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'Postpartum' with Brittani Noel · Mommywood

0:02
Welcome back to Mommywood, the podcast where we dive into the
0:07
wild, beautiful and sometimes completely crazy world of being
0:12
both a mom and a performer. I am your host Emily, and if
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you've ever found yourself running on coffee, passion and
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the sheer willpower of a sleep deprived parent then you are in
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the right place. On this episode of Mommy Wood, I
0:28
have the pleasure of talking with Brittany Noel.
0:30
She's an actress, a writer, and she's a on camera confidence
0:35
coach, which is a real thing and it's a very cool thing.
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We talked in this episode about what that actually is and how
0:44
she started doing that and it's so interesting and so cool as
0:49
she's obviously also a mom. And right now, she's really
0:54
pouring her creativity into a new short film called
0:58
Postpartum, which is currently seeking funding.
1:02
So if it strikes your fancy, please click on any of the links
1:09
that I'll be sharing the show notes or on social media.
1:13
That is definitely a great way to help out.
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This film is already striking A chord with so many parents.
1:20
Obviously, postpartum is definitely something we need to
1:24
talk more about and make it more of a conversation.
1:27
So I'm so excited to hear more about her film and we talked
1:33
about it in this conversation, of course, but if you follow
1:37
Brittany and definitely follow along with her journey and
1:42
hopefully we'll get to see the film soon.
1:45
And it's such an exciting endeavour that she is going for.
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And in our conversation, she talks, she opens up about her
1:56
own motherhood journey, the inspiration behind Postpartum
2:02
and how she's balancing her career with creativity and
2:06
family life. And she is so open and honest
2:11
and it's such a great conversation.
2:14
And let's just dive in. I know you're going to love this
2:18
episode of Mommy Wood with Brittany Noel.
2:22
Brittany, welcome to Mommy Wood. Thanks for being here.
2:26
I'm so excited to chat with you. Thanks for.
2:28
Having. Me.
2:30
Let's start with your kids and age.
2:34
Yeah, but I'm in denial of their age.
2:37
I still think they're babies. But they'll always be our
2:40
babies. I know I have a four at a
2:42
recently turned 7. Wow, 7 feels like such a big
2:46
number. Yeah, right.
2:48
They're a full kid. Yeah, well, my husband was like,
2:53
you do realize he's 1/3 of the way out of this house.
2:56
I was like, please don't say that to me now.
2:58
I'm really anxious. I'm an anxious person anyway.
3:00
And now I'm going to have an anxiety attack.
3:01
Like I need to go play with him for he's almost gone.
3:04
That's brutal. Why would he say that?
3:07
I don't. It's not the worst.
3:09
I was like, I don't you want to hear it?
3:10
Oh my goodness. What are their names?
3:13
It's. Two boys, right?
3:14
Two boys, Yeah. Kaden and Ollie.
3:17
That's sweet. Is it Oliver?
3:18
It is Oliver. Funny you should ask, because I
3:20
really wanted it to be just Ollie, like not short for
3:23
anything, just straight up Ollie because that's badass.
3:25
And my husband was like, no, it's going to be Oliver because
3:28
when he's older, he might not think that's as cute as you
3:30
think it is. So I was like, OK.
3:32
Fine, he'll always think it's cute.
3:36
Gosh, what was that transition like from 1:00 to 2:00?
3:41
Is that like was it more of a transition to get to 1 or to get
3:48
to 2? It was definitely more to 1.
3:50
I mean 1 is just like it blows your mind that like, Oh my God,
3:54
like I created an actual person and like I I just found myself
3:59
crying like every two seconds like he's just so dependent on
4:03
me. Like I'm, you know, it's just so
4:06
like moving, humbling, all the things.
4:08
It's just, I just found myself like just crying out of nowhere
4:12
for just looking at him and being like, Oh my gosh, this is
4:15
real. So it's just that shock of, of
4:17
being in that position. The second one, you don't really
4:19
have that. It's just like.
4:20
Oh, cute. Yeah.
4:22
I feel like probably with the second one, it seems more like
4:24
you're like, OK, well, I've kept this one.
4:26
OK, I can handle. This one more fear.
4:30
Sure, I. Can do this, yeah.
4:32
Did you know you wanted kids or or was it like something later
4:36
on that you thought of or had you always wanted them or?
4:39
I always, I always imagined just that I would one day.
4:43
I mean, you know, my whole life growing up was playing with
4:45
dolls and having babies. So like, it just seemed so
4:49
rooted in, you know, but then the timing, you know, as well
4:54
was the whole thing as, oh, God, time is sneaking up on me.
4:57
On the when, Yeah. Right, it's so rude that we
5:00
actually have a biological clock, like not even including
5:04
the like, you know, I think we're getting better, but the
5:09
actress clock as well, which hopefully is not a as much of a
5:15
thing. But the whole even just like
5:18
getting your career started before you have kids or like
5:23
trying to feel like you have momentum going, but when you
5:26
have it going, it's like, I don't want it to stop either,
5:29
so. Exactly.
5:30
I was literally just talking to a friend of mine about this
5:33
because she's like very much in a big momentum space with her
5:36
career. And I told her, well, I mean, I
5:39
was kind of like, I guess I don't really have much going on.
5:42
So maybe I should have just like kind of, for lack of a better
5:45
way of expressing it, like get this out of the way.
5:47
I don't want to say it like that, but you know what I mean?
5:49
Like get this done now since no one's demanding me.
5:52
But at the same time, I also felt like I didn't feel
5:56
satisfaction or pride with like where I was in my career.
6:01
And so I told my husband I was like, I don't think I'm ready to
6:03
do this until I kind of do something that I can feel proud
6:06
of. So I crowdfunded a short film
6:09
that I started and I wrote, I did it.
6:11
And like the second we finished shooting, like that day, I was
6:14
like, okay, you can release the gates.
6:16
And I was like the next month I was pregnant and I was doing the
6:20
festival. So I get with my baby in tow,
6:22
which I was. Like, oh, that's amazing.
6:24
It was. Actually kind of great.
6:25
I mean, on the one hand it wasn't in one hand, it was
6:27
because a friend of mine who's an actress and I'm already a mom
6:30
told me to like, make sure you have something for yourself that
6:32
reminds you of who you are. Like you as a creative
6:35
individual, like when you have that baby so that you don't lose
6:38
yourself in that identity crisis that comes with motherhood.
6:41
So she kind of prepared me for that idea.
6:43
So I loved the idea that as like, the baby was about to be
6:46
born. Like, so was my short film about
6:48
to be done and sent off to the, you know, the festivals.
6:52
That being said, going to festivals with a newborn was
6:55
pretty hard because I was like 1 foot in the festival, 1 foot
6:58
running up to breastfeed every, you know, two hours.
7:01
Sure. So yeah, it was a dirty.
7:04
Yeah, that's wild. I mean, that's, I feel like a
7:06
better way to put it though, just like to have done something
7:10
that you feel proud of as opposed to like book XY or Z,
7:16
Yeah, that you don't really have control of, as opposed to
7:19
something creating that you created yourself where you're
7:22
like, I can do this and right. And I just want to feel
7:26
resentful of my new role in the way that like the friend that
7:29
I'm referring to is nervous that, you know, Oh, she has a
7:34
baby now and that slows down her momentum.
7:36
She's going to be kind of frustrated and doesn't want, you
7:38
know, you don't want that either.
7:39
So it's kind of it's they, they do say it's true.
7:43
There's no really like perfect time.
7:46
And, you know, I try to, while I still sometimes feel like that
7:50
sucks that I, I, I thought I'd be at this certain level before
7:53
having kids. On the other hand, other people
7:55
may have kids later and be at that certain level, but now they
7:58
have more, you know, resources to enlist help with the baby
8:03
and, you know, be in a space where they can make that work.
8:07
So I'm trying to come to peace with where how the timeline
8:11
timed out for me. Yeah, you know, no, I get it.
8:14
And there really isn't, there's no good time to have kids
8:19
really. I mean, because you can think of
8:20
it either like age wise or where you are personally and also like
8:26
career wise, you can just there's always so many reasons
8:31
not to have it. And then it's like if you wait
8:34
too long, if it's something you want to do, you can't, you can't
8:38
wait forever. I mean, men can wait longer than
8:42
we can, but we're the other more important half of it.
8:47
Exactly. So yeah, it definitely gets
8:49
tricky. Now, is your husband in the
8:52
industry as well or what does he do?
8:55
No thank. God.
8:56
Well, on some level, thank God, sometimes I can't, I like not
8:59
thank God because I feel like there's so many things he
9:02
doesn't, you know, like it's hard for him to understand about
9:05
this business and lifestyle, but you know, it's always it's been
9:10
nice overall to have the dynamic of I'm a creative person.
9:14
He's more in the, you know, the corporate world, business world.
9:18
And so there's one stay behind one because I'm like, very.
9:21
Right. All over just to both
9:22
emotionally and otherwise, you know, like creatively and stuff.
9:26
So yeah, no, he's. Not yeah.
9:30
And where are you from originally?
9:32
I am of the rare breed of people.
9:34
You're from, He's from here. Which which area?
9:38
I'm from, well, I, I grew up close to Culver City.
9:42
Oh my gosh. Wow.
9:43
Yeah, I went to school to elementary just off of
9:46
Mulholland, then high school in Hancock Park, then over to Palos
9:50
Verdes halfway through. And then, just to be so cliche,
9:53
I went to USC to college. So perfect.
9:56
About as LA as it gets. So did you grow up 'cause as
10:01
someone like from the Midwest, I just assume everyone out here is
10:05
an actor or like in the industry.
10:07
So were your parents at all? No, actually, my mom is
10:12
Hungarian, so she's from Hungary, and she was a model and
10:16
also an actress in the theater back in Hungary.
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And she was quite famous in Hungary, like when I was younger
10:21
and I'd go back, I'd still go places.
10:23
I'd see her poster up and all these newspapers of her and
10:27
stuff. So she, you know, my family in
10:28
Hungary is in entertainment. Yeah, but my dad's a
10:31
gynecologist. Oh, so so yeah, no, no
10:35
entertainment routes in LA, but entertainment in my family.
10:39
OK. But that's probably nice or
10:41
maybe maybe awkward, I don't know, for your dad to be a
10:45
gynecologist. Like when you were pregnant,
10:48
were there, were there any like quest?
10:50
Did you like ask him all the? Things so many questions and it
10:53
was so nice actually to have my dad built in because you know,
10:56
you can ask your doctor certain like things.
10:58
We don't want to be like asking them something every two
11:01
seconds. So even like little things are,
11:03
you know, if the doctor said like, here's the situation, but
11:05
don't worry about it. I'm like, so he said, don't
11:07
worry about it, but should I be worried about it?
11:08
What are the, you know, like I'd get like I'm like, give me the
11:10
insights. Scoop on this piece.
11:12
Of update. That's nice.
11:14
Yeah, it was really nice to have.
11:16
I mean, in general in my life has just been, I feel like
11:18
having a, you know, a doctor in the family is just really
11:22
comforting. Did you then, growing up here,
11:26
always know that you wanted to be an actor?
11:29
I think I did because, you know, growing up, my cousin would come
11:32
out every, every like at least other summer and he was a writer
11:36
and we would, he would write a play, cast us, my sister, him
11:39
and myself in it. And we rehearse all day.
11:42
And then we would perform it for our parents at night.
11:45
And that was like our summers all like all summer, you know,
11:48
three months of summer. So it was always there.
11:50
And I think because I grew up in LA, like you keep hearing the
11:54
it's so hard, it's so hard, it's so hard.
11:56
So I think I kept always having a resistance to OK, I want to,
12:00
but like on some level, should I really or can I really?
12:04
And so I've always been in somewhat of a yoyo with it, like
12:07
always trying to convince myself kind of to not even though, but
12:11
I really want to some major in theater, you know, at USC and
12:13
all that. So it's like, I I would commit,
12:16
but then be like have a resistance in full, real, full
12:21
commitment. Gung ho yeah stuff.
12:23
So yeah. But every time I do try to pull
12:26
away, I get depressed and I like have to come back.
12:28
And then when I come back, I'm like, oh, but I like, I need to
12:32
make some kind of like more solid kind of income or like
12:35
more consistent or like, this is crazy.
12:37
Like how long can this lifestyle go on?
12:39
Really? Like it's time to grow up at
12:41
some point. But then anytime I try to grow
12:43
up, I'm like, no, this is not what the real meaning of life is
12:45
about you. Know did you find that even that
12:49
same because that was part of like wanting to start a family
12:54
and then being like, but I can't do it if I'm still still just
12:59
just trying at this. And that's a whole other
13:02
conversation that I just had with somebody about how we we
13:06
keep saying that we're pursuing acting and it's like, no, you're
13:10
doing it. We're just not getting paid all
13:13
the time. Like we're still doing it.
13:15
But but that being said, like feeling like we're still like
13:21
always trying to get somewhere, I felt like I did an episode
13:29
that I was like, is my kid going to think I'm a loser?
13:31
Like that type of thing? Or even just like you said,
13:34
having that steady income or consistency at the least, which
13:41
I'm sure having a steady partner, yeah, that at least
13:45
helps in that. But did you have struggle with
13:49
that and starting to have a? Family I have I think I have a
13:53
really engraved feeling of what you just said about like, oh,
13:57
are my kids going to be proud of you?
13:59
Are they going to think I'm a loser kind of like thing in my
14:02
head? And I think that's also like a
14:04
self-imposed like, do I think I'm a loser?
14:07
Like, you know, and, and like just so much pressure on myself
14:10
to succeed and move forward. Like I almost feel like I want
14:13
to cry now just talking about it because, because the magical
14:16
thing about kids that you kind of realized, and it really does
14:19
make me emotional is like, you know, they don't, but they don't
14:22
care what you've accomplished or not.
14:24
Like they just care that you're, you know, that you're present
14:27
and that you're there. That's that's enough that that's
14:30
sometimes really hard for me to remember because I still have
14:34
this voice like, like I need to, you know, like I need to be
14:37
successful, especially when you know, there's other kids.
14:40
So with celebrity parents, successful parents that are more
14:44
successful than me and that I, I do kind of think like, are they
14:46
going to have this thought? And I really need to stop
14:49
myself, you know, in these moments because it's like those
14:52
thoughts are not there for them right now.
14:53
Those thoughts are in my head imagining what might be one day
14:56
in their head. And like the thing that's, you
14:59
know, thing that's so magical about kids is just that pure,
15:03
that purity and like that they love you.
15:05
Like, like it's truly unconditional.
15:09
Unconditional. Love well, and it's so true
15:11
because you think about those celebrity those kids with
15:14
celebrity parents or and they have a whole other different
15:20
issues that they have to deal with.
15:21
But at the end of the day, they could care less what their
15:25
parents do. And we I like think about my
15:27
parents, like I don't I'm not like introducing my parents are
15:30
like I don't tell stories about like my or parents, like jobs or
15:34
what they did. We had dinner or like it's what
15:40
we did as a family. It's not but like as.
15:43
An internal yeah, because as actors and in in this really
15:47
competitive industry, we feel like we need to be proactive.
15:50
We need to have something to show.
15:51
We need to prove ourselves. We need to, you know, like how
15:54
we're perceived and all this. So it's so there that it's like
15:57
you really have to invite yourself, like to calm down on
16:00
that with your within your family and like, you know, the
16:03
only grind so hard and find the space, you know, to just be.
16:08
Well, yeah, because you also want to like we want to show our
16:11
kids that they don't have to be, they don't have to make a
16:16
certain amount of money or they don't have to do something to be
16:20
loved or be special or like, it's just, it's so funny just
16:24
going. To cry the whole episode,
16:26
though, right, This is the crying episode.
16:28
That's also like I'll go to their their they go to such a
16:32
magical school and I would we'll go and they'll have like their,
16:35
you know, all school meetings and they'll talk about different
16:38
things. And I'm like, I'll just sit
16:41
there and be like, this is more for me than for the kids, you
16:43
know, like just the lessons that are taught to them.
16:45
You realize, like these are lessons that like we need to
16:48
remind ourselves as adults and like, you know, and like, just
16:52
like following your joy and the importance of like connecting
16:56
and and I don't know, just things that I feel like it's
17:02
easy to get detoured. Like I said, that's been my life
17:05
of yo yoing with acting. I detour because of all the
17:08
shoulds, but it's like, no, this is what feels really resonant to
17:13
my soul, you know? And, and, and whenever people
17:16
are in that space, kind of like, that's the magical space really
17:21
on some levels. Yeah, and you can tell when
17:24
people are doing the thing that brings them joy.
17:28
Yeah, and we're always. Teaching kids that, like, do
17:31
what you love and, you know, it's like, so you just hope
17:34
you're good at it. Yeah, exactly.
17:37
Yeah. So you put out so much content
17:41
like you're such a great content creator and like have so many
17:44
like great things that you're sharing.
17:48
When did you kind of start putting that out there?
17:55
And then also, I guess it's a separate question or maybe it's
17:59
similar when you started your the like on camera confidence
18:04
coaching, which is so interesting.
18:08
Yeah, I love that where you're like, it's a thing.
18:11
It is. Yeah, I know it's.
18:12
Kind of. Yeah, it definitely is.
18:14
So the first, the answer to the first question is interesting
18:18
because I was talking to a friend of mine who, you know,
18:21
she used to pursue acting before too.
18:23
She kind of side sidewinded to some other crew.
18:25
But I I was telling her like, I don't know, it's so frustrating.
18:29
I don't know how to put myself out there because I want to be
18:32
an actor. But like they say, you know, you
18:34
don't want to just be like, I'm not, I'm not to put stuff about
18:37
like your real life and like, so that's mom stuff.
18:40
But at the same time, I don't want to just be like looking
18:42
like just a mom, you know, publicly.
18:45
So how do I balance that and try to be perceived also as an
18:49
actual actor? And she was like, well, what if
18:53
that's your thing? Like, you know, and I, I don't
18:55
know if you know Dallas Travers, but Dallas Travers used to be a
18:58
coach, like a marketing coach for actors back in the day.
19:01
She's now she's now a coach for coaches and she's amazing.
19:04
But she she used to say make the problem the solution.
19:07
And I was like, I just heard her voice echo in my head with make
19:10
the problem the solution. I was like, Oh, that's it.
19:12
Like what if that's the lens through which, and I always had
19:15
a harder time managing my own social media than when I would
19:18
do social media for show or projects that I was involved
19:21
with, because I always feel like, Oh, just speaking through
19:24
the lens of that shows POV. So if it's like a dark comedy, I
19:27
just kind of have like a dark twist on whatever I'm saying.
19:30
So it's like, this is a fun way. And she was.
19:32
So with her, I came up with this kind of idea of trying to walk
19:36
the red carpet. But I've got Cheerios in my
19:38
hair. So yeah, I wasn't just doing
19:40
just, you know, there's so much mom influencers in Mom 'cause.
19:43
I was. Trying to sort of filter it a
19:45
little more specifically through that lens for myself.
19:48
And then I started having more fun with it.
19:51
And that's where the sort of content creation side of me kind
19:55
of, you know what? Yeah, I don't know, evolved and
19:59
as far as the on camera coaching, I had always been on a
20:03
mission and just could not figure out what to do as a
20:07
parallel career to acting because like we were saying,
20:10
it's just so inconsistent. It was like, what can I do as a
20:13
parallel career where I can have consistent income but also feel
20:16
proud of myself because before kids I was cocktail waitressing
20:19
and I didn't I I mean, props to everyone.
20:21
I don't think people should feel proud of themselves as but I was
20:24
just not feeling like. That was totally good, yeah.
20:29
Like I was just doing it for the paycheck and nothing else,
20:31
right? Not because it's like, this is
20:32
something I'm so excited about. So I've just been spinning on
20:37
what to do for the longest time. And then I kind of actually had
20:41
a friend who started who I saw was doing some similar idea.
20:44
But I realized that entrepreneurs, so now these
20:48
days, like everyone needs to be on camera and basically like be
20:52
an actor to some degree because every like every business,
20:55
social media is such a thing. And video marketing is like the
20:59
biggest form of marketing. Yeah.
21:00
I think because actors make it look so easy, a lot of
21:03
entrepreneurs kind of think it's just easy and find it's really
21:06
not. And I noticed like they're, they
21:08
have, you know, frustrations with either not being, not
21:12
feeling natural on camera or sometimes there's just a lack of
21:15
understanding with storytelling, like how to, you know, talk
21:18
about your business in a compelling way that's actually
21:21
enticing. I was like, I wonder if there's
21:24
a way for me to bridge my acting to this because that feels like
21:27
very close and more aligned and not like something that I'm just
21:30
doing something completely random else.
21:33
And I started just experimenting with it and everyone I worked
21:35
with, like it was really working.
21:37
And so okay, this is the thing. So I've started sort of growing
21:41
that as a parallel business as well.
21:44
Do you find then that you work with more people for the on
21:48
camera confidence that are that are not in the industry?
21:53
100% And I try to make it clear in my marketing and maybe I
21:56
should make it more clear since you asked me that, but I very
21:58
much am targeting non actors, non not well, it doesn't have to
22:03
be non industry, but non actors. Like, yeah.
22:05
For one, since I've been an actor for so long and people are
22:09
always trying to make money off of actors in all the different
22:12
ways they can reels headshots, you know, like, like figure out
22:16
your brand, like every single angle that you can.
22:19
And so I just was energetically not interested in trying to make
22:22
money off of actors. And strategically it was like,
22:24
where can like actors are always broke.
22:27
It seems like those actors that people are trying to make money
22:29
off of, where can they go where people have money to spend and
22:32
see the value in this and businesses.
22:35
They it's factual that there's value in video marketing.
22:38
And if they have a gap there, then let me help them fix that
22:42
gap and let them feel good about spending that money on it.
22:46
Yeah, I mean, that's, yeah, that's definitely smart.
22:49
And especially like you said, with with all the content and
22:54
the way the like everything's being sold and just like
22:59
everyone kind of needs to be. Oh yeah, to at least like feel
23:05
comfortable speaking to a camera or being in front of a camera in
23:11
some capacity. So that's great that you.
23:14
How long has that been? It's still fairly fresh, I would
23:19
say a year and a half. Okay, yeah.
23:23
That's awesome, though. I think that's such a great
23:25
idea. Yeah.
23:27
I mean people. People buy from people they know
23:29
like and trust. And the fastest way to make that
23:31
happen is through video because it's the closest to being in
23:34
person. We know businesses are always,
23:37
you know, paying to go meet in person.
23:39
That's always like the most effective way over the versus
23:42
over the phone versus over the e-mail.
23:43
So it's the, it's the fastest way to accomplish that.
23:46
And so yeah, there's there's really good value.
23:50
Yeah, I would say. So my other train of thought was
23:54
especially now I feel like some people are saying with AII won't
23:58
get us started too much down this path.
24:00
But but hopefully, even if that becomes like a thing to the
24:05
degree that some people fear, you know, that there might be a
24:07
time where people will want to know and mark like, is this AI
24:11
or is this the actual person? Because especially with service
24:13
providers, people want to know what you're actually like before
24:16
they decide to work with you because so much of it is your
24:19
vibe and your energy and how that you know how that syncs up
24:23
with people and like what resonates for them.
24:26
So even with AII think it'll be like people still want to know
24:30
is this AI or is this the real person?
24:32
If I'm investing in the real person, you know?
24:34
Yeah. And it's just a need, like
24:36
almost a greater need for transparency then, you know, I
24:41
would hope so. So I hope so too, because
24:43
otherwise this whole finally figured out my parallel business
24:47
idea will just crash and burn. So let's.
24:49
Hope that might be No, I think I mean, yeah, yeah, that's a whole
24:55
conversation I love but but I mean, I think I think especially
25:04
with like the cost of AI and things like that, that real
25:09
people will need need it for a long time.
25:11
It's not going to I think I think you'll be safe.
25:14
I think so. I think you'll be great.
25:18
OK, so so that is kind of like your side hustle day job thing
25:26
and and you were waitressing before having your kids.
25:31
So how did that what other like day jobs and things that have
25:37
you done to kind of like we always hear you, you have kids,
25:42
you'll just make it work. Like how but how actually, but
25:47
how actually did you make it work?
25:49
Because I had the same thing where before I had my kid, I was
25:53
babysitting and I felt like you were like, I'm good at it and
25:56
I'm fine. And it's a way to make money.
25:58
And, and I still do it a little bit just with people I'm close
26:02
with. But but yeah, there was like, I
26:06
don't want to do this when I'm a parent.
26:10
Not that there's any, any shame or any of that.
26:15
I was just like, I need to save my patience for my child, my own
26:19
child. But was there.
26:23
Well now I'm asking 5 different questions but but so since your
26:29
since this new newish endeavour was like a year and a half, what
26:36
What were you doing before that? Or were you able to rely on your
26:40
partner or how? Honestly, I was super lucky and
26:43
I'll forever be grateful to him that I I was able to because we
26:48
didn't actually discuss that in anything else.
26:50
We didn't really figure out like how that's going to play out.
26:54
Yeah, I just was like, continue to be at home until I was like,
27:02
until he's like, you need to go back, you know, and, and I
27:05
really didn't want to go back to the cocktail.
27:08
And so I was like, so that I was already starting to spin on.
27:11
I I knew that it's not like, oh, I'm retired, I'm done.
27:13
Like I'm going to have to go back to making money.
27:16
So I, I was, I have been spinning on it.
27:20
And really I guess there was a blessing in disguise with him
27:24
having like a work transitional situation that had some
27:28
financial repercussions that were worrisome where where it
27:33
was voice that it came in time now that.
27:36
You need to figure. Something else for you to bring
27:38
somebody to? Well, that's that's always an
27:41
interesting thing with when actors like we need something
27:46
reliable or study where pretty much any job is not exactly a
27:53
reliable. I mean, things can always change
27:56
for for people too. But but it sounds like you were
28:00
able then, at least for when your kids were young.
28:04
I was. I mean, not that they're not
28:06
young. I know.
28:06
No, but yeah, those were really be able to just like be at home
28:10
and, you know, whatever odd gig I might have had here and there,
28:14
like, you know, of course, great.
28:16
But I I didn't go back to anything consistent.
28:18
And again, thank goodness that it just panned out that way
28:22
because it wasn't planned. And I don't know how he feels
28:25
about looking at that guy since you didn't plan it either.
28:28
But, you know, we were like, well, we can just, we were just
28:30
about still, you know, making it work.
28:33
So it wasn't like there was this enormous pressure on you to to
28:36
go. Right.
28:37
But did you find that like you're that any of your goals
28:43
changed since having a kid? Like we talked about being like,
28:46
oh, I need to be here in my career before I have kids or I
28:51
want to, these are my big goals. Have any of those, have your
28:56
goals changed? Or if they haven't changed, have
29:00
has your perspective on them changed at all?
29:03
A. 100% I think it's more the perspective like as we were
29:07
saying, you know, I think I'm at least now talk to me in a yard
29:12
single, but at least now in my pursuing the no, not pursuing in
29:19
my doing the acting and the entertainment.
29:24
And also, I should say entertainment because also
29:27
writing is more just rather than being so yo-yo about it because
29:33
the yo-yo comes too from like, oh, I have to pull back if I'm
29:36
not experiencing enough success. And now I'm kind of feeling like
29:40
here I am teaching my kids to just like do what they love.
29:43
Like all the lessons I'm teaching my kids, I'm not really
29:45
doing. So even if I don't have success
29:49
on the level that I would like, you know, I want to just stand
29:54
in my in my, what's the word I'm looking for?
29:59
I don't know what I'm looking for in mom.
30:01
Braiding hair. I can think of it too.
30:03
I was going to say stand in your ground, but that's, yeah, not
30:06
quite. Right, something.
30:07
But you're getting close. But yeah, stand in your
30:10
conviction, walk and talk to talk.
30:12
Like if I'm going to do these things.
30:14
Then I should do these things. So I'm like, OK, then if I'm
30:17
telling themselves to them to put themselves out there, then
30:19
like regardless of what comes to keep putting myself out there.
30:22
And you know, I try to some of my mom reels have been that
30:26
where I'm like where I'll be teaching my kids a lesson and I
30:28
realize like, oh really this lesson like.
30:33
Right. Doesn't it suck that like the
30:37
kids really do just mimic what you do?
30:39
Like, it doesn't matter what you say, they really just see what
30:43
you do and like, damn. Exactly.
30:45
So it's hard. At least be the example, you
30:48
know. Set the example that I want, you
30:50
know, that I believe in, you know, however that pans out and
30:55
a little more releasing of how that pans out, yeah.
30:59
Well, Speaking of writing, yes, let's talk about your new short
31:03
film. So you said you had done one
31:05
what, before your first son? Yes.
31:10
So you've, we've done it before, but obviously this is different.
31:14
You have two kids and it's specifically about postpartum.
31:18
It's called postpartum. So tell us how the idea came to
31:23
be. Yeah, well, it's based on, it's
31:28
a, it's a, the film overall is fiction, but it's based on real
31:31
events. So it's very much rooted in
31:34
truth and reality. And so the way it came to me was
31:39
just that this there was this moment in my postpartum
31:42
experience that just kept sticking with me as like
31:44
something like, I need to express something about this
31:47
needs to be expressed. And that's the only other time I
31:51
had that was with my other film, which was called The Other.
31:54
And it was about sort of the, the internalized racism I
31:59
experienced growing up biracial because being biracial,
32:02
sometimes I'd be Privy to conversations about like,
32:06
because I'm half black halfway and sometimes about, you know,
32:09
people talking about black in a certain ways because they didn't
32:13
know I was because half the time people think I'm Hispanic of
32:15
some sort. Like people don't always know.
32:18
And so it was it. I really had a struggle overall
32:22
with sort of self acceptance and self love and like guilt for any
32:26
level of feeling bad about that because like, I should be proud
32:30
that I'm glad. Like, why am I feeling this way
32:32
and feeling guilt about that? And so doing that film was kind
32:37
of like a way to work through that and express that as well.
32:42
Like, it just kind of came from like a deep part of my soul.
32:45
And this was the only other time I've had something come from the
32:48
deep part of my soul that had to be written.
32:50
And, you know, props to everyone who's a writer and just like
32:53
writes regularly because I I'm like how I wonder if and how I
32:56
can ever get to that point. Because for me, it's just if
32:59
like a real intense inspiration hits, then I feel like I can
33:03
write. But if I don't have that, I
33:04
don't know if like if and how I could maybe maybe once I do it
33:08
enough like I can. But yeah.
33:11
But yeah. So that's kind of how this
33:12
evolved. You know, it was the, the film
33:15
was based on like an, there's an experience that I had where I
33:20
was just, I, I, I had some sleep deprivation levels that were so
33:25
high that I experienced, I like had a hallucination moment that
33:29
was really intense. And, and it just made me kind of
33:34
realize, you know, how much we, how much pressure we have on
33:38
ourselves to do everything. And like we're living in a, a
33:42
place. I mean, we're in California, so
33:44
it's better than other places, but even here compared to the
33:47
rest of the world, like it's not great for how much paid
33:50
maternity leave like we get, you know, there's so much pressures
33:54
around that and really family leave because I.
33:58
Well, as the factors, we don't get anything.
34:00
I mean you can. Get certain things from the
34:03
government and but like not from our work.
34:08
Sykes not giving us. Exactly.
34:10
And I was lucky because for me it like the timing of my
34:14
pregnancy came where the, the quarter of year that it was
34:17
based off of was like one of my commercial that I had was like
34:21
at its highest point. So I had like the maximum
34:23
number. But, but you know, like there's
34:27
just so much pressure with that. Like I, my husband had to go
34:29
back after two weeks and I felt like I had to, well, he should
34:32
be functional at work, so I should, we'll be doing all the
34:37
night wakings, you know, so even that it's like, it's really like
34:41
just families are not supporting enough.
34:44
And so and, and, and what even is postpartum depression or not,
34:49
you know, like there's just a certain level of adjustment
34:52
that's just natural and needed and shouldn't be titled
34:56
anything. It should just be, we just had a
34:59
baby and we need a minute and we need a supported minute, you
35:03
know, and like, and if here, if it's like you need a minute,
35:06
it's like, oh, there's something wrong with you, you know, kind
35:08
of thing. Like if you don't just bounce
35:11
right back and like get back to work.
35:13
It's considered like, why? What's wrong?
35:16
You know? And like, oh, are you having
35:17
trouble? And it's like, no, I had a.
35:21
Exactly. I'm like I said, I'm often my
35:24
mom is from hungry and my husband is from London.
35:27
So they're those parts of the world.
35:30
Experience. Very different.
35:32
Like in Hungary you get months and months of paid maternity
35:36
leave and in the UK too, it's much.
35:38
I don't know exactly what it is, and I know it's significant
35:41
because when I did the research on other parts of the world, I
35:43
was very sadly shocked at just how Just how much everywhere
35:48
else kind of gets. And we're in the very minority
35:51
as as a developed top power. In the world, yeah.
35:55
Who wants us all to have lots of babies but doesn't want to help
35:59
anybody? Have a baby, but this doesn't
36:02
warrant us giving you any days off like take care of it, handle
36:06
yourself. And we're not going to
36:08
structurally like support that so.
36:10
God. It just, it feels really, it
36:13
felt really important to me on the, you know, just making a
36:16
making my own small difference in the world through expressing
36:20
my experience of, of that. Where kind of it was like the
36:25
intersection of, you know, maternal mental health and like
36:29
potentially like some postpartum, you know, actual
36:33
struggles mixing with just the state of, you know, maternity
36:40
leave and family leave being what it is and the pressures,
36:42
the financial pressures of that and how that how that influences
36:46
the experience of raising, raising kids in those early
36:49
days. And even without that, it's so,
36:52
you know, it's so stressful. Like we're saying, especially
36:53
that first kid, it's like such a intense experience to be like,
36:57
Oh my God, I'm taking care of this kid.
36:59
Like what's gonna happen? Yeah.
37:01
Yeah, and you're definitely less chill with the first than the
37:04
second. So it's like.
37:05
You're. But then the second is a whole
37:07
different human. They most likely are not.
37:11
Well, then the second year support for that reason, because
37:14
you're also juggling a, you know, a toddler alongside the
37:18
intensity of. I know that makes me like, I've
37:23
been so back and forth about another one.
37:25
I'm driving myself crazy. I imagine I'm driving everyone
37:29
crazy with it, but like, but yeah, it's so like it's not just
37:35
like having a another one, it's you're adding to it and there's,
37:40
I mean obviously so many good things about it, but then having
37:46
a newborn and another human, like I can't, I imagine it's.
37:52
Honestly, I couldn't imagine doing.
37:53
A movie. Well, the only way, the only way
37:56
I went into my second one because I was so scared of that
38:01
was asking my mom, like, if I did this, would you be willing
38:04
to come and like live here for the first year of that?
38:08
And so she actually lived in my house the first year of, of life
38:12
for my, my second one, which just gave me so much comfort.
38:16
And it's so lucky and fortunate and privileged that I was able
38:18
to do have that happen because and then I, you know, I, I was
38:22
able to actually catch a nap here and there.
38:25
Like she, she was entertaining my, my older one while I was
38:29
like, OK, I'm just going to sleep with the baby kind of
38:31
thing without the guilt that like the older ones being
38:33
ignored because OK, there's always some human, either my
38:36
husband or my mom, because my husband was working from home,
38:38
which was nice. You know, with COVID that's
38:41
changed him, you know, brought him home.
38:44
So there was always an adult available for.
38:46
Him. Yeah.
38:47
Well, that's good, yeah. So how did you like.
38:50
Oh my gosh. I mean, I feel like I can barely
38:55
put a sentence together, let alone write a short film and
39:01
like, get it made and do all the things.
39:04
And now it's like, you know. I, I feel the same way.
39:09
I might do that. Had a mild panic attack when I
39:12
suggested that I'm even trying to do this.
39:15
But somewhere in my heart of hearts, and that's part of why I
39:17
want to come on here too, is I just feel like this is such a
39:20
story for moms and families. And it's so important.
39:25
And it feels like it's really one that, like, has the power to
39:29
rally that community. And so I'm like, you know, yeah,
39:33
how am I going to do this? Like lift this kind of alone and
39:38
I'm like, I need to really not. I need to really like connect
39:42
with as many moms as I can and just spread the word like have
39:47
moms help me, you know, fan this flame because we all relate to
39:51
this flame. Like this flame is real for all
39:53
of us on whatever level you're on.
39:55
Like like you said, even if you have a job that gives you, you
39:58
know, paid leave, like usually that's.
40:01
Maybe 8 weeks. It's still, it's still in the
40:03
scheme of things, not enough. It's just not enough.
40:07
And I think we all feel like passionate about that.
40:09
Like all the moms, I think like, I think if you ask any mom, like
40:13
could you use more support? Could you use more money?
40:16
Yeah. Would you like that?
40:17
Like the answer would be, oh, yeah.
40:19
So I think if I can just really get the word out and have people
40:24
really, you know, talk about it and spread the word, like it's
40:27
just really going to help amplify the story and help me
40:29
get it made. And like, and I really have big
40:32
wishes and dreams for the social impact of it.
40:35
Like I, I, you know, I, I really have the vision of it going to
40:39
some great festivals and hopefully sparking just like
40:42
national conversation that sparks actual change.
40:46
Because I think when people, you know, they say you move hearts,
40:49
you move wallets and like, you know, hearts change policy
40:52
changes. I really hope you know that this
40:55
is my way of being part of that movement and that conversation
40:59
to change things because this is not the way it should be.
41:02
This is not the way it is elsewhere.
41:03
No. And we deserve more, you know,
41:05
we deserve more. And it would just make all of
41:08
our lives so like life is hard enough.
41:10
It would make life so much easier if we could just.
41:14
Improve. Our policy on on that.
41:17
Yeah, well, hopefully all of the moms rally around you and we can
41:22
lift up this film because it's definitely, I agree.
41:25
It's definitely a story that like needs to be told and needs
41:28
to be shared and talked about, like the topic just talked about
41:32
more and then hopefully change things at some capacity.
41:37
And I, I found, I don't know that I, I find that obviously we
41:41
always hear about like women supporting women, but I feel
41:45
like since becoming a mom, like it's so easy to talk to other
41:51
moms about being a mom. I found that like, I don't, I
41:56
guess I thought of it before having a kid, but then after I
41:59
was like, how are I was like to my sister or to like people that
42:04
I knew were moms already. I was like, how have you talked
42:08
about anything else since you've become Yeah, I was like, how do
42:14
you not walk into a room and be like, I have created life, yes.
42:18
And did it with no support. Yes, all of these things, it's
42:24
just such a big life change that we've all gone through.
42:28
So I feel like there's, like you said, some inherent bonding that
42:31
just happens anytime you wanted to another mom.
42:33
And we all go through so much of the same turmoils, like dramas
42:37
around food. Anytime I post a food related,
42:39
like real, just all the love and all the chime in because like we
42:43
all are, you know, we've all been there.
42:46
Yeah, multiple times a day. Yeah, right.
42:49
Yeah, it's, I mean, moms can or, or like through pregnancy,
42:55
through, you know, infertility stuff.
43:00
Like there's so many things that I mean, I mean, obviously
43:05
there's so many things outside of child rearing that all women
43:10
can relate to, but specifically that since this is mommy, what
43:16
Like I feel like every woman who has gone through the journey of
43:22
trying to start a family can relate to so many things.
43:28
Even if it's not like, even if like, say I even if it's like
43:33
you didn't have postpartum depression or anxiety, like you
43:37
had some, you had postpartum, you are postpartum.
43:40
Like you've done it and you've dealt with, you know, food
43:44
things or whatever. Even the woman that's like
43:48
everything's been perfect. You still nothing's perfect.
43:53
Exactly. So you've dealt with something
43:55
exactly. Yeah, I mean, I think, Oh my
43:59
gosh, I'm operating again. I lost my train of thought.
44:01
You said something that made me think of something, but.
44:05
I do that all the time. It's like when you walk into a
44:08
room and you're like, why did I come in here?
44:11
And then you have to like. The number of times that's
44:13
happened to me, but no, I think it was, I was, I had some
44:16
thought along the lines of like there's just a, there's oh, that
44:20
I think once, at least in my experience.
44:22
And I kind of think this is probably true for most because
44:25
my husband says the same thing too.
44:26
But once you kind of once you move into becoming a parent,
44:29
you're just like cracked open in a new way.
44:31
Like you just are. So I'm so much more sensitive
44:35
and emotional to like anything and any story about, like you
44:38
said, anything relating to any, like someone going through
44:41
infertility, someone going through like a sick kid, like I
44:45
just everything like moves me and my, my empathy levels are so
44:50
high. And so I just, yeah, I feel like
44:53
we're all, we all just become even more connected maybe after
44:57
having children, because it just really like changes.
45:00
Well, and as actors, we're already pretty up.
45:02
There, I just need, I just need to be more sensitive.
45:05
I was already pretty highly emotional, but.
45:09
Oh my gosh, me too. Yeah, I feel you.
45:11
OK, so how can we help support this film?
45:16
Yes, I don't have the the the website.
45:20
Well, I will. Share it No, no.
45:22
You'll you'll put it in the links, but right now.
45:24
We're stop driving, write it down exactly.
45:27
No, I will share it. So I have a a site where I share
45:31
more about the film and we're actively raising funds to make
45:35
it. So we're raising 30K to make it
45:39
and I the way you can support it is, you know, condonating if you
45:44
can and, and, but also spreading the word because honestly, 30K
45:50
is not a big number in the big wide world of the Internet.
45:53
If this really spreads all kinds of ways and all the moms like
45:56
throw in their coffee for, you know, the week or, you know, I
45:59
mean, I, I know, I don't know, I just, I really, I really feel
46:03
like it has this power for grass roots.
46:05
But also I'm, I'm currently looking to for, you know, people
46:10
who are people who are just really aligned with this topic
46:14
and like passionately aligned with it, like philanthropists or
46:18
you know, or advocacy groups or any even brands and stuff that
46:22
are just aligned with this as an important mission to partner up
46:25
and see the different ways, whether financially or just, you
46:28
know, like I said, amplifying the message and sharing it
46:31
otherwise to. Freedom, freedom, Mom, we're
46:33
looking at you. On my list until the child to
46:37
stuff anyone knows freedom all or has a contact?
46:39
There, Oh my gosh. Well, the the stuff that they've
46:42
been sharing, especially recently with postpartum stuff,
46:45
I mean, obviously they're a huge company.
46:47
So like, yeah, yeah, shout out to Freda.
46:50
Come on. I know.
46:52
Come on, Freda, we'll. See, I've started having some
46:55
pretty exciting conversations. So I'm, you know, cautiously
46:58
optimistic, but I really think and would love for it to be a
47:03
combined effort of grassroots and and hopefully some people in
47:06
places of resourcefulness that feel passionate about this to
47:10
come together and help people find a story and get it made and
47:14
get this conversation like more out there.
47:17
And, and also just mom, moms make, you know, like moms in
47:20
Hollywood again, mom's mom's stories.
47:23
Like there should be more stories from moms about moms.
47:26
There's so many moms out there. There should be more content
47:29
about that. Yeah.
47:30
And I'm really, I'm really hoping to enlist as many mom
47:35
creatives to in the film as I can because I would love kind of
47:39
that sort of vibe to be alive in that sense.
47:43
Well, well, we will share and hopefully our all of our mommy
47:47
would people will share as much as possible and get the word out
47:50
there. And then my final question that
47:53
I like to ask is what is your lifesaver at the moment?
47:57
What is just getting what? What's getting you through
47:59
today? Oh, my lifesaver.
48:02
Oh, I mean, I feel like every mom says this, but I mean it
48:05
really. It's coffee.
48:06
Yeah. Right.
48:08
I recently was told like I went for some skin assessment thing
48:11
and that like my skin is too dry and like maybe I should, you
48:14
know, things like coffee dehydrate you.
48:17
And so I tried to eliminate and then I was like, screw that.
48:21
This is my lifeline. I'm back.
48:23
I'm back to coffee. I do try to I'll.
48:25
Take dry skin over a lack of joy.
48:27
Exactly. In my life, although I do love
48:29
myself a nice matcha green tea latte as well, which is less
48:33
offensive on the dehydrating front, it's still very
48:35
comforting so. Well, there you go.
48:37
Amazing. I love it.
48:39
Well, thank you so much. Thank you.
48:41
So much for having me and I feel like, like you, like you said,
48:45
you already have like the bonds of the that vibe.
48:48
So I, I feel like I've known you before I even met you.
48:51
It was so. Fun chatting.
48:55
And that's our episode. Thank you so much for listening
48:58
and being a part of Mommy Wood. I am so, so happy to have you
49:02
here. A huge thank you to my dear
49:04
friend and amazing producer Cecilia Trip with Laurel Canyon
49:08
Creative and a big thank you to Edith Mudge for our theme music.
49:13
If you could please make sure that you like, follow, subscribe
49:17
wherever it is you get your podcasts as well as leave a
49:20
review, which is a wonderful way to support Mommy wood.
49:25
Please make sure you also follow us on social media, Instagram
49:29
and TikTok at Mommy Wood Podcast and thank you again for
49:33
listening. Take care.