Latest / Pathological Positivity / Recognize Your Worth: The Power of Being 'Worthy Now' with Talia Riley – Episode #716
Transcript
- This is Live On Purpose Radio, episode 716, Worthy Now with Talia Riley. Now is the only time to create and live the life you love. I'm doctor Paul Jenkins, the positivity psychologist. My job is to connect you to powerful positive psychology principles that immediately upgrade your relationships, business, and mental health. Are you ready? Let's jump in. Hello, everybody. Welcome back to Live On Purpose Radio. This is doctor Paul, the shrink who expands your life with another episode of Live on Purpose Radio. What if you didn't have to earn your worth, but simply recognize it? In today's episode, I am joined by speaker, communication strategist, leadership trainer, and author Talia Riley, and I'm also proud to call her my friend. I've known Talia through the National Speakers Association, our Mountain West chapter, where she has valiantly served our chapter as part of our board of directors. And I'm excited to welcome you, Dahlia, to the Live On Purpose radio mic. Welcome. Oh, thank you so much. I am so honored to be here, doctor Paul. I have always looked up to you, and I am so, so grateful to be able to come and serve your community, which I follow and I'm I'm a a part of. I am excited to talk to you about this idea that you've now published into a book, Worthy Now. And this is actually a leadership book. Mhmm. Take I've got some thoughts that I'll follow-up on in just a minute, but I would love to give you just a moment to share with us a little bit of the story behind this. Why did you write this? You know, doctor Paul, thank you for letting me be vulnerable. Worthy Now is really, really dear to my heart because I, I struggled with feeling good enough and worthy enough when I was young and all throughout my life. I always thought it was in what I did to prove what I was, what my worth was. If I did more than I would be more. And, I realized I had some beautiful moments happen not too long before this book, but one day I was holding up the word now. I had the word now in my hand. I don't even know why, but I realized if that was flipped around, like in a mirror, it's spelled one w o n, that you've already won if you're choosing to be worthy now. And so I started to think about this whole concept of choosing worth now exactly as we are. Because I had had many miscarriages in the past, I had 10 pregnancies to get our four children here, and they are spread apart from ages 22. It was six, but she just turned seven on Friday. So 22 to seven, which is a big span. Right? Having babies in your forties is quite an undertaking when you have a 16 year old. So Yeah. That that was a challenge. And then through that process, I gained and lost, you know, 80 pounds, almost five times, several times in my life and it always made me brought me back to not feeling good enough and I thought, what if I chose to love myself exactly as I was even with my flaws, my imperfections, and it changed this whole concept of how I saw myself and how I love myself. And so I made this book, The Seven Commitments to Soar for leadership. It's for leaders in your personal and professional life. And so I'm just really grateful to get it out to the world, and it became a number one bestseller in the business research operations on Amazon. And I just want to share the concept with anyone who lacks feeling worthy as they are because they are enough right now. You know, that leads into a question that I have just been dying to ask you. And Yes. When I was reviewing your book, that's jumped out to me, actually, the the mirror thing, because I'd never thought about the word now being the word one if you mirror it. Yes. And so holding that up in front I'm just picturing, you know, with a mirror holding that up and seeing the word one. Mhmm. This guy has already won. Yep. Right? And I I kind of personalized that as you shared that idea. And then you said something as you were introducing this topic here that leads into this question. It it has to do with the difference between being worthy and feeling worthy. I think there's a meaningful difference there, And you point this out in your book. Where does your mind go with that when I ask about the difference between being worthy and feeling worthy? Well, I think I always thought I had to do things to be. Right? I had to accomplish more and become more. But as I started to really think about that concept, you know, I had this when concept that I kind of only share in the book, but I used to say, well, when Mhmm. I lose the weight, when I have more money, when I have better relationships with my children. Right? That's what led me to you. When, when, when. But what I realized is the when, so this is really cool. W and then n in the when already stands for worthy now. Now the he, h e in the middle for me is like, he already knows who I am. It could be a mentor that knows you, a father figure, someone within business, but there are people, the he's of the world that know who you are. You do not have to wait in the when to be worthy now Because that he, right? Whoever that is for you, the universe, whatever, you are. You are worthy right as you as you believe that and step into the now. And as I started to embrace that, you know, doing the mirror reflections, working on myself, I started to believe it, doctor Paul, for the first time in my forties, believing I am enough as I am. I don't need the titles, the crowns, the marathon races. Just believing that I'm enough as I am, as a mom, as a friend. Mhmm. It really has settled in, and I believe people can feel that from me. For the first time in my life, I had to write the book to still learn the concepts, you know, but sometimes that happens. Yeah. We're not perfect at what we write, but we write it for the world. And then we it helps us as we're working along the way. Have you found that before? Oh, I I'm relating to that so much. I think writing is a way of getting really clear Mhmm. About the messages that are landing for us personally. I know I've experienced that in the books I've written. Mhmm. And and as I become more clear about it, I'm in a position to share it with others too. And a lot of times, we have kind of a vague sense of something that seems important, but we can't really articulate it. Mhmm. And, Dalia, I've watched a little bit of your journey because I remember when you first joined our National Speakers Association chapter, And you were kind of this fledgling speaker, and and you wanted to get into it a bit. And now I mean, folks, go to Talia's website, taliariley.com. You're gonna see she's the real deal. And, Talia, I've just watched your growth. And as you've stepped into your confidence, there's a difference between being worthy and feeling worthy, and I think we're worthy already. Worthy now in your words. But there's another process where we realize that we're worthy, and then we feel worthy Until we realize that we don't you know, we're recording this at the July 2026. And I went on this little rant last month in June because there's a holiday called Juneteenth. K. Are you with that one? Yeah. And as I dug in, I'm a little embarrassed because I never actually knew what it was all about Mhmm. Until last year. And then this year, I was reflecting on that again. On June 19, back in the eighteen hundreds, eighteen fifty something, I can't remember the exact date, union troops marched into Galveston, Texas and declared that all enslaved Americans were now free. The Emancipation Proclamation was signed two years earlier. These people were already free legally, but they didn't realize their freedom. And I love the way that word means make it real. They didn't realize their freedom until the troops marched in and told them they were free. And as you were talking just now, I was thinking here's here's Talia marching in and telling people. Well, and what made me wonder what you just said is, like, would they have acted different if they would have already known they were free or proclaimed? I I don't know. Right? Sure. How would they have showed up feeling I'm free now versus waiting the two years. Right? They were already free. They didn't feel free until they realized it. Mhmm. And I think this is part of what I'm getting from your work and and the book that you've written that we get to realize our worthiness, which changes everything about how we feel, but it's how we feel that determines how we show up. Mhmm. And that creates our results in leadership, in parenting, in personal development, whatever it is, health. Exactly. And that's one of the the SOAR models. So it's the seven commitments to SOAR. It's what we see and think. Right? It's the opportunities in the o, open to opportunities. It's the, the a is creating the action because how do you show up and create action when you feel worthy, when you feel good, when you're believe that you're a good parent and a great leader, then your actions reflect that. And then R is the results and the relationships that you have. And that's how we soar. And, I was learning this concept of this humble confidence because you had said to me, you feel like you've been more confident you stepped into that. What I realized with that concept of the humble confidence is never being too good to not ask for help and support. You and many people along the way have been able to give me wonderful tips and feedback. And if you don't ask the questions and be humble to be the student rather than the teacher, which I'm a teacher in a classroom, a challenger, and I'm getting ready to start in two weeks. That's why I'm like, let's do this podcast. Because those kiddos are amazing, and this is where my path is to work there part time. But, you know, that humble confidence to step into student role and say, how can I learn? Instead of what what can I teach? Right? And that is what has built true confidence for me and other people that I've helped, you know, teach along the way is being humble to receive that. That humility you know that I train coaches. Oh, yeah. And, one of my favorite things to say is that coaches need coaches. Absolutely. And I coach a lot of people. Mhmm. So I have a commitment and I feel an obligation to hire the best coaches to work for me. Mhmm. And to coach me and to help me see the the blind spots or the things that I'm not quite aware of to help me realize, you know, getting back to that idea, realize what my capabilities are and get out of my own way. That's another thing I kind of got from from your book, Talia, that there was this sense of Talia's in there somewhere. You know, you shared this experience of that was at fifty five days from realization to fulfillment. Mhmm. And you can share a little bit of that story if you want to, but I I was getting this energy of she's in there somewhere, but she hasn't realized her own worthiness. Yeah. Well, what it took for me was I I had an opportunity to see another friend of ours. She did a pageant this year in March, and I just went to support her. That was it. And when I went, I just noticed myself with tears because I watched women of all shapes and sizes and color and age standing on a stage no matter what, whether they had stretch marks or pain or agony. And I cried hearing their stories, and I I got these chills. Like, I wanna share my message worthy now. And then I thought, oh, I'll never get on the stage. This is absolutely crazy. I'm 46. No way. And then our friend, which I can probably say her name because she's amazing, and she did the program. But Lindy, our friend Lindy came up to me and said, Talia, it's almost like she could feel the stirring because she was there to support our friend also. She said, have you ever thought about doing this before? Like, something like a pageant? I'm like, no. You know, I'm not wanting her to tell it. She goes, well, my friend is doing one. Take this QR code. She hands me the QR code, and, and it's sitting there burning a hole in my pocket over the weekend. So finally, I pull it out and look at it and realize it's fifty five days away. Not a year, fifty five days. And so the little short part of this story was I got to choose if I wanted to make a decision to sit back and watch other people step into their worth as they were, other colleagues in speaking, because I've been teaching it, but not living it. And that's when I said, I am going to take action. I don't know what it's gonna look like, I'm gonna sign up for this thing. And it changed the whole trajectory, what's that word, trajectory, right? You say it for me. Yeah, close enough. Of my book. I mean, I had had it pretty much written, but then it turned and flipped it all around of what crowns in life we're chasing. Where does our worth come from? Because it wasn't ever really about the pageant, but the pageant for me and my brain was like, oh, well, maybe if I got this, I'd feel good enough. I'd look. And it was just a beautiful thing to walk your walk and talk, to look yourself in the mirror, to believe in yourself. And and doctor Paul, the biggest thing I can say for your members and people is start taking action wherever you're at. If you start taking and making commitments and taking action for yourself, things shift. People see you not just telling them what to do, but doing it. And it it just does something for yourself and your brain can believe, yes, I'm worthy as I am. So anyway, that was a piece of my journey to just walk what you teach and do what you do. You know, even if it's imperfect and you mess up, you're still going forward. I think that is this process I was queuing in on earlier with realizing, making it real because an idea is just an idea until you manifest it in the world by putting your body, your hands, your ideas into motion, and the a in your SOAR acronym Yes. Taking action, which creates your results. Mhmm. And you know what, Talia? This is a law of the universe. Yeah. Things don't just magically poof into existence. Mhmm. In fact, we know in physics that matter cannot be created or destroyed. It only changes form. Mhmm. And the process by which the elements change form is called work. Mhmm. We we move the elements around. And I love the way that you've captured that and the enthusiasm behind it too. I can tell you're excited about this. Well, I'm really excited and then I almost you know, I wasn't gonna share this, but I feel like I wanna share this little miracle that happened. As you know, we go to this national speakers influence meeting for all the speakers that gather, and I was really in my head, like tears, like feeling imposter, like, okay, my book just came out as a number one bestseller, but I still feel like I can't be in these audiences. I just like looking at other people in comparison, and it's always takes us from it. But what ended up happening was for years, I have had on my vision board, which is like right up above me, and it just says in little words, international speaker. And I thought one day, one day I wanna be like my colleagues, right? Like my friends who are these international speakers, and I don't know how it's gonna happen. And I was in these moments just like processing, and just why am I here? And I met a woman that happened to come up to me, and I just loved her light, and said, hey, come and sit by me. And we ended up in a breakout session where we started talking, and the minute she opened her mouth, she had this beautiful accent. And I said, where are you from? And she said, oh, I'm from New Zealand. And I know I'm messing up her accent, are you kidding me? My husband and I just booked our dream vacation to New Zealand in November this year, two days ago, and I said, it's for our twenty eighth anniversary, and we're gonna go to New Zealand. It's something we've dreamt of our whole life. And she said, really? She said, would you like to come to an NSA meeting while you're there? And I thought, well, we're at us and NSA. Maybe that's why she's asking. I said, well, sure. These are the dates I'm here. And she says, because we have one that on the on the Tuesday, the third Tuesday, and you would be there. And I said, well, sure. And then I said, yes, before what happened, which was the most amazing miracle. And I believe it comes from the concept of feeling worthy now. I don't believe this would have happened months ago if I hadn't stepped in and embraced that I am worthy as I am. And she looked at me and she says, what what's here? I'm the international president for New Zealand and all of NSA. Would you actually like to come and speak for us here? And I was like, serious? And I know I can tell you this because you'll celebrate, you'll understand. But to see speak to 60 or 70 of their professional speakers within the NSA national speakers, She didn't even know my topic. She just felt to ask me, and I thought this has gotta be a dream, you know, it's gotta be a dream. And later we talked, and what she wanted me to speak on was exactly what I share, feeling worth to connect with other people, like telling the story of how we met by her coming here as an international president and talking and being open and the opportunities and then tying it into those that maybe can't travel. How can we use LinkedIn? How can we use social media and our associations and our groups like your your people in your community to collaborate, contribute, to grow, and connect? Doctor Paul, I am still in shock. And when she would see me around the conference, she'd say, hello, dear. How's my international speaker? And I was like, oh, my gosh. This is something I had wanted for four or five years. And I truly believe that as we step into believing and and not trying to prove, but just believe that we're enough as we are. Opportunities show up that we would have never dreamt of. And I I just felt to share that. I love that. I even know who you're talking about, and I can hear her voice saying it. Oh, you do. Oh my gosh. She's amazing. Oh, fun. Congratulations. And, Dahlia, thank you for sharing your story with us here today. There's energy there. As we realize our worthiness, it's already there. It's just a question of us connecting with that. And once we do realize it, then we're going to feel it. That's the sequence there. It's already there. And I think it reflects into our personal lives and our professional lives because it's also Oh, for sure. To be a good leader, you know, we and a good parent, it starts within ourselves. And people mirror and feel what we're, you know, what we're sending out there and how we're showing up. And if we wanna be a good leader, being a good leader means starting with ourselves because we can't love and be there for other people to the capacity that we can't for ourselves. So as we show up and feel worthy now, it gives other people permission to step into that too. Absolutely. Alright folks, you've heard it. It is time to go apply it. Let's all go live on purpose. Did you get what you came for? Give yourself the gift of taking real action action on what you realized today. Please share this episode with someone you know would value it, and leave us a rating too. It's time now to live on purpose.