Latest / HEY, AMBITIOUS / 39. Meet Your Superpowers: Perfectionism, Control & Overachieving Without Burnout

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39. Meet Your Superpowers: Perfectionism, Control & Overachieving Without Burnout · HEY, AMBITIOUS

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hey ambitious.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: Today I want to introduce you to your superpowers.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: Just pause here for the moment.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: And what are your superpowers?
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: What do you think your superpowers are?
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: I have a feeling you already know some of them very well.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: They are perfectionism, control, overachieving, overdoing, figuring it out, getting it done.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you are not expecting me to call those your superpowers.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: We usually talk about them like their character defects.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: We are supposed to heal, fix, eliminate, or somehow graduate from.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: But I don't see them that way.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: I think they're brilliant.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: They've probably helped you create a lot of your life.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: The problem is not that you have the superpowers.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: The problem begins when they are the only powers you know how to use.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: Meet superpower number one, the perfectionist.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: The perfectionist notices things.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: She has standards.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: She can see the cooked picture on the wall, crooked, sorry, crooked picture on the wall when everybody else walks right past it.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: She catches the typo.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: She notices that something isn't quite ready.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: She sees how something could be better.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: Give her a project and she's going to care about the details.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: That's a superpower.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: Until every email requires 17 rereads.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: Until something that could have been published Tuesday is still sitting in Canva three weeks later.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: Until excellent quietly becomes never finished.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: The superpower did not disappear, it became overused.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: And meet superpower number two, the controller.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah, she's good.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: She anticipates.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: She plans.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: She has plan A, plan B, and probably plan C quietly sitting in a Google Dog somewhere.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: She thinks ahead.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: She minimizes risk.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: When things get chaotic, everybody looks at her because she knows what to do.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: That's a superpower.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: Until life gives her something she cannot predict, and suddenly uncertainty feels dangerous.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of exploring what could happen, she's trying to guarantee what will happen.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: The controller is incredibly powerful in the world that can be controlled.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: But creation requires us to continually enter places that cannot be controlled.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: Meet superpower number three, the overachiever.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: This woman knows how to climb.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: Give her a mountain and she starts looking for the trail.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: Give her a goal and she's already breaking into steps.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: She knows discipline.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: She knows commitment.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: She knows how to keep going when something is difficult.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: That's a superpower.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: Until accomplishing becomes the way she proves she's enough.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: Until she reaches one summit and before she's even looked around at the view, she's already asking, okay, what's next?
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: Achievement is not the problem, but achievement without the capacity to receive the achievement, that's exhausting.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: And then there is my personal favorite, the overdoer.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: She's the woman who thinks, if this is not working yet, perhaps I need to do more.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: Three posts?
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: Let's do seven.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: One strategy, let's try four.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: A ten-step plan, let's make it twenty.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: She has tremendous capacity.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: She can move mountains.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: Under pressure, she can get things into physical reality.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: And many ambitious women have built careers, businesses, families, and entire lives with this superpower.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: But eventually, even superheroes get tired.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: And when we are constantly creating through pressure, we can finally arrive at the thing we worked so hard for and not have enough energy left to enjoy it.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: We finish one thing and immediately start the next.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: We accomplish but don't receive.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: We create but don't necessarily feel fulfilled by our creations.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: And eventually our superpowers stop feeling quite so super.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: But what if nothing has gone wrong?
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: What if these patterns aren't your identity?
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a perfectionist, I'm controlling, I'm an overachiever.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: Are you?
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: Or have you simply practiced these ways of operating so many times that they've become incredibly familiar?
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: Your brain loves familiar pathways.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: What we repeatedly think, feel, and do becomes easier to access.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: And under pressure, we tend to reach for the pathways we know.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: So maybe you're not a perfectionist.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe perfectionism is simply one tool you've become extraordinarily skilled at using.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: And that's true.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to throw the tool away.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: You can add more tools.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: Because there are other superpowers available to you.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: Curiosity is a superpower.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: Control says, I need to know.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: Curiosity says, I wonder.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: That's a completely different relationship with uncertainty.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: Curiosity allows you to walk towards something before you have proof of exactly how it's going to unfold.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: And we need that.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of asking how do I make sure this works, you might ask, I wonder what becomes possible if I try this.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: That tiny shift opens a door.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: Play is a superpower.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: We sometimes treat play as the think will earn after the serious work is finished.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: But play changes the way we see.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: Think about a child with a card but box.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: You see a box, the child sees a spaceship, then a castle, then a restaurant.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: Then apparently you're required to sit inside the box too.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: That's possibility.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: Play loosens our attachment to the one obvious answer.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: And for an ambitious woman who has spent years becoming very good at getting things right, play can be revolutionary.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: Experimentation is a superpower.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: The tester asks, is this the right answer?
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: The creator asks, what happens if I try this?
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: One requires certainty.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: The other requires participation.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: An experiment does not have to prove your worth.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: It produces information.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: It produces experience.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: It produces another possibility.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: It is no failed experiment if you're willing to learn from what happened.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: Exploration is a superpower.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: Exploration says I don't have to know where this leads before I begin.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: Imagine if every explorer required a Google Maps destination before leaving home.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: We would not call them explorers.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: We would call them commuters.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: Creation asks something different of us.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you follow what fascinates you, you notice, you wonder, you discover something you couldn't have planned because you did not know it existed yet.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: And possibility is a superpower.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: Possibility allows multiple realities to coexist.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: This did not work, can exist alongside something else might.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know how can exist alongside I can discover how.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: Can exist alongside?
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I'm capable of becoming the woman who does.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: Possibility does not require you to pretend everything will work.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: It simply refuses to declare that the reality you can currently see is the only reality available.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: And that is where creation begins.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: And this is why I created the expanded, which is my signature eight-week creative residency.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: And we just started that.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: So if you want to join us, if you feel like you want to add more superpowers to your other ones, so you can expand your range and your capacity to create something different and familiar and certain, but it excites you, you can still join us.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: Which is how that first live session.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't want you to get rid of the ambitious woman who knows how to accomplish things.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: I like her.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: She is powerful.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to take away your standards, your drive, your ability to plan or your capacity to execute.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: I want to introduce her to the rest of the team.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: Imagine the ambition of the achiever with the curiosity of the explorer, the discernment of the perfectionist with a freedom of experimentation, the capacity of the overdoer with a spaciousness of play, the planning ability of the controller with a capacity to enter uncertainty and say, I wonder what else is here?
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: What else is possible?
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: Now we have a very different ambitious woman.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: She's not less powerful.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: She has access to more power.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: She has more ways to respond, more ways to create, more ways to move her vision from imagination into physical reality.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: And most importantly, pressure is no longer her only fuel.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: That's what we are practicing inside the Expanded, my eight-week creative residency.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: Not learning another 47 things, not becoming better students, not passing another test.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: We're creating experiences where you get to practice being the creator.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: We're going to experiment.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: We're going to play with uncertainty.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: We're going to wear curiosity, exploration, play.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: We're going to notice the identities we've been unconsciously rehearsing.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: We're going to explore possibility.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: And we are going to practice creating from a different internal fuel source.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: And the first expanded experience is especially meaningful because this is the only round I plan to teach live.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: You'll be in the room with me and other amazing women.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: You'll receive bespoke support around your own patterns and your own vision.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: And you will be surrounded by other ambitious women experimenting with the same question.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: What becomes possible when pressure is not the only thing powering my ambition?
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: Because maybe you don't need less ambition.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you need access to more of yourself and more of your superpowers.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: So I will leave you with today's experiment, the possibility experiment.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: The superpower experiment.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: For the next twenty four hours, notice which superpower automatically takes the wheel?
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: Perfectionist, controller, overachiever, overdoer?
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: Don't fix her.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: Don't judge her.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: Actually, thank her.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: Say, Oh, I know you're here.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: You've gotten me very far.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: And then ask, which other superpower could I invite into this moment?
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: Could curiosity come in?
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: Could play come in?
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: Could experimentation come in?
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: Could exploration come in?
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: Could possibility come in?
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: Then do one thing differently.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: Not because the old way was wrong, simply because it is not the only possibility.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: It is not the only way.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're thinking, oh, I want to experience what happens when I actually practice this.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: Come into the expanded eight-week creative residency.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need to become somebody else.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: We're simply going to open some doors inside the woman who is already here.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: Hey ambitious.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: Your ambition is not the problem.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: Let's give it better fuel and let's expand what's possible.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: When we come together and we work intentionally on rewiring our superpowers, adding more superpowers, expanding our range, expanding our potential, and expanding our capacity to create more of life, experience more of life, not from pressure, but from possibility.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: Join it is still$255 for eight weeks.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_00: You have an online course, which is not very typical coaching course, it's more of a playful and experiential and explorative.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: And then we also meet for six live sessions, and we had a first session today, so you still have five more sessions.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: We're not meeting on the Thanksgiving weekend, uh week.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: And imagine that you're completing your 2026 year feeling excited about creating your life your way in the most expensive, playful, and explorative way.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: Your way your perfectionist becomes your friend when it's been added to exploration and curiosity.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: And then you're going to be entering 2027 feeling excited, a life full of possibilities and potential.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the intention for this eight-week creative residency that I call expanded, because you're here to expand and you're here to create from your expanded state.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: If you have any questions, let me know.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: You can always reach out.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: And if you also have any questions or maybe some request for some topics for the podcast, now you can use my new feature on the podcast.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: You can actually leave me a voicemail or send me a message, and I have a link in the show notes.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: And if you want to join expanded, the link is also in show notes.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I hope I'll see you on the other side.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's much more fun.