluth model training that they get under their various versions of the
• 1:29:09
  Violence Against Women Act, and so if they go into a situation and there's
• 1:29:13
  conflict, they immediately assume the husband must be the perpetrator, the wife must
• 1:29:16
  be the victim. The wife can't be a perpetrator, or if she is
• 1:29:21
  a perpetrator, it can't be taken seriously, and they will not arrest often.
• 1:29:28
  They will not arrest the woman if she's a perpetrator. They will arrest
• 1:29:31
  the man if he's defended himself. They will tell the man to get out
• 1:29:35
  of the house. They will tell the man to get the woman some help,
• 1:29:41
  right, they'll make him responsible for her behavior, and they will not
• 1:29:45
  offer any kind of resources to domestic violence victims who are male. Murray UNGI
• 1:29:56
  really suffered because the woman said she was ready to spend money police officers to
• 1:30:00
  punish him. But I confronted her and asked why she was doing that yet
• 1:30:03
  he was the father of her child, and she got ashamed missus, Missus
• 1:30:09
  Cather said, and this is something that at least is superior there. Women
• 1:30:15
  around here do not get ashamed. If a woman can pay cops here,
• 1:30:18
  pay off cops to mistreat her husband in any way and someone says, how
• 1:30:26
  dare you this is the father of your children, she'll just turn around and
• 1:30:30
  call him a deadbeat. That's ingrained in our society now, so, at
• 1:30:34
  least in this culture, in Kenyan culture, some women are embarrassed when it's
• 1:30:42
  pointed out to them that they're they're attacking the father of their children. The
• 1:30:49
  officer termed it sad that police officers, who should protect victims of abuse,
• 1:30:56
  were used to intimidate Murray Ungi. She said, when she pointed out to
• 1:31:01
  the police that Mary YOUNGI was the one being beaten up by his wife,
• 1:31:04
  they laughed at him. Imagine that wow. As for Mutuma, I spoke
• 1:31:11
  to the assistant county commissioner who had been told of the incident and requested to
• 1:31:15
  a company police officers who are going to arrest him. But when he came
• 1:31:18
  with a pack of I don't know what unga is and the children were happy
• 1:31:23
  in his presence, I knew he was not the aggressor. She said,
• 1:31:26
  So this is another one, like here we have the same thing. And
• 1:31:32
  yeah, Derek Workman has pointed out, No, in the US they don't
• 1:31:35
  have to pay the cops, but sometimes they can, and corrupt cops are
• 1:31:40
  a thing in every country, right, but this particular type of corruption where
• 1:31:45
  they will they will be predisposed against an individual because of his gender and because
• 1:31:55
  of social norms in regard to gender violence. Like, I think that's pretty
• 1:32:01
  much. I think that's pretty universal, and I think it's fair to say
• 1:32:09
  most of the time they don't have to bribe a police officer, but there
• 1:32:13
  are instances where someone with political power and money gets a better result because of
• 1:32:17
  those things as well. And if that person happens to be a woman,
• 1:32:20
  being a woman just contributes to that even more. Is it, as they
• 1:32:27
  UNGA is United Nations Generally General Assembly? Probably I probably should have looked into
• 1:32:33
  that further than I did, But no, it's not. But Google's not
• 1:32:40
  helping me out telling me that it's United Nations General Assembly. Yeah, that's
• 1:32:47
  definitely not something he brought home, so obviously it's it's probably some sort of
• 1:32:53
  treat or a toy or something. But yeah, it's just just to the
• 1:33:00
  to to point it out. You know, what this what this shows is
• 1:33:03
  that even like a social worker is a government worker, right so, even
• 1:33:06
  when a government worker intervenes on behalf of men, you know, it takes
• 1:33:13
  it takes a significant amount of pressure to get other government workers to stop mistreating
• 1:33:20
  them, or to treat them equally to how they would treat or even remotely
• 1:33:27
  similar to the level of compassion they would offer to a woman alleging abuse.
• 1:33:33
  Right She she described the situation to the police, told them who the real
• 1:33:38
  abuser was, and they laughed at the victim. So so there we go.
• 1:33:48
  I just wanted to provide this example because again, like we discussed this
• 1:33:55
  in Western terms all the time. We discussed this in you know, white
• 1:33:59
  men or evil terms all the time based on feminist portraying white men as the
• 1:34:05
  worst people in the world. And yet here we have a country that is
• 1:34:12
  mostly black, where most of the men who are suffering this are black men
• 1:34:18
  married to black women, and it's their their native country, and uh,
• 1:34:25
  and they're still experiencing the same cultural problems and the same legal problems that we
• 1:34:31
  see here in the United States that we see in the UK. That we
• 1:34:34
  see in Canada, that we see in India, you know, and I
• 1:34:40
  will bet that if there is writing about men's experiences from any other country and
• 1:34:48
  that that there will be at some point be able to find articles with similar
• 1:34:56
  descriptions of similar issues, the same kind of tree. The Not only are
• 1:35:01
  are a third of men in Kenya and obviously men in you know, other
• 1:35:12
  areas as well, but not only are they subject to abuse, but they're
• 1:35:20
  also subject to secondary abuse through stigma, through state practice of lack of compassion,
• 1:35:32
  indifference or condemnation because they have been abused, right, and that that's
• 1:35:41
  that's the situation all over the world. Until we change that, until we
• 1:35:45
  change social and legal indifference and animosity toward abused men will continue to see women
• 1:35:53
  initiating violence. So I don't know if you guys have anything further to add.
• 1:36:02
  I think we're both quite tired. Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and
• 1:36:05
  get us into the super chats. Then I have two super chats. Albert
• 1:36:11
  Nader Retro gave us five dollars Canadian and said, best advice I heard a
• 1:36:14
  woman give wives. Men don't marry their wives, they marry their girlfriends.
• 1:36:17
  So if you stop being his girlfriend. He'll find a new one, you
• 1:36:23
  know, which they can be true, but you know where I come from.
• 1:36:28
  If you stop being in his being his girlfriend, he'll endure the rest
• 1:36:31
  of the marriage until you leave, and he'll be sad. Derek Workman gave
• 1:36:39
  us two dollars and said, more likely abusers of any gender hate themselves.
• 1:36:45
  You know, honestly, most violent people are just immature and selfish, like
• 1:36:49
  they do not consider other people. I don't think they love themselves necessarily.
• 1:36:56
  They're just immature and selfish, and the level of an immaturity determines how much
• 1:37:03
  violence they engage in. If they were raised in an environment that kept them
• 1:37:09
  from developing the ability to negotiate social conflict then or to navigate social conflict,
• 1:37:15
  then they're going to be violent. Let let it never be said that bullies
• 1:37:20
  are people who hate themselves. I'm sure it's sometimes the case, but it's
• 1:37:25
  just as often the case that bullies or abuses or evil people are people who
• 1:37:32
  love themselves. Are people who love themselves far more than they can love even
• 1:37:39
  anyone who reminds them of of their selves. That's the nature of micophobia.
• 1:37:48
  They can't love anyone who reminds them of who reminds them of their selves.
• 1:37:54
  They can only love theirselves, and so they hate anyone who reminds them of
• 1:37:57
  their selves, and so and so they take all of the neurosis out on
• 1:38:02
  those who remind them of their selves. I'm in virtue signaling faux favor of
• 1:38:10
  anyone who does not remind them of their selves. This sounds weird to anyone
• 1:38:15
  who doesn't know what ycophobia is, but to anyone who does, it makes
• 1:38:19
  perfect sense. Johnny, Okay, got one more super chat. Albert Nada
• 1:38:29
  Retro gave us five dollars and wants to know if Laura and forwarded his thor
• 1:38:33
  Love and thunder Piece to me. Did you send me something and I missed
• 1:38:41
  it? No, I don't know what he's talking about. Albert. I
• 1:38:47
  got his email address, but I didn't. I don't know if he emailed
• 1:38:51
  me again, that email was to ask me to forward something to you or
• 1:38:58
  I have not read that or done that. So okay, Well it's all
• 1:39:02
  right, because I suck at keeping up with my email anyway, so oh
• 1:39:05
  God to been better at it lately. But uh, but I'll go I'm
• 1:39:12
  gonna go back to sucking at it pretty soon because I don't have. One
• 1:39:17
  of the reasons that I was better at checking my email was that I've been
• 1:39:23
  communicating with my my estate attorney for my parents and solvent and state that I've
• 1:39:29
  been dealing with and that was auctioned off and the payments that go out to
• 1:39:36
  the creditors are being taken care of. So I only have a few things
• 1:39:40
  left to make appointments for and sign and then I'm done dealing with that completely.
• 1:39:46
  And so then I will then I will suck even more at checking my
• 1:39:50
  email because I won't be looking for emails from the lawyer. But but yeah,
• 1:39:59
  I'll I'll make sure you have my email address so you can forward it
• 1:40:03
  if you don't already have it. And let's see here. Oh, he
• 1:40:09
  says he sent it late this morning. Albert Nada Retro gave his two dollars.
• 1:40:12
  Canadian says, I sent it late this morning. Okay, yeah,
• 1:40:16
  I have not checked them today, so I will. Now where is my
• 1:40:24
  I have to say it. When Lauren doesn't get paid for any of this
• 1:40:28
  ship, she's under no obligation to do anything that any of you say.
• 1:40:33
  I mean, we love all of you, we do, but Lauren.
• 1:40:38
  Lauren has like five five hours of any given day to herself between doing her
• 1:40:43
  job and sleeping, So you know, please, don't you know, please
• 1:40:46
  don't rely on her to pass on any Sorry, I'm not simping. I
• 1:40:53
  just I'm I'm acutely aware of how difficult Lauren's general day is, so I
• 1:40:59
  don't please, don't you know? Yeah, yeah, I will. I
• 1:41:02
  will point out that as well. And then the other thing is I really
• 1:41:09
  am not I don't know if what I'm supposed to do with that. I
• 1:41:15
  will tell you. If it's for me to read and put it in the
• 1:41:21
  blog, that's one thing. But if it's for me to read and respond
• 1:41:26
  to the the superhero comics are not the comics to write to me about,
• 1:41:33
  if you want to write to me about comics. And I haven't had and
• 1:41:38
  I haven't had extra money to spend on comics in quite a while, but
• 1:41:44
  at least not for myself. But in any case, like I'm more into
• 1:41:50
  like the horror comics and the weirdness, you know, stuff that would have
• 1:41:57
  been in in in publications like Erie and Scream and and Spooky and Hammer's House
• 1:42:09
  of Horror Comics, you know, back in the day when those I don't
• 1:42:13
  I don't think those have been published for decades, but not necessarily, you
• 1:42:18
  know, like I watched superhero cartoons when I was growing up, but didn't
• 1:42:24
  get into the comic books as much. Maybe a little X Men because my
• 1:42:28
  cousin had those comics and I would read them when I was visiting him,
• 1:42:30
  but not really, you know, any of the the other Marvel superheroes or
• 1:42:40
  the DC superheroes and stuff. And yes, Tyler Preston, I've heard of
• 1:42:46
  the comic devil Man, but it wasn't something that I ever read. Yeah,
• 1:42:50
  So anyway, it just it's not there's not much for me to respond
• 1:42:58
  to in that I like. If it's not stories about you know that are
• 1:43:03
  like kim Fire ghost stories and stuff like that, I'm not really gonna be
• 1:43:09
  that great. Albert Nada Retro gave us ten dollars and said, it's okay,
• 1:43:15
  Doc, you husbanding. I just I just have no other real way
• 1:43:21
  to contact Hannah directly. It's about a particular scene from one of the movies
• 1:43:26
  worth discussing for MRA reasons. Oh you gotta just just you can contact me
• 1:43:36
  on Twitter. So but yeah, I'll I'll I'll give learn my email address.
• 1:43:45
  But like I said, contacting me personally by email is not a good
• 1:43:49
  way to get in touch with me. I see a lot more on Twitter.
• 1:43:54
  So or or you can join our discord discord and contact me that way.
• 1:43:59
  I'm in the discord and I'll see it. I may not see it
• 1:44:01
  the day that you contacted me, but I'll see it. So there's there's
• 1:44:05
  another one. I actually really suck it, replied in my discord messages too.
• 1:44:11
  So like I get a lot more contact now than I used to,
• 1:44:17
  and I don't I don't know if you guys understand, like I do this
• 1:44:25
  and everything I do, broadcasting, live streaming, a lot of interaction on
• 1:44:32
  on Twitter, but you'll notice, like I use one social media a lot
• 1:44:39
  at a time, and we'll abandon all others. You any of you that
• 1:44:43
  follow me on Facebook and will know that I maybe post once every couple of
• 1:44:46
  months, or you know, I might post a few things in my brother's
• 1:44:51
  meme group and nowhere else. Right, and social engagement is not my strong
• 1:45:00
  point. It's it's really not. Before I got involved in the men's rights
• 1:45:06
  movement online, I've really kind of avoided social engagement quite a lot. You
• 1:45:14
  know, I'm really kind of a loner in a introvert, so this is
• 1:45:20
  all abnormal for me, and and it's just it's not that I'm ignoring people.
• 1:45:27
  It's that seeking out contact and making an effort to communicate regularly with people
• 1:45:35
  in order to as as part of my camaraderie and connection with them isn't natural
• 1:45:42
  for me. Yeah, yeah, so it's it's it's kind of people get
• 1:45:49
  mad when I'm not, you know, in contact with them all the time.
• 1:45:54
  But to have five people in the same day reaching out to me is
• 1:45:59
  a lot, and so I have a rough time dealing with the fact that
• 1:46:02
  now it's more like fifty. So at a time, it's just I can
• 1:46:10
  deal with it. And I like getting into slap fights on Twitter, but
• 1:46:15
  you notice that sometimes when it gets really fast and furious, sometimes I'll walk
• 1:46:19
  away from that for a couple of days at a time too, And it's
• 1:46:24
  not healthy for me to do that. So I don't hand out my email
• 1:46:28
  address a lot because it's asking for people to get mad at me, because
• 1:46:32
  I already know I'm going to fail to see your message or I'm going to
• 1:46:38
  fail to respond to it in a timely manner when it's that Albert Nada Retro
• 1:46:44
  gave us two dollars Canadian and said, Twitter banned me if it was old
• 1:46:48
  Twitter before it became Elon Musk's Twitter, you might not still be banned,
• 1:46:55
  and you should check. And if you create a new account, I don't
• 1:47:01
  think that they will still ban you for ban evasion even if they didn't unban
• 1:47:06
  your old account. So it's it's worth a try at the very least.
• 1:47:13
  So but anyway, with that, I think I've got all of the super
• 1:47:17
  chats. We have an old super chow from Tuesday that we missed that I'm
• 1:47:26
  gonna read and uh, it's it's got nothing to do with this conversation,
• 1:47:32
  but it came in like right after the bell on on Tuesday, so we
• 1:47:39
  were discussing shit. I can't remember what we were discussing, but the topic
• 1:47:45
  of women having like realistic sex toys and realistic sex toy use and like satisfying
• 1:47:56
  stimulation and all that versus men, and the idea that fleshlights just can't compete
• 1:48:03
  with the real deal and I, you know, have no way of measuring
• 1:48:08
  that. But in any case, we got a response from Zapier, who
• 1:48:14
  gave his five dollars and said, some Japanese flesh lights are extremely realistic,
• 1:48:17
  like like they feel like the real thing, but they can't replicate the romance
• 1:48:21
  and intimacy, not just about the feel. There's more to it than that.
• 1:48:29
  And the reason that I felt like it was important to highlight this is
• 1:48:33
  women think of romance as something that men do for women. They don't recognize
• 1:48:39
  the fact that it's important to men. Yeah. I know this is hard
• 1:48:44
  for feminists to understand, but what men want is women. They don't just
• 1:48:51
  want a disembodied whole, no matter how fleshy it feels. Men need a
• 1:48:59
  brain attached to that, to that particular organ Men. Men don't just love
• 1:49:05
  objects. They love women. It needs to be everything that a woman entails.
• 1:49:12
  It needs to be someone capable of loving dare I say, someone capable
• 1:49:17
  of loving him? And this is why a fleshlight will never do for a
• 1:49:21
  man what a dildo does for a woman. And I know that's difficult for
• 1:49:26
  a lot of women to hear. Dildos don't do that either. It's still
• 1:49:32
  not for you, not for you, not for Hannah. They do it
• 1:49:35
  for a lot of feminists, for a lot of a lot of women who
• 1:49:39
  see men as nothing but a disposable cock slash wallet. But you know,
• 1:49:46
  men don't see women as a as a wallet. Men see women as women
• 1:49:51
  in a way that modern feminist women can never see men as men. They
• 1:49:58
  can only see men as a car kind of wallet. And this I don't
• 1:50:02
  know if this is a contemporary thing or a fundamentally biological thing, But for
• 1:50:09
  whatever reason, men want women women Men and women just want objects present company
• 1:50:18
  accepted obviously, But this is this is where we found ourselves socially. I
• 1:50:25
  actually got into a little bit of trouble with my husband over this because he
• 1:50:29
  heard me say I wasn't a romantic person one night, and he was like,
• 1:50:32
  why do you tell people you're not romantic when you do things for me
• 1:50:35
  all the time to make me happy. I was like, will you do
• 1:50:40
  things for me all the time to make me happy too? And he was
• 1:50:42
  like, that's romance, okay, you know, well, you know I
• 1:50:48
  was thinking about it. I grew up hearing about romance from other women who
• 1:50:55
  view it as ways that men show women that women power over men. You
• 1:51:01
  can commend their resources, you can command their attention, you can command their
• 1:51:05
  interest, right and their ego, and therefore that's romantic. So so they
• 1:51:13
  look at how much will he sacrifice, how much will he work, how
• 1:51:16
  much will he spend on me? All right, how far will he go?
• 1:51:23
  Not how much joy does he take from my happiness? And my husband
• 1:51:30
  and I take a lot of joy in each other's happiness. It's a lot
• 1:51:32
  of fun to do things for your partner, to make your partner happy and
• 1:51:38
  then see them experience that happiness while you're there enjoying them their happiness. And
• 1:51:46
  it's it's not so much about service as it is about your investment and your
• 1:51:56
  mutual happiness in the relationship. So we ended up having a discussion about that
• 1:52:00
  that that it's very romantic when we show each other how much we want each
• 1:52:08
  other to be happy because we love each other. And you know, so
• 1:52:13
  I was thinking of you earlier today when I was in this other place and
• 1:52:18
  you weren't even around. Is romantic, you know, to a person who
• 1:52:21
  is genuinely romantic, not I spent this much money on you, or I
• 1:52:30
  sacrifice this or that for you, you know, as you were on my
• 1:52:34
  mind. And sometimes there's you know, some that that does involve, like
• 1:52:43
  months of planning or working over time to get the money to buy something that
• 1:52:48
  will make something that he does regularly. That's hard easier because you know,
• 1:52:56
  like you do that as a partner. You want your partner's life to be
• 1:53:00
  easy as opposed to hard. You want your partner's life to be happy as
• 1:53:03
  opposed to sad. Right. But because I always always talk about the way
• 1:53:11
  my grandparents met. It's a horrible story. My grandfather worked for Chicago Bridge
• 1:53:19
  and Steel. He was a welder, and I believe that's the company he
• 1:53:23
  was working for when it happened. They dropped a concrete drainage ditch liner on
• 1:53:30
  his leg, and I mean it landed on him from hip to toes and
• 1:53:36
  crushed his ankle, broke his leg in several places. Like he went was
• 1:53:43
  hospitalized, he was in traction and everything. And the romantic part of it
• 1:53:47
  is Grandma was the nurse that took care of him, and he fell in
• 1:53:49
  love, and the asked her out, and she agreed to go out with
• 1:53:54
  him, and over time she fell in love too. And but but obviously
• 1:54:00
  starting with a horrific accident. But and I it took me a long time
• 1:54:05
  to see the romance of the falling in love over her caregiving. And my
• 1:54:12
  grandma was a very beautiful lady too, so much that when they lived in
• 1:54:17
  New York, she modeled hats for sex Fifth Avenue. But in any case,
• 1:54:23
  she just had a really pretty face, and she was tall, and
• 1:54:27
  you know, very good shape and very good shape and everything. And you
• 1:54:30
  know, obviously Grandpa, doing the work he did, he was in pretty
• 1:54:33
  darn good shape too, So they were very handsome couple and everything. But
• 1:54:39
  it took me a long time to see the romance of it, because just
• 1:54:42
  the horror of that initial accident just broke my heart, knowing that happened in
• 1:54:45
  my grandpa. But so I always say, well, I didn't I didn't
• 1:54:51
  see it because I'm not romantic. No, I didn't see it because I
• 1:54:55
  don't get into what women usually describe as romance. Yeah, right, and
• 1:55:02
  what I do get into, like, I didn't understand it as romance until
• 1:55:06
  my husband explained it to me. That is romance being invested in your partner's
• 1:55:11
  happiness and joy, taking joy in your partner's happiness and joy, and putting
• 1:55:15
  effort into that and receiving that back from your partner, and as much as
• 1:55:21
  you contribute that like that's romance. So I'm romantic. I'm just not romantic
• 1:55:30
  like a girl. But I'm not trans either, Like I had a I
• 1:55:35
  had a guy on Twitter accused me of that, like it was a crime
• 1:55:42
  back when it was actually a violation of Twitter terms of service to miss gender
• 1:55:46
  somebody. So and yeah, that's that's what I'm menaka ninety two describing on
• 1:56:00
  Rumble what I've always understood romance is to be as you know, a lot
• 1:56:06
  of sacrifice, time, planning, creativity or circumstances like the way that Grandma
• 1:56:13
  and Grandpa met and you know today he would just get accused of sexual harassment.
• 1:56:21
  But yeah, I don't know. That's just that's just my outlook on
• 1:56:28
  it though. Getting into the super Child's Meredith g gave us five dollars and
• 1:56:32
  said, HBr talk to seventy seven honey for the Badgers and thanks for the
• 1:56:36
  conversation. Plaine Dane gave us five dollars and said. Telomeres are like those
• 1:56:42
  plastic pieces at the end of your shoelaces. I think they're called aglets.
• 1:56:45
  Yes, they are that keeps your shoelaces together. Telomeres are one of the
• 1:56:50
  things that keeps your DNA intact. There are drugs called, okay, called
• 1:56:56
  that can LinkedIn You left the word out there, so I don't know what
• 1:56:59
  the drugs are called that can LinkedIn telomeres. One of them is called danisol,
• 1:57:03
  a more natural alternative that that doesn't require prescriptions. Or omega three fatty
• 1:57:09
  assets, co enzyme Q ten pqq selenium, vitamin D three three or five
• 1:57:15
  dash MTHF, and methyl cobal methyl cobalamine, And I know about some of
• 1:57:26
  those, like I've known about the omega three fatty acid balance since before I
• 1:57:32
  had my son, because I remember reading about that when I was I panicked
• 1:57:38
  about not being able to keep prenatal vitamins down and bought a book on nutrition
• 1:57:42
  and started obsessively making sure I was getting the right things, the right building
• 1:57:46
  blocks. And despite not being able to swallow pills that women have had babies
• 1:57:51
  for centuries without swallowing. So but and Q ten coenzyme Q ten, Yeah,
• 1:58:01
  that one I know about as well, simply because there's a lot of
• 1:58:05
  people that buy that, and I worked in a pharmacy for a while.
• 1:58:10
  The D three thing, I think a lot of the health problems that we
• 1:58:14
  have today is our obsessive avoidance of the sun. Like obviously sunburn is bad,
• 1:58:18
  any kind of burn is bad, and obviously overdoing it is bad.
• 1:58:23
  But if you wear SPF one hundred all the time and you know, or
• 1:58:27
  never go outside, keep your skin covered all the time, you're not getting
• 1:58:30
  your vitamin D isn't getting processed into your system properly because you need the sun
• 1:58:35
  for that. You can take supplements, but it isn't the same. Get
• 1:58:42
  exercised, get exercise outside. It will kill it will kill two birds with
• 1:58:46
  one stone. You'll get vitamin D. Sorry, vitamin D plus exercise it.
• 1:58:54
  Do it, do it today. I say this as someone who doesn't
• 1:58:58
  do it anything like it as he should, but do as I say,
• 1:59:01
  not what I do it. Actually, it also provides vitamin K, which
• 1:59:05
  is you know, and you know, if you can't get a lot of
• 1:59:09
  exercise outdoors, eat broccoli with cheese on it, or drink vitamin D milk
• 1:59:15
  at least, and hemp seeds are a pretty good source of vitamin if I
• 1:59:20
  remember right, vitamin K if you're not getting sun and and they don't have
• 1:59:28
  THHC. So if you're like me and you would get drug tested at work
• 1:59:32
  and get get fired. If you had that in your system, you can
• 1:59:35
  still have hemp seeds. Zapier gave us ten dollars and said, oh wait,
• 1:59:45
  this is this is This is odd because it starts with a four,
• 1:59:49
  like a bullet point four. But there's no one, two, and three.
• 1:59:54
  So I don't know if our system at part of your comment or not,
• 2:00:00
  so I apologize if I'm starting at the end of a long comment.
• 2:00:04
  Biased judicial system. The fictional government's courts are depicted as biased as they benefit
• 2:00:12
  financially from the police's confiscation of assets and money during victimless crime cases. The
• 2:00:18
  judges, prosecutors, probation officers, and private prisons all profit from this corrupt
• 2:00:24
  system. This raises concerns about their motivation and genuine commitment to serving justice.
• 2:00:30
  Five Failure and crime prevention. Despite their claims of existing to stop crime,
• 2:00:35
  the Thin Blue Line's actions only occur after crimes have been committed. Their arrival
• 2:00:42
  is often ineffective in preventing crime in the conviction rates are alarmingly low. This
• 2:00:47
  suggests that their existence is more of a facade intended to create an illusion of
• 2:00:53
  security rather than actively safeguarding the public. Six lack of accountability for misconduct.
• 2:01:00
  Instances of the thin blue line. Committing crimes such as murder and theft are
• 2:01:05
  met with lenient punishments, if not outright dismissal of charges. This creates a
• 2:01:10
  culture of impunity where members of the gangs are not held to the same standards.
• 2:01:16
  Of the gang are not held at the same standards as ordinary citizens.
• 2:01:20
  The taxpayer's burden is unfairly increased when they have to pay for the consequences of
• 2:01:25
  the gang's unlawful actions. Overall, our government and its police represent a dystopian
• 2:01:30
  and corrupt justice system that fails to uphold the public's rights, prioritizes revenue over
• 2:01:38
  public safety, and perpetuates a culture of misconduct and lack of accountability. It
• 2:01:43
  serves as a cautionary tale, highlighting the dangers of unchecked power and a compromised
• 2:01:47
  justice system. And it's all very good points. I wish I had seen
• 2:01:54
  the first three points. I don't know why the system eate them, but
• 2:02:00
  but yeah, one thing that I pointed out in I put a video up
• 2:02:05
  a while back titled we have to talk about quote male end quote violence,
• 2:02:12
  and I think I've expressed this before. I don't. I don't believe in
• 2:02:14
  male violence. There is violence that is primarily female violence in that it's engaged
• 2:02:26
  in by women for based on motivations that you don't see men having for violence.
• 2:02:34
  But most of the motivations for violence that we see labeled as male violence
• 2:02:42
  trace back to male female relationships one way or another. A lot of it
• 2:02:49
  is amassing and protecting resources for the women in one's life or the women that
• 2:02:57
  one is consider oneself the protector and provider for, and a lot of it
• 2:03:03
  is protecting women, right. And the only thing that could be remotely considered
• 2:03:11
  violence that isn't motivated that by on women's behalf one way or another, is
• 2:03:19
  when a man is violent in an attempt to control a woman. And that's
• 2:03:24
  the rarest type of violence that men engage in. Out of all the different
• 2:03:29
  types of violence that are attributed to men, that's the smallest amount, right,
• 2:03:34
  Whereas with women, the largest amount of violence that is attributed to women
• 2:03:41
  is relational violence between the woman and her partner, or the woman against her
• 2:03:47
  children, the woman against her parents, like the woman against her loved ones.
• 2:03:54
  It's there are other types of violence that women engage in. Women engage
• 2:03:57
  in conflict violence, and so do men. But that's not gendered, right.
• 2:04:02
  And and women engage in in abusive violence to the people around them that
• 2:04:11
  aren't necessarily related to them, you know, that aren't necessarily part of their
• 2:04:15
  lives, and so do men. But again it's not gendered, right.
• 2:04:20
  It's it's mainly just women don't engage in violence to get things for men,
• 2:04:25
  But men do engage in violence to get things for women, right, And
• 2:04:30
  not that that's good violence. But my point is we hear a lot about
• 2:04:35
  male violence. Most of it's not it's just violence, and a lot of
• 2:04:41
  it is on women's behalf. But but yeah, when when we're talking about
• 2:04:49
  the police forces, one of the things I pointed out in that video is
• 2:04:55
  if you think of if you describe police just somebody that's never heard of government
• 2:05:01
  and never heard of government agencies and never heard of government services, and you
• 2:05:09
  have to explain first you know, this is what the government is. Right,
• 2:05:13
  then you're explaining what the police force is. You're going to be describing
• 2:05:16
  a set of mercenaries that are paid for by tax dollars confiscated from the public
• 2:05:24
  under threat of force from said mercenaries that are tasked with acting on behalf of
• 2:05:33
  government against the public, and with using detainment and prosecution as a means of
• 2:05:50
  not necessarily solving, but but intervening in conflict between citizens. Right. That's
• 2:05:58
  that's not That's probably the most accurate way you can describe. And they are
• 2:06:00
  mercenaries. They're official mercenaries. They're mercenaries with authority in your your society,
• 2:06:09
  and they're quote respectable mercenaries that are that are presumed to be providing a service.
• 2:06:16
  And so we're all shocked when they are corrupt. But if you recognize
• 2:06:20
  that they are hired mercenaries, then you understand how they can become corrupt.
• 2:06:28
  So there you go. I don't know if anybody else has anything to add
• 2:06:30
  and regard to the cops, No, let's go ahead and end it.
• 2:06:36
  Thanks to everybody for listening, Thanks to my co hosts for sticking out the
• 2:06:41
  long sausage, and thanks to everybody who works in the background to make HBr
• 2:06:45
  Talk happen. Good night, All right, y'all,