Latest / Freedom Flip / Why Couples Keep Trying to Change Each Other - EP028

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Why Couples Keep Trying to Change Each Other - EP028 · Freedom Flip

0:00
The thing no one will talk about is the most important thing to talk about.
0:02
The thing no one wants to or is unwilling to or uncomfortable, that's what to talk about.
0:06
To put it all on the table and people would be like, wait, no, I want to commit to this.
0:10
Then it flips and be like, this is worth saving.
0:12
This is something I really want to be in.
0:14
This is what kills me to break my brain is everyone stops at two now.
0:18
It's the hardest one.
0:19
That's the peak.
0:20
Don't stop at two.
0:21
Go for the third one.
0:22
It forces you into this freedom and it just sets you free as a parent.
0:26
It takes off the shackles and sets you free.
0:28
And when you unleash yourself, unchain yourself, and guess what?
0:31
The kids chill out.
0:32
If you hate it, unsubscribe, golf, don't watch the .
0:35
Don't waste your time with us.
0:36
Flip it, Pablo.
0:37
If you hate it, think about why you hate us, and are we showing you something that you hate about yourself?
0:42
The moment that somebody's like, I want out of this, I want them to sit with it, go in a room by themselves and think, what is it about us and that we may represent?
0:49
Or part of them that wants to come out from that locked cage?
0:51
And what if they let it out just for one day?
0:55
You've been a dad for five and something years.
0:58
Now, let's say six years.
0:59
How did you get to the point right now?
1:02
Of course, a lot of personal development, personal growth, mindset shifting, mindset upgrades, software upgrades.
1:08
But two questions.
1:10
One, how were you with the first kid?
1:13
And then what was the transition for you to get to the place that you are right now?
1:17
It's a really good question.
1:18
I think a lot of people don't get married, right?
1:21
The old way was you get married young, you become the best people together, right?
1:26
You know, you think about you throw two gems in a bag, you shake the bag up, and that creates these beautiful gems, right?
1:33
They kind of sharpen each other, they polish each other off.
1:35
Kids are the same thing, right?
1:37
People are like, oh, well, I'm not financially there yet, or I'm not mentally there yet, I need to be better.
1:42
They polish the hell out of our weak spots and our dark corners.
1:47
They just polish them if we allow them to do that.
1:51
And we see that it's us who can create the list and grow.
1:55
So when I think about my first kid, it's just, it's pure adrenaline excitement.
1:59
It's a different kind of challenge because you have the false software that thinks the kid's going to die every hour if someone's not watching it.
2:05
So you're like, oh, who's watching it?
2:07
It might just die.
2:08
Like the switch flips and it's dead.
2:10
These are really rugged pieces of hardware and software.
2:14
So it's the first one.
2:15
It's like you have the biggest stress on your shoulders ever because you think it's going to die.
2:19
The second one, you're trying to run the same software, right?
2:23
Okay, two-year-old needs to be watched at all hours or like mostly, depending on how strict the parenting is.
2:28
And the newborn has to be watched or it will die.
2:31
And I won't catch it and I'll forever hate myself because I'm a bad mom or dad.
2:35
Now, that's a new stress because you can't do that.
2:39
I mean, especially with two parents, it's just not possible.
2:42
So it breaks you.
2:43
And that breaks open, right?
2:45
I think of the cocoon.
2:47
You're in a dark cocoon.
2:48
You're in like the darkest cave, like I can't operate.
2:52
It breaks.
2:53
And this butterfly comes out with a third child.
2:55
This is what I experienced in our family.
2:57
And this is what I've seen again and again and again.
2:59
where the third child, suddenly the software gets broken.
3:02
And it's like, wait, the third child, I didn't, where is the third child?
3:08
Oh my gosh, I left it in the basement of the house.
3:11
And it's just sitting happily napping in its seat.
3:14
You know, and I've got a four-year-old screaming at me because, or a two-year-old, like in a terrible twos.
3:20
And you're like, oh.
3:21
Oh.
3:21
It's fine.
3:23
And that breaks open the mind to be like, wow, I'm free.
3:27
So I think part of it is this natural transition that occurs.
3:31
And it happened for me.
3:32
I observe it.
3:33
And I don't want to demean one child is so hard, but it's our software that makes it so hard.
3:39
It's our belief system that, you know, whatever puts it, something, someone, this kid has to be watched every minute.
3:46
Sometimes it's a mom, you know, with this mom guilt, like the baby always has to be watched.
3:50
Like I need to go to the bathroom.
3:51
Can you watch the baby?
3:52
Like it doesn't need to be watched.
3:53
Ironically.
3:54
With two kids, it's a little bit more it needs to be watched only because, do you know the highest chance of death for a newborn when it has an older sibling?
4:03
Choking?
4:03
The older sibling basically killing it or hurting it accidentally.
4:07
It's actually pools in America's number one.
4:10
But like our pediatrician said, yeah, the biggest threat to its life is its big brother.
4:18
But like what?
4:19
Oh, dude, like the baby's up on a changing table, it pulls it off.
4:22
I see.
4:23
Or you have you have it in, you know, on a countertop and it drags.
4:27
We had a hilarious story.
4:28
And I always love to like mention our failures.
4:31
This was kind of like in my mind, one of the few things you really worry about.
4:34
So my wife had our newborn was was on the ground on this like blanket.
4:40
She walked out to grab one thing, left the newborn.
4:44
Our
4:45
two-year-old saw the mom go to the bathroom, to grab something or go to the bathroom.
4:49
And you've been to our house, but there's two steps from the master bedroom, from the primary bedroom, master bedroom down.
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He grabbed the blanket and pulled it to go with mom, pulled her down beautifully,
5:01
You know, the baby, her head was on a pillow.
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So it was just a fun little ride.
5:06
And he pulled her all the way down the stairs.
5:08
And Hollick comes out of the bathroom room and screams because the baby's just there.
5:13
And you hear these stories from every parent.
5:14
And I don't condone this.
5:15
It's not like a proud moment for us as parents.
5:18
But that is a real risk, right?
5:20
It's like the little kids wiring.
5:22
He was trying to help.
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He was like, oh, I'm going to bring the baby to you because the baby should be with you.
5:27
I think that's a real threat.
5:29
So it's actually keeping them in separate places or keeping the newborn out of reach is like a very important thing.
5:36
But that's where two to me was our hardest.
5:39
And I see this often.
5:39
And this is what kills me to break my brain is everyone stops at two now.
5:44
It's the hardest one.
5:47
That's the peak.
5:47
Don't stop at two.
5:49
Go for the third one.
5:50
Go for the third one.
5:52
It's going to push you to upgrade the software.
5:53
Is that the message?
5:54
Forces it.
5:55
It forces you into this freedom.
5:57
You have to change the way that you think.
5:59
And honestly, upgrading software in this one is less compelling than it just sets you free as a parent.
6:06
It takes off the shackles and sets you free.
6:08
Like you are no longer chained to this belief that someone has to be watching the kid at every minute.
6:15
And when you unleash yourself, unchain yourself, and guess what?
6:19
The kids chill out because the kids don't feel this nervous system of tension from the parents.
6:24
I love this quote, you know, to show the power of women and the power of mothers.
6:28
You know, mothers set the weather for the home.
6:32
And it's like so real and so deep, right?
6:35
Of these beautiful, powerful.
6:37
Mothers set the weather for the home.
6:40
Yeah.
6:41
Who sets the weather for the mother?
6:43
I'll make it more powerful.
6:44
The husband or the man provides the roof, right?
6:48
Shade, rain, hail, snow, hurricane, they provide the roof, right?
6:54
And that's the grounding energy.
6:56
And I last night, we're having a tough discussion on a topic that's very controversial.
7:01
And it's one that's caused us to not be in alignment or we start getting more emotional.
7:06
And every, you know, 30 seconds, not in a mean way, like, you know, I was improving, but I would just say, hey, will you take a breath?
7:13
I feel like we're getting emotional.
7:14
And we're walking around our neighborhood.
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I'm like, I also don't think our neighbors want to hear us at higher volumes.
7:19
And.
7:20
You know, so I'm like, hey, let's just let's just quiet.
7:22
And at the end of the conversation, she said, I think that went really well.
7:26
And thank you for keeping me grounded.
7:28
This was last night.
7:29
This was at 10 p.m. that we came back.
7:32
So if I can dumb it down, what you are saying is the mother sets the weather for the house for the kids, meaning if the mother is not grounded, stable, then the house is going to be a chaos.
7:45
Perfect.
7:46
All that depends on the man, on the husband, let's say.
7:51
Yeah.
7:52
For those couples that are gays, lesbian, all good.
7:56
We love you too.
7:56
Don't worry.
7:57
But at the end of the day, I'm just going to say what I believe.
8:00
You tell me what you think is...
8:03
there's always masculine and feminine energy, right?
8:05
And the masculine energy is the more grounded energy, which in a male-female relationship, the men usually in a healthy, great male and female relationship, the man is the one that has the more masculine energy.
8:21
The woman is the one that has the most feminine energy.
8:24
In a relationship, same sex, you always also have one person that has more masculine energy than the other one, and the other one has more feminine energy than the other one.
8:33
Right.
8:33
Spot on on everything.
8:34
The one level deeper, if people hear that and are like, nah, that's kind of interesting or I'm agreeing with it.
8:39
You get even deeper when you realize.
8:41
So one thing is, right, are women that have kids for us, right?
8:44
They have so much hormones, right?
8:46
That's the beauty of their bodies and their ability to create the child.
8:48
But the level deeper on everything you just said is the, if you dig into Carl Jung, he basically said everyone has some masculine, some feminine.
8:59
He calls it animus for masculine, anima for feminine.
9:03
And usually, let's use a man first.
9:06
Usually a man is living in his animus, which is his masculine energy, which is get stuff done, do it, decide, you know, all of these things, grounded energy.
9:14
But his shadow self, his dark side is his anima, which is his inner feminine.
9:20
That's emotions, that's feelings, that's all of these artistic, a lot of that creativity.
9:24
Yeah.
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Now, I, if I'm living fully in just the animus, I'm controlled subconsciously by this anima until I shine a light on it.
9:34
And when you shine the light on it, it loses its power over you.
9:37
Does anima have the same meaning in Spanish and in English?
9:41
Anima.
9:42
Anima.
9:43
Like animal.
9:43
Anima.
9:44
Anima.
9:44
What does enema means in English?
9:46
Does it mean anything or not?
9:47
I think you're talking about enema.
9:50
Do you know what enema means in Spanish?
9:52
That's with an E versus A.
9:55
Okay, but it's similar, right?
9:56
It sounds similar, correct.
9:58
It sounds similar.
9:58
Yes.
9:59
Let me just not use his language.
10:00
Where is your fan attitude here?
10:02
Like you just brought all the seriousness.
10:04
What's happening?
10:06
I think it's because I get so excited about this, Carl.
10:08
For me, the Carl Jung stuff changed my life.
10:11
So I get just so excited about it.
10:13
I get very like, it's like the nerd with Legos.
10:16
It's like once I get on it, I tend to be very, very rudimental and very simple.
10:22
Because I'm not that intelligent, so I need to dumb it down.
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And some people that are going to be listening are going to be much more nerdy like you and love the detail and the letters and the whole thing.
10:33
Try to maybe find that middle ground.
10:35
The middle ground is every man, every woman has a little girl and a little boy inside.
10:41
Everyone.
10:41
Yeah.
10:42
Most people let one control their life.
10:45
And this is how they want to present to the world.
10:47
I'm manly or I'm super feminine, right?
10:50
As a man or a woman.
10:51
When you let one, your little girl or your little boy control you, right?
10:55
Or be what you present.
10:57
It's actually the opposite one that really drives you and controls you.
11:01
Because it's in the shadow.
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It's what you're trying to hide, what you're trying to lock away in the closet with double, triple lock, bolt, everything.
11:10
And it's controlling you from that locked away closet.
11:12
It's your shadow self.
11:14
So that was a great explanation.
11:15
Let's just go to something practical.
11:18
I want to be able to root it in some example.
11:22
I'll give you a perfect example.
11:23
So I'm manly, right?
11:26
I'm manly.
11:26
Each time my wife or girlfriend or partner says,
11:30
You didn't take care of me, right?
11:33
She's challenging the little boy, little man in me, right?
11:38
So I can't go into my little girl to say like, oh, this makes me sad.
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You're telling me I'm not a good partner.
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Instead, I'm going, oh, yeah, I'm great.
11:48
I take care of you all the time and I paid for this and I did this.
11:52
It's because I'm not able to access the locked away in keys, little girl side of me, right?
11:59
And I'm not saying we need to all be a wimpy man.
12:01
I'm saying by tapping into it and saying, oh, that makes me feel bad because I just worked so hard all week, 90 hours to put food on the table.
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So instead of being able to unlock, shine a light on this closeted little girl, the emotional energy, feminine energy,
12:17
and just say, oh, wow, I don't feel good.
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I'm controlled because this thing's locked away.
12:22
I show up as this trying to be this masculine energy, but it's not.
12:26
This is what's controlling me.
12:27
It's the same with women in the reverse.
12:30
So let's flip to the other side.
12:31
And by the way, before that, when you say a little man, a little woman, what do you mean, and correct me if I'm wrong, is that inside of us, we have these two energies, masculine and feminine energy, everyone.
12:44
Yeah.
12:45
In different levels.
12:46
But even if you are a manly man, you have a portion of feminine energy.
12:54
And what you are saying is, if you have this image of yourself that you are this manly man, then you do not access that 20%, 30% of feminine energy, which makes you to break very easily because you have no flexibility.
13:10
That's it.
13:11
You nailed it.
13:15
she is a very confident woman, lives in this kind of masculine energy, or is able to get into it and go back and forth.
13:23
She can go back and forth with her masculine feminine energy.
13:25
She dates these bodybuilder dudes, like, Jack, I'm manly, you know, maybe I'm on steroids, maybe not, whatever it is.
13:33
One crazy fact about them, many of them, the majority, were sexually abused, right?
13:38
So they're still a little boy that's just trying to protect themselves.
13:41
Well, they just want to feel.
13:42
Wait, wait, wait.
13:43
Now you went into a different tangent here.
13:45
So you're saying that mostly big dudes that are doing gym all the time and steroids, you said that they were abused?
13:52
Not all.
13:53
Many were physically or sexually abused as kids.
13:56
Interesting.
13:57
So as a trend, you see that that could be exceptions.
14:01
But you think that a majority is like that?
14:03
Yeah.
14:04
Abused physically or sexually?
14:06
Yes.
14:06
Yes.
14:07
Jesus, what would be the split?
14:09
I'm just pushing you to give some data here.
14:10
I don't have the split.
14:11
Intuitively.
14:12
There was some study, it was something like 60 to 70% of people suffered to like severe levels, one of those.
14:20
And the example that, to tie it back in, they're just a little boy that's scared in there, right?
14:25
They're trying to show that they're this big man energy, right?
14:29
So now tying it together, a girl I know dates these kind of guys.
14:32
She's just dated a lot of them.
14:34
And she goes, yeah, you know, man, when I provide a place where I kind of rise in this masculine energy to make them feel safe and comfortable, they just break down.
14:43
They cry.
14:44
Like oftentimes after a physical interaction with her, they cry.
14:48
And then they basically like, we have to get married.
14:51
Because it's the first time they let this little, this feminine energy inside out of the closet, out of a bad term, out of the box.
14:59
They've locked it away in the box.
15:00
Keys, chain, lock it up.
15:02
And when they let it out, that relief creates this like...
15:06
explosion of crying, right?
15:08
And so it's fascinating, right?
15:10
They're controlled by that little feminine energy that's locked away for them.
15:14
And it actually makes them weak, right?
15:16
It makes them, as you said, fragile, right?
15:19
Because you can just poke the button like, oh, you're not very manly.
15:22
Yeah, I am.
15:24
Right.
15:24
Versus what is real strength?
15:26
It's to be like, oh,
15:27
You know, thanks for your opinion.
15:29
Or can you tell me more?
15:30
Like that's strength, right?
15:32
That's a mental strength.
15:33
That's a software strength.
15:34
That's a knowing your feminine, masculine energy.
15:36
And again, not saying, look, this isn't the beta alpha male type stuff.
15:39
I actually think the alpha male is the one that's at peace, right?
15:43
In himself, that's a grounding force for not only his partner, but other situations, right?
15:48
He's not able to be taken off.
15:49
There's not a button where it's like, man, if I just hit that button on Peter with that comment,
15:54
He goes crazy and it ties back to kids.
15:57
Kids find our buttons.
15:58
They can find those masculine feminine weaknesses, those locked away shadow selves in a box.
16:04
So something that I want to share is that I stay in your house, I think that I mentioned last time, 10 days.
16:10
So I got to see your setup.
16:13
And if I give you a little bit more context for people listening.
16:17
We know each other for, what, two, three years, something like that.
16:21
We went to a lot of different places and events and so on.
16:24
And you always pride yourself that you have this incredible setup in your house and that you love being a dad and staying at home with your kids and you have this magnificent life as a dad.
16:39
And I'm thinking, OK, Peter is one of those guys that just exaggerate a lot.
16:44
I mean, that's fine.
16:45
You know, like...
16:47
It happens, you know?
16:49
It happens.
16:50
That's fine.
16:51
And so whatever Peter is saying, I'm just going to shave 30, 40% off, you know, whatever, to bring it more to reality.
16:59
Because I don't know what, I know a lot of parents and I have seen a lot of parents that maybe I don't know, but I just pay attention when I am walking down the streets and when I am in different cities in different countries.
17:09
And I am thinking I've seen a lot of parents and this thing of like, I never shout to my kids.
17:17
I've never seen that.
17:19
It's like you're telling me that you hang out with aliens, right?
17:22
I'm like, okay.
17:24
I've never seen an alien.
17:26
Like, all right.
17:28
So I go to your house.
17:31
And it's just exactly like that.
17:33
And which I find that is a fascinating and incredible skill.
17:37
I have never seen anybody else.
17:40
You're very young, 36 years old or something like that.
17:43
Four kids now with just a newborn that came to the world.
17:47
And the house, as I mentioned before, it's what I would call, maybe there's a better term, but it's like an organized chaos where things work.
17:57
Things work, things flow.
17:59
And I'm just going to connect this back to who is the person that sets the foundation, the weather.
18:07
And it's you are in a very stable place, which allows you to help your wife to be in a very calm and stable place.
18:17
But also because you interact a lot with your kids, your kids can feel and sense that.
18:23
energy.
18:23
And that's why I've seen your kids trying to poke you, failing miserably.
18:30
They just fail.
18:31
They fail.
18:32
And it's incredible to watch.
18:34
One day we should do like a proper masterclass of how to do it.
18:37
And this is why I'm asking you a question, trying to extract.
18:40
And for people that don't know me, they will learn and see that when I ask a question, I will not let it go until I get an answer.
18:47
And if I connect this back to maybe the first question that I asked you, you didn't give
18:52
answer.
18:53
So I'm going to ask you again, right?
18:55
Which is, you are saying, I never shout to my, never shouted to my kids.
18:59
I just don't shout to my kids.
19:00
I'm like, okay, I think that 0.0% of parents could say that.
19:05
Maybe 0.01% could say the same thing.
19:08
So the question is, you have four now and you put a lot of time to develop yourself as a human and also as a husband and as a parent.
19:22
my whole dad's side is all bipolar.
19:25
Like all of them.
19:26
So, you know, I love my dad.
19:28
I love my grandma.
19:29
I love, you know, some of my sisters, my cousins, my aunts and uncles.
19:33
What I grew up in is the opposite, right?
19:36
It's,
19:37
bipolar, you know, so chill.
19:40
I mean, I have a phenomenal dad.
19:41
So chill, 99, 98% of the time, but then like, you don't really know what it was that might trigger it, right?
19:48
I think that's common.
19:49
Same with my grandma.
19:50
Same with, it's just software, right?
19:51
Software and some chemical imbalances and external, internal, genetic, et cetera.
19:57
So I think that was in me.
19:58
That was the programming I kind of used, not necessarily with my first child, but it was just stuff I was reflecting on was...
20:05
Yeah, man, I have this reactivity.
20:07
I just want to rip people's heads off.
20:09
It's what I know.
20:10
And, you know, tapping into that, right, with a lot of different methods and ways helps.
20:15
And I don't look, I don't want to act like anything's perfect or I'm far from perfect.
20:19
My intention is to never yell at them.
20:21
Right.
20:22
Have I yelled at them?
20:23
Like maybe once when I saw, you know, I think of the only time that comes to mind is like I'm watching my son take my daughter's head like towards the edge of this like glass table.
20:35
And it's like, I'm like, no, like I'm just watching it.
20:38
Like, is it going to hit the eye, the skull, whatever?
20:40
So, you know, it's very much reserved to actually allow it to be powerful versus that like small yippy dog that's just always barking away.
20:48
And I think our kids and our wives, I mean, it's a massive surveillance experiment, right?
20:54
They're with us every hour, every minute, every day.
20:57
You cannot hide your weaknesses.
20:59
They know them.
20:59
They see them.
21:00
They test them.
21:01
So you can choose.
21:03
We have a path, right?
21:04
And this is a path I go on every day.
21:06
And when I fail, I go back to the, I get to split the fork on the road.
21:10
I can take note of each of these things and go internally, go to my inner feminine energy of like,
21:15
why did I feel so angry?
21:17
Why did I want to hit the kid?
21:18
Like, why are these emotions there?
21:20
What is that?
21:21
Or I can say it's their fault.
21:24
It's done, right?
21:25
It's easy to wipe my hands and say, it's their fault.
21:28
That's the one path.
21:29
It's hard to flip it and say, this is me.
21:32
This is something I can work on.
21:34
This is something I can understand.
21:35
And, you know, it's always harder to
21:37
initially, but then it compounds and it becomes way easier over time because I've gotten better.
21:42
Now, look, I still react.
21:43
I still have times where I'm frustrated.
21:45
I mean, last night we had, you know, my daughter is wonderful, but is having a lot of emotions right now.
21:51
And, you know, the last, I was gone for a night and I heard about how terrible it was and everything else.
21:56
And there's a different method to take care of one of my kids than the other kids, right?
22:01
One of them is a lion, right?
22:02
But lions need a different way to operate.
22:05
So diffusing that is a different way.
22:07
When I look at me as a first parent, the reason I didn't answer directly is it's just a different kind of stress.
22:12
Like if you're yelling at your newborn, like there's something wrong in here, deeply wrong.
22:17
So it's, I don't really think the yelling comes out until either your single child reaches an older age, like two, three, whatever, or you have multiple kids.
22:26
So it just doesn't really exist in the first child.
22:28
Now, flipping it to like a relationship, was I more reactive with my partner?
22:32
Yes.
22:33
Right.
22:34
Man.
22:35
Was it monthly, weekly arguments, you know, yelling, things like that?
22:40
I am a crazy person.
22:41
I track every single time we get in a fight.
22:44
Every single time.
22:44
I just put on my calendar, fight, and then I give a one sentence description.
22:48
Because I want to see the trend, right?
22:50
And I put it on myself, right?
22:52
You have to have two people in any argument.
22:54
It doesn't work when there's one, right?
22:58
If someone's truly like, if you're fighting with Buddha and they just keep responding, like, tell me more.
23:02
You know, like, like, how are you feeling?
23:04
It's not a fight.
23:06
Like they're not in it.
23:07
So, so owning the half of it that, that is you now.
23:11
And I, and there's plenty of books and recommendations.
23:13
Conscious Loving is an amazing book.
23:15
I send it every time someone I know is getting married.
23:16
I send that.
23:17
I don't buy the gifts, all the stuff on the list.
23:19
I buy Conscious Loving, the book and their first couples therapy session.
23:23
That's my gift.
23:24
anyone I care about when they're getting married, because I think that's what actually gives life to the relationship, allows it to exist.
23:30
We don't learn how to communicate.
23:32
We don't learn what our buttons are.
23:33
We don't learn any of these are.
23:34
So then here's something you'll love, Pablo.
23:36
I was just reading a book about this.
23:37
Every relationship is the exact same.
23:39
I'm Peter.
23:40
I'm dating this hot girl.
23:41
And I'm like, wow.
23:42
Wow.
23:42
She's perfect.
23:43
She's wonderful.
23:44
She's everything.
23:45
That's step one.
23:46
She's thinking the same thing about me.
23:48
Oh, he's wonderful.
23:50
He's perfect.
23:50
And then we live together and we're like, yeah, you know, I'm easy to live with.
23:54
I've always lived with myself and it's easy.
23:55
And at the same time, both of us is like, wait, they're not perfect.
23:59
Like they're, they're the exact opposite of me.
24:01
They're kind of a headache.
24:03
Like I'm, I'm annoyed with this person.
24:05
These occur at the same time, right?
24:07
For both of us, right?
24:08
Both people.
24:09
then you have a fork in the road.
24:10
In the relationship, you can either say, it's all them, it's their fault, they're the problem to live with, right?
24:17
Or you say, these are my issues, I am most of the reason and responsibility, and I want to solve these pain points, right?
24:26
If you choose this way, where you just say it's all them, you come to a truce marriage, where I don't bring up your flaws, you don't bring up my flaws, right?
24:33
We just truce.
24:34
We never go into it.
24:35
If I say it's mine, then I'm willing to discuss anything that I'm doing that's causing problems, issues, whatever.
24:41
And that creates a great relationship.
24:42
And that's with friends, right?
24:44
I mean, Pablo, you've realized with me, like, I'm not a guy that cares if things go perfectly because nothing matters that much in my life.
24:50
So, like, you can be like, man, I love Peter.
24:52
Man, he sucks at the technology stuff or he's five minutes late to a call or he's this or that.
24:56
That's in a relationship, right?
24:57
Even a friendship.
24:58
It's like, oh, he's not perfect, right?
25:00
I'm not perfect.
25:02
Everyone realizes at the same time.
25:03
So then it's, do you commit to saying, I want to try and be the better friend, the better partner, spouse, whatever.
25:08
So that's what I see in marriage with kids.
25:10
That's what I see in having kids.
25:12
They bring up these old traumas, issues, problems, software, and they put them on a platter.
25:17
Now, we can take this platter and eat it.
25:19
and cry about what we're doing and try and fix it and understand it and work through it.
25:23
Or we can just throw it back at the other person and be like, this is your problem.
25:26
And that's our choice as a parent.
25:27
So coming back now to the relationship, that is a great framework because the typical thing that most people do, I think that is because of the lack of education and the lack of proper examples that we have seen in our surroundings, in our families is that.
25:44
Looking inside, right?
25:46
That is the first thing that we should be doing.
25:47
That is the last thing that most people do.
25:50
Looking inside, what did I do?
25:51
Like, what is my piece?
25:53
Why is this thing that is happening having an effect in me?
25:57
What am I feeling?
25:58
Why am I feeling this?
25:59
Where is this coming from, right?
26:01
There is usually no introspective questions, just pointing fingers outside, just pointing it inside, very difficult and many times very painful.
26:10
All that being said, when is the moment to say, you know what, this is not going to work out?
26:16
People have different thoughts on it.
26:17
In my own relationship, talking about that, actually, it's on everyone's mind.
26:22
And it's oftentimes you go in a room, the thing no one will talk about is the most important thing to talk about.
26:26
Right.
26:27
The thing no one wants to or is unwilling to or uncomfortable.
26:30
That's what to talk about.
26:31
And I think in a relationship, just bringing that up, it can be a way to relief, to put it all on the table and people be like, wait, no, I want to commit to that.
26:39
Then it flips and be like, no, this is worth saving.
26:41
This is something I really want to be in.
26:44
And so I think some relationships, it's understanding what that is.
26:48
But usually what it is, it's a polarity, right?
26:50
So I might be plus, you're minus.
26:52
if you're in a relationship with someone like that, they're actually creating balance.
26:56
The problem is I'm finding that balance in you.
26:59
That's why there's polarity of attraction.
27:01
But then the moment we're actually in a relationship, all I want to change you is to what I am.
27:04
I want you to become the plus, not the minus, right?
27:07
I don't want balance.
27:08
I want to just convince you I'm the better one.
27:10
Rather than seeing, oh, I don't have any minus, I don't have that feminine energy.
27:15
I can learn from you and become whole in myself.
27:18
And this is what I've experienced in my own relationship of
27:20
I had to go understand that inner feminine energy and how to get in and out of it without freaking out.
27:26
Where I don't live in it, but I can access it.
27:28
And in my case, my partner, my wife, she went and really discovered her masculine energy through a business that was failing and she improved.
27:38
And she can now step into her masculine.
27:41
And when she needs to, she's able to step in, right?
27:43
So like if we have a nanny or babysitter, that's just not the right fit.
27:47
It's like, hey, we need you to be here.
27:49
It doesn't seem like you're understanding.
27:50
We'd love to help you get another spot or give you friends that might be a better fit.
27:54
She can do these conversations.
27:55
She used to just like wave her hands and be like, can you go solve this?
28:00
No, and I'm like, so all that is great, but you didn't answer the question.
28:03
How was I at the first child?
28:05
No, sorry.
28:07
Is that it?
28:08
You answered that one.
28:09
Okay.
28:11
The question is...
28:12
Going way back.
28:13
Oh, my gosh.
28:16
The question is the following.
28:17
Do you think that everyone is meant for anyone and basically any relationship can work?
28:23
I'm talking about loving relationships that people are going to be together for decades and decades and decades.
28:29
Hopefully until they die when they are very, very old and having tons of kids or at least three.
28:35
That's Peter's philosophy.
28:37
At least have three.
28:38
Yes.
28:39
Do you think that everyone is meant to be with everyone?
28:41
Anyone?
28:41
I think we're all screwed up.
28:43
Every single person.
28:44
So it's choosing the person that you want to work on your screwed up self and their screwed up self.
28:50
Right.
28:50
I hear you, but that doesn't answer the question.
28:53
If the answer is no, right, I'm just going to say, I'm going to answer for you.
28:56
Yeah.
28:57
Yeah.
28:57
It's no.
28:58
I don't believe in absolutes.
29:00
So then the question is, what needs to happen for a person to be like, you know what?
29:04
No, this is, I'm dating this person.
29:07
It's been one month.
29:07
It's been one year.
29:08
It's been three years and it's been 10 years.
29:11
I don't know.
29:11
But you know what?
29:12
We grew apart or whatever it is.
29:15
This is not the right fit.
29:16
I'm not talking about abandoning, right?
29:18
That's, I guess, that
29:19
That's what you are trying to not to go or not to try to send a message.
29:24
Like, yeah, do not abandon.
29:25
Like, do your best, right?
29:27
Do as much as possible.
29:28
Point the finger inside.
29:29
Look inside and so on.
29:31
But I guess that there are points, there are examples, tons, where it's like, you know what?
29:36
We're not the match for each other.
29:37
I'll start with a step before that, right?
29:40
Where I think I...
29:42
failed and still fail just today i was thinking about how i need to communicate better especially for many of us men is we don't have our inner inner feminine figured out so i'm not even communicating what i want and need right so they don't even know that i'm like you know my love language is physical touch right so if i'm not communicating right men men get four times the dopamine hit through the physical interaction right through sex compared to women
30:06
So it's not like they don't understand for some men what it means, right?
30:10
So I might go work my butt off, do everything I can to help them.
30:13
If I don't communicate what I need, which is considered, you know, is more of a feminine energy, like, hey, I need this.
30:18
I want this, right?
30:19
Like, this is how I'm feeling.
30:20
I'm feeling not loved.
30:21
But we don't do that.
30:23
Many men don't.
30:24
That sets up the situation to where I'm like, throw the towel in.
30:27
Now, I, I can speak for myself and others I've seen.
30:31
We wait.
30:31
And it's the same with a job, right?
30:33
We're frustrated by the job.
30:34
We just wait.
30:35
And then we're like, okay, I'm done.
30:36
I quit.
30:37
And you cannot convince me to stay.
30:39
It's actually the same with kids, right?
30:41
It's all the same thing.
30:42
So kids, let me give you a perfect example.
30:43
Hey, Pablo, stop doing that.
30:45
Stop doing that.
30:46
One, two.
30:46
Okay, number 10.
30:47
Pablo, stop doing that.
30:48
Number 16, randomly.
30:50
Pablo, all right, we're not going to the park.
30:52
We're not going to the park.
30:54
Little Pablo's going, why was it 16th time?
30:58
Okay, never do it more than 15, new rule.
31:01
Never more than 15.
31:02
Truly, right?
31:03
Versus, right, communicating clearly and well, hey, Pablo, number one or number two, do you know what you're doing and why that's damaging the floor or causing a huge mess?
31:13
Do you understand it?
31:14
Why are you doing it?
31:15
Can you stop doing that?
31:17
Hey, Pablo, if you, and then if you want to have consequences, right?
31:20
We're going to go sit in the room until you can tell me what went wrong.
31:23
We can leave whenever you want, but you just have to tell me what happened, right?
31:26
These micro consequences when I am still, I like what you said.
31:30
It's almost like the man or the father could be the foundation and the roof, but the heart is the middle, right?
31:35
That's the weather in the middle, right?
31:36
Or the weather above the roof they can set and the heart in the house, right?
31:40
They make a house a home.
31:41
So I think those are really powerful to realize it's your job, it's your child, it's your partnership.
31:47
It's all this communication proactively and clearly and confirming they understand it.
31:52
Because the last thing is what we do is we're like, I need this.
31:55
They don't understand.
31:56
And we don't ask, do you understand?
31:57
Can you explain what that is?
31:59
And when you don't do that, it falls apart.
32:02
Bring it back to their relationship.
32:03
Yeah.
32:04
So in the relationship, I think that the biggest problem is if the man's fully in his masculine, not willing to come to like, look, my love language is physical touch.
32:13
You know, I'm working my butt off.
32:15
I know you're pregnant or just had a baby or blah, blah, blah.
32:18
This is something I need because I feel terrible.
32:21
And I think I'm working my butt off.
32:23
Every time you need water, I get water.
32:24
Every time you need this, I do this.
32:25
If I don't communicate those things, I go do dumb stuff, right?
32:29
That's when, okay, you know, a guy goes, finds another woman.
32:31
A guy goes to pornography, goes these other things that are, and really, I actually think deep down, deep down.
32:37
That's shame because they feel they're not getting what they think they deserve.
32:41
They're shameful.
32:42
So rather than just communicating like, hey, this is what I need.
32:45
Porn's easy, right?
32:46
I can go to porn and no one says no.
32:48
No one pushes me away.
32:49
You know, it's always yes.
32:50
It's exactly what I want, the way I want it.
32:53
like that that's easy right and look and look and i'm not i'm i'm one who spent way too much time in that arena and it's there's no shame there right but if i ask and the biggest fear i think for a lot of i'll just speak for dudes at least a big fear is you say this is what i need and you get no or you say i this is what i need and you get i'm not doing that or you're weird right shame lack of acceptance
33:17
Right.
33:18
And a lot of times it's easy to hate on dudes, right?
33:20
Everybody does it, but it's like, they're the ones asking for the date.
33:23
Usually they're the ones asking to go out.
33:24
They're getting turned down, getting turned down, getting turned down.
33:26
And it's like, that, that, that, that doesn't feel good.
33:29
Right.
33:30
And, and getting scared of that makes us do the wrong thing.
33:34
And then you see the relationship start to break down.
33:35
And, and what I, what I was going to say is I think that's where it actually breaks down.
33:39
That's what leads to, okay, I'm done with him.
33:42
Tried to change him forever.
33:43
Well, did you ever bring it up?
33:44
Right.
33:44
Well, yeah, yeah.
33:46
Did you have a one-on-one conversation?
33:47
Did you confirm they understand your needs?
33:49
Did you explain this is what you need to be in a healthy relationship with them?
33:52
And if that's not happening, then it's not a healthy relationship.
33:55
No, I was living in fear or I was worried or I was worried about being shameful.
33:58
Does that answer the question?
34:00
So let me just give a summary to see if this answers.
34:03
I am pushing you to tell me the following.
34:06
That's what I wanted to hear, which is like, well, no, of course, right?
34:11
You know, we are not meant to be with everyone.
34:14
And we are not going to be a match with everyone.
34:16
And we have all different energies and different wants and desires and traumas and things to work on and so on.
34:23
So, yeah, you need to find the right piece for you.
34:28
You may...
34:30
date and go with and try different pieces until you find the one that works for you.
34:36
That's what I was expecting to hear.
34:39
And what I am hearing now is like all that shit, because all that is a bullshit excuse for you to give up.
34:46
Start doing the work by expressing how you feel at the right time by pointing the finger inwards to understand what are you feeling?
34:56
Why am I feeling this?
34:58
Why did I get triggered?
34:59
Why I'm not saying X, Y, Z, and so on, and so on, and so on.
35:03
Exactly.
35:04
And here's a different way to think of it that's way more image-driven, right?
35:07
You're talking about pieces, right?
35:09
Okay, well, my man or my girl is out there, and I just need to be the piece.
35:13
And when we connect, it's great.
35:14
My half orange.
35:16
That's what we were told, right?
35:17
The half orange is out there.
35:19
I think that sets us up for failure.
35:20
I think that sets us up for frustration.
35:22
And I think, yes, everyone experiences love, you know, and that's everyone's, oh, they're perfect, they're perfect.
35:27
Yeah.
35:28
we all then say, wait, she's not perfect.
35:30
Wait, he's not perfect at the same time.
35:32
And then we have this choice, right?
35:34
Now think about the stones.
35:35
Imagine you're a beautiful diamond or gem, but you're covered in dust and muck and you've been in the mud and all this, right?
35:42
You know,
35:43
The other person we're rubbing in against each other to then show the true brilliance that I think every human has inside.
35:50
Right.
35:51
And who's going to help you show that brilliance?
35:53
The person who's like, you're perfect every day.
35:56
Peter, you're wonderful.
35:58
Or the person who's like, Peter.
35:59
Why are you doing that?
36:01
Peter, you're acting like your dad.
36:02
You're acting like your mom.
36:03
Peter, what's this?
36:05
Is that person helping me or hurting me?
36:07
And how do I react if they're helping or hurting?
36:09
Right?
36:09
Even you, Pablo, I was thinking of two hilarious things.
36:12
One is like, I get a text.
36:14
It's like feedback.
36:15
I want feedback.
36:16
But it's still always hard for us to hear it.
36:19
Right?
36:19
And it's something I love and admire.
36:21
And one of the reasons I force myself to spend maximum amount of time with you is because I've met no other human that's challenged me with feedback more than...
36:28
Are you talking about the feedback that I gave you?
36:30
All the time.
36:30
Not just today.
36:31
Not just today.
36:32
Period.
36:32
All the time.
36:33
And it's what I try and be to others.
36:36
And I haven't had, whether it's the people I surround myself with or they're worried that they're going to hurt my feelings or whatever it is.
36:42
I just don't have people that I know are going to give me.
36:45
And these are always challenging to swallow at some point.
36:49
But if you can put the ego aside, the stress aside, it's like, oh, wow, they're having way more objective views on me.
36:56
I want that.
36:56
And I want a partner that's going to do that.
36:59
Right?
37:00
And we tell ourselves we don't.
37:02
But why did we get attracted to them in the first place?
37:04
Because they have that energy and we don't.
37:06
Okay, I think that brings also to another theory.
37:09
I believe that the initial attraction in many cases, and of course, this is going to depend on the age, right, and where we are hanging out at the moment that the attraction happens.
37:19
But let's say that if we are in our 20s, and we are in the moment of where we are, how do you say,
37:25
showing or displaying our wings to show and to try to attract the other person.
37:31
It's we attract each other because we are in total different energies.
37:36
Like the one person is totally in the masculine.
37:38
The other one is totally in the feminine.
37:39
Bloom, that's where the fire happens.
37:42
That's where the connection happens.
37:43
But.
37:44
That's just the first superficial.
37:46
Then you have way more work to do.
37:50
And then it's like, well, I don't know.
37:51
I'm sure that you heard this like, oh, we had a great sex, but we just kind of talk about anything.
37:55
Yeah, we have great sex, but we are fighting all the time.
37:57
And the way that we get together is by having more sex.
38:00
And it's like, OK, is that sustainable in the next 30 years?
38:04
Maybe, maybe not.
38:05
Right.
38:05
Right.
38:06
Can you work on yourself as she works?
38:09
Maybe.
38:09
I think that for people that are in a personal development journey that if you are putting, and I guess that our audience is going to be most likely very centered and geared into, yeah, I want to know myself.
38:22
I want to learn about myself.
38:23
I want to learn about life.
38:25
I want to be a better version of myself.
38:27
It is challenging.
38:29
I'm not saying that it's impossible, but I understand it is challenging if you are dating with someone that has a fixed mindset, doesn't want to grow, doesn't want to develop themselves.
38:40
And it's because you can only point in one direction, right?
38:44
If you're pointing outwards all the time, you're never pointing.
38:46
So...
38:48
For personal development, you must point inside.
38:50
Not all the time.
38:51
Nobody's perfect, but you get the point.
38:53
And that's where I would say maybe aiming for that kind of filter to understand, is this the right person for me?
39:01
Is this the right partner for this journey that I am?
39:04
Because I'm going in this direction.
39:06
Maybe not perfect here, but it's not that one.
39:10
I do not want to be like my grandmother that is sitting in the couch watching the news 24-7.
39:18
I just don't.
39:19
I have so many thoughts on the topic.
39:21
So George Washington, the...
39:23
founder of the United States.
39:25
He has a really great quote, and he says, I find marriage to be the most interesting thing in life.
39:30
It sets the foundation of a life of misery or fulfillment.
39:35
This is the dude who was warring most his life that said, put the middle finger up to the king of England, who was the most powerful empire in the world, largest navy ever seen.
39:46
ran the whole world, right?
39:47
And he looked and said, marriage, that choice of partner is the most interesting thing in life.
39:51
Like, oof, deep.
39:53
Now, I understand everything you're saying and it's experiences I've personally experienced.
39:59
The interesting thing is everything you said was in the masculine energy.
40:03
It's the change, growth, all of that.
40:05
So why would this huge masculine growth energy
40:09
Be connected to this other feminine energy of, hey, consistency, stay within, be grounded.
40:16
Hey, I am enough.
40:17
I don't need to change today.
40:19
Like, I have enough.
40:20
Oh, right.
40:22
Wait a minute.
40:23
There's this connection there.
40:24
No, but wait a second.
40:25
The person that you just described in the feminine, that is like the most wise thing ever, what you just described.
40:34
That is, you are talking about with Yoda or the Dalai Lama, what you just said.
40:38
That is incredible.
40:39
I think that's an absolute.
40:40
That is the pinnacle for all of us mortals.
40:43
So it's like, dude, that's it.
40:46
That's awesome.
40:47
I think everything, you know, nothing is in, I know you like the quote that,
40:52
Professionals think of probabilities, amateurs think of absolutes.
40:55
For me, I'll just speak on my own journey.
40:57
I was frustrated because I felt that consistency was a sign of not wanting to grow.
41:03
Now I look way more the way you said.
41:05
And I'm like, man, that consistency is so beautiful and incredible.
41:08
That was a breakthrough I had.
41:09
That was a software upgrade.
41:10
And I had to realize, wow, I don't have enough of that personally.
41:14
And now creating that in myself where I could go to like, oh, wow, I don't know.
41:18
I don't need to change every single thing about me.
41:20
I don't need to change every single thing.
41:21
It created a more balanced me, right?
41:24
Then it lifts up that perspective in others where I'm like, wow, that's a cool skill or trait, you know.
41:32
It changed the look.
41:33
And another way also to understand this is, ah, I am getting frustrated because of that, which means usually because I don't have it, because I crave it, because I need it.
41:46
That's why I'm getting, why would I get frustrated with Yoda like I shouldn't, right?
41:51
No.
41:51
You're exactly right.
41:52
You're exactly right.
41:52
I mean, it brings out, it's a mirror.
41:54
And then it's a mirror and I'm like, doesn't look good.
41:56
I'm looking at Peter's mirror.
41:59
It does not have these parts.
42:01
It puts it right in your face.
42:03
What was the topic, the controversial topic that you were discussing yesterday with your wife?
42:08
We were talking about vaccines and, you know, it gets everyone fired up.
42:14
You know, and it's an interesting time because you have this big shift in like, you know, the government is now has a new board of people who are all doctors that all have this background.
42:23
But yeah.
42:23
They're choosing to do additional research that's peer review that has different sides.
42:27
So we're having a discussion of, oh, things are changing right now.
42:31
And she made a comment that's so powerful that says, man, I feel like doing either thing, right?
42:38
You know, and we kind of talk like there's options.
42:40
You just follow the script, right?
42:41
You do all 70 shots, just as they said.
42:43
But you're talking about your newborn because she is now, how old is she?
42:48
She's one month.
42:50
She's one month and something.
42:51
Yeah.
42:52
One month and a half.
42:53
So you haven't vaccinated her yet, right?
42:56
And you are discussing about this.
42:58
It's a very long, intense conversation.
43:02
But in America...
43:04
They give a vaccine day one, right?
43:08
Yes, of course, dude.
43:10
I was very uncomfortable.
43:10
Recurring customers from the get-go.
43:12
Come on, dude.
43:13
This vaccine used to be given when kids were 13, 14 years old.
43:17
And then it was moved up to birth.
43:19
Hep B vaccine was given, I think it was 13 or 14 years old.
43:22
Shut up.
43:23
Yeah.
43:24
For a year.
43:25
When you were born, you were given something or not?
43:27
No, no, no, no.
43:28
And then it changed.
43:29
We can Google the exact change.
43:31
Wow.
43:32
So there's one vaccine.
43:34
They give like vitamin D, which is just like a supplement for eyes or something.
43:40
But there's a shot, right?
43:42
Now, Scandinavia, I think Australia, a bunch of European countries, Japan.
43:48
There's a long list that chooses to delay it anywhere from one month to like one year of age.
43:53
Yeah.
43:53
Now, it's hard to look at exact data, but it says your risk of contracting it if your mother doesn't have the hep B virus is 1 in 10,000.
44:04
So we agreed you're going to give me some deep questions on this, and I'll be fully vulnerable in it.
44:11
We agreed we were not going to give it at birth, right?
44:15
That was not, we did one or two of our kids and it was a fight.
44:19
It was a disagreement.
44:20
Like I was pissed and heated, but she's just having a baby.
44:23
And I'm thinking, wait a minute, is the, her stress going to cause more damage to the breast milk and to the baby than, than the shot?
44:28
I don't know.
44:29
And I, so I, I just, I just relented.
44:32
Right.
44:32
And I said, okay.
44:33
So third baby and fourth baby.
44:35
But wait a second.
44:36
That is powerful because you relented.
44:39
I mean, as you said, as the master says, everything is a trade-off.
44:44
And yes, you may win the battle of the vaccine, of not giving the vaccine, but now all of a sudden she's stressed.
44:50
A crying, angry.
44:51
Yeah, having post-traumatic, postpartum depression, and just because you're being a f***ing ass, right?
44:58
Who knows?
44:58
I try and be less judgmental, right?
45:00
It's like,
45:01
You said there's no solution, only trade-offs.
45:03
She is this big-hearted person.
45:06
She's a rule follower in her nature.
45:08
She's thinking she's protecting the child.
45:10
And she's thinking I'm...
45:12
potentially damaged or we're leaving the child open to being hurt.
45:16
That in her software creates, I'm hurting my child, creates cortisol, stress, anxiety, all these things.
45:22
So long story short, and this is, I did this reflection.
45:26
So we probably have a fighter disagreement once a month when she's around child stuff, maybe once a month without probably once every three months now.
45:35
It used to be daily or weekly.
45:36
Yeah.
45:37
So truly, truly.
45:39
And this is going to make you disappointed in me.
45:42
But so one month in, our baby has an appointment.
45:46
It's the first day she had one day of work that she's going to pop in.
45:50
She's not working for the first month or second or third, but she had one day she's filling in.
45:54
And it was exactly on the day of the baby's one month.
45:57
I go in.
45:58
I was expecting that they wouldn't ask about a vaccine.
46:01
You mean alone you went or what?
46:03
I went alone with our babysitter.
46:04
Because she's working.
46:06
She and I had gotten in big fights before because this doctor, the whole practice says, if you don't follow the CDC schedule of shots, we're kicking you out.
46:15
From where?
46:15
From their whole practice.
46:16
They won't see you.
46:17
You cannot be a patient.
46:18
This is probably the largest practice in the state.
46:20
And it's a really well, well-regarded practice.
46:23
So they try to cancel you, basically.
46:24
They try and cancel you.
46:25
She's a close personal relationship.
46:27
She text messages this doctor, their friends.
46:30
She'll get her in faster.
46:31
She'll answer her questions.
46:32
She's like, that makes me feel safe because I can text this doctor and I have a personal relationship.
46:36
Makes sense.
46:37
Well, so she, when I said, well, let's just switch to a new doctor, you know, then we can set up our own system, whatever it is, whether we want to follow it or not, it gives us more control as parents, right?
46:48
She, you know, got really angry when we talked about that a year or two because it gives her, you know, peace of mind and all this.
46:54
Long story short, I take my baby in.
46:57
I wasn't expecting them to even ask because I thought they, I didn't know that they have the records.
47:02
My mistake.
47:03
And she said, okay, we have to do the vaccine shot.
47:05
And I only blame myself.
47:08
The thought through my mind was, oh my, well, I'll just walk out of here and we'll just be done with this place.
47:14
And then one, I do have some people pleaser in me.
47:17
That's like an old software that I've been ripping out.
47:20
I don't want to make others sad or uncomfortable.
47:22
I think I'm not worthy of love and I feel it's my fault rather than something they can work on.
47:26
I've gone from like 5% there to like 80%, but I allowed them to do the shot.
47:32
I signed the, and look, I'm not against all vaccines by any means, but you look at, we were at 7, 30, 40 years ago, 1986, the vaccine bill passed that made these companies protected from any lawsuits, which they and Army Corps of Engineers are the only two groups you can't sue in the United States.
47:50
I don't understand what's wrong with that.
47:52
I mean, why do you want to sue someone that creates something if it's bad?
47:57
Why would that happen?
47:58
Yeah, they were all going bankrupt because of...
48:01
The cases.
48:01
Now, look, and truly, I'm in a place where I do think vaccines are a net positive for humans, period, right?
48:09
Like data, it's helped humanity.
48:11
I think this age and the idea of going from seven to whatever it is now, 47, without clear, specific thought, right, this gets in the control.
48:20
But long story short, I think to wrap up, I then got in a fight with her after the appointment.
48:25
And I was like, we did this, you know, this thing, and I would have wanted to wait longer than one month.
48:31
Basically, this is your fault.
48:32
Blame, blame, blame.
48:33
I'm being a victim.
48:34
Sorry, I don't understand.
48:35
You did it or you didn't do it?
48:37
We did because I... Oh, but then you were pissed at her or what?
48:40
I was pissed at her because she didn't want to cancel the doctor and go somewhere else and blah, blah, blah.
48:47
But it was my fault because I could have stood my foot down, gotten kicked out of there and said, I'm not willing to allow this happen.
48:54
And I was embarrassed.
48:56
And, you know, in retrospect, and I still am, right, not standing up for my child and feeling that I may have caused harm.
49:02
And she said, look, whether we do it or don't do it, we might be causing harm.
49:07
Right.
49:07
Like and that's where she gets so stressed.
49:10
And she during our talk last night, right, it creates a stress and the shutdown.
49:14
And, you know, this was where all of our kids are like, you know, they're fully vaccinated and stuff.
49:19
We followed these rules and stuff, but we're challenging just the schedule, right?
49:23
Just like, hey, do we need to do it right the day it's born, right?
49:27
We're not, you know, we're not comfortable.
49:29
And there's some data that shows you have lower risk of certain things if you can wait just one month, like much of Western Europe, Japan, these other countries.
49:36
I need to check the exact list.
49:38
But I let it down.
49:39
And me getting mad at her was just me being weak.
49:42
and just me not going into my feminine understanding of, oh, the emotion I'm feeling is embarrassment and shame for not protecting my vulnerable daughter in a moment that I'm supposed to as a father.
49:52
And like, it hurt, like hitting that hurt.
49:54
It hurts to say it right now.
49:56
It's embarrassing and it's hard and it's, but if I can't go into that,
50:00
Then guess what this topic becomes?
50:02
It becomes this topic where it's a button she can't touch.
50:05
But if she knows if she does, I'm gonna blow up because the strong dad can't accept the idea he might have been weak in a moment that he needed to be strong.
50:14
I think that's the balance of I can step into these emotions as feminine energy and flip back to being this calm, relaxed, stable dad because I can go between the two energies.
50:25
I can be the strongest dad I could ever imagine.
50:27
Boom.
50:28
Love it.
50:29
Love it.
50:30
I have no interest in being public to anyone.
50:33
The only reason is that you keep pushing me in a positive way to be like, Peter, people don't have good examples.
50:40
They don't exist.
50:41
They don't.
50:41
Where do you go for them?
50:42
Of like being a dad or a parent.
50:44
Like, people are just going to destroy us all day.
50:47
And like, at the end of the day, I can get over the fear of that.
50:50
What do you mean destroy us?
50:51
Oh, dude, it's just so many people are so angry about their own lives.
50:54
They just want to hate.
50:55
So they just spew hate because there's so much of it.
50:58
Wait a second.
50:59
Are you saying that if someone hates us, it's because they hate themselves?
51:04
Most.
51:04
What?
51:05
Most.
51:06
I can imagine right now like a keyword warrior just stopping there.
51:10
Are they watching me?
51:13
Deleting, you know?
51:14
Deleting.
51:15
Just one letter.
51:17
I mean, it's so true.
51:19
My biggest thing is I love my life, right?
51:21
And when people say that, that's a red alarm of like, this guy's a liar.
51:24
But the way I really say it, that I love to say is, I have all the problems I want.
51:28
I was woken up last night by a five-year-old, a four-year-old, and a two-year-old.
51:33
And a one-year-old, all of them.
51:34
Like, I want those problems.
51:36
Life has this organized chaos.
51:37
I want those problems.
51:39
The problem I don't want is like the public eye of being just eviscerated by them all the time.
51:46
But it's just a trade-off of I want the world to be a better place.
51:50
To be honest, I think that being eviscerated and people just spewing hate on the comments, you don't need to read the comments, right?
51:58
Yeah, that'll be my only, that's the only way I can operate.
52:01
You don't need to read the comments.
52:02
We're going to have an assistant that is going to tell us only the good comments and the constructive feedback, right?
52:09
Constructive feedback.
52:10
Give it up.
52:11
Bring it up.
52:12
Let's go.
52:12
But hate, maybe a couple of funny ones, you know?
52:17
I think those you make a t-shirt of them.
52:19
And I love it.
52:19
Yes.
52:19
I mean, dude, that's like where Joe Rogan, remember when he was getting so much hate about like some comment that he said that was racist?
52:26
It was.
52:27
I think he even said, yeah, that was like a version of me that I'm not proud of or a comment I was proud of.
52:30
Well, but let's just be honest.
52:32
This is the part that it just pisses me off, right?
52:34
Is back in the day, using certain word was okay.
52:38
Now it's not.
52:39
Then you, you cannot bring that back when it was okay.
52:44
And now it's not okay.
52:45
You stop doing that.
52:47
It's true.
52:48
I mean, you're spot on, right?
52:50
It's applying these.
52:52
These magical, I mean, think about, what if you flipped it and thought about medicine?
52:56
What if I were like, you doctor made my dad die because you didn't have cancer treatments in 1915?
53:03
But George Washington had his slaves.
53:06
Can you believe we're the first country ever founded on the principle that every man is created equally?
53:12
There we go.
53:13
First country.
53:14
And then you think about it.
53:15
Martin Luther King never said this is a racist country or all of these things.
53:19
Martin Luther King said, I am owed a debt from the foundation of the Constitution saying every man is equal.
53:27
All he said was, I want to get paid, you know, and have this equality, right?
53:31
That he was able to achieve and that society brought legally in the 1960s.
53:36
It's fascinating.
53:37
Even though I'm not a historian expert or a history expert, but it just doesn't take much.
53:43
Just chachipiti it, just grog it.
53:46
And you will find that there's been slaves since the beginning of history.
53:51
So what are we talking about?
53:53
Every single culture, every single place in the earth, they had slaves.
53:57
Did you know a million Europeans were enslaved?
53:59
Now we are better.
54:00
That's awesome, right?
54:01
Now, but that being said, there are still slaves nowadays somewhere in the planet.
54:05
There are a million slaves in Africa and China.
54:08
Fact, how many of the keyword warriors are a slave?
54:12
They're deleting right now.
54:14
That'll be our sign when we're saying something that somebody's like.
54:20
Our two-year-old, this little dog would jump up and kind of give her a kiss and knock her over.
54:24
And it did it twice.
54:25
She goes, Bebek got me again.
54:28
It's like, Pablo got me again.
54:30
I'm spewing my, he's a bad guy.
54:34
It's like looking around.
54:37
And it's also, it's interesting to think, okay, let me ask you a question.
54:40
What do you think that is the thing that today it's accepted, but in 10, 20, 30 years, we would not be doing that.
54:49
We would not be saying that because it would be literally a canceled, a war that you can get canceled or go to prison or whatever.
54:58
For example, nowadays, if you cannot say certain things in England because you go to jail.
55:02
I know what it is.
55:04
Are you ready for it?
55:06
Yes.
55:06
Dad, I love my robot girlfriend and you can't say that it's wrong.
55:12
You cannot call it a robot.
55:14
She has a name and I love her.
55:16
Do you think that we would get canceled by the woke mob of whatever name it has in 30 years if we call a robot a robot?
55:27
I'm saying it as a joke right now, but I think that's probably true.
55:30
Like things start as a joke.
55:31
Grace.
55:32
Yeah, but think about it.
55:33
They start as a joke.
55:34
I mean, think about even when Elon was saying we're going to go to Mars.
55:38
It sounded like a joke.
55:38
Everybody thought it was a joke.
55:39
And now it's like, oh, yeah, it'll happen in my life.
55:43
So I think fascinating things start as a joke and then they propel, right?
55:46
And that's kind of like pushing the frontier of acceptability.
55:50
Like comedians push the frontier.
55:52
So now we go to the predictions part of the show.
55:54
So I ask a question, you ask a question, okay?
55:58
Okay.
55:58
Question for you.
56:00
In which year we will have the first marriage between a human and a robot?
56:06
Do they consummate the marriage or they're just married?
56:09
Meaning, do they have sex?
56:11
Consummate a marriage, it means... Dude, a thousand percent, they're going to have sex.
56:15
What are you talking about?
56:16
Nowadays, people have sex with robots.
56:18
If you have a, I don't know, what is the name?
56:21
The little thing, yeah.
56:22
The tube that you put the thing inside and moves.
56:24
What is that?
56:25
It's just a robot, right?
56:26
It's not an AI robot.
56:28
It's not thinking and processing information and acting different, but it's a robot.
56:34
What is the fridge?
56:35
The fridge is a robot.
56:36
What is the washing machine?
56:37
It's a robot.
56:38
What is the dishwasher?
56:40
It's a robot.
56:41
I think the frightening thing is if you actually take it from joke to real and think about it,
56:45
What about when, you know, men are less compelled to get married?
56:50
Because they're like, well, the robot does everything that was, you know, a, you know, my girlfriend used to do.
56:56
That's the scary side of the joke, right?
56:58
I want a f***ing date.
57:00
All right.
57:01
Give me a date.
57:02
The Inquisition continues.
57:04
Pablo's Inquisition.
57:05
That's what I'm always going to refer to with questions.
57:08
I think you'll see robots hitting the market early, what, somewhere in 2027.
57:13
So 2027, you're having really 2028, like the average guy can get them 2028 by 2030.
57:20
I think they're married within a year, like sub a year of.
57:23
So I'm just throwing out guesses.
57:25
I'm thinking like 2030 to 2031.
57:28
But it's really, I'm thinking 12 months post an average American being able to buy a
57:34
No, sorry, the top 20, 30% of wealthy Americans being able to buy a robot.
57:38
Someone's like, you know, this is my wife.
57:40
Here's the part where it gets tricky because you may be able to buy a robot and the robot is not functioning on AI, therefore it's not thinking, it's not processing information.
57:52
It's based on my assumption that the kind of average person, top 30% of the country could have a robot 12 months before that.
58:00
Yeah, but that's the challenge, right?
58:02
And then you're talking about robots.
58:03
It's the same Tesla Optimus or you're talking about the Chinese bullshit?
58:07
There's two different questions is what I'm saying.
58:09
One question is, when do you think people have access to a robot?
58:12
Right.
58:13
A second question is, when someone gets access to a robot.
58:16
You're making the part of the show just chaotic here.
58:19
This is like simple, right?
58:22
So I ask a question.
58:23
Do you want to ask me a question?
58:24
Ask me a question.
58:25
You have to answer your own question first.
58:27
What year we are?
58:28
2025?
58:29
Yeah.
58:30
I am.
58:31
I'm not going to.
58:32
If you didn't answer that, I would say 2031.
58:35
I would say 2032.
58:35
Because I don't want to copy your answer.
58:38
I'm usually early.
58:39
So you're smart.
58:40
No, I think we have no idea about how AI is going to play out.
58:44
But yeah.
58:45
Yeah, it's going to be interesting.
58:47
Your question now.
58:48
All right.
58:48
How many kids will Pablo have?
58:50
I have a number.
58:51
What's your number?
58:52
My guess?
58:53
Four.
58:54
Four.
58:54
Yes.
58:55
The same answer.
58:57
Oh.
58:57
I have another one.
58:58
How many kids will Peter have?
59:01
Before hitting 40 years old.
59:03
Right now you're 36.
59:04
So you have four more years to go.
59:06
I'm 37.
59:06
37.
59:07
Oh, sorry, 37.
59:08
So you have three more years to go.
59:09
Yeah, two and a half.
59:11
Okay, sorry, sorry.
59:12
Let me just go one more.
59:13
So before you are 45.
59:16
I think it's the same 40 or 45.
59:18
How many kids will Peter have before he turns 45 years old and now you're 37?
59:22
I really don't know.
59:23
But I'm going to go with 4.5.
59:26
Four kids and a robot?
59:27
Yeah, four kids and a robot.
59:28
You know, I'm a probabilities guy.
59:30
I'd say 70% chance four, 30% chance five.
59:34
So I'll say four.
59:35
So difficult.
59:36
I'll mix it up, just make this more fun.
59:38
I'll say five.
59:39
Okay, there we go.
59:40
I agree with you.
59:41
I think that it's going to be five.
59:42
I think that you still have one more in the tank.
59:44
One more pull already.
59:46
Yes.
59:46
Another question, another question.
59:48
This is a yes or no question, so I don't want any f***ing bull**** mathematical probabilities and nonsense, okay?
59:54
Will Peter ever get a vasectomy?
59:57
The answer is, man, that's a really hard question.
1:00:01
That's a really hard question.
1:00:03
You know, my deep, dark questions that I ask myself and I don't have answers to.
1:00:08
And you bring them to the light, you shine light on them.
1:00:10
Okay, let me change the question to see if I make it easier.
1:00:12
Yeah.
1:00:13
Can I change the question to see if I make it easier?
1:00:15
Let me just think how to phrase it properly.
1:00:18
If all things are equal and Peter get to decide the destiny and get to control where the sperms go, should he ever get a vasectomy?
1:00:31
No, definitely not.
1:00:32
The only reason I would is because of the request of my wife, my partner.
1:00:37
It's the only reason I would.
1:00:38
Have you ever read the Bhagavad Gita?
1:00:40
It's so funny you say this.
1:00:41
I'm listening to the Bible right now, and I want to do that next.
1:00:44
Okay, I got you covered.
1:00:45
Don't worry.
1:00:46
The version that, to me, I like the most, which is one of the most famous persons in the world that lived by the Vagabat Gita and that basically said, I just always have the Vagabat Gita with me.
1:01:01
And every time that I'm in a crossroad, every time that something is going on, I just open the Vagabat Gita, any random page, and I get an answer.
1:01:09
I get the exact answer that I needed.
1:01:11
That is Mahatma Gandhi.
1:01:13
So...
1:01:13
What I want to say is the book that is going your way is the version that is commented by Mahatma Gandhi.
1:01:21
And the reason is because similar with the Bible, right?
1:01:24
You can read the Bible.
1:01:25
If you are reading the Bible literally, you're going to read the Bible.
1:01:28
you're missing so much stuff.
1:01:31
It's all these incredible books, all these incredible books that nobody knows where they are coming from, basically.
1:01:38
And I mean, we cannot agree what happened two years ago.
1:01:41
And you are going to tell me that we're going to agree what happened 2000 years ago.
1:01:45
But do you see what you just did there?
1:01:47
It's a beautiful example.
1:01:47
It's a flip.
1:01:49
Can we agree what happened two years ago?
1:01:50
I didn't do it like that.
1:01:52
This is a beautiful example of you doing a really good comparison.
1:01:55
That is a slight difference to be like, what do you think?
1:01:58
But in this case, we are not debating.
1:01:59
We're just talking, right?
1:02:01
But I would argue we're always selling our point.
1:02:05
True.
1:02:05
You and I agree on most things.
1:02:07
And look, I say this as a compliment to you, Pablo.
1:02:11
I didn't vote for Donald Trump the first time.
1:02:13
I was worried he would not give up and he'd want to be the president for life.
1:02:18
Uh-oh.
1:02:18
That software you changed in me.
1:02:22
And it's it's software you changing me and watching.
1:02:25
Wait a second.
1:02:25
Are you saying that this is a mega Trump podcast now?
1:02:30
Wait a second.
1:02:30
We need to say something quickly, because if not, people will go crazy.
1:02:36
I don't vote.
1:02:37
I cannot vote.
1:02:38
I'm not American.
1:02:39
I don't vote.
1:02:40
I have nothing to do with this.
1:02:42
See, and I think that's a beautiful thing for you to say, I don't vote.
1:02:44
And like this is something common ground for me.
1:02:46
I start with.
1:02:48
I cannot vote.
1:02:50
If I was American and I could vote, some people say that, no, I'm kidding.
1:02:55
really effective.
1:02:55
What I mean to say that is I'm coming at two different ways.
1:02:59
One is I'm saying, if you just detach the concern of the outcome, I think your success will go through the roof because I think we feel it.
1:03:07
We know if someone needs to get it across to this line and it actually creates resistance in the other person, just wanting to think that they won or caring about the outcome.
1:03:16
Like think of Buddha and Gandhi and Mahatma Gandhi and all these people.
1:03:20
They didn't care whether or not people, they were going to be a light and an example, regardless of the outcome of that person watching them.
1:03:27
And that pure grounded energy is like bees and honey.
1:03:31
But when I'm pushing anything, like even let's use a perfect example, me pushing an assistant on you.
1:03:36
I wanted you to get an assistant because I'm smart and I know, and I truly knew how much it would change your life.
1:03:42
Does it make you want one more?
1:03:44
No, it puts up resistance in your mind because you're like, this won't stop pushing.
1:03:48
Right?
1:03:48
Right.
1:03:48
Where if I said like, Pablo, I love you.
1:03:50
It's changed my life.
1:03:51
And I'd love it for you.
1:03:52
If you were open to that, you're going to be like, oh, okay.
1:03:55
But you can feel I just, I'm at peace with the outcome.
1:03:58
And the confusion is people think like, oh, that means I don't care.
1:04:01
I don't care about the outcome.
1:04:03
No, no, no.
1:04:04
You are doing an action because you want to go in this direction, but just forget about that.
1:04:09
Another way of saying it, and this is just my translation, is just enjoy the process.
1:04:14
Enjoy the journey instead of always thinking about the outcome.
1:04:18
So mic drop.
1:04:19
Anyhow, I got to go.
1:04:20
I'll send you the link.
1:04:20
Love you.
1:04:20
Bye.
1:04:21
See you.
1:04:22
Love you, brother.