Latest / Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash / #67 Doting Mum Julia Morris On Divorce, Miscarriage And Menopause

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#67 Doting Mum Julia Morris On Divorce, Miscarriage And Menopause · Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Well, well, well, well, look who's going to buy this
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: episode out today?
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: It's us and our guests today fresh from the Jungle.
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: It's the Queen of Gosford herself, Julia Morris. Lady Julia Morris.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: She is a seasoned Ossie comedian who I've loved for
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: a very long time. Ash. She has one heart as
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: a beloved co host of the Australian version of I'm
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: a Celebrity, Get Me out of Here and Matt.
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: She's also a doting mother of two young ladies in
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: their teens, Ruby and Sophie.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: And as I think it's safe to say that we
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: had no idea what we're getting ourselves into.
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: Julia takes us on a journey from her recent divorce
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: to experiencing a miscarriage mid flight and dealing with the
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: chaos of menopause during live TV.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: But Ash, we kept up with her every step of
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: the way.
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: Somehow.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: Enjoy Welcome back to two doting dads and one doting mum.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: I am Maddie, Jay, I'm Ash and.
• 1:09
  Speaker 4: I'm Lady Julia Morris of Gospin.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: This is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good,
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: it is the.
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: Bad, and the relatable.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: And normally we do not give any advice, none whatsoever.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: But Julia, maybe I feel like you were bursting at
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: the scenes with advice to get you.
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: She came in with the books is like advice, advice, advice.
• 1:30
  Speaker 4: I'm almost full of news.
• 1:31
  Speaker 5: I've got a suggestion at every turn of the weird
• 1:34
  Speaker 5: rolodex in my head that just keep squirting forward sentences
• 1:37
  Speaker 5: and not every sentence makes.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: It will be sponges that you keep squirting. Hopefully by
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: the end we'll be coming out of this a lot
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: wiser than before. And I do have to say, looking
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: divine and mustard.
• 1:50
  Speaker 4: So much or mota as we say France now made
• 1:55
  Speaker 4: that up.
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: I'll just stick with mustards.
• 1:59
  Speaker 4: I think it's best.
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: It's nice, it's a nice it's a lovely hint of yellow.
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: It is.
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: It's really I think I took my green jump rocks.
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: I thought we might look up the wigglers too much
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: in colors. I was like, oh fuck, I just put
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: my shirt, leave a white shirt.
• 2:13
  Speaker 4: It looks perfect.
• 2:14
  Speaker 5: I popped in this morning to get a higher car
• 2:16
  Speaker 5: with a non spawn high car company, and I was
• 2:18
  Speaker 5: in the company colors of myself because I was waiting.
• 2:22
  Speaker 4: They're like sorry to keep you waiting. I'm like, no,
• 2:24
  Speaker 4: you're not keeping me waiting. I'm in the company colors.
• 2:26
  Speaker 5: Everybody turns around to look at this maniac is now
• 2:29
  Speaker 5: yelling from the back of the non spot.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: Were people being just returning to my keys? Are much?
• 2:34
  Speaker 4: Why is that elderly lady.
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: Julia.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: If we go back, let's go back to the beginning.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: I want to know if a young Julia are much
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: younger Julia. Even if Julia, let's say, in a teenage years,
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: was she similar to how Julie is now.
• 2:52
  Speaker 5: I'd say exactly the same, but now with the confidence
• 2:56
  Speaker 5: to let some of those ideas out of the head
• 2:59
  Speaker 5: rather than keeping them to myself. But I definitely knew
• 3:03
  Speaker 5: I was going to be a parent. I never really
• 3:06
  Speaker 5: thought about how I wouldn't. That wasn't talked about when
• 3:09
  Speaker 5: I was in growing up. Sort of within the seventies
• 3:11
  Speaker 5: and the eighties, no one ever talked about the option
• 3:14
  Speaker 5: of not being a parent. So I just knew it
• 3:17
  Speaker 5: had happened at some time, and so by the time
• 3:19
  Speaker 5: I met my partner in my early thirties, we didn't
• 3:23
  Speaker 5: have our babies till I was thirty eight and forty.
• 3:26
  Speaker 4: For my second one.
• 3:27
  Speaker 5: Okay, so that was quite late for well for Goossen,
• 3:30
  Speaker 5: no judgment.
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: That was like that.
• 3:37
  Speaker 4: Oh yeah, we picked it up and put it there.
• 3:40
  Speaker 5: No we did.
• 3:41
  Speaker 4: That's too far, but we'll get in the right protection exactly.
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: Protection is.
• 3:45
  Speaker 5: And did lots of babysitting and I always enjoyed that, So.
• 3:50
  Speaker 4: Yes, I didn't. I thought that.
• 3:52
  Speaker 5: I thought that I would be a really chill, amazing
• 3:56
  Speaker 5: ready mum, when did.
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: You get your first taste of teav oh?
• 4:02
  Speaker 5: At seventeen, I was at Santa Sabina and Strathfield at
• 4:05
  Speaker 5: school doing the HSC and I snuck away from school
• 4:10
  Speaker 5: and did an audition for New Faces. Yeah, because I
• 4:13
  Speaker 5: thought I could sing. I never had a lesson. I'd
• 4:15
  Speaker 5: never sung in front of anybody. Did a lot of
• 4:18
  Speaker 5: you know, mirror time obviously in my own private.
• 4:22
  Speaker 4: Anywhere, any location.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: Lift What was the song you sang?
• 4:26
  Speaker 4: Holding out for a Hero?
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: I wish we had that audio it was.
• 4:32
  Speaker 4: Here, it would be I mean you'll hear it. It's
• 4:35
  Speaker 4: on the world wide Interweb.
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: Hope you've got it, juliamar is from to your South Wales.
• 4:43
  Speaker 5: Please, Okay, what you're looking at here is I borrowed
• 4:49
  Speaker 5: that top from my mum's friend Margot because I had.
• 4:51
  Speaker 4: Sparkles on it.
• 4:51
  Speaker 5: We were to show Biz family and I've got my
• 4:54
  Speaker 5: mother's graduation black jets on whenever I done to brag,
• 4:57
  Speaker 5: where are the good maga and where God I was
• 5:02
  Speaker 5: growing out what looks like the exact hair doo I've
• 5:05
  Speaker 5: got now and as it's a full Bob seventeen, she's
• 5:11
  Speaker 5: lifting at.
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: A really good singer.
• 5:14
  Speaker 4: I mean, you're very good.
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: Well.
• 5:16
  Speaker 5: When I when I when the letter came from Channel
• 5:18
  Speaker 5: nine to say you're in the show, my mother was like,
• 5:21
  Speaker 5: what is this because she'd open the letter.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: So what is that? They didn't know you auditioned?
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: No oh, So.
• 5:28
  Speaker 5: Literally stuck out from school and went and did the
• 5:30
  Speaker 5: audition in my kilt in my school killed and we
• 5:34
  Speaker 5: had a bowler hat.
• 5:34
  Speaker 4: Jesus A good look.
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: It's hot on the side.
• 5:36
  Speaker 4: Hot on the station.
• 5:37
  Speaker 5: Actually sometimes you're stand on st Stratfield station and you
• 5:40
  Speaker 5: could be kilt someone if you did the right run.
• 5:45
  Speaker 4: Up and got the little clip on the side loose.
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: The school are so mean.
• 5:49
  Speaker 4: I was kilted.
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: I was standing and that's how my first child was
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: but also.
• 5:55
  Speaker 5: Standing in a stocking sock, you know, I'm a non
• 5:58
  Speaker 5: all town station or somewhere like that was like, no,
• 6:00
  Speaker 5: it's not ideal.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: And so did you confide in anyone? Did you look
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: for you know, your friends and say I'm thinking about
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: doing this audition? Do you think I should should not?
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: Or did you just run with it?
• 6:10
  Speaker 4: I don't think so.
• 6:11
  Speaker 5: Like I have got a as a massive people pleaser,
• 6:15
  Speaker 5: I also have a really odd sense of self, Like
• 6:23
  Speaker 5: I just wake up happy most days just going I'm unreal,
• 6:26
  Speaker 5: Like I genuinely.
• 6:27
  Speaker 4: Feel like that.
• 6:27
  Speaker 5: Obviously you see a photo and you're like, wow, I
• 6:29
  Speaker 5: wonder who that strange fat boys in my dress?
• 6:31
  Speaker 4: But do you know what I mean?
• 6:33
  Speaker 5: Like just don't know the photos? I think is the
• 6:36
  Speaker 5: is the key there? But I have it's like a
• 6:39
  Speaker 5: it must be a mental health.
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: Condition, like your self confidence.
• 6:42
  Speaker 5: Yes, and I wonder if that is having a childhood
• 6:46
  Speaker 5: where I was from a family where there wasn't flowery
• 6:50
  Speaker 5: compliments in those days, the parenting was done in an
• 6:53
  Speaker 5: entirely different way, and it was sort of perfunctory. You know.
• 6:57
  Speaker 5: The idea was to get the children busy so that
• 6:59
  Speaker 5: you could have some time, which I mean hasn't changed
• 7:02
  Speaker 5: much better.
• 7:03
  Speaker 4: A lot of that time.
• 7:04
  Speaker 5: As long as the children were away, that was parenting.
• 7:08
  Speaker 5: As long as there's their silence was successful parenting back
• 7:11
  Speaker 5: in those days.
• 7:12
  Speaker 4: So you know, it wasn't the how do you.
• 7:14
  Speaker 5: Feel of these these days which are important times?
• 7:17
  Speaker 4: How do you feel as important?
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: So how did your parents respond to you being on TV?
• 7:22
  Speaker 4: They were kind of like, well, they did not say
• 7:26
  Speaker 4: can you even sing?
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: But they were like, well I do they musically inclined?
• 7:31
  Speaker 4: No.
• 7:32
  Speaker 5: No, My dad was track manager at Gosford Race Club,
• 7:37
  Speaker 5: but my mom worked as a secretary for Re Surger. Yeah,
• 7:41
  Speaker 5: I'm like, I'm going to go on showbiz. We had
• 7:43
  Speaker 5: to fly down. We didn't have much money growing up.
• 7:46
  Speaker 5: There was enough to survive and trailer lah, but so
• 7:48
  Speaker 5: my mum had to get the Channeline got me a
• 7:51
  Speaker 5: flight to go down because I was seventeen to shoot
• 7:53
  Speaker 5: the show in Melbourne. But we couldn't afford for my
• 7:56
  Speaker 5: mum to get the big fancy ticket of Ansett off
• 7:58
  Speaker 5: Thrilling Airlines. She had to do this what we called
• 8:01
  Speaker 5: back in the day a mail run where you get
• 8:03
  Speaker 5: on the plane in Sydney, then you stop in you
• 8:06
  Speaker 5: know Gold, then you stop at Wogger, then you stop
• 8:09
  Speaker 5: in West do that. Yeah, and then you and then
• 8:12
  Speaker 5: she was delivered at a similar time to me in Melbourne.
• 8:15
  Speaker 5: That's how we timed those flights four weeks.
• 8:19
  Speaker 4: She just had to get a twelve.
• 8:22
  Speaker 5: And I was like, I'll be up the front if
• 8:24
  Speaker 5: you need me, so and then we were in Melbourne.
• 8:29
  Speaker 4: It was so exciting. I've never been on a.
• 8:31
  Speaker 5: Plane before and came down and did the show and
• 8:34
  Speaker 5: got a tie.
• 8:35
  Speaker 4: First. You killed No, it's very d Yeah.
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: Full disclosure. We listened.
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: We watched that before you can and it was all
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: stuck in our heads and like we need to get it.
• 8:45
  Speaker 5: There says if you can't get a song out of
• 8:49
  Speaker 5: your head, give it a big finish.
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: We really need.
• 8:53
  Speaker 4: Out Hurrah.
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: It's definitely gone.
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: Now help with with boys coming off the back of
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: that performance.
• 9:05
  Speaker 4: No, because I was loud.
• 9:07
  Speaker 5: I was loud, and what I now suspect maybe ADHD,
• 9:11
  Speaker 5: which I know every young person is kind of like, well, yeah,
• 9:14
  Speaker 5: just have a look at you and listen.
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: To the rhythm sentence.
• 9:18
  Speaker 5: But I feel like in looking into that over the
• 9:20
  Speaker 5: last couple of years, I'm kind of not for me,
• 9:24
  Speaker 5: but I've been looking into it for me. But as
• 9:26
  Speaker 5: I started to read all the research. I'm like, oh
• 9:28
  Speaker 5: my god, that's my daily We.
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: Were talking about TikTok before and I watched one ADHD
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: video because I'm very suspecting myself, and then it's just like,
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: you must love this shit.
• 9:39
  Speaker 3: I'm just like, I have that I that I know.
• 9:42
  Speaker 5: But then those with diagnosis get super cross with the
• 9:46
  Speaker 5: US who just.
• 9:47
  Speaker 4: Assume I don't be rude. But for the moment, I
• 9:51
  Speaker 4: just don't want to drop the two grand on the test.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, ASH did do an online test like a
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: disco find questions the.
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: Website you need help as a business, decided to use
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: the money out of the business to make sure.
• 10:09
  Speaker 5: Well, what's what's interesting is the A and ADHD actually
• 10:12
  Speaker 5: stands for Ash and that's what I know about this
• 10:15
  Speaker 5: whole scene.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: Has it ever been a battle between wanting to be
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: in showbiz and then wanting to be a mum.
• 10:26
  Speaker 4: Because she's a great question.
• 10:28
  Speaker 5: No, Because in my life growing up, they ran alongside they.
• 10:33
  Speaker 5: My mother always worked, so that was absolutely modeled behavior
• 10:37
  Speaker 5: for me. And I knew, say, if I was away
• 10:41
  Speaker 5: for let's use the jungle as an example where I'm
• 10:43
  Speaker 5: away for six weeks, and I knew that the children
• 10:47
  Speaker 5: were with my husband in their home, in their schedule,
• 10:50
  Speaker 5: doing their things.
• 10:51
  Speaker 4: And there's one thing, of course, part of my brain
• 10:53
  Speaker 4: thinks everyone wants to come to Africa. They could just
• 10:56
  Speaker 4: hang away till.
• 10:57
  Speaker 5: I've finished work away and then we can walk around whatever. No,
• 11:01
  Speaker 5: because the kids have got no business with it. Certainly,
• 11:03
  Speaker 5: I feel like for the first nearly ten years, all
• 11:06
  Speaker 5: they want is that routine so they know where they're
• 11:09
  Speaker 5: up to.
• 11:09
  Speaker 4: But it's my brain that goes, we need a holiday,
• 11:12
  Speaker 4: should we do something?
• 11:15
  Speaker 5: But the kids, even my teenagers, have just recently let
• 11:18
  Speaker 5: me know we don't want to go away any for
• 11:20
  Speaker 5: the rest of the year with you.
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: I don't want to pry too much into the split,
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: but I am intrigued to know at what point do
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: you look at the relationship and go, do you know
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: what it's just best if we go our separate ways.
• 11:35
  Speaker 5: I reckon I felt that way. I saw it back
• 11:38
  Speaker 5: in previous interviews for nearly ten years.
• 11:42
  Speaker 4: Well, and after we broke up.
• 11:44
  Speaker 5: My agent said to me at the time, the agent
• 11:48
  Speaker 5: that I had at the time has remained a great friend.
• 11:50
  Speaker 4: She said, you said, ten years ago, how is this? I
• 11:53
  Speaker 4: don't even remember this, you said ten years ago?
• 11:56
  Speaker 5: I would leave him, but he would get the kids.
• 12:00
  Speaker 5: I was like, I don't remember saying that. I remember
• 12:02
  Speaker 5: feeling like that, but I don't remember saying that out
• 12:05
  Speaker 5: loud to another human because when you're married, it's just
• 12:07
  Speaker 5: you two doing that sort of chap back and forth
• 12:09
  Speaker 5: until you work it out in your head and if
• 12:11
  Speaker 5: you are lucky enough to have the window into a
• 12:13
  Speaker 5: psychologist that you trust, and you definitely get to sort
• 12:15
  Speaker 5: out your own mats in your own head. But I
• 12:18
  Speaker 5: was like, wow, I mean that was well now longer,
• 12:22
  Speaker 5: like twelve years ago.
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: So looking back at that, do you remember why you
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: would have potentially said that?
• 12:26
  Speaker 3: Do you know?
• 12:27
  Speaker 5: I think we were in a smart ass pattern, as in,
• 12:31
  Speaker 5: like we would saw if we had any issues with
• 12:33
  Speaker 5: each other, it'd be sorted out in a smart ass fashion.
• 12:36
  Speaker 4: Yes, So looking back, my wife's.
• 12:43
  Speaker 5: But a lot of that time, I think in those
• 12:45
  Speaker 5: first ten years, you just trying to hold on and
• 12:48
  Speaker 5: get through the day, and you cannot believe you'd never
• 12:50
  Speaker 5: been so busy in the whole of your life, and
• 12:51
  Speaker 5: it's so tired in the whole of your life. I
• 12:53
  Speaker 5: liken it to I'm working on the jungle. It's six
• 12:55
  Speaker 5: weeks it's a brutality that knows no bounds. It's like
• 12:59
  Speaker 5: six days a week, fourteen hour days. It's hardcore, right,
• 13:03
  Speaker 5: And by the end of the shoot and we're in
• 13:05
  Speaker 5: South Africa and we're having the best time, but all
• 13:06
  Speaker 5: you want to do is go home. And it's not
• 13:09
  Speaker 5: that you want to go home, it's that you want
• 13:10
  Speaker 5: to break from the relentlessness. Yeah yeah, So I'm like, no,
• 13:13
  Speaker 5: I'd rather I'm happy to stay in South Africa and
• 13:16
  Speaker 5: then do some more work maybe at the end of
• 13:17
  Speaker 5: next week.
• 13:18
  Speaker 4: But so I think parenting feels like that.
• 13:20
  Speaker 5: You actually just want this nightmare of everything to calm down.
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: Just for a moment, just to calm down.
• 13:28
  Speaker 4: Absolutely, So you're.
• 13:29
  Speaker 3: In the cycle of smart asks.
• 13:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so smarter.
• 13:32
  Speaker 5: So then we then we'd make up and we would
• 13:34
  Speaker 5: have a lovely time, and then I guess the pattern
• 13:38
  Speaker 5: of the smart ass would start again, and then a
• 13:41
  Speaker 5: bit of meanness and then the sweetness again. So you know,
• 13:46
  Speaker 5: and I think, if if I do have ADHD, I
• 13:49
  Speaker 5: might not have noticed all of those things happening, because
• 13:52
  Speaker 5: then we just get to a nice bit again.
• 13:53
  Speaker 4: Oh I got my husband.
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: Back when it came to the separation, At what point
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: did you decide that it was the right time to
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: tell all the kids?
• 14:01
  Speaker 5: Oh, well, we had we actually had a very nice
• 14:04
  Speaker 5: experience for the breakup moment because I had been to
• 14:09
  Speaker 5: the psychologist. I was just like, I cannot be back
• 14:11
  Speaker 5: here again, because I kept going back to the psychologist
• 14:14
  Speaker 5: going is this over?
• 14:15
  Speaker 4: And then somehow I'd just be like, oh.
• 14:16
  Speaker 5: Well, but just the basic maths of the breakup, I'm like,
• 14:20
  Speaker 5: I don't even know how to unweb that web. I
• 14:23
  Speaker 5: just not that I was staying in a dangerous situation.
• 14:27
  Speaker 5: Neither with my children. Let's speak definitely about that.
• 14:30
  Speaker 4: But I was just like.
• 14:32
  Speaker 5: It was literally too hard admin wise to leave because
• 14:37
  Speaker 5: because when we would have fights, I'd say, hey, listen,
• 14:40
  Speaker 5: that's the door.
• 14:42
  Speaker 4: So that's got a handle on it.
• 14:44
  Speaker 3: It's not that easy.
• 14:47
  Speaker 5: If this is all not working out for you, how
• 14:50
  Speaker 5: about your head on your way because we will survive beautifully.
• 14:54
  Speaker 5: So that threat I reckon I did every year for
• 14:58
  Speaker 5: ten years. Wow, But I know now that you know,
• 15:02
  Speaker 5: threats within relationships are bs.
• 15:05
  Speaker 4: They're just a.
• 15:06
  Speaker 5: Stupid move to get whatever reaction it is that you need,
• 15:09
  Speaker 5: or you know, whatever nurturing or response that you need.
• 15:13
  Speaker 5: So it was a Saturday morning, and I stayed in
• 15:15
  Speaker 5: bed because I was doing my like I just can't
• 15:17
  Speaker 5: speaking to melderstone bed for hours, and then I called
• 15:20
  Speaker 5: him up and I just said, hey, hey, listen, do
• 15:23
  Speaker 5: you know what. You're not happy and I'm not happy
• 15:26
  Speaker 5: and this is not really a way for us to live.
• 15:29
  Speaker 5: So I think we should consider separation. And I didn't
• 15:34
  Speaker 5: know how he would react. I didn't know if he's
• 15:36
  Speaker 5: going to get super angry, is he going to.
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: Laugh?
• 15:40
  Speaker 4: Is he going to don't? I didn't know what he
• 15:41
  Speaker 4: was going to do.
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: Did you have to build a courage up to have
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: that conversation? We just at a point you're ready for
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: that conversation.
• 15:49
  Speaker 4: But it was the culmination of all my flight and
• 15:52
  Speaker 4: fight and.
• 15:52
  Speaker 5: People all that, and so I was pretty calm about it,
• 15:58
  Speaker 5: and he said, oh thank god, because I feel the
• 16:01
  Speaker 5: same way. And then we sat on the bed together
• 16:07
  Speaker 5: and because we decided we'd heard this thing called nesting,
• 16:11
  Speaker 5: where you can if you are in the luxurious position
• 16:14
  Speaker 5: enough to be able to afford even one bedroom apartment,
• 16:17
  Speaker 5: I mean, as if anybody can afford a second place,
• 16:21
  Speaker 5: but you're going to have to be getting a divorce.
• 16:23
  Speaker 5: So we used that each parent would change and we
• 16:27
  Speaker 5: let me left it looking like a service department with
• 16:29
  Speaker 5: our little bits and pieces in it. And then week on,
• 16:32
  Speaker 5: week off, so the children stayed in the house and
• 16:34
  Speaker 5: we would move and I would pack our bags.
• 16:37
  Speaker 4: And we would go.
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: Kids were informed. They weren't just like where.
• 16:44
  Speaker 4: To your question? We told them the next day.
• 16:48
  Speaker 3: Wow that quick?
• 16:49
  Speaker 4: Well we just everything was about it.
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: Or did you just get around the table?
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: The reason I asked that, yes, my wife her parents
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: got to They're great. They're great friends now, which is great.
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: But they were on a cruise ship and and April
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: was sorry April were telling this story. By the way,
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: April's mum announced.
• 17:11
  Speaker 5: It at the captain's table.
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: But I picture the announcements.
• 17:17
  Speaker 4: Speaker, ladies and gentlemen.
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: Me and your father are getting divorced.
• 17:23
  Speaker 4: After many years of tennis.
• 17:28
  Speaker 3: This will be the last ship. We said they were.
• 17:31
  Speaker 5: They were kind of interesting because they were they were
• 17:34
  Speaker 5: thirteen and fifteen, as a kind of took it in
• 17:39
  Speaker 5: and then they had a little cry, and then they
• 17:42
  Speaker 5: popped upstairs because that was kind of their sanctuary, their
• 17:45
  Speaker 5: own bedrooms were where they you know, felt, I guess safest.
• 17:50
  Speaker 4: In life, as we all do.
• 17:52
  Speaker 5: And then they have told me since many times we
• 17:57
  Speaker 5: were just like it was a matter of time.
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: After you've made the decision, you've told the kids, it's
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: all out there with the family.
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: Did you feel a sense of relief.
• 18:05
  Speaker 5: Because you asked? You go through a similar to getting married.
• 18:10
  Speaker 5: You go through a honeymoon period.
• 18:12
  Speaker 4: So you're just like you are.
• 18:14
  Speaker 5: I just want the best for you, love and because
• 18:16
  Speaker 5: there was no there was no cheating or spookiness or whatever.
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: It would just run its course.
• 18:23
  Speaker 5: Yeah, and probably did a long time before that.
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: There's a honeymoon period, yes, post breakup.
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: So this slagh period.
• 18:32
  Speaker 5: Well, I think what happens is one partner usually goes
• 18:35
  Speaker 5: out and has a role around with literally everybody, and
• 18:37
  Speaker 5: then the other one, I don't know, does the cleanup.
• 18:39
  Speaker 4: I don't know what goes on.
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: Were you were you the cleanup or were you the I.
• 18:43
  Speaker 5: Was very I was very busy in my twenties and
• 18:46
  Speaker 5: my early thirties. I feel like I had my ration
• 18:50
  Speaker 5: of roots, and.
• 18:52
  Speaker 3: So he says, you need a Russian roots.
• 18:55
  Speaker 5: I mean everyone ration roots these days, you know we're
• 18:58
  Speaker 5: in difficult times.
• 19:01
  Speaker 4: Yeah, depression, I did not feel that at all.
• 19:04
  Speaker 5: I was just like all of a sudden, I had
• 19:07
  Speaker 5: to learn how to do the maths.
• 19:09
  Speaker 4: Like I hadn't done any of the bookwork in twenty years.
• 19:12
  Speaker 5: I hadn't put a tax return in my you know,
• 19:16
  Speaker 5: my company did all that, so instat of having a bookkeeper.
• 19:19
  Speaker 5: My ex did all of that. So I all of
• 19:22
  Speaker 5: a sudden had to learn who we bank with. And
• 19:25
  Speaker 5: I know there's lots of people who are like these days,
• 19:27
  Speaker 5: you're like, never ever lose your own bank account. You
• 19:30
  Speaker 5: must always keep your own bank account. But like where
• 19:34
  Speaker 5: were together for twenty years, we just all goes in
• 19:39
  Speaker 5: and I don't know, that's just how it was sort
• 19:41
  Speaker 5: of easier for us. So just getting all of that separated,
• 19:46
  Speaker 5: I reckon when I say honeymoon period, I didn't quite
• 19:48
  Speaker 5: realize that the admin avalanche was coming.
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: We chat about like the responsibilities that we have in
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: the house. So Matt, for example, when it comes to
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: the cars registration, getting them service.
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: Laura has no fucking clue.
• 20:02
  Speaker 3: Imagine all these things you have.
• 20:04
  Speaker 4: I mean it's everybody.
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: I kind of want them sacking an employee were you
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: working and they're like, oh, you've got to do their
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: work now.
• 20:09
  Speaker 5: Absolutely, I feel like I might have let go one
• 20:12
  Speaker 5: of the best executive assistants.
• 20:16
  Speaker 4: So the other.
• 20:19
  Speaker 5: Thing is it's very difficult to know how to parent
• 20:22
  Speaker 5: through that moment.
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: I think because you're like, who was your reference point
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: for how to do that right?
• 20:27
  Speaker 5: I don't know how you do it right. Nobody knows
• 20:30
  Speaker 5: how they're doing it right. Even the experts will tell
• 20:32
  Speaker 5: you what to do right, even they're not sure because
• 20:34
  Speaker 5: only you know.
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: Your kids what works for you, guys to absolutely and
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: you mentioned earlier.
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: It sort of helped you build this really good relationship
• 20:42
  Speaker 3: now with your.
• 20:42
  Speaker 5: Daughters, with the teenagers, all of a sudden, I oh no,
• 20:46
  Speaker 5: this is going to sound bizarre, but they sort of
• 20:48
  Speaker 5: became my partner the.
• 20:49
  Speaker 4: Time and effort and conversation, and so just as soon
• 20:57
  Speaker 4: as they've registered my car.
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: Insurance, they so.
• 21:04
  Speaker 5: Instead of sitting on the couch, what by myself watching
• 21:06
  Speaker 5: a movie good times, I'll duck up and be like,
• 21:08
  Speaker 5: do you want those the things?
• 21:10
  Speaker 4: You know?
• 21:10
  Speaker 5: Like, so I sort of become Actually it's a reversal
• 21:13
  Speaker 5: of roles. I've become their pa. I become their loving pa.
• 21:16
  Speaker 5: But I have been definitely putting much more loving, farer
• 21:24
  Speaker 5: time into them.
• 21:25
  Speaker 4: Because so that entire section of your life.
• 21:31
  Speaker 5: That does take up time that you want it to
• 21:32
  Speaker 5: take up time you want to step out and update
• 21:34
  Speaker 5: nights you want to be That's all I wanted to
• 21:36
  Speaker 5: do was just a faster hang and be together. So
• 21:40
  Speaker 5: you know, yeah, putting that time now into the children
• 21:43
  Speaker 5: and teenagers are fantastic, I think with boundaries so they'll
• 21:47
  Speaker 5: be like, you can leave the room.
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: I was going to ask, do they welcome that enough?
• 21:54
  Speaker 5: If I like, I take a twenty second travel tax
• 21:57
  Speaker 5: hug if they cross my path.
• 21:59
  Speaker 4: I see. I'm literally the only.
• 22:00
  Speaker 5: Way, the only way you can get your hands on
• 22:03
  Speaker 5: like teenagers literally, oh my god, please, let's think about
• 22:07
  Speaker 5: that sentence.
• 22:08
  Speaker 4: What I mean is, of course, I.
• 22:11
  Speaker 5: Had one of my teenagers tell me this is big
• 22:14
  Speaker 5: two years ago when all the upheople was going on,
• 22:17
  Speaker 5: and she said, I would like to be asked permission
• 22:20
  Speaker 5: for hugs.
• 22:22
  Speaker 4: And I was like, at the time.
• 22:27
  Speaker 5: Excuse me, DNA, and there is And we were definitely
• 22:32
  Speaker 5: raised by parents who had that sense of ownership.
• 22:34
  Speaker 4: Us think so and it makes.
• 22:36
  Speaker 5: Sense, like, you know, I have created every living moment
• 22:40
  Speaker 5: for your life for the last however long, I.
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: Will get a fucking hug whenever I want I'll be.
• 22:45
  Speaker 4: Stepping up anyway, of course I can.
• 22:47
  Speaker 5: You can hear all of that as I'm saying it now,
• 22:50
  Speaker 5: So then I'm like, hang on, I couldn't just walk
• 22:52
  Speaker 5: up to someone on the street and.
• 22:53
  Speaker 4: Have a hug, so why you can?
• 22:55
  Speaker 5: So I'm definitely in that age group of one foot
• 22:58
  Speaker 5: in the how very dare you hugged me when I want?
• 23:01
  Speaker 5: And the age group of you are absolutely entired to
• 23:04
  Speaker 5: put your boundaries in it. If you don't feel like
• 23:06
  Speaker 5: being bear hugged by big old Mama.
• 23:09
  Speaker 4: Then absolutely so.
• 23:12
  Speaker 5: They have been able to teach me lots of new ways,
• 23:16
  Speaker 5: to be sure. And but Sophie is mad for a hug,
• 23:19
  Speaker 5: So she gets the twenty she gets the twenty second
• 23:21
  Speaker 5: travel tax hug, and then Ruby when she's ready, she likes.
• 23:24
  Speaker 3: She shows a lot of maturity.
• 23:26
  Speaker 4: Yeah, well she'll stepped forward. Oh my god, Ruby's like
• 23:29
  Speaker 4: the guru. Ruby is like a full guru.
• 23:32
  Speaker 5: So I'm speaking to her in the jungle a couple
• 23:33
  Speaker 5: of weeks ago because they were a home with a
• 23:36
  Speaker 5: sleepover nannie.
• 23:36
  Speaker 4: That's the one thing about having older children.
• 23:39
  Speaker 5: You don't need a nanny, but you don't need an
• 23:40
  Speaker 5: adult in the house. So they don't want to be
• 23:43
  Speaker 5: told what to do, they don't want to bed time.
• 23:44
  Speaker 5: They you know, they're happy to prepare their own dinner
• 23:47
  Speaker 5: and partter and do their own well, they do their
• 23:49
  Speaker 5: own washing. But I came under thirty one lads of washing.
• 23:52
  Speaker 5: Thirty one lads of washing that thirty I can't stop.
• 23:56
  Speaker 4: Oh mind you I did. I got it to ground zero,
• 23:58
  Speaker 4: no tom and four days non stop, day and night.
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: Lockdown.
• 24:05
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 24:05
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's not ideal. Anyway.
• 24:06
  Speaker 5: When I rang Rude, you had these phone calls where
• 24:08
  Speaker 5: we start and how are you?
• 24:10
  Speaker 4: And did it and having a chat.
• 24:12
  Speaker 5: And then all of a sudden like seriously, but love,
• 24:15
  Speaker 5: can we do or if that bin doesn't go out,
• 24:17
  Speaker 5: it's going to stink after two.
• 24:18
  Speaker 4: Weeks or whatever.
• 24:19
  Speaker 5: The pedestrian conversation was that we were having and she said, hey, Mom,
• 24:23
  Speaker 5: when you call when you're away, I reckon focus on
• 24:27
  Speaker 5: the things we're doing.
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: Right, Gosh, she's good school, just good.
• 24:32
  Speaker 5: Got so then you're like I got off the phone
• 24:36
  Speaker 5: from that. So when I was married and years ago,
• 24:39
  Speaker 5: I would have been like, don't speak to me like that.
• 24:41
  Speaker 4: Excuse me.
• 24:41
  Speaker 5: I think you'll find like all of that. But since
• 24:44
  Speaker 5: that big shift I'm kind.
• 24:46
  Speaker 4: Of like, you're absolutely right.
• 24:49
  Speaker 5: But I went away and thought about it and thought,
• 24:51
  Speaker 5: I do that all the time.
• 24:53
  Speaker 4: Are the bins out did it? Double checking? The fifty
• 24:55
  Speaker 4: lists have already left for them, They've already done it.
• 24:59
  Speaker 5: They don't do it when I'm at home because they're slow,
• 25:01
  Speaker 5: and I'll do that, and trials they kind of turn
• 25:05
  Speaker 5: into the you know, they kind of turn into their flatmates.
• 25:09
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 25:09
  Speaker 3: Absolutely, If I don't do it, no one's going to
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: do it.
• 25:12
  Speaker 5: But it's a very interesting window into parenting actually for
• 25:15
  Speaker 5: children at any age. So instead of like, don't don't
• 25:18
  Speaker 5: swing on that because you're going to fall off and
• 25:20
  Speaker 5: hit your head, and a little like we do is
• 25:23
  Speaker 5: just to go the swing goes high.
• 25:25
  Speaker 4: You're to be a great job of it. Are you
• 25:27
  Speaker 4: feeling secure on it? Unreal? And allowing them.
• 25:29
  Speaker 5: To be part of the decision process because I think
• 25:32
  Speaker 5: and then figure it out. I mean for fifteen and
• 25:34
  Speaker 5: beyond years as parents, we take so many of their
• 25:37
  Speaker 5: decisions away from them.
• 25:38
  Speaker 4: They're simply not allowed. When they're little.
• 25:40
  Speaker 5: You can just pick it, pick them up, oh, and
• 25:42
  Speaker 5: remove them from that situation.
• 25:44
  Speaker 3: I love the power.
• 25:45
  Speaker 5: But then guess what every I think it is like
• 25:49
  Speaker 5: terrible twos. But if you don't deal with your terrible
• 25:51
  Speaker 5: twos three, stand by for ten, and then if.
• 25:54
  Speaker 4: You haven't dealt with them for ten, stand by seventeen,
• 25:58
  Speaker 4: and then if you're still haven't dealt with it by seven.
• 26:01
  Speaker 5: They knew it's someone who loves to get off their
• 26:03
  Speaker 5: nut in their twenties, be on their capabilities so that
• 26:07
  Speaker 5: the learning to say no to children kindly and properly.
• 26:12
  Speaker 5: I think it goes a long way to helping some
• 26:15
  Speaker 5: of those stages because they literally just turn again. You're like, oh,
• 26:18
  Speaker 5: we're back to baby throw yourself on the floor package
• 26:20
  Speaker 5: practically yeah.
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: I said to my five or nearly five year old,
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: I was like, are we going to have to get
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: you a cot? And he whatever he was doing, he
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: stopped it immediately. Such a baby.
• 26:31
  Speaker 3: I was like, little sisters in the cot, you're on
• 26:33
  Speaker 3: a swap and she can have a big bed.
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: Can I ask if we go back to when the
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: kids are a bit younger? And I do. It's a
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: very cliche term and everyone throws it out all the time,
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: and I'm going to do it, so I apologize in advance.
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: But the juggling act of being a parent. For you,
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: it was a bit more full on because you've always
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: worked incredibly hard. Yeah, and you've had periods where you've
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: been in the States, you have periods where you've been
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: in the UK. What was it like trying to juggle
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: all that whilst also trying to raise two girls.
• 27:06
  Speaker 5: Until they're five That you I was under the impression
• 27:09
  Speaker 5: they just come with you, we just go together.
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: You just took them everywhere pretty much. Wow.
• 27:14
  Speaker 5: But what I think that did now looking back mental
• 27:17
  Speaker 5: health wise, is it that gave them too many changes.
• 27:21
  Speaker 5: They'd make friends and we'd move countries. Then they'd make
• 27:24
  Speaker 5: friends and we'd move countries. And so if I had
• 27:28
  Speaker 5: my time over, I'm not sure I would have pursued
• 27:32
  Speaker 5: more global stuff at that time. I think I would
• 27:36
  Speaker 5: rather have now, be hindsight, I would have just gone
• 27:39
  Speaker 5: into one place and stayed there and started that safe
• 27:42
  Speaker 5: nurturing earlier of like everything's fy and nothing's going to change.
• 27:46
  Speaker 5: We got to the point where we'd moved house, some
• 27:47
  Speaker 5: houses so many times that when we would move house,
• 27:49
  Speaker 5: the girls would get beside themselves thinking some of their
• 27:53
  Speaker 5: stuff would go missing. Because in the early days we
• 27:55
  Speaker 5: were thought we were clever we'd get rid of all.
• 27:56
  Speaker 4: This shit we didn't like in the movies. Then you
• 27:59
  Speaker 4: get to the movie and then we'd.
• 28:00
  Speaker 5: Be like, I don't know where the you know, the
• 28:04
  Speaker 5: Turlember seven foot turtle went.
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: I remember the most random ship.
• 28:08
  Speaker 5: And also then they start to get worried that their
• 28:11
  Speaker 5: stuff is going to go missing because there's just no.
• 28:13
  Speaker 4: Reason for it.
• 28:15
  Speaker 5: So that's it, you know, all those tricks that we
• 28:17
  Speaker 5: think we do, like if you don't go to school,
• 28:19
  Speaker 5: the police are going to come, all of that sort
• 28:21
  Speaker 5: of stuff.
• 28:22
  Speaker 4: It just I'm telling you it's coming back to buy you.
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: That's clever because we did.
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: We did talk about that and people are like, no, no,
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: you need to make sure that they that they look
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: at the police like they're there.
• 28:32
  Speaker 3: To protect you. Y scared, and I was like, what
• 28:35
  Speaker 3: if we threaten them with?
• 28:37
  Speaker 5: And also, to be fair, a lot of that parenting
• 28:39
  Speaker 5: between what two and five is kind of threats, bribes
• 28:43
  Speaker 5: and maybe a little bit of reasoning.
• 28:46
  Speaker 4: So but but I also think the continued jumping all
• 28:51
  Speaker 4: over subjects. There's no way I've got IDHD. We're all
• 28:57
  Speaker 4: because I got that there.
• 28:58
  Speaker 5: You know, I've been very present in my parenting, But
• 29:00
  Speaker 5: I think moving all over the place. I'm not sure
• 29:04
  Speaker 5: was one of the better decisions that we made.
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: Well. One thing that I struggle with as a parent
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: is on Thursdays, I've got both girls and it's it's
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: our daddy day, and it's one day of the week
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: where I can. Laura's at work, and so it's easier
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: for me to give them attention, for them to want
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: the attention from me when no one else around. But
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: I struggle with the fact that because I'm working Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday,
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: work just kind of spills over and I'll be trying
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: to play like a picnic with the kids, but I'm
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: trying to check my emails or I've got.
• 29:37
  Speaker 4: When you're running your own business like that, huh.
• 29:39
  Speaker 3: Do you ever?
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: Did you ever struggle with that type of guilt when
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: you're you've got a big show coming up and you're
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: trying to play with girls, but at the same time
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: you're worrying about, oh fuck, I've got a huge stand
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: up gig where I'm opening it.
• 29:49
  Speaker 5: You would just you just do your parenting, because that's
• 29:51
  Speaker 5: that job that you just do, and then I go
• 29:53
  Speaker 5: to the shows at night. I always knew if the
• 29:55
  Speaker 5: family came to if I was doing a comedy festival,
• 29:57
  Speaker 5: for example, I knew it was going to be a
• 29:59
  Speaker 5: punish because every other comic sort of can have a
• 30:02
  Speaker 5: little sleep in or if you know, you can step
• 30:04
  Speaker 5: out after the show. Whereas when you're family at home,
• 30:07
  Speaker 5: guess what, those kids up early, so.
• 30:09
  Speaker 4: You kin'd of I can't get into bed later than
• 30:11
  Speaker 4: you get.
• 30:12
  Speaker 3: On performing at night too. Then you yeah, chinige too.
• 30:15
  Speaker 5: Late for your maximum level of energy at between nine
• 30:18
  Speaker 5: thirty and ten thirty.
• 30:20
  Speaker 4: I know, I know. And then and then let's go
• 30:24
  Speaker 4: to the park.
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: I like to see.
• 30:26
  Speaker 5: I'm going to get on that film the Battle Border,
• 30:30
  Speaker 5: and then I joined to the gig.
• 30:32
  Speaker 4: I'll be so wingy. That's the other thing.
• 30:34
  Speaker 5: When you do have a partner, I think, I think
• 30:36
  Speaker 5: you just get really wingy. I'm so so wingy, so
• 30:42
  Speaker 5: getting out anything.
• 30:44
  Speaker 3: Just like this Stuary to day.
• 30:45
  Speaker 4: You shouldn't have said that, or the girl.
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: There's one particular story when you talk about you've got work,
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: you just got to show up, get it done, move on.
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: There's one particular story that I heard about. It was
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: a long time ago, but you're a flight by.
• 31:01
  Speaker 4: The South Africa flight.
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it.
• 31:04
  Speaker 4: Wasn't for I'm a celebrity. It was okay. So Dan
• 31:07
  Speaker 4: and I were not married, we were engaged to be married.
• 31:11
  Speaker 5: And then I felt pregnant and I had to go
• 31:14
  Speaker 5: to do the Cape Town Comedy Festival.
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: So it's just prenancy number one.
• 31:18
  Speaker 5: Yeah, and so the Cape Town Comedy festivals for six weeks.
• 31:23
  Speaker 5: So I didn't want to, you know, annoy them by
• 31:26
  Speaker 5: telling them, but I was still looking after myself and
• 31:28
  Speaker 5: doing that sothing, you know, having it's.
• 31:29
  Speaker 4: All, well, this is exciting.
• 31:30
  Speaker 5: We knew we were going to get married anyway, so this,
• 31:32
  Speaker 5: you li like, is just a different order.
• 31:34
  Speaker 4: No one cares.
• 31:35
  Speaker 5: So six weeks in Cape Town meant that we were
• 31:38
  Speaker 5: just in you know, phone contact. London had been that
• 31:42
  Speaker 5: big bombing the buses and the normal line, and so
• 31:47
  Speaker 5: I went to fly home after the six weeks. The
• 31:49
  Speaker 5: comedy festival was a great success, and I was tickety
• 31:52
  Speaker 5: boo and I got onto the flight and I realized
• 31:56
  Speaker 5: that I thought, oh, I'm bleeding as I was getting
• 31:59
  Speaker 5: on the flight. Nothing with me, no preparation, no nothing.
• 32:02
  Speaker 5: And it's a nine and a half hour flight, right, Yeah.
• 32:05
  Speaker 5: So for some reason I went to the bathroom and
• 32:07
  Speaker 5: I was like, oh okay. So I was in the
• 32:10
  Speaker 5: bathroom of age and I'm like, okay, this is happening.
• 32:13
  Speaker 5: That's okay, this is happening.
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: So did you think instantly like this isn't good or
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: this is I.
• 32:19
  Speaker 4: Just assumed if you're bleeding, it's not good.
• 32:21
  Speaker 3: And we hear you do.
• 32:23
  Speaker 5: Hear lots of success stories as well where there was
• 32:26
  Speaker 5: bleeding and then you know twins have been born or whatever.
• 32:28
  Speaker 4: So yeah, definitely you can definitely there for.
• 32:31
  Speaker 3: Someone with two kids. I'm very green on this subject.
• 32:35
  Speaker 5: So I was sitting next to the comedian Andrew Maxwell,
• 32:37
  Speaker 5: who is very funny Irish comedian, and I came back
• 32:41
  Speaker 5: from the bathroom and he goes, how long was the.
• 32:44
  Speaker 4: Pooh that you had? But you were in the bathroom?
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: Now sorry sorry, we.
• 32:51
  Speaker 5: Do have a little bit of gallows humor in comedy world.
• 32:54
  Speaker 5: And I just thought of I was, but I was
• 32:56
  Speaker 5: so totally forgiven for the Joe. I had no idea
• 32:58
  Speaker 5: and I just said a miscarriage. And he had a child,
• 33:02
  Speaker 5: he already had he was a partner and a child.
• 33:05
  Speaker 5: So he was just like, okay, what do we doing
• 33:09
  Speaker 5: sort of swung into action.
• 33:10
  Speaker 4: Do you want me to go and what do I
• 33:11
  Speaker 4: need to find?
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: Do you want to get off?
• 33:14
  Speaker 4: Find a pad or something. He was just this glorious
• 33:17
  Speaker 4: human who got it.
• 33:18
  Speaker 3: I think turned into a paramedic.
• 33:21
  Speaker 4: You've got a child.
• 33:22
  Speaker 5: Every man who has a child, who's been there for
• 33:24
  Speaker 5: the birth, you kind of are a paramedic.
• 33:27
  Speaker 3: So I wasn't there for mine.
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: You're you're in the air, yeah, and.
• 33:34
  Speaker 5: I know it's eight and a half hours to go.
• 33:37
  Speaker 5: And then the pain started, like the proper period pain,
• 33:40
  Speaker 5: weirdness where you think the bottom of your pelvis is
• 33:42
  Speaker 5: going to fall off.
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: So there was really take word for it.
• 33:44
  Speaker 5: I kind of just had to sit there and that long, yeah,
• 33:47
  Speaker 5: And I was sort of I did I guess I
• 33:49
  Speaker 5: was sitting there along as kind of the sadness of oh,
• 33:53
  Speaker 5: but I also knew we'd try again. I got home
• 33:57
  Speaker 5: from that big tour and I was tired anyway a
• 33:59
  Speaker 5: little bit like I am now I've just finished the
• 34:00
  Speaker 5: jungle and you're so kind of erratic and chatty and whatever,
• 34:04
  Speaker 5: and I just Andrew Maxwell and his partner picked me
• 34:09
  Speaker 5: up at the airport and drove me straight to the
• 34:11
  Speaker 5: hospital and my partner met me there. So then you
• 34:16
  Speaker 5: just do all the grown up stuff at the hospital,
• 34:17
  Speaker 5: and you kind of go home and just think, well,
• 34:21
  Speaker 5: this is shit.
• 34:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, do you remember that feeling? Yeah.
• 34:24
  Speaker 5: I I also as buoyed by the thought I'm just
• 34:27
  Speaker 5: going to get back on it, like I just I
• 34:30
  Speaker 5: would like to be pregnant. I was thirty eight, and
• 34:33
  Speaker 5: then I started to think, which again fertility wasn't talked
• 34:36
  Speaker 5: about as much as that. This is you know what,
• 34:38
  Speaker 5: I my fifty six, it's just eighteen years ago.
• 34:41
  Speaker 3: Your math is outstanding.
• 34:45
  Speaker 4: That's ridiculous. Gat I even got at math, so that's
• 34:49
  Speaker 4: not ideal. That's cold. I'm doing the accounting guys whatever.
• 34:53
  Speaker 5: Yeah, and so yes, kind of, I don't know. I
• 34:56
  Speaker 5: think I took, however, many weeks on the couch to
• 34:59
  Speaker 5: just you know, feel sad and sorry and have a
• 35:02
  Speaker 5: dry glass of dry white wine, and I think, yeah,
• 35:07
  Speaker 5: I think I was just like, oh my god, my
• 35:08
  Speaker 5: body's not working.
• 35:10
  Speaker 4: I hope this is not how it's going to be.
• 35:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 35:13
  Speaker 5: Yeah, But I'm also like the roller deck just keeps
• 35:15
  Speaker 5: rolling in my head. So I'm kind of like, I
• 35:17
  Speaker 5: actually just want to feel better. But it was weeks
• 35:19
  Speaker 5: of sitting there feeling sad and sorry.
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: We Laura has had two miscarriages, and I went through
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: a period where I was sounds really weird and if
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: anyone who has experienced it may not understand. But I
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: mourned my child, which was you know, when we lost
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: it was it was very very early in the stages
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: of pregnancy. But did you feel like you had to
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: mourn this child.
• 35:41
  Speaker 5: That I I don't. I don't think that I felt.
• 35:46
  Speaker 5: I did feel that sadness of.
• 35:48
  Speaker 4: Lass, so I can't of course that's morning, But I
• 35:54
  Speaker 4: don't know.
• 35:55
  Speaker 5: I feel like I was, like anything in my life
• 35:58
  Speaker 5: that I haven't done well or that I haven't been
• 36:01
  Speaker 5: able to succeed, that I was just keen.
• 36:02
  Speaker 4: To try again.
• 36:03
  Speaker 5: Yeah, okay, So I don't think I had it because
• 36:07
  Speaker 5: it was it was. Yeah, I'm just not sure that
• 36:11
  Speaker 5: I had fully absorbed the idea of it into my
• 36:16
  Speaker 5: life yet because of the don't tell anyone for twelve weeks.
• 36:20
  Speaker 5: I mean I literally just hit the twelve week moment.
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: So no one your really close friends that they didn't know.
• 36:27
  Speaker 4: On the mouth of the South, I told everyone.
• 36:30
  Speaker 5: No, But then you've got to bring around and tell
• 36:32
  Speaker 5: everybody there.
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: I reckon, that's better. I reckon. People say, don't tell
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: anyone to twelve weeks, I say, shut up, tell everyone,
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: because otherwise people don't know what you're going through. And
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: so why is Laura in the mood this week calling
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: me that, yeah, because we just lost to.
• 36:48
  Speaker 5: I think when you're actually going through stuff, I find
• 36:51
  Speaker 5: I'm very talkative about all sorts of issues in my life,
• 36:54
  Speaker 5: which is when I'm actually going through it, it's like
• 36:57
  Speaker 5: it's a you know, media shutout. It's like a full lockdown.
• 37:01
  Speaker 5: I just don't really talk about it everywhere. And I'm
• 37:03
  Speaker 5: not really a person who would pick up the phone
• 37:06
  Speaker 5: and just go I'm not doing well.
• 37:09
  Speaker 4: Would you come around?
• 37:11
  Speaker 5: So I don't reach out like that. I kind of
• 37:13
  Speaker 5: self source. I think I know that hyperindependence is for
• 37:17
  Speaker 5: a reason.
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: Back on Matt's point, where it's like that for those
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: first twelve weeks where you're you know, both mum and
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: dad or whatever.
• 37:23
  Speaker 5: The situation, you're like, don't buy clothes, don't buy clothes,
• 37:26
  Speaker 5: like you're doing all of that, which is so excited
• 37:28
  Speaker 5: because you know we wanted it so much.
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: I feel like it should be way more spoken about
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: those times, the conversations you have with your friends about
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: what's happening, what's happening now, what's coming up, what you're doing,
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: how you're feeling it should be, should be I remember
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: April being like, don't tell anyone, and at the time
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: you're like, yeah, that makes sense. But now in hindsight,
• 37:51
  Speaker 2: looking back and some of the struggles to see people
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: go through, and especially doing this podcast now where we
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: get to meet people that you have had this and
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: I've never had that situation, I think it should be like,
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: celebrate your ins, talk out your loss.
• 38:03
  Speaker 4: Yeah, definitely.
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: Whoever made that rule of twelve weeks don't say anything
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: fuck you?
• 38:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's that.
• 38:12
  Speaker 5: Old fashioned so that I mean, maybe the twelve weeks
• 38:14
  Speaker 5: gives women a chance not to be.
• 38:16
  Speaker 3: Fired, maybe, but that's also illegal.
• 38:20
  Speaker 5: No, I spoke the words, so I didn't seeing it,
• 38:26
  Speaker 5: so we don't have to pay for it.
• 38:28
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but I think within twelve months we'd had Ruby.
• 38:35
  Speaker 5: But the thing is, I would love people to speak
• 38:38
  Speaker 5: about it more because what it will give us is
• 38:41
  Speaker 5: a proper spectrum, windows snap whatever is the expression into
• 38:47
  Speaker 5: the many different feelings you can have about it.
• 38:49
  Speaker 4: So, like you say, when you're.
• 38:51
  Speaker 5: Talking about the mourning, the loss of what could have
• 38:54
  Speaker 5: been within our family, whereas I was in a different
• 38:56
  Speaker 5: headspace of I just want to get on with trying
• 38:58
  Speaker 5: again because I want that's that to go away, because
• 39:00
  Speaker 5: that sadness will be replenished by the happiness.
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: I think a lot of young couples are shocked with
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: the amount of variation.
• 39:09
  Speaker 4: It's one in four pregnancy exactly right.
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: And it's kind of like you were saying, people need
• 39:14
  Speaker 2: to talk about it way more, which is so true,
• 39:16
  Speaker 2: so that you kind of know and you have your
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: expectations are there, like for me and I hate being
• 39:22
  Speaker 2: that guy where it's like, you know, we had two
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: successful pregnancy.
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: Fuck you sorry, how dare you?
• 39:30
  Speaker 3: I wouldn't I didn't know any different. I didn't know.
• 39:34
  Speaker 3: I didn't know that there could be in all these variations.
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: And it's like now that you know, as a young
• 39:38
  Speaker 2: couple going into it, if you don't know that and
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: then all of a sudden, it's a.
• 39:41
  Speaker 3: Big shock when it happens. Kind Of like I think,
• 39:44
  Speaker 3: if you're talking about it more than you know what
• 39:46
  Speaker 3: the expectation is and that it could.
• 39:48
  Speaker 4: Happen, all of that knowledge is helpful.
• 39:50
  Speaker 5: I mean that doesn't stop the hurd or the moment
• 39:52
  Speaker 5: or any of that sort of stuff, but you know
• 39:56
  Speaker 5: if if when you get the pregnancy test, you already
• 39:59
  Speaker 5: know you I've sort of got twelve weeks that may
• 40:02
  Speaker 5: or may not.
• 40:03
  Speaker 4: I know that's so harsh as I say it out loud,
• 40:05
  Speaker 4: I think because I am long on the other side
• 40:07
  Speaker 4: of it. But you know, I.
• 40:11
  Speaker 5: Yeah, it's so individual, and it's you know, each couple.
• 40:17
  Speaker 5: Sometimes within the couple, one person is grieving a lot
• 40:20
  Speaker 5: harder than the other. So you've sort of got to
• 40:23
  Speaker 5: look after yourself a little bit at that time too,
• 40:26
  Speaker 5: because yeah, no one knows how hardcore it is except
• 40:30
  Speaker 5: inside your head.
• 40:31
  Speaker 3: For sure.
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: Did it impact how anxious you felt then when you
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: feel pregnant.
• 40:34
  Speaker 5: Again, definitely, because I didn't believe it. So I'm like,
• 40:36
  Speaker 5: this is not going to last. I was in that
• 40:38
  Speaker 5: head space, this is definitely not going to last. It's
• 40:40
  Speaker 5: not going to last. It's not going to last. And
• 40:42
  Speaker 5: then you know, all of those correct targets started to go,
• 40:46
  Speaker 5: and every doctor's appointment, every moment, every you know, even
• 40:50
  Speaker 5: if there's you know, sometimes when you get a fluffy
• 40:52
  Speaker 5: that moves around your stomach, that's trying to find where
• 40:53
  Speaker 5: the bottom is, any movement.
• 40:59
  Speaker 4: Any movement like what's happening? So it definitely. Yeah, it
• 41:04
  Speaker 4: took six months in to believe it was.
• 41:08
  Speaker 3: Is that something I mean?
• 41:09
  Speaker 4: I think I am.
• 41:10
  Speaker 5: Anyway, it's a fluffy on the moon, Julie.
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: This may come as a surprise to you, but the
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: topic of menopause is one that Ash and myself don't
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: have a lot of experience with.
• 41:27
  Speaker 3: The word itself. Men are pause and we have no
• 41:29
  Speaker 3: idea what.
• 41:30
  Speaker 5: No one ever wants to pause a man because I've
• 41:32
  Speaker 5: got so much good stuff to say.
• 41:34
  Speaker 3: Thank you, I've always said that, correct.
• 41:38
  Speaker 5: Look, I feel like there's a lot of chat about
• 41:42
  Speaker 5: it more and more, which is fantastic. I think when
• 41:46
  Speaker 5: it happened for me, I was forty five, which is
• 41:48
  Speaker 5: very yack.
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: When it starts to happen, what are the first symptoms?
• 41:51
  Speaker 5: Okay, so what happens is basically it's the body slowing
• 41:54
  Speaker 5: down because obviously no no longer needs to make a baby, right,
• 41:57
  Speaker 5: So all of those areas go. You know, it's time
• 41:59
  Speaker 5: for us to come shut up shop. So in shutting
• 42:02
  Speaker 5: up shop, the body's like no, I'm not letting go.
• 42:05
  Speaker 4: I'm not letting go.
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: In a turmoil, yeah, it's like no.
• 42:07
  Speaker 4: No, no, no, I'm not letting go of my youth.
• 42:09
  Speaker 5: So then it sends these surges of hormones through your
• 42:13
  Speaker 5: body going not letting go. I'm not letting go. And
• 42:16
  Speaker 5: every time one of those surges happen, you're like, get
• 42:19
  Speaker 5: your clothes off, get your clothes, and you feel like
• 42:22
  Speaker 5: you've run a marathon.
• 42:24
  Speaker 4: And also it has this sk heat.
• 42:28
  Speaker 5: It's crazy, and that's when the aggression can not for everybody.
• 42:34
  Speaker 5: The aggression can start then where you've got absolutely zero patients.
• 42:40
  Speaker 5: That's when I started to see a psychologist because I
• 42:43
  Speaker 5: thought I am going to bash someone to death in
• 42:46
  Speaker 5: the street, because that's how that's the term my inner turmoil.
• 42:49
  Speaker 5: That's how I felt. I'm like, I'm going to I'm.
• 42:50
  Speaker 4: Going to fucking take someone out, excuse my language.
• 42:52
  Speaker 5: So I went to see the psychologists and she's kind
• 42:55
  Speaker 5: of like, have you seen the GP about I'm.
• 42:57
  Speaker 4: Like, now, I'm forty five, and she's okay.
• 43:00
  Speaker 5: So what happens is these are the stages you've got perimenopause,
• 43:03
  Speaker 5: and that's when your body goes I'm thinking of shutting
• 43:05
  Speaker 5: up shop soon. That can take I mean, perimenopause can
• 43:08
  Speaker 5: take anything up to two or three years of just
• 43:11
  Speaker 5: the solid other rock intensity and I feel like you've
• 43:18
  Speaker 5: reached this professional apex where you're this dreamboat of an
• 43:21
  Speaker 5: employee for all of your life, and you hit that
• 43:24
  Speaker 5: moment of perimenopause and you just turn into the absolute
• 43:27
  Speaker 5: antithesis of everything you've worked for. I was nasty, how
• 43:32
  Speaker 5: dare you? But like be impatient and it's an OMG.
• 43:36
  Speaker 5: And then every time one of those surges happens, I
• 43:38
  Speaker 5: feel like it surges up a little bit of aggression
• 43:40
  Speaker 5: as well.
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: It's pretty hand, it's lovely.
• 43:43
  Speaker 5: Then your periods decide that they may or may not come.
• 43:45
  Speaker 5: I might, I might be here this month or not
• 43:48
  Speaker 5: hit next month.
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: Now, what's a period?
• 43:50
  Speaker 2: So they're like a really untrustworthy friend, ah, never turning up,
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: turns up when you least expect.
• 43:58
  Speaker 3: Oh.
• 43:58
  Speaker 4: Absolutely so.
• 43:59
  Speaker 5: Then once you are clear of the period for twelve months,
• 44:03
  Speaker 5: that's when you are in menopause. But the thing, the
• 44:06
  Speaker 5: question I still cannot answer you is I don't know
• 44:09
  Speaker 5: when you're meant to go on hormone replacement therapy in
• 44:12
  Speaker 5: all of that. Because I didn't know that, I didn't
• 44:14
  Speaker 5: think to question that, and so I just went through
• 44:16
  Speaker 5: the fury for I reckon about.
• 44:17
  Speaker 4: Seven years.
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: On hormone replacement.
• 44:21
  Speaker 5: So that is an option for people, and then I
• 44:24
  Speaker 5: think there was I when what that does is it
• 44:28
  Speaker 5: evens out those surges, so the body just goes, Okay,
• 44:31
  Speaker 5: I need some estrogen or whatever it's lacking. I think
• 44:34
  Speaker 5: the hormone replacement therapy stuff literally just evens you and
• 44:39
  Speaker 5: makes you a bit more smooth.
• 44:41
  Speaker 4: Some women will.
• 44:42
  Speaker 5: Say you can't because it's bad for you. Some women
• 44:44
  Speaker 5: will say I didn't. I didn't know I was menopausal
• 44:49
  Speaker 5: and I never had the hormone replacement therapy, but I
• 44:52
  Speaker 5: have lots of friends who didn't know, Like, how did
• 44:55
  Speaker 5: you get through it without going on that?
• 44:56
  Speaker 3: So crazy?
• 44:57
  Speaker 5: Now?
• 44:58
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you turn nuts.
• 45:01
  Speaker 3: I can't wait?
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: And are you trying to like you got a job right?
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: Are you working through this period?
• 45:07
  Speaker 4: Oh yeah no, I could have been on camera and
• 45:09
  Speaker 4: those heat surgeres.
• 45:09
  Speaker 3: Are you doing stand up?
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you're on you're on camera? Oh yeah, TV?
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: And you're getting a hot search.
• 45:19
  Speaker 3: Through the room.
• 45:20
  Speaker 5: You're just kind of like, oh there's one. Oh that's
• 45:23
  Speaker 5: a big one.
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: How do you?
• 45:26
  Speaker 5: And also like you know, sometimes when I'm getting through
• 45:29
  Speaker 5: subjects and I forget the sentence that I'm going through,
• 45:31
  Speaker 5: it definitely gives.
• 45:32
  Speaker 4: You a lot of that.
• 45:33
  Speaker 5: Yeah, right, So as we move into and I'm fifty six,
• 45:37
  Speaker 5: as I moved closer to say, a demension age, I'm
• 45:39
  Speaker 5: not going to be able to tell some of the
• 45:41
  Speaker 5: differences because I'm already the brain's already left the building nearly.
• 45:45
  Speaker 4: So what do you do? How good are the stages
• 45:47
  Speaker 4: of life?
• 45:48
  Speaker 3: That's crazy?
• 45:49
  Speaker 2: Like we talk about like, I mean, how amazing women are,
• 45:54
  Speaker 2: Like they be able to give birth, We stub our
• 45:56
  Speaker 2: toe and we were like, I.
• 45:58
  Speaker 3: Come out, I'm ten ten days to recover.
• 46:01
  Speaker 2: You go through childbirth, and you go through having to
• 46:04
  Speaker 2: raise a child, feed a child, and then all of
• 46:06
  Speaker 2: a sudden, it's like after you know, the kids through it,
• 46:09
  Speaker 2: all the kids grown up and you know yours are
• 46:11
  Speaker 2: teenagers now, and then all of a sudden, it's like,
• 46:14
  Speaker 2: here's something else.
• 46:14
  Speaker 4: It's amazing, it's amazing.
• 46:17
  Speaker 3: I'm blown away.
• 46:18
  Speaker 5: Oh it's such a journey.
• 46:24
  Speaker 4: Look, I'm telling you, it's about the destination.
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: Let's not forget that men do get bad needs.
• 46:30
  Speaker 3: We do get so it's an even.
• 46:33
  Speaker 4: No, that's true.
• 46:34
  Speaker 5: It can get trigger that partly you guys have been
• 46:38
  Speaker 5: so unwell.
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: Do you come out the other end of metopause? Is
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: it like, you know, yes, you're different? Is it yes?
• 46:45
  Speaker 3: But do you actually come out yes?
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: In what way? Are you different?
• 46:50
  Speaker 3: So lost?
• 46:51
  Speaker 5: So that once you've had no period for the twelve
• 46:54
  Speaker 5: months and you are metopausal.
• 46:56
  Speaker 4: In theory, it all starts to.
• 47:00
  Speaker 5: Identify as no, well, I think you just kind think
• 47:03
  Speaker 5: just crossed. It's yellow brick roadship. You've got to get
• 47:07
  Speaker 5: to the it's got to get to the other side.
• 47:09
  Speaker 5: But what then happens is the clarity returns, and what
• 47:13
  Speaker 5: seems to be the trend is that a swathe of
• 47:16
  Speaker 5: women then from their fifties and beyond, well, we'll go
• 47:18
  Speaker 5: back and study, they'll go upskill, they will find other
• 47:24
  Speaker 5: ways to let their brains, you know, have a little run.
• 47:27
  Speaker 5: So it actually then becomes quite a prolific time for
• 47:30
  Speaker 5: women after going through that monster.
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: Where is that path going to lead you? Then, Julia,
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: I don't know where's it going.
• 47:36
  Speaker 4: I'm going to bet to white that ship.
• 47:38
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm just sh no, No, I'm just going to
• 47:41
  Speaker 5: work until I'm in the clogs and in the ground.
• 47:43
  Speaker 4: Oh yeah.
• 47:44
  Speaker 3: Planning on doing more stand up? Do you think?
• 47:46
  Speaker 5: Or every two years I do a big tour, So
• 47:48
  Speaker 5: because I like the audience to replenish, and I like
• 47:50
  Speaker 5: the material to replenish because it's got to be brand
• 47:53
  Speaker 5: new every two years. And then in the in the
• 47:55
  Speaker 5: intanm years, I will then do like loads of corporate gigs.
• 47:59
  Speaker 5: But and then, you know, please God, the jungle still
• 48:02
  Speaker 5: keeps rolling. With my new beloved Robert.
• 48:07
  Speaker 3: He's great, Oh my god, really grown into.
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: It was amazing a red hot series, by the way,
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: not just a pastia ego.
• 48:16
  Speaker 3: I love it.
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: I thought it was fantastic.
• 48:18
  Speaker 4: We had an absolute ball. I think all of the
• 48:20
  Speaker 4: menis was leaking through the screen.
• 48:22
  Speaker 5: We had such a good time, so you know that's
• 48:25
  Speaker 5: you know, that's always hard work, so it might as
• 48:27
  Speaker 5: well be super fun.
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: I've always asked my mom, who is now seventy two,
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: I've always said, do you think you're going to start
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: dating again? Like do you think it'll happen?
• 48:38
  Speaker 2: Is?
• 48:40
  Speaker 3: What do you mean your mom? That's going to be
• 48:42
  Speaker 3: a really bad.
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: Because I always, like us kids, us kids Juliet would
• 48:47
  Speaker 1: always want mom to have someone do your kids say? Mom,
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: like you are we're going to.
• 48:53
  Speaker 4: Make myself younger.
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: Going through a hot flush for ages?
• 49:00
  Speaker 5: How very dare I'm just.
• 49:03
  Speaker 4: Trying to get a podcast.
• 49:05
  Speaker 1: Done, are you girls saying let's jump back on that horse?
• 49:11
  Speaker 4: Not at all, no way.
• 49:13
  Speaker 5: So I literally I was getting a coffee yesterday and.
• 49:16
  Speaker 4: This woman came out to me.
• 49:17
  Speaker 5: I know, she goes you there's a whole lot of
• 49:19
  Speaker 5: people around you look amazing, I said, do you want
• 49:23
  Speaker 5: to know why I'm not married?
• 49:27
  Speaker 3: That's school bet, I've got so many laughs.
• 49:31
  Speaker 4: On that coffee line. I'm like, oh, hear your brother,
• 49:33
  Speaker 4: that's a.
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: Silent sleeping time to stand up.
• 49:36
  Speaker 4: Silent sleeping is everything showmanship. I think.
• 49:39
  Speaker 5: Also, I'm worried now that at fifty six, am I
• 49:42
  Speaker 5: not moving into the sick years. I'm not taking care
• 49:45
  Speaker 5: of somebody else's ass.
• 49:47
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, you don't want to get you don't want
• 49:49
  Speaker 2: to go into a late relationship.
• 49:50
  Speaker 3: And then they're like, oh, by the way, I can't
• 49:52
  Speaker 3: wipe you know what.
• 49:53
  Speaker 5: It's not that I'm closed to it and I'm always scanning.
• 49:59
  Speaker 5: That's an old happy you can't. You know, the snow
• 50:02
  Speaker 5: leopard can only be asleep. It can never really.
• 50:08
  Speaker 4: But I don't even understand how I will get to
• 50:12
  Speaker 4: the bit of the pash.
• 50:14
  Speaker 3: Just go for it, I say.
• 50:15
  Speaker 4: But you know, like, first of all, I've.
• 50:17
  Speaker 5: Got to fucking talk to someone. Excuse my language. First
• 50:20
  Speaker 5: of all, I've got to talk to someone, do you
• 50:22
  Speaker 5: know what I mean?
• 50:22
  Speaker 4: And then I'll be like.
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: Pretend to be interested in what I say. I feel
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: like the talking part may not be a struggle for
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: the thing.
• 50:31
  Speaker 4: I think all I will be doing is looking for
• 50:33
  Speaker 4: red flags.
• 50:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, my auntie after the divorce, she started dating a bike.
• 50:38
  Speaker 5: Did she YEA, she would have told you it's by.
• 50:41
  Speaker 3: Her a bike. He was disgusting, was he? He came
• 50:47
  Speaker 3: to Christmas once out of here.
• 50:49
  Speaker 1: Let's just say that if any bike is listening, we.
• 50:53
  Speaker 5: Look.
• 50:53
  Speaker 4: I mean, I've got a lengthy biking story, but it's
• 50:55
  Speaker 4: not for now.
• 50:56
  Speaker 3: It's time.
• 50:57
  Speaker 4: It's a backstage story. But you just ride.
• 51:01
  Speaker 5: Those roads and says little one to the top, one
• 51:05
  Speaker 5: of the bottom.
• 51:06
  Speaker 4: Because I thank you as you go past, and everyone's happy.
• 51:09
  Speaker 1: Julia, I have to say, and I'm not just saying
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: this because you're sitting in front of me and I'm
• 51:12
  Speaker 1: trying to be polite. I've been a huge fan of
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: yours for a very long time. Thank you, And we
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: have tried to get you on the podcast for a
• 51:19
  Speaker 1: little while. And I'm so bloody happy that it's happened,
• 51:22
  Speaker 1: but you're here, so thank you very.
• 51:25
  Speaker 3: Much, so much pleasure, love until next time.
• 51:32
  Speaker 1: Do I dare say Ash that that was my favorite
• 51:35
  Speaker 1: record so far? Do I dare say?
• 51:37
  Speaker 3: I dare say? Are you? Dare I dare we? All?
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: I've done it? If you think this is our best episode, hey,
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: why don't you just an idea, just a suggestion? You
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: could leave a review, You could five stars, a couple
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: of comments us, some nice words about me Ash or
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: Julia Julia.
• 51:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we will take them as our own.
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: We've got we've got a number now, so we'll be
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: in contact. Any other suggestions for guests that you would
• 52:01
  Speaker 1: like us to interview on the podcast, please send them
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: our way and we'll see you next week by two.
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: Doting Dad's podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout
• 52:17
  Speaker 1: Australia and the connections to land, see and community.
• 52:21
  Speaker 2: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
• 52:23
  Speaker 2: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal.
• 52:26
  Speaker 3: And Torrestraight Islander peoples today. This episode was recorded on
• 52:29
  Speaker 3: Gadagal Land