Latest / Beyond Limits With Olivia Marie / How Your Generational Trauma Effects Wealth, Money Trauma & How To Identify It

Transcript

How Your Generational Trauma Effects Wealth, Money Trauma & How To Identify It · Beyond Limits With Olivia Marie

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Live Well Podcast.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Liv, a naturopathic doctor, mentor, energy healer, a kacia breeder, intuitive, energetic business mentor, and honestly, so much more.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: I help you heal on a physical and emotional level so that you can feel delicious in your health, body, relationships, career, and bank account.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: This show is for those of you who are looking to go beyond the basic wellness stuff, cut out the BS, and really create a life you love.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: We talk about health, trauma healing, energetics, feminine energy, wealth, and magnetism so that you can live a life that feels delicious.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: In these episodes, we will have an honest conversation without the fluffy bullshit.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: You walk away with all of the insights, tools, and tips to truly live your best life, mind, body, and soul.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: If you are looking to live well, you are in the right place.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: For ways to work with me, visit keepupwithlive.com and follow me on Instagram at keepup with live for more.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: And with that, let's get into the show.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: All right, guys, I am excited to be back with another juicy episode around wealth.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: And today we are talking about how generational trauma affects wealth, money trauma, how to identify it, and all of that juicy stuff.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: So, diving right in, if you haven't listened to the previous episode from this one, which is survival mode with money, definitely go back and listen to that one as well as episode 118, where you can identify your nervous system response to money.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: And you'll kind of we'll give some examples in this one, but it's going to give you kind of a good background.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to listen to those ones first, just also listen to those ones as well as this one if you haven't.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: So, generational trauma is basically characterized by a dysfunctional reaction to chronic financial stress.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, it's crazy because a lot of the symptoms that are present with this are very similar to the symptoms of those who experience PTSD.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: So, generational trauma, it is in your DNA and it can give your nervous system a predisposition, let alone what you then picked up in life when you were born in this lifetime.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: So I kind of want to go over some of the things you might experience as a result of generational financial trauma.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: So you can kind of identify, hey, this is probably me, might be me.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: Number one is overworking, essentially in an attempt to change your money or your financial situations.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: Overspending and avoiding taking stock of your money, your wealth because it brings up painful emotions.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: Being overly frugal, basic thought patterns regarding money that are negative, rumination thoughts, thought about failure, hard.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: The ability to concentrate is basically really short, and your focus is interrupted by nagging thoughts of financial doom.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: You might see your general environment as a hostile place.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: Believe, you believe it's only gonna get worse, it's only gonna get bad, you know.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe even you receive some money and you don't think it's gonna stay around a lot, or you always assume the worst.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: Your system is stuck in kind of like an overdrive, this unresolved nervous energy around money and wealth, jitteriness, insomnia, nightmares.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: And the thing is that this is caused when expenses outweigh income from an extended period of time, not just in your life, but in any generation, parent, grandparent, going many generations back.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: So it is not the inability to pay that creates the trauma.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: It is the string of events that follow.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: So like one month can turn to three months, or basic necessities become threatened.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: And this is especially true with generational trauma, including food, housing, healthcare, all of that kind of stuff, depending on like were they around in war times, like where were they in World War II, where were they in this, like how that all went down for your family and your generations, it's gonna impact how you relate to wealth now because it's carried in your DNA essentially.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: So this is also gonna lead to like fear, some kind of predispositions where you might feel like live, like I have no reason to be in such fear around money and wealth.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like it makes no sense.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like, even if you say in this lifetime, like, you know, my parents never worried about money, but like I'm always in fearful of it.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I have no reason.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: Look at the generations before, look at their parents and their parents and their parents' parents.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: So our stress reactivity systems are essentially hijacked by our environment.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: And our stress system was made to help us turn on every cell in our body in response to a threat to our existence.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: Fight, flight, freeze, spawn, you know, for those times where we just can't cope.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: But all of these symptoms, or not symptoms, systems were developed long before humans had figured out what money was.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: Now, when we can't pay all our bills, our stress system goes all in, much the same as if we were being chased by a lion in the savannah, you know, an ambushed back in the day.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: Except back in the day, we either made it out of the lion's path and we were able to relax that night, or we were the tiger's food.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: But with financial trauma, there is no downtime.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: Our stress system is locked in overdrive, and it's not how we were designed.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: We were not meant to be in overdrive in fight or flight for a chronic amount of time.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: So, again, thinking about how this might be showing up for you generations past, and then also adding in this current lifetime, you're like, oh shit, this makes sense why my nervous system is so jacked.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: So, someone who's experienced kind of generational financial trauma not may only not only like lack the actual assets, like the physical feeling of money, but also carry emotional baggage related to that.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: Now, generational financial trauma can stem from years living in poverty, but it can also come in living in households where bills were often paid late, money seemed to come and go, feast or famine basis, um, household earners were in between jobs.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: It was difficult for them to get jobs.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: For children of immigrants, trauma can be even more pronounced.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: Perhaps your parents or grandparents immigrated to escape war, to seek economic opportunities, but there was a struggle to survive.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: They had to count every penny.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: You know, once they achieved stability, there was a scarcity mentality and urgency around money that hasn't passed down to you.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: I know that was one that I definitely had to heal and work on.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: But what I definitely don't want you to do is to spiritually bypass your situation in your story.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: Even if you are not someone who had a generation of like slavery or some like more horrific or more intense things, that doesn't mean that your system can't have a poor response generationally to financial trauma.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, you can still you can still have a response.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't make it either bad or worse.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: So don't discount your own story.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: Oh live, but it's not as bad.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't matter.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: All that matters is whether your nervous system believes it was.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: So your conscious can argue all day that it's not that bad.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: Your subconscious is still holding on to it.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: So I just want you to give yourself really permission to not write a story about how severe or not severe it is compared to other people, quote unquote, and just allow yourself to get curious on it for you.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: And so what a lot of the work I've done and work I help my clients with is to relieve a lot of these kind of like generational financial traumas.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: I remember when I was healing plum, I went into it and with like the most clearest as day, I could see the generations who had died starving.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: I could see generations who took vows because children had died starving.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: I had seen generations who had had it all and then lost it all.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: I had seen generations around like JFK who perceived that being rich was greedy.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: And so they took vows that they would never like be rich again because it was perceived as like very scary, very in danger.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like you will get shot if you are someone who has money and wealth, ergo.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: We don't want our family line to get shot.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: Ergo, money is not safe for us.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: And so, even thinking, and the reason I share these examples is for you to see, like, oh, them perceiving someone with money getting shot could be enough for your nervous system if they thought, oh, we don't want our future family to get shot because they're rich.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: So we're just gonna take a vow of poverty so that we don't, you know, ever make a ton of money, so that there's like less of a chance we can get shot.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: So it can come to suffer from that.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: It can come from, like I said, any kind of feast or famine, anytime there was starvation or people going hungry, kids going hungry, people dying of that, it being hard to put food on the table.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I even gave like the immigrant example.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like so many people come from, you know, families who've immigrated over to either Canada, the US, and they kind of like see different economic proper um opportunities, and then they come over with, we've all heard the story, a dollar in their pocket or$200 in their pocket.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I don't know about you.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: My grandparents always had like, I think it was something very low, like a hundred dollars in his pocket or something like that.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: Which now we can kind of see that there was a struggle to survive.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: And then once they achieve stability, this kind of like scarcity mentality and urgency around money that's passed down.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I can still even see it in my mom who's like, will not like very rarely buys things who isn't on sale.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: When it's on sale, hoards like way too much of it that she's not even gonna use by the time it next goes on sale or the time like it expires, because that was ingrained in her from her parents who came over, you know, to Canada to achieve economic stability.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: And then once they achieved it, the scarcity mentality is to make sure that it stays.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: And my aunt is the same way in their sisters, and so I can really see like, oh yeah, I can see where that scarcity mentality and that urgency has been passed down to me, and where I've had to kind of do some healing around that.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: So it can be very difficult to view money through the lens of possibility and abundance if you're always expecting a loss or threat to your economic survival.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: Star, like underlying key point.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: And so this kind of like generational dependency can occur for a number of reasons.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: So I just wanted to pop on and let you guys know that wealth recode is officially open.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: I am so excited.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: This is the first wealth program I've ever done to deeply recode your nervous system to feel safe around money and wealth, which means live healing calls with me where we do the work so that your body can now feel safe to receive and be in overflow.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: We are going to be doing all the stuff to reprogram all the learning beliefs, bringing safety around money, generational trauma.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's going to be one juicy program, and I don't want you to miss out because I don't know the next time I'm going to be doing this live.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: So if you know you want to heal your relationship with money, become a higher match for wealth of all kinds, and just bring nervous system safety into money, then this is the program for you.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: So we're gonna leave all the links down below.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: Check it out, let me know if you have any questions.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: This is going to be one hell of a program, and I'm so excited for those of you already inside.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: And with that, let's get back to the show.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like I said, perhaps your parents are immigrants and there's a language barrier.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, perhaps they didn't have financial success of their own.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: But it can also happen when parents don't have like sufficient retirement savings or insurance or anything like that, any reason why they can't work, or for some reason, you know, they don't have savings, and then they depend on their children for their expenses.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: And so the financial strain of generational dependency can then cause even more stress and trauma as there is tremendous pressure to provide not only for yourself and your immediate family, but your extended family as well.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: And so, a question I really like to ask so you can start to become aware of your story with money or like even your generational exposure when it comes to like finances and wealth is what is your first memory of money?
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like, write that down for later if you want to think about meditated on it.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what is your first memory of money?
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: And so we really need to unpack how consistently like feeling powerless and helpless impacts the nervous system, and how this can lead to traumatic stress, which eventually overwhelms the nervous system.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: How so many of us have watched parents, grandparents, other adults around us feel powerless with money, feel like money was a dictator of life.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: It dictated what we did, the kind of shoes we bought, whether we went on vacation or not, especially when there wasn't enough, or because there was a dependence on it.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: You know, and how we learn this response with money and also feel powerless with money, and how this leads to an overwhelmed nervous system where money is concerned.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: So whenever we deal with money, if you want to run, hide, procrastinate, freeze, dissociate by pretending whatever is happening isn't happening, all we're doing is kind of reinforcing that nervous system response.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: And how we then model this for the next generation, because everyone in our space, especially children, are sensing and connecting with our nervous system, is then going to influence generations going forward.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: So even if we put on a brave face when we are dealing with money, children can sense what's happening on a nervous system level.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: I think I said this even earlier in this episode, and their nervous systems learn that that's the way that they should behave with money.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: So you might be like, oh yeah, I mean, money's fine.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: We always have plenty of money.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: Deep down, you're like, oh fuck, there's not enough for this month.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: They will feel that.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: So that's why I feel like this work is really important.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's like it's not just for you, it's not just for me.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: It's for everyone in all generations, past, present, future, so that they can have a better relationship with mine.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: Now I want to talk about some vows because I mentioned kind of like in my personal story, vows of poverty.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I just want to like explain kind of more what that means and how this can be problematic.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: So vows in general are problematic because they often have to be healed in the spiritual plane.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: Because when we make vows, they are registered in the spiritual and the akoshic plane, and the soul is thorough, it is loyal to everything.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so when these vows are made from past generations, and vows can even be made from your own past lives.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: I know we're talking about generational trauma, but I'm just gonna sprinkle in this can also apply to your own personal past lives.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: When you make vows like this, they have to be healed on like a different kind of level, if you will.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: And if you've had an Akashic reading for me, you may have noticed one of my prompts or one of the questions I send as examples when you um get one is have I taken any vows or any contracts that are hindering me in this life?
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: And so let's say, for example, that there was like a starvation or a famine, you know, in many generations back, and you had it and then you lost it all, or you made a vow that you know you never wanted to go through that again.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: You never wanted to have it all and then lose it all.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's gonna be very difficult for you to have it all in this lifetime if your past generations are terrified of losing it all, because it would rather have nothing than to have it all and lose it all.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: You might have taken vows of poverty if you felt like you were really greedy or you were perceived as greedy in past generations.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: You might have taken one even in past lives, like I said.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: And you might be taking one in like this life in kind of um a scenario where depending on how your relationship is with your parents, you know, you might feel like you have to make a vow of loyalty to them.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: So even vows of like loyalty can deter you from really creating financial abundance and like money, wealth in this one.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, for example, let's say like the abused parent that we're loyal to was not able to make their own money and was financially dependent on, you know, a parent and another person, like stepdad or maybe actual dad that did any kind of like emotional physical abuse.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: And so they were unable to spend on themselves and they were robbed of their voice.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: You might find yourself repeating their money cycle of financial dependence and the inability to look out for yourself.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: You may even find it's unable to use your voice and opinions and situations, and you're constantly robbed of your voice.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: And then when we try to become financially dependent and make more money, we actually feel guilty in a weird sense of betrayal that we can't place because of the vow of loyalty you took to that parent.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: So the next generation sees us acting out these vows and they form their own vows of loyalty and so on, which is another reason why families and people repeat financial patterns no matter what.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: And the thing is, being rejected can feel like death because in the Stone Age, being rejected from the tribe often meant that you had to fight the elements alone, and that often led to death.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: So the reptilian brain, which hasn't evolved much, it's a primal one, rejects registers rejection as death.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_00: So you won't want to stray from being like your parents or like generations past, because that would break loyalty.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_00: You wouldn't be part of the tribe, right?
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: You would be an anomaly.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's very human to see connection acceptance because we associate that with survival and staying alive.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_00: So being rejected or witnessing someone being rejected is very traumatic.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_00: And then that fear of rejection plays out in our bank accounts, in our finances, and our wealth.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_00: And that can look like not being able to go beyond a certain amount of money in our bank accounts, you know, mirroring our families and their spending, their saving habits, not being able to go past a certain income level, you know, usually so that you don't out-earn the tribe, which isn't relevant now, but it's in our primal brains.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_00: Our brains are still very primal and reptilian.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_00: You know, not being able to invest in a way that creates generational wealth.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: This can also look at like guilt around how much money you make, any kind of shame.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: You know, so if you feel like I'm gonna be outcast, I'm not gonna be loved, there are people are gonna need more money from me, um, I won't be able to fit in with my family or my friends.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: I will be separated from the generations.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like all of this is going to get passed down through your DNA, but also play out in your current day-to-day, depending on how you were brought up and depending on the environment that you grew up in.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: So there's a great question in the portal, which you guys haven't joined, mentioned this before, but it's my beautiful little free community where I post extra like little tidbits, nuggets, questions.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's really great.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: So I like to ask for questions in there around things because it just sparks a good conversation.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: So feel free to join.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_00: We always put the link in the description box.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_00: But there's a great question about the best way to not feel guilty about cutting uh back on sharing my wealth.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: I give money to my parents monthly, it is not being appreciated overtly, and I'm tired of being an ATM.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: Love how blunt this was.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: Love it.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: And this is what I mean by vows of loyalty.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_00: So the guilt is coming from a little girl in there who believes that by not helping or not helping, you know, to the degree you are, is taking a like breaking that vow of loyalty to your parents.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: Parents are often the hardest one, or whoever your parental figures were because we feel like responsible, quote unquote.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_00: But remember, generational dependency does not help anyone.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_00: It does not help the generations before you or um ahead of you, right?
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's creating your own money trauma, like it creates money trauma for you itself because the financial strain of this dependency causes you stress, and there's a tremendous pressure to provide, not only for yourself, but your immediate family, your extended family, and then that creates generational trauma within you going forward.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_00: So sitting with that little girl who feels guilty and working with her and doing inner child work is what is going to help this.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_00: Especially if you feel like it's unappreciated, you need to set a boundary of not being just like an ATM.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_00: But again, looking at any vows you may have taken, um, looking at, you know, depending on how they grew up, I don't know if they were immigrants or whatever it was, but how their wealth situation was, as a child, you could have perceived when I'm older, I'm gonna take care of mom and dad.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_00: So they never have to worry about all this again.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna make so much money and whatever.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: And that may have allowed you to make money up until this point, or some money, but now it's like you made that vow when you were little and you're gonna feel extreme emotional turmoil to try to break it because it was based on the fact that you saw a traumatic experience and you wanted to change it.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_00: So that's kind of like how to handle that situation in terms of generational trauma, how to prevent it in the future, and what you can do to set up those barriers and boundaries for yourself so that you're not feeling that dependency that causes stress and trauma for you.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: So I hope you guys found this episode informative.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you learned something about generational trauma when it comes to finances and money.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_00: Little quick episode for you guys, but we've got a lot of good ones coming.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you guys so much for listening.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_00: I really appreciate when you guys listen, when you leave reviews, when you share it, because I do pack these episodes with a ton of value so you guys can really learn, absorb, apply this into your life, heal, and thrive, right?
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_00: So, with that being said, if you guys are really interested in healing your relationship with money, we're gonna leave wealth reco down below.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_00: It is my new program to heal your nervous system when it comes to wealth.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_00: We will be doing some work on generational trauma as well as any other limiting beliefs, nervous system responses when it comes to money to really recode it to be able to not only hold more, receive more, but to be in overflow.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_00: So, that being said, I hope you guys enjoyed the episode, and I will see you in the next one.