Latest / The Play Therapy Circle / Episode 42- You Are Not Doing It Wrong- The COVID Generation, the Exhaustion, and Permission to Be Good Enough

Transcript

Episode 42- You Are Not Doing It Wrong- The COVID Generation, the Exhaustion, and Permission to Be Good Enough · The Play Therapy Circle

0:00
Hi there and welcome to the Play Therapy Circle.
0:04
Before we begin, Please note this podcast is for
0:07
informational and educational purposes only.
0:10
It does not provide therapeutic advice and listening does not
0:14
create a client therapist relationship.
0:17
All views expressed are my own and any case example shared have
0:21
been de identified to protect privacy.
0:24
If you're seeking personal support, please reach out to a
0:27
qualified mental health professional in your area.
0:33
Hi, and welcome to an episode of the Play Therapy Circle.
0:38
I'm Kylie Ellison, a therapist, clinical supervisor and play
0:42
therapy trainer, and I'm so grateful you're here.
0:45
This podcast is a space for. Thoughtful.
0:48
Soulful conversations about child centred therapy, play
0:52
based work and what it means to show up with presence and
0:56
compassion, both for our clients and for ourselves.
1:00
Whether you're a seasoned play therapist, a student just
1:03
starting out, or someone deeply passionate about working with
1:07
children, you belong here. Hey everyone, and welcome back
1:14
to the Play Therapy Circle podcast.
1:16
I'm your host Kylie Ellison and I am so glad you are here.
1:22
Happy Wednesday You guys look at me go this is gross.
1:27
It's a Wednesday and I'm recording for a drop on Friday.
1:30
Yay, this is amazing. Happy Wednesday.
1:34
Happy middle of the week. I hope you are having a great
1:37
week so far. For anyone who followed me on
1:41
social media last week or even has continued to follow me on
1:45
social media because now I'm posting like multiple times a
1:48
day on a day in the life of me. Just every day.
1:51
In case you were interested or we're curious.
1:55
Watch the chaos that is my life. You would have seen that I was
2:01
in Victoria last week. I spent the week connecting with
2:04
a beautiful organisation who had four sites across regional
2:10
Victoria that I got to connect with.
2:11
So I got to share child centre play therapy with a lot of
2:15
people last week, which was really nice, which was really,
2:18
really cool. So I really, really enjoyed it
2:20
and had the best time. And then I came back to work and
2:24
I was here on Monday and Tuesday.
2:28
So I had supervisions on Monday, clinic yesterday, and then I had
2:32
a client this morning and then mostly parents today.
2:35
And then tomorrow I'm going to try and get my life together.
2:40
So again, feel free to follow on Instagram, that's off Facebook.
2:43
That's usually where my stories live about the chaos that is my
2:47
life. Because that will be me tomorrow
2:49
trying to get everything together.
2:51
Because then I fly Friday morning to Newcastle for my
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daughter's sports aerobic comp and then get back Monday night
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in time to be here in clinic on Tuesday for some clients and
3:00
then Wednesday head on up to Cairns in Far North Queensland
3:05
to present at the Early Years Conference in Cannes.
3:08
So I am one of the keynote speakers.
3:11
I'm going to be presenting to about 450 people, which is
3:14
probably the biggest group so far that I've presented to.
3:17
So I am beyond excited beyond Vivian and the team up there are
3:22
incredible. I love you guys.
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I can't wait to be there and share lots and lots of things.
3:29
But one of the big things that we talked about last week in a
3:32
lot of the trainings, and I have kind of a funny story as well,
3:35
you guys, I was trying to record the podcast last week in
3:38
Victoria to kind of take you guys on the road, and it went
3:40
absolutely haywire. So I had an episode planned, and
3:44
this will come as no surprise to anyone who's listened to me long
3:47
enough. I had a plan and then I changed
3:49
it about 10 minutes ago, Yay, Because I was going to talk
3:55
about understanding children's play, and I think that it's a
3:57
very important topic from a CCPT LAN, so I'm absolutely going to
4:01
do that. Probably next week I'm going to
4:03
be in Cairns though, so yeah, that'll be interesting.
4:06
I should be able to do it. But this week, what has really
4:09
struck me off, the conversations from last week and even today
4:13
has been really meaningful, important conversations with
4:16
parents about the good enough parent, right?
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So I'm actually going to do something totally different to
4:23
what I had planned and talk about the exhaustion of being a
4:27
parent and that you aren't doing it wrong.
4:30
And let's look at it from a COVID lens because I will shout
4:34
it from the rooftops for as long as I need to, to share the
4:38
empirical data and the research and the stats and what we know
4:42
neurobiologically about children who were born or grew up during
4:46
COVID. Because this is an epidemic.
4:49
And I will call it that because what the research is now
4:52
starting to talk to us about in this space is that we
4:55
experienced a mass traumatic event as a worldwide community.
5:00
So I think, you know, in conversations today, because,
5:05
and This is why it's so top of mind for me is because the
5:07
parents that I was connecting with mostly were children who
5:11
are four and five, which is the greater generation.
5:13
So I was sharing lots of stats and lots of info because that's
5:18
exactly what parents with children in that age group
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absolutely need to be equipped with to empower themselves
5:26
around how amazing they are as parents for just being good
5:31
enough and not necessarily needing to be the perfect
5:34
parent. So I feel like there was so many
5:37
messages around overwhelm, exhaustion.
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I mean, who else is exhausted right now?
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Like truly, aren't we all? Like literally aren't we all?
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Like, I can't believe it's me. Also like I just always agree to
5:52
things that you know, in principle sound amazing, but
5:55
then I actually have to do it and I'm exhausted thinking about
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it. But I want to do it because I
5:58
love everything that I do. So the exhaustion and overwhelm
6:02
for me as a therapist is pretty real as well, let alone people
6:06
working in the field or parents for that matter.
6:08
So I do think that this is a universal experience, which is
6:12
why I wanted to make it an episode today because I think it
6:15
deserves its own time very much looking from a CCPT lens.
6:19
Because I wouldn't be living my tenants of CCPT if I'm not
6:22
authentic and congruent and have a sense of empathy and
6:25
unconditional positive regard for parents alongside the work I
6:29
do with children in the playroom, right?
6:31
So I think I want to share, I guess some of that
6:34
contributions. I have like a few different
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topics that I want to kind of unpack and and offer and share.
6:41
So if you are listening right now and you are an overwhelmed
6:45
parent, you're an overwhelmed parent of a child that you
6:50
raised during COVID or who was born during COVID, which is
6:54
pretty much most of our parents right now, right?
6:56
You are not alone. I know I say that.
6:58
And again, probably need to put that on a T shirt and wear it
7:01
around or maybe on a sticker, put it on my car, wear it
7:04
around. Because I think that we live
7:07
probably now in terms of those community connections in a more
7:12
isolated community than ever before, where we there is
7:15
obviously more people statistically, but our ability
7:18
to connect with our neighbours and our local community,
7:20
especially in city centres, I'm talking to very much.
7:22
So here in the Redlands can be really challenging, can be
7:27
really hard. And there's so many contributing
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factors to why we feel that disconnect.
7:31
And so then we start to question ourselves.
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And then parents, parents who are listening often will lean
7:37
into social media and online technology and online
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information to gain as a resource instead of going next
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door and talking to your neighbour.
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And so we get into this kind of loop of messaging around the
7:52
perfect parent and the Instagram moms.
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I think I've mentioned that to you guys before.
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I often have people in training that will mention that to me and
8:00
remind me of that because that's real.
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That's a thing that lives in our communities as well.
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So I want to talk about that in due course.
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But I think this podcast is a message to any parent or any
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therapist working with parents where they are feeling
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exhausted, overwhelmed, don't know where to start, and just
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feeling at a loss, feeling like you're not doing enough, that
8:27
you're not good enough, that you need to learn more strategies
8:31
and more skills. As a parent, you're hungry for
8:34
that information. But in essence, if we break it
8:38
down, and I'm saying this both, I'm wearing 2 hats for this
8:40
podcast, right? I'm wearing it as a parent of
8:42
two teenagers. And I've know I've said this to
8:45
you guys in previous podcast, that I'm in the trenches of the
8:48
teenagers and I'm fairly confident that I may not make it
8:51
up the other side of the trenches, especially when my
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daughter gives me such real time feedback and honest feedback.
8:57
Chelsea, if you're listening, she doesn't listen to the
8:59
podcast. You're way too honest, but we
9:02
want them to be honest, so that's a good thing.
9:05
But I'm talking as a parent. And then I'm also going to talk
9:08
as a therapist and play therapist, working with parents
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who are completely overwhelmed as well.
9:12
So where do I start? There's just so much to talk
9:16
about. I want to talk about first the
9:18
COVID generation. This was something that really
9:21
struck me last week when I was in Victoria and I was giving
9:24
some of the nuts and bolts kind of data like not just like my
9:28
whimsical opinion, No, no. Like the actual science of what
9:33
we are facing in terms of the babies that were born between
9:36
2020 and 2022. But even more so we're starting
9:40
to see kind of that window of kind of that year or two before
9:45
as well. So even babies that were born in
9:47
2019 say, so they are roughly now between that age group of
9:52
kind of 456 kind of deal in terms of the age of kids.
9:56
I have been saying for a very long time now that I do not
9:59
believe that we can as a therapist cohort or as a school
10:04
community or as a parent cohort view this age group of children
10:09
the same way we would have viewed that same age group 10
10:12
years ago. We just can't because we have
10:15
never experienced in our lifetime something of that
10:18
magnitude in terms of the significance of the impact of
10:23
those COVID lockdowns on the social and emotional growth of
10:25
children. So we really can't put them in
10:29
the same brackets or expectations or child
10:32
development stages because developmentally what I'm seeing
10:37
more and more is they're actually functioning and
10:40
communicating through their play and through their behaviour as
10:43
being much younger, like maybe two and three year olds.
10:45
So we'll get to that as we as we kind of move through.
10:48
But what are we seeing here in terms of what that COVID
10:52
generation looks like and what that impact was?
10:56
So babies that were born during COVID were born to parents who
11:03
were absolutely stressed out, exhausted, overwhelmed, didn't
11:08
know what was going to happen next.
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And so we're fairly isolated and and quite anxious in their
11:15
presentation. What we know from the data.
11:17
I'm going to throw this in every now and again.
11:19
So what we know from the data is that maternal prenatal stress
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tripled during the pandemic. Maternal prenatal stress tripled
11:30
during the pandemic. So then we have MRI starting
11:34
from 2024 of the brains of babies born during COVID who
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have a smaller amygdala, smaller right hippocampus, and reduced
11:46
white matter in their brains when they were born.
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So I'm going to throw those bits and pieces in as we go along.
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I'll certainly put references at the end of this episode for
11:59
those of you who are interested in doing more reading, please,
12:01
this is public record. Please go out and read as many
12:04
articles as you can because this information needs to be shared.
12:08
It absolutely does. And it's why I'm doing the
12:09
conference in next week. It's why I went to Victoria last
12:12
week. It's why I'm going to the
12:15
Brisbane Convention Centre and presenting at a conference there
12:19
in June because this information needs to be shared in the sense
12:23
that we really need to start normalising for parents who are
12:26
exhausted and stressed out. You are not alone, you are
12:30
absolutely not alone and it's actually really important that
12:34
we look after you as much as we look after the kids.
12:37
So what are we seeing in terms of some of the data and some of
12:43
the indicators that are coming out of this generation of
12:46
children? Higher rates of anxiety and
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separation anxiety than ever before.
12:50
We are seeing speech and language delays.
12:52
If you have a child who is between the ages of four to
12:55
seven and they are delayed in their speech.
12:58
This is my shocked face. If you're looking on the video
13:01
and for those of you just listening on the podcast, there
13:03
is no expression on my face because that is absolutely what
13:07
we have known for the last few years in looking into this
13:11
research and also working in this space.
13:12
They are delayed because they have lacked that critical window
13:16
of that social emotional growth that is needed through
13:19
interactions with peers and play because that was restricted
13:23
social and emotional delays, not able to turn take, not able to
13:28
share, not able to resolve conflict.
13:30
We're seeing because there was mask wearing, a delay in being
13:33
able to read facial cues, to be able to read social cues, to be
13:37
able to develop their emotional literacy to the same
13:40
developmental stages that they should be for the chronological
13:42
age, sleep disturbances, sensory sensitivities, separation
13:47
anxiety, and the list goes on, right?
13:51
So why are we seeing this? And I feel like for those of you
13:55
who've been listening for a while, you probably already
13:57
know, there's probably a few of you that are like, let me say
14:00
it, but I will, I'll say it for all of you.
14:03
The first thousand days we know are critical for the nervous
14:07
system of the development of the child.
14:10
And if that window is impacted or disrupted, it is laying that
14:15
foundations for children's understanding of relationships
14:17
with others and the world around them.
14:19
So Co regulation for that first thousand days is absolutely
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critical with the adults in their lives.
14:26
And so when we look at just the environment that we were coping
14:30
and dealing with, where we had parents and caregivers just as
14:35
stressed and anxious as their children, that capacity to be
14:39
able to Co regulate when caregivers are feeling
14:42
dysregulated, anxious, grieving, lonely, all of those things
14:48
meant that that was harder. It was harder.
14:50
And I want to give grace and I want to give so much compassion
14:55
and empathy. As a parent myself who went
14:57
through the COVID era, we all had no idea what we were doing.
15:02
And anyone that says that they knew what they were doing during
15:04
COVID is lying. I'm just kidding.
15:05
That's my own, that's my own opinion.
15:07
Don't come for me. But what we understand from the
15:11
literature is that social learning requires social contact
15:17
and that's what kids need. So if we restrict their play, it
15:22
lends that they're going to be delayed in their social and
15:25
emotional skills. What we need to emphasise here
15:30
is if you have a child that is really struggling or was fine
15:35
during the pandemic but is really struggling now, right?
15:39
Even children who are OK, there's a cumulative effect here
15:42
where all of us are coming out of that period.
15:45
And I just feel like there's always kind of this.
15:49
I feel like in our Australian community, I can really only
15:51
talk to that. I can't even imagine what it's
15:53
like in other countries. But I feel like in Australia we
15:56
have a whole population of parents who are on tender hooks.
15:59
Like they are just like waiting for the next existential crisis
16:03
or huge world event to happen. That means that their life is
16:07
going to come crashing down again.
16:09
I think that that lends to a population of parents who are
16:12
highly anxious and stressed out and exhausted.
16:15
It doesn't mean that you're a bad parent.
16:17
It means you're human. You went through a human
16:19
experience. You went through something that
16:21
was deeply traumatic. And parents have had to.
16:25
And I remember this myself in my own experience of just running a
16:28
business and trying to be a mom and a wife and all of the things
16:34
during that time that we had to hold it together because it was
16:38
so important for the kids in our lives that we held hope that we
16:42
knew what was going to happen, even though we didn't know half
16:45
the time it was going to happen. And that we could be future
16:48
focused because we believed that things would get better.
16:52
And so we had to do extraordinary work in impossible
16:55
circumstances. So children aren't damaged.
17:00
They are not failing. They are not.
17:06
They're not. It's not impossible for there to
17:08
be a way forward. Children's brains are
17:11
extraordinarily resilient, hugely resilient, and so this
17:15
generation is going to need more support to integrate what's
17:19
happened. But they're not broken.
17:22
They're absolutely not broken. So this is not permanent either.
17:25
This is really, really important.
17:28
We believe as child centre play therapist because we live in
17:31
that space of that person centred approach of believing in
17:34
the capacity of the client. You've given the space, the
17:37
supportive space to do so. I genuinely at my core believe
17:41
that tenant to be true. So I believe in every child that
17:43
I connect with and I believe in every parent that I connect with
17:47
in their capacity for growth towards that positive growth.
17:50
So it's very much around, you know, if with the right supports
17:55
and the right relationships or just with supportive spaces,
17:58
this isn't permanent, what's happened to them, children can
18:01
absolutely thrive. That's what needs to to kind of
18:04
get out there in terms of the messaging is that this isn't the
18:06
end of their story. It's it's just the beginning and
18:09
it's normalising experiences for parents so that you feel
18:12
empowered too. And you as therapist working
18:15
with parents, that this is real, that it's not just, you know,
18:19
one, it's just not your just not just your family that's
18:22
struggling or not just that one client family.
18:25
This is everyone that was impacted in different ways.
18:28
So if your child seems to need more than other children than
18:32
you remember that's real. Yeah, that absolutely is the
18:36
case. If you're finding it harder than
18:38
you thought it would be to work with parents or to raise your
18:42
own kids in this space, that's real too.
18:45
Absolutely. If you're not coping with what's
18:48
being asked of you right now, that is not a personal failure.
18:52
You are doing harder work than work most parents or therapists
18:56
have ever done in a generation before.
18:59
So we have to be kind to each other.
19:00
We have to live by our tenants, right, of having that empathy
19:03
and unconditional positive regard to ourselves.
19:07
But let's talk about the universal reflection that I hear
19:13
so often. I supervise so many supervisors,
19:16
so I feel like this comes up all the time in their reflections of
19:19
working with parents too. But just for you as a parent
19:21
too, if you're listening, if at some point you've thought or
19:25
said out loud, I just need something that works.
19:28
I just need to get through this. Like I just need to find the
19:31
answer. That just needs to be something
19:33
that's going to work for my child.
19:35
Underneath that, what are we really talking about for that
19:38
parent? They're feeling exhaustion,
19:40
overwhelmed, fear, anxiety, and also that they care about their
19:44
child because they're looking for something that will help
19:47
their child to feel better. Parents are not failing because
19:51
they want a quick fix. They want their child to be OK
19:54
and they want them to stop hurting.
19:57
Isn't that like the key, right? At the end of the day, we love
20:01
our kids and we would do anything for our children and we
20:06
would also do anything to stop them from hurting.
20:08
So there's a a level of desperation for parents who are
20:12
parenting that 4 to 6 year old age group or four to seven year
20:15
old age group where the behaviours that they're seeing
20:19
developmentally for a child that age going to school isn't
20:24
normally seen to the extent that we're seeing now.
20:26
And I give you all of the neuroscience that I just spoke
20:29
about as to why we're seeing it right?
20:32
But I feel like there's so much about it where parents
20:36
internalise it and feel like they are failing themselves.
20:39
And so practitioners in this space, it's you're also not
20:43
failing in the work that you're doing.
20:47
It means that, you know, because parents are desperate for this
20:52
fix, it means they care. And it's really hard to watch
20:55
parents that are struggling. And I think if we reframe it
20:57
that way as practitioners to understand that it's not about
21:01
them just wanting a quick fix. Although, you know, I had
21:04
conversations last week where, you know, the level of diagnosis
21:09
in Australia of neuro divergent is something like, and I'm, I'm
21:12
going to absolutely butcher this.
21:13
So I'm absolutely sure that the stats may be slightly different,
21:17
but it's something like 3 times more than what would we would
21:21
expect in the community for the occurrence of, of neuro
21:24
divergent speed. So it's, it's there is an over
21:28
diagnosis of kids. Absolutely.
21:31
That's absolutely. I can say that both anecdotally
21:33
and what we're seeing in the data.
21:34
But I think that that is coming from a place of parents being
21:37
exhausted, trying all of the traditional techniques and
21:40
nothing working and really not knowing where to turn.
21:44
So I think it's, it's important to hear this message because
21:50
what needs to happen is as a parent to hear that you are not
21:55
failing and that the fact that you care is half the battle.
21:59
So that is so important to continue to care and love you
22:04
know your child regardless. But there's also no quick fix
22:09
because if there was, we'd all know by now and it'd all be
22:12
fixed. So when we're talking about kids
22:16
dysregulation, please, please, please, I, I ask and I beg of
22:20
you, please don't go to behaviour charts or sticker
22:23
systems or, you know, gold stars or certificates because that
22:27
doesn't help the nervous system of children.
22:29
We are talking about children's dysregulated nervous system from
22:33
that exposure to stress in the first five years of life.
22:36
And so anything that promises that and says that it's going to
22:40
absolutely fix your child without looking at the nervous
22:42
system is, is is not necessarily going to potentially be your
22:48
experience. So children's brains are built
22:52
through repetition, thousands of repetitions of experiences, not
22:57
one single intervention. So not one quick fix is going to
23:00
work here. Regulation skills are learned
23:04
through repeated Co regulation with calm adults.
23:07
Let me say that again, because for the parents listening, this
23:10
is really, really important. Take the I really want to like,
23:15
take the burden of some of that guilt and shame and fear of
23:22
failure as a parent because, you know, all parents feel that to
23:25
some extent in some way, right? But take that off and know that
23:31
what children are looking for right now, and especially our
23:34
kids starting school or early years of school that they needed
23:38
need repeated Co regulation with a calm adult over years, over
23:43
months. Sorry, I should say that the
23:44
other way around. I'm getting ahead of myself over
23:47
months, over years, not not just a couple of times.
23:50
So a behaviour chart can change behaviour temporarily.
23:54
Sure, there is a place for all of that, but we often see kids
23:58
comply rather than learning unnecessarily those skills that
24:03
are going to support their regulation long term.
24:06
And that's where we need that Co regulation and that experience
24:10
with a calm adult. So what do kids actually need
24:13
who are struggling in this space?
24:15
It's consistency, predictability, reliability, and
24:18
an attuned relationship over time, over months, over years.
24:23
This isn't a quick fix because we went through a traumatic
24:26
event over months, over years. So we can't expect kids to get
24:31
that quick fix even though we feel that pressure.
24:33
It really is giving yourself permission as a parent to say
24:37
I'm doing enough because I'm working my butt off and I'm
24:41
trying as hard as I can and I'm working as hard as I can and I'm
24:45
giving as much as I can, right. So Co regulation through your
24:50
calm presence is what kids need and connection over correction
24:54
every every time, I will always say and patience with this
24:59
process. So if you are, because I want to
25:02
kind of get a little forward in here, when you are picking up on
25:04
that stuff for you as a parent and when you're picking up on
25:08
that urgency as a therapist, it is so much more around what's
25:12
going on for us than necessarily what's happening for the child.
25:15
So if we're feeling that urgency as a parent, how are you as a
25:18
parent getting support? Like are you getting support?
25:22
Like are you having someone you can talk to?
25:25
Are you looking after yourself and not just the self care
25:30
garbage that people put online about like colour, colour,
25:33
colour in some pictures? No, no, no, what we need to talk
25:38
about is actually looking after ourselves as adults so that we
25:41
can be there to regulate our children and help support them
25:45
to rewire their brains to be regulated as well.
25:47
So wanting a quick fix though is not a character flaw.
25:51
I need to emphasise that if you are a parent listing right now
25:54
who is desperate, that absolutely makes sense because
25:57
you are in the trenches and it is a very hard slog.
26:02
Absolutely, and I want to normalise that and name that for
26:04
you. It's the language when you are
26:06
feeling like you want a quick fix.
26:08
It's the language of an exhausted parent who's run out
26:11
of resources and is literally looking for a lifeline.
26:14
And so I have so much empathy and compassion for that.
26:18
But the quick fix is also not the answer.
26:20
You are actually the answer. I love this reminder.
26:25
There is nothing outside of your connection with your child.
26:29
There is nothing that I can say as a therapist that is going to
26:32
trump that connection and relationship you have with your
26:35
your son or daughter or them or they, right.
26:38
Nothing. Nothing is going to trump that
26:40
connection. So it's so important that you as
26:46
the parent and practitioners working the space, remind your
26:49
clients that you are so important as well.
26:52
Your presence, your patience, your regulation, your
26:55
relationship, because nothing is perfect.
26:59
So this needs to be something that we remind ourselves to help
27:03
us move into the space of, OK, well, what does that look like?
27:06
How do I do that? I want to talk about giving you
27:10
permission to be the good enough parent.
27:12
Let me say that louder for the people in the back.
27:17
There is no such thing as the perfect parent.
27:20
And I say this as a parent myself.
27:22
OK? It doesn't exist.
27:24
There is a phenomenon in our society, thanks to social media
27:30
called the Instagram parent. Heard of it before?
27:33
If you haven't, let me tell you about it, OK?
27:39
It is definitely when we see parents and families online with
27:44
beautiful composed photos of wonderful family routines.
27:50
You know, beautiful homes, spotless kitchens, calm smiling
27:54
kids eating, you know, beautiful dinners made by their barmit and
27:58
or dad or whoever, their caregiver and beautiful photos
28:03
of parents doing gentle parenting.
28:05
And you know all of those things right behind all of those
28:11
photos. You didn't see the meltdown
28:13
before. You didn't see the exhausted
28:15
parent crying in the bathroom afterwards.
28:18
You didn't see the cropped out chaos.
28:20
It's just a beautiful photo on Instagram.
28:23
So please, please know that it is not reality.
28:28
It 1000% isn't. So if you are a parent comparing
28:31
yourself to other parents online, please please please
28:34
give yourself the space and the empathy.
28:36
You don't have to do that. Don't do it.
28:40
Like don't don't kind of compare yourself in that space.
28:46
It's just not reality. It's a curated reality would be
28:50
my argument. Social media does not show
28:53
parenting. It shows the 2% best version of
28:56
the parent, the polished day in the life.
29:00
And for anyone who has followed me, this is just like so
29:03
accurate. Because if anyone follows me on
29:05
social media, on the Play Therapy Circle podcast, or on my
29:11
training and therapy page, you will see in real time stories of
29:15
me not kicking goals. No, no, no.
29:18
Because I am not authentic, congruent, congruent if I don't.
29:21
But also I want to give a realistic and authentic message
29:25
out there to parents because that's what counts.
29:27
That's what matters is for you to know that you're not alone
29:30
and that we all live in the grey and that we're not all kicking
29:34
goals every day. So that's so, so important.
29:37
I don't know for any of you listening if you have ever heard
29:40
of a man by the name of Donald Winnicott.
29:42
I am a huge fan of his work. He was a paediatrician and
29:46
psychoanalyst in the 1950s who believed in the good enough
29:50
mother. He gave us such incredible terms
29:53
like the true self and the false self.
29:57
But he also gave us the term the good enough parent, and it's so
30:03
freeing when we use this term to give ourselves that permission
30:08
to not always be perfect. His insight was the following,
30:13
that the perfect parent is not what the child or what the
30:16
children need. Children actually need to
30:19
experience more ruptures and small repairs.
30:23
They need to see parents lose their patience and apologise.
30:27
They need to know that the parent is a real human in the
30:30
playroom. As a therapist, what does that
30:32
look like for any of you who have done CCPT?
30:35
CCPT training, you would know that we if we get it wrong in
30:39
the playroom, what's the first thing we say is by therapist?
30:42
Oh, I got that wrong. Yeah.
30:44
You're actually feeling really angry.
30:46
I got that wrong because it's important for them to know that
30:50
we are valuable as well. A parent who is perfect, never
30:55
angry, never tired, always available would actually deprive
31:00
a child of important developmental milestones.
31:03
Here is your clinical rationale for you parents.
31:07
If you want to chat at the next pickup zone afternoon where all
31:11
the parents are comparing notes on how amazing they are, I'm
31:14
just kidding. I'm just kidding.
31:17
But if you want to certainly give yourself that Peace of Mind
31:22
or, you know, validate your position to others, to say a
31:26
perfect parent is not going to give what a the child
31:29
developmentally needs to grow and thrive. 100% good enough
31:33
means you get it right most of the time.
31:36
You repair when you get it wrong, and you stay in the
31:39
relationship even when it's hard.
31:41
That's the work. Let me say that again.
31:43
Good enough parent means at its core, you get it right most of
31:48
the time, but not all the time. Sometimes you're going to make
31:50
mistakes. You repair when you get it wrong
31:53
and you apologise and you stay in the relationship with your
31:58
child even when it gets hard. That's it.
32:01
That's what you need to do. So what does good enough look
32:04
like in real life? It's getting through Tuesday
32:06
dinner without yelling more than once.
32:09
Oh my God. So I have to share this really
32:12
briefly because I've shared this enough now that I feel like
32:17
people either are judging me or not.
32:19
Again, truly authentic guys, I don't care.
32:22
Somebody had told me a while ago, I have no idea who it was.
32:26
So if you remember, if you hear this episode and you remember,
32:29
please tell me, message me somebody.
32:32
There's a supervisor who told me that.
32:34
Like having dinner together at the dinner table.
32:38
Like there's some research out there.
32:39
I absolutely cannot give you the quote because I don't know
32:41
exactly where it was from. This is, this is anecdotal,
32:43
right? This is information.
32:44
No, it's not anecdotal. This is like information someone
32:48
shared with me where it was something like having dinner
32:52
together at a dinner table reduces, you know, children's
32:56
potential to end up in prison. And I was like, that's amazing.
32:59
That's excellent. I'm going to hold on to that and
33:01
grab that and use that wherever I go.
33:03
So I we do, I don't know how it happened.
33:07
I actually found out like I've been doing dinners at the dinner
33:10
table with my kids and my husband for years before I found
33:13
this out. But I was like great.
33:14
And added bonus that my kids aren't going to prison now
33:17
because we've been doing dinner at the dinner table.
33:18
Fantastic. Love that for me.
33:21
But I was, I wanted to say it in the context of this because we
33:26
will have with a 13 and a 14 year old and a neurotypical
33:30
husband and a neurospicy wife that we will have conversations
33:34
at the dinner table where, yeah, things go sideways.
33:38
And I mean, in the sense of like, you know, the 13 and the
33:41
14 years of like kind of the sass and just kind of, you know,
33:45
the judgement and the eye rolling and all of the things
33:48
right? And I will sometimes say I just
33:51
don't get paid enough to referee between you 2.
33:54
Can we can we just kind of maybe park it for tomorrow?
33:56
Like I'm kind of passive aggressive, but I'm also kind of
33:59
like realistic of like I actually don't get paid to do
34:02
this. And so even in a therapist's
34:06
home at a dinner table, there are times where I am just
34:10
grateful that we go through dinner.
34:12
So if you get through dinner on Tuesday, great, good for you.
34:16
Like that's exactly what parenting is like.
34:18
It is not about kicking goals and looking very manicured and
34:22
gorgeous and put together all the time.
34:24
No, no apologising after you've maybe not necessarily had a
34:29
great morning with your kids, right?
34:31
Letting them have the iPad so you can have a 5 minute break so
34:34
you don't lose it as a parent, right?
34:37
No judgement here. Absolutely no judgement saying I
34:41
love you before bed, even though you spent the day pretty much
34:44
ready to leave your temper, right?
34:48
The leaving in the potential of tomorrow as a parent like reset
34:55
starting in tomorrow, showing up tomorrow when you didn't show up
34:58
today because it just all went went S right?
35:03
That's parenting. That's the good enough parent
35:05
where we try again tomorrow because we know that today was a
35:09
write off. That's it.
35:10
That's what we need. And we need to give permission
35:12
to parents instead of kicking goals and having, you know,
35:16
beautifully dressed, perfect setups.
35:19
Oh my goodness. That's absolutely not the case
35:21
for me. It's important.
35:23
It's important that you hear this as a parent and for you to
35:26
be sharing this as a practitioner with parents.
35:28
Permission for the following. You do not have to get gentle
35:34
parenting perfectly right every time either.
35:37
And you do not need to raise your voice ever.
35:40
You're not sorry. Let me say that again.
35:42
I'm stumbling all of my words because it's too late in the
35:44
day. You do not have to never raise
35:47
your voice because let's be real, that we're going to get
35:51
frustrated at times with our kids.
35:53
I feel like as my kids have gotten older, it's it's gotten
35:55
slightly easier. Who is having a fun time as a
35:59
parent right now? That's the whole reason for this
36:02
episode, right? You don't have to cook every
36:05
meal. It is an absolute running joke
36:06
in my family that my husband did not marry me as a housewife.
36:11
And it's absolutely not the case.
36:13
I am a terrible cook. I am a mum, I'm a wife and I'm
36:17
an absolute terrible, terrible cook.
36:20
So you can absolutely guarantee my husband is on night shift
36:24
tonight and tomorrow night. Do you know what we're going to
36:25
be doing for dinner? Take away.
36:28
There you go. There's, we're coming to
36:29
confession, we're telling all about things that we're doing
36:32
right now. I absolutely am setting the bar
36:34
incredibly low and everyone in my family knows that as well,
36:37
that they're not going to get anything cooked.
36:40
And if they are, you know, the one thing I can cook though,
36:43
going off on a very wide tangent here, I can do carbonara because
36:47
do you know what's in that? Like eggs in my version,
36:51
obviously, right? There's probably a very nice,
36:53
elegant, elegant kind of version of it.
36:55
Not my version. It's got egg, it's got diced
36:59
bacon, it's got cream and Parmesan cheese and pasta.
37:04
Oh, and some salt and pepper. I can do that.
37:09
I can do that. That's it So like give yourself
37:14
permission that you don't always have to cook the meals from
37:17
scratch or make the beautiful manicured lunch lunches.
37:21
That was always a thing like because I have worked since my
37:24
kids were three months old, both of them.
37:26
I, I was just in a position, my husband and I, that I needed to
37:30
go back to work when paid maternity leave here in
37:33
Australia was over. And that was back in 2012 and
37:35
2013. So you only got 3 months back
37:38
then. So I was back at work working.
37:40
So like that juggle of working and just being there for your
37:45
kids. I never got that balance and I
37:50
still don't to this day. And I just, yeah, I just
37:55
remember, you know, so many of the kids that my kids would go
37:59
to school with who would, you know, have have parents or have,
38:04
I'm going to use gender terms here to say have moms that were
38:09
making beautiful lunches for the kids.
38:11
And my kids were not, no, no, they were not having beautiful
38:14
lunches. So, you know, I even say that
38:17
now with like all of this kind of guilt and shame of like, God,
38:20
I wish I could have like, you know, made beautiful sandwiches
38:23
or cut off the crust and I don't know.
38:26
And then I think there's absolutely no way that I would
38:28
do that anyway. And my kids know now not to
38:31
expect that either. So like we, we all kind of meet
38:34
in the middle, but I think it's really important to allow
38:38
yourself to be tired. Oh, man, I'm talking to myself
38:41
right now. You guys, for reals, It's OK to
38:46
be tired. How is it the middle of May?
38:49
I always start my episodes like this and I haven't had a chance
38:52
to do it, but how is it the middle of May?
38:55
I'm so tired and there's just so much ahead of the year to go.
39:03
Like really, truly like. Oh my God.
39:07
Yeah. Anyway, back to back to the
39:10
notes. So you were allowed to be tired.
39:13
You're allowed to have tough days.
39:14
You're allowed to have tough weeks.
39:16
You're allowed to have tough months.
39:18
Take as long as you need as an adult, as a parent, take as long
39:21
as you need. You're allowed to lose your
39:23
patience, but do the repair afterwards.
39:25
Because we're valuable, right? We kind of lose our stuff and
39:29
then we let the kids know that was not OK.
39:34
Your child does not need a perfect parent.
39:36
They need you. You at the end of the day are
39:39
the answer. Your presence, your realness,
39:42
your willingness to repair, your willingness to try again.
39:45
I do find this going again often a tangent because, and I don't
39:50
think any of Chelsea's friends moms listens to this.
39:52
By the way, how great is this? Because I feel like they would
39:56
get the joke. I'm about to joke about these
39:58
guys. So like, you know.
40:00
For any of those ladies listening, there's a couple of
40:02
them. You know I love you.
40:04
It's all love. It's all love.
40:06
But when Chelsea's friends come over to our place, fortunately
40:11
or unfortunately, I don't really know because I know I'm a
40:14
therapist, I start getting their burdens, their issues and their
40:18
life stories and their challenges.
40:20
My daughter, on the other hand, is so bored because I will do
40:25
things like that just sounds like it's really hot.
40:27
It's reflecting feelings in children to play therapy prep.
40:30
That just sounds like that's really hard.
40:31
And you just really wish you'd had a different teacher.
40:34
Yeah, that teacher is really hard.
40:36
And. And it's just makes that math
40:38
subject really tricky for you. Yeah.
40:40
You're just really struggling with that right now.
40:42
Like, I'm going to say this joke.
40:44
I joke, but half serious that I really need to start sending an
40:47
invoice to those parents because I had them over and then I give
40:51
them therapy. No, I don't give them therapy.
40:52
Of course, you never parent. You never give therapy to
40:55
friends or family, but I think it's when I think the difference
41:01
sometimes that we hone the skill in CCPT of is that realness and
41:09
that value of connection, that willingness to connect and to be
41:14
present and to hear children's stories.
41:16
And I say I work with children of all ages, so teenagers as
41:19
well. So I think that that's something
41:22
that it, it doesn't seem like it's a superpower, but I would
41:27
love to encourage more parents to just be OK with being real
41:32
with their kids because you have no idea how much that helps them
41:36
when you can just listen and be real with them.
41:40
And not necessarily, I need to kind of give that.
41:42
What's a caveat, I guess that it's not about you then sharing
41:46
your burdens and your life story.
41:48
That's absolutely not what it's about, but it's just about
41:51
normalising their experiences, normalising their feelings,
41:54
whether that's their fear, whether that's their anxiety and
41:58
staying in that present Co regulated state.
42:00
Calm. State yourself so that you can
42:02
help them to become regulated and calm too.
42:06
So they need you more than any technique, any intervention, any
42:09
tool, any strategy. So for practitioners listening,
42:13
this message is for you too. You don't have to have the
42:16
perfect answer. I genuinely say this to my
42:19
supervisees all of the time. It is so important that you go
42:25
back to basics with parents and start with Maslow's hierarchy of
42:29
needs. Like, has that parent eaten
42:33
today? Like, have they slept this week?
42:35
Like I'm not kidding because we are working with a population of
42:39
parents who are all exhausted. So my thing this week, and I
42:44
don't want to jinx it. I'm going to like tap on some
42:46
wood right now for good luck because I feel like it may
42:49
change. But this week I have been
42:52
walking. I know.
42:53
And for anyone that knows me already, you're like, wow,
42:56
that's a lot. And it is it is a lot.
42:58
Thank you, thank you. I need the empathy.
43:00
I decided to start walking this week because I got told by my
43:03
doctors I need to, you know, just for health, for life, just
43:07
to be healthy. And I don't exercise and haven't
43:10
for years. So when you're 43, unfortunately
43:14
you have to start exercising. Bummer, bummer.
43:17
The downside of getting older Anyway, so I've been trying to
43:21
walk this week and I have walked for three days in a row.
43:24
And that in itself is monumental.
43:26
But like, what I realised because it did stumbling block
43:30
for me for so long, had been I don't have the time.
43:32
I don't have the time. So I can't do it because I'm
43:34
scheduled and I'm busy and I've got things on and my kids have
43:36
got things on so I can't do it. But in my newer spicy brain, I
43:41
have set my alarm. I've taken my phone out of my
43:45
bedroom. You guys like when I tell you
43:47
that like I don't even know who I am anymore.
43:50
I've taken my phone out of and it's in my office now, which is
43:52
like 2 rooms away. So I can't reach it, can't see
43:55
it. So I can't look at my phone, you
43:58
know, before bed, which is a good thing because it's supposed
44:01
to help with sleep. I haven't seen that yet, but I'm
44:03
waiting for the sleep part to kick in.
44:06
But I set my little like analogue clock next to my bed.
44:11
I know I'm a geriatric millennial, like feel free to
44:14
judge, but I have a little alarm clock next to my bed and I set
44:18
it for 5:50, which is a God early hour in my world.
44:22
Like five, 5:50 AM. It's bloody early.
44:26
Anyway, I've turned it on and I get up and I start walking with
44:30
my dog because my dog needs exercise and that's the only
44:33
reason I'm getting out of bed. I have to have a reason for it.
44:36
And otherwise if I don't, my wolfhound runs because she's
44:40
that meme of a dog when the gate is opened where they will be
44:44
like, run. Like someone left the gate open
44:46
and the dog's just running in the wind.
44:48
That's my dog. That's Molly.
44:50
So if I take her for a walk, she's really lazy and she's
44:53
like, yeah, I don't have any energy left, so I'm going to
44:55
run. So it's a good thing for our
44:56
family. So Long story short, the purpose
44:59
of this conversation is that by me going for a walk this week, I
45:03
felt pretty good. But also I just have my alarm at
45:07
5:50 and it goes off and I have to get up.
45:10
Look, it's, it's not rocket science, but it is rocket
45:13
science for me because it's taken me.
45:15
I don't know. I can't remember the last time I
45:17
exercised. I'm not even gonna joke with you
45:19
guys. It's been years, years since
45:22
I've exercised. So I think that finding the time
45:27
for you can be something that's really tricky.
45:31
And it's actually really important though, that we do.
45:34
And so I'm going to talk about like the idea of self care in
45:38
inverted commas because if I hear one more person tell me,
45:42
you know, to just, you know, meditate or go to a yoga class,
45:46
I will be the opposite of somebody who has been to a yoga
45:48
class. I will be very angry.
45:50
So what do we actually need? Sleep I have got like on my
45:55
TikTok, on the TikTok, I have so many videos come through and I'm
45:59
like, I, I feel like at this point it's just insulting where
46:02
they're all kind of saying the same thing as like, you know, to
46:05
get healthy sleep for 8 hours, drink water, eat good meals
46:11
right with fruits and vegetables and go for a walk.
46:14
And I'm like, well, yeah, of course that sounds pretty easy,
46:18
but like, it's hard. So it's actually not that hard,
46:22
but it's just actually having that commitment.
46:24
But it is in the context of this overwhelm and exhaustion that we
46:27
all have as geriatric millennial parents parenting in this
46:30
current climate, then we're all exhausted.
46:32
We don't feel like we have time. So just start small.
46:35
I'm not going to be that. Oh, man, I sound like I'm one of
46:37
those, like, exercise gurus at this point.
46:39
No, I'm not going to do that. I think what's important though
46:42
is to realise that things like sleep are actually like
46:46
necessary, not a luxury. So if you're not getting enough
46:49
sleep, that's where I'm starting with parents.
46:51
So for practitioners listening, start with Maslow's Hierarchy of
46:55
needs. Ask the parent, are they getting
46:57
sleep? Because if they're not, they're
46:59
not going to take on any of that psycho education and learning
47:01
that you're going to give them connection.
47:04
You need to feel like you've got that connection, that you are
47:08
not alone. And that isolation, especially
47:12
as a practitioner, can be a very quick slide to burn out.
47:17
So please, please, please reach out to your supervisor, reach
47:19
out to your colleagues, reach out to your friends and family
47:22
because staying connected is so, so important.
47:24
Movement, even 10 minutes. I did 20 minutes in the rain and
47:29
I don't walk. So if I can do 20 minutes in the
47:31
rain, just kidding. I'm just kidding.
47:34
I don't know why I did that. Oh man, I was, I was so like in
47:38
the zone. I was like, Yep, I'm walking,
47:40
I'm walking. And then I got down to kind of
47:42
like where the we've got like a Bay kind of area near our house
47:46
and I could see like the rain coming off the, the Bay.
47:49
And I was like, no, absolutely not.
47:52
I'm going home. I'm not walking in the rain.
47:54
But I got 20 minutes. I got 20 minutes.
47:56
So even 10 minutes, 10 minutes is a thing.
47:59
It really is time alone. Oh my God, please, please,
48:04
please enjoy your time alone. Even if it's just a little bit.
48:07
Like, you know, when you get the kids into bed, just take that
48:10
minute and, you know, soak it in because recharging yourself is
48:14
just as important. Permission to do less.
48:19
Oh my God. Yep.
48:22
Don't have to say yes to everything or the meal doesn't
48:26
have to be amazing or you don't absolutely have to have the
48:30
laundry done. The house can be a little bit
48:32
better messy like permission to do less is my message.
48:37
And I'm gonna I'm saying this to myself as well, by the way, you
48:39
guys, I'm literally like, listen to me.
48:42
I'm saying this internally to myself.
48:44
I need to hear this. Permission to do less accessing
48:49
supports, absolutely for parents seeing your GP, you know, making
48:54
sure that you are getting referrals to counsellors,
48:59
psychologists, therapists, people in your community who can
49:03
help because there is absolutely somebody always ready to listen
49:06
and who's out there to listen. A play therapist because we
49:10
help, you know, for children and for parents, like that's our
49:13
job, that's what we got it. Well, that's what we're meant to
49:15
do and that's what we love to do and it's our passion.
49:19
So connecting with your local play therapist, parent support
49:22
groups, like sometimes it depends whether they're online
49:26
or in person, you know, look in your local area because like I
49:29
obviously can't talk to everyone's individual local
49:31
areas. Here in the Bayside area of
49:33
Brisbane, we have our child health clinics run by Queensland
49:36
Health who run free parent support groups.
49:40
So that's, you know, just one example.
49:42
You know, finding your community, finding your tribe is
49:44
very important. There is always help out there
49:47
though as well. Beyond blue in Australia, I can
49:50
talk to Australia. So beyond Blue, I'm going to put
49:53
these notes at the end of this episode as well for anyone who
49:57
would like the resources. But Beyond Blue Panda parent
50:02
line, any of those one yeah, Lifeline 1/3 Health, I think it
50:09
is as well for children's support.
50:12
So there is so many services out there.
50:15
It's just important that you are as a parent, seeking that
50:19
support not only for your child but for yourself as well.
50:24
So asking for help is not a weakness though.
50:26
It's actually you saying that I know that things could be better
50:30
and I want things to be better and so I want better for my
50:32
childhood, for me. So saying and recognising that
50:35
you can't do it all yourself and you really can't as a parent, it
50:39
absolutely takes a village. And so it's so important and
50:42
it's actually really courageous. I often say to parents, when I
50:45
do the initial consultation, I just want to honour like how how
50:49
much courage it would have taken to just be here today to just
50:54
make it to my office, to just make it to this Zoom call.
50:57
Like really validating that there's so much anxiety and
51:01
trepidation and fear and judgement that you feel as a
51:04
parent going and seeing a therapist when it actually is
51:07
something incredibly courageous. And that children need a
51:10
village. They do.
51:12
And we need to work towards kind of building that back up.
51:15
So I want to, I want to leave with a few kind of messages, I
51:20
guess. And I hope that this episode has
51:22
been helpful and useful. Good Lord, has been cathartic
51:24
for me. This has been great.
51:27
I feel so much better about my parenting now.
51:29
Hopefully for anyone who's been listening, you feel the same
51:31
because that's the intention. If you are listening and you're
51:34
exhausted, same. Yep, I see you.
51:39
If you are listening and you're wondering whether you're doing
51:41
enough, you absolutely are. You are.
51:45
Play this back if you need to save this.
51:48
If you are wondering if you're doing enough, Kylie said you
51:51
are. If you're listening to this and
51:53
measuring yourself against impossible standard, AKA the
51:57
Instagram moms, put it down. Put the phone down.
52:00
Turn it off. Take Instagram off your phone.
52:01
I'm just kidding. Just put it down.
52:04
Yeah, give yourself that permission to let that go
52:07
because that's not reality. 1000% So children right now are
52:12
genuinely harder in terms of their presenting issues than
52:15
ever before, and that's real. Not a failure for you as a
52:20
parent. 1000% There is no quick fix, you guys.
52:25
But there is you, and you are actually what matters as a
52:29
parent, as a therapist, as a member of the community.
52:33
Good enough is enough. Repair is part of love.
52:38
Like we are not going to get it perfect every time.
52:40
The repair is where that learning and growth happens.
52:43
Your well being is not the consolation prize for your
52:47
child's well being. It's actually both needed
52:50
equally the same. So this week, I want to offer an
52:56
invitation for parents, if you are daring enough to do so, to
53:03
pick one impossible standard that you've been holding
53:05
yourself to and just lay it down for a couple of days and see
53:10
what happens. Kind of give yourself that break
53:14
and that permission to be the good enough parent.
53:18
So I don't know if this has been helpful or useful for anyone,
53:22
but I really hope it is. And I hope that it reaches those
53:24
parents right now who are exhausted, who are overwhelmed,
53:28
who feel like they're not doing enough, that you have heard this
53:30
message. So please, please, please, for
53:33
any of you working in this space who are working with parents,
53:35
please feel free to share this episode so that it reaches them,
53:39
reaches parents that need to hear this, but also for
53:42
practitioners as well. You are enough.
53:44
And your relationship with the child in the playroom is
53:47
absolutely critical to helping support that Co regulation and
53:51
to support that nervous system of the child.
53:53
We've talked about that in previous episodes.
53:55
And so your work is enough as well.
53:57
So that's really important too. Hey everyone, I hope that this
54:00
episode has been helpful and useful.
54:02
I am so, so glad and so grateful.
54:04
It's 52 minute mark. You guys, I've done I've been
54:06
talking for way too long. You guys, there's the 30 minute
54:09
episode going out to 52 minutes. I please, please, please follow
54:14
us on the socials because if you want to see like what I get up
54:17
to in a week between episodes, feel free to come join us over
54:22
on the Instagram or the Facebook.
54:25
I think, I think the stories on the Facebook, I post them on the
54:27
Instagram. So definitely follow us on
54:29
Instagram, play therapy Circle podcast or on Facebook or TikTok
54:34
as well when I remember to post there.
54:37
Or you can follow us on YouTube. Definitely grab these episodes
54:41
on Spotify, Apple Podcasts and wherever you get your good
54:44
podcasts. We also have our circle
54:46
subscription, so we'll put the link in the description below if
54:49
you would like to join our free community because we love
54:51
connecting with our CCPT community, colleagues and
54:55
friends. Hey, it is so important now more
54:58
than ever to look after yourselves and each other.
55:00
Go well. I look forward to seeing you
55:03
guys next week. Look after yourselves.
55:05
Until next time, bye. Thank you so much for being here
55:11
for another episode of The Play Therapy Circle.
55:14
If anything resonated with you today, I'd love it if you could
55:17
follow the podcast, share it with a colleague, or leave a
55:21
short review. It really helps others find our
55:23
circle. And if you have a topic or
55:25
question you'd love me to explore, I'd love to hear from
55:28
you. This space is for you and I
55:31
wanted to feel like a conversation.
55:34
Until next time, take care of yourself and remember you belong
55:39
here.