Latest / Military Broadcast Radio | MBR Talk / The Motivate Mindset with Tucker Miller
Transcript
- 1:02Or want to not just learn, but want to.
- 1:05But I think that that. Yeah, boss.
- 1:18I mean, welcome to the motivated mindset.
- 1:19I'm your host, Jose Flores, proud Latino, born in Brooklyn,
- 1:23raised in the Bronx, NY, A a retiring CEO, a veteran with
- 1:27over 30 years of military service, and someone who
- 1:30believes that our greatest chapters are often written after
- 1:34we face our greatest challenges. You know what I'm saying?
- 1:38And in my journey has taken me from the streets of New York to
- 1:42the battlefields around the world, serving our nation in
- 1:45places like, you know, Afghanistan, Iraq, you know, and
- 1:48of course, Germany, Korea, Central America, and of course,
- 1:52various places around the United States.
- 1:54And my commitment to serve continuous ICE transition into
- 1:57the federal government where I had the privilege, privilege of
- 2:00serving as a Department of Defense civilian and later with
- 2:05the Department of Housing and Urban Development.
- 2:09And throughout my federal career, I had the honor of
- 2:12working with some incredible leaders, mentors, and
- 2:16individuals who reminded me that leadership is not a, it's not
- 2:20about a title, It's, it's about influence, integrity, and the
- 2:23impact that we have on others. And that's what the motivated
- 2:28mindset really all about. Recognizing the people who pour
- 2:32into US, learning from their wisdom, and sharing stories that
- 2:36inspire others to keep moving forward.
- 2:40Every person has a story. Every challenge I say has a
- 2:44lesson. Every set back can be can become
- 2:47a setup for something even greater.
- 2:49Whether you're a veteran transitioning into a new
- 2:52chapter, a leader trying to make a difference in a in an
- 2:56organization and entrepreneur chasing a dream of someone
- 2:59simply looking for motivation to get through today.
- 3:03Look, remember this, your mindset matters, you know what
- 3:07I'm saying? And that's what that's so
- 3:10important. But before we get started, if
- 3:13you value what you hear today, if it, if this vibes with you,
- 3:17you know, if this conversation inspires you, if you appreciate
- 3:23the interviews, right? The energy, what's up, my
- 3:26people. That's why I bring it every day.
- 3:28And the message, all I ask is support our YouTube channel.
- 3:32Use that, that, you know, all you got to do is get that QR
- 3:36code, but no hit like hit subscribe and share it with
- 3:39someone who could use a little motivation.
- 3:41Look, your support supports our team, you know, continue to
- 3:45bring powerful guests so we can continue to bring powerful
- 3:48guests, meaningful conversations and purpose driven content.
- 3:52That's key straight to you. All right, Familia, you know,
- 3:56now let let me go and let me introduce you to our amazing,
- 4:00amazing guest. I'm excited to introduce to you
- 4:05Tucker Miller, a leader who understands that great
- 4:08leadership isn't just about having a title.
- 4:12It's how you show up, how you communicate the impact the
- 4:16people around you, right? Tucker brings more than 35 years
- 4:21of experience as an attorney, HR executive, business leader,
- 4:28consultant, executive coach, and she is a founder of Onward
- 4:32Leadership, where she helps leaders communicate more
- 4:36clearly, lead more courageously, build trust, and create high
- 4:41impact cultures where people can thrive right.
- 4:45She is also the author of 1st 4 words, a practical guide to
- 4:50starting difficult conversations, you know, with
- 4:52greater confidence and ease. And what I really appreciate
- 4:58about Tucker's approach is that she combines a can't can do it
- 5:02with compassion and accountability with support.
- 5:06Understand that because leadership isn't just going to
- 5:09say it's about getting results. It's about how you get those
- 5:13results and how people how people you bring with you the
- 5:16people you bring along along the way.
- 5:18So today, today we're going to talk about leadership, difficult
- 5:21conversation, accountability, trust, culture and what it
- 5:25really takes to become a better leader.
- 5:28So let's welcome Tucker Miller. Give me a moment.
- 5:32The interview of the week is brought to you by Jersey Mike's
- 5:37a sub above. All right.
- 5:41Welcome, Tucker. Man, thank you for being here.
- 5:44Thank you for having me, it's great to be here.
- 5:47Who is stupendous? So before we get into all the,
- 5:51you know, the titles and everything, let's who who is who
- 5:54is Tucker Miller? Who is Tucker Miller?
- 5:57Well, I live just outside of Seattle, if you're familiar,
- 6:00it's Bellevue is where I'm at, so on the other side of the lake
- 6:03there, but in the Seattle metropolitan area.
- 6:06And I've lived here since probably the late 70s, but
- 6:11before that, I felt like I lived in a lot of different places
- 6:15throughout the continental United States.
- 6:17My dad was a military officer and we thank him for his
- 6:22service, as we thank you for your service.
- 6:24But I'm going to shout out to all the families that move along
- 6:28with those heroes. Thank you for your service as
- 6:32well. And I felt like we all put our
- 6:33time in. So I am married for 34 years.
- 6:38I have two adult children and a daughter-in-law and I have two
- 6:44grandchildren and couple of sisters and a few a few
- 6:50relatives in this area. But most of my roots are from
- 6:54Ohio. Wow, wow.
- 6:57What is it raining right now in Seattle?
- 6:59It's so funny that you asked that because we've had an
- 7:02amazingly dry and sunny summer and it poured like crazy this
- 7:07morning. But it's in the process of
- 7:09clearing off. But I know you've, you've been
- 7:12out this way. You know what it's like.
- 7:14We have more Gray days than sunny days for sure.
- 7:17Oh my goodness, yeah. I, I had the the privilege of
- 7:20being stationed there. You know, I when I forgot that
- 7:23was why they have so many bars here and and two years, you
- 7:26know, in down Tacoma. Now I know why because of the
- 7:28rain. But it is a beautiful place.
- 7:30I did enjoy it. You know, it's just hard when
- 7:33you're in the military and you at Yakima in the rain training.
- 7:36That was before. Oh my goodness.
- 7:39Well, Yakima, any type of weather is going to be kind of
- 7:42tough. So you come on over to the other
- 7:44side of the mountains. It's a little little easier,
- 7:47little more beautiful, I think, not to knock Yakima, but it it's
- 7:53definitely tougher over that part.
- 7:54Yes, ma'am. It is, it is and no that.
- 7:57Thank you for sharing that. So you've you spent more than 35
- 8:00years, right moving through? In yeah, in business, yeah.
- 8:05Is in business. And yeah, largely in business.
- 8:08So I graduated from law school and took a in house legal
- 8:13department role for a company here in the Seattle area.
- 8:17And that was 35 years ago, give or take.
- 8:21It's been a long haul through different iterations, different
- 8:25roles, but. Lots of experience and I know it
- 8:30was like HR consulting, sales, senior leadership development,
- 8:33all that. Well, in in pieces, it was sort
- 8:36of, you know, saying yes to the next thing and the next thing
- 8:40and the next thing. And, and people have asked me,
- 8:43you know, how did you get the kind of career that you had?
- 8:45And I said, I kept saying yes, trusting that I would figure it
- 8:49out and. In.
- 8:51In all but maybe one or two places, I figured it.
- 8:54I figured it out well enough, but I really excelled in almost
- 8:58every role that I had. Yeah, because I mean, like, you
- 9:01know, what, was there any, let's say, was there a threat
- 9:05connecting all those different chapters that they're all of
- 9:08your life? Yeah, I think leadership was it.
- 9:12So I, you know, started out as a trial attorney, I was a risk
- 9:16manager, then I was AHR executive and then on and on and
- 9:21on. But the willingness to say yes
- 9:24to new experiences and be confident in my ability to lead
- 9:28in all those uncertain and new places and help other people
- 9:33around me is probably the through line.
- 9:36The the passion for helping and serving others is really
- 9:41consistent. And, and, and you've worked with
- 9:44leaders at some pretty high levels.
- 9:47You know what would like, What have you learned about
- 9:50leadership that you wish someone had told you, let's say 35 years
- 9:53ago? If there is such a thing that
- 9:55you know? Well, we all get better at
- 10:00leadership as we practice more leadership, and the best leaders
- 10:06are committed to continuously learning and experimenting.
- 10:10You never arrive at that place where I got it now.
- 10:14You never do. You're constantly refining and I
- 10:18think that's where you know, some of the lessons that have
- 10:23been the hardest and most valuable that have been formed
- 10:26my leadership have been in raising my kids and working
- 10:30through my marriage. And I, I think those are very
- 10:35transferable skills. And I get a little bit more
- 10:38grace in those places from people who love me and are going
- 10:42to be here for the rest of our collective lives.
- 10:45Practice and refine there. But all those insights we take
- 10:50forward and pluses and negatives we take forward and we keep
- 10:55getting better. I do have to agree with you
- 10:58raising, raising children, you know, it's come challenge it in
- 11:04marriages. It does.
- 11:06It does translate to that because, you know, every time,
- 11:09like when I used to PCs go to another unit, I had to adapt to
- 11:12the my new leader. What was their pros and cons?
- 11:15What did they need from me? Oh, my goodness.
- 11:18Yeah. Some were good.
- 11:19Some were like, OK, I'm only here for two or three years and
- 11:22it's time to move on. You know, it's so funny that you
- 11:25say that because people will often think about what's the
- 11:28best leader that they ever worked with and that's going to
- 11:31be their model leader. And I'll say yes.
- 11:35And what was the worst leader that you worked for?
- 11:39Because if you can illuminate what what made them the worst,
- 11:45you've almost defined the recipe for what you want to take
- 11:49forward. I don't want to be this person,
- 11:52and I find that people have a much more visceral reaction to
- 11:57the leaders they hated and don't want to be like that.
- 12:01They're almost more informed, formed decisions, more
- 12:05informational in the ways that they want to lead forward.
- 12:09So yes, best is good. Worst is even better.
- 12:13Yeah, no, absolutely. But you know what, 'cause you
- 12:16know, like in most like you know, when I first came in your
- 12:19private, everybody learned, but sometime having some of those
- 12:22leaders that were not as effective, I learned from that
- 12:25too. Yeah.
- 12:26You know, I I do tend and let me somebody, somebody LinkedIn use,
- 12:31I'm going to put it up. It says Miss Tucker is awesome
- 12:34from Yvette. Well, I know of that, and I
- 12:38think she's pretty awesome too. I know you do too as well.
- 12:41Jose. Yvette and I have crossed paths
- 12:44so many times I can't even recall, but she's wonderful.
- 12:47Yes. That is that that is stupendous,
- 12:50you know, and I really so I want to talk about you found that you
- 12:54found that onward leadership. You know, what problems did you
- 12:58see an organization that made you say, you know, we need to
- 13:01approach leadership differently? Yeah.
- 13:04Well, the first piece, the first part of the answer is, you know,
- 13:10why leave a Kush corporate role to go start your own business.
- 13:13And there may be any number of reasons, but I had gotten to a
- 13:16place where I had really been the voice for a lot of things
- 13:23for the other organization I was with.
- 13:25And as passionate as I am about their their mission, it wasn't
- 13:29my mission. And my mission was really around
- 13:33helping leaders lead more boldly and confidently, to have the
- 13:38kind of influence that makes them proud to lead and their
- 13:46organizations really support them in that.
- 13:48And I was particularly interested in supporting women
- 13:52leaders. You know, at this stage of my
- 13:54career, this is my last iteration of my my various
- 13:58versions. And I thought, what's the
- 14:00legacy? I want to leave and I want to
- 14:02leave helping leaders lead better, boldly and more
- 14:06confidently. And particularly focusing on the
- 14:09needs of women leaders. And what I did not expect was
- 14:13focusing on the needs of women leaders means that I'm working
- 14:16almost more with male leaders than women leaders.
- 14:23Because at this stage in our world, we still have men who are
- 14:28at those highest levels that are working to bring women up and
- 14:31into those roles. So I, I've adapted to really
- 14:38focusing on the needs of men and women and others as they lead.
- 14:44But that's the passion to find my own spin on what leadership
- 14:51is. And you know, it's sort of the
- 14:52Boy Scout rule to leave my campsite better than I found it.
- 14:56My campsite, as we've mentioned, wasn't always the best, but I am
- 15:00determined to leave it in the best way I can.
- 15:03And I, I remember thinking during COVID, there were two
- 15:08questions that came up to me as I was thinking, should I stay or
- 15:12should I go? What are the risks, etcetera.
- 15:15And the first question was, what regret do I not want to have at
- 15:18the end of my career? And the second one was, who do I
- 15:22want to hang out with? And those two questions were
- 15:26very clarifying for me of it's time for me to start my own
- 15:30company and, you know, look to support leaders in a much more
- 15:36specific, confidential, intimate way in the work that I do.
- 15:43No, I I agree. I know my dad used to tell me
- 15:45the same thing. You borrow a shovel.
- 15:47Turn it in better than what you borrowed it.
- 15:50Definitely sharper, cleaner oiled.
- 15:53Yep. No, and absolutely and we've got
- 15:56some shout out so tracer rounds that's one of our podcasters
- 16:01here. She's saying let me see where is
- 16:03there we go. It's a hello Jose and Tucker,
- 16:06hello. Awesome and let me see we had
- 16:10somebody from I think it was MJI want to say hello MJ, how are
- 16:13you? She said she said hello.
- 16:15That's it. Roger, hello.
- 16:17We actually said, I wrote back to there we go.
- 16:20MJC said good afternoon. That's another one of our
- 16:23podcasts are here. But we, we have a question and
- 16:27let me see the question. It says today's topic is the 1st
- 16:314 words, a leadership strategy that gets resolved.
- 16:34Follow up by what 4 words define the legacy you want to leave as
- 16:40a leader. I guess I'd put that out to your
- 16:44audience. I'd love to hear what they would
- 16:46say. Let's play with that.
- 16:50So the whole idea of the 1st 4 words is we make the most
- 16:55impactful conversations either too diluted with too many words,
- 17:00or we make every conversation that we know we need to have,
- 17:05but nobody's having it. We make it too difficult because
- 17:09we're trying to plan the whole Dang thing ahead of time and
- 17:12we're anticipating all the bad reactions.
- 17:15So if we think about what's 4 words that I would use, the
- 17:18first thing I would say it's 4:00-ish words. 4 words is a
- 17:22sweet spot, but if it's five or six, we don't worry about that.
- 17:26But we want to be succinct. And I would say my 4 words and
- 17:31Jose, get ready. I'm going to ask you for years.
- 17:33Oh my goodness, I saw you take some water.
- 17:37So let's, let's think about this.
- 17:39I mean, that's, that's the value is if I have to boil it down to
- 17:444 words, I'm going to be much more intentional, more
- 17:48thoughtful and more prepared. And I wasn't prepared for this
- 17:51question, but I I help leaders thrive.
- 18:02Oh, so you can use it in a sentence?
- 18:04Yes. Yes, a force forward phrase.
- 18:09I see. OK, OK.
- 18:11You're my audience. Anybody I need I need getting a
- 18:14foot here. What's Jose's 4 words?
- 18:18Yeah, no, I have 4:00. I have the four words.
- 18:20I was just going to say the four words, but now I'm trying to put
- 18:23it in a in a sentence like that, can you say yours again?
- 18:27I help leaders. Thrive.
- 18:28I help leaders that that is that is awesome.
- 18:32I help leaders thrive. OK, yeah, I'm not good at
- 18:39putting things that can I just does it have?
- 18:40Can I just say my 4 words? Yeah.
- 18:43Just or do we have to I mean, so I build it resilience,
- 18:46resilience, faith, motivation and compassion.
- 18:54That's fantastic. That's that's what, when I think
- 18:56of what is it that those are the four words that resonate with
- 18:58me, 'cause yeah, so that would be it.
- 19:01Yeah, those are, yeah. Well, that's very much in line
- 19:04with with your podcast and and your life as I've gotten to know
- 19:09you. I love that you started with
- 19:11resilience. So very frequently I'll work
- 19:14with leaders and let's say I just need to be more confident.
- 19:18It might be a leader that's been promoted to a new role and
- 19:22they're feeling a little over their skis.
- 19:26And how do I get more confidence?
- 19:28I think they sort of expect that I'm going to poof, make you more
- 19:31confident or something. And I, I think confidence is a
- 19:35bit of a misdirect. And I love that it wasn't one of
- 19:37your words. Resilience is the key to getting
- 19:41more confidence because you only get more confident by being over
- 19:46and over uncomfortable, not confident.
- 19:50And then suddenly you do it enough times and you realize I'm
- 19:54OK with this, I can do it. You know, it comes back.
- 19:58We realize it in the look back. That wasn't such a big deal.
- 20:02I got this now. And then there's the next thing.
- 20:05But really building that strategy around resilience.
- 20:09What are the ways that I can build that muscle?
- 20:13Guaranteed best way to become more confident in leadership and
- 20:19in life. Yeah, wow.
- 20:22So that makes perfect sense. Yeah.
- 20:25We, we, we do have a LinkedIn user, I think her name is
- 20:28Yvette. And this is what she says.
- 20:30She says I inspire through action.
- 20:34Love it, love it. Inspire through action.
- 20:37Yeah, we don't just Mull it over.
- 20:39We do stuff right. Yeah, one of the and I have to
- 20:43say that a lot of the things like those words in different
- 20:46parts of my life, the resilience definitely came from the
- 20:49military side. Some of the things we go
- 20:52through, you know, and, you know, and, and the motivation.
- 20:56So all these when I'm I'm thinking of the words, I, I'm
- 20:59actually like, OK, why did I come up?
- 21:00I understand why, right Sense, you know, and, and I know
- 21:05another thing is grace. Sometimes giving ourselves grace
- 21:09and that's. True, that's true.
- 21:12That's what we. Mean by that?
- 21:13No, no. Thank you for sharing that.
- 21:14Yeah, I got some new word. Now I know how to use it.
- 21:16I know. Yeah.
- 21:19What we're going to do, we're going to take a quick break, but
- 21:22when we come back, I want to talk.
- 21:23Some of the things I would like for you to talk about is when
- 21:26you say that organizations, you know, say they may not call
- 21:30because they may not need another leadership program.
- 21:33But when they call a leader, you know, when they call a leader's
- 21:35behaviors affecting, let's say culture of retention,
- 21:38performance or trust, you know, and what are some of the warning
- 21:41signs that an organization shouldn't ignore?
- 21:44So we're going to take a quick break.
- 21:46When we come back, we'll re engage.
- 21:47Maybe we'll give our audience some time to come up with some
- 21:51questions or some comments. So let's take let's take a
- 21:53quick, quick break here. And I think you're going to like
- 21:56this snakes, this snakes commercial.
- 21:59Here we go. Thank you.
- 22:00We'll be right back. The station where our veterans
- 24:59voices are heard. MBR talk.
- 25:01Hey thanks for tuning. In Welcome Back are those of the
- 25:07speakers and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions
- 25:12of any entities they represent. The web at MB radio dot.
- 25:18All right, welcome back. Welcome back.
- 25:20All right, Tucker, what did you think of that, that video?
- 25:23I loved it. I thought it was great.
- 25:25You were right, I liked it. And you can't spell hero without
- 25:29her. Without her.
- 25:31I totally agree. And when we left, we wondered if
- 25:34we talked about what are some of the things that organization
- 25:38should not ignore when you know, based on what the question I
- 25:43asked. Yeah.
- 25:44So this comes up most frequently when it's a company that's
- 25:48hiring me and they are saying, here's our issue, here's our
- 25:51problem. And sometimes it's we've got a
- 25:55doctor, a high level individual, someone who's just receiving a
- 25:59lot of complaints. And if those complaints are
- 26:02perhaps, you know, not a direct violation of a policy or law,
- 26:08but we got to keep them in their high profile.
- 26:10We need to restore the reputation.
- 26:13That's the kind of person that I will end up working with from
- 26:16time to time. The complaints become really the
- 26:21signal if you've got someone who is the subject of a complaint
- 26:26and people might characterize the complaint as discrimination,
- 26:31harassment, any number of things.
- 26:35And and then there's the findings.
- 26:37So particularly where the findings don't necessarily
- 26:40support the violation that's claimed, but there's still an
- 26:44opportunity to address those behaviors.
- 26:47That's someone that I'll get called in to work with.
- 26:51And then there's more often what I'm seeing is companies saying
- 26:57we have this amazing leader who's so critical to the role
- 27:00that we've assigned them to because they're so smart, but
- 27:04they can't quite make the transition from all the tactical
- 27:08kinds of things that they've done as a contributor.
- 27:11We now want them to elevate and take on this higher level role
- 27:15where we need them to be visionary, strategic,
- 27:18influencing people in positive ways and they need to level up
- 27:22their skills. And that's happily the a friend
- 27:27that I'm seeing more often in my client base because it's really
- 27:30taking a high performer and now helping support them have high
- 27:36stakes conversations of a whole broad range.
- 27:40And to do it more effectively in ways that further not only the
- 27:44organization and their culture, but their own individual career
- 27:48and their teams. So I'm thinking about, you know,
- 27:53what are the things that you might watch?
- 27:54One is turnover and complaints when people people don't stay
- 27:59with the company, they stay with the leader.
- 28:01So when they're not staying, what's the problem?
- 28:03Look to the leader. And when I talk with leaders,
- 28:07oftentimes they'll tell me we used to be great, but this new
- 28:12generation or since COVID, you can't hire any good people when
- 28:17their problem is always outside of themselves.
- 28:20I would say that's also a little insight into we need to start
- 28:26with the leader here. They think the problem's
- 28:28elsewhere, but let's look in the mirror and figure that out.
- 28:32But you have to approach it kind of carefully because the last
- 28:35thing I want is anyone shutting down and becoming defensive.
- 28:38It's it's a journey, it's a process.
- 28:41It is and and I want to come back to that, but there's a
- 28:44question that just came up and the question is what is the
- 28:48leadership behavior you believe creates the biggest long term
- 28:52impact? First thing that came to mind
- 28:58and now I'm editing and and adding one more thing.
- 29:01But the first is the leaders who listen and take action on what
- 29:05they hear. That is powerful.
- 29:09That's how they build and maintain trust.
- 29:12And they're also consistently telling the truth, the truth,
- 29:25Not their truth, not a workable truth, not the truth that people
- 29:29might want to hear, but they're telling the truth and they're
- 29:32giving accurate, timely information of what they see.
- 29:37So it's both. It's a combination of I'm
- 29:39listening deeply and prepared to take action, and I'm also
- 29:43telling the truth that will help us collectively move forward.
- 29:48So that's very important when you talk about the truth, cause
- 29:51you know, because I, the question I wanted to ask is
- 29:53like, what's 1 mistake people, leaders make in the 1st 30
- 29:57seconds of, let's say, a difficult conversation?
- 30:01When you, when you say trigger, I mean, we say the truth like,
- 30:04you know, just make. Can you tell us more about that,
- 30:06Tucker? The biggest mistake leaders
- 30:09make? It doesn't even take 30 seconds.
- 30:11OK, OK, it takes 2 seconds. It's like, that's going to go
- 30:15badly. I don't have the time for that.
- 30:18I'm not going to have the conversation.
- 30:19I hope they work it out on their own.
- 30:21They'll figure it out. I'm not going to have that
- 30:24conversation. The magical thinking that
- 30:27happens to justify The Walking away and avoiding the
- 30:30conversation is #1 the biggest and most consistent mistake I
- 30:36see leaders and humans making repeatedly.
- 30:42Wow. OK.
- 30:43So it's even before that. OK, got it.
- 30:45It's it's immediate like, oh, that's going to be hard or I
- 30:51can't tell that kind of truth. So I'm going to water it down
- 30:55and you know, I'm going to use my sandwich method or whatever
- 30:59we do. And usually what happens in the
- 31:021st 30 seconds after they've decided not to have the
- 31:05conversation is that then you start building out the narrative
- 31:09and the story that explains why it wouldn't make sense to even
- 31:13try to have the conversation. That's that's really undermining
- 31:18because the more caught up we get in the story that we create,
- 31:23the harder it is to bust through that.
- 31:25And you're all about mindset, you know, that's once that
- 31:30becomes your, your truth for why it doesn't make sense to try and
- 31:34have these conversations with someone.
- 31:38It's really hard to shift it. That's why coaching is so much
- 31:43more effective, I think, than training because training is a
- 31:47single event, but coaching is over a period of time in a safe
- 31:52environment. You're going to try some things.
- 31:55We're going to look at what your results are.
- 31:57We're going to tweak it or toss it and try something new.
- 32:01But it's, you know, much more iterative and immersive kind of
- 32:05experience for leaders to breakdown that habit of I don't
- 32:11even want to go there. Right, no.
- 32:13And, and you're right, it's more than so when I was in, it's
- 32:16called it through the, the 360, the whole person from, you know,
- 32:20counseling and, and some of the things that have nothing to do
- 32:23with civilians, but we even had to know their shoe size, the
- 32:27anniversary of spouses. And it was the whole 360 and
- 32:31having that conversation, not like once, you know, a quarter,
- 32:36but every day, just engaging, having that.
- 32:38How you doing, soldier? How well, how are you?
- 32:40Hey, how's your family? Your your daughter's birthday is
- 32:42coming up. Having that engagement really
- 32:45makes a difference on the performance, I think, I think.
- 32:49It really does. So that takes us to the the
- 32:52often quoted Maya Angelo quote where people won't remember what
- 32:56you say, but they will always remember how you made them feel.
- 32:59Yes. That's how we build that kind of
- 33:02rapport with people. Absolutely no.
- 33:05Yeah, you you're absolutely correct.
- 33:06And it took I'll never forget the first time I was in Fort
- 33:09Hood, TX and clean. I was like a private that's like
- 33:12nothing. And here I am.
- 33:14And my saw he tells me you got to take care of those two
- 33:17individual who were lower grade than me.
- 33:19And I'm like, I can't even take care of myself but.
- 33:23He believed in you. Yeah, And what that forced me to
- 33:26do was to. OK.
- 33:27And he gave me his. Here's the book, here's the
- 33:29outline. This is what you got to do.
- 33:31And it forced me to not only take care of them, but also how
- 33:35to take care of myself. Yes.
- 33:37That was another thing that I make mistakes.
- 33:39Absolutely. So you're absolutely correct.
- 33:41What you just said about, you know, the whole mindset things,
- 33:45you know, that is that is crazy. But yeah, here we are.
- 33:49And I'm doing better so. Well, I love the example that
- 33:53you gave of. I don't even, I don't even know
- 33:55how to do it, but I'm going to step in there and do it and help
- 33:57these guys improve. But you ended with the most
- 34:00important insight. And I see this a lot with the
- 34:04people that I work with. I improved, I may have even
- 34:08proved more than they did, but I got better for having had that
- 34:12stretch experience. And I, I see this a lot with
- 34:16leaders who have someone who's not performing to expectation.
- 34:21They're not meeting the expectations.
- 34:22And so, you know, in the corporate world, there's the
- 34:25performance improvement plan that you have to administer and
- 34:29people hate the process and it takes so long.
- 34:31And I said guaranteed at least one of you is going to get much
- 34:35better for having gone through that process.
- 34:39And it's definitely going to be you.
- 34:41If the other person improves, that's a bonus, but you're going
- 34:44to be better for having walked through that.
- 34:47And you know, time and time I see those results.
- 34:51Oh my God, that, that is hilarious.
- 34:53I mean, when I think about it, I was like, I, I wasn't even
- 34:56shaving yet. And I'm talking to forget it.
- 34:59It's, it's great. But all those experiences when I
- 35:02became a senior leader, I remember those things.
- 35:05And I remember because sometimes real quick, you forget that one
- 35:09time you were there and somebody gave grace, somebody gave you an
- 35:13opportunity when you made a mistake, you know?
- 35:16That's right, and that's right. But I've been in organizations
- 35:20with they don't they burn you. They try to, you know, because
- 35:23you made one more. Yeah, it's.
- 35:24Not yeah, it's the worst. It's the worst.
- 35:28I was doing something with a group yesterday and I said,
- 35:32well, another meeting down and it didn't go perfectly.
- 35:35And I left the response that someone said, no, what we love
- 35:38about the meetings said, you know, I was leading.
- 35:41But what we love about these meetings is they're so perfectly
- 35:44imperfect. That's where the humanity and
- 35:47the humor shows up. So, you know, we're not we're
- 35:51not launching missiles here. We, we have some room to be
- 35:55showing grace. So where we do?
- 35:57Let's do. Absolutely.
- 36:00And what I want to do, Tucker, is bring up your website.
- 36:04Let's talk about your website, some more questions that come in
- 36:06and then you can talk about any leaders out there, anybody that
- 36:10needs to use it and I'll bring it up.
- 36:12OK, I'll give it to you. It's all.
- 36:14Yours. There it is.
- 36:15Yeah. So Onward, leadership.com, this
- 36:19is where you can find me. I also have, and I know you'll
- 36:24show it a little bit later, but I also have a bi monthly
- 36:28newsletter that I post on LinkedIn that is real
- 36:32conversations, real insights, real lessons learned to help
- 36:36people have some practical approaches to dealing with the
- 36:39challenges that all of us as leaders face.
- 36:42I, you know, encourage you to take some of those that are
- 36:46written for business environment.
- 36:47And I would say just as we take our our personal and transfer it
- 36:51to business, I think you can take some of those business
- 36:53insights and transfer it to how you might parent or lead within
- 36:57your own personal life. So real conversations, real
- 37:01leadership, real impact. That's what I'm all about.
- 37:03How do you level up your impact? It's literally one conversation
- 37:08association at a time. Are we building and sustaining
- 37:11trust or are we behaving in ways that might deter or detract from
- 37:17that trust? So that's the key.
- 37:23And then in terms of what I do, I provide workshops and
- 37:28training. I am also a certified
- 37:30facilitator for civil treatment. Those of you are familiar with
- 37:34or certified through Eli, you will know that training very
- 37:37well. Workshops and training.
- 37:40I also have some of my own workshops that I do.
- 37:43I work primarily right now as an executive coach working with
- 37:47organizations of various sizes. And I'm right now working quite
- 37:51a bit in healthcare and with some technology startup
- 37:55companies. But I'm open to anything and
- 37:58that's really what one of my passions.
- 38:00I love not only working with individual leaders, but I love
- 38:03understanding how's the business work.
- 38:06How do we level up your influence in the business that
- 38:09you're in? And I do take individual
- 38:12coaching clients from time to time.
- 38:14They will reach out to me and then keynotes.
- 38:18I love speaking and supporting people.
- 38:23Yvette who who welcomed us initially, she knows me through
- 38:27keynotes primarily. So she's I'll let her vouch for
- 38:30me on that. But that's great fun.
- 38:34Yeah. And then here's my contact
- 38:36information. This is on my website.
- 38:38You can reach out there and ask any questions that you want and
- 38:44also find me, as I mentioned on LinkedIn and there's my topics.
- 38:49These are things that I do and teach.
- 38:52These are frequently things that people ask for.
- 38:55And as I mentioned, I also do the civil treatment workplace
- 38:59training and the various iterations of that.
- 39:04And my book, I have my book right here.
- 39:06You have the book represented there.
- 39:09The 1st 4 words. This is really the I almost
- 39:14think of it as a love letter to the leaders I was working with
- 39:17who constantly challenged me about I can't have that
- 39:20conversation. There's no point in having the
- 39:23conversation. And I've already decided how
- 39:26that conversation is going to go.
- 39:28And I thought, what's the sweet spot?
- 39:30That's just enough. Not so much that everyone gets
- 39:34lost in all the explanations and apologies and whatnot, but just
- 39:39enough to really get it started in a meaningful way and we stop
- 39:43and listen. So when you were asking me what?
- 39:46What do leaders need to learn to do better?
- 39:49Get more concise because you've got very few seconds to get
- 39:52people's attention and then createspace to just listen to
- 39:56what the reaction is and trust yourself to know what the next 4
- 40:01words are. The goal being that you're
- 40:03working towards resolving the issue and not walking away from
- 40:07the problem. Let me mention.
- 40:11I checked just before we went Live Today.
- 40:15Apparently Amazon is temporarily out of stock with the book.
- 40:19You can get an ebook version of it for your Kindle, but Barnes
- 40:24and Noble does have copies available if you want to buy the
- 40:27book online. And and Tucker, and that's your
- 40:30e-mail that people can reach out to you also, right?
- 40:33Yes, yeah. So if you can't find it and you
- 40:35want to just e-mail me, I will make sure that you get a book.
- 40:40Cool beans all right all. Right.
- 40:41Yeah, Connect, How to connect? There's that LinkedIn and then
- 40:47there's my website address. So would love to hear from
- 40:51anyone who's interested in learning more.
- 40:54And thank you very much for putting that up for everyone.
- 40:58One team, one fight. One team, one fight.
- 41:01That's that's how we, that's how we roll up in here.
- 41:03That's how we roll. I love it.
- 41:04You know, so we we have some more questions, but I needed to
- 41:08get that out of the way. And here's the next question.
- 41:10And the question is, what question should every leader ask
- 41:15themselves daily? What's the conversation?
- 41:22I'm avoiding that has been incredibly powerful for the
- 41:29leaders that I work with because everyone has some conversation
- 41:36that they're waiting for people to have and nobody's having it.
- 41:40And this is where we look at who's a leader and who's a
- 41:44follower. And if you put yourself in the
- 41:46place of leader, I want to identify what's the conversation
- 41:50I'm avoiding. And the next question is, why
- 41:53aren't you having it? Go have it.
- 41:55Say it in four. That's really critical.
- 41:58Just say what you know already. No apologies, no blather.
- 42:06I have some feedback. Hey, have a minute.
- 42:10Here's what I'm seeing. Really simple, but it's just
- 42:14enough to start the conversation.
- 42:16Yeah, yeah. No, thank you for that.
- 42:18We and we have another one. And this question is I hear you
- 42:22talk about leadership and legacy.
- 42:24What would you, what would you, what would you thank your
- 42:28youngest self for? What would you?
- 42:30Yeah. What would you do?
- 42:31I guess that what would you? Think, yeah, what would I thank
- 42:33my younger self for? There we go saying yes over and
- 42:39over and over because every yes gave me the opportunity to get
- 42:46more and more aligned with my talents and skills.
- 42:51And so I feel like I'm living the best life.
- 42:54But, you know, back in the day when I started out, there was no
- 42:57such thing as an executive coach.
- 43:00You don't start out in your 20s being a keynote speaker.
- 43:03Like, what the hell are you going to talk about?
- 43:05And who's going to believe anything you have to say?
- 43:07I know there's people out there, but I come to the work that I do
- 43:12now with so much story and insight and application, and I
- 43:19am grateful for every hit and miss along the way.
- 43:25No, absolutely. And we have, let me see, nothing
- 43:28else. Did we talk about this?
- 43:31I guess, yeah. What's 1 take away?
- 43:33You want every listener to apply today.
- 43:36You know what's a good take away?
- 43:38So the the best take away is what's the conversation you can
- 43:45start believe if everything you might want is on the other side
- 43:52of a conversation you haven't been having, what's the four
- 43:56words that will get you into that conversation?
- 43:59Because that's where you really start to see magic develop.
- 44:04I want a promotion. Let's move to Australia, let's
- 44:09have a baby. It doesn't matter what the
- 44:13conversation is, but if you can think of the one that you're
- 44:17hesitant or fearful about, put it in a forward phrase, get
- 44:22comfortable with it, and then go have it.
- 44:26That is, that makes perfect sense.
- 44:28Yeah. But sometimes we contemplate
- 44:30things but we don't take the execute the phase of it.
- 44:34You know what happens. I think we imagine that all the
- 44:37planning is the action. We can go back to a vet on that.
- 44:41She said she she helps people take action.
- 44:45Planning is not action. Planning is procrastination.
- 44:49Get into your life. Live your life well.
- 44:54Absolutely. No, no, no.
- 44:56Tucker, thank you for the information.
- 44:58Is there anything we didn't cover or something you would
- 45:01like to leave the audience with before we we get as we get ready
- 45:05to close out? I, I think you have everything
- 45:08that's ripe and ready right now. I've got a lot of things that
- 45:11I'm working on. I, I'm hesitant to put too much
- 45:15out there because I'm still working on it, but please
- 45:19continue to follow me. If you're interested, reach out.
- 45:22I'd love to have a conversation with anyone who's curious and
- 45:27we'll stay in touch. Oh well.
- 45:29Oh absolutely. I want to say thank you for
- 45:31being on here. Spin stupendous.
- 45:33You made me think about them. 4 words.
- 45:35I got it. I.
- 45:35Good. Well, I have muchas gracias,
- 45:39Jose, I didn't I didn't tell you that I have over 1300
- 45:45consecutive days on Duolenco Spanish.
- 45:48What? We should have been doing this
- 45:50in Spanish. Necesito practical.
- 45:56You know, I, I have a vet who has to correct me because I'm,
- 45:59we use Spanglish in New York. City.
- 46:01It's not like real, you know, you know, but, but I want to say
- 46:06thank you, ma'am Tucker, for being here.
- 46:08And I, I want, I'm always learning something.
- 46:11And I, I was going through your website and it was, it was
- 46:13really good, concise, clear and, and to the point.
- 46:17It was easy to read. So I ladies and gentlemen,
- 46:20please take a look at that because it really is good.
- 46:22I I enjoyed it because sometimes you go on some website and it's
- 46:25just seems so proud. It's so convoluted like oh man,
- 46:28you know, yours was just easy to follow.
- 46:30If I needed this I could go here, so I appreciate.
- 46:33It thank you. It was really good.
- 46:36And before I let you go, let me just talk real quick about my
- 46:39next upcoming guest. And this here is Miss Rochelle.
- 46:45Let me try to say this. Rochelle McAllister.
- 46:47Thank you. OK.
- 46:48She's the founder of the Single Parent Achievers program.
- 46:52And Rochelle knows first hand what it means to, let's say, be
- 46:57a single parent. She raised 4 amazing children
- 46:59while working multiple jobs to provide for a family.
- 47:03But instead of align how we say those challenges to the finer,
- 47:07Rochelle made a conscientious decision with the grace of God
- 47:11to transform her life. So this is next Saturday.
- 47:14This is a pre record. Ladies and gentlemen, please
- 47:17join us next Saturday. You know, it's a Labor Day
- 47:21weekend, same times. I'm about to say 1700.
- 47:25Wow, 5:00 in Eastern Standard Time, you know.
- 47:29So please join us. Oh, and somebody, somebody says
- 47:32Gracia at Tucker. Look at that, you know better.
- 47:41I'm open now I can now I can go Spanish.
- 47:49Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you
- 47:51for being here for asking the questions.
- 47:53Please check it out if you have any question.
- 47:55Again, there is the e-mail all right, there is a e-mail and
- 47:59what I want to do real quick there is the contact
- 48:01information. So please reach out and and and
- 48:05make contact with Miss Tucker and it'll it'll be awesome.
- 48:09So I with that I will let you Gracia migente Puerto.
- 48:14There we go. Yeah, thank you, Miss Tucker,
- 48:19you have a blessed weekend and thank you for everything.
- 48:22Thank you. Everybody have a good weekend.
- 48:25Bye bye. Hi, I'm Beaker with Military
- 48:28Broadcast Radio TV. We're your virtual MWR bringing
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