Latest / Forged In The Dark / A Season Of Lasts
Transcript
- Forged In The Dark: We all have them. That season where everything is a last. Sometimes these seasons are expected, and sometimes they couldn't be more unexpected. Now there is something to learn, or many things to learn from the unexpected ones, and we can use those learnings to prepare for the expected ones. I know, I couldn't have been more confusing there, could I have? Welcome to Forged in the Dark. I'm your host, Jamie. Let's dig in. Last week I attended my last high school parent football meeting. And I attended my last gridiron mom's event. And I sent my kid off to high school for the last time. And I know that I am not alone because I have consoled so many crying moms this week. Moms that don't know who they are outside of being a mom. moms who are actually pretty terrified of being empty nesters, moms who are looking down the looking looking at this year as the end. and I have done everything in my power to Hold as much loving space as I can, not only because sometimes we all need people to be a little bit softer with us, but because I'm there too. Like I am one of those moms. Okay, I might not be as weepy as all of them, but there's something to be learned here. So let's talk about this. I am in a year of last moments. I don't need to run down the list. There will be last moments every month all the way up to graduation. And then there will be last moments as this time at this time next year as I as I move my kid to college. And the one thing that I want to avoid more than anything else is regret. regretting your final interaction with people is the number one regret people experience. Now, this is typically after death, but let's go there because regret is a powerful teacher. Those dark emotions are powerful teachers. When someone you love dies, literally dies. And you are not pleased with your last interaction, that could be something that will either take you years of therapy, or if you're not awake at all, maybe you might carry with you for the rest of your life. And I'm pretty sure, even if you're not talking about death, we all have all had moments in life where. We wished we would have done something different. We wished we would have enjoyed that party more instead of running around taking pictures the whole time. We wish we would have hugged that person a little bit longer, a little bit tighter. We wish we would have taken them by the hand, stared deep into their eyes, and made sure they knew we loved them. They were loved. I mean, think about it. And think about the pain that is associated with those final moments, those final goodbyes. Heck, think about how sad you get when your favorite store or restaurant closes permanently. You go for that last shopping experience and you're sad. You go for that last meal and you're sad. Like there's there's lots of regret in life. I wish I would have eaten here more. I wish I would have shopped here more. I wish I would have told you I loved you more. What I want you to do today is flip that stuff on its head and think about the moments that you know are going to be the last and use those moments that you wish you could have done different as information to not relive them. Ladies and gentlemen, we all have lasts that are coming that we expect, and we have lasts that are coming that we do not expect. And the key to going forward in your life without regret is to be fully present in your life, to be fully present in the experience, to take advantage of the ordinary moments. this story just just flooded me, but this had to have been. Close to twenty years ago. I I was in the grocery store pregnant with my now high school senior, my three year old having a full blown meltdown on the floor. And I I'd already tried to talk him up off the floor, and I was just standing there by my cart, looking at him, waiting for him to finish. But th there was an older woman that that came up and she put her hand on my shoulder and she said, Sweetheart, I just want you to know that you're doing the right thing. And you have to learn how to embrace the sweet moments, embrace the good moments. So that these bad moments you can throw away easier. Because I guarantee you that you are going to blink your eyes and have a 10-year-old in your back seat. And let me tell you, I blinked my eyes, and both of my kids are about grown. And and this story, this story I shared, I shared yesterday in the grocery store with a mom that was that was having or that had a toddler that was having a meltdown. And so I think there's a couple things here. One, you never know the power of your words because a conversation with a stranger nearly 20 years ago is the story you just heard today. A 20-year-old story can stay with you and it can be shared. And the point is to enjoy the time you have. Make a choice to enjoy not just the big special moments, not just the parties, but The ordinary moments, the the Wednesday night dinners where where nothing special is going on. This could be your last normal Wednesday night dinner with your kid. If it was, what would you do different? This could be your last time going to the movies with your friend. What are you going to do when you leave? Are you going to hug them a little tighter? Are you gonna look them in the eyes? Are you gonna make sure that they know that you love them? If this were, if this experience that is right in front of you, if this was your last, how would you operate differently? And what is stopping you from living like that now? Now I am all in my feels today. And I have been all in everyone's feels for the last week. Because this is the normal stuff that we face in life. The painful goodbyes that we know, the painful goodbyes that we don't know, what we can learn from them, and and what we can do different every single day. The the choices that we can make to show up for our people different, to to make sure that we to make sure that they know that they are appreciated and they are loved and they are special. Now I am going to do everything in my power to be as fully present for my kids senior year as I possibly can. Because I know from past experiences, what living with regret can do to you internally. So let me let me leave you with a couple questions because we all have seasons that mark the last. Do you know you're there? Do you know you are in a season of the last moments? And how much are you appreciating these moments? One more. How can you live your life every day like it's the last? Because I don't want to be morbid, but it just might be. There are not a lot of guarantees in life. if you happen to find yourself in a season of the last, expect it to be uncomfortable. Expect it to be sad. Don't tell yourself you don't have to be sad. Don't hold back the tears. Process it. But then choose what you want instead. Choose to be fully present. Choose to store all of those memories in your head because you lived them. Okay, Until next time.