Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #643 Dollars & Sense

Transcript

#643 Dollars & Sense · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: time poor parent who just answers.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: Now, the purpose of pocket money is so that you
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: can learn about money. The purpose of jobs, duties, chores,
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: whatever you want to call them around the house is
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: so that you can contribute, because.
• 0:22
  Speaker 3: You're not about responsibility.
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you're making the best.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: And now here's the stars of our show, My mum
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: and dad.
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: Do you have any idea how strong our eight year
• 0:30
  Speaker 3: old is.
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: I'm not sure where you're going with it. No, yes,
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: I mean I think so. She tries to push me
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: off the bed when we're playing.
• 0:39
  Speaker 3: You know how, sometimes you'll use a teaspoon or a
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: tablespoon to scoop out some ice cream. Yes, and inevitably
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: if the ice cream is so hard that it actually
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: bends the spoon. Yeah, well, we have one spoon in
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: our cutlery drawl that is bent like that, and I
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: assumed that it was because of the ice cream. Thankfully,
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: it's one of the cheap ones. It's just one that
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: I have brought from k Mart. So when the kids
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: take yogurt to school or whatever, they've got a teaspoon
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: to take with them. They don't take our good ones.
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: So the other day Emily comes in and she's like, mom, Dad,
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: look how strong I am. And she literally in front
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: of us a bench, this teaspoon all the way over
• 1:20
  Speaker 3: as you're screaming at her, no, no, no, don't do that.
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: Well I wasn't screaming, but I was saying no, no, no,
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: don't what are you doing?
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: And she looked at us with pure delight, and she said,
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: don't worry.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: It goes back.
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: But what she doesn't realize it goes back with a
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: kind of little wonky bend in it now, doesn't it.
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: We've got the wonkiest, wonkiest teaspoons in our draw. And
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: that's why, because Emily is having fun demonstrating her strength.
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: I thought you were talking about strength as in how
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: strong willed she is. Have you noticed. So we've got
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: six kids. Obviously, one's moved out and other one's about
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: to move out. A third one has graduated high school.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: But nevertheless we have six kids. All of them wake
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: themselves up in the morning, they get themselves, they make
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: their breakfast, they make their lunch, they do it all.
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: Except just in the last few days, I've noticed every
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: single morning you and I are literally together trying to
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: get the eight year old through the morning. So I
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: was standing there trying to brush her hair and carry
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: her into you at the same time that you were
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: trying to put her socks on and get her skirt
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: on because she was still running around her rundies, because
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: she'd been playing with lego and reading a book and
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: coloring in and painting and doing anything and everything she
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: could to not go to school.
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: There is just zero motivation to go to school.
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: She's happy enough to be there once she's there, but oh,
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: my goodness, And I just thought to myself, are we
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: doing it wrong? But getting cranky doesn't make any difference.
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: We just have to I'm playing these games with her
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: in the morning, try to get her ready for school.
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: I'm thinking, my goodness, can't you just be like your
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: big sisters? And then I remember we kind of went
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: through variations of this with all of the kids at
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: a round about this age. I mean, it's just being
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: a parent. It's taxing. So it's so taxing.
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: Well, what are we talking about today?
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: Oh, there's so many things. I feel like I just
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: want to waffle. I just want to talk to you
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: about stuff. I want to talk to you about my.
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: This is the podcast for the time Pool parents. I
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: think that I need to move you along.
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: I want to talk about the book title for my
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: new book that's coming out. I want to anyway, That's fine,
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: We'll do that another day. Any suggestions, writes Luke. Every
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: Tuesday we ask you to send us your questions and
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: via podcasts at happy Families dot com dot you. Luke
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: has been in touch and said any suggestions on how
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: to undo my three years of Barefoot investor jars and
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: jobs method. My kids are pretty rigid in doing only
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: the jobs they're paid for. I read a book that
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: you recommended called Punished by Rewards by Alfie Cohne, and
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: I knew straight away what we were doing was not
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: going to work with pocket money. It's tough now getting
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: my kids to help out without the money method from Barefoot.
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: Any suggestions would be great, Thanks, Luke. So Kylie. I mean,
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: I love what's Scott Paper's done for the financial literacy
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: of the nation, including our family, and I really like
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: a lot of what he talks about. But one thing
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: that I've said multiple times on the podcast is the
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: getting paid for jobs thing is problematic for me. I'm
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: still trying to get him on the podcast. I want
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: to talk to him about this and talk to him
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: about his brand new book. So I'm working on getting
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: him on the podcast. But that doesn't mean I'm going
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: to agree with everything that he says. And this is
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: one of those things, and Luke has pinpointed it, we've
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: been doing barefoot. We're paying the kids for jobs. We
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: don't actually want to do it anymore because they're super
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: rigid in only doing the jobs they're being paid to do.
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: So what do we do because we want them to
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: actually help out a little bit more.
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: So, like you said, a huge amount of what Scott
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: shares in his book is so beneficial for our kids,
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: super helpful. You know, they learn about budgeting.
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: Yep.
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: For kids who just get everything handed on a silver platter,
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: it's really hard for them to recognize and understand the
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: value of money. So his approach of helping them to
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: kind of separate their earnings into digestible easy compartments.
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: Free jar spending, saving, giving, it's great.
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it helps them to understand, you know, budgeting. It
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: allows them to have a sense of delayed gratification, that
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: idea of saving for something, recognizing that just because they
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: want it doesn't mean that they can have it. And
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: then understanding how long it actually takes to say that
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: the money to get that thing that they're looking forward to.
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: And so that ties in with this psychological thing that
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: we call frustration tolerance. When you have a high level
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: of frustration tolerance, it means that you get that it's
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: going to be hard for a while, but if you
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: can push through a hard stuff, it will be worth it.
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: Even just that goal orientation, you know, understand it, like
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: setting a goal and working towards it. I think it's brilliant.
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: And then there's also the capacity for responsibility. You know,
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: this idea that if you want something that you need
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: to work for it, and therefore you have a responsibility
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: to fill a requirement.
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: And what I also like about Scott's idea is if
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: you're going to get paid for the jobs. There's one
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: job or there's two jobs, and every Sunday we sit
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: down and we just say did you do it or not?
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: And you get paid or you don't. I kind of
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: like it. It's straightforward and it's done. But my argument
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: is that your kids can learn all of those things
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: without tying pocket money to chores. Your kids can learn
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: about delayed gratification and saving and budgeting and giving to others,
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: and they can learn about being responsible without having pocket
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: money and chores tied together. So if I was to
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: look at it from a psychological perspective rather than a
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: purely financial perspective, what I would argue is that number one,
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: as Lucas said in his email, when you pay the
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: kids to do a certain chore, it undermines motivation. I
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: love the way Alfie Cohne says it in his book
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: Punished by Rewards. He uses the phrase when we use
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: any of these sort of extrinsic or external rewards or
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: punishments to manipulate behavior. What we're saying is do this
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: and you'll get that. And you can have a sugarcoat
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: version of that, that's the pocket money and chores version
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: to this, and you get that, or you can have
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: the mean, nasty, punitive version. If you do this, you
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: will get that. But it's the same sentence, it's the
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: same words, and what it does is it removes the
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: focus on this that is cleaning up your bedroom or
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: being nice to your sister or whatever, and puts the
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: it for some that the punishment or the reward, and
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: it therefore elevates the punishment and reward and diminishes the This.
• 7:28
  Speaker 3: When I think about the conversations that we've had with Alphie,
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: that's the thing that actually stands out to me. He says.
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: You know, if you want to reward a child for reading,
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: what you actually do is diminish the value of reading.
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you're saying five dollars is more important, or the
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: pizza is more important that you're going to get than
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: the book itself that you're reading.
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: It actually really blows my mind that when you put
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: it like that and you recognize this is an amazing
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: thing that you get to do, you get to read,
• 7:54
  Speaker 3: and yet by attaching a value to it, you undermine
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: the very thing that you want to do. And so
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: it's the same with this principle of we are a
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: part of a family and we want to be able
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: to work together and achieve the outcomes as a whole.
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: And yet what you're doing by attaching a price tag
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: to it is saying that the money is actually the motivation,
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: that the money is that the important thing, and there's
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: a value system that we're trying to create, because that's
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: what it is, right it's a value system.
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: Beautiful, Yeah, exactly.
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: It's actually not that important.
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: So research also tells us, although it's perhaps a little
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: less obvious with something like chores and pocket money, but
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: when we're doing it, do this and get that approach,
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: When we're using the external motivators like pocket money, it
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: reduces creativity. So the kids are less likely to be
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: creative in terms of the way that they contribute in
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: the house or their motivation for it. But it also
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: ignores reasons and it ruptures relationships. They're the big ticket
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: items that our fa cone talks about all the time.
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: And there's also the simple reality that rewards are ultimately
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: a punishment. When I say do this and you'll get that.
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: Clean up your room and I'll give you five bucks.
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: If I walk in and I'm not happy with the room,
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: then I say, sorry, you're not getting the five dollars. Yeah,
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: and all of a sudden, the child feels like a victim.
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: It makes them well, especially when the.
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: Child feels like they're given their very best as well.
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: Right, it might be justified. They might have done allows
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: your job, they could have been lazy, they might have
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: had a whole lot of attitude, but you've promised a
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: reward and now the rewards not being delivered, And regardless
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: of the context in which it's not being delivered, the
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: child still feels like they're hard done by. So it
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: undermines the relationship. They become less motivated, they feel like
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: they're alwyes being controlled, and it's a less effective way
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: to get the kids to contribute around the home. And
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: a lot of people when they hear this conversation, they'll say, oh, yeah, yeah,
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: but real life, like you have to go to work
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: to get paid. That's the way the world works. And
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: I would counter that by saying that when I come
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: home Kylie from work, you don't pay me to help
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: out with the kids, or clean up the kitchen, or
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: tidy up my mess or put my wife.
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: It's just a job, right, Well.
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: But I don't get paid for that. I do it
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: because I'm motivated. I'm motivated to have a good relationship
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: with you. I'm motivated to have a clean house. I'm
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: motivated to make a contribution because I know it matters.
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: I'm motivated because I want the children to see that
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: a husband and father makes a contribution.
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: I guess in a bigger sense, you know, if I'm
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: out and about and I see somebody fall down, I'm
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: not an ambo.
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: It's not my job, right, Okay, yeah, yeah, what are
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: you going to give me if I help you?
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: But I do that because that's kindness.
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: How often are you out and you see someone fall down?
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: I'm just curious that's Have you ever seen that happen?
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: Or was that just a sort of a random thing.
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: It was just a rand thing.
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: I was wondering if people are just falling down around
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: But I know they' shot plenty of times.
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: And because I'm a tall person, there'll be older people
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: who often can't reach the top shelf.
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah gotcha, I don't work there.
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: Why would I get it for them? I mean it's
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: that mentality, right. And if we teach our kids that
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: the only way for them to move forward and do
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: something in their life is if they're going to get
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: paid for it, then we've.
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: Got a lot of people to go anywhere.
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: They've got blinders on.
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: Do you know what you've heard me say this? The kids,
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: work out what industry you want to work in, and
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: go and work for free for someone. Get the experience,
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: learn what it's like, don't worry about getting paid. Just
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: go and prove to them that you're interested and keen.
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: You become so much more valuable as a result. Do
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: it for free because you're intrinsically motivated. Anyway, we're kind
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: of getting off the topic, So what do we do
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: to help Luke who's now got a child, who's basically saying,
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: what are you going to give me? What do I
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: get for me?
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: As I listened to Luke's story, I'd be going back
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: to grassroots. I'd be calling a big family meeting, probably
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: a pajama party with lots of sugar.
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: I was going to say out the popcorn on the
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: treats or the milkshakes, and.
• 11:49
  Speaker 3: Talk about the pros and cons, what's going well in
• 11:51
  Speaker 3: our family right now, what's not and how can we improve?
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: How do we want our family to be? What does
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: it like when our family is functioning at its best,
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: what does it feel like? And how often do we
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: get to feel like that we're not doing very well
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: at the moment? Why aren't we And let's kind of
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: brainstorm on why that is and how we can be better.
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: So I'm inclined to get really directed in a meeting
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: like this as well and say, since we've been paying
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: you for jobs. And it's been three years now. You've
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: gotten reasonably good at doing these jobs. But whenever we
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: ask you to do anything else, we have tantrums. So
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: here's what we're thinking. We think we need to come
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: up with a new way to build contribution and willingness
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: to help in our home. What do you reckon? Where
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: do we go from here? So bring the kids in,
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: get their input. The other thing I said this before,
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: but I want to go back to it. That is
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: that all of those things that the barefoot approach teachers,
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: what was it like kids learning about budgeting and saving
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: and giving and delayed gratification, responsibility, all those things. You
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: can teach your children financial literacy without them having to
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: work to get pocket money at home. So in our home,
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: and so all of our kids except our youngest to
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: have jobs. So we're only paying pocket money to the
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: two youngest kids now, and therefore it's a much simpler
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: process than it used to be. But with all of
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: our children, as we've given them pocket money, we've still
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: had three jars, and we've still let them know that
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: the purpose of pocket money is so that you can
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: learn about money. The purpose of jobs, duties chores whatever
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: you want to call them around the house is so
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: that you can contribute, because you're not about responsibility. Yeah, yeah,
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: you're making the mess. But we keep them. We've always
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: kept them separate. When our kids have gone off to
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: work at fifteen or fourteen or sixteen or whatever it's been,
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: none of them have had a hard time adjusting to
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: life in the real world. And they still don't come
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: home and say, oh, yeah, but I shouldn't have to
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: do this because I've got a job now. Like, they're
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: still willing to contribute and help out around the home.
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: And yeah they still do with winging, whining, sooking, annoying
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: noises every now and again.
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: But you and I still win wine our jobs. Right,
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: It's just part of life, you know. I was thinking about.
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: Luke hasn't shared number one, how old the kids are,
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: But a couple of thoughts have just come as we're talking.
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: The first thing, I think it can be really powerful
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: at this point to actually sit the kids down in
• 14:09
  Speaker 3: this meeting and tell them that you've got it wrong.
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: You've actually got it wrong. You've read a book you
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: thought it was amazing, and there are so many positive
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: things that have come at it, but you're looking at
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: it now and recognizing that it's actually it's not a
• 14:22
  Speaker 3: right fit for our family. I think that's really powerful.
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: But then the second thing is if you've got younger kids,
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: it could be really hard to kind of share some
• 14:29
  Speaker 3: of these concepts with them, these values that you want
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: to instill. And a fun way that you could do it,
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: I think would be whatever your favorite recipe is. Let's
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: just say it's chocolate cake for threes and everybody is
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: a different ingredient. If we want to work together as
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: a team, what happens if there's no eggs in our cake?
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: How does that work?
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: I'm just trying to pull together what So you're saying
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: I should go in the kitchen and bake a cake,
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: but leave one of the recipe items out of the
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: cake and see how it turns out, taste it, yeah,
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: and then talk. So that's that's a great So we
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: should do that this weekend. That's amazing.
• 15:12
  Speaker 3: So I'm mum, right, I've got to be the flower.
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 15:14
  Speaker 3: And if I'm the only one doing it, do you
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: really want to have a bowl of flour for dinner?
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: Right? No? Okay no?
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: But when we all work together and when you think
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: about a recipe, there might be one teaspoon of something,
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: and yet there's two cups of another thing. Is that
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: not what family life is like. Mum does the majority
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: of the effort, but everybody has a part to play.
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: You try and make a recipe that's supposed to have
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: bicarb soda in it, which is usually half a teaspoon
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: to a tea spoon, and don't put it in and
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: see what that does to your recipe. Every single person
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: plays an important role in the functioning of any anything,
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: whether it be a team you.
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: Know, small in some ways right, or a household.
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: Or a job. We all play a part and it's
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: such a powerful way to kind of just pull it
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: all together and show kids what it means to be
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: a part of a team.
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: I love that. I was going to wrap up the
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: podcast and then you've come out with an absolute cracker.
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: That's just fantastic. So I had a couple of other
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: ideas really quickly, and we need to wrap this up now.
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: But in the meeting you might talk about the kids.
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: Talk to the kids about putting together a hybrid system.
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: So we've done this in our home where the kids
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: have jobs, duties, chores. It just has to be done.
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: But if they want extra cash, there are a couple
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: of jobs that they can do for a bonus ten
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: bucks or a bonus twenty bucks if you want tonest jobs.
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: These jobs aren't the jobs that actually are required on
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: a weekly buses have the house function. These are extras.
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: So I'm owe the lawn. But if one of the
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: kids wants to mow the lawn for an extra ten
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: to twenty bucks because they're going out and they want
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: some money, I'm pretty happy to give them twenty bucks
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: so I don't have to go out and get dusty
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: and dirty.
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: I take the car down to the car wash, but
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: if they want to earn five or ten dollar there,
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: then by all meats, I wash my car.
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: I just want to highlight that you say you take
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: the car down to the car wash, but I reckon
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: it's been about seven months.
• 17:07
  Speaker 3: Well you usually take the car to the car wash,
• 17:10
  Speaker 3: and you haven't done it for seven months.
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: All the money that I would have spent at the
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: car wash, I'm now spending on filling up the tank.
• 17:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: Anyway, So Luke, we hope that that's been really helpful.
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: The Happy Families podcast is produced by Justin Ruland for
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: Bridge Media. Craig Bruce is our executive producer and if
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: you'd like more and foul about making your family happier,
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: please visit us at Happy families dot com dot you OH.
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: A quick reminder as well, it's Black Friday this week.
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: If you have not already subscribed to the Happy Family's
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: newsletter or followed us on Facebook, please do it now
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: because we are about to unleash the annual Black Friday
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: specials and if you want to make your family happier,
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: this is the place to do it. They are unbelievable,
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: never to be repeated. I think this is the best
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: Black Friday sale we've ever put together, So please visit
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: us at doctor Justin Coulson's Happy Families on Facebook or
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: subscribe at Happy families dot com dot a
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: S