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Teen Athlete Mental Performance: Building Confidence Through Mindset Coaching · Building the Best You

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: My kids as well are in preseason tryouts this week and I can feel the nerves coming off of these kids like just emanating.
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: But like I say to them every time they ask for advice, you just have to be in it like anything in life.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: You know, of course, the more you think about it, the more the nerves build, the more fear builds.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: As long as you're in the action, it just all dissipates.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: You just do your best and you're in the action.
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: it just all dissipates.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: You just do your best and you're off to the races.
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: Welcome to the House of Germar podcast, where wellness starts within.
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: The House of Germar is a lifestyle brand empowering women to live all in through interior design and personal wellness.
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: We are a destination for women ready to reimagine what is possible in their homes and lives and then create it.
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: We are honored to have you join us on our mission to empower 1 million women to live all in.
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: I am your host, jean Collins, and I invite you to become inspired by this week's guest.
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: Welcome to the House of Jermar podcast, where wellness starts within.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: I'm your host, jean Collins, and today's guest.
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: I am so honored to have Lindsay Potter here.
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: She is a personal friend.
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: This is her second time on the show and she has just gone through such an incredible transformation journey since she was on the show over a year ago and I am so excited to have her back.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: So this folks is going to feel a little like having a cup of tea with two friends.
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: So welcome, lindsay, back to the show.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: Cheers.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: It's so great to be back and I can't believe it was a year ago.
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: It was over a year ago you were like episode five, and I think this will be episode 61.
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: Oh, I'm so proud of you.
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: Thank you, yes, and we haven't talked in a while.
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: So this is going to feel a little like catch up folks.
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: But Lindsay is so cool and she does something cozy, Get cozy folks.
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: And she has a podcast.
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: She's relaunching a podcast.
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: So much to talk about.
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: But just so you know a little bit about who Lindsay is, I'll put her whole bio in the show notes, but just to give you an idea of what makes Lindsay so unique and I am so excited to talk about how she got into this.
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: So she is a mindset and mental performance coach for teen athletes and it is back to school time.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: This is her peak season.
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: This is when everyone should run and reach out to Lindsay, Thank you.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: It's so great.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: It really is.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: My kids as well are in preseason tryouts this week and I can feel the nerves coming off of these kids just emanating.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: But like I say to them every time they ask for advice, you just have to be in it, like anything in life, you know, of course, the more you think about it, the more you the nerves build, the more fear builds.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: As long as you're in the action, it just all dissipates.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: You just do your best and you're off to the races, which is so true.
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: All right.
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: So, people who haven't seen you on episode five I want to say five or six let's step backwards a little bit, because this was not always your calling and even since you were a guest last time, your evolution to finding your niche and your true amazing purpose has been incredible.
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: So let's take a step back, give us a little bit of background about your career and how you just even got into the mindset coaching space in the first place.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: Okay, great question.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: And yes, so much has changed in the past year.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: So I am.
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: I was, by trade, a marketer.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: I was in marketing for about 10 years, most of my 30s.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: Now I'm in my late 40s, but my career in marketing I kind of fell backwards into it.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: I was very privileged to be head of marketing for a number of beverage startups.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: So I was in the beverage space consumer packaged goods and had a lot of success, worked with amazing teams, incredible people and very well-known brands.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: And then, right before COVID hit, I was laid off from a director role at a big company and it was a blessing in disguise.
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: At first I was like, what am I going to do?
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: Where am I going to go?
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: But my kids were getting older.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: I really wanted to be home.
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: When they got home I had always wanted my own business and working in the entrepreneurial space for entrepreneurs, I learned so much of what it takes.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: Little did I know being the entrepreneur, the business owner takes a lot more than what I saw as an employee.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: But I knew that I wanted three things back right before COVID.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: So that was the end of 2019.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: I wanted to be home when the kids got home.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: I wanted to have my own business and I wanted it to be profitable so to be able to work from anywhere and profitability.
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: So to be able to work from anywhere and profitability.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: And I started just doing what I could to make money back then with the.
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: I still do consult with people on their social media there are so many of us that do it but I do love social media as a tool for marketing you and I both.
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: So I was doing that for a while and I had a business doing it.
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: I was making good money, but it just was like a round peg square hole.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: I always use that analogy.
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: Just something wasn't fitting.
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: And then I hired a high performance coach.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: So this was about three and a half years ago and I thought that's what I needed.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: I thought I'm a high performer, I need a high performance business coach, and what I learned pretty quickly was that I needed to do some work on me to get clear on.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: We talk about inner wellness and I know your show is a lot about that, but I didn't really know what that meant and I really didn't spend any time with just my own thoughts, which is wild, looking back because of where I've come in the past three years.
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so I started doing the work, the proverbial work.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: I started meditating.
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: My coach helped me get to a place where I realized like my life is in my control, but I have to choose it.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: And so I started choosing me and doing what felt really good, like using my skillset from all of my past experiences.
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: I was in marketing, but before that I had been in television production.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: I mean, I had had a lot of jobs.
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: I ran a store for Lululemon when they were just coming onto the scene.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: Like I need to write a book eventually about all of the life experiences in my career that I've had, because it is very colorful.
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: But it all led me to here because ultimately, what I learned is that I've always been an athlete.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: I was a big lacrosse player in high school and college.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: I was good at the sport because I loved it, and I've coached for the past 25 years.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: I've always coached young teams and so I started by getting certified to be a life coach Long story long here and I loved helping adults through pivots in their career.
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: I had a number of adult clients.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: They were looking to change careers in midlife.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: I had done it, so I was trained in helping them in life coaching.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: And still that square peg round hole situation.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: I wasn't marketing myself.
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: Something didn't feel right and then I stepped out onto the lacrosse field to coach kids.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: This is now two years ago and I just knew I need to focus on working with kids.
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: This is where my heart is, this is what I know I'm good at.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: And so I went and got certified to be more of a mindset coach, focusing on mental performance, and I've been coaching kids ever since.
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: So that's how I got here today.
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: Long story, I still coach lacrosse.
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: I love it.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: It lights me up and it gives me the opportunity to be on the ground floor with the kids, listening to where the pressure is coming from, what types of anxiety do they have?
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: You know, what are they bringing from school to the athletic field and vice versa.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: So it's just been an incredible journey and I'm just getting started.
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: Like really, I feel like this is year one which is so exciting, which is so good.
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: Thanks for listening, no, which I totally love, because the other cool thing that I think about your story that I think is really interesting when I first met you, you were life coaching adults, yeah, and you kept saying like I'm just kind of like I love this, but there's something off, right, so square peg round, like it just was a little bit off.
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: And when I heard you say to me I figured it out.
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: And when you said it to me it was like the biggest light bulb.
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: I was like, yes, because personally, what you do, I would want to shoot myself.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: You'd be so good at it.
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: Not for me, Teenagers not for me.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: It's just not for me.
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: The mindset mental performance.
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: I get that, but I'm not an athlete also, so I can't relate, so it's not for me.
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: So your experience, you can relate to these kids and they can relate to you.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I'm raising my own teenagers but, like all parents, say to me oh, my kid just doesn't listen to me.
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: I'm saying all the things that you're saying.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: I said well, that's because they're your child, yes, and of course they're not going to listen to you in the way that they're going to listen to me because, first of all, I am trained to help them in this way, but also you're their parent and it's just a very different dynamic.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: We know, as parents, that they just don't listen to us sometimes like we want them to.
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so talk to me about how do you deal with the fear of making yet another let's air quote it pivot in your career.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: That's a great question, because I was giving myself some coaching this morning and one of the questions that I know that you will ask me and I'm sorry to throw it back at you but about inner wellness, and I think that the biggest piece for me is trusting myself, and over the past two years it really started with meditation for me personally Some people struggle with meditation.
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: I always thought I can't do it, I can't sit still with my own thoughts, and it was really challenging for me in the beginning, but a friend of mine had given me the biggest gift of learning transcendental meditation.
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: So I went to Katona and for four days out of one week I sat with this amazing woman and learned how to meditate.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: I literally had to learn how to sit still with my own thoughts, which was a lot harder than I thought it would be, but by the end of four days I was so in love with the process of just sitting in silence because there was so much that came up and talk about fear.
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: It's like you're afraid and then you sit with your own thoughts and you know what's best for you.
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: Yes, and so the way that I deal with it is through meditation and then movement, and I have a pretty solid practice.
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: Every morning, I sit, I have a yoga mat in my living room.
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: I don't have a ton of space to work out in my house, but I have a yoga mat in the living room you don't need that much space and I just wake up, I go downstairs, I have a glass of water, I sit down and I usually use an app.
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: These days I was doing Transcendental Meditation, which is 20 minutes, twice a day for quite some time, which really got me on the train of okay, I know how to do this and I can tap into that meditative space at anywhere, anytime, which is what she taught me how to do.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: So it's not about sitting on a cushion, sitting like this, and you know what people I think envision meditation to be.
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: It's just being with yourself and learning to trust yourself and listen to what you know you need to do or not do.
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: And so for me, the fear.
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: Even this morning, I sat down and I was like okay, I'm, you know it's.
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: I've taken some time off this summer to be with my family and recharge, which I desperately needed, because when I am in the work it's a lot of energy output.
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: You know I'm working with kids and and I care deeply about their mental performance, but also just the way that they feel about themselves, and so it's a lot of energy output.
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: So this summer I took a lot of time to you know, to drink in all the good energy and be with my family, which always restores me.
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: But now I'm going back into work mode, which can be scary, and I respect I mean listen, I worked at an office for too many years and I respect everyone that has to do that every single day and doesn't have a choice.
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: But I made the choice to do the scary thing and have my own business.
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: So the meditation every morning, and then I do some movement.
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: So, whether it's like even down to just some downward dog yoga movement, whatever works for you, that's what works for me Get my body moving and set myself up for success for the day.
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: And then you and I have talked about this, but I journal.
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: I have a five minute journal, me too, and I just do a favorite, my favorite it's I should have it right here to show everyone, but it's called literally the five minute journal and it gives you prompts, and I'm a fan of prompts because some days I just get you know.
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: You know when you just blank, I don't know what to write.
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: So the prompts really help and I write three things I'm grateful for.
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: So I practice gratitude every morning.
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: That's a part of my morning routine.
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: And what would make today great?
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: And so that is setting myself up for that's what I do, to set myself up for success.
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: I know you do too, like what would make today great?
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: Really think about it, because time can just slip.
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: But if you plan it and if you think about, hey, what would make this day, this time that I have, we only have today.
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: Yesterday's done, yep, tomorrow hasn't happened yet.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: We get to create that.
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: So what would make today great?
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: And then I love to recap at the end of the night.
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: I was doing mine last night.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: Like you know, yesterday was great.
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: I got to spend time with my daughter and her friends.
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: They're all in preseason, so I love the energy of where they are right now, because I'm not a teenage athlete anymore.
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: I was but it was a very long time ago, so I'm learning from them just as much as they're learning from me, and so that's how I deal with the fear which comes up every single day, every day, and it's just a matter of telling myself you know, don't let it take over, right, let it walk beside you.
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: What I love what you said about fear, which I think is so important and I try to talk to my clients about fear all the time is that the goal is not to remove fear.
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: Fear exists.
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: Let's just acknowledge it and be honest.
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: I always say any entrepreneur that says they don't have any degree of fear is absolutely lying to you.
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: There is fear.
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: I feel like the key with fear is to make it so.
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: Fear is walking beside you.
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: It's not like pushing you, You're not running away from it.
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: It's kind of right there beside you, because fear can be a motivator.
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: Especially as an entrepreneur and as an athlete, fear can be a motivator, I would think, to kind of step up and stretch yourself outside your comfort zone.
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, I agree with you wholeheartedly.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: Fear is always there.
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: I like the analogy of having it walk beside you.
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: And as an athlete, of course, fear can be disguised as nerves, it can be disguised as so many things, but at the core of it, we all experience fear.
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: We're human, you know.
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: But if you see fear as I love the acronym face everything and rise.
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I've always, I've always loved that and I think I have it on the board behind me somewhere.
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: But, as opposed to, I'm scared and so I'm going to go into my shell and just hide from the world, which is easier to do in the short term.
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: In the long term and, trust me, I've experienced it the first two years of not having a full-time job and starting this business and not really knowing where I was going, I was scared, scared, and instead of being in action, I hid from the world and and it was the work I look back like and, granted, it was COVID, so it was easier to hide back then no one was really going anywhere.
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: But I'm not that person.
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: I never have been.
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: I am a very extroverted I've.
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: I get fueled by other people's energy.
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: This right now, this will fuel me for the rest of the day just connecting with you, because I do work for myself and I do work alone, and that is a big change from what I did my entire life career from when I was 21 and left college to today or to five years ago Not being around people.
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: All day is different.
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: It's an adjustment and people don't talk about it enough, because you do need to find if you're a people person like me and if you thrive on others' energy and being in a space where everyone's creating together which I always was to create on your own self-doubt creeps in.
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: You need to have things to do.
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: I love to go and work at our library, our local library here in Greenwich, and just to be around other people's energy helps fuel me.
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: I don't even need to be on a creative team with you.
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: I feel your creative energy from over here Sounds weird, but it's just true and I've had healers tell me that too.
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: You just need to be in the space of other people's energy, because if I'm alone, I'll sometimes I mean, I've done the work for myself, so I'm better at knowing okay, I need to get out of my house, I need to get out from behind this desk and be with people.
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: Just go work at a coffee shop or whatever it takes to be back in the energy of other people.
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: Well, and you said something that's really important.
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: It's about recognizing for you what helps you perform the best, which I'm pretty sure you translate to your clients as teen athletes oh, 100% Right.
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: So I have a question how do you take the skills that have helped you with your inner wellness journey and teach some of those to teenagers?
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: That's a great question.
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: Slowly, slowly and I really like to start with the kid to see if they've done any of the work for themselves.
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: Most of them have not, which I don't expect them to.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: They're young.
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: I would have given my left leg to have some of the tools that I have now as an athlete in college, especially In high school.
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: In my mind and in this world now, where the kids are in high school which is why I chose to work with teenage athletes specifically is really where we were when I was playing in college 25 years ago.
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: The pressure is so much more than it ever was.
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: Getting into college is so much harder, you know, because you have a kid that's been to college.
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: Into college is so much harder, you know, because you have a kid that's been to college.
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: Just, they have a lot more that is weighing on them, and so that's why I feel so deeply about working with teenage athletes because I want them to feel, you know, really secure in themselves as an athlete and as a person stepping into this next phase of life, which is college, which is where they'll eventually go.
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: So I start off by asking them if they've done any breath work, any meditation, any visualization, anything that is more focused on their mental performance.
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: And then I share some videos with some of my clients about professional athletes that use these tools all the time.
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: Tennis players share a lot about the mental performance work that they do because it's such an individual sport and it's really at that point in the game you know 80% mental.
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: Everyone's at the same place.
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: Physically it's all about what separates the good from the great and the champions from the non-champions is how they manage their mental state.
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: Like, if you make a mistake out there, what happens?
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: Does it destroy you, yes, or do you know how to flip that switch and get back to being your best self?
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: It's hard, very hard, but it's completely possible.
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: It just takes practice, like any other habit, like meditation.
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: For me it was hard in the beginning but with practice it's become just.
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: It's not even a question, I just can do it, and that's how I feel about this mental performance for kids.
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: So that's kind of how I approach it, slowly and with care, and I put a lot of love into it because I really do love what I do.
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: Yes, do the kids have homework that you give them?
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: Yes and no?
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: I mean it's a choice I give them.
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: It depends on the client and what sport they're playing and where they are in their sport, what year they are in high school.
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: But I do personalize visualizations with some of my kids, with most of them, and I do give them breathing techniques and it's up to them.
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: So you know if they want to do, if they do the work again, just like anything.
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: It's like school.
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: Hey, if you study for the test, you're going to do really well on the test.
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: It's pretty cut and dry.
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: If you practice the breathing that I'm teaching you very simple things.
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: To start, you know I have to start with the basics.
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: Box breathing is something that I teach first.
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: It's a very basic, easy tool.
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: It's four seconds in.
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: You hold for four seconds, you exhale for four seconds, you hold for four seconds like a box and I have them practice that every single day until we meet the next week.
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: If they practice it, then they will get better.
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: If they don't, then it's.
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: You know, it's on them, which most of these kids I mean.
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: I haven't had one client that hasn't done the work for themselves because they know how it makes them feel and it's a pretty immediate thing.
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: I mean, if you do box breathing for a week.
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: You start to think about your breathing when you're out performing.
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: You know, when you're out there on the field or the court or the ice, you start to think about your breath because you've been practicing it.
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: So where does confidence play in this?
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: Now, I've never been an athlete, it's not my thing.
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: No, I like I would have been terrible, terrible.
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: I played volleyball in junior high school because they let anyone on the team and I was absolutely terrible.
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: I only did it for one year.
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: I was terrible.
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: Were you ever a dancer?
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: I danced for a little while when I was young, but then stopped.
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: So, unlike my daughter, who is totally so coordinated and so good that is not my thing, I love watching her.
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: That is not my thing.
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: I love watching her.
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: That is not my thing, but I feel like confidence is probably something that teenagers really struggle with because they're trying to figure out who they are in their universe as it is, as it stands, whereas adults we struggle with confidence and we already have all this history.
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: So where does confidence play in the whole mindset part of an athlete as a teenager?
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: Another great question.
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: I you know, confidence in high school.
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: It's such a challenging thing because, to your point, it's the hardest time in life, I believe, as, looking back on my teenage self, looking at pictures, I have my 30th high school reunion coming up, so I've been looking at all of these old pictures like God, how did we get through that?
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: But we didn't have social media.
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: And so that with the addition of social media in our culture, it's just added this layer, this thick layer that can really make or break a kid's confidence in themselves and self-acceptance and self-love and all those things, because there's constant comparison.
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: You're not just comparing yourself to your peers, but you're comparing yourself to peers all over the world, and you know thinking that you need to.
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: You know, use collagen as a 14-year-old to look beautiful when their skin is perfect already as it is.
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: You know, back in the day we were like scrubbing apricot, like you know, using aluminum foil with oil to get sun, and now we know all that's bad for us, but we didn't have this tool that they have, which, when used for good, can be wonderful social media but when used in the way that they use it and they communicate with it, which is great, but again, the comparison syndrome can be heightened.
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: So confidence is something that's built and I think we're all born confident, but then the world kind of tries to shrink us.
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: And so by doing all of the work that I do with these kids and teaching them the tools to use while they're practicing but also, you know, it doesn't just go for sport, it translates to everything that they're doing you have a big test to take.
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: You're going to use the breathwork, you're going to use the visualization and you're not going to go and visualize having everything be perfect.
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's a good point.
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: You have to visualize the reality of how life is.
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: So you know we get on a podcast.
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: I did some visualization this morning because I just have done this before.
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: I'm comfortable with it.
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: I know you, I'm comfortable with you, but you have to expect that some things like your microphone not working or your light going out in the middle of recording it's real life.
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: But then how do you work through those little bumps in the road?
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: How do you fix them and that's all.
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: Again back to building the habits that increase your confidence.
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: So if you know that you feel good about yourself when you're running faster just to use a random example as an athlete then you know that if you work on your running, it's going to build your confidence.
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: So I work with them on focusing on what they can control yes, and focusing on what they're really good at.
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: Because a lot of kids will say and adults too, I'm just not good at that, I'm not good at it.
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: Well, you don't know unless you try.
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: And if you've tried and you know to your point, I was never an athlete, you didn't say I wasn't good at it, you just said I never was, and I respect that.
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: If you were to say, oh, I was just the worst at everything, but I didn't try.
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: Then of course you have no confidence because you didn't try.
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: But confidence also is built with effort and trying and knowing what works and what doesn't.
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: So I just think it's built over time and it's built through habits and practicing said habits.
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: Which is a really important lesson, though, because you're teaching them really young that confidence is not a I have it or I don't have it.
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: You're teaching them that it's a skill and something that they can expand on and grow and become if they don't feel like they're confident.
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: So I think that's such an important point.
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: You're making it so different than just either I have talent or I don't have talent, like getting them to move away from the black and white world and recognize that everything can be worked on and improved if they want to.
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: And also that you know you might not be the best at your sport.
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: You might not, but all that you have to be is your best.
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: Because if you are your best then you're contributing to the greater good.
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: But if you're just sitting back and say I'm just not the best, therefore there's no spot for me, or I'm never going to make it Like okay, where do you really see yourself going?
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: And if that's your goal, then let's get you there.
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: And if we figure out that it's impossible to get you there like maybe you won't be the best tennis player in the world.
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: I was talking about this yesterday with friends with the Olympics and someone said you know, I find it so funny when Olympians someone would say oh well, I only got third place.
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: You got third place out of how many Billions of people?
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: that made it to the Olympics in your sport.
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: That is something to be celebrated.
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: If you wanted first place, I get it.
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: You're sad you didn't get first place, but you got third place out of billions of people that could have otherwise been there but didn't do the work to get there, you know.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: Yes, so, and confidence is everything.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: People have always speculated that, oh, you're so out, you're so extroverted, you're so confident.
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: You've always been confident.
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: I am a confident person by nature, but I don't just like wake up feeling confident every single day.
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: I have to do things that that make me feel confident, like when I'm in the work.
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: Of the work that I'm doing, it makes me feel good because I'm making an impact on other people's lives.
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: That gives me confidence.
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: When I see a kid actually transforming themselves with my guidance, that gives me the confidence to know I am just going to keep going because this is making a difference.
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: As an adult, yes, it does, and we're going to come back to confidence because we're going to talk about your podcast in a minute.
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: But I want to talk about something else.
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: Do you help kids, and I'm just personally curious Do you make them go through visualization that relates to the?
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: I don't want to call them failures, but the situations that don't turn out the way they want?
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: no-transcript when they make the team and then suddenly they get benched.
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: This has happened a number of times.
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: So they make the team and they're so excited and their parents are excited, everyone's excited for them.
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: And this is where ego comes into play, because we all have it, but when it gets bruised a little bit it can be hard to recover from unless you have the tools and what's to recover.
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: So I've had this happen a number of times this year where a kid that I've worked with has made a team and then been very excited about playing and starting and you know, being a part of this bigger thing, and then benched.
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: No explanation, yeah, no communication from the coach.
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: Painful, painful, and I understand that pain.
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: I really do.
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: I lived it.
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: I mean I was benched.
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: I was the captain, co-captain my senior year of my lacrosse team, benched in a state final game that we were losing, and I can viscerally remember how that felt for me as like one of the top scoring players on the team.
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: Why are you benching me?
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: No communication from the coach.
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: She just that was her choice.
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: She probably didn't like me back then and I definitely resented her for that, but it was hard.
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: It was really hard and I could have easily gone into the mindset of you know what?
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: I'm just not good at this anymore.
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: My coach isn't playing me.
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: I'm not good.
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: Maybe I shouldn't play in college which I've also seen happen a number of times, which breaks my heart in half, because it is a choice to play in college.
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: But if you get in and you're recruited to play and you have that opportunity, I always encourage kids to please take that opportunity because it's a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: I'm so grateful for the experience I had in college.
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: I had an amazing coach.
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: A lot of the reason why I do the work that I do now is because of that senior year experience and how that felt and I didn't have the tools.
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: My poor parents were like oh, what do we do?
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: But yes, it happens a lot and again it's back to just weekly habit building and reminding them of their great.
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: What are you great at?
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: And it's not all about patting everyone on the back.
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: Great, you know you get a trophy.
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: It's not about that.
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: Like, you are going to be benched, you are going to lose some games, it is going to hurt.
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: That's a part of life.
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: Yes, life is not about winning all the time.
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: And if someone says that to you, you can't believe them because it's not true.
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: But when you do win, you celebrate those wins and you remember what that feels like, like I do, from my college days.
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: We won a lot, we played hard, we were supported.
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: It was hard, you know we had to practice hard and I did not like those practices, but I knew that if I would practice hard that I would play well in the games and you know.
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: Just to circle back to your question, getting the kids to remember every week like OK, here's where you are today and it's not the end of the world, but let's work on what we can control that you and I have been working on, you know, for the last five plus years, because we have similar paths of leaving corporate America and becoming entrepreneurs, and I'm like this is just this is just life skill stuff, and so so much of what you can teach these young adults they can carry in, whether they stay being an athlete or not.
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: Your gift and your uniqueness is that you can connect with them as an athlete and in that space that's why I chose this niche.
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: You know, as a marketer by trade, I also.
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: It was challenging for me to like.
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: Initially I was like, oh, I just want to help all athletes.
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: But I had my coach was like no, no, no, we're going to focus and hone in on where you can really make the most impact, and that happened to be with high school athletes.
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: But you know who knows where I'm going to go from here.
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: I was listening to a podcast.
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: I'm a big podcast listener.
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: I love your podcast.
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: I listen to it.
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: I listen to a number of different podcasts, but I was listening to one about just about living in alignment with your career and who you are as a person, and I talked about creating a vision, which every year, like this is.
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: This is a little mini vision board I did for 2025.
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: I've had a word of the year every year.
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: This year is consistency and because it's something that has always challenged me, but I know that when I'm consistent with my morning routines, with you know, being good to myself and choosing healthy choices, all the things that that I'm the better version of me and and also that it was about creating a vision and and suspending the how.
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: So for me, I've I get stuck sometimes in how am I going to do that?
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: How am I going to create that?
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: But what she said was when you have a vision that you don't know how you're going to get there, but you have to have that big, crazy vision in order to live into it.
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: But if you have a plan, then you're going to execute on it.
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: But that's a plan, it's not a vision.
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: With a plan, you know how you're going to get there.
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: There are steps.
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: You follow steps, but with a vision, suspend the how.
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: And I really took that lesson and I'm running with it.
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: I wrote it in my journal this morning Don't worry about how I'm going to get there.
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: Who knows where this is going to go.
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: Just focused on today and my next client kid that I work with and alleviating some of the stress that these parents are feeling, which you know.
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: The child, the student athlete, is my client, but the parent, you know they're the first people that I work with I have.
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: I really care about meeting them, getting to know them, having them know me a little bit, and then they trust that their kids are going to manage our relationship.
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: But it's important to me for them to know what.
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: I'm here to help their kids with.
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: Because most parents don't come to me when I use the analogy of the like a spigot that's trickling water.
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: Yes, they don't usually come when it's trickling.
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: They usually come when, like, it's a fire hose that's trickling water.
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: Yes, they don't usually come when it's trickling.
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: They usually come when it's a fire hose that's open.
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: Of course Right, yes, a fire hydrant on the side of the road Like help?
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: Yes, we don't know what to do.
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: They're depressed and they want to quit their sport, but they're the best in our town.
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: Help.
• 35:53
  Speaker 2: Which is a rough place as a parent and a rough place as a kid.
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: So it's the hardest as a parent.
• 35:58
  Speaker 2: How do your clients find you?
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: Most have found me either on social media, on Instagram mostly, I'm doing my best to keep up with TikTok, but it's just too fast, it's a lot.
• 36:09
  Speaker 2: You have to post.
• 36:10
  Speaker 2: All the time I was on something that said you have to post three times a day.
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: No, that is so much content, that's crazy.
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: It's too much content, even once a day is so hard to do.
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: Well and content as an entrepreneur is.
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: It's like such a push-pull for me.
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: A lot of people have found me via Instagram, Okay, and most have found me word of mouth.
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: So you know, in our neck of the woods in Fairfield County, Connecticut, a lot of kids are playing very high level sport and parents are on the sidelines.
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: I am one of those parents for some sports my kids play and I also just am a people person.
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: So I have a lot of friends who are very supportive of me and the work that I'm doing, and so word of mouth, but Instagram has been a great driver of business for me and I'm doing my best to keep up with the said content.
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: But you're doing a really good job and your content.
• 37:02
  Speaker 2: I will tell you just for people I know, you personally struggled with some of your content in the beginning and you struggled with being comfortable because it is no matter how confident you are and how good you are at your job, for very often for entrepreneurs it's really hard to put your face out there on social media and to have to watch yourself and listen to yourself.
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: And even if you're on a podcast, it's kind of not about you, it's about somebody else, it's not about me but then it's it really is about people getting to know me and trust.
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: It's.
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: It's building trust.
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: And so when I put the ego in the backseat, it's not about me Like I don't.
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: Really I did my best.
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: This summer we have a camp in the Adirondacks that's off the grid, and so I'm mostly when I'm with my family, not on electronics, which is both very challenging for me, especially the first few days, but it's so liberating and what I can do is create content, which I did create a lot of content, because the phone doesn't have anything incoming so I can just record, yes, and it freed me up so much to really share it from a very authentic place and that's you know I'm.
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: I'm a pretty authentic person.
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: I like I am who I am, like you, what you see is what you get kind of thing person.
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: I like I am who I am, like you, what you see is what you get, kind of thing.
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: So promoting myself was very hard in the beginning because I've always promoted other people.
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: You know, as a marketer, promoting other people and other brands was easy for me and fun, yes, it is.
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: But promoting myself and selling my services was very challenging and I know it's very challenging for so many people.
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: I had a friend ask me this morning can you help me with my social media strategy, because I don't like promoting for myself.
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: I said I get it and she's an artist and most artists also are very challenged by listen.
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: I just want to do my art.
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: I'm like, yes, but in order to do your art, you need to sell some art so that you can buy more supplies and it's, you know, it's a cycle, just like in order to keep learning, which I'm very committed to continuing my education in this space.
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: There's so much to learn sports, psychology, mindset, and I mean I just am starting another course in October.
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: I really do love continued education in space and I know you do too.
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: You want to get better.
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: I want to get better, I want to be of more service to these kids, and the only way to do that is to learn more and practice.
• 39:22
  Speaker 2: Obviously You're setting a good example to the kids that school is not just right here, right now, and so you know a lot of times it's you know, okay, they're in high school and then they're in college, and then they have to get a job and it's like no, no, no.
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: Life is about continually learning, continually working on yourself.
• 39:42
  Speaker 2: Continue to improve, and if you can instill that in these young athletes about the need to still keep learning and get better and improving, just as a human being, that's a gift.
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: It's, it really is.
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: I agree wholeheartedly.
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: And sometimes I look at my kids I'm like you're so lucky to be on such a rigorous schedule and what I would give to be back in school.
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: And then they look at me like what, are you crazy?
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: It's so hard and it is, but we did it.
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: I went through school, I went through college and I've done a lot of continuing education in my life, in my career, for marketing especially.
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: I went into marketing not knowing anything really about marketing.
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: I knew I was a good salesperson.
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: I had run businesses in the past, so it was.
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: You know, we were like putting the wheels on the plane as it was taking off, kind of thing.
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: When it comes to entrepreneurship and building businesses, which is how I feel every day now, every day, every day is a learning journey, every single day.
• 40:35
  Speaker 2: So let me ask you about your kids.
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: How old are your kids?
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: is learning journey Every single day.
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: So let me ask you about your kids.
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: How old are your kids?
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: My daughter Lily is 14 and a half and my son Owen is 13.
• 40:44
  Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, so rising ninth grade which is crazy and rising seventh grade high schooler.
• 40:51
  Speaker 2: That's crazy, it just goes really fast.
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: Do you coach them on mindset and, if so, how does that go down?
• 40:54
  Speaker 2: Because you're a mom, I do.
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: I do, but I'm not pushy about it.
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: I do my best to not be pushy about it because I respect their memories, but I also respect that they don't want to hear it from me all the time.
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: But I will give you an example.
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: We took the kids.
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: We were so lucky to go on an amazing vacation with my family, my entire family, my parents, my sister, brother, their families and my husband and I peeled off, for we were out in Utah for a week and we peeled off to Arizona, take the kids to the Grand Canyon.
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: My husband's a teacher and his dad was a professor of geology his whole career.
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: So my husband spent a lot of time in the Grand Canyon.
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: I had never been.
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: Our kids had never been out West.
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: So it was a really special time for us.
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: And let me tell you, for anyone that's hiked the Grand Canyon you know I was first of all, you're just, your stomach is on the ground.
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: It's so overwhelmingly beautiful.
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: Have you been?
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: Yes, I have.
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: Okay, it's just a very spiritual experience.
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: It's like wow, we are so tiny and this is a huge hole in the earth.
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: Like wow, we are so tiny and this is a huge hole in the earth.
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: But we got up at 4.30 in the morning.
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: We hiked the canyon from 5 am to noon and there were fires all across the North Rim, so we could only hike the South Rim.
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: There was only one trail open, but we were able to go all the way down to the bottom and all the way back up, and I was giving them a little bit of coaching.
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: I was the one that struggled the most, I'll be honest.
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: Yes, eat humble pie.
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: I struggled the most.
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: The three of them were like can we just meet you at the top?
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: I mean, I was huffing and puffing and I was also carrying a lot of the water and Gatorade, of course, snacks.
• 42:33
  Speaker 2: Of course.
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: The mom stuff, the mom stuff.
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: But I did say to them at one point it's all switchbacks coming up, so you're hiking sheer.
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: It's very steep and you're going back and forth, and back and forth and it's very easy to look at the top and think we're never going to make it.
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: This is so hard.
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: Yes, there's no way we're going to make it back.
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: And how did we get?
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: Why did we go all the way down here?
• 42:57
  Speaker 2: Why are we doing this?
• 42:57
  Speaker 2: Why did we keep walking?
• 42:59
  Speaker 2: Why did we turn around and go?
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: back.
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: This hurts.
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: And then I said to them at one point you know, don't look at the end goal, just look at the corner in front of us and think about each and every step that you're taking.
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: Sing a song in your head, do whatever you need to do to get you from here to the next spot of shade.
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: We use shade as like little short-term goals, because the sun gets very hot and once the sun was up, you know, it's like over a hundred degrees in the summer, gets very hot, but those pockets of shade are everything.
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: So we would say, I would say to them let's just focus on getting to the next pocket of shade.
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: And I maybe said it once or twice, I didn't, even though they'll say oh, mom, kept saying there's only a mile left.
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: There's only a mile left, which I really thought there was when we still had around two miles left.
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: So I said only a mile.
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: And they were like stop lying to us.
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: But I genuinely thought that.
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: So it really made me happy because at one point my daughter turned around and my kids are in great shape and I am too.
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: It was just I was struggling that day.
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: But she turned around and said to me Mom, I'm using your mindset trick and they really work.
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, Proud mama moment.
• 44:11
  Speaker 2: It was a really proud moment.
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: And then I said to them okay, you guys can go ahead without me, I'll meet you at the top.
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: I met some really nice people who were also struggling.
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: I didn't train enough and this was in my I was mindset, coaching myself the entire way up, yes, and I was telling myself you can do this, you can do hard things, just one step at a time, like everything that I use to coach kids.
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: And then some I was coaching myself because it was the biggest physical challenge I've had in a really long time.
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: And I will say and I haven't said this out loud before but being a former athlete and now doing the work that I do, which is such a privilege to do, but I miss being an athlete so badly.
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: And like my body doesn't.
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: It can't do what it did back then, obviously Right.
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: And I have a small injury right now which in my knee, which really doesn't add to the challenge of hiking or anything that.
• 45:09
  Speaker 2: I'm used to doing.
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: But I miss it.
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: I miss being in the action of it all.
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: And you know, someone said to me once oh how can you coach the kids when you don't know what it feels like?
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: I was like well, of course I know what it feels like, I experienced all of it.
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: It may have been a long time ago, but it feels like it was yesterday.
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: Of course, those emotions are still there, very visceral.
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, that was a recent example coaching my own kids and them actually listening, because I wasn't giving too much.
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: I was just like, just focus on where you are right now and that next little bit not.
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: Oh my God, it's like building a business you don't think about.
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: Oh well, I have to.
• 45:48
  Speaker 1: You know, I'm going to have a podcast and I'm going to have 61 episodes.
• 45:54
  Speaker 2: No yeah.
• 45:55
  Speaker 1: No, you can't.
• 45:56
  Speaker 2: It's too monumental.
• 45:57
  Speaker 2: It has to be baby step, baby step, baby step to absolutely everything, all right.
• 46:02
  Speaker 2: So, speaking of the podcast, let's talk about your podcast, because you are relaunching your podcast, and that's actually how I met you in the first place was.
• 46:09
  Speaker 2: I heard about your podcast and I reached out to you because I wanted to be a guest on your show and you were right, I was never a guest on your show.
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: Well, you will be, because you stopped, I and you were right, I was never a guest on your show.
• 46:16
  Speaker 2: Well you will be Because you stopped I think you had stopped recording and we went and we met for lunch one day and we just started gabbing and I was like, oh my goodness, we have so much in common Just in our life path and our journey and our vision of where we are.
• 46:28
  Speaker 2: And then breathwork we both had the same breathwork coach.
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: And so our paths just keep kind of crossing, crossing.
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: We need to give a shout out to jen, because jen for breathwork, oh my goodness, breathwork changed my life.
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: That was the second phase of uh, of healing and elevating.
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: Was breathwork first.
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: It was meditation, yeah, and I know that for you too, yeah, um, and jen is incredible, um, and I continue and I will forever to do breathwork with her, me too yeah, no, like it's like it gets ingrained in who you are and it is one of the greatest gifts once you figure out how to do it, and it really is a tool that I use for every athlete that I work with.
• 47:05
  Speaker 2: It's so important, yes, and every professional athlete a hundred percent is doing it which does help a little bit with teenagers where they want to feel like the pros are doing.
• 47:15
  Speaker 2: You know that they can do what the pros are doing when, like, if a pro athlete isn't doing it, then it's not really as cool.
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: Oh, and they're all.
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: Everyone at the top is you have to?
• 47:25
  Speaker 2: Very, because they figured out nervous system regulation.
• 47:27
  Speaker 2: It's so important they figured it out.
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: So important, and it's the best tool.
• 47:31
  Speaker 2: It is Okay, so let's talk about your podcast.
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: So I launched.
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: It's called Constantly Curious, and initially, when I launched it two years ago two and a half years ago I was.
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: The impetus behind it was that I was feeling lonely as an entrepreneur and I wanted to connect with like-minded people who were doing the same kinds of thing that I was and I also have done a lot of voiceover work in my career and I just love talking with people and learning about people, and I wanted to share inspiring stories.
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: So initially I launched it.
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: I have 16 episodes, I believe, that are still on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and then I paused last year, the beginning of last year.
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: I had to take a pause because I was focused on what I'm doing now and I needed to take all of use, all of my good energy, to build the website and start to market and get clients, all the things.
• 48:27
  Speaker 1: And then I co-hosted a local podcast for a little while called Building Greenwich, which I really loved, but it wasn't aligned with where I'm going in my career, and so I then, through breathwork, actually learned this is not aligned right now.
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: That word kept coming up Like it's not aligned with what I'm doing as a coach for these kids, and so I pressed pause on everything podcast related.
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: A year ago now it was last August and then Constantly Curious, has kept coming up for me.
• 48:59
  Speaker 1: I miss it and I can't wait to get back to it.
• 49:02
  Speaker 1: Um, and I'm I'm kind of switching gears on the format.
• 49:05
  Speaker 1: So I'm going to do more short form episodes because I want for like I've had parents reach out to me and say, oh, are there any episodes that my kid can listen to before they start working with you?
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: And so I'm going to be building out a YouTube channel and on Spotify and Apple, more short form, like five to 12 minute episodes on specific topics.
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: But it's not just going to be about mental performance, it's also going to be life and parenting, and it will always circle around the work that I do, because that's who I am.
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: But I am constantly curious you are, and it just so happens to be that I'm constantly curious about mental performance.
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: But it ties into everything that I do in my life as a parent, as a spouse, as a friend, as a daughter, as a sister.
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: It's all tied.
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: So I am going to be doing solo episodes and then eventually, once I've got the ball rolling again, we'll interview amazing humans like yourself, and I've met some incredible people along this journey already in the past nine months whom I can't wait to share their stories.
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: So there's a lot to come.
• 50:13
  Speaker 2: It's exciting and now that I've said it out loud, it has to happen, it has to happen.
• 50:18
  Speaker 2: So I want to talk about two things that I just want to point out to the listeners, two things that you said that I think are really important.
• 50:24
  Speaker 2: And one is and I don't know that you know that you use these words, but maybe you do, being a mindset coach, you maybe know it you just said something the podcast wasn't aligned right now.
• 50:37
  Speaker 2: And then you said you decided to take a pause on the podcast.
• 50:42
  Speaker 2: And what's so important about both of the way that you phrase that and you framed that is it wasn't about saying the podcast is never happening or I can't be a podcaster.
• 50:53
  Speaker 2: It was about saying, for right here, right now, it just doesn't align.
• 50:58
  Speaker 2: But now all of a sudden it's come back and it's going to twist a little bit.
• 51:02
  Speaker 2: And I bring this up because a lot of times, as an entrepreneur and even as an athlete and this applies to everybody we try to do so many things and we want to be excellent at everything, and sometimes you have to take some stuff off your plate to really really focus for a little bit.
• 51:16
  Speaker 2: And it's not to say some stuff off your plate, to really, really focus for a little bit, and it's not to say those things can't come back, they can come back.
• 51:22
  Speaker 2: But just really hone in and really focus for a little bit and then, when your plate is a little bit lighter, then you can add those other things.
• 51:30
  Speaker 2: So thank you for phrasing it that way.
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: Thank you for recapping that and reminding me that.
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: I said that because I have a whiteboard in this office where I wrote down the things.
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: I kind of made a list, you know, with a line down the middle what is working and what's not working.
• 51:47
  Speaker 1: Yes, and for right now, where I am in my career, you know, I'm surrounded by people that go to the same job every day and they're very they're settled in their careers and I'm not and it's a challenge for me and it's also the ego caring about what other people think, which I do a lot of work on not caring.
• 52:07
  Speaker 1: But when I stopped doing the podcast, people were like, where is it?
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: Where is it?
• 52:11
  Speaker 1: And for a little while I was like, oh gosh, I'm letting people down, but at the end of the day I was really letting myself down.
• 52:18
  Speaker 1: So I was like, oh gosh, I'm letting people down, but at the end of the day I was really letting myself down.
• 52:21
  Speaker 1: So to your point, of course it can come back, and who cares what other people think of where you are in your career, in your life journey?
• 52:26
  Speaker 1: All that matters really is you, for you, what you're doing.
• 52:31
  Speaker 1: So the what works and what doesn't work list was a really good reminder and I recommend everyone do it if you're feeling like, oh my gosh, how am I ever going to get there?
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: How am I going to make that work?
• 52:41
  Speaker 1: There are a lot of things that I needed to sacrifice and most of it was social.
• 52:47
  Speaker 1: I love being social with people and I love going on walks or going to parties, but right now I can't do that.
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: Right now, going on walks I will make time for, depending on whom I'm walking with.
• 53:01
  Speaker 1: Yes, but I'm a walker now.
• 53:02
  Speaker 1: But spending time socializing like I got invited to a birthday party on Saturday night and I was exhausted and I had a big day on Sunday and I just said no, and there's so much power.
• 53:16
  Speaker 2: So much power in saying no, two little letters, so much power.
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: Which I've.
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: It's taken me a long time to learn and I'm still learning every day.
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: But right now, especially in this season of my life and I like to see things in seasons and we're lucky enough to live in Southern Connecticut where we do experience all four seasons yes, it like really helps propel you through the year.
• 53:36
  Speaker 1: It's we're going into the fall season.
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: It's really exciting.
• 53:38
  Speaker 1: It really helps propel you through the year.
• 53:38
  Speaker 1: We're going into the fall season.
• 53:39
  Speaker 1: It's really exciting.
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: It's a beautiful time of year but can also be a very social time of year.
• 53:44
  Speaker 1: My kids are going back to school, there are parent socials, there's this, there's that.
• 53:47
  Speaker 1: So, just knowing when to say yes and when to say no, and planning it, I have a big paper calendar like an old school 1995 desk calendar.
• 53:57
  Speaker 1: It's so nerdy, but I need everything to be on paper.
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: Everything's digital too.
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: You got to do what works for you, but I like being able to look ahead.
• 54:05
  Speaker 1: Oh, in three weeks from now, I have three things that week.
• 54:09
  Speaker 1: Okay, well, in the week before I'm going to need to restore because that's going to be a lot of energy out.
• 54:15
  Speaker 1: You know we talked about energy in and energy out in the beginning.
• 54:17
  Speaker 1: Yes, a lot of what you do with the podcast.
• 54:20
  Speaker 1: It's a lot of energy that goes into creating a podcast.
• 54:24
  Speaker 2: You know it's not like.
• 54:25
  Speaker 1: You just show up on a mic looking beautiful and do what you do every day.
• 54:28
  Speaker 1: You practice, you prepare you send me questions.
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: There's research, there's research.
• 54:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't just show up.
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: So I'm excited for this next season and willing to sacrifice these things, because what I want in building of my career is something that I have always wanted.
• 54:47
  Speaker 1: It's just actually happening now, right.
• 54:50
  Speaker 2: And doing the work again.
• 54:51
  Speaker 2: Okay, so before we run out of time, I have one last question for you.
• 54:54
  Speaker 2: I always ask all my guests if there's a book that they would like to recommend that has impacted them either personally or professionally.
• 55:00
  Speaker 2: So what book would you like to recommend?
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: Well, I'm so excited that you asked this and that you let me know ahead of time, because there are so many great books.
• 55:08
  Speaker 1: There are, but this one.
• 55:10
  Speaker 1: It's called Journey to the Heart.
• 55:12
  Speaker 1: The author is Melody Beatty and it's daily meditations on the path to freeing your soul.
• 55:20
  Speaker 1: But I was gifted this book three years ago and it's like every day it's got a little passage, passage.
• 55:29
  Speaker 1: What's today, august 19th?
• 55:31
  Speaker 1: I think so.
• 55:34
  Speaker 1: Yep, august 19th yes so today how appropriate your destiny is now.
• 55:39
  Speaker 1: And she just, it's a little paragraph and at the end it has a motivational thing like let yourself live and be in each moment, with each person, learning each lesson along the way.
• 55:48
  Speaker 1: Destiny isn't someplace we go, destiny is where we are.
• 55:52
  Speaker 1: So I've had it by my bedside for three years and I read it every single day religiously for the first year that I had it and then in year two I would had it by my bedside for three years and I read it every single day religiously for the first year that I had it and then in year two I would read it a couple of times a week.
• 56:02
  Speaker 1: And now in year three, it's like I got all the lessons and now I touch base with it.
• 56:07
  Speaker 1: Like, actually I'm so grateful that I just read that passage because it resonated.
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: It does, but it's a great book.
• 56:13
  Speaker 1: Again, journey to the Heart, melody Beattie.
• 56:15
  Speaker 1: She has another book too, but it helped me and I've sent it as a gift to so many friends that they have said the same, like, wow, I just keep this by my bedside and it's just a good reminder it is Of how lucky we are to be here.
• 56:27
  Speaker 1: Yes, again, gratitude.
• 56:31
  Speaker 2: Yes, and her story is inspiring, so I have it as well.
• 56:34
  Speaker 1: I have the book, thanks to you, so you told me about the book, and so I actually yeah, and her story is inspiring.
• 56:38
  Speaker 1: Her story is super inspiring.
• 56:40
  Speaker 1: She's a storyteller.
• 56:41
  Speaker 2: Yes, and I have that right next to where I sit and journal and I look at it not every day, but I always find.
• 56:47
  Speaker 2: What I think is so cool about it is that I always find when I do look at it, the message is so appropriate.
• 56:53
  Speaker 2: So, whatever makes me look at it that day, the yet.
• 56:56
  Speaker 2: So whatever makes me look at it that day, the message is really meant to resonate for that day.
• 57:04
  Speaker 1: Me too, and I do want to add you and I both have a gratitude practice, and that's something that I also teach the kids.
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: But writing down, like getting it out of your head and onto paper, what you're grateful for, because there's so much to be grateful for in this world yes, it sets your brain up to see the good every day, 100%.
• 57:18
  Speaker 1: And not in a cheesy way, not like, oh, everything's great all the time.
• 57:21
  Speaker 1: It's not, but when you are set up to think positively in the beginning of every day, it really does help you get through the day with the light that you need to see the good.
• 57:34
  Speaker 1: Couldn't agree more.
• 57:37
  Speaker 2: I just love it.
• 57:38
  Speaker 2: And I'm with you.
• 57:39
  Speaker 2: I have gratitude every morning.
• 57:41
  Speaker 2: It's the way to go and I can't believe I wasn't doing it my whole life.
• 57:43
  Speaker 1: I know I thought I was, but you know I'm always grateful, but saying it and writing it down has just shifted things for me.
• 57:52
  Speaker 1: I can't explain it, me too, but I just see everything as possible that I maybe didn't see as totally possible before.
• 58:00
  Speaker 1: But to what you said before, it's baby steps, baby steps.
• 58:03
  Speaker 1: Exactly this is a baby step for me, so thank you.
• 58:07
  Speaker 2: I love, I love.
• 58:08
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much for spending so much time with me.
• 58:10
  Speaker 2: I am so inspired and empowered by what you're doing to help teenage athletes.
• 58:16
  Speaker 2: Teenagers just need all the help, and you're teaching them such critical skills to help them be better athletes, but also to be better human beings.
• 58:23
  Speaker 2: So you are doing some really powerful work, and I'm going to link everything in the show notes so people can reach out to you.
• 58:28
  Speaker 2: I encourage everyone, even if you don't have a teenage athlete, follow Lindsay on Instagram, because so much of what you post about and talk about applies to adults too.
• 58:37
  Speaker 1: So this will motivate me to keep posting and thank you yeah, it's official, lindsay Potter and thanks for linking everything I will.
• 58:43
  Speaker 1: I feel the same way about you, and you know it.
• 58:45
  Speaker 1: I am always inspired, and that's the beauty of being an entrepreneur.
• 58:49
  Speaker 1: You do start to surround yourself with people that lift you up, people that have been in the space where you want to go, and people that support you, you know, and also will call you out when you're doing things you shouldn't be doing.
• 59:00
  Speaker 2: Don't waste your time.
• 59:01
  Speaker 2: Don't waste your time, so thank you so much.
• 59:04
  Speaker 1: It's always a joy talking to you and I.
• 59:06
  Speaker 1: This is really motivating me to get back on the podcast train, so thank you.
• 59:11
  Speaker 2: You are welcome, and we're going to launch this for back to school because the timing is perfect.
• 59:14
  Speaker 2: That's when all the athletes really need as much help as possible, so we will launch this for back to school.
• 59:18
  Speaker 2: So welcome back to school everybody.
• 59:21
  Speaker 1: Thank you, lindsay.
• 59:21
  Speaker 1: Have a beautiful week.
• 59:23
  Speaker 1: Okay, talk soon.
• 59:24
  Speaker 2: Bye, Thank you.
• 59:25
  Speaker 2: Thank you for joining us for another episode of the House of Germar podcast.
• 59:31
  Speaker 2: Where wellness starts within.
• 59:33
  Speaker 2: We appreciate you being a part of our community and hope you felt inspired and motivated by our guest.
• 59:40
  Speaker 2: If you enjoyed this episode, please write us a review and share it with friends.
• 59:44
  Speaker 2: Building our reach on YouTube and Apple Podcasts will help us get closer to our mission to empower 1 million women to live all in.
• 59:52
  Speaker 2: You can also follow us on Instagram at House of Jermar and sign up to be a part of our monthly inspiration newsletter through our website, House of Germar dot com.
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 2: If you or someone you know would be a good guest on the show, please reach out to us at podcast at House of Germar dot com.
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 2: This has been a House of Germar production with your host, Jean Collins.
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 2: Thank you for joining our house.