Latest / The Play Therapy Circle / Episode 15- Conducting Parent/ Carer Consultations in CCPT Part One
Transcript
- 0:05Hi and welcome to an episode of the Play Therapy Circle.
- 0:09I'm Kylie Ellison, a therapist, clinical supervisor and play
- 0:13therapy trainer, and I'm so grateful you're here.
- 0:17This podcast is a space for thoughtful, soulful
- 0:21conversations about child centred therapy, play based work
- 0:25and what it means to show up with presence and compassion
- 0:29both for our clients and for ourselves.
- 0:32Whether you're a seasoned play therapist, a student just
- 0:35starting out, or someone deeply passionate about working with
- 0:39children, you belong here. Hello everyone, welcome to the
- 0:46Play Therapy Circle podcast video edition.
- 0:51This is so cool. Welcome to our new studio which
- 0:57we have literally created last night because you know what, I'm
- 1:01like that I'm not good with being organised.
- 1:04This is so different because usually I don't have anyone to
- 1:07look at because I don't have a video.
- 1:09So I hope you guys enjoy this new format.
- 1:13We are pivoting to having the podcast both in audio on
- 1:19Spotify, our podcasts and we get good podcasts and also on
- 1:24YouTube. So you'll be able to access this
- 1:25video on YouTube as well. So I have so many disclaimers to
- 1:30give here, I guess with what we've got set up here.
- 1:32So this is my space at home, you guys.
- 1:37So I am definitely feeling a little bit more kind of chill
- 1:43that I can have on this beautiful little lounge that
- 1:45I've got, which of course is pink.
- 1:47So for those of you listening on Spotify and Apple Podcast, you
- 1:51can't see this right now, but hopefully you'll get a chance to
- 1:55see our video on YouTube soon. So you know what I'm talking
- 1:58about. And we will pop up a picture on
- 2:01our Instagram as well so that you can see it in all its glory.
- 2:07But I think it's coming together.
- 2:09I do need to put some sort of sheer curtain to just kind of
- 2:12soften it a little bit. But I have a beautiful picture
- 2:16behind me here completed. It is obviously available
- 2:22through Kmart for those of you in Australia, but it has been
- 2:26done by a beautiful Indigenous woman who has created this
- 2:29picture that I just love because it's all about pink pink.
- 2:34And I love pink. And so for those of you watching
- 2:37on YouTube, you can see I've got my pink minky blanket.
- 2:40I freaking love those blankets. If anyone in the US knows what
- 2:45I'm talking about, I'm kind of obsessed with secret lives and
- 2:49wives. This is just like a little bit
- 2:50of a deep dive into my life right now.
- 2:52And so I have like 4 minky blankets because they're
- 2:57amazing, the weighted blankets. Highly, highly recommend.
- 3:00So lots of pink in this space, which I love, but really nice
- 3:05that I'm no longer recording, you know, in on my couch, you
- 3:10know, in spaces where it just didn't feel as connected and
- 3:13grounded. And I think that in doing this,
- 3:16I just love the fact that we are connecting in this way where I
- 3:20can actually see everyone. Well, I can't see everyone, but
- 3:22I'm doing a recording right now because I know that we are
- 3:25connecting with more and more people as we go through each
- 3:28episode, which is just amazing and I love that so much.
- 3:33So this is fantastic. I'm so excited.
- 3:36This will continue to evolve as does everything in life.
- 3:40So I know that we will keep adding to this space as we
- 3:45continue with our episodes. But we'd love your feedback if
- 3:47you like our setup here. I think it's really cool.
- 3:50Normally also too many to give a caveat that I would normally
- 3:53have my microphone on a stand. This is the very first time I'm
- 3:56holding it. So if you can hear different
- 3:59sound levels, it's because I am learning how to do this.
- 4:03I have no idea what I'm doing. No, I do.
- 4:05It will be great. So I wanted to say hi to
- 4:10everyone listening. I hope that you have had a great
- 4:13week. It is moving into towards the
- 4:17back end of October 2025. You guys, I have absolutely no
- 4:22idea where the year has gone and I know I do this check in with
- 4:25you guys at the start of every episode.
- 4:27So how are you doing? First and foremost, how are you
- 4:29doing? Are you doing well or are you
- 4:35having a week? And either answer is fine and
- 4:38everything in between is fine as well.
- 4:40I think that we are certainly seeing, you know, throughout
- 4:45practise lots of progression, I guess in complexity of cases
- 4:50that we're working with. So I just want to acknowledge
- 4:53for all of you in the play therapy trenches, I see you.
- 4:57I absolutely see you. It's not easy, but we are doing
- 5:01incredible work. And like I always say, it's the
- 5:03blessing and the curse of the work that we do.
- 5:04We have this incredible blessing of being able to work with kids
- 5:08in this way and to be able to hear their stories and help them
- 5:11heal. But it is also a great
- 5:14responsibility as well. And so it has its its positives
- 5:18and challenges as anything in life does.
- 5:20So I just want to send any love to anyone who's having a tough
- 5:23week this week. Yeah, there is definitely people
- 5:28in my community who are not having a good time right now.
- 5:31So I just want to send all my love to all of you.
- 5:35I don't know if you guys follow Instagram and again, if you're
- 5:37listening on Spotify, you will not be able to see this or our
- 5:40podcast. But if you follow us on
- 5:43Instagram, I posted a story a couple of days ago.
- 5:46I bought a Grinch. Well, I'm using it for my iced
- 5:49coffee, but a a Grinch drink bottle from Target here in
- 5:53Australia. I just showed it to the camera.
- 5:55You have to get it. If you love Christmas like I do
- 5:58and brace yourselves guys, for the Christmas spam in the next
- 6:01couple of months with our episodes because I'm obsessed.
- 6:04So I think it just brings so much joy.
- 6:06So I think we all need that at this time of the year.
- 6:08So if this resonates with you, this is your reminder to go and
- 6:12buy a Christmas tumbler. OK, I want to dive into the
- 6:16topic for today. I know that we have a lot to
- 6:20cover and I wanna do justice to it because I think there is so
- 6:24much and so many elements of this particular topic that's
- 6:28important for us to work through.
- 6:31So what I would like to do is structure today's podcast by
- 6:35talking about how to conduct initial parent consultations.
- 6:40I want to talk about how to do then those follow up parent
- 6:43consultations and I do want to cover off on a couple of
- 6:46different topics that are important for us to consider in
- 6:49this space of the challenges we face in giving feedback to
- 6:53parents. Some of those common pitfalls
- 6:56that we all fall into either as a beginning play therapist or
- 7:00sometimes as a seasoned 1 and also those ethical
- 7:03considerations. So there is a lot to cover.
- 7:08So I encourage you guys to grab a tea, a coffee, settle in
- 7:13because we've got so much to cover.
- 7:15OK. So what I want to start off by
- 7:17saying that I think is really important is that we know from
- 7:23the meta analysis of child centre play therapy in the
- 7:27research literature available currently that caregiver
- 7:31involvement is one of those key components for us to be able to
- 7:35have effective and successful outcomes in therapy.
- 7:40That is, you know, standard here.
- 7:42We all accept that's part of the research.
- 7:45So I know for many beginning play therapists, they can feel a
- 7:49lot of pressure in feeling like you need to get this right, I
- 7:55guess. And especially in the beginning,
- 7:58I always say that having experiences of working on the
- 8:03ground, doing play therapy, doing those parent consultations
- 8:06only builds your skill set and your knowledge and your
- 8:09experience. And it is through that
- 8:11experience that we gain that confidence.
- 8:13So I wanna send that special message to anyone who is just
- 8:17diving into their play therapy career.
- 8:20Be super kind to yourselves because it's important that you
- 8:24don't put that much pressure on yourselves because that will
- 8:28often kind of permeate into your work if you're feeling that
- 8:33anxiety. So see it as an opportunity
- 8:36every time you do an initial consultation as an opportunity
- 8:40to build your knowledge and skills as opposed to feeling
- 8:43like it's intimidating, overwhelming, and not knowing
- 8:46where to start. So I definitely want to cover
- 8:49off how to do an initial and ongoing parent consultations.
- 8:53And I need to declare from the outset this is something I use.
- 8:58Certainly, there would be others in our community who use
- 9:01variations of that and we are all welcome in the circle.
- 9:04So I think we all help to build that knowledge and skill set of
- 9:08our profession. So this is just one viewpoint
- 9:11and I'm sure there are many others out there as well.
- 9:14So I had to give that big caveat at the start just so I am
- 9:19outlining, I guess what I'm going to do.
- 9:21So with building those relationships, we've talked
- 9:25earlier episodes about the importance of that therapist
- 9:29parent relationship. It is critical for that success.
- 9:33But I also want to make sure that I emphasise here that it is
- 9:37a gradual process just like we see in the playroom.
- 9:41So it's not going to be something that in that initial
- 9:43consultation, you're going to immediately, you know, connect
- 9:48with a parent and it's going to be highly successful.
- 9:50Sometimes those ruptures and repairs, like we know in the
- 9:53attunement cycle of the kids that we work with in their
- 9:57formative views, that happens with our parents as well.
- 10:00There are times where there is challenges, where there is
- 10:04difficult conversations and so I'm always emphasising when I'm
- 10:07talking about this topic that I think it's really important that
- 10:11we take it gradually. But we are very conscious of
- 10:16investing in that relationship ongoing because it is important
- 10:21for us to work holistically, systemically, but also
- 10:25recognising we will have greater success if we have caregiver buy
- 10:28in. So really focusing on that
- 10:30relationship guys, I can't emphasise that enough.
- 10:32And so how do I do that when I start an initial consultation?
- 10:36So you might be a new play therapist thinking I, I feel so
- 10:39overwhelmed by all of this. I'm not sure where to start or
- 10:44how to do it. So I think as we say in the
- 10:48playroom with children in that first play therapy session, we
- 10:52say that we meet the child, that the play therapy session begins
- 10:56when we meet them in the waiting room.
- 10:58It is exactly the same with parents and caregivers.
- 11:01So when we are connecting with them in the waiting room, it's
- 11:04our beginning opportunity to I guess make a good impression.
- 11:07I don't necessarily see it any more is that I guess, but it's
- 11:10more around wanting to provide an inviting and comfortable and
- 11:16welcoming space. So being really mindful of your
- 11:20waiting room and what that looks like.
- 11:22We have lots of colour, I'm sure you can imagine in our waiting
- 11:26room area. We've got beautiful purple walls
- 11:29and beautiful art and things around the room so that it feels
- 11:33welcoming. We've got couches, things like
- 11:35that. I think everyone's got great
- 11:38ideas, certainly in our circle of what their waiting rooms look
- 11:42like. But being really mindful of that
- 11:44first step of them literally opening the door and coming into
- 11:47your waiting room area, then it's about welcoming, welcoming
- 11:51them in to the space, so bringing them into your
- 11:54consultation room. And I always think, and I don't
- 11:57like to put my pressure, pressure on myself by saying
- 11:59this. And so I want to also say this
- 12:01to you guys too, so that you also don't feel pressure.
- 12:05But I do think that first 5 minutes is kind of crucial.
- 12:08And we know from the research it is too.
- 12:10So if you know, you have a new client and a new parent, they're
- 12:15really going to spend kind of that first 5 minutes sort of
- 12:18deciding, are you somebody that I feel like I connect with or
- 12:22trust? So what do I do to tackle that?
- 12:24Very simply, I stay true to my tenants of CCPTI, am congruent,
- 12:30empathetic and authentic, and I like to help them to feel
- 12:35comfortable. So I will say to them, did you
- 12:38have any trouble finding us today?
- 12:40It seems like a really, I guess, kind of innocuous or kind of
- 12:44casual question, but really it's kind of breaking the ice.
- 12:47And it is like we say in the playroom, in that exploratory
- 12:52stage, kids will often gravitate to the things that they know how
- 12:56to do to help them to build and feel that sense of safety and
- 13:00predictability in the room, right?
- 13:02So we do the same with parents. So we'll say to them, and you're
- 13:05having trouble finding place. The car park is a nightmare,
- 13:08right? Like sometimes it's really hard
- 13:10to find car park. Like I'm just really kind of
- 13:13casually breaking the ice, helping them to help Co regulate
- 13:18because they will be anxious as well.
- 13:20It is a big deal for a parent to come to a therapist and say, I'm
- 13:25having trouble with my child and I don't know what to do.
- 13:28And actually, I'm in crisis like that is so incredibly
- 13:32vulnerable. And so I want to acknowledge
- 13:35that that is a huge step for them literally to come to the
- 13:38office like we do with children like this is, I guess I hope
- 13:42this is making sense in terms of how I connect my work and how
- 13:47CCPT lives in every part of my practise, right?
- 13:50And so I'm always saying that I work with children of all ages.
- 13:53And I genuinely mean that. I think that if we come from
- 13:57that space of recognising that some parents may not have
- 14:01necessarily had their own counselling themselves or
- 14:05therapy intervention as a child when they potentially needed it,
- 14:09we are literally meeting that inner child when we connect with
- 14:12them. So I want to honour that and
- 14:14respect that and acknowledge that and show empathy to that.
- 14:18So that is also very challenging.
- 14:21We know that's challenging the playroom.
- 14:22It's challenging with parents as well.
- 14:24So I'm spending that first 5 minutes breaking the ice.
- 14:28I'm asking them if they need, you know, tea or coffee or
- 14:30water, just making sure that they feel comfortable, that
- 14:34they're where they're seated, you know, they feel OK.
- 14:36Do they need a cushion? That kind of thing.
- 14:38Just so that I want them to be able to regulate themselves
- 14:44enough to be able to start some pretty difficult conversations
- 14:47right around how their child is going.
- 14:50So investing in that time is important.
- 14:52Then we go into, and certainly for me, this is how I like to
- 14:56start on that conversation of an initial consultation of what's
- 14:59brought you here today. And we know that I'm in
- 15:02counselling practise. That's pretty standard for adult
- 15:04counselling clients. I do that because, again, I am
- 15:10coming from the framework of wanting to invest in the parent
- 15:14and wanting to make sure that they feel unseen and heard.
- 15:18We know in the playroom that it's important for kids to feel
- 15:21that sense of safety and trust with us.
- 15:24And so feeling like I'm not directing that meeting with them
- 15:30by asking a bunch of questions and kind of scaffolding I guess
- 15:35that conversation in the beginning.
- 15:37So they feel like, well, you know, the therapist is in the
- 15:40lead. I want them to feel like they
- 15:42can have their say because often times for many of our clients
- 15:47say in the child protection space, in separated family
- 15:50spaces, the parents and maybe it's mom, maybe it's dad, maybe
- 15:54it's both. They don't feel like they've
- 15:56been heard, they don't feel like they've been heard, and they
- 15:59don't feel like anyone is willing or interested to listen.
- 16:04So I really want to invest in that.
- 16:06That's so important. So I'm spending some time saying
- 16:09to them, what has brought you here?
- 16:12What kind of drew you to coming to play therapy?
- 16:15Start wherever you like. And then I'm letting them tell
- 16:19me all of the things I feel like sometimes.
- 16:22And again, for more seasons, play therapist, you might have
- 16:26other experiences. So I, I certainly welcome that
- 16:29feedback as well. But for me, I have found that
- 16:33it's usually I guess two kind of presentations.
- 16:36You've either got a parent who is just so anxious, so
- 16:39overwhelmed, doesn't know where to start, struggles to I guess
- 16:44kind of articulate or is a little bit closed off.
- 16:48And that's OK. We want to acknowledge because
- 16:51again, guys, see how I'm connecting the dots here.
- 16:53If you put that in the paradigm and the framework of CCPT
- 16:58working with kids, we get that in the playroom as well.
- 17:01When kids start therapy, there is those kids that are closed
- 17:04off, they don't talk, they're shot down, they're not looking
- 17:08at us, they've got their back to us.
- 17:09All of that happens in the playroom, right?
- 17:12So what do we do? What do we do with those kids?
- 17:15We trust ourselves, trust the child and trust the process.
- 17:20So it's important. We trust ourselves, we trust the
- 17:23parent or caregiver in this scenario and we trust that this
- 17:26is a process of building that safety and connection with them.
- 17:31So for adults, obviously, because they're not playing at
- 17:34the time, we do have some questions we can use to start to
- 17:38pull that apart. So we might say things like
- 17:41what, what are some of the things that you've noticed at
- 17:43school? What are some of the things
- 17:45you've noticed at home? What are some of those
- 17:47challenges you're experiencing? So we might start to kind of
- 17:49pull some of those questions from them.
- 17:53But it it, you either have two presentations, right?
- 17:56So you're going to have that presentation or you're going to
- 17:58have the parent who talks for like an hour and 15 minutes and
- 18:02you have 15 minutes left to do your questions, right?
- 18:04So we are needing to navigate both and again, if we look at
- 18:09what Gary Landreth says in terms of facilitating that socially
- 18:13acceptable relationship, that is with children of all ages and
- 18:16that includes parents and caregivers.
- 18:18So I think what is incredible about our approach, but also the
- 18:23work we do with parents is that we have this opportunity to be
- 18:29able to role model boundaries in those parent consultations as
- 18:34well. So acknowledging to them, this
- 18:37sounds really important and I really appreciate everything
- 18:41that you've shared. I, I'm keen for us to tackle a
- 18:45few more different topics. So let's tackle this one now.
- 18:50And and so kind of moving through those headings on your
- 18:53initial consultation forms. So taking a step back, I know
- 18:57some practitioners might send questions ahead of time or you
- 19:00might send a questionnaire ahead of time to have a bit of an
- 19:04understanding before that initial consultation in person.
- 19:07I really believe that initial consultation needs to be in
- 19:10person where we can. We are talking about a real
- 19:15relationship here and I think that being able to meet face to
- 19:19face helps foster that. But there certainly is scenarios
- 19:22where say for location or yeah, difficulties getting to the
- 19:27office, we might do it via Zoom or Teams.
- 19:30So we are starting off the conversation, getting them to
- 19:33tell us about the background of the child and the current
- 19:36presenting issues. That's where we're starting in
- 19:38terms of that initial consultation.
- 19:40We then move into a little bit more sorry of a deep dive into
- 19:46that child's formative years. We know when we're working in
- 19:50the playroom and this is how I'm caveating it to parents a little
- 19:54bit. I'm deviating slightly, but
- 19:55I'll, I'll come back when we are certainly working in that third
- 19:59stage of play in the regressive stage.
- 20:02We know that a lot of that content relates to those early
- 20:05years experiences and more specifically those experiences
- 20:10of those attachment relationships with primary
- 20:12caregivers. So I always caveat it to parents
- 20:15to say I, I, I'd love to. Go back a little bit in time, if
- 20:20that's OK, to understand some things around your child in
- 20:25terms of their first couple of years of life.
- 20:27It really helps me in the playroom to understand what the
- 20:31child's communicating. So as much information as you
- 20:34can provide as possible would be great.
- 20:37And so I'm wanting to acknowledge that going back to
- 20:42that time may be potentially traumatic for the parent if they
- 20:46had a traumatic birth, if they had a really difficult
- 20:49pregnancy. So again, throughout my
- 20:51questioning, I'm making sure that I'm communicating that
- 20:54empathy, our core tenets of CCPT, so making sure we're tying
- 20:58it all together as we progress. So I want to know about the
- 21:01pregnancy. I want to know about the birth.
- 21:04I want to know about that first year of life.
- 21:06Did they meet their milestones? That's just the start of the
- 21:09questions in that space. We go on that journey to have a
- 21:13better understanding of those first couple of years so that we
- 21:17can start to understand, OK, what does that attachment
- 21:19relationship between my client and that primary caregiver look
- 21:23like? What were they exposed to in
- 21:25utero? And I, as I've said to you guys
- 21:29before, I truly in the next couple of weeks, now that I've
- 21:32got my studio, I might do an episode on the current research
- 21:38of the impact of 2020 to 2022 on those babies who are now four to
- 21:44six years of age as of this year and are progressing to school.
- 21:48There is a whole conversation with that.
- 21:50So I have that as a question in my intake when I'm talking about
- 21:55that pregnancy and birth, if it is a child between right now
- 21:59between the ages of four to six, I'm asking them what was those
- 22:03years like? What was 2020 to 2022 like for
- 22:06you and your family? Did anyone lose a job?
- 22:09Was their financial stress? How did you guys navigate that?
- 22:12Did your child go to daycare still?
- 22:15Like what did that look like for you guys?
- 22:18Because that's very important. That gives me really helpful
- 22:21information around those first couple of years of life and what
- 22:25that child experienced. That becomes part of their
- 22:29unconscious programming of their relationships with others.
- 22:33We know from Doctor Bruce Lipton's research on the
- 22:36conscious and unconscious mind that this is critical, that
- 22:40first five years of life of them downloading without
- 22:43discrimination and understanding of relationships with others
- 22:47through all of their experiences of those relationships and
- 22:50interactions. So doing so without a philtre
- 22:52and it becomes part of their programme.
- 22:54So we really want to dive into that and understand and and
- 22:57fully I guess kind of comprehend what happened.
- 23:00Am I going to get absolutely every part of the story in that
- 23:03first initial consultation? Absolutely not.
- 23:05This is why this is a process and certainly, you know, we
- 23:10could probably need at least a couple of hours, if not more
- 23:12really to deep dive into some some of the families that we
- 23:16work with and their family of origin history.
- 23:19But we just simply often don't have the time.
- 23:21So that's where those parent consult updates come in handy.
- 23:25And I'm going to talk about that next after these initial
- 23:27consults, because I often use that first parent consult update
- 23:32to say, hey, we didn't get through absolutely everything
- 23:37that I wanted to cover in our initial consultation.
- 23:40Do you mind if I ask you a few more questions just so I can get
- 23:43a really good sense of an understanding of the child's
- 23:45history? So in a very collaborative,
- 23:49yeah, empathetic, accepting way that we are potentially needing
- 23:54to ask the follow up questions. And certainly from the
- 23:57information we get in that initial consultation, sometimes
- 24:01parents and they have many different reasons for why they
- 24:04do this may not give us a true picture.
- 24:08And then we start working with the child and the child tells us
- 24:11in real time because and that's why I love working with kids
- 24:15more than adults, not going to lie, because they don't have a
- 24:19philtre in the way that adults do.
- 24:20And so and often especially for on your divergent kids even more
- 24:25so it it is very transparent what they are telling us.
- 24:29And so we have this opportunity when we do that parent console
- 24:33update to be able then to say, gosh, I'm just wondering and
- 24:38then kind of tackle some of more of that information from those
- 24:41formative views experiences. So we're going through a lot of
- 24:44that and getting a really good sense.
- 24:47I want to understand that relationship between mom and dad
- 24:50or that family system. What did that look like during
- 24:53that formative years? Was there a parental separation?
- 24:56Was there drug and alcohol misuse?
- 24:58Lots and lots of questions around what that family dynamic
- 25:01looked like. What was their support system?
- 25:03What was their network? I'm going to do an eco map and
- 25:06I'm going to do a genogram and I really want to understand and
- 25:10get a better sense of everyone involved with this child's life.
- 25:14And again, am I going to get all the information in that initial
- 25:17console? Probably not and that's OK.
- 25:20We will build on that throughout our intervention and our work.
- 25:23So we are going through all of that information before we then
- 25:28move into tell me about how they went progressing to daycare or
- 25:32school. I want to get a bit bit of an
- 25:34understanding of once they got to a certain age, we've kind of
- 25:38tackled those first couple of years.
- 25:40What then did it look like when it was time for them to progress
- 25:43to daycare or kindy or school, whatever you call it in your
- 25:47part of the world. So I want to deep dive into
- 25:50that. Again, for our families that we
- 25:53are working with at the moment with a four to six year old,
- 25:56that looks like separation anxiety.
- 26:00So if you are working with a four to six year old now or
- 26:02you're about to have a initial consultation with a four to six
- 26:05year old, you can pretty much write that down before you meet
- 26:09them. No, I'm just kidding.
- 26:10You won't do that obviously, but don't be surprised if they
- 26:15mention separation anxiety. So we, and this was actually
- 26:20something I was talking to a supervisor the other day about
- 26:22and really enjoyed the conversation that I had with her
- 26:26about this because I think that what is happening for that
- 26:31population. And again, guys, I've got to do
- 26:32my own podcast episode on this, but what we're seeing in that
- 26:35four to six age group is obviously a much higher than
- 26:40expected presentation of anxiety and depression and separation
- 26:44anxiety. The literature evidence is this.
- 26:47So we are then meeting a population of parents who are
- 26:52obviously really struggling, right, which is why they've come
- 26:55to therapy and why they're meeting with you in this initial
- 26:57intake. But I think there's also a
- 27:00propensity for us to apply child development theory and I guess
- 27:05age appropriate behaviours and expectations without
- 27:08acknowledging that their formative years looked different
- 27:12to what would be normal or typical.
- 27:15So we can't then put an expectation on them at 5 or 6
- 27:20that they should be able to transition to school
- 27:22successfully when they have had these experiences in their
- 27:25formative years. And so when we're using that
- 27:28benchmark of, of child development, we need to have a
- 27:32caveat around that to say this population looks different.
- 27:36This population is not going to move and behave and progress in
- 27:40the same way as somebody a four to six year old we might have
- 27:44seen 10 years ago. So I'm, I'm making sure as I'm
- 27:48asking these questions that I'm also providing that
- 27:50psychoeducation along the way where I can because for some of
- 27:55these parents, and I know for many of my parents where I have
- 27:59broached the topic of 2020 to 22, excuse me, that is really
- 28:03hard to say, 2020 to 2022. Yeah, I got it, that they've
- 28:08never put the dots together themselves.
- 28:10We lived in a world where we were just trying to survive and
- 28:14function and get back to work. And so that moment of connection
- 28:19where you see parents go, yeah, that was part of my experience,
- 28:23too. That is very helpful for parents
- 28:28obviously in building that rapport and connection with
- 28:31them, but also helping to validate some of their feelings
- 28:34and some of their struggles. So very much making sure that we
- 28:39are checking in about that, asking how they've gone, if they
- 28:43are in prep. So I'm saying I'm using
- 28:46terminology guys from Australia and specifically Queensland when
- 28:49I say this. So for our kids that have just
- 28:53started school, they would be between 4 1/2 and 6 here in
- 28:56Queensland. So that is our prep here.
- 28:59So we're asking very much what that looks like and how they
- 29:02have navigated that. OK, so then I want to move into
- 29:07talking about the health of the child and getting a good sense
- 29:12of their medical history. So I want to get an
- 29:15understanding. Is there any diagnosis, has
- 29:18there been any medical intervention in those formative
- 29:21years? Has there been any diagnosis
- 29:24that relate to my work one on one in the playroom?
- 29:28So do they have epilepsy, for example?
- 29:31And what is that plan in terms of supporting the child?
- 29:34So I'm making sure that I clarify and have an
- 29:37understanding of the medical background.
- 29:40Has there been assessments for diagnosis such as autism, such
- 29:46as ADHD or others? So getting a good sense of that
- 29:50and if there is other professionals involved that are
- 29:53supporting that child too, in terms of that medical
- 29:57intervention is good to know. So then I'm making sure that
- 30:01I've got a good understanding around the family of origin
- 30:03history. We've obviously covered a lot in
- 30:06those first few years of life of that pregnancy, birth and those
- 30:10formative years and understanding the milestones
- 30:13that they have achieved. But I also want to get a sense
- 30:15of is there anything else of significance that's important to
- 30:20mention here? And I ask again, because
- 30:23sometimes it is one of those things where parents might be a
- 30:26little bit reluctant, I guess, to kind of have those
- 30:29conversations or we may not get that information in this initial
- 30:35consult. And that's OK.
- 30:36Sometimes as we progress in our therapy work and the child tells
- 30:41us more about their story, we get a better sense of what might
- 30:44have been part of those early years experiences.
- 30:47And parents have good reason at times for why they may or may
- 30:50not disclose that information. But I am prompting the parent a
- 30:53little bit here to gauge. Has there been changes in
- 30:57schools? Have they moved house?
- 30:59Were they involved in a trauma incident like a car accident or
- 31:04a natural disaster or anything that they can think of that they
- 31:09want to mention? So I'm making sure that I've,
- 31:12I've checked that off and then if the child is in prep, so
- 31:17acknowledging that for some of our younger kiddies, they might
- 31:19be just in daycare or once they've started school, I want
- 31:23to understand what that experience has been like for
- 31:26them both emotionally and academically.
- 31:28So I want to understand, are they struggling at school?
- 31:33Are they struggling to do their homework?
- 31:34If they're a little bit older, they struggling with their
- 31:37peers? Are they struggling with support
- 31:40through the school? Are they being assessed for any
- 31:44type of learning difficulty? So lots of questions there
- 31:47around their experience of the education system, which is
- 31:52really helpful as well. I want to confirm then, and I
- 31:56find this particular question really important in this intake.
- 32:00And again, I just want to acknowledge that everyone has
- 32:03their approach to doing these initial consultations.
- 32:06And I'm sure there is headings that I've not covered that you
- 32:09use. So certainly when we post this
- 32:11on our Instagram, please share, you know, is there other
- 32:16headings or other areas that you tackle in your initial
- 32:18consultation? Because I think also too, having
- 32:20a framework for this around these headings or questions that
- 32:24we want to ask also needs to recognise that we are doing a
- 32:30person centred humanistic approach to connection and work
- 32:34with families. So families, children in the
- 32:38playroom and everything in between don't necessarily follow
- 32:42the agenda. And so we acknowledge that we
- 32:45have this scaffolding, I guess, for this initial conversation.
- 32:49But if you find that some of those conversations go in
- 32:53certain areas or topics that are useful and helpful for the
- 32:56parent to discuss and unpack with us, we will obviously give
- 33:01them that space to do so. But one of the things towards
- 33:04the end of this form that I think is really important is
- 33:09their experience or unpacking and understanding of their
- 33:12experience of therapy. We know especially for us play
- 33:18therapist in this space, that often the children that we are
- 33:21engaged with have tried other therapies first and not had
- 33:25success. So maybe they have tried talk
- 33:27based therapies and it hasn't worked and they're looking for
- 33:30an alternative. So I want to get a sense of have
- 33:33they access support before? What's that previous history
- 33:37like? What worked and what didn't
- 33:39work? So did they feel included in
- 33:42that process of therapy? What do they need in terms of
- 33:45communication and updates from the therapist?
- 33:49Because that gives me a really great launchpad to tell them and
- 33:52explain, I guess my boundaries around communication with them,
- 33:57updates with them, my support, and what that looks like in
- 34:01terms of those. Weekly and my preference for
- 34:04weekly play therapy sessions, Four to six week parent consult
- 34:07updates, working with stakeholders, writing reports.
- 34:11I can go through all of my services at that point to tell
- 34:13them a little bit more about what I do.
- 34:16But I also want to acknowledge in our Rogerian practise that
- 34:22they are the experts and they know what works and what doesn't
- 34:26work for them. And so I want to get a clear
- 34:28sense of that so that I can make sure that their experience with
- 34:31me is a +1. So I'm checking in about that
- 34:34and then giving a nice segue into a little explainer around
- 34:39child centre play therapy and what it's all about.
- 34:42I then go into the goals of therapy, which is very
- 34:45important. And again, I will do a separate
- 34:48podcast on that because this episode is going to be so long
- 34:52already because I've got still more to cover.
- 34:55But we, in terms of that process, do the goals and then
- 34:59offer the opportunity for parents to ask questions as
- 35:02well. This is in a perfect world where
- 35:04we feel, feel, go through and complete everything in that time
- 35:10period, which doesn't usually happen.
- 35:12You can imagine just from the questions we've covered so far,
- 35:15it's a lot. It's a lot.
- 35:17So and also too, I'm really mindful, as I said at the start
- 35:21of this conversation, it's so important that we are investing
- 35:24that time in establishing that safety and trust with the parent
- 35:28or caregiver to build that relationship.
- 35:31So we may only get through so much and maybe need to schedule
- 35:34a further intake session if that's the case.
- 35:38Or as I said, sometimes we use that first parent console update
- 35:41as another opportunity. So after we have offered the
- 35:46opportunity for parents to ask us questions and get a real
- 35:51sense of what play therapy is all about, we make sure that we
- 35:55then explore with them whether they would like to continue with
- 35:59us. So it might be a situation where
- 36:01they want to go away and have a think about it, and that's okay.
- 36:04This is as much a process of connecting with the family, with
- 36:09the parent or caregiver and ascertaining if play therapy
- 36:13will be suitable for them as much as am I the right therapist
- 36:16for you, am I the right therapist for your child?
- 36:19And so that is a process of exploration for both parties and
- 36:24important to recognise and honour that consent is voluntary
- 36:28for our parents, certainly in private practise.
- 36:31And so they have that right to decide.
- 36:33So we are, if we're not booking in a play therapy session
- 36:39straight after, in terms of making an appointment at the end
- 36:42of that intake, we are offering the opportunity for parents to
- 36:46get back in touch with us if they would like to book in that
- 36:49play therapy session. So giving them that autonomy of
- 36:52choice. So that is an initial
- 36:55consultation, parent carer consultation.
- 36:58As I said, there is lots of training out there in our
- 37:01beautiful community around how to do an initial consultation.
- 37:04So if you have a slightly different format, that's great
- 37:08as well. That's great.
- 37:10I think that we use the framework and the structure and
- 37:15the scaffolding that works for us as the individual play
- 37:18therapist. So this is simply suggestions to
- 37:21add to your practise. So we are going to pause there
- 37:26because we have so much content we want to cover for introducing
- 37:32the topic and unpacking initial parent consultations and ongoing
- 37:36parent consultations that we just couldn't fit it all into
- 37:40one episode. So we've got A2 parter for you
- 37:43guys. So thank you so much for
- 37:45watching today. We have much, much more to cover
- 37:48next week, so we will have a Part 2 of conducting parent
- 37:53consultations, including initial and ongoing parent
- 37:56consultations. So you will just have to stick
- 37:59around next week to hear the second half of our conversation
- 38:02on this. It is not the end either.
- 38:04I know we'll do many more episodes in this space, but
- 38:07thank you so much for listening. And please, please, please, as
- 38:11always, check us out on the socials.
- 38:13We're on Facebook, Instagram and TikTok at the Play Therapy
- 38:17Circle Podcast, and you can also reach us now by email if you
- 38:21want to suggest some ideas for future podcast topics.
- 38:25We're always keen to hear from you.
- 38:27So hello at playtherapycircle.com.
- 38:30We would love to hear from you. So thank you so much for being
- 38:33here. Please, please, please be kind
- 38:35to yourselves and each other. And we will get back into this
- 38:39next week for Part 2. See you then.
- 38:42Bye. Thank you so much for being here
- 38:47for another episode of The Playtherapy Circle.
- 38:50If anything resonated with you today, I'd love it if you could
- 38:54follow the podcast, share it with a colleague, or leave a
- 38:57short review. It really helps others find our
- 39:00circle. And if you have a topic or
- 39:02question you'd love me to explore, I'd love to hear from
- 39:05you. This space is for you and I
- 39:07wanted to feel like a conversation.
- 39:10Until next time, take care of yourself and remember you belong
- 39:15here.