Latest / State Of Mind Mental Health Podcast / #126 - How We Can Build Deeper Connections In A Lonely World with Relationship Coach Andre Paradis

Transcript

#126 - How We Can Build Deeper Connections In A Lonely World with Relationship Coach Andre Paradis · State Of Mind Mental Health Podcast

• 0:00
  if you want to be happy, if you want to build a life with somebody,
• 0:02
  which by the way,
• 0:04
  a lot of statistics on this, both for both men and women,
• 0:06
  the quality of our lives is directly correlated to the quality of our relationships.
• 0:10
  Not your career, not your money,
• 0:11
  not your car, not your house, your the quality of relationship.
• 0:14
  Hello everybody, welcome to the State of Mind Podcast Tools,
• 0:19
  Stories and Truth on Being Human.
• 0:22
  My name is Mike Stroh, and this is a podcast for living with courage,
• 0:26
  clarity, and compassion. On today's episode,
• 0:31
  I am speaking with Andre Peredi.
• 0:35
  So my name is Henri Perdy, I'm in Los Angeles.
• 0:37
  I'm a relationship coach. This whole thing started straight up out of my own life,
• 0:43
  my childhood. Kind of a crazy family set up.
• 0:47
  I actually believed that I was not supposed to be here.
• 0:50
  So it's kind of a story here, but like I was five years old I realized I
• 0:54
  was born in the wrong family. Like these are not my people,
• 0:56
  I don't belong here.
• 0:58
  So I found out throughout the years,
• 1:00
  how that got to be. ~ but it became I became ~ in that realization
• 1:06
  at five years old, became the guy who started watching the world and people just
• 1:09
  out of like understanding how this is possible.
• 1:12
  So I've been observing people,
• 1:14
  I've been watching people, studying people since then really.
• 1:16
  So that's how we got to be here,
• 1:18
  out of my own experience and trying to figure out what what is so wrong here.
• 1:24
  Right. So
• 1:26
  Voila.
• 1:26
  Hm.
• 1:27
  And where are you from originally?
• 1:30
  I'm f born in Quebec City, Canada.
• 1:32
  So I'm French Canadian.
• 1:34
  Okay, I could tell. I'm I'm from Toronto.
• 1:36
  I lived in Montreal for four years.
• 1:37
  Yeah, I went to school in Montreal.
• 1:38
  But of course, I don't talk like that though.
• 1:41
  Like that in the French Canadian talk like that.
• 1:41
  Yeah, yeah. How how long have
• 1:44
  That thing there.
• 1:47
  you been in the America for?
• 1:49
  I've been in the United States much longer than I was in Canada,
• 1:51
  so I identify as American.
• 1:53
  Yep.
• 1:53
  amazing. Okay, so you start realizing these things.
• 1:57
  What what prior to us recording,
• 2:01
  or maybe it was, I can't remember,
• 2:03
  prior to our introduction, we talked about this idea of trying to understand
• 2:07
  our own madness or our own realities.
• 2:10
  Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
• 2:11
  Can you tell us
• 2:13
  how did you in in
• 2:15
  Embark on that journey and and what did you learn along the way?
• 2:19
  Well, like I said, my circumstances is you know,
• 2:21
  turned out I found out that I was an accident and so and my mother
• 2:25
  was puking for the nine months she had every one of us,
• 2:29
  so she hated being pregnant. She was miserable.
• 2:31
  And circumstances that were bringing the house,
• 2:33
  they were building the house that I was born in,
• 2:36
  at the time of when she got pregnant.
• 2:39
  And as my wi my mom is this little machine,
• 2:41
  like she's one of she's the type to be on the roof with a hammer
• 2:44
  and just helping roofing.
• 2:46
  I mean, she tiled the bathroom like she's one of those.
• 2:48
  But you can't really do this if you're puking every ten minutes.
• 2:51
  So the Catholic family, right?
• 2:53
  So e every every child was planned every three years.
• 2:56
  So I don't know if they got drunk one night,
• 2:57
  but I came in two years into the whole debacle and it was the wrong timing
• 3:02
  and she was puking and the house belt and she hated being pregnant with me,
• 3:06
  which I internalized literally I can't I was born with you know,
• 3:10
  she hates me and I'm not supposed to be here.
• 3:13
  Now this was more a feeling than a thought until five years old when I'm like,
• 3:16
  ~ I don't belong
• 3:16
  Yeah, yeah.
• 3:17
  right. So that's how it started.
• 3:19
  So like I said, it got me turned inside out.
• 3:21
  My radar came outwards, started watching the world,
• 3:23
  people, like, how is this possible?
• 3:25
  What the hell's going on here?
• 3:26
  Why am I here? Why am I here? Why am I here?
• 3:28
  This if there's a mistake, you know.
• 3:31
  And so that kind of carried me through I was a miserable kid.
• 3:34
  I was just a sad little kid and a sad a teenager.
• 3:37
  But at twenty three years old I started doing personal development.
• 3:41
  I was fortunate enough to find interpret on the right people who like like
• 3:44
  are you okay? Yeah, no, no,
• 3:47
  no, like sit looking in my eyes and like complete strangers by the way.
• 3:51
  My family never did that, but complete strangers came to my rescue,
• 3:54
  literally. Anyway, twenty three years old,
• 3:56
  first personal development weekend.
• 3:57
  Whew cracked me open, and release a lot of pain,
• 4:02
  release a lot of you know, but that was the beginning of me finding myself.
• 4:06
  So I have been doing personal development like a like
• 4:09
  neurotically since then. And ~ that's how it got me all the way to here
• 4:14
  as a relationship ~ coach. because first it was trying to figure out why I'm here,
• 4:19
  if I'm actually here, see if I could do something with being here,
• 4:22
  right? And the COVID dismantled all this and,
• 4:25
  wh what am I built for? What am I good at?
• 4:28
  and so I discovered that I could dance in high school,
• 4:32
  which is interesting. I went to a fancy
• 4:35
  private high school where could do ~ ballroom dancing for PE.
• 4:38
  So at sixteen years old I ended up in the arms of a young girl who'd asked
• 4:44
  me to join her because he had to sign up as a couple.
• 4:46
  And all I could tell you is I know nothing.
• 4:49
  I'm a dork. I'm invisible and like nobody knows I exist,
• 4:51
  right? I'm the guy who's blending in everywhere,
• 4:53
  'cause I'm a watcher. And I remember holding her in my arms,
• 4:57
  watching the teacher on my right,
• 4:59
  and everything he did it was very I could just do it like it was crazy.
• 5:02
  Like it was instant. Like
• 5:04
  You just I was just reminded of it?
• 5:06
  I don't know how else to explain it.
• 5:07
  So I went from invisible geek to an informants class star,
• 5:13
  student helper, I mean t teacher helper,
• 5:15
  teacher's helper, right? And all the girls wanted to dance with me 'cause
• 5:19
  I'm the only one who
• 5:19
  Yeah.
• 5:20
  got it, out of all the guys,
• 5:21
  do you know what I mean? Like live from invisible to star.
• 5:24
  And then we start performing in school,
• 5:26
  we start performing every quarter,
• 5:27
  like on s you know, in the auditorium kind
• 5:29
  Yeah.
• 5:29
  of thing.
• 5:30
  started a frenzy, everybody wanna jump into that program.
• 5:33
  Anyway, so interesting, the first time I realized I had something like
• 5:39
  I had a talent that I I didn't know I had and we don't know where it came from.
• 5:43
  ~ it was just in there. and that literally kinda saved my life 'cause that
• 5:48
  I think I smile for the first time in my life in that class.
• 5:51
  Like when you when you
• 5:53
  And understanding energy and vibrations and frequencies and all that stuff
• 5:57
  now from this place, but at the time it was just what I experienced is like when
• 6:01
  you move to music, the vibration and the frequency of the body along with
• 6:06
  the frequency like in rhythm and timing,
• 6:08
  it moves the soul. It it moves the
• 6:10
  Mm-hmm.
• 6:10
  heart. It moves like it just I and I remember like kind of I think I smiled
• 6:14
  for the first time in my life tonight,
• 6:16
  like like my god
• 6:19
  Yeah.
• 6:20
  Life. Like I could feel life. I could feel myself come to life.
• 6:23
  It was crazy, right? And so I made out a career.
• 6:26
  I literally made out a career.
• 6:27
  I was gonna be an architect at my 'cause I was raised that way,
• 6:32
  you have to go to school.
• 6:33
  Yeah.
• 6:33
  But since I got I got away from my family as soon as I finished college.
• 6:37
  but I did all I did is through college stands.
• 6:39
  I screwed up all my grades because I didn't care about anything else.
• 6:42
  Like literally this kept me like it just made me want to get up in
• 6:45
  the morning as opposed to not.
• 6:48
  So I moved to the West Coast at nineteen and I ended up in a jazz class.
• 6:52
  There was no borrowing the West Coast.
• 6:54
  I ended up in a jazz class. Within three months I get a scholarship.
• 6:57
  What? You don't know nothing about three months of jazz dancing.
• 7:00
  And a scholarship, scholarship,
• 7:02
  scholarship, scholarship. It took me all the way to Los Angeles and
• 7:05
  I danced with Michael Jackson.
• 7:06
  I danced with Prince. I danced with Paul Abdul for two years.
• 7:09
  We do Glazius. So that silly
• 7:13
  class kinda opened a channel
• 7:14
  Mm-hmm.
• 7:15
  and they literally so dancing for fifteen plus years literally saved my life.
• 7:21
  It brought me back to life. Chemically kinda changed my it healed my brain.
• 7:26
  You know what I mean? 'Cause being miserable,
• 7:27
  I do.
• 7:28
  being depressed kinda kills the spirit,
• 7:31
  right? This kinda it lift every class,
• 7:33
  every time. Lift lift and I went from being miserable to,
• 7:36
  you know, this is all right. I could maybe just stick around for
• 7:39
  a little longer 'cause I didn't think I was gonna be around very longer.
• 7:42
  Very much it was it was
• 7:44
  Mm-hmm.
• 7:44
  pointless. Then he went into like,
• 7:46
  well this is okay. I could you know,
• 7:48
  yeah, that's all right. To like,
• 7:49
  well, you know, this is kinda okay and kinda pretty good and you know,
• 7:53
  like I like the attention with a girl and I like all the girls and like,
• 7:57
  okay, well this is you know like you know what I mean?
• 7:59
  And to
• 7:59
  Mm-hmm.
• 8:00
  literally into literally like thinking actually maybe I could be happy.
• 8:04
  Maybe I could make this
• 8:05
  Hmm.
• 8:05
  work, maybe maybe I could find my way and then all the way up to
• 8:10
  Yeah, to the top of the pile for
• 8:11
  Yeah, yeah.
• 8:12
  for yeah, that was kinda that was a the wild wild story,
• 8:16
  wild adventure.
• 8:17
  I bet. I bet my dad used to compete in ballroom and tango,
• 8:22
  Mm. Yeah.
• 8:22
  ~ Argentinian tango. So I'm pretty familiar with that world.
• 8:25
  Wow. That's
• 8:26
  Yeah.
• 8:28
  interesting. We're just you know,
• 8:29
  I'm doing I do we s my wife and I married like thirty years.
• 8:32
  We do tango every Sunday. I was just
• 8:34
  No way. Yeah.
• 8:35
  tango every Sunday. That's how we connect,
• 8:37
  that's how we met. She was one of my students.
• 8:39
  Oops. You know. Right? And to this
• 8:40
  Wow, wow.
• 8:42
  day, this is how it's just you know the kids know,
• 8:44
  like, you know, ~ Sunday afternoon,
• 8:46
  mom and dad time, we go tango dancing and then we have we have we and we
• 8:49
  Peter F.
• 8:50
  go on a date. We reconnect.
• 8:52
  That way once a week.
• 8:54
  Yeah, that's lovely. Okay. Can you explain to us how you ~
• 8:59
  Mm.
• 8:59
  transitioned, I guess, from the dancing career into
• 9:01
  Ha ha.
• 9:02
  the coaching and into the all this the kind of work you're doing in in psychology?
• 9:06
  Sure, so like
• 9:08
  I said I traveled the world, that's what I did.
• 9:10
  My wife was I met my wife a few years into being in Los Angeles.
• 9:15
  Actually pretty much right after I got off the road.
• 9:17
  I was in North for Year and a half with the a a touring company.
• 9:20
  And I cut when I got to LA I was teaching and I was ready to find the one.
• 9:27
  And and so I when she came into my class one day and I was like,
• 9:31
  there she is. That's it. That's the war that's the woman.
• 9:32
  So ~
• 9:33
  Like in like I knew in two minutes.
• 9:34
  It was kind of crazy. Like, and I don't know how to explain that.
• 9:37
  It's just there she is. Like there was a certainty.
• 9:40
  I knew she was coming. I don't know how I knew this,
• 9:42
  but I knew she was coming. I knew I was gonna find her.
• 9:44
  I knew she was out there. She was just we just need to find each other.
• 9:47
  And that day that was it. But as we she was a professional ballerina,
• 9:51
  she moved to Los Angeles to
• 9:54
  like kind of opened her the fields for her,
• 9:56
  right? And and and there's a there's a lot there's no ballet world here,
• 10:00
  but there's also there's still higher a lot of ballet for productions
• 10:03
  and video movies and kinda kind of stuff.
• 10:05
  So she was here to explore that.
• 10:06
  Anyway, so as we came together,
• 10:09
  we were both traveling the world,
• 10:11
  and so at one point, you know,
• 10:13
  I I mean I was in Thailand for four months doing a production
• 10:17
  and choreographing a concert for their
• 10:19
  pop starred it was in Japan a bunch of times and after a while
• 10:21
  it sounds glamorous but it got old.
• 10:23
  It got old. And I guess we've been together a few years and I wanted it's funny,
• 10:28
  I in a dream one night I dreamt my kids.
• 10:31
  Both of them. My kids picture I close my eyes and picture it's gonna make me cry.
• 10:35
  Mm.
• 10:36
  ~ but like we're standing by a lake holding their hands.
• 10:39
  My daughter's a toddler, my son's like two and a half,
• 10:42
  little blond hair, right? And it was so visceral,
• 10:45
  right? So I woke up with ~ god,
• 10:47
  like we have two kids coming through like but she's a ballerino,
• 10:51
  right? She was like, hold on, hold on,
• 10:53
  right? Like ruin her career, ruin her body,
• 10:55
  maybe. So anyway, so it took a couple of years.
• 10:58
  Mm-hmm.
• 10:59
  but when she got pregnant, I was not again my
• 11:02
  childhood like no daddy mom didn't like me right that kind of stuff so I want
• 11:08
  to be present with my kids as they came up as they were grew up.
• 11:13
  I want to be present. So get this I went from traveling the world dancing,
• 11:17
  choreographing, blah blah blah.
• 11:19
  I and then I I switching gear,
• 11:23
  I called it phase two of my life,
• 11:25
  I opened an auto body shop in Los Angeles.
• 11:27
  I'm a car maniac
• 11:28
  Yeah.
• 11:28
  Right.
• 11:29
  I love cars and Los Angeles old cars.
• 11:31
  We restore cars. I have six cars.
• 11:33
  I have eight cars actually. Whatever.
• 11:35
  My point is I I I like classics,
• 11:37
  right? I we I wanna save them.
• 11:39
  These things don't exist anymore.
• 11:40
  They're not gonna make them again.
• 11:41
  We're not gonna be restoring the cars that we're making nowadays,
• 11:44
  right? Like so that was a f a passion of mine.
• 11:46
  so the body shop sounds ridiculous,
• 11:48
  but that was something I did my whole life on some level.
• 11:50
  So open a shop and now I'm grounded in Los Angeles.
• 11:53
  I'm not traveling.
• 11:55
  away from for work, I'm in Los Angeles and told my agent if it's not if I'll dance,
• 12:00
  I'll do jobs in L L A, but if it does if it leaves the city I'm not going.
• 12:04
  And she's like, Are you crazy?
• 12:05
  I'm like, No.
• 12:06
  Yeah.
• 12:07
  It's phase two of my life. Anyway,
• 12:08
  so I was very proud to get this.
• 12:10
  This is impossible. My shop was six minutes from my house in Los Angeles.
• 12:15
  It's you know you understand like that's not people travel f an hour both ways,
• 12:18
  Right, right, right.
• 12:19
  right? Forty five minutes, whatever.
• 12:21
  Six minutes from my house and the school was two blocks away.
• 12:24
  So me and my wife, both of us,
• 12:26
  this was important for me. I w were at every recital,
• 12:28
  every parade, every whatever special event,
• 12:30
  every time, everything, both of us in the audience.
• 12:33
  Both of us. Ten o'clock in the morning,
• 12:35
  both of us in the like that was important to me 'cause I didn't have that.
• 12:38
  Do you know what I mean? But that kind
• 12:39
  Mm, mm-hmm.
• 12:40
  of like changed gear, obviously,
• 12:42
  and really quickly the the shop was successful.
• 12:45
  I was phase two of my life.
• 12:47
  Throughout the whole thing, personal development,
• 12:49
  personal development, personal development,
• 12:51
  personal development, right? Even like to raise a ceiling on the production
• 12:54
  of the shop, right? That's I took it as far as I could.
• 12:57
  I how do we get it to right? So I'm a learning kind of maniac.
• 13:02
  But get this in the world of personal development in Los Angeles,
• 13:07
  even though there's eleven million people here,
• 13:09
  it's actually a small world. You you run into the same faces quite a bit.
• 13:12
  So
• 13:12
  Mm-hmm.
• 13:13
  I'm two thousand six, eighteen years ago.
• 13:16
  I'm in a a business workshop about my business.
• 13:20
  I meet this couple and the girl the lady says to me,
• 13:23
  What do you do next weekend? And I go,
• 13:26
  Mm, I'm a free wife. She goes,
• 13:27
  You want to come to a workshop with something?
• 13:28
  I'm like, Absolutely, sure. Because I I'll learn something,
• 13:31
  right? That I'm that kind of
• 13:32
  Mm-hmm.
• 13:32
  I got that kind of brain. I want to know everything.
• 13:34
  And then I ask the question, What's it about?
• 13:36
  She's like, it's called Understanding Women.
• 13:39
  Okay.
• 13:40
  Yeah.
• 13:40
  Now I thought it was gonna be cute,
• 13:42
  right?
• 13:44
  And and I had kind of an ease of ladies,
• 13:46
  like I did I thought it was me,
• 13:48
  even though I couldn't have told you how I had an ease of ladies.
• 13:50
  I just didn't do the crazy stuff my friends did.
• 13:52
  Right. I tried to sweep women,
• 13:54
  I'm like, now spend a weekend in a workshop honestly
• 13:58
  Right. so I went kind of backwards 'cause I said I would,
• 14:01
  so I did and ~ I walked in the space,
• 14:05
  one of the ~ big ballroom at the airport hotel,
• 14:08
  one of the airport hotels, the big ones.
• 14:10
  Walked in the space, four hundred people in the space.
• 14:12
  wait, not cute. Like energetically like,
• 14:15
  Mm-hmm.
• 14:15
  Okay,
• 14:15
  hold on, magic here. And sure enough,
• 14:18
  after the workshop was over my brain was all over the walls 'cause I realized
• 14:21
  I knew nothing about women. Like dude like not
• 14:24
  thing zero about women, which also meant I knew nothing about my wife,
• 14:29
  right? Which is a huge liability,
• 14:30
  Mm-hmm.
• 14:32
  right? I have two little kids at
• 14:33
  a time. All my family, all my my siblings are divorced two and three times.
• 14:37
  I have everything working. I have my beautiful wife,
• 14:40
  my kids, my family we live in paradise.
• 14:42
  Wait, what? I don't know anything about her?
• 14:44
  Wait, what? Like Houston we might have a problem.
• 14:47
  And that's kinda the relationship coaching started.
• 14:50
  So that company I took all their workshops and then I went back after I took
• 14:53
  all the workshops to assist 'cause you actually after you paid for it,
• 14:57
  you could actually be in the space and volunteer to hear
• 15:00
  the information again because there was so much,
• 15:03
  right? And the questions are different because of the the audience different,
• 15:06
  the teacher is different. Like so and the more I learned the more
• 15:09
  I realized that there was more to learn.
• 15:12
  So I did like five years with that company and then cycled into John Gray,
• 15:15
  Mars and Venus. John Dr. John Gray study,
• 15:18
  you know.
• 15:19
  So his work and then four other masters in the field,
• 15:22
  like famous people that you would know.
• 15:24
  Dr. Pahal in Los Angeles, who was a family child marriage therapist for 47 years,
• 15:29
  just past. I spent three and a half years in semi private quarters.
• 15:33
  Me and three or four other people getting everything she learned in whole career.
• 15:37
  Like incredible stuff. So that's how this happened.
• 15:40
  Like I just kept learning because there's more.
• 15:41
  There was more, there was more,
• 15:42
  there's more, right? Originally it was just for me and her to make sure we're gonna
• 15:45
  be a statistic.
• 15:47
  like the rest of my siblings and next thing you know,
• 15:49
  I'm coaching people, be at the car business,
• 15:52
  people would come in, drop their cars,
• 15:54
  and then bloop open up. It was crazy.
• 15:56
  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 15:57
  Like the employees even knew it was
• 15:59
  so common, the employees knew if the doors close,
• 16:01
  don't go in, somebody's crying.
• 16:03
  You know, just I get their car keys and I'll like it was wild.
• 16:07
  So
• 16:07
  Mm-hmm.
• 16:08
  that's how it all started and and I after a while I was doing both.
• 16:13
  I started project Equinox.
• 16:15
  which is the name of my coaching company,
• 16:17
  two and a half years later and so I had both businesses for like five
• 16:21
  or six years and and I I kept trying to make the body shop kind of an ATM machine.
• 16:25
  Do you know what I mean? You can own businesses and not be involved.
• 16:28
  impossible. And so both
• 16:30
  Mm.
• 16:30
  grew and I almost died, so eventually I had to sell the shop.
• 16:33
  So now this is my full time job and that's how we got here.
• 16:37
  Yeah, yeah, love it.
• 16:37
  Phase three of phase
• 16:38
  three of my life.
• 16:40
  Yes. Can you I I did notice you have some experience with
• 16:45
  the Mankind project. And
• 16:47
  Yeah.
• 16:48
  can you I know I have some peers that have experience with it,
• 16:52
  but I'm actually not that familiar with it.
• 16:55
  And I think
• 16:55
  okay.
• 16:56
  when trying to direct anyone,
• 16:59
  maybe in particular younger men,
• 17:01
  towards some sort of community of
• 17:03
  practice that can help guide them.
• 17:05
  I often reference that as a possibility,
• 17:08
  although I don't really know much about it myself.
• 17:10
  Can you explain a little bit about what that is and how it may relate
• 17:13
  So yeah.
• 17:14
  to your other work?
• 17:15
  Mankind Project MKP was you know,
• 17:18
  I joined in twenty ten. That was another piece of personal development,
• 17:22
  of finding myself, of finding my mojo,
• 17:24
  of balancing my life, of blah,
• 17:25
  all of that. We do a lot of we do a lot of trauma release work,
• 17:29
  which is fantastic. We're all traumatized by life,
• 17:32
  you know, and we're especially when you're younger.
• 17:35
  So if you believe you're not worthy,
• 17:37
  you're not good enough, you're never gonna be good enough,
• 17:39
  you know.
• 17:40
  There's something wrong with you,
• 17:41
  right? The world is a sterile place.
• 17:42
  We all have some false belief that we collected at five years old,
• 17:46
  by the way, just like me. And that's it's a standard go to and th though that those
• 17:51
  beliefs will drive the rest of your life.
• 17:52
  And like that's not gonna make you a s a very good life if you think you're
• 17:56
  not worthy of love, that you're not good enough and everybody else is you know,
• 18:01
  so part of my story, right, to kind of heal the old trauma.
• 18:07
  Changed my life completely. Like changed my life completely.
• 18:10
  And so I was with those guys. I did there's a there's a warrior weekend they called
• 18:15
  it. They kind of crack the nut and then you continue with a ten year week program
• 18:19
  afterwards to integrate. And then you join they call it i group or you
• 18:22
  go weekly or bi weekly. Like typically it's weekly,
• 18:25
  you don't have to go every week,
• 18:26
  but you continue your work with men supporting you.
• 18:28
  And the whole program is men supporting men.
• 18:30
  And there are challenges, right?
• 18:33
  We don't care what color
• 18:34
  what religion, what creed, what nothing,
• 18:37
  what orientation is men supporting men and men's work and their pain.
• 18:42
  'Cause we know men will turn to their wives or girlfriends and women
• 18:46
  in the world their mothers and but I and one model we have is,
• 18:50
  you know, only a man can help a man with his men problem.
• 18:53
  Not your girlfriend, not your wife,
• 18:55
  not your mother. Right? So and and often when you bring your troubles
• 18:58
  to your girlfriend or your wife,
• 18:59
  she if scares her because you if you're not
• 19:02
  you know, if you appear weak, like they don't feel safe.
• 19:06
  So you don't bring
• 19:06
  Yeah, yeah.
• 19:07
  that to your girlfriend or your wife,
• 19:08
  she'll actually lose respect for you.
• 19:09
  So men have a lot of challenges,
• 19:11
  but it's men who can help men with their men problem.
• 19:15
  So that's the program. so to
• 19:17
  Lovely.
• 19:17
  this day, you know, some of my clients I refer them to the company.
• 19:20
  not in Los Angeles. I'm gonna say this and if anybody's listening,
• 19:24
  MKP Los Angeles, too woke, out of control.
• 19:27
  Thank you.
• 19:28
  Thank you. Yeah, thank you. Yeah,
• 19:28
  out of control, out of control,
• 19:30
  out of out of fucking control.
• 19:31
  yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
• 19:32
  I don't wanna say it. But there's
• 19:33
  places like New York City, is a good group.
• 19:36
  Florida is a good group. there's two in Hawaii.
• 19:40
  Right? One in Oahu, one in Maui.
• 19:42
  And so I'm I'm planning to go to Oahu.
• 19:44
  They have they got delayed 'cause there was a flood just a few months
• 19:47
  ago so the campus kind of ruined.
• 19:48
  But Oahu as a group of masculine men leader like like just solid
• 19:55
  freaking man's work, not woke crap.
• 19:58
  Yeah.
• 19:58
  You know, Los Angeles I can I can no longer trust anybody here.
• 20:01
  I can't the last client the last client that I send it was Furious back.
• 20:04
  He came back with as opposed to my God,
• 20:07
  thank you for this. He's like,
• 20:08
  really? Like really? So anyway,
• 20:09
  Right. Yeah, yeah. I I yeah.
• 20:12
  but
• 20:13
  you know, so the the the company is and it was also but there's a lot of
• 20:16
  a lot of companies that are knocked off.
• 20:18
  MKP's been around since the seventies.
• 20:20
  They're around the world.
• 20:20
  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 20:21
  Right? I send a guy in Switzerland to KP Switzerland.
• 20:25
  You know what I mean, had a great weekend.
• 20:26
  So apparently they're a little woke over there,
• 20:27
  Nice.
• 20:28
  but not so s
• 20:30
  you know, over the top. But there's a lot of co knockoff companies from there 'cause
• 20:34
  they've been around from the seventies.
• 20:34
  Yes, yes, yes.
• 20:35
  They a company
• 20:36
  so you want you're looking for mentoring work for men,
• 20:39
  men helping men. There's a bunch of ways.
• 20:41
  But MKB is one channel.
• 20:43
  Okay. Yeah. Thank you for that.
• 20:44
  That's
• 20:45
  helpful to hear and I I appreciate your honesty and sanity
• 20:51
  in recognizing perhaps some of the problems that's happening with this work.
• 20:55
  And I wanted to ask you maybe just to to share your insights
• 21:01
  on how dancing dancing is a is a is a dance
• 21:07
  and a practice and something that you continue to do and and experience if you will.
• 21:13
  And I find that it's very hard for people doing personal development work
• 21:19
  or trying to change their life to understand that it there's no finish line per se,
• 21:23
  right? It's a it's
• 21:23
  Yeah.
• 21:24
  a practice, it's a dance, right?
• 21:26
  And I I don't know, I you you seem like a perfect person to to have that
• 21:31
  the insights
• 21:32
  Mm.
• 21:32
  of that and to be able to explain that to people.
• 21:36
  Well, you know, and again, if you're gonna take,
• 21:38
  you know, any anything you wanna master,
• 21:40
  you you can't you don't s there's no stopping.
• 21:43
  Right? If you don't ma master jujitsu,
• 21:46
  you're not gonna train two years and go,
• 21:48
  I'm good, right? You gotta keep training.
• 21:49
  If you wanna if you're a bodybuilder,
• 21:51
  you wanna be fitness thin, there's no there's no end game or there's no end like,
• 21:56
  you know, okay, I graduated, right?
• 21:58
  Like
• 21:58
  Yeah,
• 21:59
  yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 21:59
  I'm in shape.
• 21:59
  I get to go, you know, sit on the couch,
• 22:01
  right? Like it's so people who succeed,
• 22:03
  if you want master to master something,
• 22:05
  it's not only the learning, but it's a continuation of in integrating,
• 22:09
  practicing, integrating so it becomes like literally ingrained.
• 22:13
  So dancing is the same, but relationships are the same,
• 22:16
  right? Like the stuff that I teach,
• 22:17
  my programs, or what people don't understand often is information does
• 22:22
  not create transformation. Right?
• 22:25
  You listen to
• 22:26
  podcast, you you know, you you you read a book,
• 22:29
  you're like, that's amazing. But it it it if you don't apply the work viscerally,
• 22:33
  physically, experience it with your body,
• 22:35
  it doesn't go in. It's like it don't it bounces.
• 22:39
  So my work is all about, you know,
• 22:41
  putting people through the process,
• 22:43
  putting people through the trauma release first,
• 22:46
  because that's primary, like I did with you know my work,
• 22:49
  men's work, trauma release first,
• 22:51
  and then we go into like who
• 22:55
  in y as after we've seen trauma for the ladies is often they're too masculine.
• 22:59
  So how do you get back into your feminine body?
• 23:01
  Because
• 23:01
  Yeah.
• 23:01
  masculine women don't attract masculine men,
• 23:03
  they attract feminine men, right?
• 23:05
  So part of the problem in our culture,
• 23:07
  everybody's a boss babe and they complain the guys are soft.
• 23:10
  Well, that's just a lot of nature.
• 23:12
  Whatever you are, you attract the opposite.
• 23:14
  So if you're masculine, you attract feminine,
• 23:16
  even though you're surrounded by masculine men,
• 23:17
  the only ones going to pay attention is a feminine one,
• 23:19
  right? So
• 23:22
  So for women to get back into their feminine bodies,
• 23:25
  right? So th this a practice, daily practice to get back into their bodies.
• 23:29
  To be masculine is to be in your head,
• 23:31
  to be feminine is to be in your body.
• 23:32
  Right?
• 23:33
  Hmm.
• 23:33
  So for the men it's the often often the opposite.
• 23:36
  They're too feminine. They don't know how to be masculine.
• 23:38
  No daddy, bad daddy, no role model,
• 23:40
  right? Raised by Mama Bear, who trained him to be sweet and sensitive
• 23:45
  and talkative and, you know, share his feelings.
• 23:47
  That doesn't make a man powerful.
• 23:49
  So their struggle with being men.
• 23:51
  Women don't like them. They get put in the friend zone.
• 23:53
  They were raised to be nice guys.
• 23:55
  They they live the nice guy's life and we put them in the friend zone because women
• 24:01
  don't feel safe with nice guys.
• 24:02
  Women need men to know who they are,
• 24:05
  to lean in, to provide, protect,
• 24:07
  right? That's what makes a woman feel safe.
• 24:09
  So nice guys are struggling, boss baby is struggling.
• 24:12
  So the work is really trauma released to see how we got there in the first place.
• 24:16
  Belief, false belief in childhood.
• 24:19
  then step
• 24:19
  Mm-hmm.
• 24:19
  into the essence of your bodies,
• 24:21
  recalibrate your essence with literally the essence of your body,
• 24:26
  feminine woman, masculine man.
• 24:28
  Works better. Obviously there's some flex.
• 24:30
  We talk about dancing, right? Like if if if you see behind me.
• 24:34
  What happened? Hold on. My wife and I ballroom dancing.
• 24:36
  yeah, yeah, I can't see. Nice,
• 24:39
  nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 24:41
  Now this only takes practice, right?
• 24:44
  Yeah.
• 24:45
  But understand that, you know,
• 24:46
  in ballroom, Argentine Tango is different because you pass the lead back and forth,
• 24:50
  right? It's more it's more it more it's more lines up with actual relationship
• 24:54
  dynamics. But ballroom
• 24:56
  Mm-hmm.
• 24:56
  is quite rigid as in like I lead and she follows.
• 24:59
  That's it, right?
• 25:00
  'Cause if she tries to take the lead as I'm leading,
• 25:02
  I get the elbow to the face and the lead to the ground.
• 25:04
  Right? There's no there's no f there's no flight.
• 25:04
  Yeah. Well my dad sorry,
• 25:06
  But get this. Go ahead.
• 25:08
  I gotta just
• 25:08
  my dad would always complain of of ~ she can't she can't follow
• 25:14
  or something like that, or too
• 25:15
  Right? Yeah.
• 25:15
  too much, yeah, yeah. There's too much tension in the dancing relationship
• 25:19
  That's it, right? Cause so but tango and ballroom,
• 25:20
  or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
• 25:22
  right? So when my wife and
• 25:23
  Yeah.
• 25:24
  I first started, she's a ballerina.
• 25:25
  Is anybody more in control of their bodies at the ballerina,
• 25:28
  right? That's madness. I mean it's beautiful,
• 25:30
  it's incredible. But so the moment I tried dancing with her,
• 25:33
  she would try to help. Trying to help me,
• 25:34
  she was stiff, she was ex ex ~ anticipating my lead.
• 25:38
  And that's when I get hurt. Like you can't anticipate if if I'm if
• 25:42
  I'm planning to turn you to the right with the elbow this way,
• 25:45
  right? This way, and you think I'm going this way,
• 25:47
  bam, right in my face.
• 25:48
  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 25:49
  Do you know what I mean? So in ballroom,
• 25:51
  like
• 25:51
  so when we first started dancing together,
• 25:53
  right? Because she became my ballroom partner,
• 25:55
  right? I would smack her hand,
• 25:56
  Yeah.
• 25:57
  like, stop, stop leading, stop leading.
• 25:59
  And after
• 26:00
  rehearsal, sometimes her hand was all red,
• 26:02
  because that's how much, but she didn't mean
• 26:02
  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 26:03
  to. She's trying to not be a drag.
• 26:05
  She's trying to be, you know,
• 26:05
  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 26:06
  pro proactive. It doesn't work that way.
• 26:08
  My point is in ballroom and in every other dance,
• 26:12
  right? It's just like a relationship.
• 26:13
  Watch this. So I lead, right? I take the lead.
• 26:17
  More so than anything else, but I have to lead with sensitivities.
• 26:20
  Because if if I'm a because I could overlead her,
• 26:23
  right? I could actually like lead her too hard.
• 26:25
  I could actually crank her shoulder,
• 26:26
  I could crank her arm if I'm a bully,
• 26:28
  right? But if I'm a bully on the dance floor,
• 26:31
  is she gonna want to dance with me?
• 26:32
  So even though I lead, I have to lead
• 26:32
  Yeah, no. Yeah.
• 26:35
  with sensitivities because so she wants to dance with me,
• 26:39
  right? So if I leave with sensitivities,
• 26:41
  again, there's a lot of finesse with the fingers and energy,
• 26:43
  right? That I'm so connected and aware of her and with the
• 26:47
  Where we're at the puller and she has to be responsive to this.
• 26:50
  But when she feels safe, that I lead her with sensitivities.
• 26:54
  I'm not gonna run into a wall or another couple or table,
• 26:57
  right? She can relinquish control or trying to help me become vulnerable
• 27:04
  to my leadership, right? Where she slips into her natural feminine energy.
• 27:09
  And guess what happens? I kind of do most of the work.
• 27:12
  It's not like she's passive, by the way.
• 27:13
  Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 27:14
  She's doing everything backwards and addressing high heels.
• 27:16
  It's
• 27:16
  not.
• 27:16
  passive, it's just complimentary.
• 27:17
  Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
• 27:18
  Right? But again, the dance is for us to communicate to our fingers.
• 27:23
  As I lead, she responds to my leadership.
• 27:25
  She lets go of of control, right?
• 27:27
  We flow. And guess what? No one's looking at me.
• 27:30
  They're all looking at this her,
• 27:32
  Yeah, yeah. Yes,
• 27:32
  shining, glorious, feminine, you know.
• 27:35
  I mean, we we've been
• 27:36
  yes.
• 27:36
  together for like 30 years, and I can still make her squeal on the squeal
• 27:40
  on the dance floor. Because she's so in the moment I can surprise her still.
• 27:44
  Like ~
• 27:45
  Mm.
• 27:46
  Which is really how the the that moment those moments are so precious because we're
• 27:51
  completely present to each other's energy.
• 27:53
  So leadership with sensitivity is essential for men in relationships,
• 27:53
  Yeah, beautiful. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
• 27:56
  Yep.
• 27:58
  right? And women need to feel safe with him so they can release trying
• 28:02
  to control everything and be vulnerable to his leadership where she shines most.
• 28:07
  This is all nature, by the way.
• 28:08
  This is not my opinion. This is how it all works.
• 28:08
  Yeah, beautiful. No, I
• 28:10
  agree. So can you just because I do think that
• 28:15
  understanding or that reality gets misperceived,
• 28:19
  right? And and miss
• 28:20
  Maybe.
• 28:21
  all that stuff. And and so just so because I do think it matters
• 28:26
  to to remind people, it doesn't mean that if a woman has some masculine traits that
• 28:33
  there's anything wrong with that.
• 28:34
  And
• 28:34
  Course not.
• 28:35
  so yeah, and and I know you didn't say that,
• 28:37
  but I think people just will hear a lot of
• 28:39
  Sure, sure, sure.
• 28:39
  people will hear what you just said
• 28:40
  and and project their own
• 28:43
  yeah, for sure. I I get accused of all kinds of stuff all the time.
• 28:43
  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So yeah.
• 28:47
  Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's exactly,
• 28:47
  That's not what I said. That's not at all what I said.
• 28:49
  How'd you get there? So so if I may clarify go ahead.
• 28:50
  exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So maybe just to yeah,
• 28:53
  Yeah. If
• 28:53
  if you could paint that that broader brush for the people that
• 28:56
  may be thinking otherwise. Yeah.
• 28:58
  I if I Yes. Pig. He wants us back barefoot in the kitchen.
• 29:01
  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, exactly.
• 29:03
  That's not no, not even clothes.
• 29:04
  No. Not even yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
• 29:05
  That exact opposite. Now I so understand
• 29:07
  we both have masculine and feminine within us.
• 29:09
  Period. So women can be masculine.
• 29:09
  Yes. Yes. You have the
• 29:12
  sorry to interrupt you you have the
• 29:13
  Go ahead.
• 29:13
  ~ yin yang on your website, right?
• 29:15
  Which is the yes, that's the masculine feminine.
• 29:16
  Yes, that's my whole world, right?
• 29:17
  So if you if a woman is
• 29:19
  Yeah.
• 29:19
  too masculine, the balance is off,
• 29:21
  right? And you will be
• 29:22
  Yes, yes.
• 29:23
  over stressed, over reac over produced soon,
• 29:25
  over masculinized, over protected,
• 29:27
  over guarded, right? You can't
• 29:29
  Yep.
• 29:29
  trust the masculine you don't,
• 29:31
  right? No, there's a good reason,
• 29:32
  bad daddy, whatever, right? All kinds
• 29:33
  Yeah, yeah.
• 29:34
  of abuse that that happened. So if a woman is masculine,
• 29:37
  like I said, it's a defense mechanism.
• 29:38
  Overly masculine is defense mechanism.
• 29:40
  To not because life was not safe,
• 29:43
  men were not safe, whatever.
• 29:45
  So, but that doesn't create a healthy,
• 29:47
  happy life. That creates a life of stress,
• 29:50
  anxiety, overwhelm, and not be able to trust relationships or men,
• 29:54
  that does not make women very happy.
• 29:56
  So overcalibrating the masculine as a woman,
• 30:00
  does like I said, is is is problematic if you want to be happy,
• 30:05
  if you want to build a life with somebody,
• 30:06
  which by the way, there's a lot of statistics on this,
• 30:09
  both for both men and women, the quality of our lives is directly correlated
• 30:13
  to the quality of our relationships.
• 30:16
  Not your career, not your money,
• 30:17
  not your car, not your house, your the quality of relationship.
• 30:20
  I'm in Los Angeles. A lot of people with a lot of money here,
• 30:22
  and the people
• 30:23
  Yeah.
• 30:23
  who can't get their love dynamic happening feel like losers,
• 30:26
  right? Like it's the primary. So again,
• 30:29
  we we need each other. We're built to be pair bonded.
• 30:32
  This is how we f we
• 30:32
  Yeah, yeah.
• 30:33
  we flourish in life, you know,
• 30:35
  both men and women, and there's a yin yang to that.
• 30:38
  So a masculine woman does not attract masculine men,
• 30:41
  attracts feminine men, and that
• 30:44
  Obviously very soon she'll lose respect for him because he doesn't do anything.
• 30:47
  He's passive, right? He he encourages to be go girl,
• 30:50
  boss babe, get the promotion. Like so he's like having a comfortable life where
• 30:54
  she's killing herself. That's inside out.
• 30:56
  Right? It burns women out. And those those guys that you attract is
• 31:00
  not the guys that you want. Because the masculine men do not respond
• 31:04
  to masculine energy women. They respond to feminine energy women.
• 31:08
  So again, this is the importance of understanding where you're at,
• 31:11
  how balanced
• 31:11
  Mm-hmm.
• 31:11
  you are, or if if you're
• 31:13
  out of balance, that's the work to recalibrate.
• 31:15
  Now, I'm not saying if a woman's masculine,
• 31:18
  right? Typically this has been neglected,
• 31:19
  right? Guarded, protected, right?
• 31:22
  Shielded, you know, afraid of being hurt
• 31:25
  Yeah.
• 31:25
  or whatever, manipulated. So we don't undo what you've built,
• 31:29
  right? We recalibrate your feminine.
• 31:31
  Right. Yeah.
• 31:31
  And now of a sudden
• 31:32
  you can actually be able to calibrate and choose when to be appropriate
• 31:36
  in your masculine, when to be appropriate in your feminine.
• 31:38
  Same with the man.
• 31:39
  Beautiful. Yes. Yes. Yeah.
• 31:40
  Men that are too feminine,
• 31:41
  they d they suffer. They're not good.
• 31:43
  Nobody wants
• 31:43
  Yeah.
• 31:44
  them, right? They don't make women feel safe.
• 31:45
  They get put in a friend zone.
• 31:46
  They're lonely. They're not right.
• 31:48
  They've been raised to be nice guys.
• 31:49
  That doesn't freaking work. Right?
• 31:52
  So it's not about being a douchebag,
• 31:54
  right? It's about being a man who is,
• 31:57
  you know, is decisive, makes decisions,
• 31:59
  leans in, provides, protects, cherishes.
• 32:01
  That's what makes women feel feel safe.
• 32:03
  So
• 32:04
  That's
• 32:05
  the work. Honestly, we both have both,
• 32:06
  but a lot of us are dysregulated in a way that
• 32:07
  Yeah, yeah. Yep.
• 32:09
  makes life more difficult and relationships impossible.
• 32:12
  That's my work. Woo! You got me going.
• 32:13
  Yeah. Yeah, beautiful. Beautiful.
• 32:15
  Yeah, that was good. Yeah, that was perfect.
• 32:15
  You got me going.
• 32:17
  Yeah, yeah, it's good. It's good.
• 32:19
  Well,
• 32:19
  I think that's the that's the story or the articulation that is
• 32:25
  not said enough out loud in our cultural discourse on these things.
• 32:29
  Yep. Yeah,
• 32:30
  Yeah.
• 32:30
  it's all about fifty fifty. And I and again I've been doing this
• 32:33
  for almost twenty years. I've never seen fifty fifty work.
• 32:36
  It doesn't work that way. It's not nature,
• 32:38
  it doesn't work. You neutralize each other fifty-fifty,
• 32:40
  right? What works is teamwork.
• 32:43
  I don't like the word partners
• 32:43
  Yes, yes, yes.
• 32:45
  because partners also implies fifty-fifty for most people.
• 32:48
  Right, right.
• 32:49
  Teamwork, which means you, your strength,
• 32:51
  my strengths, but come together and build a family,
• 32:54
  you know, build
• 32:56
  a a kingdom and leave a legacy.
• 32:58
  That's what everybody wants, really.
• 32:59
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 33:01
  You know what I mean? Like in in the end,
• 33:03
  that's most people want that, right?
• 33:04
  Yeah, yeah.
• 33:05
  So
• 33:06
  I think that is true. and just to state the obvious,
• 33:09
  or although not so obvious, that doesn't
• 33:09
  ~ yeah.
• 33:10
  mean that if you don't want that or you don't end up in that place in your life,
• 33:14
  it doesn't mean that you're bad or you failed or whatever.
• 33:18
  Of course not. Now in my world,
• 33:18
  Like, yeah, yeah. I know you d yeah.
• 33:20
  I I talk
• 33:21
  about this all the time, right?
• 33:22
  Like there's an eighty-twenty rule to everything in the world.
• 33:24
  Eighty eighty percent is we'll call the norm and twenty percent is outside the norm.
• 33:27
  Right, right. Right.
• 33:28
  I call them hybrids,
• 33:29
  right? There's a lot of eighty-twenty,
• 33:32
  so nothing is a hundred percent of anything,
• 33:34
  right? Relationships are not he leads and she follows,
• 33:38
  and that's it. Like it's like dance
• 33:38
  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 33:39
  like Argentine Tango, there's a plan,
• 33:41
  there's a constant plan of I'll take this on.
• 33:46
  I don't want to take this on. Do you want it?
• 33:47
  you're better at this, I'm better at this.
• 33:49
  Even though we could switch over and into opposite,
• 33:52
  you know, in from your gender.
• 33:53
  Like this is the blend that makes things flow.
• 33:56
  You have to negotiate and talk about these things as opposed to trying
• 33:58
  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 33:59
  to make the other one act right.
• 34:01
  Right. That's what we do, right?
• 34:02
  We attract somebody opposite us and we're trying to make them act like
• 34:05
  us because that you know be so easier,
• 34:08
  right? So women want men to be more sensitive,
• 34:10
  more sharing, more vulnerable.
• 34:12
  Well, that's your girlfriend. That's not a man,
• 34:14
  typically.
• 34:15
  We have some of that, but not to the level that literally most women require
• 34:20
  or would like, right? And for us on the other side,
• 34:22
  we want it to be less emotional,
• 34:24
  less, you know, like in the clouds,
• 34:28
  less like we want to like use your brain.
• 34:30
  Use that this doesn't make sense.
• 34:31
  Why does that upset you? Right?
• 34:33
  We're trying to like take the feelings and make ~ logical,
• 34:36
  right? That's like this is what this is why this is the biggest collision ever,
• 34:41
  right? What is the right
• 34:41
  Yes, yes. I was gonna ask you,
• 34:43
  yeah.
• 34:44
  Can you give some examples on that dynamic and and how people can navigate those?
• 34:49
  So most of us
• 34:50
  Yeah.
• 34:50
  men are logical first. Again, eighty twenty rule,
• 34:53
  right? Not everybody, not every man,
• 34:53
  Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yes. Yes.
• 34:54
  blah blah. Let's talk about the rules,
• 34:56
  Yep.
• 34:56
  not the exceptions, right? Or the the norm.
• 34:59
  Most men
• 35:00
  are logical more, most women are emotional more.
• 35:03
  That's a yin yang, by the way.
• 35:03
  Right. Yes, yes.
• 35:04
  That's beautiful, right? But it makes things
• 35:06
  difficult. Right. So what happened is when a woman gets her feelings hurt,
• 35:10
  by the way, we hurt their feelings all the time.
• 35:12
  And ladies, I must say this, if and if I do it with my wife.
• 35:17
  I have no idea, no intention that I'm doing it.
• 35:19
  This is not what I meant. This is not what I said.
• 35:21
  How the hell did you get there?
• 35:22
  Right. That's not it. That's not it.
• 35:23
  That's not it. Right. Yes, that is.
• 35:25
  I can feel it. I'm like, well,
• 35:27
  your feelings are wrong. Right.
• 35:28
  Right. But so for us, we often don't understand why we bend them out of shape.
• 35:33
  We hurt their feelings.
• 35:34
  Yeah.
• 35:34
  We get like ~ you know, sort of triggered,
• 35:37
  I wanna say. So what we do, because that's not what I said,
• 35:41
  that's not what I meant, you know,
• 35:42
  you took it on right, we're gonna logically trying to correct her.
• 35:45
  This is what we do to each other.
• 35:45
  Yes. Yep.
• 35:47
  So
• 35:48
  when you try to correct a woman,
• 35:49
  when you're trying to talk a woman back into her logic when she feels bad,
• 35:53
  you see the insult that that is?
• 35:56
  Do you know what I mean? Because you literally are ignoring how she feels
• 35:58
  I do. Yes.
• 36:00
  and trying to correct
• 36:01
  her. So not only do you not get her,
• 36:02
  but we you you you're making her wrong for how she feels,
• 36:06
  Yeah, yeah.
• 36:06
  right?
• 36:07
  But that's what we do, and often happens because we're trying to trying
• 36:10
  to defend ourselves. I thought I said.
• 36:11
  That's not what, right?
• 36:13
  Do you know what I mean? So that what doesn't work,
• 36:15
  Yeah, it's perfect, perfect. Yep.
• 36:15
  but that's what doesn't
• 36:17
  work. So how do you actually use how do you meet her in her feelings?
• 36:20
  That's part of the work that I teach as men.
• 36:21
  Yes. Yeah, yeah.
• 36:22
  How do you meet her in her feelings?
• 36:23
  So instead of being the enemy that she feels supported,
• 36:26
  seen, heard, right? It's beautiful.
• 36:28
  Yep. Yeah, it is.
• 36:29
  Right?
• 36:30
  And on the other side, you know,
• 36:31
  on the other side, f ladies understand man's logic and that that's sort
• 36:37
  of where they're gonna go to, that's not gonna be feeling based,
• 36:39
  'cause women often think we're cold and selfish and self centered because
• 36:42
  Yeah,
• 36:42
  yeah, yeah.
• 36:43
  We don't speak
• 36:43
  through our feelings don't share.
• 36:44
  We're not emotional. We're like logically.
• 36:47
  We do logistical stuff. We're,
• 36:48
  you know, men take care of things,
• 36:50
  women take care of people more.
• 36:51
  I mean, so to women, we often look disconnected,
• 36:54
  selfish, self-centered, doesn't care.
• 36:57
  That's not it. I gotta keep us all surviving,
• 36:59
  right? It's two different machines.
• 37:01
  But we make each other wrong for being two different machines
• 37:04
  as opposed to embracing the fact that together we're unbeatable.
• 37:07
  But again, culture says 50-50.
• 37:11
  That's
• 37:12
  what doesn't work. When you neutralize men and women,
• 37:14
  everything goes flat. Right? I'm just saying,
• 37:17
  I could do this all day long, by the way.
• 37:18
  Yeah. Yeah, yeah, me too, me too.
• 37:20
  So I
• 37:21
  I'll just say it out loud. Some what what my wife
• 37:23
  Say that out.
• 37:24
  yeah, what my wife and I have managed to practice pretty well
• 37:28
  is I'm gonna start my wife will just say,
• 37:32
  you just need to sit there and nod your head.
• 37:35
  And say that's difficult. And so she'll sit down beside
• 37:39
  That's what I just said, right?
• 37:40
  me. Yeah. She'll sit down, she'll express all the stuff and I'll go,
• 37:44
  that sounds really difficult. And she'll go,
• 37:45
  Thank you, and she'll walk away,
• 37:47
  you know, or whatever. Yeah. Yeah.
• 37:48
  Because in that she feels seen and that she
• 37:51
  actually feels seen and heard as opposed to why do you feel that way?
• 37:53
  Yes. Exactly, yeah, and then exactly.
• 37:55
  That's stupid. You should let that you should let that go.
• 37:57
  My favorite
• 37:57
  line would be that you should that shouldn't bother you,
• 37:59
  you should let it go. Right? Why do you feel
• 37:59
  Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right.
• 38:01
  Right. Right.
• 38:01
  that way? It doesn't make any sense.
• 38:03
  Right? You know it's always happening that way,
• 38:05
  so why can't you just like see it coming and don't get ups This is how
• 38:08
  Yeah, yeah, totally, totally, totally.
• 38:08
  you you might as well throw a brick in her face.
• 38:09
  Yes, yes, yes.
• 38:10
  And men don't get that because we're
• 38:12
  trying to logically bring her back.
• 38:14
  Yep, yep, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 38:14
  This makes no sense, right? So I that's what doesn't work.
• 38:16
  So there's a whole I call a tool a toolkit that I teach men how to basically
• 38:22
  be the hero as opposed to make turn to the worst enemy when she makes no sense.
• 38:26
  Yes, yes, yes, yes.
• 38:27
  And ladies,
• 38:28
  how do you actually also help ~ kind of recalibrate and get more sensitive,
• 38:34
  more present, more connected to his heart,
• 38:35
  Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
• 38:37
  right? There's a way for ladies,
• 38:38
  we need the femininity to bring us out of our heads into our hearts,
• 38:40
  but there's a respect
• 38:41
  Yes.
• 38:43
  There's a respect speech. I call it Menglish.
• 38:45
  Ladies have to learn Menglish because if you try
• 38:48
  Yeah.
• 38:49
  if you if you if you if you try to change him,
• 38:52
  make him act right by putting your finger in his face,
• 38:54
  digging your heels and and mothering him,
• 38:56
  you're gonna get pushed back so hard and you're gonna think you're gonna think he's
• 39:00
  Indeed. Yeah.
• 39:00
  a jerk. No. So
• 39:01
  we need to learn to meet your feelings and to meet you in your feelings
• 39:05
  and there's like I said there's language to this.
• 39:06
  And ladies have to learn the respect language to bring out their hero in us.
• 39:11
  Not the warrior, 'cause if you attack me 'cause you think it's you know,
• 39:14
  I'm sick of blah blah blah and put your finger in my face,
• 39:18
  you're gonna find the the warrior defending himself from you as opposed
• 39:22
  to being your hero to defend you from the world.
• 39:23
  Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
• 39:24
  I could do this all day long.
• 39:26
  Look.
• 39:27
  It's beautiful. It's beautiful.
• 39:28
  So so then let's can you take the extension there then?
• 39:33
  It's how do we go from the impulse to be defensive?
• 39:39
  So on the other side of that, I guess,
• 39:41
  is where when when my wife does what you're describing,
• 39:44
  the finger wagging, right? And the whole the whole game,
• 39:45
  Yep.
• 39:48
  I
• 39:50
  I'm much better now after practicing for a long time,
• 39:53
  but it's it's wo you know, whoa,
• 39:57
  that's not helpful, right? Don't
• 39:59
  Yeah.
• 39:59
  come at me like that. How can I Yeah,
• 40:01
  Right. Disrespectful. Disrespectful.
• 40:04
  yeah, it's not okay, right? If you want to address whatever it
• 40:07
  is you're talking about, doing it that way is not yeah.
• 40:09
  Speak with respect. Speak with respect.
• 40:11
  Yes.
• 40:11
  Not command, not pushing, not
• 40:13
  anger, not digging, not right.
• 40:16
  'Cause I do have the my my whatever imp unhelpful impulse is to get defensive,
• 40:23
  right? And so so yes.
• 40:25
  Well, 'cause to it's
• 40:26
  when you get accused of something you didn't do or didn't mean on doing,
• 40:28
  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 40:29
  for us it's like, what are you talking about,
• 40:30
  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 40:31
  right? Like to defend ourselves,
• 40:32
  like
• 40:32
  you need to get it. That's not what I said.
• 40:34
  It's somebody, right? So it's kind of a it's outrageous.
• 40:37
  It's a bit of a that kind of a c accusation when I didn't
• 40:39
  Yeah.
• 40:40
  that's not what I meant. I need to correct you,
• 40:43
  but it doesn't work. Doesn't freaking work.
• 40:44
  Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's way yes,
• 40:46
  But that's the impulse, right?
• 40:47
  Like the let me let me correct her.
• 40:48
  yes, yes. Yeah. And so I
• 40:49
  She's got it all wrong.
• 40:51
  I do you ever I guess dancing is a wonderful analogy.
• 40:54
  ~ I I did one of my colleagues used to teach a Aikido martial arts class for youth,
• 40:59
  Mm-hmm.
• 41:00
  mental health.
• 41:01
  So it's sort of that that how do we hold or receive the energy without taking
• 41:06
  it on and sort of redirect it?
• 41:08
  ~
• 41:09
  I mean, yeah,
• 41:10
  yeah.
• 41:10
  in my world I call it gender intelligence.
• 41:12
  And people are like, gender, I like yes,
• 41:14
  there is such a thing, right? The men and women are different,
• 41:17
  so let's stop, you know, screwing around here and pretending we're all the same.
• 41:20
  That's ridiculous, right? So that woke crap
• 41:21
  Yeah, yeah.
• 41:22
  is out the window, that's part of the problem.
• 41:24
  Right? But gender intelligence and I I t and smart people do this by the way,
• 41:28
  right? People who actually want healthy relationships that are smart,
• 41:31
  right? And I teach this to like to men and women,
• 41:35
  like, you know, if you want to be in a healthy relationship with a a woman as a man
• 41:39
  Go cross the bridge into woman world and go learn about what they want,
• 41:43
  what they need, why they're so,
• 41:44
  you know, driven emotion, why they take everything personally,
• 41:48
  why they say stuff like, It's,
• 41:49
  you know, I need so very little,
• 41:51
  why can't you give me what that me what I need?
• 41:52
  And we don't know what the hell that means.
• 41:54
  Right? We don't know each other.
• 41:57
  We're completely different machines,
• 41:58
  we're completely opposite. So you have to kinda meet her kinda halfway
• 42:03
  as much as possible. Learn that what a woman needs to feel safe,
• 42:07
  to feel connected.
• 42:08
  To respect you, right? There's a whole there's there's an instinct there.
• 42:11
  And when you do this, she is naturally loving and caring and nurturing,
• 42:17
  right? So all the goodies come,
• 42:18
  but it's instinctual, a lot of it.
• 42:19
  So gender intelligence, men go learn what a woman needs to feel safe
• 42:25
  in the world that's primary and connected,
• 42:27
  so you can bring everything naturally lovely out of her.
• 42:30
  And ladies, cross the bridge to man world and go find out when men do what they do.
• 42:35
  Understand the warrior.
• 42:37
  mechanism, understand respect,
• 42:38
  Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
• 42:39
  understand
• 42:39
  why what motivates us that doesn't motivate you,
• 42:42
  right? The way we process information and feeling is completely different than
• 42:45
  the way you do. We speak differently,
• 42:47
  we listen differently. And again,
• 42:49
  that's part of the collision, right?
• 42:50
  Because we're miles apart. We're not two different planets.
• 42:53
  We're two different freaking galaxies.
• 42:55
  So but
• 42:55
  Yeah.
• 42:56
  if smart people go learn, right?
• 42:58
  So what happened is man will learn on,
• 43:00
  you know, would bring how to bring on the best out of his woman naturally,
• 43:04
  Mm-hmm.
• 43:04
  instinctively.
• 43:05
  It's magically simple.
• 43:07
  When you get it, women bring the best out of their man,
• 43:10
  provide protection, hair, support,
• 43:11
  give support, you know, lead, pay like out of a man instinctively,
• 43:14
  no manipulation needed. And what I said,
• 43:16
  when you get to understand the other side more,
• 43:19
  right, you can meet in the middle of the bridge and start freaking dancing.
• 43:23
  And practice, just like dancing,
• 43:26
  Mm.
• 43:26
  ball and dancing takes five years to make a couple,
• 43:28
  right? Professional. That takes freaking practice.
• 43:32
  So if you want to be a pro.
• 43:34
  At dancing, if you want to be pro at money managing,
• 43:37
  if you want to be a pro physically,
• 43:39
  if you want to be pro relationship,
• 43:40
  you gotta practice. But this work,
• 43:42
  Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
• 43:43
  people beyond a stand hiring a financial advisor or a health fitness person.
• 43:47
  But when it comes to relationship,
• 43:49
  they still think they could do it themselves in a world where everything's upside
• 43:52
  down. No, I'm sorry, but the new reality is you have to learn this and
• 43:56
  you have to practice this and if you want to be successful.
• 43:59
  Ta-da. This is what this is, this is
• 43:59
  Yeah.
• 44:02
  what I'm this is what I
• 44:03
  shine, right? This is why I show up.
• 44:05
  And by the way, I don't
• 44:05
  Yeah. Yep.
• 44:06
  know if you know this, but like I'm gonna show off now,
• 44:09
  you ready? So I'm also an ordained minister,
• 44:10
  Yeah, let's do it. Do it. Yeah.
• 44:11
  I was gonna ask you. my you read my mind.
• 44:12
  so some of my clients all right,
• 44:15
  really
• 44:15
  That literally, I swear to God,
• 44:17
  that was my next question. So we're we're dancing right now.
• 44:18
  Yeah. I I mar I married two couples last summer.
• 44:21
  We're dancing here. Yeah. Amazing.
• 44:23
  The biggest honor,
• 44:24
  like don't go, like it just that's all I wanna do.
• 44:26
  Yeah, yeah, it's beautiful.
• 44:27
  Right?
• 44:28
  To go from confusion, frustration,
• 44:30
  anger, men are all, women are all.
• 44:32
  No, no, no, no, no, no. Okay, let's unclean up your story.
• 44:36
  That's the old story, that's a false belief that taints everything.
• 44:39
  If you dismantle this and then you step back into your true essence,
• 44:43
  you can attract the opposite, which is if
• 44:46
  For the feminine, the masculine man,
• 44:48
  for the masculine and feminine woman,
• 44:49
  learn to dance together, gender intelligent,
• 44:52
  right? Learn to dance together,
• 44:54
  practice, step on each other's toes in the beginnings,
• 44:56
  it's normal, right? And then learn to
• 44:56
  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
• 44:58
  go in the flow and negotiate the things that need to be associated,
• 45:01
  the things that we're completely opposite aga about,
• 45:04
  because we're opposite in every way.
• 45:05
  So this is like you know, bridging the gap because it's actually opposite,
• 45:11
  is the reason why we're attracted to each other.
• 45:14
  Yeah, yeah.
• 45:15
  But after a while we make each other wrong for it because he needs to
• 45:18
  be more like this and she should be more right.
• 45:20
  So it's not it's embracing the differences that where the magic is.
• 45:23
  Yeah.
• 45:23
  That's the work, right? And people will succeed long term relationship,
• 45:26
  that's what they do. That's what they do.
• 45:28
  Beautiful.
• 45:29
  Can ha can you in the last few minutes here,
• 45:32
  can you tell us what brought you to become ~ ordained minister and to do this ~
• 45:38
  Well that's actually this years
• 45:39
  yeah.
• 45:40
  and years ago I was helping like ~ kind of a guy from the gym that I knew
• 45:44
  I'm I'm at the gym five days a week,
• 45:45
  so that's a big part of my network comes from the gym.
• 45:47
  And so it's a young man that you that so by the way,
• 45:51
  I'm at the gym and people are like,
• 45:52
  You're always talking. I'm like,
• 45:53
  'cause people come at me all day long.
• 45:56
  Everybody knows what I do, right?
• 45:57
  So let me ask you about my girlfriend.
• 45:58
  So I constantly, constantly, con they all know what I do,
• 46:02
  right? So like
• 46:02
  Yeah.
• 46:03
  that, this was like years ago.
• 46:06
  He came at me with the had problems with his,
• 46:08
  you know, girlfriend at the time.
• 46:10
  I worked with him for a few months and kind of again,
• 46:14
  just not understanding each other,
• 46:15
  but I kinda kinda gave him the language,
• 46:16
  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 46:17
  kind of
• 46:17
  under there's her way, that's his way,
• 46:19
  and it's somewhere in the middle we to meet.
• 46:21
  That's my whole body work. It's his way,
• 46:23
  opposite of your way in every way.
• 46:24
  How do we meet in the middle? How do we in the middle?
• 46:27
  That's what works. So I did this with him and then about a year later,
• 46:32
  he says, so I'm gonna ask you to marry me.
• 46:35
  I'm like
• 46:35
  Whoa. Right? I'm like, good for you.
• 46:38
  He goes, so I was thinking
• 46:39
  Yeah, yeah.
• 46:40
  he goes, we're not very religious,
• 46:41
  you know, and you're we're together 'cause of you is if you get ordained
• 46:46
  you could do a a wedding and it'd be a great honor for us because you're
• 46:49
  the reason why we're together.
• 46:50
  He goes, By the way, it's would be great for your business.
• 46:54
  This is what you do, right? Like help people in relationship and on the other side.
• 46:58
  And I'm like, Wow, that's a great idea.
• 47:01
  Right? So I got ordained because of him.
• 47:05
  We went to Fresno, which is like two hours north of Los Angeles,
• 47:08
  outside by a lake, like a movie set kind of setting.
• 47:12
  And I, you know, I'm a performer.
• 47:14
  So to me, speaking in front of people,
• 47:15
  Mm-hmm.
• 47:17
  like you know, so I got my little script.
• 47:19
  I wrote the my my I wrote my ceremony,
• 47:22
  blah, blah, blah. And I was, you know,
• 47:23
  I I got my music stand and my s you know James Bond suit on
• 47:27
  Yeah.
• 47:28
  and I went up there just to you know,
• 47:30
  to do a quick ceremony. Like I didn't think anything of it.
• 47:34
  But the moment I got up there,
• 47:35
  right, this kind of skew cacibo by the lake,
• 47:37
  and then the there was a hillside,
• 47:39
  all the people are sitting kind of right.
• 47:42
  And so his family, her family,
• 47:44
  and everybody knew of me, because I'm the reason why they're together,
• 47:48
  apparently. So right. So they all like mom and dad and the cousin,
• 47:52
  my God, you're the right. So anyway,
• 47:54
  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 47:55
  so when it's time to start, I stood there with my music stand and I looked
• 48:00
  at the crowd, right? And I'm like,
• 48:02
  my God, this is like
• 48:04
  Such an honor. This is such a privilege.
• 48:06
  Yeah, yeah.
• 48:06
  It's
• 48:07
  so I'm so honored, right? And so he comes down,
• 48:11
  right? And he's like white. He's so nervous,
• 48:14
  right? He's so nervous. I you
• 48:15
  Yeah.
• 48:16
  know, I had to put my hands on him like,
• 48:17
  Okay, we're good, we're good, we're good.
• 48:18
  It's okay, I give him a hug. We're good,
• 48:20
  we're good, we're gonna we're doing this,
• 48:20
  Yeah, yeah.
• 48:21
  I gotcha, I gotcha. Right.
• 48:22
  Calm down a little bit, and then she came down and the room like
• 48:26
  the whole place just went
• 48:28
  I and then be f in front of God,
• 48:29
  I put them too in front of their entire family and friends.
• 48:32
  I would have just
• 48:33
  So that yeah, that was a huge deal and I realized the honor and
• 48:37
  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 48:39
  the privilege that is and so today that's all I wanna do.
• 48:42
  That's I mean, I'll put I'll
• 48:42
  Yeah, amazing. Yeah.
• 48:44
  teach people this material and I always say,
• 48:46
  you know, and when you find the right,
• 48:48
  you know, your person, I wanna do the wedding.
• 48:51
  Absolutely, absolutely so I have a few lined
• 48:52
  Yeah, yeah.
• 48:54
  up now. I have a few lined up.
• 48:55
  Yeah. It's a good life.
• 48:56
  it's amazing.
• 49:00
  I'll tell you, this is not the life that I thought I would live.
• 49:03
  When it started.
• 49:04
  Yeah. ~ that's beautiful. Andre,
• 49:07
  thank you so much. So you said you had a couple of things I think to
• 49:11
  I got gifts, yeah, I have gifts for listeners.
• 49:11
  share with the people listening.
• 49:13
  Yeah. So before we say goodbye,
• 49:13
  Yeah. So yeah,
• 49:16
  share those, please.
• 49:16
  thank you.
• 49:17
  So I do a lot of podcasts, you know,
• 49:19
  two or three a week 'cause I'm treading to I'm trying to spread the hope.
• 49:22
  Ladies and gentlemen, yes, there is a way in this crazy times to build healthy long
• 49:27
  term relationship. The in the modern lifestyle.
• 49:31
  There's a way. This is what I do,
• 49:32
  right? And so I but I noticed when I do podcasts trying to h get people to light up,
• 49:38
  if I want to say it that way.
• 49:38
  Hmm.
• 49:39
  Yeah.
• 49:40
  I notice
• 49:40
  there's two types of listeners.
• 49:41
  So there's l there are listeners who jump jump on a podcast who come across come
• 49:45
  across come across across a podcast because they're looking for information.
• 49:50
  Like what's that masculine and feminine thing that you're hearing?
• 49:53
  Like it's just now it's kind of everywhere.
• 49:55
  People are talking about the dance,
• 49:57
  the dynamic, right? so people who I call them in information seekers.
• 50:02
  People are just starting to poke around.
• 50:03
  So if you're an information seeker,
• 50:05
  I'm gonna let you qualify yourselves.
• 50:08
  But I'll send you directly. My gift to you is I this is a book that I sell
• 50:11
  on my website. It's for ladies.
• 50:13
  It's called the Five Feminine Qualities,
• 50:16
  High Value Men, Find Absolutely Irresistible.
• 50:20
  This is
• 50:20
  Yeah.
• 50:21
  manspeaking, ladies. This is my work with men,
• 50:24
  right? My MKP brothers and all the men interviews.
• 50:27
  So this is men speaking. And by the way,
• 50:29
  this is a workbook, it's 30 pages.
• 50:31
  You have to fill it out, ladies.
• 50:32
  I sell sell it on my website. You can just
• 50:35
  Email me directly to my email.
• 50:37
  I'm gonna send you directly to my email.
• 50:39
  If you go to Andre Coaching, A N D R E Coaching,
• 50:43
  C O A C H I N G, the number one at Gmail,
• 50:46
  Andre Coaching one at Gmail, in the subject box,
• 50:48
  just write irresistible book and I'll send you a digital copy.
• 50:51
  You print it, you play with it,
• 50:53
  you'll see what I'm up to. And by the way,
• 50:55
  ladies, the five qualities, high value men find irresistible,
• 50:58
  has nothing to do with your
• 51:01
  Height, your hair color, the size of your body,
• 51:03
  like none of it. It's the energy that you bring that brings us man alive
• 51:08
  and towards you. You become a magnet.
• 51:10
  So information seekers, Andre Coaching Man,
• 51:13
  irresistible book. By the way,
• 51:15
  you can email me question, you could challenge me,
• 51:18
  you can tell me I'm full of crap.
• 51:19
  I'll I'll correct you. I'll help you.
• 51:22
  Just just come at me, please. I'm you know,
• 51:25
  I'm trying to open the channels to these understandings.
• 51:28
  The second type listeners that I noticed are people were like,
• 51:30
  okay, wait. Hmm. This resonated.
• 51:33
  Okay, so yeah, this resonated.
• 51:34
  So it's something here. Okay, okay.
• 51:36
  And it takes a little courage-ish.
• 51:38
  But if you're a little more courageous and you action take a person,
• 51:42
  right? That's the temperament.
• 51:43
  Andre Coaching wants a Gmail and his subject box just right,
• 51:47
  talk now. I'll send you my calendar link.
• 51:49
  You find a space that's open. We talk like you and I are talking for about
• 51:54
  an hour plus. But the purpose of that call
• 51:58
  The source of my work is we go back into childhood and find
• 52:01
  out what traumatized you. If you're a feminine man,
• 52:05
  there's something big that happened.
• 52:06
  If you're a masculine woman, right,
• 52:08
  we go right to source. Like within 15 minutes,
• 52:10
  we literally go right to where the wheels came off.
• 52:13
  And when you realize there's something wrong with you,
• 52:16
  you're a product of your past.
• 52:17
  Okay. And if you're if if and if there's nothing wrong with you because there isn't,
• 52:22
  right, the false belief get to be removed.
• 52:25
  So now we're talking.
• 52:25
  Now we know what to release off your nervous system.
• 52:28
  Right. So and again for some people,
• 52:31
  you know, and so if you know that you can release this,
• 52:34
  then life opens up. Same thing that I do for myself,
• 52:36
  right? That's the same way I've got to my life.
• 52:39
  And then so if we can release this and bring you into your own reality,
• 52:44
  your own actual ~ the person you were born to be,
• 52:48
  what's that look like? Because we can fix it.
• 52:51
  know what I mean? So we'll talk about the future.
• 52:54
  Right, with what's the dream life?
• 52:55
  And then we'll talk about what it looks like.
• 52:57
  You could get invested small, you know,
• 52:59
  start working with me in small ways all the way to big program.
• 53:02
  But for some people, just that call,
• 53:04
  like I said, no pressure, right?
• 53:06
  That's not about that. It's an invitation.
• 53:08
  But for some people, it's just that call is liberating forever.
• 53:12
  Just understanding that they're not broken.
• 53:13
  They're just a product of their past.
• 53:15
  So anybody who's courageous a little bit or is a go getter,
• 53:20
  come get it. Again, no pressure.
• 53:22
  Right? On the other side you choose.
• 53:24
  I'm just it's an invitation.
• 53:27
  Come get it.
• 53:29
  Hmm. Thank you, Andre. All that info
• 53:32
  Me too.
• 53:33
  will be in the show notes too,
• 53:34
  at least your your website and where people can find you.
• 53:36
  So again, thank you so much for for being here and sharing your wisdom with us.
• 53:40
  I wish you all the best.
• 53:40
  Absolutely. Thank you.
• 53:42
  Thanks for listening to this episode of the State of Mind Podcast.
• 53:45
  Before you go, please pick one idea from today's episode and practice with
• 53:50
  it this week.
• 53:51
  Remember, live with courage, clarity,
• 53:54
  and compassion. Practice inner strength and develop within.
• 53:59
  If you enjoyed this episode, please follow,
• 54:01
  subscribe, like, share it with someone who you think might find it helpful.
• 54:06
  And if you feel so inclined, give us a kind five-star review
• 54:11
  on your podcasting platform.
• 54:14
  I wish you all the very best. Take it easy.
• 54:16
  Peace out.