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128. Progress Is Not Linear · Impact Ready

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  Welcome to Impact Ready, a show dedicated to helping you elevate
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  your impact in the world. I'm Steph Safra, your host.
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  Let's explore the power of showing up with intention and
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  energy each day. This is for those who seek to
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  make life truly meaningful. Get ready for impact.
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  Hello team, welcome to the show. Hope you're having an awesome
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  week in this episode. Today I am going to risk talking
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  about something that might seemingly be very obvious to
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  you. This episode is going to be
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  centered around an idea, and that idea is that progress is
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  not linear. Progress is not a straight line.
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  And right now you might be shaking your head saying, OK,
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  duh, Steph, I already know that progress is not linear for sure.
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  But I'm going to give you a very gentle reminder that even though
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  we might know something, common sense is not always common
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  practice. We might understand logically
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  that progress is not linear, but we all get stuck in the trap of
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  feeling like we're behind or feeling like we're not doing
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  enough or getting frustrated in our day-to-day life because
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  we're not seeing the forward momentum or the results that we
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  expect to see. And so that's actually what this
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  conversation is really about, our misguided expectations.
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  So we are going to look at that through the lens of progress and
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  how we expect that progress is going to be linear in our lives.
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  I can speak to this in a very expert way because I am the
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  classic example of somebody who has common sense but doesn't
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  always put it into common practice.
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  I'm the person who has struggled historically, was feeling like
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  I'm not doing enough, feeling like I'm falling behind.
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  It's that people pleasing perfectionism saboteur that
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  comes in loud when you are thinking about God.
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  I just really want to get to that next milestone in my life
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  or I really want to accomplish this achievement, this accolade.
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  It's a very common experience for people and so I think it's
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  something that we need to talk about more often.
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  I come from a very athlete oriented mindset, so this idea
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  of the hustle and grind mentality, it very much
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  resonates with me. Unfortunately, the flip side of
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  that is it can feel really frustrating and uncomfortable
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  when you don't feel like you're making progress in your life.
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  Thankfully, with age and wisdom and life experience and all the
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  work that I've done with patients and clients, it has
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  sunk in for me at a very deep cellular level that progress is
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  not linear. And I know we all want it to be.
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  We all want that constant upward trajectory.
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  But I think every one of us can agree that that's just not how
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  it goes. That's not how life works.
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  And we see the evidence of that all around us.
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  I always tell my patients healing is not linear.
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  I have to say it dozens of times a week because people are so
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  often frustrated with their health journeys.
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  You know, we all want fast progress.
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  We want things to improve quickly.
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  We don't like plateaus, we don't like pauses, especially when it
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  comes to our health. I totally get it.
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  I'm very much the same way. Nobody likes a plateau.
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  Nobody likes to feel stuck for any length of time.
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  But as I always say to those patients, there's so many things
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  that are happening in the body behind the scenes that you can't
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  see. The body's doing a lot of work.
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  It's putting in a lot of energy into healing or losing weight or
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  recovering from an injury or an illness.
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  And just because you can't see what's happening doesn't mean
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  that it's not happening. Which means that this all has so
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  much more to do with our definition of progress than the
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  actual act of progress happening or not.
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  So how do we define progress? How do we define progress in our
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  society and our culture? Well, largely we define progress
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  based on what we can see. We would all probably agree that
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  progress can look like record-breaking income for this
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  month in your business, or it looks like the happy marriage or
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  the new car or the success in your career.
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  Rarely do we see somebody talking about progress in terms
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  of the hours spent solving a problem late at night, or the
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  lessons that we learned from that big failure we had last
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  week, or the missed workouts that led to us understanding how
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  much we actually need to work out.
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  The late night conversations that you have in your head with
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  somebody when you're trying to work through a conflict.
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  Progress is not those things. Progress is shiny, it's
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  exciting, right? And these are all lessons that
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  we've learned since we were little kids.
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  You know, I, I'm sure that you've seen the picture of the
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  iceberg where you see the tip of it and it says, this is what
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  people see. And what they see is success,
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  accolades, good results, fame, whatever it might be.
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  And then in the visual, you can see below the surface of the
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  water is the bulk of the iceberg.
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  It's all the stuff that you don't get to see in the light of
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  day, like the mistakes and the long nights and the failures, or
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  the redos, or the 10 iterations of your business that you've
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  gone through, or the starting over, or the feeling frustrated
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  with technology, the tears, the conflicts between team members.
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  That's all stuff that is below the surface.
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  It's the stuff that we don't see.
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  But we all have these preconceived notions about what
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  progress should look like and what success should look like,
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  that it should be the straight line that progress should be
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  happening every single day and it should be on a steady
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  incline. Who actually experiences life
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  like that? Who experiences progress like
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  that? It's not me.
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  I don't know about you, but that's not how I've experienced
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  progress in my life. Not all the time.
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  About 5 or 6 years ago my wife got me a guitar and she told me
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  that I needed to chill out and so I I think she got me this
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  guitar to get me to do something creative and you know keep my
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  mind occupied and my brain busy. Give me a hobby and I actually
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  love playing the guitar. I love practicing the guitar it
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  is very calming for me. But something that I noticed
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  every time that I practice is how non linear my progress is.
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  I use this app called Guitar Tab and it lets me play my favorite
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  songs and so I'll often sit down and practice some warmups before
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  I start playing chords and diving into songs.
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  And what I notice is that some days my fingers feel like
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  they're not my own. I cannot make them work right.
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  It feels like they're put on wrong and I'm hitting the wrong
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  strings and the notes are sounding all muffled and the
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  tone is off despite the fact that I've played these notes and
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  chords so many times. For some reason, on some days I
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  can't get my hands to move right, and then other days I'll
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  sit down to play and my fingers move perfectly without even
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  having to think about it. The notes are just ringing out
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  crystal clear. My fingers are finding the
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  strings so well, and what I've come to recognize is that it
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  often takes me a few days of fumbling around before my hands
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  start working the way that I want them to.
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  And then all the sudden I'll have a breakthrough and I'll
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  start to be able to play chords that I couldn't play before.
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  Or I'll be able to hit a transition in a song with
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  complete ease, whereas before I was messing it up every time.
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  It was almost impossible for me to move my hands that fast
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  before. And it takes these periods of
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  feeling stuck to then have a breakthrough that allows me to
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  feel this big jump in progress in my playing.
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  And isn't this the way for so many things in life?
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  You know, we get so frustrated with a project that we might be
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  working on, and then all of a sudden you have this big
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  breakthrough and everything seems to fall into place.
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  Or we feel a transition coming in our life, maybe with a job or
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  a relationship, and we can feel so stuck in it, like we aren't
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  making any progress at all. And then all of a sudden
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  something unlocks and we're able to see this new opportunity.
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  Or maybe there's some new ease in a relationship that wasn't
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  there before. That is exactly how things go so
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  often in life. Progress is not linear.
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  It's so much more often a twisted jumble of yarn than it
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  is a straight line. And when I think about why this
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  might be, I come up with a few reasons that makes sense to my
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  brain. First of all, I think that
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  sometimes we have to put in the reps before something really
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  sinks in. And I know this makes sense to
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  you. I'm sure that you've experienced
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  this before, but just like in the case of the guitar, you have
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  to put in a few reps, some practice sessions before you can
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  unlock that next level of progress.
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  We have to create those those nervous system connections and
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  lay down those neural pathways for things to start working
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  efficiently and synchronistically.
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  I also think that amongst all the variables in the world, all
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  the humans, all the factors, all the things that have to fall
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  into place, sometimes it's about things lining up properly for us
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  to be able to see that jump in progress.
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  If we're talking about looking for a new job opportunity, maybe
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  it's that other people in the company are shifting roles and
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  making space for you. Maybe there's somebody that
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  needs to move into your city to offer you that right role, that
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  right job. We will never fully understand
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  the timing and the complexity of all these human dynamics and
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  ecosystems. It's just too big, it's too
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  vast, but maybe things have to line up and createspace for you
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  to have that next breakthrough and see that next big jump in
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  progress. And then also sometimes I think
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  that pauses and progress and the plateaus that we experience can
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  be times where there's healing happening or times where we're
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  making peace with things or getting the courage up to take
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  action, or getting so frustrated that we just become willing to
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  take the risk no matter what. It's like we're gathering more
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  information and data so that we can make the next right
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  decision. So all that to say, don't be
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  distracted by the disillusionment that there has
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  to be forward momentum all the time.
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  I know that's what we see on social media and in the digital
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  world is everybody's forward progress.
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  But what you don't see is all the tangled up mess of yarn
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  behind the scenes. You don't see the arguments with
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  the spouse about money. You don't see the long sleepless
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  nights trying to figure out problems in your business or
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  your relationships. You don't see the fatigue or the
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  mistakes or the conversations with friends trying to support
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  each other through hard times. There's so much that we don't
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  see. You don't know people's stories,
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  and frankly, you're not supposed to.
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  It's none of your business and not everything is meant to be
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  visible or transparent for all to see.
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  We are all entitled to our own work behind the scenes and in
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  the shadows. It's necessary and it's just as
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  it should be. I think that if you're living
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  and acting with intention, if you're doing the work and you're
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  putting in energy where it needs to be going, then progress is
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  going to happen. You will be able to have the
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  impact that you want to have in your life.
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  Just don't expect it to be linear.
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  So my challenge to you this week is just to keep moving forward,
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  is to keep going and to accept the fact that if you're feeling
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  like you're in a place of stuckness, it doesn't mean that
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  you are not creating progress. It doesn't mean that you don't
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  have forward momentum. It might just mean that you were
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  in a moment where you have to put in a few more reps to unlock
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  that next level of progress, or you are creating new neural
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  pathways or things out in the world that we cannot see are
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  lining up for your next big unlock of progress.
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  So that's all for today. I hope this conversation helps
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  ease your mind a little bit this week.
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  I want you to know that you're doing a great job.
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  And even if you feel like you're not making a lot of progress, I
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  guarantee there is good stuff that is coming for you and that
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  is happening in your life. So thank you for listening.
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  And as always, thank you for being ready to Impact.
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  Thanks for listening to Impact Ready.
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  I hope today's episode inspired you to own your impact and
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  recognize that you are powerful. By elevating our energy and
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  awareness, we can create exponential change in this life.
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  If you enjoyed today's insights, share them with a friend and
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  subscribe to the show for more. I truly appreciate you.
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  Thanks again for being here.