Latest / Dits & Dahs / realizing at 65 that I was cr*p at predicting life when I was 25
Transcript
- Sue: I turned sixty five a few months back and it's one of those age milestones that requires a bit of adjustment. And what I mean by that in my mindset not so much, but more so about the fact that there's a categorization of people when they reach sixty five as being retirees or senior citizens, etc. And that's all fine. I don't really feel the labels are necessary, but they're there and I understand that for what they are. And I think about occasionally when I was younger, where I would have thought I would be when I was sixty five. You know, in America, traditionally, people retire age of sixty five. In terms of my social security, it's actually officially sixty seven. But nonetheless I still get the ten percent discount at the merchants that are offering that for senior citizens. When I reflect back on my younger me thinking about what I would be at sixty five. I thought I would be retired. I am most certainly not. I am employed part time, for which I'm extremely grateful. making just enough money to not qualify for food stamps or other state or federalist financial assistance of some sort. And in this scenario of where I'm at now, I'm trotting a new path. Because traditionally, and I mean that in looking at my parents' lives, they were both retired early, and that would have been in their late fifties. And that was something I thought would be possibility at my age. And of course that's all dependent in America on your employment. You know, how much You pay into a pension plan that the company sponsors or whatever the details are, but nonetheless, financially, I'm in a place that I didn't anticipate I'd be when I was younger. And that's okay. I accept that because this is the reality. And as I see the lives of my parents play out, I might live to the ages that they died. In the case of my mom, she was ninety eight when she died. Dad was a bit younger age eighty four, and I look at my health compared to what my folks were at their ages, respectively. And I'm not experiencing their health issues, nor am I experiencing any health issue that I'm aware of that puts me at a weaker place. But I've also nearly died seven or eight times so far in my life, given accidents and energetic projections, spiritually speaking. And that's certainly a much different mindset than where my parents were. So in sort of all aspects, of my life as I see it now compared with and that's unfair. But you know, it's a reference point that I think we all make, as our family and relatives of ages and what happened in their life. You look at what I am doing now with what my parents experienced and it's entirely different. And of course, you have to consider the fact that economic situation throughout the world and such were in a different place as well. So there's no getting around the fact that what I thought was gonna be my age sixty five and older view of myself thirty, forty years ago, is not at all valid. But it also brought to mind the fact that having lost my husband four and a half years ago, at the time of his death, I was looking at the next future years also, without him being at my side any more. That wasn't something I anticipated. I naively thought that we'd live together until a very ripe old age, of our natural historical family lineage and That would be that. And I think it comes to a place where no matter what your age, you have to have a balance in your mind, body, and spirit realms of your life aligning. I talk about us all being sort of cosmic sponges because I believe that we are a part of the universe. And of course the universe is us. And that is an concept that I wouldn't have considered forty years ago as seriously as I do now, in that understanding that words, whether unspoken or spoken, make things happen when you add your energy. That adage of be careful what you wish for. Well that's most certainly true. You visualize something, and I don't care whether you call it praying, manifesting, fantasizing. When you make that situation in your for lack of better word, mind When you grab a thought from the universe, you the cosmic sponge, as we all are. Because none of our thoughts are our own. That's the other key of this. That is my belief. But we can certainly grab onto those and create intellectual property or create manifestations that successfully land in our lives, because once you visualize something, you're already living that reality. You just have to get your mind, body, and spirit realms to align. So if spiritually you know What you're visualizing is your life, then you go about setting the tasks in place to make it happen in your real world. And then your intellectual mind at this point, finally the last of the three to come into alignment, knows then, right, I see it, made it happen, I accept that. Being a creative person doesn't mean that you understand the process of manifestation or visualization. You're just doing it. That's what creativity is all about. You're just pulling stuff that you filter through your cosmic sponge, those thoughts, those ideas, whatever, that you claim is your own, maybe create a bit of intellectual property as I do in the course of making music, or however it is that you wish to create. And there it is. I mean that's all that manifestation is. If I had known that when I was, you know, twenty five, I might have had a more careful visualization about things that I couldn't ever accurately predict, such as where we are economically and Culturally in our world, but nonetheless I would have had a more detailed vision of what life will be like for me at sixty five. And then those forty years I would have been manifesting the details to be in this place. So here I am, realizing that and now having to manifest the life improvements now, not in a matter of making things happen immediately, but realistically, now that I've had sixty five years of life. Would I manifest the things that I already have again? No, they would be nuanced. For example, at that time that I was manifesting my age sixty five visions for myself, I anticipated that I would have been married at that point at sixty-five, and certainly I was married. I married my best friend, and up until his death we had been married fifteen years. It wasn't gonna be the record that my parents had, which was s I think sixty-seven years of marriage. And that's only because they married when they were in their very early twenties, at the end of World War two, different mindset of the world at that point and the socioeconomics of it. And would I have made a difference in how I pursued my music career? No, and I speak to the fact that very early on, although I was trained to be a performer, the way things were in the world at that time, I was a woman in a male predominated jazz world, and as an oboist, it's pretty much the same, but By comparison to jazz piano gigs at that time, oboe gigs were much rarer. But now, at sixty five, and with the advent of YouTube, although it's been around and I've been a member for twenty years, it's now come to a place where I want to release my own music for people to listen to. Easy peasy. Didn't anticipate that forty years ago. I certainly didn't anticipate the internet forty years ago. So it comes to a place where you can clearly compare then and now and understand that there's no point in You're the master. You can manifest everything that you wish your life to be, understanding a few important things, those that I mentioned before, combined with understanding that the energy that you send out, you will receive. The universe is recording everything that happens 24-7. So even though you may feel alone, you're not. If you're mindful of the fact that when you send out your words, spoken or unspoken, with your energy, that's going to come back to you. May not come exactly back to you. It might come back to you in another physical lifetime. Because I also believe that we reincarnate. It's this the soul is eternal. The soul will inhabit many physical human vessels during that eternity. So when you're cursing out your neighbor, ⁓ that's gonna come back to you. It just might not come back to you in a way that you recognize at the time when it does come back, but that's karma for what you did. Conversely, when you do positive actions and manifestations, you're gonna get dharma. Some call that merit making. I don't do that, but I am certainly the recipient of Dharma in the last four and a half years, as difficult as it has been for mind, body, and spirit realms of me, has been made a lot easier for receiving the positivity of my neighbors and family. If I had known this about the power, positive thinking and viewing it. As manifestation and making my life better forty years ago, I probably would have had some very materialistic goals. I think no different than a lot of us, right? Safe place to rest your head at night in terms of owning a your home, whatever that might be. Having enough food to eat on the table, and I'll tell you, having been desperate like it was a challenge to get through. Having a relationship. Well, been there done that, and I'm waiting for my eternal love to manifest in the physical realm. Waiting is not the right term. I'm living my life to best that I'm able, knowing that at some point my eternal love will appear. That's my destiny. Well, that's an element of what brings the destiny into reality. The relationship isn't destiny per se, is the fact that my eternal love and I have been together eternally. And understanding that now helps to keep my mind, body, and spirit realms aligned. And you don't live your life thinking that you've made dinner for them and they're gonna show up for dinner. No. You start to understand that with faith in yourself that what you've pulled and filtered through your cosmic sponge, that's truth. You don't need others to validate that, by the way. I'll give you that validation. And understanding that each and every experience that you have is an energetic manipulation, and that here in the real world, or some people refer it as the matrix, you will experience what you visualize. Do I think my life would have been better off forty years ago if I had that mindset in place? Yes. Do I regret not doing it? No, I can't. Why? You can't look at the past too much either. Because there is no time. Every time you revisit the past, you're incrementally changing it. Once I learn to grasp a more universal view, mindset, approach, then you do realize that everything is possible, and that our manifestations are somewhat constricted. That's not the right exact wording, but it's the idea that our own real matrix experiences influence the way that we choose to manifest and therefore there's a restriction of manifesting things that are out of your age range because you haven't had those experiences. The best you can do is ask other people, and that's not the way to go, because that's going to invite spiritual trespassing. You don't need people lurking in your energy knowing your business, nor do you need to tell them. And so when you factor in all of this stuff, it becomes a very lonely but stoic place to live. And you can't be constricted by all the matrix that would rather have you feel alone and depressed and regretful for the fact that you got to the age of sixty-five and didn't do X, Y, and Z as you imagined it would come to be when you were twenty. That's forgiveness of self. And so when you've put all of that together, your awareness, because we're all awake, by the way, don't be sold at garbage. We are all awake. our level of awareness might need to be elevated to help us see things more clearly. And that many times when you filter in your thoughts through your cosmic sponge, you're gonna be the only one that sees that truth. Confirmation. Well that wood rap. I think it was probably an acorn hitting a branch. But the idea here being Is that while there are a lot of people who get to the age of sixty-five experience great loneliness, it's because they haven't learned to love themselves, truly. And you gotta fill your brain with the fun stuff. You gotta find stuff that engages you. And with me having been a musician all of my sixty-five years for the most part, sixty-three and a half years, you're dealing with something that is in place that whenever I'm by myself and feel motivated to do so, I make music. And of course with today you'd be having the internet as I was speaking about earlier, I go ahead and post that content so it fills up a great part of my day. I'm living a life that I hadn't even imagined would be possible at sixty five. And I've gotten rid of my fear of death, I've gotten rid of my ego. I don't doubt myself any longer. I accept the fact that there are times when I'm the only one that knows what's going on in my life, and that's the way it should be. So that when you interact with others, whether it be as a spouse or loved ones, neighbors, etc., you're doing so by presenting yourself wholly. You don't see you don't see everything. You acknowledge that, but you also acknowledge that it's just because you don't see it doesn't mean that it's not there. And as a result, life becomes very serene and peaceful because you're not imposing outside influences on you and you're not allowing External energies to manipulate your vibe into thinking that you're full of anxiety or worry or concern. And my last pro tip from my view of the universe is that when you start to recognize where that anxiety is in your life, become more aware of the things that you are grateful for. When you express gratitude as detailed as you want to get it, you step outside, be grateful for the weather you're experiencing. You encounter somebody, you could be grateful for that encounter. Whatever you do around the house. I like me, I have a I have a drying well. So every time I get water out of the tap, I'm grateful. I have enough food on the table, in the refrigerator, in the pantry. I'm grateful. I've been without. And I'm not saying you have to be without to experience gratitude for the things that you do have, but once you recognize that anxiety is displacing gratitude, and then you feel that Anxiety with gratitude, there's no place for anxiety to live in your life. Maybe it took me sixty-five years to speak on that. And if that resonates with you, I'm grateful. I'm also grateful that you listened this long. Thank you for that. Thank you for sharing your energy. And I want to add a little coda of gratitude. Because in addition to doing YouTube podcasts, it's also available on Spotify and Apple Podcasts if you're interested. Apple Podcasts is audio only. Spotify and YouTube are are with video. I also maintain my own website, Sue Sinclair dot com. And between the YouTube and my website, I have people visiting from six continents. People that I'm very grateful that you took time to read a post or to listen to one of these episodes. I didn't imagine that would be happening because I couldn't imagine the internet forty years ago. But the level of connection, as visceral as it is when you just click on a video. Thank you for that. If you want to comment, if you want to like, if you want to subscribe, that's great. And one final thing about gratitude about that, I've received a couple of new subscribers in the last few days. I'm super grateful for that. I'm not interested necessarily in mon monetizing this channel. This is just simply me posting the mundane utterances of my daily life, knowing that in some way it touches you. I'm grateful for that. Thank you. I appreciate you.