Latest / Privycast / Ep. 73 Confessing our Sins with Aaron Baddeley and Bret Rediger (Privychat 12)

Transcript

Ep. 73 Confessing our Sins with Aaron Baddeley and Bret Rediger (Privychat 12) · Privycast

• 0:01
  >> Speaker A: Toughed it out for a while. I was like, I think we're fine. We were
• 0:03
  not fine. I was like, dude, I'm in danger. Like, everything's chafen down there.
• 0:06
  Like, I can feel poop, like, underwear sticking to my butt, you
• 0:09
  know?
• 0:15
  >> Speaker B: Welcome back to privy. Privy is a
• 0:17
  podcast about bathrooms recorded
• 0:21
  this week. Uh, I am in the
• 0:24
  ho hotel bathroom of the Staybridge Inn
• 0:27
  suites of Great Falls, Montana, and I'm going to be
• 0:30
  recording remotely, uh, with two
• 0:33
  gents here in a moment. I, uh, want to be respectful of their time,
• 0:36
  so this record beforehand. And so, um, yeah, thank
• 0:39
  you for listening. I'm glad you're here. And, uh, let's see if we can
• 0:42
  get them on the call. Why don't you all just, uh,
• 0:45
  share who you are in case
• 0:48
  people, uh, don't know who you are? Because I know you guys
• 0:51
  a little bit. Um, enough to be dangerous.
• 0:53
  >> Speaker A: Uh, I think we start with the smallest
• 0:56
  beard.
• 0:59
  >> Speaker C: Smallest mustache.
• 1:04
  Uh, my name is Bret
• 1:07
  Redeger.
• 1:09
  I attended Corbin University with these
• 1:12
  two hooligans back in the day
• 1:15
  of. What years do we all go?
• 1:17
  You guys went 2012 through 2016.
• 1:20
  >> Speaker A: Yeah.
• 1:22
  >> Speaker C: So had some good times there.
• 1:24
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 1:25
  >> Speaker C: Where are you at now, the freshman year?
• 1:27
  >> Speaker B: Me?
• 1:27
  >> Speaker C: I'm, uh, up in, uh, nooksack, Washington, kind
• 1:30
  of little hometown where I grew up.
• 1:32
  >> Speaker B: Nooksack?
• 1:34
  >> Speaker C: Yeah.
• 1:34
  >> Speaker A: That is how you pronounce that?
• 1:37
  >> Speaker C: Yeah. I always told everybody we should change our
• 1:40
  mascot to the know. People like
• 1:42
  nutsack. I'm like, yeah. Because we dragon this nutsack on
• 1:45
  your face.
• 1:46
  >> Speaker A: Oh.
• 1:50
  >> Speaker B: Yes.
• 1:51
  >> Speaker C: Uh, when people call you your school, that you
• 1:54
  got to have.
• 1:58
  >> Speaker A: Organic.
• 2:01
  >> Speaker B: Sweet, man.
• 2:02
  >> Speaker A: My name is Aaron Badley. I'm at
• 2:05
  Spokane, Washington, land of the
• 2:08
  almost free. We're, like, that close to Idaho. We're that
• 2:10
  close.
• 2:11
  >> Speaker C: Compton.
• 2:12
  >> Speaker A: Until then, though, I remain in chains and utter
• 2:15
  darkness.
• 2:17
  Yeah, I'm also a
• 2:20
  corbin alumni, for better or for worse. Got my undergrad
• 2:23
  and master's degree there, and,
• 2:26
  uh, just went north from.
• 2:28
  >> Speaker B: So, uh, you fled?
• 2:31
  >> Speaker A: I fled. I didn't go east, though.
• 2:34
  I didn't go east. Adam did that. Cain did that,
• 2:36
  so I just went, yeah, yeah.
• 2:39
  >> Speaker B: Adam's like a firefighter now or something.
• 2:42
  Odly.
• 2:42
  >> Speaker A: Did he really?
• 2:43
  >> Speaker B: Last I saw, he, um. So he used to do
• 2:46
  ministry down by me in Corvallis, and
• 2:49
  then last I saw. I think he's in
• 2:51
  Washington as a firefighter.
• 2:54
  >> Speaker A: Oh, what?
• 2:55
  >> Speaker C: That might not be, see, in Yakima,
• 2:58
  uh, yaka Vegas.
• 3:00
  >> Speaker B: I'd have to go find it, but, yeah, he hit a
• 3:03
  thing and was in full firefighter, uh,
• 3:05
  and talked about new opportunity.
• 3:08
  >> Speaker A: You sure wasn't for a calendar photo shoot or something?
• 3:12
  >> Speaker C: Uh, no, I wouldn't.
• 3:15
  >> Speaker B: Yeah, we'd already have it. No, I already have this
• 3:18
  year's copy. Well, sweet.
• 3:21
  Guys, um. Ah, I
• 3:24
  have a story that I want us to get into, but before
• 3:27
  we do. So do either of you have your
• 3:30
  own individual. And I know I
• 3:33
  might be putting you on the spot a little bit. Do you have your own individual
• 3:36
  bathroom? Tales of woe or even. It doesn't even have to be
• 3:39
  you. Yeah.
• 3:40
  >> Speaker C: About most of each other's.
• 3:42
  >> Speaker A: Uh. I can't wait for Bret.
• 3:44
  >> Speaker C: Chain going.
• 3:45
  >> Speaker B: Uh.
• 3:48
  >> Speaker C: We, uh, got a text chain going where me and
• 3:51
  Aaron are cousins, right? His brother
• 3:54
  Justin. And, uh, once in a blue
• 3:57
  moon, we don't text each other really
• 4:00
  that much, but I'll send. We'll just send this
• 4:02
  picture just like, yo, check this
• 4:05
  out. This is what I ate. These are the products we're giving
• 4:08
  the details on the dirty.
• 4:12
  Some are pretty colorful, different
• 4:15
  consistencies and everything. It's always nice to see
• 4:18
  and show the wife, give her a little jump start.
• 4:21
  >> Speaker B: Yes. That's
• 4:24
  the vibe that I'm going for. So I love.
• 4:27
  >> Speaker A: It's, uh, another
• 4:30
  corbin story. I poop my
• 4:32
  pants more than I care to admit. Like, when I thought about it later, I was
• 4:35
  like, I pooped my pants a lot.
• 4:38
  >> Speaker C: This one when you were driving.
• 4:40
  >> Speaker A: It's been less recently. It was when I was driving. Oh, I've got another one, too.
• 4:43
  But there's one. I was driving. I was coming back to corbin with sam
• 4:45
  belek, and we're about to hit
• 4:49
  the prisons. Like, we're that close, and we're literally talking about. Because I was like,
• 4:51
  dude, I got to go. When I get back, whatever.
• 4:54
  We were literally sharing shard stories,
• 4:57
  and, uh, somehow talking about bret Johnson, these different guys just
• 5:00
  cracking up. And then I let one go in the car, and I look
• 5:03
  at sam, and we're at the prison. We're driving by the prison. We're
• 5:06
  30 seconds away. I just look at sam.
• 5:08
  >> Speaker B: I'm like.
• 5:12
  >> Speaker A: I just filled my pants.
• 5:15
  >> Speaker B: Oh, no.
• 5:16
  >> Speaker A: It was unreal.
• 5:18
  >> Speaker C: How much village are we talking here?
• 5:20
  >> Speaker A: Yeah, um, there's nothing.
• 5:24
  There's nothing salt about it.
• 5:27
  I could feel it, but there's nothing salt about.
• 5:29
  Yeah, I don't think I sold my car seat. I think that was
• 5:32
  good. Forget. There's a
• 5:35
  good. Another one, though, where I was at a family
• 5:38
  reunion somewhere in eastern washington,
• 5:40
  and, uh,
• 5:42
  somehow I sharded at the family
• 5:45
  reunion,
• 5:49
  and, uh, we're out in the middle of nowhere, away from
• 5:52
  nothing, right? And I'm like, okay, so I just went
• 5:55
  to the bathroom. Well, actually, I kind of toughed
• 5:58
  it out for a while. I was like, I think we're fine. Yeah, we were not
• 6:01
  fine. I was like, dude, I'm in danger. Everything's chafing down there.
• 6:03
  I can feel poop, my underwear sticking to my butt.
• 6:07
  So I went to the bathroom. There's no
• 6:10
  toilet paper in any of the bathrooms.
• 6:12
  >> Speaker B: Oh, no.
• 6:13
  >> Speaker A: And so I just went, like, full,
• 6:16
  uh, adventure mode. Took
• 6:19
  out my knife, cut my underwear off, used it
• 6:22
  to wipe, threw it in the porta
• 6:25
  potty, and walked out like, nothing happened, dude.
• 6:28
  >> Speaker B: So then you're going commando.
• 6:30
  >> Speaker A: I went full commando the rest of the time.
• 6:32
  >> Speaker C: Um, only way to go. Good thing you had underwear
• 6:35
  in the first place, right?
• 6:37
  >> Speaker B: You walk out shirtless, and you know what's going.
• 6:41
  >> Speaker C: Yeah, that reminds me. The bathroom
• 6:44
  shenanigan. We had a missions trip to
• 6:46
  Mexico. Gosh, this was my sophomore year.
• 6:50
  Uh.
• 6:53
  >> Speaker A: I wasn't there.
• 6:53
  >> Speaker C: But you told, uh, uh,
• 6:57
  gosh, it's our last night there.
• 7:00
  Uh, what was the last morning? So we're about
• 7:03
  to wake up, pack stuff up, and leave. Well, also,
• 7:06
  we start kind of hear rumblings, like, yo, what happened in the girl's
• 7:09
  bathroom? So me
• 7:12
  being me, I got to go check it out.
• 7:13
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 7:14
  >> Speaker C: And in the place we were at Ensenada, we were building a
• 7:17
  church there. And open the door. It's just the hole
• 7:20
  in the know. That's typical, um, of just, like, when you're out
• 7:23
  hiking, something like that. And you open it, and you're like,
• 7:26
  why am I looking up right now? Because there's poop on
• 7:29
  the ceiling, it's on the walls. It's all
• 7:31
  over. You're just like,
• 7:34
  okay, well, I'm glad I'm, one, not a girl. And two, we're
• 7:37
  leaving.
• 7:38
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 7:40
  >> Speaker C: Well, then, of course, bus trip back and everything. They're, like,
• 7:43
  asking, oh, what are you guys thankful for? And everything like
• 7:45
  that. All those kinds of questions.
• 7:48
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 7:49
  >> Speaker C: Somehow this made it in front of the entire
• 7:51
  church. But, uh, I remember exactly what
• 7:54
  I said, but it was along the lines of like, oh, man,
• 7:57
  I glad I got to make a quick trip to the woman's
• 8:00
  bathroom before I had to destroy it. Or
• 8:03
  something along those lines. Play it in front of the entire
• 8:05
  congregation. I'm just like, oh, crap. My parents are
• 8:08
  sitting right next to me.
• 8:09
  >> Speaker B: They're so proud.
• 8:11
  >> Speaker A: I think your mom murdered you 1000 times in her
• 8:13
  head.
• 8:15
  >> Speaker B: Well,
• 8:19
  that's the best part of being, like, an adult.
• 8:22
  And your parents still around
• 8:24
  interacting with your stuff. It's like, yeah,
• 8:27
  wait till you hear this story. Uh, right? I'm
• 8:30
  going to do you real proud on this one. Um.
• 8:33
  Man. Hey. And I'm sure there's
• 8:36
  endless bathrooming, uh,
• 8:39
  situations.
• 8:40
  >> Speaker A: Um, I literally had three more coming through my head. From Corbin. Yep. But we'll
• 8:43
  save them.
• 8:43
  >> Speaker B: Yeah. Hey, who knows? Maybe there's a part two in the
• 8:46
  works. I don't know. Um, but
• 8:49
  I want to visit this story.
• 8:52
  What I found is, in time, my
• 8:54
  memory is interesting, um, because
• 8:57
  I remember this a specific way, and I wanted you all to speak to
• 9:00
  it because there's a lot of moving
• 9:02
  parts here. Uh, and so,
• 9:05
  however you want to do, I can start telling the story
• 9:09
  and then hand it off to you all.
• 9:11
  >> Speaker A: I would love to hear your rendition of this, and
• 9:13
  we can go. But I would love to hear what you think happened.
• 9:16
  >> Speaker B: And feel free to shout in here to revise
• 9:19
  my history and my memory, because I'm pretty
• 9:22
  sure I have some of these things wrong. Also,
• 9:25
  I'm going to use the gentleman's name, and if y'all
• 9:28
  later are like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Um, so
• 9:31
  we'll just say John.
• 9:34
  Uh, as I remember it, uh,
• 9:36
  yeah, he was russian. That's all I know. Um,
• 9:39
  I don't remember his name. Yeah. But
• 9:42
  as I remember it, he had been parking in the Ra
• 9:45
  spots at our dorm.
• 9:48
  >> Speaker C: Either Ra or senior parking.
• 9:50
  >> Speaker A: Yeah, or both.
• 9:51
  >> Speaker B: And in my memory, we had had
• 9:54
  multiple dorm meetings addressing this, saying, hey,
• 9:56
  guys. And I think it was one of those things where it's like, hey,
• 9:59
  we don't want to call out anybody, and we're trying to
• 10:02
  be trauma informed and not target anybody. And
• 10:05
  we all knew that it's this kid, and we're like,
• 10:09
  can't we just have him get him a
• 10:12
  ticket or something? And, um, I don't ever remember
• 10:15
  why he couldn't get ticketed. I think it was. It wasn't an
• 10:17
  official breaking of rule. It was like a dorm
• 10:20
  agreed on thing.
• 10:23
  >> Speaker A: But anyway, soft rule. It wasn't a policy of
• 10:26
  the university, right?
• 10:27
  >> Speaker B: And so it's like, if he chooses to continue
• 10:30
  to dill hole out, we can't really do anything. And so he
• 10:33
  did continue to do that. And as I remember it, the
• 10:36
  murmurings kind of kept happening, of like, hey, this
• 10:39
  guy is
• 10:42
  just ruining our evening with these dorm meetings.
• 10:45
  And every time we go to senior park or someone
• 10:48
  goes to park, he's just there.
• 10:50
  And, uh, as I remember it, we were hanging
• 10:53
  out in Brett's room when
• 10:56
  Aaron came into the room and
• 10:59
  said, something about having had eaten taco
• 11:01
  Bell and that he was, quote,
• 11:04
  ready to take care of something.
• 11:08
  And that was how we got the train
• 11:11
  of, like, in my brain. It was like eight to ten guys
• 11:14
  who followed you all out to the car.
• 11:17
  Um. Have I gotten anything
• 11:20
  wrong?
• 11:21
  >> Speaker C: No. I'm just going to mention, I think I'm
• 11:24
  impressed because, yeah, there was about eight dudes
• 11:27
  there. We never once heard
• 11:30
  anything from John. Everybody just.
• 11:33
  >> Speaker B: Oh, strap in because I'm going to fill you in on
• 11:35
  something here. It's a gem. No, he
• 11:38
  never addressed it with us. Um, he addressed it in a
• 11:41
  very particular, uh, way.
• 11:44
  Um, I can't wait. Yeah. So we go outside and
• 11:47
  we go up the stairs, and his car is parked,
• 11:50
  like, right at the top of the stairs.
• 11:52
  Um, right. And
• 11:55
  I'll let you all share what you contributed
• 11:57
  to, uh, his car,
• 12:00
  if you would like.
• 12:02
  >> Speaker A: Uh, it was just, uh, the contents of my
• 12:05
  bowels.
• 12:06
  >> Speaker B: Yeah. Just defecated. Um,
• 12:09
  the picture. Yes.
• 12:11
  >> Speaker A: Let's be clear.
• 12:12
  >> Speaker B: It started, um.
• 12:18
  Yes. So Chad and I lived in the room
• 12:20
  right at the bottom of those stairs.
• 12:23
  And so every morning when we pulled our blinds, we got to look
• 12:26
  up at John's car. Uh,
• 12:29
  and it progressed past that
• 12:32
  night, but the night. Yeah, it was a very neat pile. It was a very good
• 12:35
  pile. Um, I remember I,
• 12:38
  myself, urinated on his car.
• 12:40
  Um, handle. I remember that
• 12:43
  there was a lot of urination. There was definitely some poop on his
• 12:46
  car. Um, and it's
• 12:49
  been ten years, and I think the
• 12:52
  statute. Anyway, uh, we're good. Uh.
• 12:55
  >> Speaker A: Oh, my goodness.
• 12:57
  >> Speaker B: That's probably the one that could speak to it. He's,
• 13:00
  like, shaking it. No, stop.
• 13:03
  Uh, but so we. We did this good thing,
• 13:06
  but he was gone out of town.
• 13:10
  >> Speaker A: Okay, I thought we told him.
• 13:12
  >> Speaker B: Someone told him. I didn't.
• 13:14
  >> Speaker C: You're going to leave town and you're going to park your car there. You got to expect
• 13:17
  some when you come back.
• 13:19
  >> Speaker A: I could have swore, like, we told him, dude, we're going to poop on
• 13:22
  your car. It was not a mystery.
• 13:23
  >> Speaker C: I think we did 100%.
• 13:25
  >> Speaker B: Yes. He was willing.
• 13:27
  >> Speaker A: Yeah. This is not nice thing you
• 13:30
  did, but we told him this will happen
• 13:34
  anyway.
• 13:34
  >> Speaker B: And it did. Uh, and he went out of town
• 13:37
  on a cross country, like, uh, meet.
• 13:41
  And so my dude's car was parked there for four
• 13:44
  or five days, didn't move.
• 13:46
  And this turd just sat, like,
• 13:49
  just above. I think it was his hood.
• 13:52
  >> Speaker C: Um, was this almost summertime when it happened
• 13:55
  or what season are we talking?
• 13:57
  >> Speaker B: It was rainy.
• 13:58
  >> Speaker C: Rainy.
• 13:59
  >> Speaker A: Okay, I have a totally different
• 14:02
  recollection of this.
• 14:02
  >> Speaker B: Okay, see, this is good, because I.
• 14:05
  >> Speaker A: Remember going out in the morning because I was like, dude, do we clean this up? Because
• 14:08
  this was just like, to send a message. I'll clean it up. I'm fine cleaning it up.
• 14:11
  And it was gone.
• 14:13
  >> Speaker B: The rain had washed it off. That's my recollection.
• 14:16
  >> Speaker C: I don't think you looked that closely, Aaron.
• 14:18
  >> Speaker A: No, we went out and looked and there's nothing. Because someone
• 14:21
  else did another car. Like, the basketball players kind of got carried away.
• 14:24
  >> Speaker B: They went to something else.
• 14:26
  >> Speaker A: Everything was cleaned up.
• 14:27
  >> Speaker B: Everything. Oh, see, that's interesting. So
• 14:31
  maybe I have the other car in my brain as this
• 14:33
  car. Well, then the question is, who cleaned it
• 14:36
  up?
• 14:37
  >> Speaker A: Because we have no idea. It wasn't
• 14:39
  me.
• 14:40
  >> Speaker B: Wasn't me.
• 14:41
  >> Speaker C: Uh, wasn't me.
• 14:43
  >> Speaker B: So as I remembered it,
• 14:46
  one car, apparently two, got hit. Breaking
• 14:48
  news. The rain had
• 14:51
  washed one of these turds down
• 14:54
  onto the rest of the car.
• 14:55
  >> Speaker C: And, like, the ventilation.
• 14:58
  >> Speaker B: Yeah. And where it was positioned, everybody
• 15:01
  that walked to the gym had to walk right by these
• 15:04
  cars.
• 15:05
  >> Speaker C: Just look at that.
• 15:07
  >> Speaker B: And Chad and I just would look out our window like, oh, um,
• 15:10
  no. Are there
• 15:13
  cameras? Like, have they caught on?
• 15:15
  Um, so the way. Fast
• 15:18
  forward few months. Um, so
• 15:21
  Anna and I were dating, and her roommate
• 15:24
  at the time began to date John.
• 15:27
  Uh, and this is where the story
• 15:30
  got wild because her roommate
• 15:33
  began to talk to her. Be like, yeah, a few months back,
• 15:36
  a bunch of guys pooped on my boyfriend's car. It was
• 15:38
  awful. And so Anna's telling me, she's like, can you
• 15:41
  believe people would do that? Who would do
• 15:44
  that? Staring at my
• 15:47
  disgusting girlfriend, soon to be
• 15:49
  fiance. Like, yeah, that's, that's
• 15:52
  really believe.
• 15:55
  >> Speaker C: Why would they do that?
• 15:57
  >> Speaker B: And she can, she can just sense, like,
• 16:00
  this guy.
• 16:01
  >> Speaker A: This guy.
• 16:02
  >> Speaker B: What did you do? And I said, I only
• 16:05
  contributed wet to it.
• 16:07
  Uh,
• 16:12
  the word got around, but it got around via his
• 16:14
  girlfriend, m. And they're married and in, I
• 16:17
  believe, California now. Uh, so
• 16:20
  congrats to them. Sorry about your car.
• 16:23
  Uh, sorry about the work.
• 16:27
  >> Speaker C: He parked there again.
• 16:28
  >> Speaker B: Yeah, I think it stopped. Message sent and
• 16:31
  received. Um,
• 16:34
  but see, that's why I thought someone either had
• 16:37
  to have told him or he saw it because he
• 16:40
  filled his girlfriend in on this.
• 16:42
  >> Speaker C: Yeah.
• 16:42
  >> Speaker B: Okay, so that's why, in my brain, it
• 16:45
  washed down the front of his car.
• 16:46
  >> Speaker A: And he, like, maybe, uh, I remember
• 16:49
  looking with a bunch of guys and like, there was nothing
• 16:52
  because we were really going to go clean it up.
• 16:54
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 16:55
  >> Speaker A: Uh, but we could have missed it.
• 16:57
  >> Speaker B: Well, or the rain had washed it. So far,
• 17:00
  pretty.
• 17:02
  >> Speaker A: That could have even happened. Um,
• 17:06
  we told him, there's no mystery about it.
• 17:10
  You need to move your car. Yeah. Here is
• 17:13
  the step a, step b. Yeah.
• 17:15
  >> Speaker C: So he never knew who did it, though. When he told his girlfriend,
• 17:18
  even though we had told him, like, hey, man.
• 17:23
  >> Speaker B: I think the way I understood
• 17:26
  is we told him, hey,
• 17:30
  somebody told him that, hey, this is going to happen.
• 17:33
  And I think he just was like, well, I guess somebody did
• 17:36
  it, but it wasn't them because then I m would know it
• 17:39
  was, uh, uh, I don't.
• 17:44
  >> Speaker C: The best way to hide is in plain sight.
• 17:46
  >> Speaker B: It was just so surreal having Anna.
• 17:48
  >> Speaker C: Be like, that's crazy.
• 17:52
  >> Speaker B: Kind of, uh.
• 17:54
  >> Speaker A: Oh, my God.
• 17:55
  >> Speaker C: Yeah, actually.
• 17:58
  >> Speaker B: Imagine having been there.
• 18:00
  >> Speaker A: I had no idea that's what happened to you, though. That's awesome.
• 18:03
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 18:03
  >> Speaker A: Oh, my God.
• 18:04
  >> Speaker B: Um, I think Anna gets like an embarrassed kick out
• 18:07
  of it now, but whatever.
• 18:09
  >> Speaker A: Uh, it's so funny because I have no ill
• 18:12
  will towards the guy. Like, I don't remember his name.
• 18:14
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 18:14
  >> Speaker A: Or strictly dorm
• 18:16
  policy.
• 18:17
  >> Speaker B: Yeah, I just remember him because
• 18:22
  we made our own rule.
• 18:23
  >> Speaker C: Policy enforcers.
• 18:26
  >> Speaker B: Oh, my gosh. Wow, dude, college
• 18:29
  was wild. Um, Bible college
• 18:32
  was especially
• 18:35
  so if anybody's listening and in
• 18:37
  school, park where you're supposed to park. That's the
• 18:40
  warning. The PSA or your neighborhood
• 18:43
  watch will squat on your car.
• 18:44
  >> Speaker C: I will come down from Washington and I will
• 18:47
  drop you on your car.
• 18:49
  >> Speaker A: The dorm hoa will find you and they will kill
• 18:52
  you.
• 18:53
  >> Speaker B: They'll just eat a full tummy furt of Iberto's
• 18:56
  burritos and just squelch one out right on
• 18:59
  your head.
• 18:59
  >> Speaker A: I just remember it was like all the self control in the world to make
• 19:02
  it from the dining hall to the dorm. I was like, Bret,
• 19:05
  I gotta.
• 19:06
  >> Speaker B: I remember you came in and you're like, it's
• 19:09
  happening. I have to go and I'm going now.
• 19:12
  And there was just a little train of guys
• 19:15
  that followed you out for the.
• 19:19
  >> Speaker C: Well, I won't point any fingers, but Aaron
• 19:22
  was only successful. Uh, I was thinking we were going
• 19:25
  to have a couple more. I know, I tried. I got up there and I was.
• 19:28
  >> Speaker A: Like, a lot of stage fright. A lot of stage
• 19:30
  fright.
• 19:33
  >> Speaker B: I don't think I tried the pooping because
• 19:35
  I didn't have to go, but I definitely peed on his, um.
• 19:40
  >> Speaker A: Performance.
• 19:41
  >> Speaker C: That's probably the worst. Yeah, it's Darryl. It's going to
• 19:44
  wash off. But I'm like, ah, he's not really going to touch the poop. Like, he
• 19:47
  knows it's there. The door handle, he has no clue.
• 19:49
  >> Speaker A: That's what it feels.
• 19:50
  >> Speaker C: Smeared it on the door handle is what we should have done.
• 19:54
  That would have been just on the underside.
• 19:56
  >> Speaker A: That would have crossed the line for, like, malice for me. I
• 19:59
  felt good pooping on his hood. He sees it
• 20:02
  great.
• 20:03
  >> Speaker C: And I quote, I feel good pooping on his
• 20:06
  hood.
• 20:07
  >> Speaker A: I felt no. Like, my conscience wasn't even quick.
• 20:11
  I was like, dude, if he wants, I'll clean it up. I'm going to send
• 20:14
  it.
• 20:14
  >> Speaker B: Yeah, but that's the way to be,
• 20:17
  man. Like, commit. Don't look
• 20:20
  back.
• 20:23
  Wow.
• 20:23
  >> Speaker C: Full send.
• 20:26
  >> Speaker A: I feel like we learned a lot about each other just now. That was good.
• 20:29
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 20:30
  >> Speaker A: That we have no conscience.
• 20:33
  >> Speaker B: Yeah. Or at least seared.
• 20:37
  Seared conscience. Um,
• 20:41
  I blame Bible school.
• 20:43
  >> Speaker C: Exactly.
• 20:44
  >> Speaker A: I think we can place this all squarely on Jones.
• 20:47
  >> Speaker B: Oh, yeah. If he hadn't, uh, been
• 20:50
  so busy challenging us. Uh.
• 20:54
  >> Speaker A: We have these beards, I think strictly because of him. Bret. Something
• 20:57
  happened to Bret?
• 20:58
  >> Speaker B: Yeah, dude. My beard
• 21:01
  thing began as, like, uh, I began working
• 21:04
  at the high school, and these dang kids.
• 21:07
  Baby face, they're just like, I ain't having it from you, old man.
• 21:10
  >> Speaker A: Totally.
• 21:11
  >> Speaker B: Like, you look like a toddler. I'm not listening to you. And then
• 21:13
  you get some facial hair and they're like, yes, sir.
• 21:17
  >> Speaker A: Okay, true.
• 21:18
  >> Speaker B: Yeah, I don't know. Um, something about a little hair on your
• 21:20
  chin keeps it real.
• 21:22
  >> Speaker A: I was going to say on the facial hair note, I worked for a church for a while and I
• 21:25
  was like, 20 at the time.
• 21:27
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 21:27
  >> Speaker A: But I was helping these guys, who are all fully grown men,
• 21:30
  have families, get their mDivs remotely.
• 21:34
  Um, but I grew a long beard and so
• 21:37
  these guys all thought I was just like some respectable dude.
• 21:40
  Like 30, 35.
• 21:42
  Uh, I might brush my teeth once a day. I don't even have a
• 21:45
  kid. I still live on Mountain
• 21:48
  Dew. But
• 21:51
  my facial hair.
• 21:56
  >> Speaker B: Adulthood is just that, though.
• 22:00
  Uh, there's all this, like, oh, I wasn't
• 22:03
  ready. And all these college guys, they're
• 22:06
  like, I just don't know if I'm ready. It's like, dude, nobody was ever
• 22:08
  ready. Uh, you just.
• 22:11
  Trial and error.
• 22:14
  Keep it real and absolutely
• 22:17
  be able to learn. That's 90% of it.
• 22:20
  Absolutely. Um, well, hey, while I have you
• 22:23
  guys, uh, because I want you all
• 22:26
  to get back to your lives because it's
• 22:29
  Bret's day off and you've got a kiddo napping
• 22:31
  or something. I don't remember the arrangement.
• 22:34
  >> Speaker C: Uh, we're good they're all napping.
• 22:37
  >> Speaker B: They're all napping.
• 22:38
  >> Speaker C: They're all down.
• 22:39
  >> Speaker B: Dude, that's impressive.
• 22:42
  That's impressive. Uh, wow.
• 22:45
  >> Speaker C: That was all me. I put them all down and everything.
• 22:49
  >> Speaker B: Your wife just, like, pops into the background, like, shaking her head, like,
• 22:52
  no way. No.
• 22:56
  Um, so I have a few questions that I
• 22:59
  ask people when they're on the show. Uh,
• 23:01
  and the first is, what type of toilet paper
• 23:04
  do y'all prefer? Use, um,
• 23:08
  steel.
• 23:11
  >> Speaker C: Kidding.
• 23:13
  >> Speaker A: You like the feeling of the remnants that it
• 23:15
  provides?
• 23:16
  >> Speaker C: I made the mistake once. Know Scott? Single?
• 23:22
  Uh,
• 23:28
  that was during COVID when short supplies
• 23:31
  and everything
• 23:34
  is still better than.
• 23:35
  >> Speaker A: My shirt or my
• 23:38
  brief.
• 23:40
  >> Speaker C: Or your brief.
• 23:42
  >> Speaker B: Yeah. Um, what do you prefer,
• 23:45
  though?
• 23:47
  >> Speaker C: Gosh, I'd probably have to go with, like,
• 23:50
  charmin beautiful bear, whatever. The triple
• 23:53
  ply, like, the lotion in there and everything.
• 23:55
  Pretty much. It feels like. Anyways.
• 23:57
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 23:58
  >> Speaker A: Do you actually get those?
• 23:59
  >> Speaker C: Yeah. Well, uh, not the lotion, but,
• 24:02
  no. I knew a guy that used just straight
• 24:05
  wet wipes, though, once, and I was like, dude, it's a
• 24:08
  little hardcore, man.
• 24:09
  >> Speaker B: He could not have flushed them, though.
• 24:12
  >> Speaker C: No, he did. He's like, oh, I get the flushable ones.
• 24:15
  >> Speaker A: Okay, that's brave.
• 24:18
  >> Speaker B: Yes, brave.
• 24:22
  >> Speaker A: I have a friend I won't name.
• 24:23
  >> Speaker C: He wasn't paying for the plumbing. Let's say that.
• 24:28
  >> Speaker A: I have a friend I won't name. But he literally
• 24:30
  nairs hair. Removes the hair
• 24:33
  on his butthole, and uses, uh, baby wipes.
• 24:36
  He's just like, he's Mr. Clean down there.
• 24:39
  >> Speaker B: Oh, no, but it's
• 24:42
  Nair.
• 24:43
  >> Speaker C: What is Nair?
• 24:44
  >> Speaker B: It's like, uh, burns
• 24:47
  the hair off.
• 24:48
  >> Speaker C: Uh, okay. I was like, I'll shave every once in a
• 24:51
  while. Trim it up with a razor.
• 24:53
  Electric razor. But I don't think it's straight razor.
• 24:56
  >> Speaker B: Manscape it.
• 24:58
  >> Speaker C: Sometimes it just starts coming out. Got to
• 25:01
  whack that little bit back.
• 25:05
  In case that's not TMI.
• 25:07
  >> Speaker A: Hair removal cream. N a I r.
• 25:10
  Yeah. Get it while it's hot.
• 25:12
  >> Speaker B: Yeah, but I understand Nair
• 25:15
  is kind of painful. Like, it doesn't feel good.
• 25:18
  >> Speaker A: Yeah, I imagine that leaves a burning.
• 25:20
  >> Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah.
• 25:21
  >> Speaker C: Not the spot. I wrote that.
• 25:23
  >> Speaker B: Oh, gosh.
• 25:24
  >> Speaker A: That's just shows you his dedication to being Mr. Clean down, know?
• 25:27
  >> Speaker B: Yeah, I guess it's fair.
• 25:29
  >> Speaker C: Does it cost
• 25:31
  everything?
• 25:32
  >> Speaker B: How much can I get on Amazon right now?
• 25:34
  >> Speaker C: Your soul, is it. In
• 25:37
  short.
• 25:40
  >> Speaker B: Uh, Aaron. Aaron, what do y'all use for
• 25:43
  TP?
• 25:44
  >> Speaker A: We just use, uh, the bulk TP from
• 25:47
  Costco. The Kirkland brand.
• 25:48
  >> Speaker B: Yeah, Kirkland.
• 25:51
  >> Speaker A: We're common peasants like that. And it gets the job done,
• 25:54
  dude.
• 25:55
  >> Speaker B: It's a good paper. It's a quality paper.
• 25:57
  Um, better than their milk
• 26:00
  jugs. Their milk jugs should
• 26:03
  be illegal. I can't.
• 26:05
  >> Speaker C: You spill those half the time for.
• 26:07
  >> Speaker A: Yeah, those are sin.
• 26:08
  >> Speaker B: Yes, but they'll do nothing about it.
• 26:11
  I've written them.
• 26:12
  >> Speaker A: Um, we should pass some
• 26:14
  RCW or some kind of code.
• 26:18
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 26:20
  Um, so when you all are
• 26:23
  in the toilet paper situation, the toilet
• 26:26
  paper, is it going over or under for you all or is
• 26:29
  it. Oh, boy.
• 26:31
  >> Speaker C: I used to go over. I didn't get cats.
• 26:33
  >> Speaker B: Got to go.
• 26:35
  >> Speaker C: And kids, too. Yeah, once they're at that age,
• 26:38
  just taking it everywhere.
• 26:41
  Either that or we'll take it off and put it up to the side and then just
• 26:43
  hold it.
• 26:47
  >> Speaker A: Yeah, we literally don't have our toilet paper on the roll. It's on the side because of
• 26:50
  our cat. Yeah,
• 26:53
  she'll put, like, half the roll in the toilet.
• 26:55
  >> Speaker C: Hunters. Like, you're asking over under. We're like, dude, it's not even on the
• 26:58
  roll.
• 26:58
  >> Speaker B: Just take it off. It's not even worth it.
• 27:00
  >> Speaker A: It's not even on the roll for us. It hasn't been for, like, two years
• 27:03
  now.
• 27:03
  >> Speaker B: That's next level. That's like 40 chests of toilet paper. Of,
• 27:06
  like, I got you now, bud.
• 27:08
  >> Speaker C: You can do whatever you want with it there.
• 27:09
  >> Speaker B: Yeah. Hey, there you go. In the shower.
• 27:12
  Are you all bar soap or liquid soap?
• 27:15
  >> Speaker C: Lads, I'm both back and forth. I'll
• 27:17
  use both sometimes in one shower.
• 27:21
  Start off with the bar, because I
• 27:23
  feel like that's more of a cleanse.
• 27:25
  >> Speaker B: Yeah. Um, uh,
• 27:28
  irish spring. The green bars.
• 27:31
  >> Speaker C: Yeah, actually, I think so.
• 27:32
  >> Speaker B: There it is. That's the best, man.
• 27:36
  >> Speaker A: You guys aren't going to believe.
• 27:36
  >> Speaker C: Richard's, like, the only one branded for men.
• 27:39
  >> Speaker A: It's true, though.
• 27:41
  >> Speaker B: Yeah. Aaron, what's up?
• 27:43
  >> Speaker A: You're not going to believe this, though, but, uh, I use a
• 27:46
  bar, like, maybe once a week.
• 27:48
  >> Speaker B: Okay.
• 27:50
  >> Speaker A: I shower every day, but I don't use shampoo or
• 27:53
  anything. I use a bar maybe once a week.
• 27:54
  >> Speaker C: Yeah, you're not supposed to shampoo, like, only twice a week
• 27:57
  at most.
• 27:58
  >> Speaker A: Yeah, that too. But, I mean, I literally don't use shampoo.
• 28:01
  >> Speaker B: You got to get those oils going.
• 28:03
  >> Speaker C: Yeah, exactly.
• 28:05
  >> Speaker A: Um, I think I've been blessed with body odor that way. Some
• 28:08
  people always can't do that, but.
• 28:09
  >> Speaker B: Yeah, I don't know, dude, I'll get
• 28:12
  fresh. Especially when it's this time of year and it's
• 28:14
  hot like woofie. I just can't, man.
• 28:17
  >> Speaker C: Yeah, same. And, ah, I log around 50 pounds.
• 28:19
  >> Speaker A: Every day, so I'm like, oh, gosh.
• 28:24
  >> Speaker B: Um, do you all ever carve messages into your bars of
• 28:27
  soap?
• 28:29
  >> Speaker C: No. There's usually two.
• 28:30
  >> Speaker A: No, but I'm going to do anything.
• 28:32
  >> Speaker B: Leave your wife's little notes.
• 28:35
  >> Speaker C: She doesn't use my bar.
• 28:40
  Up and in its own little quarantine box.
• 28:42
  >> Speaker B: Oh, that's good. That's smart. Hey, um,
• 28:46
  question for you. Yeah?
• 28:49
  >> Speaker A: Have you ever done this to your wife where she's in the
• 28:52
  shower, and then you just take a glass of cold
• 28:55
  water, a bucket of cold water, and dump it on her?
• 28:57
  >> Speaker C: Not as bad as I thought.
• 29:00
  >> Speaker A: It could have been worse. I know.
• 29:03
  >> Speaker C: I don't know if I've done that to Fallon. No, I don't think
• 29:06
  so.
• 29:06
  >> Speaker A: I look forward to hearing about it.
• 29:08
  >> Speaker C: Have you ever, uh, peed on Caitlin
• 29:11
  in the shower?
• 29:12
  >> Speaker B: Yep.
• 29:13
  >> Speaker C: All right, good.
• 29:18
  >> Speaker A: As is tradition.
• 29:19
  >> Speaker C: Oh, I go face.
• 29:21
  >> Speaker A: Oh, my.
• 29:24
  >> Speaker B: Like, you're, like, kinking the hose and aiming
• 29:27
  it up for spray. It's like, okay. No.
• 29:30
  >> Speaker C: Oh, gosh. This reminds me of Corbett, actually.
• 29:33
  Who was it? Maybe it was,
• 29:37
  uh. I don't want to say the wrong name in case I'm wrong, but someone's
• 29:40
  telling me about how you can
• 29:43
  really force yourself to go pee but you clench. Basically,
• 29:46
  your aretha, so nothing's coming out and it
• 29:49
  hurts. But they were really drunk when they did it.
• 29:52
  >> Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
• 29:52
  >> Speaker C: You let go, dude, and that thing just shoots 20ft up in the air.
• 29:56
  And I was like, I don't think I'd
• 29:58
  ever be drunk enough to try that, to be, uh, honest. Yeah,
• 30:01
  dude, you could shoot it over a car from laying flat on your back. And
• 30:04
  I'm like, no, thanks
• 30:07
  for fun. Just cause
• 30:10
  yourself pain.
• 30:11
  >> Speaker B: Oh, my gosh.
• 30:13
  >> Speaker C: Uh, yeah, I'm thinking
• 30:16
  I had a.
• 30:16
  >> Speaker B: Buddy who did that in middle school,
• 30:19
  but it wasn't that long or that
• 30:21
  much. He just did it to pee really high on a
• 30:24
  shed. Um.
• 30:26
  Montana.
• 30:28
  >> Speaker C: There you go.
• 30:31
  >> Speaker B: Yeah. So how do you guys feel about
• 30:34
  baths? Where are you at on baths?
• 30:37
  >> Speaker A: Yeah.
• 30:38
  >> Speaker C: I don't know. I have to give my kids baths.
• 30:40
  >> Speaker B: Okay.
• 30:41
  >> Speaker C: I haven't taken a bath in
• 30:44
  probably 510 years.
• 30:45
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 30:45
  >> Speaker A: Since Vietnam, right?
• 30:46
  >> Speaker B: Yeah, right back in the swamp.
• 30:49
  Uh, are you all opposed to
• 30:52
  baths?
• 30:53
  >> Speaker C: No, not me specifically. I know my wife is very
• 30:56
  anti bath.
• 30:57
  >> Speaker B: Really?
• 31:00
  >> Speaker A: Uh, I think it's just the aspect.
• 31:01
  >> Speaker C: Of, like, sitting in this water with your essentially
• 31:04
  filth or whatever.
• 31:05
  >> Speaker B: That's it for me, too, man.
• 31:08
  >> Speaker C: I sleep in my bed with myself, so I'm
• 31:11
  like, man, that's filthy. Enough.
• 31:15
  >> Speaker A: I'm with Fallon. I'm team Fallon on this one.
• 31:18
  >> Speaker C: Yeah, um, it's just human
• 31:20
  soup.
• 31:22
  >> Speaker A: My shower is filthy too. It's like this rotten
• 31:25
  tub. And my in laws aren't going to fix the bathroom anytime soon, so
• 31:28
  I'm just, like, eating alive here.
• 31:31
  So maybe if I had a nicer tub, I'd be more willing.
• 31:34
  >> Speaker B: Yeah, that's fair.
• 31:36
  >> Speaker C: I want to take a tub. Hit a hot tub, right?
• 31:39
  >> Speaker B: Yes.
• 31:40
  >> Speaker C: Get all that chlorine in there.
• 31:41
  >> Speaker B: Moving too. Yeah, chlorine. And it's moving.
• 31:44
  >> Speaker A: You don't see the dead skin. It's fine.
• 31:48
  >> Speaker B: Um, so this next question.
• 31:51
  Have you all ever. Let's say you're in the shower,
• 31:54
  you're enjoying your shower, uh, and the
• 31:56
  urge hits. You have to take a
• 31:59
  shaz.
• 32:03
  Um, would you ever. So there's three
• 32:06
  options. There's three options, as I'm concerned. Uh, you either
• 32:09
  get out and you go do your
• 32:12
  deposit, and that's option one. And that's the popular
• 32:15
  option. But would you ever waffle stomp
• 32:17
  it? Just, uh,
• 32:22
  Bret's coming out fast with the.
• 32:24
  >> Speaker C: No, I would not
• 32:27
  know. I hate it. I
• 32:30
  get out, try to dry off. You're wiping wet. It
• 32:33
  sucks. But I couldn't bring myself
• 32:35
  to waffle.
• 32:36
  >> Speaker B: Just stomp the turd.
• 32:38
  >> Speaker C: Someone I knew.
• 32:41
  Give me a story. It's not anything crazy,
• 32:43
  but they're having one of those days where they're just having
• 32:46
  med and it's just straight liquid. They're in
• 32:49
  the shower and they're just like, oh, no, I'm not going
• 32:52
  to make it. So they just did in the shower and
• 32:55
  straight liquid, they're like, I didn't even need to stomp it down and just wet
• 32:58
  down the giant. Literally, your toilet
• 33:01
  is literally right outside your shower. Like, you can't hop out. Like, I've hopped
• 33:04
  out completely wet. You go and
• 33:07
  you're like, I'll do what I can do, but at
• 33:10
  least it's in the toilet. It's not in the shower where I'm
• 33:12
  standing. You're never going to get that clean.
• 33:15
  >> Speaker B: There's a lot of water, though.
• 33:17
  >> Speaker C: Yeah, you're never going to get clean enough.
• 33:19
  >> Speaker B: Aaron, would you do it?
• 33:21
  >> Speaker A: Would I do it? 100%. Um.
• 33:25
  Have I done it? No.
• 33:26
  >> Speaker B: Okay, well, there's hope for the future.
• 33:29
  >> Speaker C: Aaron has the bath drain, so he's have to
• 33:32
  hook over there. Just stomping it down with the little hand
• 33:35
  plug.
• 33:38
  Caitlin's like, it would probably depend what kind of drain you.
• 33:41
  Yeah, if you have just like, the regular drain with the holes in
• 33:44
  the bottom that you can't plug if you.
• 33:46
  >> Speaker B: Have a bath plug. Yeah. And
• 33:50
  even if you can just keep stomping, if you just keep
• 33:52
  stomping, it just keeps kind of breaking it up. Uh,
• 33:55
  it'll sort itself out if you add enough water.
• 33:58
  If you add enough water. Um, the third option.
• 34:02
  Uh, and this one, feel free to,
• 34:04
  uh. I won't tip my hand, but you
• 34:07
  poop and you catch it and then you reach out and
• 34:09
  toss it into the toilet.
• 34:11
  Uh, listen to a wild.
• 34:15
  >> Speaker C: I think I'd still rather just get water on the floor and walk
• 34:18
  out and around. Sit down.
• 34:22
  >> Speaker A: I don't think I've ever caught my own turd.
• 34:24
  >> Speaker B: Okay.
• 34:25
  >> Speaker C: I dissected my own poop, but, yeah, I don't think I've ever caught
• 34:28
  it.
• 34:29
  >> Speaker B: Well, I've caught it, like, I've pooped into like, a Walmart bag
• 34:32
  before. We were out camping
• 34:35
  and I was like, uh, I don't want to dig a hole. I'm just going to do it in the bag and throw it in
• 34:38
  the trash.
• 34:38
  >> Speaker A: But not your own hand, right?
• 34:40
  >> Speaker B: No, not bare hand. No, I've never bare handed it. Um,
• 34:45
  Bret.
• 34:51
  >> Speaker C: I'm just imagining this.
• 34:54
  >> Speaker B: It gives an image to relay in your brain.
• 34:58
  Have you all ever eaten or drank anything in the
• 35:01
  shower?
• 35:03
  >> Speaker A: Oh, yeah, almost every time.
• 35:06
  >> Speaker B: What are you eating and or drinking?
• 35:09
  >> Speaker C: I don't normally eat. I'll drink beer.
• 35:11
  >> Speaker B: Okay.
• 35:12
  >> Speaker C: Soda.
• 35:12
  >> Speaker B: Cold one.
• 35:13
  >> Speaker C: Like, uh, that?
• 35:15
  >> Speaker A: Yeah. Coffee? Beer. Mountain Dew?
• 35:18
  Water. Yeah, I brought bourbon in there.
• 35:22
  >> Speaker C: Classy. Classy.
• 35:24
  >> Speaker B: So the beverage, is it any
• 35:27
  food?
• 35:28
  >> Speaker C: Uh, I don't think shower.
• 35:30
  I mean, I've left it on the counter. Taking
• 35:33
  a bite?
• 35:35
  >> Speaker B: Yeah, but a sandwich?
• 35:38
  Sandwich.
• 35:38
  >> Speaker A: I think I got a donut in there. One.
• 35:40
  >> Speaker B: Doesn't it get, like, mad soggy?
• 35:43
  >> Speaker A: You got to be fast about it.
• 35:44
  >> Speaker B: Yeah. Okay. Got it. Yeah, that's fair. Um,
• 35:47
  very good. Uh, would you ever eat an orange as if it
• 35:50
  was an apple in the shower, say?
• 35:53
  >> Speaker C: I would.
• 35:55
  >> Speaker B: Very specific questions.
• 35:56
  >> Speaker A: Uh, that actually made me uncomfortable to think about. I don't know why. Of
• 35:59
  all the things I've done, like.
• 36:02
  >> Speaker B: People do this orange showers, they just sounds
• 36:05
  bad.
• 36:05
  >> Speaker C: Like m a eucalyptus plant in there. It's supposed to help
• 36:08
  open the sinuses pores.
• 36:11
  >> Speaker A: It's good for your skin. That sounds like sociopathic
• 36:14
  behavior.
• 36:15
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 36:16
  >> Speaker A: Not peeling your orange in the shower. Like what?
• 36:18
  >> Speaker C: Yeah, I brought this orange in
• 36:21
  here. Um,
• 36:24
  I have nowhere to throw the peel.
• 36:29
  >> Speaker A: That's the same guy who catches his poop in the shower.
• 36:31
  >> Speaker B: Yeah, that's the same person. He eats his
• 36:34
  orange and then just, uh.
• 36:37
  Would you all eat or drink something on the toilet?
• 36:40
  >> Speaker C: Yeah.
• 36:41
  >> Speaker B: Okay.
• 36:44
  >> Speaker A: It's a favorite activity. Make it worth your while.
• 36:47
  >> Speaker C: Got to get some soda.
• 36:49
  >> Speaker B: Two birds, one.
• 36:50
  >> Speaker C: I might, um, just take the computer there right now, actually, real quick.
• 36:52
  >> Speaker B: That's where I'm at.
• 36:55
  >> Speaker C: I got a question for you guys.
• 36:57
  >> Speaker B: There's the shower. I'm in here, man. We're in it.
• 37:00
  >> Speaker C: I was going to be in there, but I don't have it for that. Reaches.
• 37:02
  >> Speaker B: Yeah, you're good.
• 37:03
  >> Speaker C: Laptop. Do you guys
• 37:06
  poop with clothes on?
• 37:08
  >> Speaker B: Um, 95% of the time
• 37:12
  if I'm prepping for a shower,
• 37:15
  no, but I always poop naked.
• 37:17
  Every time.
• 37:19
  >> Speaker C: Every time?
• 37:19
  >> Speaker B: Uh, even in public?
• 37:20
  >> Speaker C: No.
• 37:21
  >> Speaker B: Okay.
• 37:22
  >> Speaker C: I mean, like, when I'm in the house somewhere, I'm comfortable.
• 37:25
  Yeah, strip down, dude. Take the pants, the shirt off. That way you
• 37:28
  don't have to be over know.
• 37:30
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 37:31
  >> Speaker C: Especially when you're wiping.
• 37:33
  >> Speaker B: You just tuck just.
• 37:34
  >> Speaker A: Bret, one of my favorite stories, dude, was at the
• 37:37
  church.
• 37:40
  We had the stall doors open, and we both just sent
• 37:43
  it. We're all just pooping naked. Some junior hire
• 37:45
  walks in. We're in high school in the youth
• 37:48
  center. Yeah.
• 37:54
  Our clothes are obviously in the middle of the bathroom.
• 38:00
  And we had a full conversation with the kid, and he didn't even go
• 38:03
  pee. He just walked right back.
• 38:06
  >> Speaker B: I need you to come pick me up. I'm uncomfortable.
• 38:09
  >> Speaker A: And then we got arrested.
• 38:11
  >> Speaker C: Classic. Classic. The doors weren't
• 38:14
  locking.
• 38:15
  >> Speaker A: In hindsight, we were the dumbest
• 38:18
  people.
• 38:20
  >> Speaker C: We're just getting them over a little stage fright, getting them ready
• 38:23
  for the real world.
• 38:24
  >> Speaker B: I had a similar experience with Dr.
• 38:27
  Derrickson's son at,
• 38:32
  like, we never locked the stall doors. And when somebody come
• 38:35
  in, we'd kick the door open and peek out
• 38:38
  in the mirror. And one day, um, his
• 38:41
  son came in. He was visiting somebody in the dorm, and he didn't live in the
• 38:44
  dorms. He came in, and I just kicked
• 38:46
  the thing open, and he's standing there like, what are you doing? And
• 38:49
  I said, oh, this is what we do here. And he just turned around and took right off.
• 38:52
  And I was like, this is what we do here. It's like,
• 38:55
  oh, man, we got to really
• 38:58
  measure what we. Yeah.
• 39:00
  >> Speaker A: Um, we were close to starting a colt in Davidson, I
• 39:02
  think.
• 39:03
  >> Speaker C: Yeah, that's probably why they split it
• 39:06
  up. Honestly, they're like, we need to get some women here.
• 39:09
  >> Speaker B: We need regulation on these guys.
• 39:11
  >> Speaker C: Um, there's too much testosterone for one
• 39:14
  building that was.
• 39:16
  >> Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah, it smelled like it
• 39:19
  sometimes too. Uh, unless you're in
• 39:22
  Gavin's room, and he had his little sensei in the
• 39:24
  corner.
• 39:26
  >> Speaker A: I love Gavin.
• 39:27
  >> Speaker B: Gavin's so funny.
• 39:29
  >> Speaker A: I miss that guy.
• 39:31
  >> Speaker B: Do you guys remember Matt Gibson at
• 39:33
  Corbin? Gibby?
• 39:35
  >> Speaker A: Didn't he do worship stuff? Guitar?
• 39:37
  >> Speaker B: Um, I don't know. He and Andrew
• 39:40
  Stenberg, soccer players. Uh,
• 39:43
  he came up with the dark shower. Uh,
• 39:46
  do you guys ever take a dark shower?
• 39:49
  >> Speaker C: The lights off?
• 39:50
  >> Speaker B: Yeah. No lights. Yeah,
• 39:54
  so it's my preferred shower. Um,
• 39:58
  I seek that out. I chase that.
• 40:00
  Um, Gibby's converted me almost
• 40:03
  completely.
• 40:05
  >> Speaker A: I'll have to do that intentionally. I don't notice when
• 40:07
  lights are on or off, and that's a personality flaw.
• 40:10
  So I probably take dark showers on accident more often.
• 40:13
  >> Speaker C: Are you even a dad? Do you not go around just turning the
• 40:16
  lights off all the time?
• 40:19
  >> Speaker A: Yeah. Penny can't reach him yet, but keelin hates me because I'll just go to bed. There's like
• 40:22
  40 lights on. I
• 40:25
  failed as a father.
• 40:27
  >> Speaker C: That's why I know where your thermostat is, man.
• 40:34
  >> Speaker B: Oh, my God.
• 40:34
  >> Speaker A: Dark showers. Dark showers.
• 40:36
  >> Speaker B: The dark showers. Gavin
• 40:39
  Lau, actually, he shared. It's kind of like you're being
• 40:42
  birthed into your day, so it's like, dark, and as your
• 40:45
  eyes, you're just there.
• 40:48
  >> Speaker A: And you rise into your new,
• 40:51
  um.
• 40:55
  >> Speaker B: You'Re. When you're wiping, are you a
• 40:57
  crumple or do you fold or do you roll a big
• 41:00
  mitt? What's your paper, um, situation
• 41:03
  when you go back?
• 41:04
  >> Speaker A: I love that.
• 41:05
  >> Speaker C: That's good. I'm, uh, a folder.
• 41:08
  >> Speaker B: Folder. Perfect.
• 41:10
  >> Speaker C: I mean, I'll crumple sometimes, but definitely a folder.
• 41:12
  >> Speaker A: Know, into holder.
• 41:16
  Um, heck, do I do. I got to think
• 41:18
  through my steps here. Yeah,
• 41:22
  I crumple that bad boy. I want, like, different
• 41:24
  textures. I want to be like a brain that's like
• 41:27
  scraping my butthole.
• 41:31
  >> Speaker B: I want different textures. Uh,
• 41:35
  perfect. Uh, thanks. Decreases
• 41:38
  for me, the crumple is too many
• 41:41
  variables. I get scared, uh, that I'm
• 41:44
  going to get it on it.
• 41:45
  >> Speaker C: Hold back finger.
• 41:46
  >> Speaker B: Yeah, sure.
• 41:48
  >> Speaker A: That is a danger of the trick.
• 41:50
  >> Speaker C: Or sometimes I've had it with the crumple where it rips and then your
• 41:53
  fingers just expose. So you got to fold to get that extra layer
• 41:55
  of protection.
• 41:57
  >> Speaker B: But the danger with the fold is if you don't get enough layers,
• 42:00
  you're going to hole punch yourself just right through.
• 42:03
  >> Speaker C: And it's like,
• 42:05
  hey, we're here.
• 42:10
  But I don't go like, who wipes like
• 42:12
  that? Uh, you take it kind of flat, right?
• 42:15
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 42:16
  >> Speaker C: Rub against.
• 42:19
  You're not really jamming a
• 42:22
  position to jam it like that.
• 42:25
  You guys wipe over or under?
• 42:28
  >> Speaker B: I mean, I reach back.
• 42:30
  >> Speaker C: Or front or back?
• 42:31
  >> Speaker B: Yeah, I reach back.
• 42:33
  >> Speaker A: Yeah, I usually have the old one two combo. Up,
• 42:36
  down.
• 42:37
  >> Speaker C: Yeah, I think I
• 42:40
  wipe front to.
• 42:41
  >> Speaker B: Back, but go back for it. There's a
• 42:44
  lot of science involved with that one.
• 42:49
  Um, last here. Uh, do you all have
• 42:52
  any bathroom pet peeves that they
• 42:55
  just fire you up when you see or have them happen in
• 42:58
  the bathroom?
• 43:02
  >> Speaker C: I don't think so.
• 43:03
  >> Speaker A: I've got one.
• 43:04
  >> Speaker B: Okay.
• 43:05
  >> Speaker A: Freaking toilet seat lids. When they're built like
• 43:08
  Neanderthals and your
• 43:10
  unit kind of flicks up and you pee through
• 43:13
  this lid, and then you, uh, just see pee going down the face of the
• 43:16
  toilet. Why are my feet wet? Oh, there's a pillow of
• 43:19
  pee on the ground. Because the lip didn't
• 43:21
  push the old unit down, which
• 43:24
  could just be a commentary on my unit size.
• 43:28
  >> Speaker B: Well, you had the kickstand, if I remember
• 43:31
  right. You had the kickstand.
• 43:33
  >> Speaker A: Yeah.
• 43:34
  >> Speaker B: Do you remember this?
• 43:35
  >> Speaker C: The squatty?
• 43:36
  >> Speaker B: No. Okay,
• 43:39
  Aaron, I will take this out if you
• 43:42
  want, but I distinctly remember being
• 43:44
  in college and you walking into a dorm room or the
• 43:47
  bathroom at one point and your
• 43:50
  wiener exposed, and
• 43:53
  it's just kind of up. It's not
• 43:55
  torqued, but it's got the kickstand. And I remember you saying
• 43:58
  it's like, I have a kickstand.
• 44:01
  >> Speaker A: Yes. Uh, I can't go
• 44:03
  commando because it just looks like I'm pointing
• 44:06
  and I'm not.
• 44:09
  >> Speaker B: He's pitch intense.
• 44:10
  >> Speaker C: It's, uh, his compass. It just always points north.
• 44:16
  >> Speaker A: We can decide if we want to.
• 44:17
  >> Speaker B: Heads back between your legs. It's like, oh, no.
• 44:20
  >> Speaker A: Uh, we can decide if you want to cut that or not, but, yeah, that is the nature.
• 44:23
  >> Speaker B: Yeah. Hey, you let me know because I will tell you it's
• 44:26
  not the most randy thing that's been said,
• 44:29
  so you pray on that
• 44:32
  one? Uh, um.
• 44:34
  Yeah, that's
• 44:37
  it, man, I appreciate you guys doing this. Um,
• 44:42
  it's a wild ride.
• 44:44
  >> Speaker C: Uh, always a good day when you get to talk about poop.
• 44:47
  >> Speaker B: Yeah. Do you guys have any bathroom words of
• 44:49
  wisdom to leave folks with?
• 44:52
  >> Speaker C: Don't go to ampm bathroom.
• 44:54
  >> Speaker B: Okay.
• 44:54
  >> Speaker A: Wise, do you have a specific city in mind,
• 44:57
  Bret?
• 44:59
  >> Speaker C: The one that's on the way home from Corbin?
• 45:03
  I think it's like, exit one. Four or 14
• 45:06
  right there. Unclean.
• 45:09
  >> Speaker B: Wow.
• 45:09
  >> Speaker C: Sorry, last part of your. I'm lactose
• 45:12
  intolerant. I drank a half gallon of egg dog just before
• 45:15
  Christmas break. Coming home, I'm like,
• 45:18
  I got to go poop. I'm trying to gas up my car, and I'm like, this isn't
• 45:21
  happening. I stop gassing my truck. I run over to the
• 45:23
  bathroom, like, hey, you guys got bathroom? Get the key, run
• 45:26
  around, unlock the door. About to sit down. I
• 45:29
  look, there's just pee everywhere on the
• 45:31
  toilet. Poop smears in there and stuff. And I'm
• 45:34
  like, dude, I don't have time to wipe this toilet
• 45:37
  seat. M down. I usually throw toilet paper on public bathrooms.
• 45:40
  Like, to sit on that. Not those stupid seat things.
• 45:42
  >> Speaker B: The seat things are ridiculous.
• 45:44
  >> Speaker C: I just stand above it. I'm squatting. Well, I
• 45:47
  guess I wasn't a good aimer that day
• 45:50
  because just fat liquid pile, like,
• 45:53
  not diarrhea, because it's chunky enough to stay in one, but
• 45:56
  right on the seat. And I was like,
• 46:02
  don't think this is the worst shape this toilet has been in.
• 46:04
  Yeah, I left it naturally
• 46:08
  for the next guy. I was like, I tried to wipe it
• 46:10
  a little bit, but I don't got cleaning products in here. If I
• 46:13
  clean it too much, they're going to not know and sit on
• 46:16
  someone's.
• 46:18
  >> Speaker B: If I clean it too much, they won't know.
• 46:21
  >> Speaker A: Yeah, that's actually valid. That's valid.
• 46:24
  >> Speaker C: Looking out for the public here.
• 46:25
  >> Speaker B: Yeah, so don't do the ampm.
• 46:28
  >> Speaker C: Yeah, it's just not the ampm.
• 46:30
  >> Speaker B: I dig it. Sweet, guys.
• 46:32
  >> Speaker C: That's it.
• 46:33
  >> Speaker B: This has been another episode of Privy. Thank you so much for joining
• 46:36
  us, and thanks to our, uh, two guests for being
• 46:38
  here. I loved chatting and hearing from you guys. Love you
• 46:41
  guys. Uh, as always, leave us a rating
• 46:44
  review. A five star option is our preferred. Uh,
• 46:47
  and we'll read some of those if you leave them on Apple
• 46:50
  podcasts. We'd love to read them on the show. Uh, follow
• 46:53
  us at Privycast on all social media. Follow
• 46:56
  us. See what sort of shenanigans we're getting up to over there.
• 46:59
  As always, you can shoot us an email.
• 47:01
  Privycast@gmail.com. We'd love to hear from
• 47:03
  you, uh, and give us episode suggestions,
• 47:06
  comments, questions. Uh, just say hi. We love
• 47:09
  to hear from folks. And so it's cool to see, uh, if you
• 47:12
  have the courage to admit that you listen to this nonsense.
• 47:15
  Um, love you guys. Thanks for listening. As always, we
• 47:18
  want to thank Kevin McLeod for the use of bar room
• 47:21
  ballet as our intro and outro music. You can
• 47:24
  find Kevin's music@incompetent.com
• 47:27
  his music is licensed under Creative Commons license
• 47:29
  at. Thanks Kevin.
• 47:32
  This has been another episode of Privy. Thanks so much for
• 47:35
  joining us. And now, as always,
• 47:39
  don't forget to flush.
• 47:45
  >> Speaker A: Yo.
• 47:45
  >> Speaker B: Estebridge Inn Suites has a weak
• 47:48
  flusher. Just saying.