Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Why Are All Narcissists Exactly The Same?

Transcript

Why Are All Narcissists Exactly The Same? · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on, beautiful people.
• 0:02
  Today we're going to be talking about why are all narcissists
• 0:06
  the same? Is there like a a playbook that
• 0:10
  they're reading from? If you're new here, my name is
• 0:13
  Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist and
• 0:16
  welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
• 0:35
  Boom, Welcome back folks, welcome back, welcome back.
• 0:37
  What up y'all? Yes, yes, yes.
• 0:39
  So if you don't know, my podcast, my real podcast, The
• 0:43
  Mental Illness Podcast is launching here pretty soon.
• 0:46
  The very first interview that I'm going to be doing is with my
• 0:49
  wife. She's going to be on there
• 0:51
  telling her story about her life.
• 0:53
  Not all about narcissism, y'all, It's her story.
• 0:55
  Going to be interviewing her. Make sure you hit the subscribe
• 0:57
  button so you don't miss a thing.
• 0:59
  If you want to be interviewed, shoot me an e-mail.
• 1:01
  If you live in the North Carolina area, we can make it
• 1:02
  happen in person. Let's get it.
• 1:05
  But yes y'all. Wow all narcissists the same
• 1:08
  like leave the videos you do or like spot on for my partner.
• 1:12
  Is there like a book that you have that you write a book about
• 1:15
  narcissism? I'm currently writing my book
• 1:17
  about narcissism. Yes, that's coming soon.
• 1:20
  But the reason most narcissists are the same, it's because the
• 1:23
  traits are similar, right? So most narcissists are alike,
• 1:28
  but also not the same. The way I describe it as the way
• 1:32
  I like to describe it as I got rough hands.
• 1:33
  I worked in, I worked in a warehouse for like 10 years.
• 1:35
  Y'all did. I work in a warehouse for 10
• 1:37
  years. I worked at Harris City
• 1:38
  Distribution Center in Greensboro for seven years.
• 1:42
  I worked at Quality Associates in Reidsville, Equity in
• 1:45
  Reidsville, a Goodyear in Danville.
• 1:49
  I think I did about 10-11 years in the warehouse. 1011 yeah, I
• 1:52
  did about 10-11 years in the warehouse.
• 1:54
  Did almost a decade in the warehouse.
• 1:55
  My hands are kind of rough. Don't judge me.
• 1:57
  It's a working man's hands. But I like to look at it as
• 2:01
  fingerprints, right? Everybody has fingerprints, but
• 2:05
  no two fingerprints are exactly the same.
• 2:07
  Like you can describe narcissists as narcissists, but
• 2:10
  when you get down to the like, the damn near the narcissistic
• 2:13
  molecular level is going to be different.
• 2:17
  We going to be different because I'm black.
• 2:21
  You might have a white narcissist, you might have a
• 2:23
  Hispanic narcissist, an Asian narcissist, right?
• 2:26
  All religious narcissist, like socioeconomic statuses are
• 2:32
  different, cultural cultures are different, locations are
• 2:35
  different. You know, religions are
• 2:37
  different, races are different, ethnicities are different.
• 2:40
  Like, you're going to be deep, like beneath the surface is
• 2:43
  going to be the same, but the exterior is going to be
• 2:44
  different, right? So that's why most narcissists
• 2:46
  are going to be active like behavior like, because the
• 2:48
  traits are all going to be the same and the mode, yeah, the
• 2:52
  motivation is pretty much going to be similar as well.
• 2:54
  Not, not only are the traits similar across the board because
• 2:57
  there's 9 diagnosable criteria for narcissistic personality
• 3:01
  disorder, right? The 9 traits of narcissism, you
• 3:03
  only have to have five to be diagnosed.
• 3:07
  You don't have to have five out of the 9 to be diagnosed with
• 3:10
  this personality disorder, right?
• 3:12
  So in these spaces and these dynamics, this is what you have
• 3:14
  to understand like you don't have to not and not everybody's
• 3:19
  going to have the same 5. Some people don't have 6789 for
• 3:22
  9:00, right? Some people might be 9 for 9 and
• 3:25
  things like that. But this is the mindset you have
• 3:28
  to prepare for it. Like deal with this narcissistic
• 3:30
  person like that's my videos. Every single thing I talk about
• 3:34
  might absolutely resonate with one person, but not with another
• 3:37
  person. My narcissist, my narcissistic
• 3:40
  ex didn't do that. I might do a video about a
• 3:43
  narcissist living out of a trash bag, being homeless.
• 3:46
  That might not apply to you because you might have a rich,
• 3:48
  wealthy, athletic CEO, author, writer, actress, narcissist,
• 3:54
  right? So you those might not apply to
• 3:57
  you, but the motivations are all the same.
• 3:59
  This is This is why most narcissists are going to seem
• 4:01
  similar because the motivations are all the same as well.
• 4:05
  They're motivated by self self preservation.
• 4:08
  To me I feel like narcissism NBD.
• 4:10
  Whatever is a defense mechanism right?
• 4:12
  It's, it's, it's rooted in self-defense, right?
• 4:16
  So if we're rooted, if we're rooted, if we're rooted in
• 4:19
  self-defense, we're always trying to defend ourselves in
• 4:22
  some way, shape or form, right? So we're always trying to make
• 4:25
  things happen. We're always trying to, you
• 4:27
  know, find a way to make ourselves better.
• 4:29
  We're always trying to find a way to heal and try to move
• 4:32
  forward and things of that nature.
• 4:33
  We're always trying to find a way to, to protect ourselves and
• 4:36
  preserve ourselves or to defend ourselves, right?
• 4:40
  Or or or we also have the motivation to find validation.
• 4:46
  And by validation, I mean narcissistic supply, right?
• 4:49
  We always had the had the motivation to find more
• 4:51
  narcissistic supply because there's a truth to that as well.
• 4:54
  Isn't it like most narcissistic people are going to be trying to
• 4:58
  find that narcissistic supply, what they call it sweet supply
• 5:01
  juice. This was I've seen some people
• 5:03
  refer to now the the the dude, the nameless narcissist.
• 5:06
  He calls it AI forgot the name he calls.
• 5:11
  I thought I thought what he called it validation juice or
• 5:13
  some something like that. I forgot what he called it, but
• 5:16
  he said the narcissist. I'm trying to get supply.
• 5:19
  It really is just like that and again y'all, I'm in my office
• 5:21
  and again I know y'all hear the damn siren again never failed.
• 5:26
  It never failed like I can't come in here not one day and not
• 5:29
  have the police come by drive by or flying by here like it's
• 5:32
  crazy. There you go I know y'all hear
• 5:36
  like damn Lee, I didn't hear it at first there.
• 5:38
  There you go yeah, absolutely. It happens literally every
• 5:40
  single time. Y'all Somebody, somebody,
• 5:43
  somebody just join my support group.
• 5:44
  Yeah, support groups at mentalillness.net.
• 5:47
  Literally somebody just join my support group.
• 5:49
  But yeah, this is something that so many people have to deal
• 5:52
  with. Like we are motivated to either
• 5:55
  protect ourselves or we're motivated to try go out and try
• 5:59
  to get some type of narcissistic supply like this.
• 6:02
  This pretty much the only not the only motivation, but if this
• 6:06
  that's what we're motivated by. So if we all have very similar
• 6:10
  motivations that we're all going to seem similar, the way we go
• 6:13
  about getting it might be very different, right?
• 6:15
  We're all going to be manipulative.
• 6:17
  We're all going to be, you know, gas lighty, we all, we all going
• 6:21
  to look, we all going to have our own set of deeds right here,
• 6:24
  right? We all going to come, we all, we
• 6:27
  all come with a set of these. It's just that our red flags
• 6:30
  might absolutely be different. You might have an introverted
• 6:34
  like narcissist or narcissist, but you might have an
• 6:37
  introverted narcissist. Somebody else might have an
• 6:39
  extroverted narcissist. Somebody else might have a
• 6:41
  covert narcissist. Somebody else might have a
• 6:43
  covert narcissist. Somebody else might have a
• 6:45
  malignant narcissist. Somebody else might have a damn
• 6:47
  a psychopath. You see what I'm saying,
• 6:48
  malignant narcissist, psychopath, whatever, you're
• 6:51
  going to have something. Everybody's got their own
• 6:53
  narcissistic person to deal with or to battle with or to just
• 6:56
  come back in their own life and they can get very sticky Can
• 7:01
  they can get very sticky. That's their, their, their
• 7:03
  thing. Get sticky.
• 7:04
  That's a new song with TikTok and it gets sticky.
• 7:07
  But some of the people are battling this and this is
• 7:09
  something that you have to consider like when you're
• 7:11
  dealing with a narcissistic person, figure out what their
• 7:13
  motivation is, right? You want to defeat a narcissist,
• 7:17
  figure out what they're motivated by, either what
• 7:21
  they're motivated by or what they're trying to defend
• 7:23
  themselves from. Most times they're trying to
• 7:26
  defend themselves from shame. They're trying to avoid shame at
• 7:29
  anybody at any means, by any means possible.
• 7:31
  I'm trying to avoid shame. I'm trying to get away from it.
• 7:34
  I don't want to feel it. Shame is shame is icky.
• 7:37
  Shame is icky as hell, right? Shame is super icky.
• 7:42
  I don't want to feel shame. So their motive, a lot of people
• 7:44
  are defending themselves against shame and they're motivated to
• 7:48
  try to stay away from shame. You see, they're all just
• 7:51
  telling y'all so much. Like figure out what their
• 7:52
  motivations motivations are and what they're trying to defend
• 7:55
  themselves from. And you can defeat the
• 7:57
  narcissist and then you can figure out what they're getting
• 7:59
  from you as well. Because a lot of times
• 8:01
  narcissists, the people that are motivated by supply, what type
• 8:05
  of supply or validation are they getting from you?
• 8:09
  Because that's extremely important.
• 8:11
  Are they getting financial supply from you?
• 8:13
  Are they getting some just, you know, bedroom supply?
• 8:16
  Are they getting some type of emotional supply?
• 8:18
  Are you their physical, their punching bag?
• 8:21
  You something say are they, are you their vent?
• 8:23
  You know what I mean? Are you, are you a placeholder
• 8:25
  supply? Are you a transitional supply?
• 8:27
  You might be transitional you, your place in their life might
• 8:30
  not be permanent. They might be telling you that
• 8:32
  it's going to be permanent. They might be trying to convince
• 8:34
  you that you're going to be permanent.
• 8:36
  They might be trying to sell you a dream, but they, they're going
• 8:39
  to deliver you a nightmare. This happens to so many people.
• 8:43
  They, I'm just telling you, they sell you a dream and deliver you
• 8:46
  a damn nightmare. This is, yeah.
• 8:48
  It's just the crux of it all right here.
• 8:51
  It really is. So I just feel like, did you
• 8:53
  figure out what their motive, figure out what they're
• 8:54
  motivated by in your own particular situation?
• 8:57
  Because most narcissists are going to be motivated by the
• 8:59
  same thing because the traits are similar.
• 9:02
  You know, the traits are similar, but how we express
• 9:04
  those traits are going to be different.
• 9:06
  So why are all narcissists the same?
• 9:08
  They are the same. We are the same to a certain
• 9:10
  extent. Like me and Ben Taylor.
• 9:13
  Ben Taylor are all motivations. We're both diagnosed
• 9:15
  narcissists, but we go about getting our narcissists applied
• 9:18
  in different ways. I'm, you know, we both might be
• 9:21
  covert narcissists. I could be a little bit more
• 9:23
  overt. You see what I'm saying?
• 9:26
  But then you get to the lions. Use that not on the covert
• 9:28
  narcissist, but then you get to the like me and the bat wolf.
• 9:31
  He's it seems like he's an outgoing extrovert.
• 9:34
  I'm more introverted, you see what I'm saying?
• 9:35
  We have the same goals. We just go about getting them in
• 9:39
  a different way. So figure out what their goal is
• 9:42
  like. Study like, yeah, if you have a
• 9:44
  narcissistic person in your life that you can't really get rid of
• 9:47
  because y'all Co Co parent or whatever, you got to parent with
• 9:49
  this person for a long time or whatever the situation may be.
• 9:52
  Ask like, you can study them. You're right, you can study
• 9:55
  them. Think about it.
• 9:56
  I'm not telling you to go back to them, Right.
• 9:58
  Don't go back to them. This is not me.
• 9:59
  Well, Lee, I studied them and I feel like I can handle it.
• 10:01
  Why? No, that ain't what I said.
• 10:03
  Yeah, that ain't what I said. It is not what I say.
• 10:05
  I did not say study them to go back to that.
• 10:07
  I did not say that. Why you doing that then?
• 10:11
  I did not say that. So don't go back to the
• 10:13
  toxicity. What I said was study them,
• 10:16
  figure them out. So you learn, learn how to deal
• 10:18
  with them as on an as needed basis as you need to learn how
• 10:23
  to deal with them as needed as you need to deal with them as
• 10:26
  you learn to deal with them as needed, needed.
• 10:30
  You need it needed like some dough as needed like like like
• 10:35
  some bread like some bread needed like some bread y'all.
• 10:40
  Anyway y'all the the the cold creeping in pre Christmas code.
• 10:44
  Like I said you can find everything about me at
• 10:46
  mentalillness.net. Join a support group.
• 10:49
  Somebody just joined it. While I was literally doing it I
• 10:51
  heard the beep go off Support group, my coaching, my courses.
• 10:54
  Everything is available at mentalillness.net.
• 10:57
  Subscribe to the channel and I will see y'all later.
• 10:59
  Peace. What's going on?
• 11:01
  Beautiful folks. Thank you so much for making it
• 11:03
  to the end of my video. I truly appreciate it.
• 11:04
  You have no idea. If you haven't already, hit that
• 11:07
  subscribe button. You made it this far, you might
• 11:09
  as well subscribe. It really does help the channel
• 11:13
  y'all, y'all? It helps me reach more people as
• 11:14
  well. Also, I have coaching my courses
• 11:17
  and my support group available at www.mentalhillness.net.
• 11:21
  Thank you so much. Make sure you stick around,
• 11:22
  watch another video or two. I appreciate it.
• 11:25
  I'm out.