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SMNTY Classics: Dr. Pragati Singh · Stuff Mom Never Told You

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Stanny and Samantha. I don't know come
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: to stuff. I never told your picture of iHeart radio
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  Speaker 1: and today we are bringing back an activist around the world.
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  Speaker 1: We're checking back in.
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  Speaker 2: We're checking back in and y'all, she's been up to
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  Speaker 2: a lot. So we're coming back to our asexual advocate,
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  Speaker 2: doctor Pragati Singh, who is based out of India, and
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  Speaker 2: she's been quite busy since we last talked about her
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  Speaker 2: in twenty twenty one. I was like, wow, it's been
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  Speaker 2: that long, and she's been traveling and speaking about the
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  Speaker 2: ACE community. And one thing that we have seen is
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  Speaker 2: her achievements in India and educating her community about asexuality.
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  Speaker 2: So this is a bit from her twenty twenty three
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  Speaker 2: interview with asjournal dot Com. I personally think that we've
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  Speaker 2: come such a long way when it comes to ACE
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  Speaker 2: awareness in this country. It is absolutely beautiful to watch,
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  Speaker 2: you know, as someone who has been following this trajectory
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  Speaker 2: for a while, it's been beautiful to watch how has unfolded.
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  Speaker 2: I'm personally really proud of how far we've come. It's
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  Speaker 2: not enough, it's not perfect, and it's not ideal, but
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  Speaker 2: it's way better than a lot of other countries have
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  Speaker 2: been able to get to. And I love that attitude.
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  Speaker 2: She just really talks about how it's been a little
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  Speaker 2: more opening and embraced in India, and we talked about
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  Speaker 2: that originally and since then, she has actually created a
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  Speaker 2: site called platanacity dot Co, which is an online version
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  Speaker 2: of her meetups, which she's been doing since twenty seventeen.
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  Speaker 2: So just in case you were wondering, it is a
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  Speaker 2: personalized matchmaking for non sexual, less sexual, non romantic or
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  Speaker 2: platonic connections and relationship site. So it's a wonderful site.
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  Speaker 2: You should go check it out. It's apparently available for
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  Speaker 2: different countries. And she was talking about why the site
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  Speaker 2: was important and one of the things about how you know,
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  Speaker 2: it is a stigma not to be married, especially in India,
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  Speaker 2: so this kind of opens you up to being able
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  Speaker 2: to have a relationship as an ace person and being
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  Speaker 2: able to have the sensual relationship that you want. So
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  Speaker 2: I think it's a wonderful thing. Love to hear about
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  Speaker 2: her updates. So with that, enjoy this classic episode. Hey,
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: this is Annie and Samantha and how coome to stuff
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  Speaker 2: I've never told your production of iHeartRadio and yes, welcome
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: for another edition of Women Around the World. Doo Doo doo.
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  Speaker 2: I'm just gonna try new little theme songs every time.
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  Speaker 2: I think, what do you think.
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  Speaker 1: Any I think that that is just asking for somebody
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  Speaker 1: to make a super cut of all.
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  Speaker 2: Between Christina and super producer Andrew, who has moved on
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  Speaker 2: to bigger and better shows, they have a lot of blackmail.
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  Speaker 2: I think I'm not gonna think too much about it.
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  Speaker 2: I'm hoping that it just got erased slowly.
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  Speaker 1: Well that is a mistake, but I will support you
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  Speaker 1: and your face misplaced face, that's true, very misplaced.
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  Speaker 2: But other than that, we are still celebrating Pride Month
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  Speaker 2: and wanted to make sure we keep highlighting the people
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: who are doing some amazing work when it comes to
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  Speaker 2: advocating for the LGBTQ plus community. And I have been
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  Speaker 2: all been your business Annie for a little while now,
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  Speaker 2: and yes, this has all been with permission, and make
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  Speaker 2: sure yes, because I think it's really interesting that we
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  Speaker 2: keep having this conversation of unfolding what sexuality is or
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  Speaker 2: can be or can be perceived. And we've talked a
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  Speaker 2: lot about what it is to be ace or a
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  Speaker 2: sexual and why it's important that we continue to talk
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  Speaker 2: about this and destigmatize some of the things that come
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  Speaker 2: around with being asexual or realizing that you're a sexual.
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  Speaker 2: But I wanted to give you, I think, a fairly
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  Speaker 2: easy question. Yes you've said it before, but just to
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: kind of give us a little better When was it
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  Speaker 2: that you first learned about asexuality or being ace.
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  Speaker 1: It was on this very show when I first was editing,
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  Speaker 1: when I was a video editor for the Stuff We
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  Speaker 1: Never Told You YouTube channel, so I probably was like
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  Speaker 1: twenty two, and the host and creator, Kristen, she did
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  Speaker 1: a video called the ABC's of Ace, which, yes, that's
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  Speaker 1: what we named our episode that we did with Adoha Danzo,
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  Speaker 1: but her video was much more like A is for asexual,
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  Speaker 1: B is for bi romantic, and you know, much more
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  Speaker 1: in the title. And I had never heard of it before,
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  Speaker 1: and at the time it seemed impossible to me, not
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  Speaker 1: that it existed, but that it was how I identified.
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  Speaker 1: I've been thinking about why that is lately, and I
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  Speaker 1: think it's just one of those things where if you
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  Speaker 1: grow up in sort of homogeneous space where what you're
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  Speaker 1: seeing is a lot of heteronormative stuff, entertainment people around you.
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  Speaker 1: Then it just feels like, well, that can't be me,
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  Speaker 1: even if I was pretty like I think I bisexual.
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  Speaker 1: But that is also when I learned about how you
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  Speaker 1: can be like a sexual and bi romantic, right, which
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  Speaker 1: is where I think I am. But now I'm also like,
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  Speaker 1: maybe I'm gray sexual or do my sexual because there's
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  Speaker 1: so many avenues of identity, it's hard to put into
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  Speaker 1: one label or one word. And so I think that
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  Speaker 1: that's been really interesting for me, a learning process for
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  Speaker 1: me and for all of us as we're learning, Oh,
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  Speaker 1: I'm not the only one that feels this way, right,
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  Speaker 1: that there are other people who are trying to figure
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  Speaker 1: out how the emotional aspect works and the sexual aspect
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  Speaker 1: works and the romantic aspect works, and how they all
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  Speaker 1: work together. Are don't So I was pretty it was
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  Speaker 1: pretty late in the game when I found out, and
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  Speaker 1: I think it was pretty much later because a lot
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  Speaker 1: of you got to hear me go through it on
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  Speaker 1: this show, kind of like figuring it out that I
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  Speaker 1: was like, you know, maybe this is a possibility for me,
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  Speaker 1: Maybe this is correct and how.
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  Speaker 2: I am yeah, right, And again I think it's a
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  Speaker 2: beautiful process, and maybe it is because I have been
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  Speaker 2: with you for a chunk of this process that I
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  Speaker 2: really am fascinated and as well as like, I love
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  Speaker 2: that you're finding yourself and when people find themselves, it's
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  Speaker 2: such a whole like turning on the light moment that
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  Speaker 2: you get to witness and it's just like a privilege.
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  Speaker 2: But speaking of getting to witness, we wanted to celebrate
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  Speaker 2: the queer community and activists of doctor Pragati Singh, who
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  Speaker 2: is a doctor, has been a public health professional and
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  Speaker 2: it's the founder of the indianaces dot com if you
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  Speaker 2: need to know, which was created originally in twenty fourteen
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  Speaker 2: to form the Indian subcontinence, first support group for asexual people.
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  Speaker 1: She was working in maternal, child and reproductive health when
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  Speaker 1: she began her work and advocating for the Indian ace community.
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  Speaker 1: Born in Delhi, she talks about how low has been
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  Speaker 1: made available to support the asexual community in India and
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  Speaker 1: how she feels it's long overdue. This is actually something
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  Speaker 1: that's come up with me in therapy where my therapist
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  Speaker 1: is like, have you booked her their asexual support groups
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  Speaker 1: in Atlanta? And I have, and there are, but they're
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  Speaker 1: pretty maybe I haven't looked deep enough, but they seems
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  Speaker 1: like pretty small and not too much going on there,
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  Speaker 1: but I should check I should check back in. The
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  Speaker 1: support group that Sin created in twenty fourteen started out
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  Speaker 1: on Facebook, though it really didn't pick up until twenty sixteen,
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  Speaker 1: when someone reached out to her to find out more
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  Speaker 1: about the group. Doctor Seeing stated she had looked for
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  Speaker 1: quite a while for a group like this, and when
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  Speaker 1: she couldn't find one, she decided to create one herself.
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  Speaker 2: Love it. We love these stories, yes, and as in fact,
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  Speaker 2: she talks about the fact that she sees herself as
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  Speaker 2: gray sexual. And I actually had to ask about that
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  Speaker 2: because I'm like, oh my goodness, this is a new term.
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  Speaker 2: Let me look this up. Because I found that fascinating.
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  Speaker 2: I was like, oh okay, And of course Annie was
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  Speaker 2: able to tell me about fan fiction just I'll know.
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  Speaker 2: But I was correct, Doctor Sing stated about the group,
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  Speaker 2: quote Indian Aces was ideated when I realized there was
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  Speaker 2: a lot of asexual people from India looking for a
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  Speaker 2: community platform, but they just didn't have anything. I kept
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  Speaker 2: looking for a really long time for such a platform,
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  Speaker 2: but there wasn't any. I started with something as simple
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  Speaker 2: as Facebook page with the memes and information on a sexuality.
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  Speaker 2: I had never really envisioned it to become as big
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  Speaker 2: a movement that it has now. We do a lot
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  Speaker 2: of other things such as research, advocacy, awareness sessions, a
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  Speaker 2: lot of campaigns, online and offline meetups, training, and academic
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  Speaker 2: and non academic work.
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  Speaker 1: And the movement has created so much for the community.
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  Speaker 1: Not only does she do training and meetups and awareness sessions,
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  Speaker 1: but she also has been invited to do medical conferences
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  Speaker 1: such as the World Association of Sexual Health, where she
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  Speaker 1: was able to present her research on her sexuality studies,
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  Speaker 1: and she was published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine
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  Speaker 1: by el Severe. She has continued to speak out about
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  Speaker 1: why having such research and studies are important in supporting
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  Speaker 1: the community and how her professional background has helped her
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  Speaker 1: as well. She said, in all my academic and professional experience,
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  Speaker 1: there's been little to no discourse regarding sexuality, even though
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  Speaker 1: I've studied medicine and worked in reproductive health. This is
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  Speaker 1: pretty much the norm here. Sexuality just isn't in the forefront.
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  Speaker 1: Yet we still have mothers and neonates dying from sepsis, diarrhea,
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  Speaker 1: and hemorrhage. Sexual health just isn't a priority. In fact,
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  Speaker 1: whatever understanding I have of sexuality today is honestly in
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  Speaker 1: spite of my medical education. That being said, I feel
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  Speaker 1: like my qualification helps add credibility to the cases I make,
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  Speaker 1: such as me saying that hormonal imbalance does have an
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  Speaker 1: effect on libido or that certain medications do affect arousal
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  Speaker 1: probably doesn't sound as far affetched to my audience as
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  Speaker 1: it would if I were not a doctor.
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  Speaker 2: Right, And she continues on talking about the importance of
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  Speaker 2: our work and overall sexual health education, saying sexuality is
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  Speaker 2: a hugely taboo topic in India. This is not limited
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  Speaker 2: to parsonal spaces, but even at sdemic and professional spaces. Additionally,
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  Speaker 2: the many other problems of third world countries take precedence
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  Speaker 2: over sexuality related issues, which are largely considered unimportant or
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  Speaker 2: at least non critical. Never Mind the fact that we
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  Speaker 2: have the world's largest youth population. Never Mind the fact
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  Speaker 2: that sexual harassment and abuse is rampant in our nation.
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  Speaker 2: Never Mind that marital rape is not considered rape as
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  Speaker 2: such an Indian law. To top all of this, there's
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  Speaker 2: no real sexual ad in our educational institutes and the
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  Speaker 2: pressure to get made by age twenty five for women
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  Speaker 2: in age thirty for men is huge in our culture.
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  Speaker 2: All of this basically means that for someone who's a
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  Speaker 2: sexual in India, their adolescence would be a period of
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  Speaker 2: great confusion owing to the lack of awareness and agency
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  Speaker 2: available right now. Their youth may probably be marred with unhealthy,
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: broken relationships, with multiple Feil attempts at having a quote
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  Speaker 2: normal youth experience.
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  Speaker 1: And she even tried different things to help a sexuals
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  Speaker 1: in Indian communities, including a matchmaking app. Though no longer operational,
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  Speaker 1: it was originally intended to help match people all over
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  Speaker 1: the world with a fairly elaborate form process. However, because
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: of the overwhelming response, she was not able to handle
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: it and has sense shut it down. But she did
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: talk about the overall fact that such apps are something
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  Speaker 1: that should be looked into and maybe we'll they will
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  Speaker 1: look at later again. And interestingly, I know we talked
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  Speaker 1: about that in our sexual episode, because that is a
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: plot point on BoJack Horseman where Todd is a sexual
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  Speaker 1: and he tries to create the app.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, so she actually did it. It didn't
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  Speaker 2: last very long, but she was intent in trying to
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  Speaker 2: help a matchmaking scene, because, as she talks about, with
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  Speaker 2: the Indian pressures to get married and oftentimes feeling like
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  Speaker 2: you have to force to be there, that maybe if
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  Speaker 2: you could find another asexual partner that it would make
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  Speaker 2: marriage better. So being able to be a part of
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  Speaker 2: that cultural moment, I guess in pleasing the families, maybe
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  Speaker 2: finding a partner who meets that same level as you do.
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  Speaker 2: So she was talking about trying to creating all of this.
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  Speaker 2: Apparently she tried to do it offline as well. I'm
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  Speaker 2: not really sure what that means or what that looks like,
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  Speaker 2: but yeah, she had it going internationally, so she was
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  Speaker 2: trying real hard to get it all out there, including Egypt, Spain, Canada,
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  Speaker 2: and she had like two hundred more responses than she
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  Speaker 2: thought she was going to have, like two hundred percent more,
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  Speaker 2: and she was like, Okay, never mind, I can't do
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  Speaker 2: all of this. I couldn't imagine being a medical professional, yeah,
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  Speaker 2: and trying to do all of that. So, you know,
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: kudos for trying. But it does sound like there's a need.
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  Speaker 2: People want that to happen, People want to see that happening,
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  Speaker 2: and maybe someone can But it shouldn't be a surprise
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  Speaker 2: that she has been awarded many accolades and deservedly so.
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  Speaker 2: And some of those include being on the BBC one
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  Speaker 2: hundred Women Award in twenty nineteen, which we've talked about
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  Speaker 2: a few times. That's how we found several of our
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: people to talk about. She was on the Young Achiever
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  Speaker 2: Award in twenty eighteen from the Dahi Government. She was
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: awarded the Orange Flower Award in twenty seventeen by the
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: Women's She was awarded the Best Oral Paper Presentation in
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: twenty seventeen and with the Nobel Laureate as well. So
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: very amazing things, and obviously she continues to do a
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  Speaker 2: lot of amazing work for those around her community. Yeah,
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  Speaker 2: and if you want to go check her out. She
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  Speaker 2: has her own website, doctor Pragatti sing as well as
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  Speaker 2: her other site, Indianasis dot com. And if you're actually
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: in India, I don't know if anybody listens from India,
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: and if you do, shout us out. Would love to
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: hear from you. If you can check it out and
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: you can get involved there as well within that growing community.
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  Speaker 2: So really amazing work. Love seeing things like this and
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  Speaker 2: I love just how everything kind of comes together. You're like,
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: look at this big community is so big and they're international,
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  Speaker 2: is just full of love just like us.
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  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, it's lovely to see and as always, listeners,
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: we do love hearing from you. If you have any
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: people you would like us to talk about in this
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: segment or any segment, you can email us our emails
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: at Stepanidiamomstuff at iHeartMedia dot com. You can find us
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: on Instagram at stephone Never Told You or on Twitter
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: at mom Stuff Podcast. Thanks as always to our super
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: producer Christina, Thank you, and thanks to you for listening.
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: Stephane Never Told You, the production of iHeartRadio. For more
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