Latest / Mic Drop Comedy / CROWD WORK PACK_ MEMPHIS_ TN

Transcript

CROWD WORK PACK_ MEMPHIS_ TN · Mic Drop Comedy

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Can I ask you something? Kids, you might want to
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: earmuffs for where we're about to go. We're about to
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: get brushed. No, I need to know if he's fucking
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: your mama. I need to.
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: Know.
• 0:12
  Speaker 3: Miffy's gonna sing.
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: Miffy!
• 0:16
  Speaker 3: Grace Flynn, Nate Jackson.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: Look at all the women fixing their hair and shit.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Y'all didn't know the lights was gonna be out? Every video,
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: the lights is on. Nobody notice. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 0:32
  Speaker 4: I'm gonna look at you, you gonna look at me.
• 0:34
  Speaker 4: Ain't gonna be no looking at me from the dark.
• 0:35
  Speaker 4: Too many motherfuckers been yelling out, comfortable in the dark.
• 0:39
  Speaker 4: Now the light is on, I bet you second guessing.
• 0:42
  Speaker 4: Shut your loud, goofy ass up. I'm starting with you,
• 0:53
  Speaker 4: with your big, top, forehead ass.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: Stand up. Stand up. Are you a midget? What's your name?
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: Big Lex?
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: Oh, security is concerned, Big Lex. Sit down. Please. And
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: who you with, Lex? How come no man helped you down?
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: Who you with?
• 1:21
  Speaker 5: You got a speaker in the back of your back-end
• 1:23
  Speaker 5: phone here. Oh, y'all rock paper.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: The scissors! Man, I hear y'all so damn many. Shit.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: How long y'all been rubbing on? Four years? Y'all married?
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: Not yet?
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: You gonna marry her? Loud as she is. What you
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: saying without saying it? Lex, look at me. Lock in.
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: It's in the car.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: We gotta go get your d * * *. Alright,
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: we'll get your d * * *. We're gonna get
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: your d * * *. When you come back, what's
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: your d * * *? We're gonna have her suck your.
• 2:10
  Speaker 6: D * * *.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: How do you.
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: Make money?
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: Do people try to s * * * you? What
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: do you do? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Look
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: at me. What do you do for a living? You're
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: a landscaper? You just be yelling at the grass, huh?
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: Cut! Cut!
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: Fall down, grass! The grass was like, here you go,
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: this bitch. You probably look at the grass through those
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: glasses and cook it.
• 2:47
  Speaker 5: Them goddamn glasses are thick as a motherfucker.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: Look how little your eyes got when you took that
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: shit off.
• 2:55
  Speaker 5: You look like Cian from Ice Age.
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: Sit down!
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: That's the sloth. That's what you gave me. You said,
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: we know. What's up, sugar? All right, let's talk to
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: some people. Oh, we got an R & B singer
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: in this bitch. How you doing, sir?
• 3:12
  Speaker 5: Right there in the Carl Thomas hat and the shiny jacket.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, the Jamie Foxx shirt. Stand up, man. Let them
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: see you, man. Memphis is in this bitch's dress. Well...
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: You said, don't do me like that, baby. Don't do
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: me like that, baby. What do you do for a living, man?
• 3:33
  Speaker 7: Huh?
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: Auto detailing? There's good money in there. Everybody got a car.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: Mr.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: Queen, you got your arm around? I'm standing. She got
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: her shiny.
• 3:44
  Speaker 7: Shit on, too.
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: Y'all stepped out.
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: I like that, man.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: I ain't no clown. Y'all dressed.
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: I like that.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: How did y'all meet and stuff? Tell me a love
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: origin story. My mother-in-law. Who was your mother-in-law?
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: Oh, okay.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: So there's a whole family there. Where does the family
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: stop on the road? The white people? He looked at
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: me like, come on, you know that's not my relatives, motherfucker.
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: Shut up, Nate. Shut the fuck up. He detailed my
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: car twice. It has not been your family. How far
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: down do you go? That's where it stops?
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: So this is your.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: That's your mother-in-law. This young man here with the shiny face,
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: who's that?
• 4:30
  Speaker 6: Hold on, there's something in my eye.
• 4:33
  Speaker 5: Let me see my reflection on your head. That's your
• 4:39
  Speaker 5: little brother.
• 4:41
  Speaker 6: Then?
• 4:41
  Speaker 5: Hold on.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: Is this real or y'all just did this in the car?
• 4:59
  Speaker 8: Y'all like, we about to fuck his head up.
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: Sir, you are the youngest person in that whole scenario
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: right there. How old are you? You 40? Well, you
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: look good for your age. And then how old are you?
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: Who's 68?
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: You are 28 years older than him?
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: And proud.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: Every woman clapping right now is a fucking pervert. I
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: don't give a fuck.
• 5:31
  Speaker 5: I don't see nothing wrong with a little puppy crying. Nigga,
• 5:37
  Speaker 5: your stepdaddy is younger than you. You're talking about go
• 5:42
  Speaker 5: to bed.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: He's like, motherfucker, who you talking to? To how old
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: are you?
• 5:49
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 5:50
  Speaker 9: You a million older than your stepdaddy? Did you know
• 5:57
  Speaker 9: him first? Is he your homeboy? He just kept going upstairs?
• 6:02
  Speaker 9: You're like, your mama ain't doing shit on the collard greens, man.
• 6:05
  Speaker 9: I need some more of them collard greens in my life.
• 6:08
  Speaker 9: This is a fucked up story.
• 6:10
  Speaker 5: One year, older than your stepdaddy is crazy.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: But your mama getting her groove back. She happy to
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: the butt. She be on the cruisers. She be knocking
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: me back.
• 6:25
  Speaker 8: Hell yeah, y'all be getting your hair dreaded together, y'all
• 6:27
  Speaker 8: be getting twisted at the same time. How did you
• 6:31
  Speaker 8: meet a 28-year-old senior woman?
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: You met her at a casino? I know that's where
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: she was at. She was down there with all her girls. Bitch,
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: I'm winning, hell yeah. I'm up like a motherfucker, 52 hours.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: You just walked up to her like, hey baby girl.
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: She spoke to you?
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: Mom.
• 6:58
  Speaker 8: He was just trying to walk by your machine.
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: And you grabbed him and said, hey, young man, young man,
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: young man. I'm in the jackpot, y'all. How old are you?
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: I'm 40.
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: My son your age. What'd you say? This your daughter?
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: She ain't laughed at none of this Asian shit. This
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: whole time she ain't like, yeah, it is fucked up, man,
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: real shit. How long y'all been together?
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: Eight years.
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: How old are you, mama?
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: How old are you?
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: 68?
• 7:50
  Speaker 5: So he was 60 and pulled down a 32-year-old.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: He was in his second job of his life.
• 8:01
  Speaker 7: How did that go?
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: She was like, okay, y'all.
• 8:08
  Speaker 9: I'm about to introduce y'all to somebody.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: I'm in love. Say, y'all be nice.
• 8:16
  Speaker 5: And then she pushed him out in a stroller.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: And he was like, binky, binky.
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: Y'all ever heard of Mr.
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: Pinterest's love story? Where y'all from? Mississippi? Yeah, that's how
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: it went. Look at all the members, and you go, whoo, shit.
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: That was a.
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: Close one, man. Goddamn.
• 8:42
  Speaker 9: It sounded like y'all though. It did a little bit.
• 8:45
  Speaker 9: That scared the shit out of y'all. This is normal
• 8:47
  Speaker 9: in Mississippi. That ain't gonna fight in Mississippi. He over
• 8:51
  Speaker 9: her in Mississippi.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: What part of Mississippi y'all from?
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: Where?
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: The west part?
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: Westport.
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: Is there other people from there? She done set off.
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: You can ask me, what's up? Give me a big laugh,
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: but I can't say nothing. That's why I'm good. Such
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: a little slow ass son.
• 9:19
  Speaker 8: Dang, I guess love, you can find it anywhere, huh?
• 9:24
  Speaker 8: Just at the casino on the riverboat in Mississippi from
• 9:27
  Speaker 8: a young man who was just trying to make some tips.
• 9:29
  Speaker 8: And y'all in love. She be talking to you, who
• 9:35
  Speaker 8: go to bed first?
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: Who'll go to bed?
• 9:41
  Speaker 5: Who'll be like, I'm going to call her tonight.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: You'll be up late, huh?
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: Oh, 2K.
• 9:49
  Speaker 6: You'll be up late and she'll be like, you know,
• 9:51
  Speaker 6: I had to catch the news right about now. You
• 9:55
  Speaker 6: want some grits?
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: I made some grits. Some big bacon apple boy.
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: You're not young now.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: Come on, Gladys, you know I'm tired.
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: I was up all night.
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: What's your name, love? I don't know. I'm still talking
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: to the older lady. That's what the other lady said.
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: What's your name, Uncle? Vicky and Jermaine. Vicky and Jermaine.
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: Goddamn.
• 10:20
  Speaker 7: And I just came over here because.
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: You look like an arm-wrestling. And I have found the most,
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: the biggest age disparagement I've ever felt in my life.
• 10:31
  Speaker 7: Your age group is longer than I've even been doing comedy.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: Can I ask you something? Kids, you might want earmuffs
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: right now.
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: You might want to be brushed.
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: No, I need to know if he can fuck me
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: in my mouth.
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: I don't even know.
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: I didn't even know what it is.
• 10:57
  Speaker 9: Look at him, he's mopping my shit back. That motherfucker
• 11:01
  Speaker 9: pulled out one of my dreads yesterday. Like Marshawn Lynch,
• 11:06
  Speaker 9: if you do.
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: God damn.
• 11:10
  Speaker 5: Do you even know the music she's talking to?
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: She's like, hold on, this is my shit. It's that
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: goddamn Bobby Blue Blank.
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: What's this all about?
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: That's a record, young man. That's a record. Oh, I
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: heard of that.
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: What's y'all sex playlist down there?
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: Is it her music or your music? You don't have
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: a sex playlist? Y'all just fucking silent? She's just saying
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: old shit to me? Yes. Yes, yes, yes.
• 12:04
  Speaker 6: If you don't stand for anything, you'll fall for anything.
• 12:13
  Speaker 6: I have a dream. Yeah, I have a dream that
• 12:17
  Speaker 6: one day folded a boy and folded a girl. She said,
• 12:22
  Speaker 6: Martin Luther King's speech is in your ear.
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: And you don't even know that. I'm hard as a motherfucker.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry.
• 12:30
  Speaker 6: I've been to the mountain top.
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: Eight years, she done cussed you out before. You came
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: home late.
• 12:43
  Speaker 5: I told your little ass to bring your mother fucking
• 12:45
  Speaker 5: your ass in it's goddamn mouth.
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: She done took your car key, that's it. She done
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: put me your ass in your argument.
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: You don't know what.
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: She said, we don't argue. Ain't nothing to talk about.
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: I'm not denying it. Rule number three, fuck y'all.
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: She happy.
• 13:11
  Speaker 5: Listen, she is truly, I don't know if y'all see her,
• 13:14
  Speaker 5: but she's happy as a motherfucker. Some of y'all make somebody, yo, hey,
• 13:17
  Speaker 5: you miserable little motherfucker. She went and had a toddler.
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: She happy. This is gross.
• 13:27
  Speaker 5: Let me find some regular, traditional love.
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: You guys are together, right? Y'all look, yeah, hell yeah.
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: Y'all got your arms the same. Lady, are you holding
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: your elbow? We already talked about this. I ain't got
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: nowhere to put it.
• 13:40
  Speaker 3: I don't want you to get in trouble, but I.
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: Don't have to. Y'all should just relax. I know, I know.
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: Just let your arms out, baby. It's okay. You can
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: let go, too. As a matter of fact, all the
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: fat people.
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: In the crowd.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: Starting with you, just relax. It's okay to let.
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: Your arms hang.
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: Your arms look like they got stuck onto you, please.
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: Why you keep... Mr.
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: And Mrs.
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: Potato Man. So if you let your arms fall, where
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: do they go? Do that, do that. There you go. Look,
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: she's like, see, that's my mother in the chiseled back.
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: You can put his hand on her. I wouldn't see that.
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: You reach right in there.
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: There it is.
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: Hot pocket.
• 14:29
  Speaker 5: I like how you got comfortable.
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: That's all I want. I want you to just relax
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: and get comfortable, you know what I'm saying? And so
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: how about y'all in here? You got a big-ass wedding
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: on the wrong hand. You got it on each hand.
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: You love her that much? You get the right hand out?
• 14:47
  Speaker 7: Dang.
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: That's four characters. Man, we are in Memphis.
• 14:54
  Speaker 5: Are you listening?
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: You better calm the fuck down. I think it's four characters.
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: PDF clarity. See, they're like, ooh, we got one, bitch.
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: How long have y'all been together?
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: 17 years.
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: That's good old shit. What's the secret, man? How do
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: you make it 17 years?
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: You met on Thursday?
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: You said you were trying to fuck off breakfast? Wait, wait,
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: slow down. I didn't even know you could date on breakfast.
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: I thought that was for end tables and shit like that.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: So is there a dating category? Slow down, slow down.
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: Slow down.
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: You got a lot of draw in your shit. I
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: wouldn't say, I don't know. You can just goof around
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: any guy one night.
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: Have a few beers.
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: Put that on the fridge with some wine.
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: She doesn't like the beers.
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: She doesn't like the beers.
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: He said, her dumb ass responded to it.
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: And that's all she wrote. And you, so you were
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: on Craigslist, this.
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: And Craigslist dating?
• 16:27
  Speaker 7: I didn't know that.
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: I thought it was just on the left-hand side.
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: Is it still on there?
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: You're not good?
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: Because they sell it on the internet now.
• 16:37
  Speaker 7: You started getting nervous as the day.
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: Got closer? Hold on, most men, as it's coming, that's
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: when we man up.
• 16:53
  Speaker 7: I had a little 21-year-old, too, at the time.
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: You had a 21-year-old? How old were you then? 35, 36? 71? 88?
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: How old were you when you had the 21-year-old? Apparently
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: it's okay to have children. What'd you say? You were
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: 40 and you had the 21-year-old? We are getting too
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: much shit tonight.
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: You had a kid already too?
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: Or she was talking about the 21 year old? You
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: had five kids? Outside her? The Lord said multiply. The
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: Lord said multiply? You was talking about water and wine.
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: You wasn't talking.
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: About you loving everybody you got there.
• 17:44
  Speaker 8: Oh yeah.
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: So you had five kids.
• 17:49
  Speaker 10: Did you do.
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: That, man?
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: So you're like, so what are you into? He's like,
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: just raising my girls. You're like, how many? He said, five.
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: And you were like, you were still interested.
• 18:00
  Speaker 5: Most women, that's enough that they just, they log out.
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: Five girls.
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: And you had two of your own? A boy and
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: a girl. Okay. And.
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: That's a lot of goddamn kids.
• 18:15
  Speaker 5: What do you do for a living if you can
• 18:18
  Speaker 5: support seven fucking people, eight people?
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: You build houses?
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: Oh, give me a hundred grand.
• 18:27
  Speaker 7: We're the gods of the money, y'all.
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's why you can't put your arm through money
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: too much money. So he's very rich. It's your third
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: time seeing me?
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: St. Louis twice?
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: This is my first time meeting you.
• 18:45
  Speaker 5: No, this is my first time finding out about these
• 18:49
  Speaker 5: seven-year-old kids.
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: There's a lot of people peeing right now.
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: It's got them.
• 18:55
  Speaker 5: You want.
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: Go to the bathroom.
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: Who's in here?
• 19:04
  Speaker 8: So since you ain't no dope dealer, right down here,
• 19:06
  Speaker 8: she can get you right.
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: So you got her now? A little bit or a lot?
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: She got from one to ten? All right, take me.
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: Nine?
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: Sir, you don't say that out loud.
• 19:21
  Speaker 5: You're supposed to say ten and then get in the
• 19:23
  Speaker 5: car and be like, you know I.
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: Don't do this shit right.
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: You know I.
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: Don't really know how to do it right. Who likes
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: me more? He loves you more than you love.
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: Him. It's alright, my cup is numb. You know.
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: You be in the car trying to go to the store,
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: you roll.
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: Outside, it rains.
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: Store, you roll outside.
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: It rains.
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: What the fuck? You didn't even say bye to me.
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: I'm going to the fucking gas station, bitch. I'll be
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: right back.
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: I'm 16 years old.
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: I didn't even say bye to you.
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: You think I'm gonna stop? I could be dead.
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: Just slowly on out of here, rippin.
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: And runnin'..
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: Oh my God. That's a very good kid to be
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: in a couple like that. What about y'all, like, y'all
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: on the duck? Hell yeah, the heavy D and the boys.
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: Y'all know him, man?
• 20:30
  Speaker 7: Ron Weasley?
• 20:39
  Speaker 5: And a manger in the front. So what, you got
• 20:43
  Speaker 5: a ranch or something? You look like you don't deal
• 20:46
  Speaker 5: with cattle on the regular basis.
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: What do you do? You run a restaurant? What's it called? Coles.
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: Is that what you do? Wildfire Flames in Michigan. Look
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: at Wildfire. Pan down there trying to get Wildfire. He said, bye-bye.
• 21:09
  Speaker 7: So you work at Colton's, which, is there more than
• 21:14
  Speaker 7: one location?
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: Which one you at? We all gonna come. Mary and Arkansas,
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: we all not coming. I wouldn't need to be close,
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: we could just fuck them up. They'd be like, do
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: you remember when the fucking Donald motherfucker showed up? Yeah, well.
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: So you not a cop, are you a hick? A
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: little bit?
• 21:36
  Speaker 8: Well, I see you got a little dip there on
• 21:37
  Speaker 8: your chest. You don't know, yeah, you got your tobacco
• 21:40
  Speaker 8: on your chest, probably. Usually that's the back part of that.
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: You're like, no, I got to get a hold of
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: that motherfucker. I'm just fucking with you. What do you
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: do at course? You cooking back there? You the man?
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: You put the dip in at the restaurant? You know
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: what I mean? Dry ass balls. When I'm... Who you with?
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: This chair empty.
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: You girl was right there? She went to the bathroom?
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: What's her name? Emma? When she get back, I'm going
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: to have fun with that.
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: You're going to set her up.
• 22:17
  Speaker 7: She what?
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: She going to love it. And what's your name?
• 22:22
  Speaker 5: Jake.
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: Jake and Emma.
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: Okay, why you say all?
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: We decided to go together a little bit. I'm gonna
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: sit in there in.
• 22:33
  Speaker 3: The tree, fingering each other.
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: I-N-G.
• 22:36
  Speaker 5: All right, let me talk to, down here we got
• 22:41
  Speaker 5: Destiny Shop.
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: Is this a church choir?
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: Anybody in the right?
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: Is this a church? Start right here. Beyoncé. Glasses. And
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: then down. Y'all don't, this whole moment don't know each other? No?
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: .
• 23:04
  Speaker 7: .
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: .
• 23:11
  Speaker 7: .
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: .
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry.
• 23:23
  Speaker 5: They were trying to get y'all in here, but I
• 23:24
  Speaker 5: said you had to lean forward just because they were
• 23:26
  Speaker 5: leaning back.
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: Matter of fact, that's what y'all should do. You should
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: lean forward, lean back. Just take turns. In the blue,
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: you don't have to. Just lean forward. No, no, not you.
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: Right there.
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: Just pop out. Like a Southwest flight.
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: I wanted to meet somebody that.
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: All the couples in front... Is that a look away?
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: Okay, sis, I see you.
• 23:54
  Speaker 8: Okay, you looking away too?
• 24:00
  Speaker 11: You locked in? Right here, focus on Beetlejuice. Yeah, that's
• 24:08
  Speaker 11: a goddamn Beetlejuice-ass shirt, bitch. Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice. Three times,
• 24:13
  Speaker 11: you pop up.
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: Excuse me. This your man you got.
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: In the headlock?
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: That's your husband? How long y'all been together? 22 years. Oh, oh.
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: She's just 17. And she raised this year. And y'all
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: got kids? Five, six, seven kids outside of y'all? Seven kids. Together? See,
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: that's how y'all should.
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: Okay, anyway, so.
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: Do you.
• 24:36
  Speaker 12: Know all of them?
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: Sir, name the kids right now. Name them right now, sir.
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: Fire them off. I thought you were going to get it.
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: He's like Tina Tyrone, Tyrone Chain.
• 24:59
  Speaker 6: Ah, fuck.
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: What's the baby's name? There's two Jesses? You said Jesse already.
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: Start over.
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: All seven babies, go. No, no, no, hold on.
• 25:17
  Speaker 8: You said two names, but here's your finger once. You're
• 25:21
  Speaker 8: like Jack Tamera. Let's start over. This is a lesson
• 25:26
  Speaker 8: in pull out or.
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: Get a comment. He don't even know he got that
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: baby's name. Sir, I'm posting this on the internet too.
• 25:34
  Speaker 8: So whichever baby you keep fucking up on is going
• 25:37
  Speaker 8: to be right here and say, really?
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: Really, dad?
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: Really? So let's start from the top. Chrissy, that's your favorite.
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: There's a nap.
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: Tyronne, John.
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: Let's start over again. I want you to get through
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: all of your children. Let's start over.
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: Chrissy.
• 25:59
  Speaker 3: John.
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: Jessica. Alexis.
• 26:06
  Speaker 6: Jackson.
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: This nigga said six babies. Sir, you have completely forgot
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: one of your children. Who did you? His wife's like,
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: oh my God, you just forgot Amanda. Let's try it again.
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: Think of all your kids first. He said, help me out, shit. No,
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: I know you don't know. Women know their kids. It's
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: the men that's like, I just keep coming home with checks.
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: So who are your children? Here we go. Everybody hold
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: a finger up.
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: This is crazy.
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: Here we go.
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: Chrissy.
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: Tyrant.
• 26:53
  Speaker 7: Tamara.
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: John.
• 26:56
  Speaker 6: Janeska. Vanessa.
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: Alexis, Jackson.
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: All right.
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: So he forgot Alexis three times. I want you to
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: know that. Damn, I'm gonna pull. All right, so what's
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: the secret to love? Like, what's the key? If I
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: want to find it, how do I find it? Be
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: best friends? Trash. That is not the secret. No, fuck that.
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: No.
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: My parents have been together 53, 54 years. Ain't no
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: best friends in my house at all. My dad be like, bitch,
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: I'm going to the garage.
• 27:31
  Speaker 6: My mom be like, stay out there till our anniversary,
• 27:36
  Speaker 6: you motherfuckers.
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: It ain't no best friend. You can't be, nah. You
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: can be good friends. Best friends tell each other everything.
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: He don't even know your goddamn daughter's name, man. Let's
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: finish knowing each other's kids' names. Sir, what's the secret?
• 27:53
  Speaker 7: Be real.
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: Talk to me like she's not.
• 27:57
  Speaker 5: Here.
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: He goes, yeah, he tries.
• 27:58
  Speaker 5: He looks.
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: He says, be best friends. We better have number eight
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: in this money bag.
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: Shit.
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: She said, why are you sitting like that? You talk
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: to all dudes. I don't give a fuck.
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: Fuck this.
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: Fuck this. You know my motherfucking baby.
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: Fuck this.
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: This is amazing. So the secret to love is to
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: be best friends. And you don't stand no business. You
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: mean that.
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: Play like kids.
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: Well, that's what they doing. What were they playing like yesterday?
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: Prohibition 73. Were you 74? It was 74? How old
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: were you again?
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: 75.
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: You're gonna get older every time I look at that.
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: Six years old.
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: Beautiful. Okay.
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: Now walk right here in the green right here.
• 28:54
  Speaker 7: So you look like a postal worker that be fucking
• 28:58
  Speaker 7: people up.
• 28:58
  Speaker 10: You look like Paul Pierce with a bad thyroid. Can
• 29:08
  Speaker 10: you show him in the green right here?
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: I'll stay.
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: I'll stay.
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: And so this is your woman laughing at you uncontrollably.
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: How long y'all been together?
• 29:27
  Speaker 5: Six months.
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: No. No, no.
• 29:31
  Speaker 7: You don't even know her middle name.
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: You don't know how to start her car. She'll break
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: down in six months. She's still on the same box
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: of tampons.
• 29:41
  Speaker 7: It'll take ten months to get you a whole box.
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: She's still on the same box. Do you love her
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: already or just like right now?
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: Six months.
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: Some people don't act like that.
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: They do.
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: You love him? Is that what you just said? You
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: absolutely love him? Let me tell you what his face
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: is doing. I didn't say that. I'm not there yet.
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: I believe in love, man. I don't know if y'all
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: know this. That's my whole thing. I want to know
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: how people found it. What'd you say, baby?
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: Play matchmaker?
• 30:27
  Speaker 7: Maybe.
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: Let's see how I feel.
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: This is my goddamn show. What I want to do
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: is celebrate love.
• 30:34
  Speaker 11: If you're in here with your person, and you love them, look.
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: Them in the face and say, I love you. Why
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: are you being miserable?
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: Damn.
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: She's by herself like.
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: Now, nobody can say it's not true.
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry, baby.
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: All right, let's turn it up, turn up the stakes
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: a little bit. If you're in here with your person
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: and you love them, look them in the face, say,
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: I love you, and then kiss them in the mouth. Oh, yeah.
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: I like that. Oh, you gonna hold her bun and
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: get you some sugar? Okay.
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: Did you get a kiss? Sugar, right there, Tennessee. You
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: got you some sugar.
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: Let me see it. I missed it.
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: Give him a little kiss. I like how you did
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: your hat for her. Uh, 77-year-old lady, did you get... Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
• 31:27
  Speaker 6: So I wasn't ready.
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: I didn't leave.
• 31:28
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 31:28
  Speaker 7: She was like, hold on.
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: I love you. She said it in.
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: She got that kiss, though.
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: Hey, hold on.
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: Hey, hey, hey. Where the hell y'all going? You gotta
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: get up right now.
• 31:57
  Speaker 2: Some of this shit is 79 and over.
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: Shit ain't going nowhere. Hey, Terry Crews. Yeah, that's a
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: pastor right there. You gotta get up out of there.
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: He's a Walmart pastor. Excuse me, y'all. Let me get
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: up out of there. I don't want to get up.
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: Hurry up, sir.
• 32:17
  Speaker 5: Damn, sir.
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: I'm coming, James.
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: I'm coming. Chill.
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: How do we get out of.
• 32:26
  Speaker 7: This motherfucker?
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: God damn, James. I don't know how we get out
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: of this bitch, but I'm going to keep walking. I
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: know the Lord is in greatness. Ooh, James, we got
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: to hurry up. Hey, y'all, I'm seeing y'all tonight.
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: Check it out. Yes, sir.
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: Make sure you have your money ready.
• 32:48
  Speaker 2: Come on, sir.
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: You got that. Sick of this.
• 32:53
  Speaker 6: Shit.
• 32:54
  Speaker 12: Well, I was put on to Nate Jackson by my husband.
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: He listened to him all the time.
• 32:58
  Speaker 12: So it was a really good show. The roasting session
• 33:03
  Speaker 12: was my favorite.
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: I love to hear just good raw comedy.
• 33:09
  Speaker 6: So it was real good.
• 33:10
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: Say something.
• 33:14
  Speaker 12: Really weird spot. We're actually in Graceland. This is Elvis' house.
• 33:19
  Speaker 12: I had no idea there was a whole compound at Graceland,
• 33:24
  Speaker 12: but there's like several little things.
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: It was a great show though, man.
• 33:28
  Speaker 12: It was fun.
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: Memphis, I love y'all, man.
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: I fucking.
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: Love y'all.
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: I fucking love y'all, man. Let me say it.