Latest / Topeka Bible Church Audio Archive / May 20, 2018 | This Is Us - Balanced Christian Parenting - Paul Pettit

Transcript

May 20, 2018 | This Is Us - Balanced Christian Parenting - Paul Pettit · Topeka Bible Church Audio Archive

0:00
SPEAKER_00: That was pretty cool, huh?
0:03
SPEAKER_00: That was awesome.
0:04
SPEAKER_00: Listen, when I knew that uh we were gonna do a marriage and parenting eight-week series, I called down to Dallas Seminary uh to Paul Pettett because I really wanted him up here.
0:17
SPEAKER_00: Because he's written a book on the subject, he teaches a Dallas Seminary.
0:21
SPEAKER_00: He uh we've got a Dallas Seminary sort of a link here at our church in our 80 years of existence next year.
0:27
SPEAKER_00: Uh it'll be 80.
0:29
SPEAKER_00: Uh well over half, close to three quarters of that time.
0:32
SPEAKER_00: We've been pastored by uh Dallas Seminary grad, three out of our five pastors.
0:38
SPEAKER_00: And Paul, like I went down there to school, and so that's pretty neat.
0:42
SPEAKER_00: But he grew up in this church.
0:44
SPEAKER_00: Shawnee Heights High School was his school, and uh so there's some of how many of you are here?
0:50
SPEAKER_00: Raise your hand if you're a Shawnee Heights.
0:52
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, yeah.
0:54
SPEAKER_00: That's I like that.
0:55
SPEAKER_00: That's there's that's good representation.
0:58
SPEAKER_00: That's pretty good.
1:00
SPEAKER_00: Um so he'll talk about that, and I want I want you to introduce, have your family got sort of a pew back there of pedits that I want I want you to introduce.
1:10
SPEAKER_00: So that's really uh really exciting because Paul speaks at conferences and at camps and at churches on parenting, and he's written books about this.
1:18
SPEAKER_00: Dynamic Dads is his organization.
1:20
SPEAKER_00: So, Paul, come on up.
1:22
SPEAKER_00: I'm really pumped.
1:23
SPEAKER_00: I got to join the Pettit Family Golf Championship yesterday.
1:28
SPEAKER_00: Got spanked like a red-headed stepchild.
1:32
SPEAKER_00: But um yeah, yeah, and you got a 76, and you still got beat by your strapping son back there, didn't you?
1:40
SPEAKER_00: You had to mention that.
1:41
SPEAKER_00: You had to mention that.
1:42
SPEAKER_01: Good morning.
1:44
SPEAKER_01: What an honor to get to speak with you just for a few minutes this morning on the topic of parenting.
1:50
SPEAKER_01: I want to say thank you for this church.
1:54
SPEAKER_01: Great church.
1:55
SPEAKER_01: Jim and Melody Congden have been so impactful in our life, and Hank and Nan Nelson, who uh Hank was my youth pastor, so he gets many rewards in heaven for serving me.
2:07
SPEAKER_01: And Nat and Patty Deloberto, who we go way back with, and Doug and Pat Pallet will.
2:13
SPEAKER_01: And I want to introduce some family out there.
2:17
SPEAKER_01: My mother, Rita Pettit, will you stand up?
2:20
SPEAKER_01: And Dalton and Rachel and Chris, will you stand up?
2:22
SPEAKER_01: And that whole row, please stand up, actually.
2:25
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
2:25
SPEAKER_01: There's Tyler, there's my sister Susan, there's my wonderful wife Pam, and there's my son Christian, who beat me in golf yesterday, but clap for him anyway, okay.
2:40
SPEAKER_01: Well, I would start mentioning other friends, but I'll overlook somebody.
2:45
SPEAKER_01: So, yes, I'm glad some T-birds are in the house, some Shawnee Heights people, and my father was uh principal at Shawnee Heights Elementary School for many, many years, 30 years.
2:55
SPEAKER_01: And he was a great dad, and my mother was a great mother, and my dad was such a good principal when he passed away and went to heaven.
3:02
SPEAKER_01: They renamed the building after him.
3:05
SPEAKER_01: So what an honor.
3:06
SPEAKER_01: Now, how many of you were up yesterday at 4 a.m.
3:09
SPEAKER_01: to watch the royal wedding?
3:10
SPEAKER_01: Now, let me see your hands.
3:11
SPEAKER_01: Yes, Dave?
3:12
SPEAKER_01: Come on, David Headstrom.
3:14
SPEAKER_01: I know you were up.
3:16
SPEAKER_01: And Nancy, you were up.
3:18
SPEAKER_01: Nancy was my very first Sunday school teacher ever.
3:21
SPEAKER_01: Yes, Nancy taught me, and here I am today.
3:24
SPEAKER_01: See, Nancy?
3:25
SPEAKER_01: And I remember uh Melody was one of my youth pastors.
3:29
SPEAKER_01: Uh this was Frank Foster who was a youth pastor, Melody was a youth pastor, but this was before Hank got here.
3:34
SPEAKER_01: And I remember Melody, you know, man, I gave her the business.
3:39
SPEAKER_01: And if you were to tell Melody at that moment, someday, this guy Paul, he's gonna speak here at Speak of Bible Church.
3:46
SPEAKER_01: She would have said, There is no way that Paul Pettit is ever.
3:51
SPEAKER_01: And I see Arnon Batista back there.
3:53
SPEAKER_01: Where's he at?
3:54
SPEAKER_01: Right there.
3:54
SPEAKER_01: And his wife, please stand up.
3:56
SPEAKER_01: These are, you want to see a real live seminary student right here.
3:59
SPEAKER_01: This is a Dallas seminary student from Brazil.
4:02
SPEAKER_01: Arnon Batista and his wife.
4:05
SPEAKER_01: Good to see them.
4:06
SPEAKER_01: They're on the Dallas Seminary campus, and he's gonna be a wonderful pastor.
4:11
SPEAKER_01: Glad to have you here.
4:12
SPEAKER_01: Thank you for coming.
4:13
SPEAKER_01: Now, the royal wedding.
4:15
SPEAKER_01: Many of you watched it.
4:17
SPEAKER_01: I think it was Prince Harry Potter and it was uh Meghan Sparkle, I believe.
4:24
SPEAKER_01: They got married, and some of you got up so early to watch that, and you just love use some royal weddings.
4:30
SPEAKER_01: Why is that?
4:32
SPEAKER_01: Why do we get so enamored with this idea of royalty or living our life like that where we have servants and we just say, let us go out into the back lawn and play some croquet and eat some cucumber sandwiches?
4:44
SPEAKER_01: No, we're working all day, right?
4:46
SPEAKER_01: We're not into the royal family.
4:48
SPEAKER_01: That happens by birth.
4:50
SPEAKER_01: Someone's born into the royal family.
4:53
SPEAKER_01: Or possibly by marriage.
4:54
SPEAKER_01: Someone is asked, like Megan.
4:56
SPEAKER_01: She's sort of plucked out of all of society, right, Chris?
5:00
SPEAKER_01: And she's just sort of invited to be a part of the royal family.
5:03
SPEAKER_01: How does that happen?
5:04
SPEAKER_01: Do the gods shine upon her?
5:06
SPEAKER_01: Is it fate?
5:07
SPEAKER_01: Is it just odds?
5:08
SPEAKER_01: How does that happen where we're a part of this incredible line?
5:14
SPEAKER_01: Well, you too can be a part of God's royal family, a more important royal family.
5:19
SPEAKER_01: The Bible says Jesus is the wonderful name that will never pass away.
5:25
SPEAKER_01: Kings and kingdoms shall all pass away.
5:28
SPEAKER_01: But there's something about that name.
5:31
SPEAKER_01: No matter what you've been through, no matter your past or your parents, you can be chosen to be a part of God's royal family.
5:39
SPEAKER_01: You can be a part of the royal priesthood, the holy nation.
5:43
SPEAKER_01: And you can pass on this blessing of parenting.
5:47
SPEAKER_01: Balanced, what I'm calling balanced Christian parenting.
5:51
SPEAKER_01: Now, how many of you are parents?
5:52
SPEAKER_01: Raise your hand up real high.
5:54
SPEAKER_01: Let me see you.
5:54
SPEAKER_01: Yes, I see that hand.
5:56
SPEAKER_01: And any uh ants in the room?
5:59
SPEAKER_01: Some ants?
6:00
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
6:02
SPEAKER_01: Uncles?
6:03
SPEAKER_01: Are there any uncles?
6:04
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
6:04
SPEAKER_01: I remember David's father, George Headstrom.
6:08
SPEAKER_01: What a great man of God.
6:09
SPEAKER_01: George Headstrom led me to the Lord, led me to Jesus Christ.
6:13
SPEAKER_01: I walked down an old aisle, and George took me off to the side and spent a lot of time explaining to me the gospel of Jesus Christ.
6:20
SPEAKER_01: And then he kept up with me.
6:22
SPEAKER_01: What a legacy.
6:24
SPEAKER_01: Grandparents in the house, great grandparents.
6:26
SPEAKER_01: Any great, oh, look at all the great grandparents, whether you're in the College Avenue building watching right now, whether you're watching online, whether you're watching this later on your app while you're driving, hopefully not.
6:39
SPEAKER_01: You too can be practicing this balanced Christian parenting.
6:44
SPEAKER_01: Now, whenever we talk about this, we always talk about the pain of infertility, the pain that can come for people that want to be parents and can't.
6:52
SPEAKER_01: So what an illustration this was.
6:56
SPEAKER_01: Speakers look for the perfect illustration.
6:58
SPEAKER_01: We say, if I could just find a great illustration that would summarize my message, and this was it.
7:04
SPEAKER_01: Foster parenting, adoption, coaching, teaching.
7:08
SPEAKER_01: These are all ways that God uses us to parent.
7:11
SPEAKER_01: The Bible says, I'll be a father to the fatherless.
7:14
SPEAKER_01: And he uses us.
7:16
SPEAKER_01: He uses us to pour into children's lives and young people's lives.
7:21
SPEAKER_01: What a beautiful picture here.
7:23
SPEAKER_01: That these people chose someone.
7:26
SPEAKER_01: And that's what God does to you.
7:29
SPEAKER_01: He chooses you to be a part of his royal family.
7:32
SPEAKER_01: And so I have PowerPoint, like all good speakers here.
7:35
SPEAKER_01: Here's our family.
7:36
SPEAKER_01: Look at that group.
7:36
SPEAKER_01: We've got five kids.
7:38
SPEAKER_01: And I love this picture because it was one of the last pictures.
7:41
SPEAKER_01: We were sort of all together before anyone got married, before anyone had gone off and sort of left the house.
7:47
SPEAKER_01: Every summer we go to family camp in Colorado.
7:50
SPEAKER_01: And I want to urge you to go to family camp as well.
7:53
SPEAKER_01: When Speaker Bible Church was thinking through what would be a good family camp, they went to my father, Ed Pettit, and they said, What would be a good family camp?
8:01
SPEAKER_01: And he recommended New Life Ranch down in Tallequa, Oklahoma, where he was from.
8:06
SPEAKER_01: And they have been going to New Life Ranch ever since.
8:10
SPEAKER_01: Pretty good decision, right?
8:13
SPEAKER_01: Go to family camp.
8:14
SPEAKER_01: You say, I'm a single mom.
8:15
SPEAKER_01: I'm just an uncle with a nephew.
8:17
SPEAKER_01: Go.
8:18
SPEAKER_01: Take your group to family camp.
8:19
SPEAKER_01: It's a great week.
8:21
SPEAKER_01: And we go to Horn Creek in Colorado.
8:23
SPEAKER_01: So this is sort of one of our last times we were all together.
8:26
SPEAKER_01: There's Evan right there.
8:27
SPEAKER_01: He just graduated this weekend from the University of Arkansas.
8:31
SPEAKER_01: And he is going to be working for JB Hunt Trucking.
8:35
SPEAKER_01: Now, Arkansas, a lot of you people think of Arkansas, you know, that's where they wear no shoes.
8:39
SPEAKER_01: Right?
8:40
SPEAKER_01: But Arkansas's coming up, okay?
8:42
SPEAKER_01: They've got the Walmart Corporation.
8:44
SPEAKER_01: How many of you have heard of Walmart?
8:46
SPEAKER_01: Okay?
8:47
SPEAKER_01: And uh Tyson chicken and hunt trucking and lots of things nowadays in Arkansas.
8:57
SPEAKER_01: So he's gonna be off the payroll.
9:00
SPEAKER_01: Amen.
9:01
SPEAKER_01: We're sending him out into the world.
9:03
SPEAKER_01: One more, we have three out of five that have now graduated from college.
9:09
SPEAKER_01: And this is Lauren.
9:10
SPEAKER_01: She went to the University of Oklahoma, and she's a neonatal nurse.
9:15
SPEAKER_01: And her and Sam have been married now for about three years.
9:18
SPEAKER_01: And in August, they're gonna have their first baby.
9:21
SPEAKER_01: So Pam and I are going to be grandparents.
9:26
SPEAKER_01: I thought I'd get a little love for that.
9:28
SPEAKER_01: Come on.
9:30
SPEAKER_01: All right, come on.
9:32
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna be a grandparent.
9:34
SPEAKER_01: I'm looking forward to it, but I'm also kind of scared.
9:37
SPEAKER_01: I teach on it, but you know, hey, what am I gonna do?
9:39
SPEAKER_01: I've never been a grandparent, but I know some of you say it's great.
9:42
SPEAKER_01: You know, you spend all day with the grandkids, give them candy, get them all sugared up, and then give them back to the parents and say, we'll see you later.
9:50
SPEAKER_01: That's what we're gonna do.
9:51
SPEAKER_01: And let's see who else is up here.
9:53
SPEAKER_01: That is Haley.
9:54
SPEAKER_01: She's into fashion and merchandising, and she goes to the University of North Texas, because that's the headquarters for all the fashion and downtown Dallas.
10:03
SPEAKER_01: She works at the fashion shows, and she knew that Meghan Markle, you know, wore Givenchais gown for her wedding and all that.
10:10
SPEAKER_01: And she's outgoing and creative.
10:13
SPEAKER_01: And then we've got Austin right here.
10:15
SPEAKER_01: He graduated from the University of Arkansas in turf management, agronomy.
10:19
SPEAKER_01: And he works at the best golf course in all of Dallas, Dallas Country Club.
10:24
SPEAKER_01: It's so nice.
10:24
SPEAKER_01: I mean, perfect grass and perfect greens, and I'm hoping he invites me to play there.
10:30
SPEAKER_01: It's really expensive.
10:32
SPEAKER_01: I can't afford to play there.
10:33
SPEAKER_01: And then there's Christian right there, the one that beat me in golf yesterday.
10:36
SPEAKER_01: He just barely beat me, okay?
10:39
SPEAKER_01: I wish we had time to go into it.
10:41
SPEAKER_01: But we were on number 16.
10:43
SPEAKER_01: Here's what happened.
10:43
SPEAKER_01: We were on the I'll tell you later how he accidentally barely beat me.
10:50
SPEAKER_01: And here's my wonderful wife, Pam.
10:52
SPEAKER_01: We've been married 28 years this fall.
10:58
SPEAKER_01: There you go.
11:00
SPEAKER_01: 28 years.
11:03
SPEAKER_01: We got married right here.
11:05
SPEAKER_01: Okay, Jim Congden and Hank Nelson.
11:07
SPEAKER_01: We got married right here 28 years ago.
11:09
SPEAKER_01: We rode out of here on a cool old car and went over to the Heritage Hall at the Expo Center.
11:14
SPEAKER_01: And so Pam is a neonatal nurse practitioner.
11:19
SPEAKER_01: She takes care of the little babies, the one-pound babies, the babies that you can hold in the palm of your hand.
11:25
SPEAKER_01: And she serves at the world-famous Parkland Hospital in downtown Dallas.
11:30
SPEAKER_01: And uh you remember that verse that says, Children are a gift from the Lord.
11:37
SPEAKER_01: So not everybody can have kids.
11:40
SPEAKER_01: It's everybody can hopefully adopt, everybody can foster, everybody can try to parent.
11:46
SPEAKER_01: But sometimes when those kids are teenagers or they're acting up or they're rebelling, we need to remember that children are a gift from the Lord.
11:55
SPEAKER_01: I'm thinking of Rachel and Dalton back there.
11:57
SPEAKER_01: They're getting ready to welcome their first child, a gift from God.
12:02
SPEAKER_01: And Pam and I are in a one-flesh relationship.
12:04
SPEAKER_01: That is, we're married.
12:05
SPEAKER_01: Pam's my wife.
12:06
SPEAKER_01: And we used to go to Lake Point Church in Rockwall, a big church, and we had all five kids on the front row because so I could keep my eye on them and try to keep them listening, you know.
12:15
SPEAKER_01: And we would always try to sit up front by the sign language lady because she was so fascinating, and the kids would all watch her, and we'd try to practice some of the words.
12:23
SPEAKER_01: And I remember one time there was a speaker on marriage, and the lady started going like this.
12:28
SPEAKER_01: Did you see that?
12:29
SPEAKER_01: It was kind of quick.
12:31
SPEAKER_01: Let me do it again.
12:33
SPEAKER_01: She was talking about marriage, and they would say, and the two became one.
12:40
SPEAKER_01: The two became one.
12:42
SPEAKER_01: You can try that on the way.
12:43
SPEAKER_01: You don't have to clap for everything I say, just the important things.
12:48
SPEAKER_01: And that was fascinating to me because someone pointed out we're not in a one-flesh relationship with our children.
12:57
SPEAKER_01: Think about that.
12:58
SPEAKER_01: I had been writing on this and teaching on this, and that impacted me.
13:01
SPEAKER_01: We're in a one-flesh relationship with our spouse.
13:05
SPEAKER_01: But we're not in a one-flesh relationship with our children.
13:08
SPEAKER_01: One day our children leave and they go off and they go into the world.
13:12
SPEAKER_01: We shoot them out like arrows into the world.
13:15
SPEAKER_01: And here's Pam and I in Israel at the Dead Sea, where you go out and you float in the Dead Sea.
13:20
SPEAKER_01: You just lean back and you read the newspaper in the Dead Sea.
13:23
SPEAKER_01: How many of you have been to Israel?
13:25
SPEAKER_01: Let me see your hands.
13:26
SPEAKER_01: Oh, good.
13:26
SPEAKER_01: Quite a few of you.
13:27
SPEAKER_01: It is God's will that you go to Israel.
13:30
SPEAKER_01: Okay?
13:30
SPEAKER_01: You need to go to Israel.
13:31
SPEAKER_01: Just put it on your calendar.
13:33
SPEAKER_01: Don't even pray about it.
13:35
SPEAKER_01: Just go, okay?
13:36
SPEAKER_01: That's right.
13:37
SPEAKER_01: Your speaker this morning told you, don't even pray.
13:39
SPEAKER_01: Just go with Jim Congdon, go with some speaker or teacher or writer, and you will love you some Israel.
13:45
SPEAKER_01: Here, Pam is lathering on my face this mud from the Dead Sea, which makes your skin really nice and soft.
13:54
SPEAKER_01: Like so, makes you look so young.
13:58
SPEAKER_01: And people bring this home.
13:59
SPEAKER_01: Here we are at the conclusion of our Dead Sea experience.
14:04
SPEAKER_01: But Pam and I are in a one-flesh relationship.
14:06
SPEAKER_01: I look at her sometimes and say, You are stuck with me.
14:10
SPEAKER_01: I'm not going anywhere.
14:12
SPEAKER_01: We will grow old together.
14:16
SPEAKER_01: But not so with our kids.
14:17
SPEAKER_01: Our kids, we send them out.
14:19
SPEAKER_01: The Bible says, a man shall leave his father and his mother and cleave to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.
14:27
SPEAKER_01: That process will start over again with our kids.
14:30
SPEAKER_01: So we really raise our kids to release them.
14:33
SPEAKER_01: Now, how many of you like fishing?
14:35
SPEAKER_01: I brought a fishing pole up here.
14:37
SPEAKER_01: I grew up at Lake Shawnee, didn't do a lot of fishing, but I did a lot of golfing out there.
14:41
SPEAKER_01: How many people in the house enjoy fishing?
14:44
SPEAKER_01: Okay, they're probably out right now fishing.
14:46
SPEAKER_01: But uh there's two ways to fish.
14:49
SPEAKER_01: This one, you catch that big catfish, you catch that big bass, you bring it in and you, you know, scrape off all the scales.
14:57
SPEAKER_01: What's that called?
14:58
SPEAKER_01: You clean it and you fry it up and you put it in your belly.
15:02
SPEAKER_01: Okay?
15:02
SPEAKER_01: Come on, fish, get in my belly.
15:04
SPEAKER_01: That's the kind of fishing I like.
15:06
SPEAKER_01: But there's another kind, the kind fishing that are for experts, for sportsmen, they fish all the time.
15:12
SPEAKER_01: And what do they do?
15:12
SPEAKER_01: They reel in that big catch and they hold it up for Facebook, and then what do they do with it?
15:20
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, something I would never do, okay?
15:21
SPEAKER_01: They just they let it go back into the water.
15:24
SPEAKER_01: Parenting is catch and release.
15:28
SPEAKER_01: Okay, you're gonna parent for 17, 18, 19 years, and then that's it.
15:34
SPEAKER_01: We just steward these kids.
15:36
SPEAKER_01: We help raise them, but we raise them to release them.
15:41
SPEAKER_01: It's not cool if your son is 38 years old and living in the basement and playing video games all day.
15:46
SPEAKER_01: Okay, that's not good.
15:48
SPEAKER_01: Now, if there are issues going on or something, that's different.
15:50
SPEAKER_01: I'm not talking about that.
15:51
SPEAKER_01: But they're talking today about a delayed assol, a delayed adolescence, a delayed launch of our kids.
15:58
SPEAKER_01: Some kids 30, 35, 40 years old, and they're like, time to go.
16:04
SPEAKER_01: My dad was good at that.
16:05
SPEAKER_01: You know, my dad would say, Hey, you know, you could bring home some groceries.
16:09
SPEAKER_01: You know, you could put some gas in the car from time to time.
16:13
SPEAKER_01: Here I was a college graduate, and I'm living at home, and you know, he said, Hey, you you know, you could probably you're gonna have to buy your own golf membership now.
16:22
SPEAKER_01: Like, what?
16:23
SPEAKER_01: You know, I just went to Lake Shawnee.
16:25
SPEAKER_01: Hey, I'm under Ed Pettit.
16:26
SPEAKER_01: You know, he was a charter member.
16:28
SPEAKER_01: And my dad would slowly sort of teach me about becoming an adult, but they grow up so fast, don't they?
16:35
SPEAKER_01: Look at that.
16:36
SPEAKER_01: They just grow up like so fast.
16:38
SPEAKER_01: That just seems like yesterday.
16:40
SPEAKER_01: That's the same group of kids.
16:43
SPEAKER_01: Just 16, 17 years goes like and they're gone.
16:48
SPEAKER_01: And so you raise them to release them.
16:50
SPEAKER_01: Here's another example of that.
16:52
SPEAKER_01: When we parent well, it's like throwing this frisbee, okay?
16:56
SPEAKER_01: You uh bring them close and hold them close, and then maybe they go off to summer camp.
17:00
SPEAKER_01: Remember that?
17:00
SPEAKER_01: The very first time your kids ever went to summer camp, or you send them to kindergarten.
17:05
SPEAKER_01: I see moms at kindergarten, and it's such a powerfully emotional day.
17:09
SPEAKER_01: They're like, I'm gonna be right out here in the parking lot.
17:12
SPEAKER_01: I'll be with you, I'll be for you, okay?
17:14
SPEAKER_01: I'll be praying for you.
17:15
SPEAKER_01: And the teachers come like, okay, we've had our moment, it's time to go.
17:18
SPEAKER_01: And you can just see those moms going, no.
17:23
SPEAKER_01: And then we send them out for high school or college, and sometimes they come back, but then ultimately, with oscillation like that, we we launch them into the world.
17:31
SPEAKER_01: And it's not right to hold them so close their whole life.
17:35
SPEAKER_01: But it's also not right to just kick them out when they're 16.
17:40
SPEAKER_01: You know, drop them, launch them.
17:43
SPEAKER_01: I work with a lot of men like that.
17:44
SPEAKER_01: A lot of men who tell me, I was told by my dad, hey, when you're 18, you're out of here.
17:49
SPEAKER_01: There's not room in this house for two men.
17:53
SPEAKER_01: That's tough.
17:56
SPEAKER_01: That's hard.
17:56
SPEAKER_01: But this is the way God wants to do it, like this smooth oscillation of sometimes holding them close and sometimes releasing them, figuring out how much love and how much limits, and then one day launching them out into the world like that.
18:10
SPEAKER_01: Now, I encourage dads to be great dads.
18:12
SPEAKER_01: I want you to be a dynamic dad, a dynamic uncle, a dynamic grandfather.
18:16
SPEAKER_01: I want you to be a servant leader in your family, honoring your wife, honoring your daughters, opening the car door for your wife, holding up your family.
18:25
SPEAKER_01: And I got some pictures of some bad dads, okay?
18:28
SPEAKER_01: These are not good dads, these are not dynamic dads.
18:30
SPEAKER_01: Look at this dude.
18:30
SPEAKER_01: Okay, what's his problem?
18:32
SPEAKER_01: Come on, help out a little bit.
18:34
SPEAKER_01: You know, come on, take a take an oar every once in a while.
18:37
SPEAKER_01: Look at this guy.
18:39
SPEAKER_01: Really?
18:40
SPEAKER_01: Like, you can't help?
18:41
SPEAKER_01: Come on.
18:42
SPEAKER_01: He's uh share the umbrella a little bit here, bro.
18:45
SPEAKER_01: And how about this one?
18:46
SPEAKER_01: They're camping, and I don't know what all is going on here.
18:48
SPEAKER_01: He's got his bike, but it's raining a little bit, so you know, far be it from him to let the bike get wet, but you know, his wife can stay out on the rocks, and he's just hugging his bike.
18:58
SPEAKER_01: So be a servant leader, be a dynamic dad, be the dad that prays for your family, that tells your kids I love you, I'm proud of you.
19:08
SPEAKER_01: Maybe you received that, maybe you didn't.
19:12
SPEAKER_01: I talked to a lot of people that have a lot of pain that would say, My dad never said I love you, or my dad never said I'm proud of you, or my dad never gave me that blessing that John Trent writes about.
19:24
SPEAKER_01: Hank Nelson's roommate was John Trent, and he wrote this book called The Blessing.
19:28
SPEAKER_01: And it was such a bestseller, and you might say, You know, I didn't receive that blessing from my father.
19:35
SPEAKER_01: But remember, someday your kids may choose where you live.
19:39
SPEAKER_01: Have you ever thought through that?
19:41
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
19:42
SPEAKER_01: A lot of people say, you know, you you get out of here.
19:44
SPEAKER_01: I'm done with you.
19:45
SPEAKER_01: I tried to raise you, but let's, you know, be careful.
19:48
SPEAKER_01: Because someday your kids may choose where you end up living.
19:53
SPEAKER_01: They may choose to come back and visit you or they may not.
19:55
SPEAKER_01: They may honor you or they may not.
19:57
SPEAKER_01: Now, what is the goal of your parenting?
19:59
SPEAKER_01: I had one family that told me the goal of our parenting is to go to Disney World.
20:04
SPEAKER_01: I said, you can do better than that.
20:06
SPEAKER_01: You know, come on, raise the bar here.
20:08
SPEAKER_01: I I love what you folks said here, you know, the answers you guys gave.
20:14
SPEAKER_01: Such a low goal.
20:15
SPEAKER_01: But we do that, you know.
20:16
SPEAKER_01: My goal is that my kid would go to the best university, the best college, we'd get the best grades.
20:21
SPEAKER_01: But think through what is the goal of your parenting.
20:24
SPEAKER_01: Now we're gonna talk about three things problem, solution, application.
20:28
SPEAKER_01: So let's say this out loud together.
20:29
SPEAKER_01: What are we gonna look at first?
20:31
unknown: Problem.
20:32
SPEAKER_01: Come on, this I thought this was Topeka Bible Church.
20:34
SPEAKER_01: Okay, let's say it together.
20:36
SPEAKER_01: What are we gonna look at first?
20:37
unknown: Problem.
20:38
SPEAKER_01: And then?
20:39
unknown: Solution.
20:39
SPEAKER_01: And finally, all right, problem, solution, application.
20:43
SPEAKER_01: Easy to follow.
20:45
SPEAKER_01: And the first problem is you're and my adopting the world's view of parenting.
20:50
SPEAKER_01: That's the problem.
20:51
SPEAKER_01: When you and I say, unless they go to Harvard, or unless, you know, if my son or daughter ever embarrasses me, or if my son or daughter doesn't make the A team or start, I look at my friend Gary Peel here.
21:05
SPEAKER_01: He was an awesome football player at Shawnee Heights, one of the best, you know, one of the best in the Centennial League.
21:11
SPEAKER_01: And then what am I supposed to do?
21:12
SPEAKER_01: I'm just, you know, look at me.
21:13
SPEAKER_01: I don't even know the plays, you know, I don't even know where I'm going.
21:16
SPEAKER_01: And what if my dad would have said, Why can't you be more like Gary Peel?
21:19
SPEAKER_01: You know, Doug Peel.
21:20
SPEAKER_01: Why can't you be more like these guys?
21:23
SPEAKER_01: Think about living with that.
21:25
SPEAKER_01: And some of you have lived with that, some of you grew up with that.
21:28
SPEAKER_01: Don't let the world squeeze you into its mold.
21:31
SPEAKER_01: Don't let the world's view of parenting become your view of parenting.
21:36
SPEAKER_01: That word world there means age or eon.
21:40
SPEAKER_01: It means lifetime.
21:41
SPEAKER_01: Don't let this lifetime become the most important part of your parenting.
21:46
SPEAKER_01: Think about the future age, that eternal age.
21:51
SPEAKER_01: What will be important in that age, Arnon?
21:54
SPEAKER_01: That age of eternity.
21:56
SPEAKER_01: What are you doing now with your kids that's gonna last then?
21:59
SPEAKER_01: Sure, it's important.
22:00
SPEAKER_01: To parent well now, but are you parenting in view of a future eternal age?
22:05
SPEAKER_01: Are you grandparenting that way?
22:06
SPEAKER_01: Are you aunting that way?
22:08
SPEAKER_01: Are you unclinging that way?
22:10
SPEAKER_01: Here's the family that said, you know, our whole goal in life is just to go to Disney World.
22:15
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I thought about it.
22:16
SPEAKER_01: What happens after you go there?
22:17
SPEAKER_01: Then, like, what's next?
22:18
SPEAKER_01: You know, what do you do after you've gone to Disney World?
22:21
SPEAKER_01: And sometimes one of the problems is our parenting starts to look more like being about us, what I wanted for my kid.
22:28
SPEAKER_01: You know, I went to the University of Kansas and I wanted some of my kids to go to KU.
22:33
SPEAKER_01: But they grew up in Texas.
22:35
SPEAKER_01: You know, football is big in Texas.
22:37
SPEAKER_01: And they would say, Dad, I'm not going to be a jayhawk.
22:40
SPEAKER_01: What is that anyway?
22:41
SPEAKER_01: A mythical bird?
22:42
SPEAKER_01: And your football team, Dad, is 3 and 31 in the last three years.
22:46
SPEAKER_01: Really?
22:47
SPEAKER_01: Now I turned some of my kids on to KU basketball.
22:49
SPEAKER_01: So they got into that and they watched that, but they weren't about Lawrence, Kansas.
22:53
SPEAKER_01: They didn't grow up in Topeka.
22:54
SPEAKER_01: So what am I supposed to do?
22:56
SPEAKER_01: They want to go to the University of Oklahoma, University of Arkansas, University of North Texas.
23:00
SPEAKER_01: I could come down on them and go, you will, let me tell you something, you will go to Kansas.
23:05
SPEAKER_01: Or I could try to partner with what God's doing in their life and help help discover the way God's molding them and shaping them.
23:11
SPEAKER_01: I wanted my sons to play golf.
23:13
SPEAKER_01: You know, I got my foursome.
23:14
SPEAKER_01: Pet it, pet it, pet it, and pet it.
23:18
SPEAKER_01: And some of them are really good.
23:20
SPEAKER_01: Some of them love golf.
23:21
SPEAKER_01: Maybe what if one of them wouldn't have loved golf?
23:22
SPEAKER_01: Or what if what if one of my daughters?
23:24
SPEAKER_01: You know, I look back and say, man, I should have brought my daughters, or I should spend more time with my daughters.
23:30
SPEAKER_01: We're not perfect dads.
23:32
SPEAKER_01: There's no such thing as a perfect dad.
23:34
SPEAKER_01: There's no such thing as a perfect parent.
23:37
SPEAKER_01: But we can parent effectively.
23:39
SPEAKER_01: We can parent with health.
23:42
SPEAKER_01: And I had a guy came up to me after one of these talks I gave and looked at this picture and said, he worked for uh, like this gentleman here works for Southwestern Bell.
23:51
SPEAKER_01: This guy worked for ATT.
23:52
SPEAKER_01: He said, Oh, I know what this is.
23:53
SPEAKER_01: This is more bars and more places.
23:57
SPEAKER_01: The four kids there.
23:58
SPEAKER_01: But what if one of them would have said, Dad, I'm sick of golf?
24:01
SPEAKER_01: You keep trying to make me into a golfer.
24:03
SPEAKER_01: I don't like golf.
24:05
SPEAKER_01: And we do that, don't we?
24:06
SPEAKER_01: Or what if I'd have said, You're not a good golfer.
24:08
SPEAKER_01: You can't even shoot good golf.
24:10
SPEAKER_01: So let us not implement the world's way of thinking on parenting.
24:14
SPEAKER_01: Solution?
24:15
SPEAKER_01: Let's try to parent the way God parents us.
24:17
SPEAKER_01: Aren't you glad God doesn't hold your sins over your head?
24:22
SPEAKER_01: Aren't you glad that God the Father shows you grace?
24:27
SPEAKER_01: Let's parent the way God parents.
24:30
SPEAKER_01: Now, this first passage is from Deuteronomy, and I'll have it here on the screen so you can see it.
24:34
SPEAKER_01: It says, Hear, O Israel, and that was the way God called the people together through the prophets.
24:39
SPEAKER_01: The Lord our God is one.
24:41
SPEAKER_01: And in this culture, there were many gods.
24:43
SPEAKER_01: It was a polytheistic culture.
24:45
SPEAKER_01: There were the Canaanites and there were the Jebusites and there was the God Termanex for the Termites, and there were all these gods and goddesses, and they would look at those other cultures and say, Look at that culture, it's flourishing.
25:00
SPEAKER_01: That's because they worship that God.
25:01
SPEAKER_01: And they would be tempted to want to go worship that God.
25:04
SPEAKER_01: But God says, Hear, O Israel, the Lord your God is one.
25:08
SPEAKER_01: The Lord your God is Yahweh, the creator of the whole universe.
25:13
SPEAKER_01: Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.
25:18
SPEAKER_01: See that four-part way of living socially, mentally, physically, spiritually, living a balanced life.
25:25
SPEAKER_01: These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts.
25:28
SPEAKER_01: Impress them on your children.
25:30
SPEAKER_01: Teach them to your kids.
25:31
SPEAKER_01: Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.
25:37
SPEAKER_01: Now look at those four parts there.
25:39
SPEAKER_01: You see it.
25:39
SPEAKER_01: When you talk about them when you sit at home, that presupposes you sit at home.
25:44
SPEAKER_01: Maybe you turn the TV off.
25:46
SPEAKER_01: Maybe you turn the internet off.
25:47
SPEAKER_01: Maybe you put the phones away and you talk about these things.
25:50
SPEAKER_01: I grew up with that.
25:52
SPEAKER_01: Devotions around the breakfast table.
25:54
SPEAKER_01: Little footsteps with Jesus.
25:57
SPEAKER_01: And admittedly, you know, sometimes my parents would sweeten the pot a little bit.
26:00
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, they maybe gave us a little money if we answered the right question.
26:04
SPEAKER_01: There's nothing wrong with that.
26:05
SPEAKER_01: They took us to, I was on drugs in high school.
26:09
SPEAKER_01: I was drugged to Iwana.
26:11
SPEAKER_01: I was drugged to Pioneer Boys.
26:14
SPEAKER_01: I was drugged to the youth group.
26:16
SPEAKER_01: I was drugged to the Sunday morning service.
26:18
SPEAKER_01: I was drugged to the Sunday night service.
26:21
SPEAKER_01: There's nothing wrong with that.
26:23
SPEAKER_01: Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road.
26:26
SPEAKER_01: That's out in the marketplace.
26:27
SPEAKER_01: That's out in the city.
26:28
SPEAKER_01: That's during the day.
26:30
SPEAKER_01: When you lie down at night, that's when you tuck them into bed at the end of the day.
26:33
SPEAKER_01: And when you get up in the morning, that's the first thing in the morning.
26:37
SPEAKER_01: You see, some of the problems with our view of Christianity is, oh, this is just a Sunday morning thing.
26:41
SPEAKER_01: This church thing that I do, that's my God thing, and I kind of tuck that away on Sunday morning, and then I'm done with it.
26:46
SPEAKER_01: I tick that box.
26:47
SPEAKER_01: But the way God teaches, the way God parents is, your Christianity is 24-7.
26:54
SPEAKER_01: Your Christianity is in the marketplace.
26:58
SPEAKER_01: It's in the city, it's at home.
27:00
SPEAKER_01: It's everything you do with your kids and your grandkids and your nieces and your nephews.
27:06
SPEAKER_01: You talk about God and you teach them when you're out at the park, when you're working with the trees and the flowers and the lakes and the grass, and you say, Look at God, the creator, did all this.
27:15
SPEAKER_01: And you look at the stars and the universe, and you say, What a God we serve that spoke all of this into existence.
27:23
SPEAKER_01: Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.
27:27
SPEAKER_01: Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates.
27:30
SPEAKER_01: And some people have said, I don't understand this.
27:33
SPEAKER_01: This is kind of complicated.
27:34
SPEAKER_01: What does this mean?
27:35
SPEAKER_01: Let me take a second just to walk you through it.
27:38
SPEAKER_01: Some of the Jews, if you go to Israel, you'll see have the phylacteries.
27:42
SPEAKER_01: And that is the leather straps with little boxes of scripture in them.
27:46
SPEAKER_01: They would literally take this word literally, even though it's a metaphor, and they would tie them and bind them on their hands and tie them on their foreheads with a piece of scripture right here, a little tiny rolled-up piece of parchment with scripture written on it.
28:00
SPEAKER_01: And all it means is your hands are everything you do.
28:04
SPEAKER_01: You write an email, you build something, you work on the computer, you create things.
28:11
SPEAKER_01: Everything you do with your hands, do it under the authority of God, thinking about God.
28:15
SPEAKER_01: Bind them on your foreheads.
28:16
SPEAKER_01: That's everything you think about, your mind, everything you contemplate.
28:22
SPEAKER_01: And write them on the door frames of your house.
28:25
SPEAKER_01: That's on the interior of your life.
28:27
SPEAKER_01: When you're at home and at the gates, and you marketplace people will appreciate this one.
28:32
SPEAKER_01: This is when you're doing business, when you're conducting medicine or law or truck driving.
28:37
SPEAKER_01: This is out in the world.
28:38
SPEAKER_01: And so God says there's not just this little isolated place where I practice Christianity in the church.
28:43
SPEAKER_01: This is 24-7.
28:45
SPEAKER_01: I parent in this balanced way: hands, heart, head, the frames of my house, the gates of the city.
28:54
SPEAKER_01: That's balanced parenting.
28:56
SPEAKER_01: And then look what happened to Jesus in the New Testament.
29:00
SPEAKER_01: That was the Old Testament, now the New Testament.
29:02
SPEAKER_01: And the child grew and became strong.
29:05
SPEAKER_01: He was filled with wisdom, and the grace of God was on him.
29:08
SPEAKER_01: Do you see that four-part balance there?
29:11
SPEAKER_01: He grew up, that's physical.
29:13
SPEAKER_01: He became strong.
29:14
SPEAKER_01: That's emotionally, mentally.
29:16
SPEAKER_01: He was filled with wisdom.
29:18
SPEAKER_01: That's thinking, that's the mind.
29:19
SPEAKER_01: And the grace of God was on him.
29:20
SPEAKER_01: That's spiritual.
29:22
SPEAKER_01: And we need to parent in that balanced way.
29:25
SPEAKER_01: You that are young parents, are you doing that?
29:28
SPEAKER_01: Are you taking your kids and exposing them to all sorts of things?
29:32
SPEAKER_01: Or have you so streamlined your parenting that you're just like, you will do this the rest of your life?
29:36
SPEAKER_01: Now I love travel sports.
29:37
SPEAKER_01: I know some of you are on sports teams, but wow, we can overdo it.
29:41
SPEAKER_01: You know, I saw the other day a little group of kids playing soccer, and you know what that's like.
29:46
SPEAKER_01: It's like blob soccer.
29:48
SPEAKER_01: It's just the whole little group comes down and then one kicks it in, then the whole blob comes down this way.
29:53
SPEAKER_01: And one of the dads was just screaming at the referee.
29:56
SPEAKER_01: Just screaming.
29:58
SPEAKER_01: And I thought, the kids are three, dude.
30:00
SPEAKER_01: Chill.
30:01
SPEAKER_01: You know, what are you, what is your problem?
30:04
SPEAKER_01: And we learn later that he was going to have them be in club soccer, you know, when they're at five years old.
30:09
SPEAKER_01: And they're going to travel to Oklahoma City and Denver to play club soccer when they're five years old.
30:16
SPEAKER_01: And we laugh, but it's a laughter of identification, right?
30:19
SPEAKER_01: Because we do that.
30:19
SPEAKER_01: We slip into that.
30:22
SPEAKER_01: And Jesus grew and became strong, and he they went to the temple because when you're 12 years old, you get bar mitzvah.
30:28
SPEAKER_01: A 12-year-old boy is considered a man in the Israeli society.
30:32
SPEAKER_01: And Jesus' parents went to Jerusalem for the festival of Passover.
30:36
SPEAKER_01: And when he was 12 years old, they went up to the festival.
30:38
SPEAKER_01: They were all in Nazareth.
30:40
SPEAKER_01: And they went up according to the custom.
30:42
SPEAKER_01: And after the festival was over, his parents were returning home, and the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but they were unaware of it.
30:49
SPEAKER_01: Not good parenting, right?
30:51
SPEAKER_01: How did this happen?
30:53
SPEAKER_01: Now, one time we did this, I'll admit it.
30:55
SPEAKER_01: I know this is being videotaped or whatever, but we left Evan at a Burger King.
30:59
SPEAKER_01: Okay?
31:00
SPEAKER_01: He was in the balls.
31:01
SPEAKER_01: You know the balls?
31:02
SPEAKER_01: The part where you play, the little jungle.
31:04
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we left him in the balls.
31:05
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
31:06
SPEAKER_01: And I we're driving away and we're like, hour later, do you have Evan?
31:10
SPEAKER_01: I thought you had Evan.
31:10
SPEAKER_01: I didn't have Evan.
31:11
SPEAKER_01: Where's Evan?
31:13
SPEAKER_01: And we pull up, and poor little Evan, he's just sitting out there with the manager sitting on the side.
31:22
SPEAKER_01: He wasn't very old.
31:23
SPEAKER_01: I remember he said, I knew you would come back.
31:29
SPEAKER_01: That might happen to you guys, okay?
31:31
SPEAKER_01: That might happen to you guys, some of these foster parents.
31:34
SPEAKER_01: They can look at their kids and they can say, I chose you.
31:39
SPEAKER_01: I chose you.
31:41
SPEAKER_01: That's what God does to you.
31:43
SPEAKER_01: God looks at you and he says, I chose you.
31:48
SPEAKER_01: And so these families, now, it wasn't just Jesus.
31:52
SPEAKER_01: There were brothers and half-brothers and half-sisters too.
31:54
SPEAKER_01: And it was the whole village of Jerusalem.
31:56
SPEAKER_01: They would go up as a tribe.
31:57
SPEAKER_01: They would go up as a whole group of 200.
32:00
SPEAKER_01: So it wasn't really bad that Joseph and Mary misplaced Jesus.
32:04
SPEAKER_01: They thought he was with some of the family and neighbors.
32:07
SPEAKER_01: But it must have been tough too growing up with Jesus, right?
32:11
SPEAKER_01: Anyone here, like an older brother?
32:14
SPEAKER_01: You're the oldest child?
32:15
SPEAKER_01: Let me see your hand.
32:15
SPEAKER_01: You're the older, okay?
32:17
SPEAKER_01: And any middle kids here?
32:18
SPEAKER_01: I was a middle, okay.
32:20
SPEAKER_01: Yep.
32:20
SPEAKER_01: I know there was Eric Headstrom also and some others.
32:23
SPEAKER_01: And any younger kids?
32:25
SPEAKER_01: Yes, okay, here's how it works.
32:27
SPEAKER_01: The oldest child gets the idea to do something bad.
32:31
SPEAKER_01: The middle kid does it, and then the youngest gets blamed for it.
32:34
SPEAKER_01: Okay, that's how that's how it happens.
32:36
SPEAKER_01: And think about growing up with Jesus as your brother.
32:39
SPEAKER_01: How many of you ever got compared to your brother or sister?
32:43
SPEAKER_01: Why can't you be more like you know what I'm talking about?
32:45
SPEAKER_01: You don't have to raise your hand on that, okay.
32:47
SPEAKER_01: Think about James growing up with Jesus.
32:49
SPEAKER_01: What do you think they said to James?
32:51
SPEAKER_01: James, why can't you be more like Jesus?
32:55
SPEAKER_01: That would have been tough.
32:57
SPEAKER_01: Why can't you be perfect like Jesus?
33:00
SPEAKER_01: Why can't you be more like Jesus?
33:04
SPEAKER_01: Even when Jesus came out and they started to realize he's God, he's the Messiah.
33:08
SPEAKER_01: His brothers and sisters, his family said, He's crazy.
33:12
SPEAKER_01: His own brothers and sisters said, He's crazy.
33:16
SPEAKER_01: Well, thinking he was in their company, they traveled on for a day, and then they began looking for him.
33:21
SPEAKER_01: They realized he's lost.
33:22
SPEAKER_01: And they did not find him.
33:23
SPEAKER_01: And they went back to Jerusalem to look for him, and after three days they found him in the temple courts, and he was sitting among all the learned scholars of the day, answering their questions.
33:32
SPEAKER_01: Can you believe that?
33:33
SPEAKER_01: And everyone who heard him was amazed.
33:36
SPEAKER_01: They were amazed at his teaching.
33:38
SPEAKER_01: He's 12 years old.
33:40
SPEAKER_01: And his parents saw him and they were astonished.
33:44
SPEAKER_01: And his mother said to him, Jesus, we're so proud of you.
33:49
SPEAKER_01: Is that what she said?
33:51
SPEAKER_01: Jesus, you you brought so much honor on our household today.
33:56
SPEAKER_01: She said, Why have you treated us this way?
34:00
SPEAKER_01: Jesus, how dare you dishonor us in front of our community?
34:04
SPEAKER_01: Don't you know?
34:05
SPEAKER_01: Your father and I, have you ever heard that?
34:08
SPEAKER_01: Your father and I.
34:10
SPEAKER_01: Mary says, Your father and I have been searching for you.
34:13
SPEAKER_01: And we were searching for you.
34:16
SPEAKER_01: Jesus said, Didn't you know I would be about my father's business?
34:21
SPEAKER_01: The first words ever recorded from Jesus.
34:26
SPEAKER_01: Didn't you know that I was to be about my father's business?
34:32
SPEAKER_01: Didn't you know that I was on a mission for the Father?
34:39
SPEAKER_01: And the last words of Jesus ever recorded from the cross.
34:44
SPEAKER_01: He also said, Father.
34:47
SPEAKER_01: Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.
34:50
SPEAKER_01: It is finished.
34:55
SPEAKER_01: But they did not understand what he was saying to them.
34:58
SPEAKER_01: And they went down to Nazareth with them, and they were.
35:00
SPEAKER_01: Jesus was obedient to them.
35:02
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
35:02
SPEAKER_01: He's the God man.
35:04
SPEAKER_01: He's fully divine.
35:06
SPEAKER_01: And yet he was obedient to his parents.
35:08
SPEAKER_01: Let that sink in.
35:12
SPEAKER_01: And there's that fourfold principle again.
35:14
SPEAKER_01: Jesus grew in wisdom and he grew in stature and he grew in favor with God and man.
35:20
SPEAKER_01: Well, let's look at these.
35:21
SPEAKER_01: Number one is glorify God by helping your children discover their divine design.
35:27
SPEAKER_01: How has your kid been wired?
35:28
SPEAKER_01: How has God created your kids?
35:31
SPEAKER_01: And are you helping them or hindering that?
35:33
SPEAKER_01: Number two, prepare to leave your child by making a life a little bit more uncomfortable for them.
35:41
SPEAKER_01: How does a mother bird get the child out of the nest?
35:46
SPEAKER_01: How does the mother bird get the child out of the nest?
35:50
SPEAKER_01: Makes it a little bit uncomfortable.
35:52
SPEAKER_01: Stops bringing the daily meals from the drive-thru.
35:56
SPEAKER_01: Starts saying, It's time for you to go out on your own.
35:59
SPEAKER_01: How many of you remember the playground equipment?
36:01
SPEAKER_01: The jungle gym, the monkey bars, the very go-round.
36:05
SPEAKER_01: You remember those days?
36:06
SPEAKER_01: One of my favorites was the teeter-totter.
36:08
SPEAKER_01: Now, what could this dad do if he wanted to?
36:10
SPEAKER_01: What if this was a bad dad?
36:11
SPEAKER_01: What could he do?
36:14
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
36:14
SPEAKER_01: That could be ugly, right?
36:16
SPEAKER_01: And some of us do that.
36:18
SPEAKER_01: We over control.
36:19
SPEAKER_01: Let me tell you something.
36:20
SPEAKER_01: You'll never.
36:21
SPEAKER_01: Now, if you want to live in this house, you're gonna.
36:24
SPEAKER_01: Or we're on the app and we're like, why did you go to the ATM and spend that extra money for the double cheeseburger?
36:28
SPEAKER_01: We follow them around almost like a dog with the electric shock collar.
36:32
SPEAKER_01: They're 19, 20, 21 years old, and we're like, let me tell you something.
36:35
SPEAKER_01: You will never.
36:37
SPEAKER_01: And then sometimes we fly to that opposite side and we say, Hey, you know, can you come in at 4 a.m.
36:44
SPEAKER_01: from now on?
36:44
SPEAKER_01: Come on.
36:45
SPEAKER_01: Or as you're on your way in, do you mind turning the lights off?
36:47
SPEAKER_01: Come on.
36:51
SPEAKER_01: We don't leave any love or any limits.
36:54
SPEAKER_01: And you remember this uh cartoon?
36:57
SPEAKER_01: How many of you remember Charlie Brown?
36:58
SPEAKER_01: I don't think it's still around anymore, but you remember Charlie Brown?
37:01
SPEAKER_01: What did the teacher sound like to the kids when the teacher was talking?
37:06
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
37:07
SPEAKER_01: That's what you sound like when you're yelling at your kids.
37:10
SPEAKER_01: Okay?
37:12
SPEAKER_01: Sometimes when I would talk to my kids like that, all they heard was wah wah, wah wah, wah, wah.
37:16
SPEAKER_01: I could, you know, first of all, you need to, and I could just see their eyes like rolling back in their head, like, whatever.
37:22
SPEAKER_01: Another would be to listen with the heart.
37:26
SPEAKER_01: I I was taught by some really good parenting experts, get down on their level.
37:30
SPEAKER_01: You know, just get down when they're little and just look them in the eyes and just, hey, you know, how was your day?
37:35
SPEAKER_01: One of the games we played at our kitchen table was high low.
37:39
SPEAKER_01: Let's go around the table.
37:40
SPEAKER_01: What was the high point of your day and what was the low point of your day?
37:43
SPEAKER_01: Let's just share for a few minutes.
37:44
SPEAKER_01: Oh, really?
37:45
SPEAKER_01: That was the high point of your day?
37:46
SPEAKER_01: I figured that would have been the low point of your day.
37:48
SPEAKER_01: And just communicating like that with the heart.
37:51
SPEAKER_01: I see so many teenagers today that just walk around like this, you know?
37:59
SPEAKER_01: And that leads us to practicing digital detox.
38:02
SPEAKER_01: Sometimes we just need to turn off the internet, turn off the TV, get away, go to Lake Shawnee, go to family camp, just spend a morning and say, we're not gonna do any technology today.
38:14
SPEAKER_01: And then look at what's this guy doing wrong?
38:16
SPEAKER_01: Someone has taken the time to clean this table.
38:18
SPEAKER_01: It's really nice, right?
38:21
SPEAKER_01: But what has this person found?
38:26
SPEAKER_01: You know, my wife, she got great grades.
38:29
SPEAKER_01: My wife, Pam, is neonatal nurse practitioner.
38:32
SPEAKER_01: She's 4.0.
38:34
SPEAKER_01: She's very gifted.
38:35
SPEAKER_01: But those report cards are boring.
38:38
SPEAKER_01: Okay, it's all the same.
38:39
SPEAKER_01: My report cards were very exciting.
38:41
SPEAKER_01: They were very lot more energy and a lot more like, wow, how's this ever gonna work out?
38:48
SPEAKER_01: But some of you grew up with that.
38:49
SPEAKER_01: You know, five A's and one B, and the parent says, What?
38:56
SPEAKER_01: What happened here?
38:57
SPEAKER_01: What what happened here?
38:58
SPEAKER_01: What went wrong?
38:59
SPEAKER_01: Why the B?
39:01
SPEAKER_01: And maybe some of you grew up with that.
39:04
SPEAKER_01: Never able to live up to the expectations.
39:08
SPEAKER_01: And aren't you glad that our Father God doesn't parent that way?
39:13
SPEAKER_01: Father God could look at us and say, What I demand from you is perfection.
39:17
SPEAKER_01: What I demand from you is no sin.
39:22
SPEAKER_01: But he put all of that on his son, Jesus.
39:25
SPEAKER_01: And we come in to a relationship to the Father through Jesus.
39:29
SPEAKER_01: And lastly, trusting God for the results.
39:33
SPEAKER_01: Parenting well in the power of the Holy Spirit and leaving the results up to God.
39:40
SPEAKER_01: That's the best way to parent.
39:42
SPEAKER_01: And I know some of you watched that royal wedding and you thought, man, how could I live like that?
39:49
SPEAKER_01: How could I luck out like that?
39:51
SPEAKER_01: How could I find fate like that?
39:52
SPEAKER_01: Why don't the gods bless me like that?
39:55
SPEAKER_01: How come I can't ride around all day in an old Rolls-Royce?
40:00
SPEAKER_01: And Father God says, I sent a prince also.
40:06
SPEAKER_01: The Prince Jesus, my son.
40:08
SPEAKER_01: And if you believe in Jesus Christ, you can receive forgiveness for all of your sin.
40:13
SPEAKER_01: You can be a part of the royal family.
40:17
SPEAKER_01: You can be a part of the chosen nation.
40:20
SPEAKER_01: And no matter what you went through, no matter what kind of parents you had.
40:24
SPEAKER_01: And there were, if I were to get honest with you, and you and I were just to go over to the corner of the room and it was just me and you, and you might say, You don't know what I went through, Pettit.
40:32
SPEAKER_01: This is easy for you.
40:33
SPEAKER_01: You had good parents.
40:34
SPEAKER_01: You don't know what I went through.
40:37
SPEAKER_01: But God knows.
40:39
unknown: God knows.
40:43
SPEAKER_01: And he offers you a place in the royal family.
40:48
SPEAKER_01: Let's stand for closing prayer.
41:01
SPEAKER_01: Father God, thank you that you father us so well.
41:05
SPEAKER_01: That even though you demanded of us a sinless life, you didn't hold that over our heads, but you sent your son, the prince, Jesus, so that we could have your life now.
41:18
SPEAKER_01: We could have the Jesus life now.
41:21
SPEAKER_01: We could live for you now and have the bonus of eternity thrown in.
41:28
SPEAKER_01: We could live in a castle forever.
41:30
SPEAKER_01: And I pray for the parents in this room, the grandparents, the aunts, the uncles.
41:34
SPEAKER_01: Lord, help us to parent well in the power of the Holy Spirit, leaving the results up to you.
41:40
SPEAKER_01: And we ask this prayer in the name of the Father and the Son and the Spirit, and everyone at Topeka Bible Church said, You're dismissed.
41:48
SPEAKER_01: Have a great week.