Latest / Nick and Kristen in the Podcast / If I Were You, This is What I'd Do

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If I Were You, This is What I'd Do · Nick and Kristen in the Podcast

• 0:10
  Hello, and welcome to the Nick and Kristen in the podcast.
• 0:13
  Apparently, I'm what people call a complainer.
• 0:17
  And I'm not the only one. I guess you got called a
• 0:19
  complainer, too. So recently, OK, Kristen and I
• 0:22
  went on a hike. Yeah.
• 0:24
  And the way that I express myself is by complaining.
• 0:30
  And we had friends that went with us and we got a message
• 0:34
  later after the hike was over that they were, they felt
• 0:38
  terrible for bringing us on this hike because they think that we
• 0:43
  had a terrible time. We did not have a terrible time.
• 0:46
  I'm a complainer and Kristen has the knee problem.
• 0:48
  OK, yeah. So like, I, I had a lovely time
• 0:51
  and the whole time and the whole time I kept saying, oh, isn't
• 0:53
  this nice and stuff like that. But there was one point where we
• 0:55
  had to go down a steep hill and my knee was acting up.
• 0:59
  I've had knee injuries. And so I was like leaning on
• 1:02
  this railing and my friend checked on me and she's like,
• 1:04
  are you OK? I'm like, oh, sorry, like this
• 1:06
  is really hard for me going down really steep hills.
• 1:08
  And she felt really bad. And so that's what she was
• 1:10
  referring to with me. But you did not when you opened
• 1:14
  your mouth, it was something negative about the hike.
• 1:17
  Every single. There was always like, oh,
• 1:20
  there's a lot of bugs and oh, it's another hill.
• 1:23
  Do we really have to go up this hill to see this?
• 1:25
  Like, oh, man, it's hot out. Oh, like this is really
• 1:29
  strenuous. I didn't think it was going to
• 1:30
  be like this. So the fact that they were like,
• 1:32
  yeah, Nick had a miserable time. It's like, yeah, of course.
• 1:36
  And then I I brought this to your attention and you're like,
• 1:38
  well, this is how I get that stuff out.
• 1:41
  And I was like, well then you can't expect people to think
• 1:43
  you're having a lovely time. I was, I don't think I
• 1:46
  complained that much. Like I think that I was huffing
• 1:50
  it up some high ass hills like but I wasn't like God, I hate
• 1:53
  this hill like but I would get to the top and be like let's not
• 1:56
  do that again. Like you know what I mean?
• 1:58
  Like it wasn't. You made it known that you were
• 2:00
  not having fun. Well, nobody likes climbing up
• 2:03
  steep ass hills, right? Is that just me?
• 2:06
  No. But you expect to do that on a
• 2:07
  hike? Yeah, no.
• 2:08
  And so I was like taking my time and I was taking pictures and I
• 2:11
  was having fun and I was enjoying it, but I was out of
• 2:13
  breath because I'm chubby and I don't do this.
• 2:16
  But yeah, I, I, I get why. I understand, yes, but like.
• 2:20
  So are you shocked that you're a complainer?
• 2:22
  Because this is something I've known about you since like, day
• 2:25
  one. No, it's like, it's how I've, I
• 2:27
  mean, I've been complaining for forever.
• 2:28
  That's what I do. I'm a complainer.
• 2:29
  You're a hater, yeah. I'm not a hater.
• 2:31
  No, you are. You're right about things
• 2:33
  myself. Everywhere you go, you find
• 2:34
  something negative to say about it.
• 2:36
  And it's one of the reasons I love you because I'm also kind
• 2:38
  of like that. I'll be like, Oh my gosh, like
• 2:40
  look at this, this display or, you know, like I don't do it.
• 2:43
  I don't do it about people, but like I'll be like, Oh my gosh,
• 2:46
  like in what world would I ever wear that, like to a mannequin
• 2:49
  or something like that? Like we're those people not
• 2:52
  cruel towards people. We're not bullies but like we do
• 2:55
  make snide comments to each other which is complaining.
• 2:58
  Yeah, and like, I try to be funny about it, if anything, so
• 3:02
  that people are entertained. You are.
• 3:04
  But yeah, I wish I could stop like I want.
• 3:06
  I guess I'll try and stop next time, but I don't know if
• 3:09
  there's gonna. Be a next.
• 3:10
  I don't know if there's a next time or or if I can even stop.
• 3:13
  It's just something like, I'm not, yeah, like I'm not
• 3:16
  complaining to people. I'm just, I'm just verbalizing
• 3:19
  my discomfort. I think it would be different,
• 3:21
  Nick, is if you did it equally positive, because that's my
• 3:24
  problem with you in just our relationship in general, because
• 3:28
  you're always pointing out the negative things that, like, I do
• 3:31
  or say or whatever, and there's never the positive to back it up
• 3:34
  with. And so when my feelings get hurt
• 3:37
  and I go, well, you made me feel bad about this.
• 3:40
  You go, well, that's just who I am.
• 3:41
  And it's like, OK, yeah. But like that does great on
• 3:44
  people. And so I'm not asking you to get
• 3:46
  rid of the sassiness, but I'm asking you to bring in some
• 3:49
  positivity like a thank you every now and then or and I
• 3:52
  appreciate you feel like I've gotten.
• 3:54
  Better. Have you?
• 3:56
  Haven't I? Have you been working on?
• 3:58
  That I have. You have.
• 3:59
  I have. I try to say thank you all the
• 4:02
  time. I really, yes, I guess you
• 4:05
  haven't noticed, maybe you don't, maybe you don't
• 4:07
  appreciate the maybe you don't hear the positive, maybe that's
• 4:11
  there, but like you have a negative outlook.
• 4:14
  It's possible. So you're like, oh, that doesn't
• 4:16
  register? Or that every time I say
• 4:17
  something nice, you disagree. What was the last thing you
• 4:20
  thanked anybody for? Well, I thanked you for working
• 4:23
  so hard and keeping us alive and having a backup job and all that
• 4:26
  sort of stuff. I when I'd like.
• 4:28
  I've done it since like 6 times since we've been unemployed.
• 4:32
  See, it's not this, it's not that.
• 4:34
  I'm not saying it. Maybe.
• 4:35
  You're just not doing it well. Are you on your knees when
• 4:38
  you're saying it? Because I in passing, I'm not
• 4:40
  going to register it. I.
• 4:41
  Have to like. I need Oh my yes, like I need it
• 4:46
  presented with a chocolate cake or something, yes.
• 4:48
  Well, then you'd be distracted by the chocolate cake.
• 4:50
  It's. True.
• 4:51
  I'll be like, why am I eating this?
• 4:52
  What are you saying? I don't know.
• 4:53
  Yeah, this is good cake. New segment alert.
• 4:57
  It's called 90 seconds of nerd. I feel like this is 15 minutes
• 5:08
  of nerve every day I. Want to take this minute and a
• 5:10
  half to talk about something? This is going to be about
• 5:13
  bowling of. Course it is.
• 5:14
  Just so you know, there's a video call or there's a new show
• 5:17
  called Born to Bowl, and I wanted to show you a little bit
• 5:20
  of it. This is my first CBS season,
• 5:23
  these guys. Are the most.
• 5:24
  Competitive people, I guess. I'm the Bob Ross of bowling.
• 5:27
  You got to take the hair out. I just started.
• 5:30
  Doing the stretches, I was kind. Of born into bowling.
• 5:36
  To win a U.S. Open trophy was so emotional.
• 5:39
  There's actually a tear still on it.
• 5:41
  So this is whole show about bowling and about behind the
• 5:45
  scenes of bowling. And I want to say that I'm I'm
• 5:47
  enjoying it thoroughly. And do you want to say?
• 5:50
  That like I want I'm just like, I'm I'm surprised that I've been
• 5:53
  liking it so much like it's such a different world than I thought
• 5:56
  it was going to be so bowling very hard, very hard to be good
• 5:59
  at this. And so it's got an angle from
• 6:02
  every like bowler, like this new guy, this EJ Taggart, who's like
• 6:06
  the new hotness. And then there's Jason Belmonte,
• 6:08
  who's the old hotness. But like there's these young
• 6:11
  kids that are coming in and changing like it's just so it's
• 6:14
  more interesting that I thought I was going to be.
• 6:15
  So if you if you're not into bowling and you didn't think
• 6:18
  that this was going to be on your radar, I highly recommend
• 6:20
  watching this and learning about behind the scenes of the PBA
• 6:23
  because I thought all these guys were like loaded, like all the
• 6:26
  golfers. Like I assume all the golfers
• 6:28
  are loaded. Like at least the top ten
• 6:30
  players in the world all have a bunch of money, but like they
• 6:32
  are living paycheck to paycheck unless you're EJ Taggart or
• 6:35
  Jason Belmonte. So Jason Belmonte is an
• 6:38
  Australian bowler who's like he's got the most titles of PBA
• 6:41
  like ever. And so he has a shoe line that
• 6:45
  says his name on it. And he's like has a huge home in
• 6:47
  Australia. Like he's set, but he's on.
• 6:49
  He's aging out. He thinks that he's getting old,
• 6:53
  but he's like, he's still top five competitor everywhere we
• 6:55
  go. Like everyone's like call him
• 6:56
  like, oh, the old guy and he's like, that's going to hurt.
• 6:59
  But he changed the game. The only reason people bowl 2
• 7:02
  handed now is because of this. And so and then now EJ Taggart,
• 7:06
  I'm assuming we're going to go into him in the final episode.
• 7:08
  We haven't really delved into him yet.
• 7:09
  He's the the one that's like the new hotness.
• 7:12
  Yeah, you were telling me all about this and like, I don't,
• 7:16
  you know what I expected out of the bowling world.
• 7:18
  But like you were talking about some of the personalities of
• 7:20
  these bowlers and how like some of them are just downright like
• 7:23
  mean and like cruel and like very competitive and.
• 7:27
  It makes sense because I bowl with people like that.
• 7:29
  They just get angry about bowling and it's like, oh, I
• 7:31
  imagine that, I thought. That went away.
• 7:33
  Yeah, I thought that went away, but no, Like they're bowling for
• 7:35
  their lives. Yes.
• 7:37
  But they're bowling to make rent for one month.
• 7:40
  Like they're not bowling for $1,000,000.
• 7:42
  They're bowling just to make a rent.
• 7:44
  And then on the offseasons, they're going back to the other
• 7:46
  like forklift jobs, like you would never know that these
• 7:49
  people are bowlers. And at some point I just kind of
• 7:52
  go, well, why are we doing this then?
• 7:54
  Because. They love the game.
• 7:55
  Most of them, like a lot of them, don't.
• 7:56
  Act like it. Yeah.
• 7:57
  Well, that's, yeah, that's something that well, because you
• 7:59
  can make $100,000 if you win a tournament.
• 8:02
  If you win 5 tournaments, that's 500 days, Yeah.
• 8:04
  But if you win five of them in a year, you win $500,000 for.
• 8:07
  That oh, there's more than one. Yeah, there's, oh, there's like.
• 8:09
  40 or something like that. Yeah, but that's if you win.
• 8:12
  If you don't win, if you're like the 7th greatest bowler in the
• 8:15
  world, hell, you're top ten, that's great, but you're getting
• 8:17
  nothing. Yeah.
• 8:18
  I don't know if it's like tiered or not, but like if you win
• 8:22
  third do you get like $5000 or you know what I mean?
• 8:26
  Like, I get that. It's just like, yeah, unless
• 8:28
  you're these two guys, you're getting bupkis.
• 8:31
  Really. Yeah.
• 8:32
  And I just sort of feel like at the end of the day, even if I
• 8:35
  was pursuing something, it's just like a hobby because
• 8:37
  they're spending their entire lives on the road.
• 8:38
  Yeah. Like they're.
• 8:39
  Like they've. Never seen their families,
• 8:41
  They're living in hotel rooms. They stayed like they have
• 8:44
  roommates, like the top ten bowlers.
• 8:46
  They're like staying with each. Other like the Holiday Inn, like
• 8:48
  they're not at The Four Seasons. Like this is a rough, rough
• 8:52
  life. And I just look at it and maybe
• 8:54
  just I'm a creature of comfort, but I look at it and I go, why
• 8:56
  on earth would you just give up that union forklift job that you
• 9:00
  could be doing year round, spending time with your family
• 9:03
  and bowling on the weekend? There's got to be money in the
• 9:05
  placements, like because like I just did the US Open
• 9:08
  Championship and they pay out to like 4000 people.
• 9:11
  Yeah, the number one gets 40,000 and then like it trickles down
• 9:14
  from there. So I'm imagining they're getting
• 9:16
  something and I don't, I think they have to pay for their own
• 9:19
  hotel. They get all the balls for free.
• 9:21
  I'm assuming. Like it's just, it's a lot of
• 9:23
  these guys grew up in bowling alleys.
• 9:25
  So it's just like, oh, like what else you going to do?
• 9:27
  It's something you're really good at.
• 9:28
  It's something you love, like you love the game.
• 9:30
  You just get angry at it. Like cuz it's an angry at game.
• 9:32
  It's one of the. Games, I guess I just, I think
• 9:34
  it's, I don't know, I like I'm a creature of comfort.
• 9:37
  I want to know I'm going to be set.
• 9:38
  It turned me off from wanting to be apba bowler like, which I
• 9:42
  never was going to be. But like, you know, you dream
• 9:44
  sometimes you're like, well, maybe I if I focus and I get
• 9:47
  really good at it, maybe I can start competing in bigger
• 9:50
  tournaments. You don't want to eat the free
• 9:51
  continental breakfast at the Fairfield Inn in Temecula?
• 9:54
  No. OK.
• 9:55
  Just so that's my 90 seconds. A nerd that was a little longer
• 9:59
  than that, yeah. There's also another new segment
• 10:02
  that. I've come up.
• 10:03
  For Kristen, it's called If I were you, this is what I would
• 10:07
  do. So it's a new therapy segment
• 10:18
  with Kristen saying that what she would say to someone who
• 10:20
  presented this issue to her. And just a reminder, this is not
• 10:24
  advice. Kristen is a marriage and family
• 10:26
  therapist, but she is not your therapist.
• 10:28
  So dear Kristen, this is real. My husband's best friend was
• 10:33
  caught with AI porn on his phone, including content made of
• 10:37
  me. He had taken photos from
• 10:40
  Instagram and turned them into AI generated clips of me, his
• 10:43
  mom, his sisters, his girlfriend, and others.
• 10:47
  We were able to go in and delete everything from his phone.
• 10:50
  My husband wants to cut him off out of our life completely which
• 10:53
  I support but I work with this guy.
• 10:56
  I'm considering going to HR because I'm uncomfortable around
• 10:59
  him. Should we hear him out first or
• 11:01
  just cut him off? No go to HR, report him and cut
• 11:07
  him out of your. Life but it didn't happen at
• 11:09
  work. Is she able to report him to HR
• 11:12
  because like just because you're, I mean, you can say he
• 11:14
  shouldn't get fired for this, right?
• 11:16
  Well, well, I don't know. It depends.
• 11:18
  Is he a school teacher? Maybe he's.
• 11:21
  Either way, it's I don't know of kids.
• 11:23
  Right. So he's.
• 11:25
  Not breaking any laws. Porn's porn.
• 11:27
  Sure, that's fine. It's the deep fake stuff, right?
• 11:31
  It's kind of porn is fine if that's fine in your relationship
• 11:36
  and that's something that you've negotiated in, in a healthy
• 11:38
  relationship. I don't care about any of that
• 11:40
  unless it's addictive and we're calling in sick to work about
• 11:43
  it. But like the issue becomes when
• 11:45
  you start putting real faces to that because now we're creating
• 11:51
  digital porn of that person. So now you're creating unknowing
• 11:56
  deep fakes of people that you know but they're not.
• 11:59
  Sharing it does that. Mean you don't know that though.
• 12:01
  I don't like. So there would be an I would, I
• 12:04
  would argue that there needs to be more investigation of like,
• 12:07
  hey, where is this going? How is this getting shared?
• 12:10
  What's going on? Because that could be highly
• 12:13
  illegal. That could be seen as like
• 12:15
  revenge porn because it, even if it's not you and the AI world is
• 12:21
  the wild, Wild West West right now, we don't have any rules or
• 12:24
  regulations around it. So yes, like I would report it
• 12:28
  because I think that it needs to be documented somewhere.
• 12:31
  I would go to the police. I would say this is what's
• 12:34
  happening. I don't know if you have a task
• 12:35
  force dedicated to this kind of AI technology, but I want you to
• 12:39
  be aware of it. And you can scrub like the dark
• 12:42
  web looking for things like that, seeing if it's being
• 12:44
  shared anywhere. And then I would also probably
• 12:46
  cut this person out of my life. OK.
• 12:48
  So like you're thinking that they didn't go far enough by
• 12:50
  cutting them off? No, I think that you need to
• 12:53
  protect yourself legally if your face is going to be put
• 12:55
  unwillingly and unknowingly on a naked body, because then it can
• 13:00
  be perceived as you. Yeah, I mean, how do you even
• 13:03
  track all that stuff? They could have AI port of us.
• 13:05
  100% like, I don't know, you never know.
• 13:08
  But The thing is this person does know and so there are steps
• 13:12
  that they should take to protect themselves.
• 13:14
  Whether it will protect them or not is.
• 13:16
  Now there's no proof because they've gone and deleted all
• 13:18
  the. Videos.
• 13:18
  But I think it's one of those things that you could absolutely
• 13:20
  have a paper trail on, and I think that you have to protect
• 13:24
  yourself even through these kinds of friendships, OK.
• 13:28
  There you go. There's your advice.
• 13:30
  And once again, Chris is not your therapist, No, and she's
• 13:33
  not giving advice. She's.
• 13:34
  Just what would I do? If I were you, this is what I
• 13:36
  would do this. Is what I'd.
• 13:37
  Do this is what I'd do. All right, it's time for Nick's
• 13:40
  song of the week. Lovely.
• 13:42
  We're going to. It's Friday already.
• 13:43
  I know, Happy Friday. This one is about space.
• 13:46
  We've been talking a lot about space lately.
• 13:48
  So this is called the Journey to the Moon.
• 13:50
  Here we go. Where's my spaceship dog I'm.
• 14:50
  Like I'm gonna go. I I was supposed to be in space
• 14:52
  by now, having a good life, living up Mars and checking out
• 14:56
  Saturn. Like what the?
• 14:57
  Hell, not everybody's meant to be a an astronaut.
• 14:59
  Some people are just the astronauts janitor.
• 15:01
  And that's gonna be OK. That's an important job, too.
• 15:04
  I want a cruise ship in space. Like I don't want to have to
• 15:06
  have any skills. I just want a board like get on,
• 15:09
  like grab a drink and go. Now where we're going today,
• 15:11
  Mars, not happening. Mars, Saturn, Venus, let's go,
• 15:14
  let's go. Have a button.
• 15:15
  I know it's not, but I was promised that.
• 15:17
  It's true. And.
• 15:18
  A man we were promised. It's a lot of things to make as
• 15:20
  millennials, yeah. Well, happy Friday, thank you
• 15:22
  for listening to the Nikki Gritson in the podcast.
• 15:24
  Don't forget to like subscribe, comment.
• 15:26
  We do have a phone number. I'll tell you to you slowly this
• 15:28
  time we want to text or call. We did get a couple texts and
• 15:31
  and messages. So we appreciate that.
• 15:33
  It's 971-266-3606. Shoot us a text message, comment
• 15:38
  about anything. Have a question for Kristen and
• 15:41
  wondering what she would do if she were you?
• 15:43
  Send it our way. I'll assure as heck give you in
• 15:45
  my opinion, all right.