Latest / Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler / Minisode: Zoomies on top of Zoomies with Chelsea + Catherine

Transcript

Minisode: Zoomies on top of Zoomies with Chelsea + Catherine · Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hi, Catherine. Oh hello, Chelsea, how are you?
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: Chelsea Joy Handler speaking.
• 0:07
  Speaker 3: Chelsea Joy Handler and you're just out there spreading joy.
• 0:10
  Speaker 3: It actually wasn't for like a while that I realized, Oh,
• 0:15
  Speaker 3: we always talk about like spreading joy. And I'm like, oh,
• 0:16
  Speaker 3: that's also her middle name. It's like it's right there,
• 0:19
  Speaker 3: It's just right there.
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: Well, I'm trying to spread joy. I don't know if
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: I'm always spreading joy. Sometimes I'm spreading other things.
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: Well, I have an update from a caller. This was
• 0:30
  Speaker 3: a Goalt who her name is Miley. She wrote in
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: and she was doing like a surrocacy journey if you
• 0:36
  Speaker 3: remember that language for her friend. This was from an
• 0:40
  Speaker 3: episode with Lisa Todeo. She was unsure about telling her
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: new bow she was pregnant with her friend's baby and
• 0:46
  Speaker 3: she was the surrogate, so she says a lohawk Catherine. Well,
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: about six states in he continued to push meeting my daughter.
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: I told him I was uninterested unless he was serious
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: about us, which he assured me he was. He made
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: us dinner and was so sweet to her. After she
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: went to bed, he kept asking whether or not I
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: would have any more children. I entertained that reality for
• 1:06
  Speaker 3: about twenty five seconds until I came to my senses
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: and said it was a hard no. The truth is,
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: I've already done all the hard parts, and my daughter
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: is legit fun and enjoyable to hang out with. I
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: also sleep ten hours a night and she makes her
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: own breakfast. Why on earth would I started over with
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: a baby. We went on another date and he said
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: he would have a hard time not having children of
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: his own. I told him I just know too much
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: about what having a child entails, and that the only
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: people that want kids at this point are people who
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: don't have them.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: Yet.
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: We've always respected each other's desires for our lives, so
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: we left it at that. I did, however, have to
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: post a first ultrasound pick of the surrogate baby, after
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: which he called freaking out thinking it was his.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: Lol. I know, I'm a monster.
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: I'm now almost six months pregnant with my friend's daughter,
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: saving enough to move back to Hawaiian by Land, and
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: enjoying my life without a baby in tow well not
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: mine at least.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: Hope you're both thriving. Aloha, Miley, Well, good for her.
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: People who are surrogates are That is just an amazing
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: thing to do for another person, truly get pregnant and
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: then give the baby away to someone else, like I.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: Can carry it for nine months.
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: And all the health risks that go with that and everything.
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, have you been watching The Pit.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: I have I seen a bunch of episodes of that.
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, there's like a storyline where that's happening, and the
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: scals like being a surget for I mean, it's a
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: lot of risk to carry to be a sergeant for somebody.
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: But great if that's your story. So we'll just do
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: a couple of quickie questions today. So our first question
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: today comes from Derek. He says, I would like to
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: start weed, preferably edibles, but I need to start at
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: the lowest form. Any suggestions, Derek.
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I just get something that's two point five milligrams
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: of THHC. That is the lowest entry point, and then
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: you can, you know, get a package of like gummies
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: that are two and a half. You can even they
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: probably even have one milligram, but I know they have
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: two point five and that's the lowest. That's the lowest.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: So you get that, you take one and then you
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: see how that hits you. Yeah, and you might not
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: even feel it, you know, at two and a half
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: you might want another one and then that's five. So
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: just you have to like ty trate find out what
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: your dosage is by experimentation.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I know they make two and a half miligram mints. Yeah,
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: I've tried those. Those are pretty good.
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: I am in the same boat where I'm like, I
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: like the tiniest little amount ever almost where like I'm
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: not even really feeling it.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: It's just like a little twinkle. And so what I do.
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: One I really like that never makes me nervous is
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: like the Camino chill gummies like that specific.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Caminos are good. Those are that's a good brand,
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: and they're chill ones. I literally they're five milligrams.
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: I will literally cut them either in half or in quarters,
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: like if I don't want to like really feel much,
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: but I just want.
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: To relax a little bit.
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: So definitely suggest that you don't have to take a
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: whole one, just like bite it in half or quarters
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: or whatever.
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: And then have it swallow it in a hard boiled
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: egg hole. That's what you do with that, to chase it.
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: To chase it, always my advice, always, my advice.
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: Okay, so our next question comes from Andy, longtime fan
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: here love the podcast. I hope to one day have
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: a personal problem juicy enough to write in and talk
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: to you about. But now I actually have a more
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: random question. We're exactly in Peru. Did you do ayahuasca?
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: I'm going there this summer and want to try it,
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: and it looks like you had a pretty good experience.
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: The last thing I want to do is end up
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: in some rundown hut in the middle of nowhere tripping
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: with a bunch of anacondas.
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: Andy, That's what I was doing. I was in the
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: middle of fucking nowhere. I don't know what that place
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: was called Akito's. Akito's was the town we flew to
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: from Peru. We flew into what's the big Lima, Lima Lima,
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: flew into Lima, and then we went to Akitos. I
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: wouldn't recommend the shaman that I used for my ayahuasca journey,
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: just so you know, I would do some research. I mean,
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: there's so many shamans in Peru and you go and
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: you have a really authentic experience, but part of that
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: authenticity is being in the fucking woods and who knows
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: what's out there. You're in a jungle, you know what
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: I mean, Like you're in a rainforest, so you're gonna
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: be around Anaconda's. I didn't see anyone I was there,
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: But there's all sorts of lodges up and down. There's
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: there's tributaries all off the Amazon, and all of them
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: are offering different packages. So, like you, I would just
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: look it up. I wouldn't go to Ikedo's. I mean,
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: Akitos is a place you can go, but I wouldn't.
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: I don't even know the name of the lodge that
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: I went to. You, I'd have to look that up,
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: but I wouldn't recommend that. I would find a group
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: ceremony where you're gonna be with other tourists that are
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: also doing that.
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and for people who are like considering it as well.
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: Everyone I know who's done it and hasn't gone to
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: Peru is like, yeah, i'd kind of like a not
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: great experience or it wasn't like the full deal. So
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: you know, don't do it in La maybe or New
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: York or whatever. Just like go where you're supposed to go. Yeah, yeah,
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: Well our last question comes from Sophia, So Sophia says,
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: dear Chelsea.
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: I live in Denmark.
• 6:04
  Speaker 3: I've been married for two years, together for four and
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: my wife and I are now in the fertility process.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: We've been trying for a few months now. She's doing
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: the IUI.
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: It's been unsuccessful so far, and this is our fifth
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: attempt and the next one will be IBF. What I
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: want advice on is getting another dog. A little background
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: on us. I'm obsessed with dogs, and when I met
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: my wife, we each had our own dog. I had Leelu,
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: a long haired sharpay, and we had an incredibly special bond.
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: She passed away some months ago. Her absence has changed
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: me in a way. Literally the same week she passed away,
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: we had our first appointment at the fertility clinic, so
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: we had a really rocky start to the whole process.
• 6:38
  Speaker 3: Now we only have one dog, originally my wife's dog, Frida,
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: a small Maltese. She's a great dog and I love her,
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: but she's always going to be my wife's dog.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: I really want to have another dog.
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: I crave it, but my wife is so happy with
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: how things are now, focusing on the coming pregnancy.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: I know that dealing with just one dog is way easier.
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: And I guess she's just not into raising a puppy
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: at this time. But if not now, it probably won't
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: be for a year or two, what with the baby.
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: In all, I know that logically now is probably not
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: the best time, but for some reason I don't care,
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: or this need is just bigger. How can I convince
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: my wife? Or do you think I should just put
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: aside my needs and wait? Thanks so much for an
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: amazing podcast, Sophia.
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: I mean I would just get a fucking dog, you
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: know what I mean? Yeah, I mean, I listen, you
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: can't really get a dog unless your partner agrees to it.
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: But I totally get it. I mean, dogs just make
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: the house more fun. Everything's better with dogs. So I
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: don't know, I don't have an answer.
• 7:29
  Speaker 4: I don't know. It depends.
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: No, I think that's a good answer, and I agree.
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: I think, like, especially when you've had like a big, meaty,
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: sharpai like a Maltese is cute, but it's not like
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: the kind of dog maybe she connects with. And I
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: will also say, even if your wife is pregnant tomorrow,
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: you have nine months. I will also say, maybe it's
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: not time for a puppy. Maybe you just like skip
• 7:47
  Speaker 3: the potty training portion. Like get a dog that's.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: Six months or a year old and like it's already trained.
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: Even if you're getting a dog that's like a couple
• 7:54
  Speaker 3: of years old, it's great because then they've got a
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: little life under them. They like to nap a little
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: bit more. I know, I don't know if I'm ever
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: gonna do puppy stage again. It really took it out
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: of me. When we did puppy stage with.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: Our twin puppies that we have right now, there was six.
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: Months that once it was done, just from all the
• 8:11
  Speaker 3: putty training and all the training and all the like
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: little puppy stuff that you have to do. I was like,
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: I that was maybe a bad mental health six months.
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: So maybe not a puppy. But if you get a
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: bigger dog, then you're like ready to roll right into motherhood.
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: Like Doug.
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: I got Doug and he was nine months old. He's
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: a fucking hot mess though, but he's a beautiful hot mess.
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: Doug is such cool. So you should have seen him
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: in the woods yesterday running through the woods.
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: He got the zuomies.
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: Inside of the zuomies, he had the zuomies and then
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: he got a double whammy zoomie, so he was he
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: didn't know which.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: Way to turn.
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: He was flying through the woods like a giant running squirrel,
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: like he was airborne. I'm like, he's gonna impale himself anyway.
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: I would always just add to the collection of dogs.
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: But you know, if you do, have to get your
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: wife's approval, So get.
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: A little matenance dog that's already trained and like your
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: wife will get on board.
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: It'll be fain here you go. All right, Well that's
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: all we've got for today.
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: Okay, thanks for listening, guys.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: We'll see you later.
• 9:07
  Speaker 4: Bye Catherine, Bye, do do do do do, drum roll Catherine,
• 9:13
  Speaker 4: please and abroad broad is my European tour.
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: So I'm coming to obviously find a husband abroad. I
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: need to get the health out of this fucking country
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: and it's not as easy as you think. So I'm
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: coming at Rekuvik, I'm coming at the UK. I'm coming
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: to Brussels, Paris, Belfast.
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: In May and June.
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: I'm coming to Oslo, Stockholm, to Copenhagen, Manchester, London, Glasgow,
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: New Zurich, Vienna. I've never ever been to Vienna, Berlin,
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: Barcelona and Lisbon. I'm coming abroad is abroad.
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: That sounds like fun. I'm going to go see you abroad.
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: I know I want to go see me abroad and
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: there all be there, all be excellent. Okay. My remaining
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: dates for Vegas, there are remaining dates for this year.
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: Summertime is coming and I will be in Vegas at
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: the Cosmo doing my residency on July fifth. We will
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: be the next date that I'm there July fifth, August thirtieth,
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: and then November one and twenty ninth. November first and
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: November twenty ninth, I will be in Las Vegas at
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: the Cosmo performing inside Myself at the Chelsea. It's called
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: Chelsea at the Chelsea.
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: For a reason. Okay, thank you. Do you want advice
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: from Chelsea?
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: Right into Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot com. Find
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: at Dear Chelsea pod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered
• 10:46
  Speaker 3: by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine law And be sure
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot com