Latest / The Woody Show / HIGHLIGHT POD 30 MINS: The Woody Show January 21st 2026 Podcast

Transcript

HIGHLIGHT POD 30 MINS: The Woody Show January 21st 2026 Podcast · The Woody Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: This is none.
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: And into another new hour insensitivity training for a politically
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: correct world. On what he and that's great gory, h
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: Menace is here, We've got Sea Bass, We've got Sammy,
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: there's Gina grad Morgan is here. Phones are open eight
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: seven seven four. What he is? The phone number to call?
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: You can send us a text if you'd like, text
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: us over to two to nine eight seven. Uh, this hour,
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: we're going to talk to this uh, this woman named Lauren.
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: I don't even know what the status is, a friend
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: of mine. I'll say they're dating. They're not boyfriend girlfriend,
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: but they're they're seeing each other. If you're not like, yeah,
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: it's not exclusive. They're certainly not expensive going. No, they're
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: not going steady jacket no. But anyway, so, my uh,
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: my friend was a little crazy ran. He's a wild
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: guy manas you know him. Yeah, he's great guy. Yeah,
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: there's so many stories that guy should write a book.
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: He's got, dude, he's got some crazy stories involving some
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: pretty big celebrities that he's hung out and partied with
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: and everything else. He's behind stories of stories that you've
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: heard of. Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, oh for sure. All right, anyway,
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: so I was, I was in town visiting, and he goes, oh,
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: hit me up later on, let's meet up for a
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: drinker about cool. So hit him up and he goes, oh, dude, yeah, okay,
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: well we'll meet at this place. He goes, check out
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: this thing I'm with and he's always got by the way,
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: always has like a good looking check with him. Okay,
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: so he is on FaceTime, you know, he flips the
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: camera around. I go, oh, okay, and I said, who
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: is this? He goes, just this chick. I'm saying, dude,
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: she's nuts. I go yeah, oh yeah, And he wasn't wrong.
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: She she's nuttier than a squirrel.
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: Turn.
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: She's very cool, very nice. I thoroughly enjoyed, because you know,
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: I love characters.
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Do you think that she knows she's nuts?
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: Like what if she heard her self described as dude,
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: she's nuts? Would she be offended?
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: No, she's because I then hung out with her that night,
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: she I don't think maybe if you know, there was
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: a chemical imbound to that particular moment, you know what
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: I mean. But in general, I think she knows that
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: she's strange. What she's saying is that I think she
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: knows that she's eccentric. I think she would describe herself
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: as eccentric or that helps that word. Like, she knows
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: that she's not, you know, the norm. Yeah, you know,
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: she knows that she's special, different, She's self aware, Like
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: could I ever be in a relationship with this person?
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: Absolutely not. But here's the thing. She's a thirty four
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: year old virginal, so she claims that's rare. And then
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: it's also really interesting where she draws the lines in
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: her life about what she will and won't do. So
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: I'm like, as a person who loves characters, I go, man,
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: I gotta get you on the show. And so I
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: reached out to my buddy. He passed along the number.
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: I gave it to Morgan, and Morgan had a conversation
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: with her to set the call up and everything, and
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: Morgan's like, oh my god, I love her. But at
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: the same time like, oh my god.
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: Does she dress like a puritan? No? Really?
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: Oh absolutely not like short skirts, frud or something.
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: No, not a.
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: Mega prude either.
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: Interesting.
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: In fact, she was very braggadocious about how her mouth
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: parties are the eighth wonder of the world. So even
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: though she's you know, a thirty four year old virgin. Yeah,
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: so we'll talk to her this hour. Be ready on
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: the the bleep button. Guys, she's not a professional. There's
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: another crazy woman in the news. There was one in Houston.
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: She was working out and she noticed somebody familiar walking
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: in the gym. It was someone that her partner was
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: romantically involved with. Now what does that mean that your partner,
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: I guess was so not anymore? Okay. She looked at
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: the other chick and then yelled at her from across
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: the gym, saying, bitch, I'm gonna drop this twenty five
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: pound weight plate on you, damn And you know what
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: she did it? She chucked the weight right at the
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: other bitch's head, missed, missed, So there were no injuries.
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: Everyone was okay. The cops are called and the weight
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: throwing chick she was arrested, taking the jail aggravated assault,
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: deadly webcom thing. In addition to all the other punishments,
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: the judge says that once she's released, no drinking, no weed,
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: no weapons, and the worst punishment, she has to stay
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: two hundred feet away from the gym at all times.
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: Oh no, you can't go to the Jim. Hey, look,
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: I'd love to.
• 5:01
  Speaker 3: If I have to. You're nuts, but no drinking.
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: This other crazy chick Florida, out shopping ready to go home,
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: orders a lyft. The driver gets there and as he's
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: putting her bags in the trunk, she jumps behind the wheel,
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: steals the car, steals the lift. Didn't get very far
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: because the cops, you know, they just used the lift
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: driver I guess, had his phone still in the car,
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: and so they find Yeah, so they tracked it to
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: the woman's house. Turns out her license had been suspended
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: for over two years, and they searched her and she
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: had this pink glass pipe that had some cocaine residue
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: still on it and a full zanny, you know, for
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: good measure. So she was rested, taking the jail.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: She's dying to drive.
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: It's been so long.
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: You had the lift right there.
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think the craziest person is still the
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: person we have to talk to this hour, even with that. Lauren,
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: great girl, nice girl, right, but what a character. And
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: I'll I'll have her tell a couple of her stories
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: that she told me that night. And you could tell
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: me if you if you buy her, if you believe it.
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: There's one in particular about a cop that pulled her
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: over and what happened while she was pulled over. We'll
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: see if you believe it.
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: Okay, all right, this is the show. No crap.
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: So how would you guys like to meet a thirty
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: four year old virgin? I would very much like to
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: do that. Yeah, you got on the line. Her name
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: is Lauren's bring Lauren?
• 6:31
  Speaker 4: Are you there? Hey?
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: Woody, Hey girl, we're doing great.
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: Nice to meet you.
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: Ever since I met you, I've been telling everybody about you.
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: Uh Now, I don't, Okay, I haven't. I haven't mentioned
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: anything else specific to the audience so far, other than
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: you told me a thousand times how you're thirty four
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: years old and you are you're a virgin.
• 6:59
  Speaker 4: That's correct. I am a vaginal version. I have never
• 7:04
  Speaker 4: had sex.
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: Never a vaginal so not like a not like a
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: born again virgin.
• 7:11
  Speaker 4: I am not a born again version, rehabilitated slut.
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: Literally have never.
• 7:16
  Speaker 4: Had a penis in my vagina.
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: Now.
• 7:18
  Speaker 3: I heard those.
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: Words the night that I met Laura. Yeah, because Lauren,
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: Lauren is. I don't even know what you guys are.
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: Are you guys dating on a friend of mine and uh,
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: and so I met I met them out. They were
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: out on the town and just met up for a drink.
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: And this is my first experience meeting Lauren. And she
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: must have said, I have never had a penis in
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: my vagina literally a thousand times just in the matter
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: of a couple of hours. But I think that was
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: And we can get into the virginity thing here a second.
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: But she had so many other stories that that she
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: was that she was telling me that night, and I
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: wanted to like kind of revisit them to see if
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: they're the same, because they were so wild. I'm like,
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: she's got to be making this up. She's got to
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: be this. I want to see if the story. I
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: want to see if the stories match up. Now, how
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: are you thirty four years old in a virgin what's
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: the what's the reason for this? Because it's not like
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: you're an unattractive person. You're a good looking girl. You
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: can certainly, uh, you know, get dudes and get late
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: if you wanted to. So why a virgin?
• 8:13
  Speaker 4: So Ever, since I was younger, I was raised very
• 8:18
  Speaker 4: religiously and very strict Christian. As I grew older, I
• 8:25
  Speaker 4: always felt led in my spirit to wait till I
• 8:28
  Speaker 4: was married. I just felt like it was something God
• 8:31
  Speaker 4: specifically called me to do.
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: So you would think that she's walking around important. You
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: think she's walking around like in you know, pure white
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: dresses and things like living this very pure like. This
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: is the other part that I found was interesting in
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: talking to you is that you seem to draw the
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: line in a in a very weird way. So you
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: know that you were talking about, uh, you know, other
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: things that you do, not not even like sexually, but
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: just in general. Like you know, most people people who
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: are super religious sometimes don't drink, and they so.
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: I don't drink, They don't.
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: Do drugs, but you do drugs.
• 9:00
  Speaker 4: Right. So here's the thing. The first time I got
• 9:03
  Speaker 4: to share my virginity testimony on like a big public
• 9:07
  Speaker 4: setting was actually when I met Gene Simmons. So, Jene
• 9:11
  Speaker 4: Simmons was at wizard World and at that time, I'm
• 9:14
  Speaker 4: working with exotic animals, right, so I've got this big
• 9:18
  Speaker 4: python on me. So Gene comes on over and he's like, hey,
• 9:21
  Speaker 4: what are you doing with that big snake? And we
• 9:24
  Speaker 4: start talking and I say, you know, Gene, I think
• 9:27
  Speaker 4: it's wonderful that you've had sex with ten thousand women,
• 9:31
  Speaker 4: you might find it interesting to know that I'm actually
• 9:34
  Speaker 4: a virgin. And he said, no way. Well I've never
• 9:37
  Speaker 4: done drugs or alcohol. And I said, well, no way.
• 9:42
  Speaker 4: You wouldn't think that the man that had sex with
• 9:46
  Speaker 4: ten thousand women would never have drank alcohol or done
• 9:51
  Speaker 4: a drug. But yes, I'm very much virginity is sexy,
• 9:55
  Speaker 4: so I'm gonna wear the thongs, I'm gonna wear the
• 9:58
  Speaker 4: fish nuts. I think that virginity is sexy and it's powerful.
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: But you said you were you were pretty braggadocious about
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: to talk about a brag leg sea beast, and she
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: was talking about what you call your mouth parties, like
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: your your oral skills. She said, they're the eighth wonder
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: of the world.
• 10:14
  Speaker 4: It's been called the eighth wonder world.
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, right, Like.
• 10:20
  Speaker 4: You know what, I will say this, no hole is safe.
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: So I know people that are just like her who
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: party hard, but they are super religious and virginity is
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: like a big thing for them. Now you just said
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: no hole is safe. A workaround they have done is
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: anal Yeah, have you done?
• 10:39
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: I asked this question. That was one of my first parts.
• 10:43
  Speaker 4: Of Penis and my vagina. I never had kinetrate of sex. Yeah,
• 10:49
  Speaker 4: life is good and it keeps getting better. But no,
• 10:53
  Speaker 4: I uh, at this point, I'm thirty four, and uh,
• 10:57
  Speaker 4: I feel like I'm just gonna keep going. Man, And
• 11:00
  Speaker 4: we've already made it this far. Let's just keep going
• 11:02
  Speaker 4: to the finish line. But at this point, if I,
• 11:07
  Speaker 4: you know, never get married and I dia Vergin, that's
• 11:10
  Speaker 4: totally great because I'll just put on my tombstone. No
• 11:14
  Speaker 4: man was worthy and.
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: I'm good with that.
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: That is just this is your personality. Is that why
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: you want to keep on with it?
• 11:23
  Speaker 4: I am still. I am still you know in the faith.
• 11:27
  Speaker 4: As of right now, I'm going on fourteen days of
• 11:32
  Speaker 4: no food.
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I heard about this, So I am doing.
• 11:35
  Speaker 4: Doing a fast right now with my church. So shout
• 11:39
  Speaker 4: out to faithchurch dot com and Saint Louis.
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: What's the other thing you talk about? Yeah, so you're
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: having water right now?
• 11:49
  Speaker 4: Right, Lauren, We're doing a twenty one day fast in January.
• 11:53
  Speaker 4: So starting January sixth up until now, I have not
• 11:57
  Speaker 4: had a single piece of food. I am only Wow.
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: And did you weigh yourself? Have you lost weight? Are
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: you keeping track of that?
• 12:06
  Speaker 4: Maybe about five or ten pounds.
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: She didn't really have any weight to begin with. She's
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: very skinny.
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: I do, only I don't understand that willpower. Is that
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: the Lord guiding you?
• 12:17
  Speaker 4: Yeah? Absolutely so. Honestly, I want everybody to know that
• 12:24
  Speaker 4: as humans, I think we're sleeping on ourselves. I don't
• 12:26
  Speaker 4: think we've really appreciated how supernatural we are and how
• 12:30
  Speaker 4: really strong we are. And I think that humans are
• 12:33
  Speaker 4: capable of so much more than we give ourselves credit for.
• 12:39
  Speaker 4: I want everybody to internally harness that power. People fast
• 12:43
  Speaker 4: for a lot of different reasons, whether it's health related,
• 12:47
  Speaker 4: maybe overcoming a smoking addiction or a drug addiction, getting
• 12:52
  Speaker 4: closer in your spirituality, trying to hear God's voice in
• 12:56
  Speaker 4: a way maybe you've never heard before.
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: We're being stranded at sea.
• 12:59
  Speaker 4: I think, let's see right, But I think there's power
• 13:05
  Speaker 4: in it all. I think that abstinence is power, because
• 13:10
  Speaker 4: if you can't control yourself, then what can you control?
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: This is This is Lauren, and uh she is I'm
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: just gonna say she's. She's dating a friend of mine, Okay,
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: and that's how that's how I met her. And she
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: kept telling me this story about how she's a thirty
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: four year old virgin. I had the same question menus,
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: well have you done an No, she's not one of
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: those kind of virgins. She's doing it. It's based in
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: her faith, but for being such a religious person. Like
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: just some of these other stories that she was telling me,
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: which we're gonna take a quick break and then we'll
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: come back with Lauren. I want to get into a
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: couple of these other stories that that you told me.
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: And I know some other people have some questions as well.
• 13:46
  Speaker 4: There has been booty whole play, other.
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: Has some booty see. Well, I mean, what's going on here?
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: Man?
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: Sorry, we're back, hold on, welcome, welcome back everybody. We
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: still have we still have Lauren on the line, and yeah,
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: we're doing some follow up questions, you know, off the
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: air and everything. Now, okay, So Lauren told me a
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: couple of stories when we were hanging out. She's a
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: thirty four year old version if you guys are just
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: tuning in. But it doesn't mean she just hasn't done
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: other things. She calls her her mouth parties the eighth
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: wonder of the world. As you just heard coming back
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: from the break, you know, booty play.
• 14:19
  Speaker 4: I guess yeah, a penis.
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: And you gotta be very we've got to be very
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: specific about that part. Yes, there's that, But when it
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: comes to drugs, I mean, have you pretty much done
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: all the drugs cocaine?
• 14:32
  Speaker 4: Yeah, So let me just be honest. I live in
• 14:35
  Speaker 4: Saint Louis, Missouri. I've had a fake ID since I
• 14:38
  Speaker 4: was sixteen years old. I was going to the East
• 14:40
  Speaker 4: Side at sixteen, partying just like the rest of them.
• 14:44
  Speaker 4: You know, I did recreational cocaine, recreational weed, molly exasut.
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: That was just last night.
• 14:50
  Speaker 4: Everybody else I'm recreation. I'm actually abstinate right now. I
• 14:56
  Speaker 4: am abstinate sober because the fasting.
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: She's she's doing the fasting too. Yeah, you just water
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: so far since januine January. She's so at Laura.
• 15:08
  Speaker 4: But I did quit drinking at twenty.
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: Two, Like, how are you younger and inebriated? How did
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: nothing ever happen? Like how there was like not even
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: a tip there never in there no no like no
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: like just a tip.
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: Action because there's like straight dudes that go like gay
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: when they're high, you know, Like.
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there's no like so to say, like a chick
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: who is like wanted to be a virgin until she
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: stays married, Like she gets a little ripped on some
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: cocaine and you know, drinking.
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: And all judgment goes out there.
• 15:36
  Speaker 4: One absolutely absolutely not. I one hundred percent guaranteed, never
• 15:41
  Speaker 4: a slip. That's why I've never got white. People were like, oh,
• 15:44
  Speaker 4: it just happened. I just fell on and oh what
• 15:49
  Speaker 4: Like I'm like, you can't pull that with me, dude,
• 15:51
  Speaker 4: I'm thirty four years old. I've never had a penis
• 15:54
  Speaker 4: in my vagiant, So no.
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: Wastah all right? So people ask she she lives this
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: life where she's gone out and she's doing different things.
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: She just got back from a you want on a
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: ski weekend? I heard, so that must have been fun.
• 16:06
  Speaker 4: Yes, shot out the Hidden Valley as well.
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: Okay, now what are you doing for a living?
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: What?
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: Like, what do you do for work?
• 16:12
  Speaker 4: So as of right now, I've been on a sabbatical
• 16:16
  Speaker 4: enjoying life, traveling, but.
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: How do you pay for stuff? Like how do you
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: afford to you know, have a roof over your head
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: and eat food? Well, not that you're not eating now,
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: but in regular in regular times, Like how do you
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: do that?
• 16:29
  Speaker 4: So I was incredibly blessed that I owned a retail
• 16:32
  Speaker 4: store at the mall for several years, so I was
• 16:36
  Speaker 4: a business.
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: Owner kind of store. It's a T shirt shop, right,
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: that's right.
• 16:41
  Speaker 4: So I could have put your face on a shirt
• 16:43
  Speaker 4: and said, Woody best ever, Right, could have done that.
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: You want Now the reason you don't have that store anymore,
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: And this is one of the stories I was getting to.
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: One of the reasons she doesn't have that store anymore
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: is because she got raided by the Department of Homeland Security.
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: Is that true, Lauren?
• 17:00
  Speaker 4: That is absolutely true. So yeah, here I am at
• 17:03
  Speaker 4: my shop, just doing my business for the day, making
• 17:07
  Speaker 4: all the fun custom T shirts, world's greatest grandma, best dad,
• 17:11
  Speaker 4: put your face on a shirt. I just had three
• 17:14
  Speaker 4: guys walk up to me and they were wearing jeans
• 17:17
  Speaker 4: and a T shirt and baseball caps and backpacks, and
• 17:19
  Speaker 4: they were like, ma'am, we're here for your shirts, and
• 17:24
  Speaker 4: we're with the federal government. So it turns out that
• 17:30
  Speaker 4: my graphic design warehouse that I would order my prints
• 17:33
  Speaker 4: from on the East Coast, they were under federal indictment
• 17:38
  Speaker 4: and were getting investigated. Apparently they didn't have the right
• 17:42
  Speaker 4: copyright to their logos. And they literally didn't have their
• 17:48
  Speaker 4: licensing correct, and it's like, how would you ever think
• 17:51
  Speaker 4: that would happen? And how could I know that.
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: The Department of Homeland Security shows up and shuts you
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: down there? That was the end of the T shirt shop.
• 17:59
  Speaker 4: Oh know, I just I got the best lawyer in
• 18:02
  Speaker 4: town and then it went away.
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: So as far as how did she support herself, she
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: made dumb T shirt money, I guess. I mean she
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: had all that T shirt money and so she like
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: lives off that. You said you were working with exotic
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: animals at one point, what other kind of jobs? What
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: kind of jobs did you have?
• 18:19
  Speaker 4: Let's see, T shirt shop, exotic animals. We were on
• 18:22
  Speaker 4: an animal planet briefly called bare Hands Rescue. And then
• 18:28
  Speaker 4: I've been a marketing director, a financial advisor.
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: I worked at joy my social advisor, yep.
• 18:35
  Speaker 4: I worked at Northwestern Mutuals a financial advisor, okay, and
• 18:39
  Speaker 4: then but my favorite job obviously was I worked for
• 18:42
  Speaker 4: Joyce Meyer, who's a Christian televangelist, and I was on
• 18:47
  Speaker 4: Prayer Wine.
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: So what does that mean exactly?
• 18:50
  Speaker 4: People would call in and pray with me all day
• 18:53
  Speaker 4: so people could call in for free counseling or prayer.
• 18:57
  Speaker 4: While I was on prayer line, they encouraged us to
• 19:00
  Speaker 4: use our prophetic gifts, kind of like psychic.
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: So do you have a psyche so you have a Laura,
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: do you have a psychic ability?
• 19:11
  Speaker 4: I think it comes with the virgin thing that makes
• 19:17
  Speaker 4: so I do have prophetic dreams and I do have
• 19:21
  Speaker 4: prophetic visions, so I see things before they happen. The
• 19:26
  Speaker 4: craziest one was I got woken up in the middle
• 19:30
  Speaker 4: of the night at like two am, and God spoke
• 19:33
  Speaker 4: to me and he told me to go to a
• 19:36
  Speaker 4: gas station that I needed to pray for people to
• 19:39
  Speaker 4: be comforted. So I get up and I go to
• 19:43
  Speaker 4: the circle pay and the doors are locked and it
• 19:47
  Speaker 4: has a sign up and it says emergency closed. And
• 19:49
  Speaker 4: I'm like, wow, why didn't you waste my time at two?
• 19:51
  Speaker 4: And God appreciated start banging, start banging on the door.
• 19:56
  Speaker 4: Sure enough, they answer they had just been robbed at
• 19:59
  Speaker 4: nice point. I actually got there before the news and
• 20:03
  Speaker 4: before the police, and so I got a chance with
• 20:07
  Speaker 4: them them.
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: Now the Lauren, the thirty four year old virgin who's
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: dating a friend of mine, and you can see why,
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: Like I hang out with her for like a couple
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: of hours, I hear a ton of stories and I'm like, dude,
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: I've got to introduce you to the audience. We need
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: you in our lives. Yeah, so thirty four year old virgin,
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: she has never had was it? You've never had a penis?
• 20:29
  Speaker 4: Never had a penis?
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: Am I vagin? Ye?
• 20:32
  Speaker 4: Virgin?
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: Still yeah? Still yeah, okay, vaginal virgin. Now the one,
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: the one last story. And this is the one that
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: I found. Of all the stuff that we've heard, this
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: is the one I find still the most unbelievable. I'm
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: not sure that this actually happened. Maybe this is one
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: of your dreams. Lauren told me a story about how
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: she ended up on the side of a highway in
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: a fist fight with a police officer. What did you win? Well, nope,
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: they're punching each other. I'll let her tell the story.
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: There punching each other, and the story ends with the
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: cop saying, let's just call it even after the fight.
• 21:08
  Speaker 4: So I want to give a shout out to God again. So, yeah,
• 21:18
  Speaker 4: I get pulled over. Me and the cop get into
• 21:22
  Speaker 4: such a seated argument. I get out of the car,
• 21:26
  Speaker 4: but why.
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: Like, what do you what do you even know, what
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: do you even what's to argue about? What are you
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: arguing about?
• 21:30
  Speaker 4: Well, he was pulling me over for a lane change violation,
• 21:36
  Speaker 4: and I felt like he was pulling me over for
• 21:39
  Speaker 4: a false ticket. So I got out of the car.
• 21:42
  Speaker 4: We start yelling at each other's faces and it gets physical.
• 21:48
  Speaker 4: We literally start wrestling.
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: Oh wait, so who but somebody always started? Like? Were
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: you the one that started it? Was? Was he the
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: one that started it? How that work?
• 22:00
  Speaker 4: Could not remember? We were most extremely wrong in this
• 22:03
  Speaker 4: situation to be wrestling on the side of the highway.
• 22:07
  Speaker 4: And I wish I could have been a bystander because
• 22:10
  Speaker 4: it was hilarious.
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: I'm sure.
• 22:12
  Speaker 4: So here we are.
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: So you're wrestling with the cop. Now like punches start
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: getting thrown you.
• 22:18
  Speaker 4: So at this point I'm in a headlock, and as
• 22:22
  Speaker 4: I'm in a headlock, he stops and he looks at
• 22:25
  Speaker 4: the back of my car. And on the back of
• 22:28
  Speaker 4: my car I had a neon hot pink Jesus fish
• 22:33
  Speaker 4: And he goes, wait, are you a Christian? And I
• 22:37
  Speaker 4: look up at him in the headlock and I go yep,
• 22:40
  Speaker 4: And he goes, damn, we shouldn't be acting like this.
• 22:43
  Speaker 4: And at that point we just broke and he said,
• 22:47
  Speaker 4: you want to just shake hands and call it even,
• 22:49
  Speaker 4: and I said yes and amen, yes and amen.
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: Away.
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: That's prayers that that's exactly what she told me the stories,
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: so either actually happened or it was such a realistic
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: dream that she believes it happened. Happens all right, all right,
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: well Lauren, Uh god, it's been a pleasure forever. There
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: are so many other to the.
• 23:15
  Speaker 4: Incredible partners that I've been with. I've had so many
• 23:18
  Speaker 4: partners for years who have stood by me. I haven't
• 23:20
  Speaker 4: missed out on anything, Woodie. They've always supported me. They've
• 23:24
  Speaker 4: always loved me and believed in me. And just having
• 23:29
  Speaker 4: people that are interested in learning about, you know, an
• 23:33
  Speaker 4: evolution of love. I mean basically, what I tell people
• 23:36
  Speaker 4: is this, if your husband's got chopped off, would you
• 23:41
  Speaker 4: still be with him?
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: I like, but you know, okay, all right, And that's the.
• 23:51
  Speaker 4: Thing is you got to be able at least I
• 23:54
  Speaker 4: know that with what I'm doing waiting till marriage, I
• 23:57
  Speaker 4: know every partner I'm with, I can look them in
• 24:00
  Speaker 4: the eyes and know, hey, we're together because we really
• 24:03
  Speaker 4: love each other, and it's intimacy beyond sex. It's because
• 24:07
  Speaker 4: you really like them, you really get to know about them.
• 24:10
  Speaker 4: I mean, you're not just chasing an orgasm or an
• 24:13
  Speaker 4: oxytocin chemical, you know what I mean. Well, I really
• 24:18
  Speaker 4: encourage it, really selling it.
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: You've made it this far thirty four years, ladies and gentlemen,
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: with never having what is it, never having a penis.
• 24:27
  Speaker 4: In my vagina?
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: Vagina? Yeah, there you go, Lauren to the third four
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: year old. I love you, Yeah, hy Lauren.
• 24:35
  Speaker 4: Hey, guys, there's so many more out there than you realize.
• 24:39
  Speaker 3: All right, yeah, but not by choice, not just me.
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: I Well, look, thank you for taking the time and
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: chatting with us, and uh, we appreciate that. And we'll
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: see you soon. I'm sure i'll see you next time.
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: I'm hanging out with your boyfriend.
• 24:54
  Speaker 4: Absolutely, what a huge pleasure and blessing. Thank you so
• 24:57
  Speaker 4: very much to all of you, guys and up from
• 25:00
  Speaker 4: Saint Louis.
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: You guys don't want to Laura. All right, there's a
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: there's Lauren. Everybody. I told you, yeah, all day, I
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: told you. All right, Uh, we got to take a break.
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: We got some more. What a show for you?
• 25:13
  Speaker 3: Next?
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: Hang on the what do you show? We'll be right
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: back