Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / Dirty Rush: Schools out for Summer, but Will Your Relationship Survive???

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Dirty Rush: Schools out for Summer, but Will Your Relationship Survive??? · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

0:01
Speaker 1: Welcome to Dirty Rush, The Truth about Sorority life with
0:04
Speaker 1: your hosts me Gia Judice.
0:06
Speaker 2: Daisy Kent, and Jennifer Kessler. Welcome back to another episode
0:12
Speaker 2: of Dirty Rush. I'm Daisy Kent, and today I'm joined
0:16
Speaker 2: by Jason Mesnik. We're here to talk all things dating
0:20
Speaker 2: and to find out will sorority situationship survive this summer. Well,
0:25
Speaker 2: we're taking calls from sorority girls to hear their best
0:28
Speaker 2: and worst sorority situationship stories and giving relationship advice. Okay, so, Jason,
0:34
Speaker 2: I know you went to the University of Washington, right,
0:38
Speaker 2: What was the dating scene like there when you were there.
0:43
Speaker 3: So back in nineteen forty five. No, it's funny, like
0:48
Speaker 3: I just thinking about this conversation and putting myself into
0:55
Speaker 3: like maybe the listener's eyes or ears. I probably was
0:59
Speaker 3: the one who's played the most the dating scene. Like
1:02
Speaker 3: I was in a fraternity for two years and eventually,
1:04
Speaker 3: you know, I had a job outside of that, so
1:06
Speaker 3: I could I did live in more than two years.
1:09
Speaker 3: But my recollection through all that is most people in
1:12
Speaker 3: the Greek system date people in the Greek system, and
1:15
Speaker 3: those who escaped that may have may or may not
1:18
Speaker 3: have been happier at the end of the day, but
1:22
Speaker 3: like it's it's like I have a lot of good
1:23
Speaker 3: memories from it.
1:25
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's awesome. I remember because so I went to
1:27
Speaker 2: San Diego State and I remember I was in a
1:30
Speaker 2: sorority and the dating scene it was like what you
1:34
Speaker 2: were saying, like, I feel like everyone in Greek life
1:36
Speaker 2: dated people in Greek life. And then I remember it
1:41
Speaker 2: was always like drama and stuff when people like broke
1:44
Speaker 2: up because then like the guy would start talking to
1:48
Speaker 2: a girl in like like rivalry sorority talking to a
1:53
Speaker 2: guy in like a rivalry fat So I remember just
1:56
Speaker 2: being like all this drama and chaos, but it was
1:59
Speaker 2: also like so fun.
2:01
Speaker 3: Well somehow for me it feels like it wasn't that
2:03
Speaker 3: long ago. But I've got a son who's in a
2:05
Speaker 3: fraternity now in watching and he's a good kid, don't
2:08
Speaker 3: get me wrong. Like he had a girlfriend going into
2:10
Speaker 3: college and then they kind of dated her on and
2:13
Speaker 3: off a little bit at the beginning. But now the
2:15
Speaker 3: stage he's in, well, OK, let's say it. For the
2:17
Speaker 3: about a year and a half, he was like, I
2:19
Speaker 3: don't want a girlfriend. I've been through too much drama.
2:22
Speaker 3: So I think he was playing the field for a
2:23
Speaker 3: little bit, but I think after a couple of years
2:25
Speaker 3: and now he's going to be a senior next year
2:27
Speaker 3: all of a sudden, like maybe it just takes a
2:29
Speaker 3: while for us dudes to grow up. But I was
2:32
Speaker 3: probably the same way. But I'm seeing it again firsthand.
2:35
Speaker 2: That's so funny. I bet that's like fun to like
2:38
Speaker 2: look back on and also like watch him like experience
2:41
Speaker 2: at all.
2:42
Speaker 3: The funny thing that I think about is and it's
2:43
Speaker 3: not even the dating piece, Like he's twenty one now,
2:46
Speaker 3: but right before he turned twenty one, he was like, hey, dad,
2:49
Speaker 3: can you start buying? Bring me a couple of gallons
2:51
Speaker 3: of vodka? And I'm like, well, hold on, bro, like
2:54
Speaker 3: one thing like you when you could wait two weeks
2:57
Speaker 3: and two like heck no, no, not like a beer,
3:01
Speaker 3: but like handles of vodka.
3:03
Speaker 2: That's hilarious. I remember when I moved into college too,
3:06
Speaker 2: like my I was honestly very lucky, me and my
3:10
Speaker 2: roommate because her older brother was a senior at the time,
3:14
Speaker 2: and so he would come like drop us off alcohol
3:16
Speaker 2: at our dorm run and you would like have them
3:19
Speaker 2: in like hydro flasks, like the big like hydros. Oh yeah,
3:23
Speaker 2: just like bring it up in that.
3:24
Speaker 3: But like, so when you in your in your sorority though,
3:28
Speaker 3: did you were you in a sority where like you
3:30
Speaker 3: didn't live in first, like you lived in the dorms
3:32
Speaker 3: at first, and then you eventually moved in or were
3:34
Speaker 3: you in the sorority right away?
3:35
Speaker 2: Yeah? So I lived in the dorms freshman year. Sophomore
3:38
Speaker 2: year I lived on like an on campus apartment because
3:41
Speaker 2: I was out of state and had to live in
3:43
Speaker 2: or live on campus. And then junior year, I lived
3:46
Speaker 2: in the sorority house for like the sororities at SCSU
3:50
Speaker 2: at the time, it was like some girls, like a
3:52
Speaker 2: few girls lived in when they were sophomores, but then
3:55
Speaker 2: like everyone lived in when a lot of girls lived
3:58
Speaker 2: in when they were juniors. But then I went abroad
4:01
Speaker 2: my junior second semester. But I loved living in the house.
4:04
Speaker 2: It was like so much fun. And then senior year,
4:07
Speaker 2: everybody moves to Pacific Beach.
4:10
Speaker 3: Oh that sounds terrible. Yeah, you got to move to Pacific. Yeah,
4:16
Speaker 3: but I think they're all so different, Like I think
4:18
Speaker 3: about it. Like Molly, my wife, so she went to
4:20
Speaker 3: Indiana and she's like, there were two hundred people in
4:22
Speaker 3: her sorority. And I thought our fraternities and sororities were big.
4:26
Speaker 3: They had about one hundred, but I'm like thinking double
4:29
Speaker 3: the size. It's like an elementary school. You don't even
4:31
Speaker 3: know half the people or it seems like that.
4:33
Speaker 2: No, that is it's like so crazy. I remember I
4:35
Speaker 2: knew everyone pretty much. I want to say ours was
4:38
Speaker 2: like probably around that size, maybe a little bigger. But
4:42
Speaker 2: as we got like older, people like dwindled out. I
4:45
Speaker 2: felt like. But I remember, I think like my pledge
4:49
Speaker 2: class was like seventyish girls.
4:52
Speaker 3: That's yeah, so you busted me because I meant ours
4:54
Speaker 3: was probably half that we had. Yeah, you probably had
4:56
Speaker 3: two hundred people.
4:57
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I could be wrong, but I think
4:59
Speaker 2: it was like seventy. But then I know, like, yeah,
5:03
Speaker 2: as we got older, it dwindled down. But I knew
5:06
Speaker 2: everyone pretty much, like in my pledge class, and I
5:09
Speaker 2: feel like half in the grade above and half in
5:11
Speaker 2: the grade below.
5:12
Speaker 3: Oh gotcha? Yeah, do you have so you have good
5:15
Speaker 3: memories of it?
5:16
Speaker 4: Yeah?
5:17
Speaker 1: I do.
5:17
Speaker 2: I also actually so my fiance now Thor, we actually
5:21
Speaker 2: dated when we were in college and he was in
5:24
Speaker 2: one of the frats.
5:25
Speaker 3: Did you date early on in college with him?
5:28
Speaker 5: Or so?
5:29
Speaker 2: We were like best friends. So we moved into the
5:32
Speaker 2: dorm and I was on a co ed floor in
5:35
Speaker 2: the dorm, and then we shared like a wall, like
5:39
Speaker 2: right next to him was him and my friend Alex.
5:42
Speaker 2: So they became like my really good guy friends, and
5:45
Speaker 2: then we were just friends. And then the like end
5:48
Speaker 2: of our sophomore year beginning of junior year, we dated.
5:51
Speaker 3: Did you ever ask him if he wanted to date earlier?
5:54
Speaker 3: He's like, yeah, I want to be friends with this
5:55
Speaker 3: really pretty girl. It'd be really cool to be just
5:57
Speaker 3: friends with her.
5:59
Speaker 2: I mean, no, not.
6:01
Speaker 3: I'd be curious what he says.
6:03
Speaker 2: Yeah, I should ask him. But I mean one time,
6:05
Speaker 2: like freshman year, he tried to kiss me and I.
6:08
Speaker 3: Was like, what, see he wanted something?
6:11
Speaker 4: I was Yeah, I was.
6:12
Speaker 2: Like really confused. But then we like dated for a
6:15
Speaker 2: while but then went back to being friends. But it
6:17
Speaker 2: was kind of funny too because I remember, like freshman year,
6:21
Speaker 2: we were such good friends, and like he was in
6:23
Speaker 2: SIGAP and I was in Alpha FE and that was
6:25
Speaker 2: like one of the like frats and sororities that always
6:28
Speaker 2: hung out together. But I remember like just because like
6:31
Speaker 2: we lived next door to them, so like a lot
6:33
Speaker 2: of the guys would always come over there, and like
6:35
Speaker 2: when they would go to the frat house, like be
6:36
Speaker 2: in my roommate Christy would go with them, so we
6:38
Speaker 2: got to see like a lot of the drama and
6:40
Speaker 2: the things that were happening. And I remember like learning
6:45
Speaker 2: that like older girls were like hooking up with some
6:48
Speaker 2: of the like freshman guys, and me and Christy felt
6:51
Speaker 2: like we knew like all the tea about it. But
6:55
Speaker 2: it's just like such like or like it's such a
6:59
Speaker 2: funny like atmosphere, like the whole frat and sorority thing.
7:03
Speaker 2: But it's like, I'm so happy I did it. It
7:04
Speaker 2: was so fun.
7:05
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean you just meet so many really good people,
7:08
Speaker 3: Like I always people always ask me, at least through
7:10
Speaker 3: the years, they're like, so, did you like everybody? I'm like,
7:12
Speaker 3: I don't know. It feels like it's like any group
7:14
Speaker 3: of people. There's people that you really like, there's people
7:16
Speaker 3: you don't really know or don't really care, and then
7:18
Speaker 3: there's people you just don't get along with. But in general,
7:21
Speaker 3: it's just a really cool atmosphere.
7:24
Speaker 2: Yeah. For sure, And I feel like college two is
7:25
Speaker 2: such an interesting time because it's the first time you're
7:27
Speaker 2: kind of like completely on your own, like away from
7:30
Speaker 2: your parents, and it's like so I feel like you're
7:34
Speaker 2: all like bonding and like learning together, which is really cool.
7:37
Speaker 3: I just think about being a freshman and going in
7:39
Speaker 3: there and it's your really first experience. Like maybe you
7:42
Speaker 3: were independent, you at a job in high school and
7:44
Speaker 3: all that kind of stuff, but you're out on your own.
7:46
Speaker 3: You could do what you want, you can stay up
7:48
Speaker 3: as late as you want, you can drink as much
7:49
Speaker 3: as you want, you literally whoever you want. Just that
7:53
Speaker 3: freedom is so like intoxicating it first.
7:57
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like so fun. It's like terrifying, like for me,
8:00
Speaker 2: Like I remember it because my two younger siblings, so
8:02
Speaker 2: they're like five and six years younger than me, and
8:04
Speaker 2: I remember when they were going to college. I was like, wait,
8:06
Speaker 2: I'm kind of worried. I'm like, it's just it's so
8:13
Speaker 2: like different but so fun.
8:15
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like it's just funny going it's just funny going
8:17
Speaker 3: through it again. And like like I know the sororities
8:20
Speaker 3: don't do as much as are any of the hazing stuff,
8:22
Speaker 3: but even on the flip side, like I'm sure you
8:24
Speaker 3: talked to Thor about this at some point, and seeing
8:26
Speaker 3: my son go through all this stuff with initiation week
8:30
Speaker 3: and all that kind of stuff, Like did that ever
8:32
Speaker 3: come up with? Like do girls ever talk about that
8:34
Speaker 3: when they know the guys are going through it?
8:37
Speaker 2: I mean, I feel like when I was like a
8:40
Speaker 2: freshman and like going through like recruitment and in my sorority,
8:43
Speaker 2: I mean girls like you don't, I mean you have
8:45
Speaker 2: like big little but like I remember the guys just
8:48
Speaker 2: being like so tired all the time, and like a
8:50
Speaker 2: lot of my guy friends had to get up like
8:52
Speaker 2: I feel like theirs was more like mentally hard, and
8:54
Speaker 2: they would have to get up at like four or
8:57
Speaker 2: five am and go like run this hill that was
9:00
Speaker 2: right by our campus like every morning or something for
9:03
Speaker 2: like a month, and it was like a pretty like tall.
9:06
Speaker 3: I wonder, iful, I guess I've always wonder if the
9:08
Speaker 3: girls felt bad or they're like those guys are so
9:10
Speaker 3: dumb they would go through this.
9:12
Speaker 2: I think I didn't really realize at the time, like
9:14
Speaker 2: what it was like all like entailing, and then as
9:18
Speaker 2: like time went on, I was like, oh, really, like
9:20
Speaker 2: you guys had to do that.
9:22
Speaker 3: So yeah, like ours was probably pretty same too, But
9:25
Speaker 3: like the worst thing was like you started off and
9:26
Speaker 3: it's you know, I don't even think it was a
9:28
Speaker 3: full week. It was like five or six days. You
9:30
Speaker 3: kind of lay on the ground. You're in this room
9:32
Speaker 3: in the basement, and they add you bring us cardboard
9:34
Speaker 3: box that you'd sleep on.
9:36
Speaker 1: First.
9:36
Speaker 3: The first night you sleep inside this giant cardboard box,
9:39
Speaker 3: but they played me the music like at full blast,
9:41
Speaker 3: like bouncing off the walls, so you can't sleep. And
9:44
Speaker 3: then the next night they're like, well, it's gonna get worse,
9:46
Speaker 3: so you gotta like they break down the cardboard box.
9:48
Speaker 3: You sleep on top of the cardboard box, and then
9:50
Speaker 3: do the same thing again with the music loud, and
9:52
Speaker 3: eventually you're just sleeping on like a little slip of paper,
9:55
Speaker 3: like on a hardwood floor, like and you just can't sleep.
9:57
Speaker 3: And I think I do think that the worst part
9:59
Speaker 3: of as the lack of sleep. But I just always
10:01
Speaker 3: wondered what the girls thought.
10:03
Speaker 2: Yeah, No, I feel like I remember like looking at
10:06
Speaker 2: some of my like family friends that are like younger
10:09
Speaker 2: and stuff when they would come back, and I was like,
10:12
Speaker 2: how's like recruit or rush going and they were like,
10:14
Speaker 2: it's okay, okay, so we have Finley on right now.
10:21
Speaker 2: Thanks for coming on, Finley.
10:22
Speaker 6: Of course, of course, thanks for having me.
10:25
Speaker 2: You're just telling us you graduated from UC Berkeley, right, Yes,
10:28
Speaker 2: I did. How was it there, Like, what was the
10:32
Speaker 2: dating scene?
10:33
Speaker 6: Like, oh my gosh, it's definitely different. Like it's I
10:39
Speaker 6: would say, like if you were in a Greek life,
10:40
Speaker 6: like you kind of dated within Greek life and if
10:43
Speaker 6: you were like an athlete, you were kind of dating
10:46
Speaker 6: within the athletes, and so like I did both. I
10:48
Speaker 6: was an athlete and on Greek life. But it I mean,
10:54
Speaker 6: I feel like the dating scene honestly, all my friends
10:57
Speaker 6: that I was close with were single for most of it,
10:59
Speaker 6: so it was kind of dry.
11:02
Speaker 3: But well, what about when somebody was an athlete and
11:04
Speaker 3: in the Greek life, can you double dip?
11:07
Speaker 6: Yeah, you can definitely double dip, and so, like I
11:12
Speaker 6: probably it was more into like the athlete scene, but like,
11:15
Speaker 6: you definitely can go into both, and I have friends
11:18
Speaker 6: that did both. So yeah, it's kind of your preference,
11:21
Speaker 6: I guess.
11:22
Speaker 2: But okay, cool, did you date anyone like while you were.
11:25
Speaker 6: At the school not from Berkeley, No, okay, cool, but.
11:29
Speaker 3: You date people from other schools just not your own school.
11:33
Speaker 6: Yeah, I was like seeing people from other schools, but
11:37
Speaker 6: I was like anti seeing anyone from Berkeley.
11:40
Speaker 2: So that's so funny.
11:43
Speaker 3: So that was intentional. You didn't want to date and
11:45
Speaker 3: wait from Berkeley.
11:46
Speaker 6: It was like unintentional, and then I realized, like in
11:49
Speaker 6: the back of my mind, I was like, wait, no,
11:51
Speaker 6: this is totally intentional.
11:52
Speaker 2: So yeah, when I don't want to see you, like
11:56
Speaker 2: I don't want to have.
11:57
Speaker 6: To I don't have to see you, and it's so nice.
12:00
Speaker 6: And then they're like they're on FaceTime if you like
12:02
Speaker 6: feel like calling them, but yeah.
12:04
Speaker 2: That's okay. So like, now are you open to dating?
12:08
Speaker 2: Are you dating?
12:10
Speaker 6: I need to? Like, I am totally open. I'm super
12:14
Speaker 6: single right now. And so I'm like, how am I
12:17
Speaker 6: supposed to find someone postgrad? Like what what do we do?
12:21
Speaker 3: Go on the Bachelor, Daisy?
12:25
Speaker 4: Like you never know?
12:26
Speaker 6: I know, you never know. That's hilarious.
12:29
Speaker 3: So do you use dating apps? Like if you don't know? Like, like,
12:32
Speaker 3: what's what are your friends do?
12:35
Speaker 1: We?
12:35
Speaker 6: Like, I've tried the dating apps, my friends have tried
12:37
Speaker 6: the dating apps, and personally I hate it. I hate it.
12:40
Speaker 6: I hate it. I feel like it's so superficial. The
12:43
Speaker 6: people that I've met on there, It's like I've been
12:46
Speaker 6: catfish before. And I'm like, I just am like I'm done.
12:49
Speaker 6: I can't do it. I don't want to do it.
12:50
Speaker 6: So I'm like, what do am I meeting these people
12:53
Speaker 6: at bars? Is it like friends? Friends?
12:55
Speaker 1: Like?
12:55
Speaker 6: What are people? What's the magic key to postgrad because
12:59
Speaker 6: clearly I haven't found it?
13:01
Speaker 2: Okay, so I think so. I Actually I was on
13:05
Speaker 2: Hinge for like a while, like prior Bachelor, I did it,
13:10
Speaker 2: and I would go on like Hinge dates. I agree
13:13
Speaker 2: with you about the like dating apps and stuff. I
13:16
Speaker 2: do know a couple of people who have like met
13:18
Speaker 2: their like forever person and are now married or engage them.
13:21
Speaker 2: But I would say I feel like the dating apps
13:24
Speaker 2: are like good, just like if you want to start
13:26
Speaker 2: dating and like go on random dates and they can
13:28
Speaker 2: give you really good stories and they're really funny. But
13:30
Speaker 2: I feel like a lot of my friends like have
13:33
Speaker 2: met people honestly, like when they're at work things, which
13:39
Speaker 2: like not somebody that works for like the company, like
13:42
Speaker 2: my best friends who my best friend who's getting married
13:44
Speaker 2: in October, like she was like worked in San Francisco,
13:48
Speaker 2: and then she was out in New York for work
13:50
Speaker 2: and met this guy who's like also in finance, but
13:54
Speaker 2: was like working at a different place and it was
13:56
Speaker 2: just like a happy hour thing. And then my other friend.
14:00
Speaker 2: I feel like, friends, where do you live? Are you selling?
14:03
Speaker 2: Like San Francisco, California? Like San Pedro, like Pallasford's area.
14:08
Speaker 2: Oh okay, cool, Yeah, I feel like a lot of
14:11
Speaker 2: my friends. I've actually been setting up my one Like,
14:14
Speaker 2: so my fiance has a friend that's like in LA,
14:18
Speaker 2: and then a couple of my girlfriends are in LA.
14:20
Speaker 2: So we've been like setting them up. So I feel
14:22
Speaker 2: like a friend, like giving them plug is always good.
14:25
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's what I was hoping for, is like I
14:28
Speaker 6: need to start planning the seat of my friends. You're like,
14:30
Speaker 6: let's get something new.
14:32
Speaker 3: So coming from like the coming from like the big
14:34
Speaker 3: brother side of things. Are you? Are you a like
14:37
Speaker 3: a risk taker.
14:40
Speaker 6: Risk taker and like career and like socially, But I
14:46
Speaker 6: don't know, I've never like really taken big risks in dating.
14:49
Speaker 3: So well, I'm just wondering, like I think, like from
14:51
Speaker 3: my like being like out of the dating world for
14:54
Speaker 3: so long and what I would do, and I think
14:56
Speaker 3: this happened, Like so I was married before and then
14:59
Speaker 3: got divorced, and I like, you know what, I don't
15:01
Speaker 3: care anymore. I'm gonna ask out anybody and if they
15:04
Speaker 3: say no, the worst thing they're going to do is
15:06
Speaker 3: say no. And then like I think, like as as
15:08
Speaker 3: I got you know, more great here, I think, uh,
15:13
Speaker 3: I think like I just learned that, like it didn't
15:16
Speaker 3: matter what people thought. And I'm just wondering if like
15:19
Speaker 3: if you put yourself in ten years from now or
15:21
Speaker 3: whatever eight years from now, what would you tell yourself
15:24
Speaker 3: to do, and if you could put your like putting
15:25
Speaker 3: yourself out there might be like whatever sport used to play,
15:28
Speaker 3: getting on another softball, volleyball, what you know, yeah, something
15:34
Speaker 3: like that, just finding a way to meet more people. Yeah,
15:38
Speaker 3: and then you then you'll probably get set up somehow.
15:40
Speaker 3: Like yeah, like you're saying, okay, but that takes a risk,
15:44
Speaker 3: you know, that's like that's putting yourself out there and
15:46
Speaker 3: being really uncomfortable.
15:48
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, oh yeah, well I can talk to brick Wall,
15:51
Speaker 6: So I'm like, honestly, maybe I could just do that.
15:53
Speaker 2: So yeah, that you should just like go for it
15:56
Speaker 2: even if like you're out like at the bar or whatever,
15:59
Speaker 2: just like going up to like random guys. I feel
16:01
Speaker 2: like I remember me and my best friend, like you
16:04
Speaker 2: used to This is gonna sound crazy when we were
16:07
Speaker 2: both like very very single. We used to like make
16:09
Speaker 2: bets about like who could talk to the most guys
16:12
Speaker 2: in one night.
16:13
Speaker 6: But I kind of love it.
16:14
Speaker 2: Though it's crazy, but it was like so fun and
16:18
Speaker 2: we met so many people.
16:20
Speaker 6: Wait, I love it. That's a good idea.
16:22
Speaker 3: You should. That's like, that's a good way to do.
16:23
Speaker 3: That's a fun game.
16:24
Speaker 6: I know. Give me to spice it up.
16:26
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I think just opening yourself up to more
16:30
Speaker 3: and more people, Like you know, it's so easy to
16:32
Speaker 3: get frustrated or uncomfortable or bummed out and whatnot. But
16:37
Speaker 3: I think when you put yourself out there, and regardless
16:39
Speaker 3: of what it is with through sports or volleyball or
16:41
Speaker 3: bars or whatever, you're gonna meet some people in it
16:43
Speaker 3: and hopefully at least they'll make you laugh and have
16:46
Speaker 3: a good time. In best case scenario, maybe meet somebody.
16:49
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, totally do you. I guess like people are like, oh,
16:54
Speaker 6: it happens organically, and it just happens when it happens,
16:57
Speaker 6: but like, at what point do you stop waiting for
16:58
Speaker 6: it to happen organically or just like I'm just gonna
17:01
Speaker 6: go for it.
17:02
Speaker 2: Yeah, I like think, like I do believe like it
17:04
Speaker 2: happens when it's meant to happen. But I also think
17:06
Speaker 2: that there's like a huge part of it of putting
17:09
Speaker 2: yourself out there.
17:10
Speaker 5: Right.
17:11
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm like you, I'm like, screw it, just go
17:15
Speaker 3: I mean I remember, I remember when it first hit me.
17:17
Speaker 3: I was in a park I was in a parking
17:19
Speaker 3: garage in Seattle, and this is right after my ex
17:21
Speaker 3: and I split up, and I was like, she's cute.
17:24
Speaker 3: Screw it. And when I you know, I didn't end
17:27
Speaker 3: up being like, we didn't date long, but we went
17:29
Speaker 3: on a handful of dates and it was super fun.
17:31
Speaker 3: And yeah, I don't think it can hurt. I mean,
17:34
Speaker 3: the worst thing somebody's gonna say is like, nobod's gonna
17:36
Speaker 3: say no to you unless they have a boyfriend or
17:38
Speaker 3: girlfriend whatever.
17:40
Speaker 6: Yeah, makes sense, why not do mantra go for it?
17:44
Speaker 3: Just go for it, HEARTYDM.
17:48
Speaker 2: Yeah, honestly, Well, thank you so much Finling for coming on.
17:51
Speaker 2: It was great chatting with you, and I thank loving me,
17:55
Speaker 2: lots of love in the future.
17:57
Speaker 6: Hopefully fingers crossed. Thank you guys.
18:00
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, guys, So we have ava on and now
18:18
Speaker 2: nice to meet you, Eva.
18:20
Speaker 4: Nice to meet you. I live in Berkeley.
18:24
Speaker 2: Did you graduate or still in school?
18:26
Speaker 4: I'm still in school, so I'm going to go into
18:27
Speaker 4: my junior junior year next year.
18:30
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, so fun.
18:32
Speaker 4: And are you dating?
18:33
Speaker 2: Are you single?
18:35
Speaker 1: It's complicated, Okay, for listen, So I am single, but
18:42
Speaker 1: I have been seeing the same guy for it's been
18:45
Speaker 1: a little over like two months now, and.
18:49
Speaker 4: You're recently technically exclusive. So whatever that means, Well, that's exciting.
19:00
Speaker 3: Well why is that complicated?
19:02
Speaker 1: I think we haven't really talked about what that means.
19:08
Speaker 1: And I don't think I want to be in a relationship, Okay,
19:14
Speaker 1: And I've always thought that the term exclusive was like
19:19
Speaker 1: kind of stupid, honestly, But now that I'm in this situation,
19:24
Speaker 1: I can see why, because I always thought it was
19:27
Speaker 1: more of a cop out. Yeah, but now I'm the
19:31
Speaker 1: one who doesn't really want to be in a relationship.
19:35
Speaker 3: Did you think he has any clue?
19:37
Speaker 1: I don't know, But I also don't know if he
19:40
Speaker 1: would be interested in being in a committed relationship.
19:44
Speaker 2: Yeah, so like would you be upset, Like, well, you're exclusive,
19:49
Speaker 2: so like you wouldn't want him to like date another girl.
19:52
Speaker 4: Right exactly. So we basically we didn't even use the
19:58
Speaker 4: word exclusive, but.
20:01
Speaker 1: We were kind of joking about it all the time,
20:05
Speaker 1: like just making jokes about not wanting each other to
20:08
Speaker 1: like see other people.
20:10
Speaker 4: Yeah, But then one day we.
20:12
Speaker 1: Actually like talked about it and we're like, okay, like
20:15
Speaker 1: it would make me really uncomfortable, would make you uncomfortable
20:17
Speaker 1: if we were like intimate in any way at all
20:20
Speaker 1: with somebody else? And that was kind of all we said.
20:25
Speaker 1: But it is interesting because it's the summer. We're spending
20:29
Speaker 1: a lot of time together. A lot of my roommates
20:31
Speaker 1: and friends are gone for the summer, and I'm staying
20:35
Speaker 1: your school and he's also here, so we're spending a
20:38
Speaker 1: lot of time together and.
20:41
Speaker 4: I think that complicates things too.
20:45
Speaker 3: Is there anything to do with is that? Are you
20:47
Speaker 3: spending more time because it's convenient or because you actually
20:51
Speaker 3: really like him? Obviously you don't want to be exclusive,
20:56
Speaker 3: but is it just a convenience?
20:57
Speaker 4: I think it's more than convenience.
20:59
Speaker 1: I definitely like spending time with him, you know, we
21:02
Speaker 1: always have a good time together. It's just I really
21:08
Speaker 1: like my independence, and I've only been in one relationship
21:13
Speaker 1: in my life. I'm twenty, and I feel like I'm
21:17
Speaker 1: just a busy girl.
21:18
Speaker 4: I have a lot of things going.
21:20
Speaker 1: I'm prettyious, and so I kind of have a fear
21:25
Speaker 1: that having a boyfriend will like hold me back.
21:30
Speaker 4: I also tend to not really trust a lot when
21:34
Speaker 4: guys are telling me things.
21:35
Speaker 1: So I think having that exclusive label is easier than
21:40
Speaker 1: allowing myself to jump into a full relationship.
21:44
Speaker 2: Yeah, that makes it. I feel like when you're in
21:47
Speaker 2: college too, like you have so much going on and
21:49
Speaker 2: like so much you want to do. But I also
21:51
Speaker 2: do think I think if it's like the last person
21:53
Speaker 2: for sure, then it won't make those things harder, Like
21:58
Speaker 2: in ways it can like help me get easier too.
22:00
Speaker 2: So if you end up liking him a lot and
22:04
Speaker 2: you want to date and he's on the same page,
22:06
Speaker 2: I don't think there's any harm in that.
22:08
Speaker 3: I'm wondering, like if you balanced out everything and if
22:11
Speaker 3: you're like the reason I don't want to be exclusive
22:13
Speaker 3: is because of my fear of whatever it is, projection
22:17
Speaker 3: or trust or whatever it is what if that wasn't
22:20
Speaker 3: would you if you didn't have that? And it's probably
22:21
Speaker 3: hard to put yourself in that position, Like if you
22:23
Speaker 3: didn't have that fear, do you think you would jump
22:26
Speaker 3: in more or you still think you would want your freedom?
22:29
Speaker 4: That's a good question. I think it's nuanced.
22:33
Speaker 1: I think that if I'm in a relationship, I want it.
22:37
Speaker 4: To be like a serious relationship.
22:39
Speaker 1: So I want to talk about deep things and really
22:43
Speaker 1: know the person and like love the person for who
22:45
Speaker 1: they are. And I think we currently are very shallow,
22:52
Speaker 1: and that's not necessarily a bad thing, but we've never
22:57
Speaker 1: We've had like one or two more serious like talks
23:03
Speaker 1: just related to what was going on in our lives
23:06
Speaker 1: that we like felt to share.
23:08
Speaker 4: But it's very shallow, and I like, I don't really know.
23:12
Speaker 1: His friends or his family, and I like to see
23:15
Speaker 1: the way people are with the people they love and
23:17
Speaker 1: like care about, and so I don't think I could
23:21
Speaker 1: get into relationship unless we actually started to get to
23:25
Speaker 1: know each other on.
23:25
Speaker 4: A deeper level.
23:27
Speaker 3: Are you curious?
23:28
Speaker 4: Yes?
23:28
Speaker 1: And no. I think it feels easier to not try
23:37
Speaker 1: and think about that too much and just let it
23:38
Speaker 1: be fun. But it is something I've thought about and like,
23:45
Speaker 1: especially with the summer, I want to continue seeing him.
23:48
Speaker 4: For the whole summer. I think he is too.
23:50
Speaker 1: We've talked about, you know, doing things for the rest
23:52
Speaker 1: of the summer, and I think it gets complicated when
23:57
Speaker 1: deciding to like end that and make it a fun
23:59
Speaker 1: some we are flying, you know, we had a good
24:01
Speaker 1: time together, we respect each other, and it mellows out,
24:05
Speaker 1: or if we do want to consider something serious, like
24:09
Speaker 1: how do we progress into that?
24:11
Speaker 4: So if you guys have advice.
24:12
Speaker 3: On where to move, how do you keep emotions out
24:15
Speaker 3: of that? Anytime that I've spent time with people like
24:17
Speaker 3: I remember this let's call her Jen in college that
24:21
Speaker 3: we spent a ton of time together over like a
24:24
Speaker 3: few few months period, and we never had those serious conversations,
24:28
Speaker 3: and all of a sudden, like somebody would say, hey,
24:30
Speaker 3: Sheeve's hanging out with John in another fraternity or anything.
24:33
Speaker 3: But after all this time, I started being building up
24:36
Speaker 3: these feelings. And maybe I'm just like a mushy feeling guy,
24:39
Speaker 3: but I'm just wondering, like, if you spend a whole
24:41
Speaker 3: summer to me, it just seems like either A you
24:45
Speaker 3: know it's good or B you're like, heck, no, Like,
24:48
Speaker 3: how do you prevent those feelings from happening? Don't they
24:51
Speaker 3: just happen? A M I just being dumb.
24:53
Speaker 2: I feel like they happen. I feel like they haven't
24:55
Speaker 2: for me. I feel like if you guys keep hanging out,
24:57
Speaker 2: I feel like it's just gonna get deeper deeper.
25:00
Speaker 3: And that's not bad either. Yeah, I know, as long
25:03
Speaker 3: as he's introduces you to his friends and family and
25:05
Speaker 3: people that so you can get to know him. Do
25:07
Speaker 3: you think he knows that you want that? Yeah, or
25:10
Speaker 3: that you wouldn't jump into a relationship unless you knew
25:13
Speaker 3: more about him and his world.
25:15
Speaker 4: I don't think he knows that.
25:16
Speaker 6: I do know.
25:18
Speaker 4: I've met a couple of his friends, but just very briefly.
25:24
Speaker 5: Yeah.
25:24
Speaker 1: And I am a pretty sensitive person, but I do
25:29
Speaker 1: tend to be very guarded when it.
25:32
Speaker 4: Comes to relationships.
25:34
Speaker 1: So I am very comfortable talking to like my friends
25:38
Speaker 1: about how I feel. I'm very introspective. I write my
25:42
Speaker 1: thoughts a lot, and I really overthink it. But when
25:45
Speaker 1: it comes to like telling a guy, I a lot
25:48
Speaker 1: of times just like leave it and said. And so
25:51
Speaker 1: I don't think he knows where I stand at all.
25:53
Speaker 1: But I also he hasn't opened up to me about
25:56
Speaker 1: what he thinks at all.
25:58
Speaker 3: So it's such a thing being like through all this
26:01
Speaker 3: stuff because like the way I think about it is
26:04
Speaker 3: like I don't care if like my I guess my mentality.
26:09
Speaker 3: I think you'll get there at some point hopefully, is
26:10
Speaker 3: like if it works out, he'll he'll accept me for
26:13
Speaker 3: what I want. And if it doesn't, and if he
26:14
Speaker 3: doesn't accept me, there's I don't know, at least four
26:17
Speaker 3: and a half billion other dudes out there that might
26:20
Speaker 3: accept me. I'm just like, do you think it's worth
26:23
Speaker 3: asking or are you okay just kind of playing the
26:25
Speaker 3: summer as it is.
26:26
Speaker 4: I think it's worth asking. I think he.
26:31
Speaker 1: Might like me more than I like him, and so
26:35
Speaker 1: I don't want to be the one to bring it
26:38
Speaker 1: up and then have him try to progress it quickly
26:42
Speaker 1: and me like kind of hold it back, like I
26:44
Speaker 1: don't think I should be the one bringing it up.
26:46
Speaker 4: But also that's just my interpretation. He could not want anything, So.
26:53
Speaker 2: I feel like you could like feel it out a
26:55
Speaker 2: little longer and then at some point I have that
26:57
Speaker 2: conversation because also like I mean, college is phone and
27:01
Speaker 2: it's good to have fun and like flings and stuff,
27:03
Speaker 2: but like you don't want to waste too much of
27:04
Speaker 2: your time if you're not that into it, and like
27:06
Speaker 2: also his but I need to, like we need to
27:12
Speaker 2: have you back on and like get an update at
27:14
Speaker 2: the end of summer.
27:15
Speaker 4: I would love too. I would love to.
27:17
Speaker 3: I feel like we want him on the show too.
27:21
Speaker 4: I mean, I'm seeing him later.
27:23
Speaker 3: I can get his opinion, get us a does he
27:26
Speaker 3: know you were doing this?
27:27
Speaker 4: Yeah? I told him about it.
27:29
Speaker 2: This is a great way to bring up the conversation.
27:31
Speaker 3: This is awesome. Didn't say it.
27:33
Speaker 4: I didn't tell him what it was about.
27:36
Speaker 3: You could say this older dude who'd been through this
27:39
Speaker 3: stuff has all these questions and put pen in on
27:42
Speaker 3: me for why you're asking these questions. Yes, perfect, I
27:46
Speaker 3: don't believe that dais. She's too sweet. Blame it on
27:48
Speaker 3: the old guy.
27:51
Speaker 4: Okay, sounds good. You could take all the blame totally.
27:54
Speaker 3: He can get hit me up on Instagram and yell
27:56
Speaker 3: at me all he wants, and I'll want to.
27:58
Speaker 1: Think, how do you think I should approach like talking
28:02
Speaker 1: about a sort of like what are we conversation?
28:04
Speaker 4: Or like where do we see this going?
28:06
Speaker 3: Well? I think it's almost the same thing, like if
28:08
Speaker 3: you could be like if I'm you, I'm almost like, Okay,
28:12
Speaker 3: I was on this podcast today and these two people
28:14
Speaker 3: have been to dating and you may have seen date.
28:17
Speaker 3: I'm too old, you wouldn't have seen me, but you
28:19
Speaker 3: would have seen seen the Bachelor, And like, they brought
28:22
Speaker 3: up something really interesting that I hadn't even thought about before.
28:25
Speaker 3: So I think it's almost like you're blaming us for everything,
28:28
Speaker 3: Like I haven't even thought about this because we're having
28:30
Speaker 3: so much fun. Blah blah blah blah blah, We're having
28:33
Speaker 3: so much fun. But you know what, it's crazy. What
28:35
Speaker 3: do you think maybe with less emphastists on the salables,
28:40
Speaker 3: but like a little more chill. But yeah, I think
28:44
Speaker 3: you'd like it. Just sparked, sparked a thought on you,
28:47
Speaker 3: sparked some thoughts in you.
28:50
Speaker 1: I think that's I think what I've kind of been
28:53
Speaker 1: planting scenes in his head is that my three best
28:58
Speaker 1: friends are going through their own sort of situations, all
29:02
Speaker 1: completely different, and so we will talk about that. And
29:07
Speaker 1: he's also like met there situationships, and so when we
29:16
Speaker 1: talk about their situationships, I get a little bit in
29:19
Speaker 1: his head about what he thinks about the way they're.
29:22
Speaker 4: Going about things. But that might be a little toxic
29:25
Speaker 4: of me.
29:26
Speaker 3: I don't know, no, I mean, but I think if
29:28
Speaker 3: you can be I think that's probably better than my idea.
29:31
Speaker 3: But I think if you're just almost like god, whatever
29:34
Speaker 3: your friend name is, Jenny's going through all this stuff,
29:36
Speaker 3: like what do you think? Like I almost like the
29:39
Speaker 3: idea of asking more questions versus like not like the
29:44
Speaker 3: type of questions like can we get more exclusive or
29:46
Speaker 3: not exclusive? Almost like what do you think about this stuff?
29:49
Speaker 3: Because then he'll innately. If you can get him opening
29:52
Speaker 3: up about one or two things, he'll probably open up
29:54
Speaker 3: about more things once it gets more comfortable.
29:57
Speaker 2: Yeah, totally. Well, we're gonna have to have you on
30:01
Speaker 2: back at the end of summer for a recap. But
30:04
Speaker 2: thank you so love that for coming on, and we're
30:08
Speaker 2: gonna have to You're gonna have to fill us in
30:11
Speaker 2: on how that's happens.
30:13
Speaker 4: I will thank you guys for having me on.
30:15
Speaker 1: And before I go, I have to say, Daisy, I
30:17
Speaker 1: am like a huge fan.
30:19
Speaker 4: I love The Bachelor and I love you in your season,
30:21
Speaker 4: so I'm fan growing a little bit trying to keep
30:24
Speaker 4: it in.
30:25
Speaker 2: Well, thank you so much for coming on. It was
30:27
Speaker 2: great to meet you.
30:28
Speaker 4: It was so great meeting you guys.
30:29
Speaker 3: Thank you, Thank you.
30:45
Speaker 2: Hello Georgia, nice to meet you.
30:49
Speaker 7: Nice to meet you. Thanks for having me.
30:52
Speaker 2: Okay, Georgia, So where are you from. Where do you
30:55
Speaker 2: go to school? Are you still in school?
30:57
Speaker 5: Yes, I'm actually about to go take my life last
31:00
Speaker 5: final ever of college.
31:02
Speaker 3: Oh congrats, Yeah, great school.
31:06
Speaker 7: I met cal Poly in San Luis, Fispo.
31:09
Speaker 3: Oh awesome.
31:10
Speaker 6: Yeah.
31:11
Speaker 5: So I know this is like you guys are this
31:14
Speaker 5: is like the Situationship episode?
31:16
Speaker 2: Right, So are you dating? Are you seeing anyone?
31:21
Speaker 1: So?
31:21
Speaker 5: I just actually on Friday said bye to a guy
31:26
Speaker 5: I was talking to in the grade below me.
31:28
Speaker 7: Actually, so I'm graduating.
31:31
Speaker 5: He left school a few weeks early to go to
31:34
Speaker 5: an internship in New York City. So that was like
31:40
Speaker 5: brought up in the first conversation we had when we
31:43
Speaker 5: met earlier this year.
31:44
Speaker 7: He was like, oh, yeah, like you.
31:45
Speaker 5: Know, and and then this summer, I have this internship
31:48
Speaker 5: in New York City and I'm going to leave school
31:49
Speaker 5: a little early. But that was like that seemed so
31:52
Speaker 5: far in the future that like I didn't think about it,
31:55
Speaker 5: and then it just like got really serious, really fast.
31:58
Speaker 7: And then all of a sudden, like on Friday, like
32:01
Speaker 7: saying bye.
32:01
Speaker 5: It was just like so drama and like it was
32:04
Speaker 5: like seemed like the biggest deal ever and like obviously
32:09
Speaker 5: coping with it super fresh. But I think that that
32:13
Speaker 5: was this like kind of a unique situation and the
32:16
Speaker 5: scheme of like the situationships I've have had.
32:20
Speaker 2: So was it like were you like by like we're
32:22
Speaker 2: done talking, We're not going to see each other, or
32:24
Speaker 2: was it like.
32:25
Speaker 5: Like yeah, because just I'm I'm going and moving to
32:30
Speaker 5: San Francisco, He's gonna come back here to school. We
32:34
Speaker 5: both actually like this was one of like the first
32:36
Speaker 5: kind of like bigger conversations we had. We just knew
32:40
Speaker 5: that like we weren't long distance people, like we both
32:45
Speaker 5: have done long distance relationships before, and I think it
32:48
Speaker 5: was like mature of us both to recognize, like I
32:51
Speaker 5: he's this is what he said, Like it brought out
32:54
Speaker 5: he was like it brought out parts of me that
32:56
Speaker 5: like I didn't really like, Like it brought out like
32:57
Speaker 5: jealousy and like I was or even become like controlling
33:01
Speaker 5: over my long distance girlfriend, and like I didn't like
33:03
Speaker 5: that side of me. And like I know that, like
33:06
Speaker 5: jealousy would totally also come into play, Like I'm at
33:09
Speaker 5: my new nine to five job and like I'm checking
33:12
Speaker 5: his location, like, oh, he's at the bars, like at
33:14
Speaker 5: my college bars. Like I just knew like that wasn't
33:17
Speaker 5: going to be good for my mental So.
33:19
Speaker 3: That's really mature just to even realize, like put that
33:22
Speaker 3: in the words yeah, because most people would just jump
33:25
Speaker 3: into it, you know, long distance relationships and be like yeah,
33:27
Speaker 3: we'll figure it out right, But to know your tendencies,
33:30
Speaker 3: that's that's pretty cool that you guys both are realizing that.
33:33
Speaker 7: Yeah.
33:34
Speaker 5: No, I was happy that he was able to like
33:37
Speaker 5: we were able to both kind of agree on that
33:39
Speaker 5: because like, for as good as it was, like they
33:41
Speaker 5: were genuinely like I think it was, it was like
33:43
Speaker 5: around a six month situationship, so we didn't really get
33:47
Speaker 5: to the point where we like could discover like the
33:51
Speaker 5: like bad parts yet, so it all, like in all
33:54
Speaker 5: was like so positive. Like I genuinely don't really have
33:56
Speaker 5: bad things to say about it, but I think that
34:01
Speaker 5: like this is what we actually said on Friday when
34:03
Speaker 5: we're saying bye, We're like this is like great, it's
34:04
Speaker 5: sending this way instead of like letting you know, if
34:07
Speaker 5: we were to do long distance and like try it,
34:11
Speaker 5: like we kind of know these bad things would get
34:14
Speaker 5: in the way.
34:15
Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure. And I feel like also too, like
34:17
Speaker 2: you ending like college and stuff and like going into
34:22
Speaker 2: like a job and like stuff like that, and then
34:26
Speaker 2: him still being at college, Like I feel like it
34:28
Speaker 2: will be a good like separation and then you never
34:31
Speaker 2: know like maybe in the future, you know what I mean.
34:34
Speaker 2: But I also don't wait on it, like you.
34:36
Speaker 8: Should go yeah, totally, yeah, I I'm hoping like yeah,
34:41
Speaker 8: like we never know and like never say never, but
34:44
Speaker 8: I'm I think, like I'm excited.
34:46
Speaker 7: I like it doesn't make me any.
34:48
Speaker 5: Less excited to like go start my new era too,
34:50
Speaker 5: Like it's totally sad, but oh for sure it.
34:53
Speaker 3: Sounds I mean it's like like I really think it's
34:56
Speaker 3: super mature. But is there any part of you that
34:58
Speaker 3: it's like what if?
35:00
Speaker 5: Oh for sure, Like I really like this guy, Like
35:04
Speaker 5: he was like especially like because I will say, like
35:07
Speaker 5: my prior situationships like my friends, and I would almost
35:10
Speaker 5: like laugh at how night and day. It was like
35:12
Speaker 5: he like checked boxes like I didn't even know existed
35:16
Speaker 5: for me, Like he was great.
35:17
Speaker 7: He truly was.
35:19
Speaker 5: So I think that there is a part of me
35:21
Speaker 5: that's like, oh my god, like of course, like this
35:25
Speaker 5: one time, like you know, I meet this guy and
35:28
Speaker 5: like he's like checking all these boxes that like I've
35:33
Speaker 5: always wanted.
35:33
Speaker 7: Like of course, I like like especially.
35:36
Speaker 5: This week and like with him being gone, I think
35:38
Speaker 5: it's like now when like five days like like yeah,
35:41
Speaker 5: I'm like playing that over in my head, like what
35:44
Speaker 5: if we just like tried and we we we established
35:48
Speaker 5: like we weren't gonna go no contact, like in a
35:51
Speaker 5: weird way, like that's just been almost harder because but yeah,
35:56
Speaker 5: I definitely have those what ifs for sure.
35:58
Speaker 3: Yeah, I totally get it, and like and I do
36:01
Speaker 3: think you guys are doing the mature thing. But there's
36:03
Speaker 3: also no right or wrong, right there are people that
36:06
Speaker 3: figure this stuff out. And if you were the one
36:08
Speaker 3: to say like after a month or two and you're
36:10
Speaker 3: like you know what, I'm kind of curious, like don't
36:14
Speaker 3: beat yourself up because there's no rule.
36:16
Speaker 2: Yeah.
36:17
Speaker 3: Yeah, I like like this whole like there's no especially
36:21
Speaker 3: in dating you're talking to people went on TV, like
36:24
Speaker 3: there's no black or white, Like I think dating is
36:27
Speaker 3: mostly in the gray. It's like how you meet somebody,
36:30
Speaker 3: what you do with them, if it's worth it, if
36:32
Speaker 3: it's not worth it, and you know, usually it doesn't
36:34
Speaker 3: work out right, Like you know what ninety five percent
36:38
Speaker 3: of the time is not going to work out. But
36:39
Speaker 3: what if this one is the possibility? I would keep
36:42
Speaker 3: yourself open to everything or and don't ignore those feelings,
36:47
Speaker 3: like like if they're real feelings, you know, don't I
36:50
Speaker 3: wouldn't sy ignore them. I'm not saying like stock him
36:52
Speaker 3: down again, but I would bet that he would be
36:55
Speaker 3: having similar feelings.
36:57
Speaker 7: Yeah, that's like, yeah, definitely puts that idea in my head.
37:01
Speaker 5: I think there's kind of like this epidemic right now
37:04
Speaker 5: of like like chill girl syndrome where like I want
37:08
Speaker 5: to act like I don't care and like I'm not
37:10
Speaker 5: thinking about it like if I am, and like I
37:14
Speaker 5: want him to be the one to bring it up.
37:17
Speaker 7: I think that's like every girl's mentality.
37:19
Speaker 5: But no, you're totally right, Like I think that like
37:23
Speaker 5: there is no playbook and it's like I don't have
37:25
Speaker 5: to listen to that.
37:26
Speaker 3: I think guys are just as scared as a girl.
37:28
Speaker 3: I mean, granted there are people that they're in college
37:31
Speaker 3: and they're like I just want to date and play
37:32
Speaker 3: the field, like and there's a time in life that
37:35
Speaker 3: for that, but it doesn't last forever. Like if he's
37:37
Speaker 3: gotten through that, or you've gotten through that and you're
37:42
Speaker 3: looking for something different, like it again, I would just
37:45
Speaker 3: realize that it may work out still and that's cool,
37:48
Speaker 3: and it may not work out and that's okay, but
37:51
Speaker 3: be open to anything. Yeah, definitely don't close off your feelings.
37:56
Speaker 2: I would say that too, because you never know how
37:58
Speaker 2: it's going to end up, like if you don't like
38:02
Speaker 2: give something one hundred and ten percent, like yeah, my
38:05
Speaker 2: older sister always told me that, but also like like
38:08
Speaker 2: live your life too. But if you still have those feelings,
38:10
Speaker 2: like there's no reason why you guys can't reconnect.
38:14
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I know that's that's like you guys are
38:19
Speaker 5: getting my wheels turning.
38:20
Speaker 6: Now.
38:21
Speaker 3: Well, we don't want to. I don't want to flip
38:22
Speaker 3: you by any means, but but what you want to do.
38:24
Speaker 3: But like I think starting off, how mature you were
38:27
Speaker 3: just knowing that, and if you stick with that, like hey,
38:30
Speaker 3: like let's say you decided to try it again and
38:32
Speaker 3: all of a sudden, like these weird feelings are coming
38:34
Speaker 3: up and it's like destroying you. Like like I have
38:37
Speaker 3: a friend who went through the same thing, and he
38:38
Speaker 3: was dating this girl, you know, five hours away, and
38:42
Speaker 3: all of a sudden it was destroying him and she
38:44
Speaker 3: was doing things that shouldn't have been doing but she did.
38:46
Speaker 3: Just didn't get out of her system yet, and then
38:48
Speaker 3: six months later she was ready to be more serious
38:51
Speaker 3: because she finally got to that point.
38:53
Speaker 1: Yeah.
38:55
Speaker 2: So yeah, live your life. I feel like, no matter what,
38:58
Speaker 2: it's going to work out the way it was supposed to.
39:01
Speaker 2: But thank you so much for coming on. You're so sweet.
39:04
Speaker 7: Oh wait, same to you, guys.